The Forgotten Girl

Chapter 6

Lily

As soon as I get control, the imaginary man vanishes¸ because I have more power over the mind then to let the ghost memory remain there, attempting to torment me.

“I’m not a fucking whore,” I say in level voice. Sydney’s lucky we’re in a crowded place, otherwise this would all be over with in the snap of a finger. “And if you call me that again, you won’t be walking away from me.” My hands are calmly at my sides, my posture straight, my gaze unwavering. I’m in more control than I’ve ever been, which is good. Maddie is weak and the most undecided person I’ve ever known. It’s no wonder she needs me.

“Excuse me,” Sydney says, inching toward me, but then rethinks it and retreats. “What’s y-your deal,” she stammers, bumping her hip against a chair.

“What’s my deal?” I press my lips together, deciding how to go about this. If Maddie were completely silent, I’d probably knock her out and walk away from it. Suffer the consequences. It’s not like I haven’t done that before—suffered. And I can sure as hell do it again. I take a few calculated steps toward her and slant my head to the side, inspecting blondie. “You really want to know what my deal is? Really?” My voice drips with sarcasm.

Sydney’s lips part as if she’s going to say something, but then she gets this frightened look and starts moving around quickly, practically jogging around the tables, ramming into some of them. All I can think is tackle her down and enfold my fingers around her neck. Strangle her, like I did to the man in the road. I want to so badly but I know I can’t, not with four sets of eyes on me. I have to ball my hands into fists and stab my nails into my palms to contain my inner desires that I don’t understand. I draw blood. Cut skin. It feels good, so I plunge my nails deeper into my skin I don’t move even when Sydney disappears into the back room. It’s the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do—not following after her.

You’re a whore!

The voice is right—I am a whore. That among other things. I’m a sinner. A rebel. A punk. A psychopath, at least according to the voice. It’s not like I chose to be this way. Shit has happened that created me. Shit I don’t understand and don’t really care to understand. All I care about at the moment is chasing after Sydney, pulling her hair out, making her bleed. Watching her veins pop open. Spilling blood. Making her pay for saying those things to me. Not being weak and letting myself get walked all over. That’s Maddie’s thing. I’m alive just thinking about it and finally I decide to give into it and let Maddie deal with it later. I step forward, ready to go through with it—rip her to shreds.

“You okay?” Bella touches my shoulder and I whirl around, almost hitting her in the face.

She blinks, stunned, surrendering her hands in front of her and I blink, nearly falling to the floor as it feels like a ghost rushes from my body and I’m gone back into my hiding place, where I can’t be seen. Locked up, just like always.

Story of my life for the last six years, ever since I lost control.