The Marcelli Princess

15

Although Mia had mocked Rafael about his new SUV, she was actually pretty grateful to arrive at Danny’s preschool in it rather than in a limo with diplomatic flags. As promised, Oliver and Umberto stayed in the background and did their security guard best to blend in. Which left her the yet unsolved problem of how to explain Rafael.

While she wasn’t close with the other mothers in the school, she did chat with them from time to time. She’d never mentioned a father for Danny. Not that anyone had asked. In today’s world of single mothers, no one thought it was unusual to be manless. But showing up with a well-dressed, gorgeous man who looked like a fallen angel and spoke like Antonio Banderas was bound to create just a little too much interest.

She stopped at the edge of the parking lot and looked at him. “I don’t know how to explain you,” she admitted. “To the people here.”

“Will they ask?”

“Danny’s been enrolled just over a year and this is your first time showing up. Not to mention the fact that you haven’t exactly been a subject of conversation.”

“All right. Tell them I am his father. We will smile pleasantly and keep moving. If you do not give them time to gather their thoughts, they will not be able to ask questions. Most people are too polite to pry in a setting such as this.” He smiled. “You may get a few phone calls later.”

She’d already figured that out. As for his plan, it was the only one they had.

“Let’s go,” she said, and led the way into the low, one-story building.

There were several small classrooms, three playrooms, and a big meeting room that currently had a stage at one end. Mia smiled at several of the mothers she knew and did her best to ignore their wide-eyed stares at Rafael. Oh yeah, there would be plenty of phone calls later.

The two of them took seats on the far side of the room, by a fire exit. There weren’t any other parents sitting there yet. She had a feeling that spot had been prearranged and that Umberto and Oliver were hovering just outside. She subtly shifted her chair a bit farther away from Rafael’s so there would be no accidental touching. Right now she didn’t need the distraction.

“I hope no one recognizes you,” she muttered. “I’m not a big tabloid reader, but lots of other people are. I wouldn’t enjoy someone standing up and screaming out your identity.”

“Nor would I.” He glanced around. “We do not have a camera. I did not think to bring one. This is Daniel’s first play. We must have pictures.” He started to rise. “Instruct them not to begin the play until I have returned.”

Mia put her hand on his arm. “Settle down. I have a camera.” Then she realized they were touching and that the heat from his skin burned her in a way designed to make her rip off her clothes and beg to be taken right that second.

She casually removed her hand and reached into her bag for her digital camera.

Why did he still have to get to her? If only they hadn’t made love. If she didn’t have such incredible and recent memories, she would be able to ignore her physical attraction to him. She loathed the man with every fiber of her being and she absolutely hated suspecting that if they were alone and he started to seduce her, she wouldn’t be able to say no.

In her head, she knew the opposite of love was apathy. That as long as she had energy in her feelings for Rafael, she was far from being over him. But in her heart, she wanted to slice her feelings away, like an unwanted disease. She wanted to forget how good he was with Danny, how he could be sensitive at the oddest times, how, until the Portuguese incident, he respected her intelligence.

Two months ago, her life had been relatively uncomplicated. Now it was fodder for a cable movie of the week.

“You told me Daniel is the star of the play,” Rafael said.

“No I didn’t. He’s a tree. I told you he has three lines, just like every other child. This is preschool, not Broadway. There are no stars.”

“But he is…” He lowered his voice. “He is the heir to the Calandrian throne.”

“Gee, you know what? I didn’t have that information when they were casting the play. What a shame, because if I’d told them I’m sure they would have made him the star.”

Rafael stared at her. “Do you not believe your son is special?”

“Of course. But because of who he is on the inside. Not because of his relationship to you. I thought he was the most amazing child back when he was the son of an antiquities smuggler.”

He frowned slightly. “I had not considered that. Were you angry when you discovered you were pregnant?”

“No. Not angry. Shocked. But I was going through a bad time, and finding out I was pregnant got me through it.”

She really didn’t want to talk about this. Why couldn’t they be arguing about the light bill like the other parents?

“You mean because you thought I was dead,” he told her.

“Whatever.” She stared straight ahead.

“Mia.” He leaned close until his mouth was almost touching her ear. “I did not mean to hurt you by letting you think I was dead. I did not consider that you would mourn me.”

She turned to glare at him only to discover their faces were very, very close. “I told you I loved you. I don’t say that to just anyone. I thought you were a real bad guy. I was violating every belief I had by being with you.”

“I see that now. I am sorry for not understanding it then. Returning to my real life was traumatic. My father was very angry. I had neglected many duties. There were complications, but I should have considered your feelings.”

It wasn’t much of an apology, but considering the source, it wasn’t bad. Unlike the last one, when he’d been whiny and had complained about being caught rather than being wrong.

“Fine,” she muttered, and faced front again.

“This is nice,” he said. “The preschool. The play.”

“If you’re going to launch into some sob story about how you never had a normal childhood with the hopes that I’ll feel sorry for you, forget it.”

“My childhood was fine,” he told her. “One of great privilege. I had a series of very nice nannies and tutors until I was sent away to school.”

He spoke so matter-of-factly that she couldn’t tell if he was being casual or playing her.

“I’m glad Daniel will have more than that,” he continued. “Different experiences.”

“Which you wanted to take him away from.”

“He would have carried the memories. They would have shaped him.”

As if that was an excuse. “He’s four. How much would he remember?”

“Enough.” He glanced at her. “I did not mean to take him from you.”

That got her attention. “Excuse me? That was your entire plan.”

“Yes, I know. I am saying now, after considering what would have happened, I was wrong. I wanted my son in my life. I still want that. I want him to understand who he is. His history, his place in the world. But I see…”

When he paused she turned toward him. The urge to be sarcastic and cutting pressed in on her, but she resisted. Maybe, just maybe, she and Rafael were actually going to get to the truth for once.

“It would have been difficult for him,” Rafael said slowly. “He would have missed you and your family. I would not have known what to say to comfort him. My father would have insisted he act like a prince and a new nanny would have been hired. I’m sure neither would have helped a four-year-old boy heal from that kind of wound.”

“You’re right. No child should have his whole world ripped from him. Sometimes things happen and it can’t be helped. But it shouldn’t happen like this.”

His blue eyes darkened. “You know you can’t keep him from me forever. Some point of compromise will have to be reached.”

“You’re ruining a perfectly good moment,” she muttered as she fought against anger. “You have no right to talk to me about compromise after what you did.”

“I know, but that does not change the truth. I want things to be different for Daniel. Better. I do not know how to make that happen. I would need your help.”

As he spoke, he reached for her hand. She snatched it away. Any touching would only muddle her brain. It was just her bad luck that the first sex she’d had in nearly five years turned out to be with a lying weaselly dog.

“You would need my help if you were taking him away, but you’re not, so there isn’t a problem.”

He settled back in his chair. “You’re a very stubborn woman.”

“It’s a Marcelli trait. Something I’m very proud of.”

She stared at the stage and was grateful that no one had come to sit near them yet. Talk about a fascinating conversation to overhear.

“You think I walked away from you and never thought of you again,” he said.

Unable to resist the bait, she spun to face him. “Don’t even go there. Don’t try to convince me that you pined for me for even one second. We both know you didn’t. If you had cared, you would have come after me. You would have told me you weren’t dead. You would have done something. I was a way to pass the time while you were playing at being the bad guy.”

“So much anger,” he said as he touched her cheek.

She jerked her head back. “Stop touching me.”

“As you wish.”

He dropped his hand to his lap and she immediately wanted him to put it back on her.

“You’ve already done this dance, Rafael,” she told him. “Stop lying. You can’t sell me on believing in you again, so just let it go.”

“I did not come after you,” he said. “When I returned to the palace, my father was furious with me. He thought I had been studying abroad. When he found out I’d risked my life, he nearly locked me in the dungeon. I pointed out I was of age and free to live my life. He disagreed. I am, after all, the heir.”

She rolled her eyes. “Is there an actual point?”

“I am the heir, Mia. I am expected to marry a particular kind of woman.”

“I wasn’t asking you to marry me, you egotistical creep. A postcard would have been nice. You let me think you were dead.”

“I did not have a choice.” He shook his head. “I chose not to have a choice. You were not someone I could have married. There was no point in caring about you anymore.”

There were too many emotions, she thought, wishing she could simply leave. Anger and hurt and confusion and a deep, stupid desire to believe him.

“I did not know what to say to you,” he told her. “I did not know how to explain we could not be together. To say why seemed…”

“Arrogant? Stuck up? Presumptuous?”

He shrugged. “All of those. So I took the easy way out. I said nothing. I let you walk away.”

“Why are we having this conversation?” she asked, wishing the damn play would start or someone would come sit by them so he would stop talking.

“Because I want to apologize for that. I behaved badly.”

He sounded sincere. She would swear that she could see the truth in his eyes. And she hated that. Hated that after everything they’d been through, she still wanted him to be one of the good guys.

“You can’t honestly believe I’m going to trust you,” she snapped. “You’re an expert at playing my emotions. You came here with the express purpose of seducing me in order to steal Danny. Why is this any different?”

“Because it is. I do not know how else to explain myself to you.”

“Then stop trying, because I’m done listening.”

“Mia-”

But whatever he’d been about to say was cut off when a family moved into the row in front of them. Mia breathed a sigh of relief. It was a testament to his charm that even knowing what she knew, she still had trouble resisting him. The man was the devil.

Maybe that was problem. Women had been losing their souls to the devil’s brand of temptation since the very beginning of time. Who was she to buck tradition?

Francesca hesitated outside the bedroom door. “I’m scared,” she whispered.

Mia squeezed her hand. “You love her. That’s what matters.”

Francesca nodded, then knocked once and pushed open the door. “Hi, sweetie, how are you?”

Mia followed her sister into Kelly’s room. Kelly lay on the bed reading a fashion magazine. She barely glanced at them.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you,” Francesca said. “Just to talk about how things are going.”

Kelly threw down the magazine and pushed herself into a sitting position. Her gaze narrowed. “So why is Mia here? And why is your face all scrunchy? You’re not just here to talk. What’s going on?”

Francesca glanced at Mia. “She was always really bright.”

“Beats the alternative,” Mia told her. “Want the chair?”

Francesca nodded and pulled out the desk chair. Mia settled in the window seat. Kelly folded her arms over her chest in a position even a layperson like Mia recognized as defensive.

“What?” she demanded.

Francesca drew in a breath. “Kelly, your dad and I love you so much. I hope you know that. We only want you to be happy.”

“I am happy. Perfectly happy. I have a great life. I’m a dancer with the San Francisco Ballet. It’s a fabulous company and I’m working really hard. Everything is fine.”

“I don’t think so.”

Kelly rolled her eyes. “Because you’re going to believe Rafael’s bullshit? Isn’t he the liar prince?”

Mia admired her sister’s patience. Francesca didn’t lose her composure. She kept eye contact and spoke in a low voice. Obviously she wasn’t a real Marcelli-she must have been spawned by aliens from a galaxy far, far away.

“I think what you do is amazing,” Francesca said. “When you dance, you move with such grace and beauty, it’s as if you’re one with the music. You’re right. You are working really hard. You’ve given up so much for your dance. Maybe it’s too much. We were all so caught up in the dream of you being a ballerina, maybe we never considered the reality.”

Kelly opened her mouth, then closed it. “This is stupid.”

Francesca continued as if she hadn’t heard. “So many women your age are in college. They’re going to classes and frat parties and changing their minds about their majors. Sometimes their biggest problem is how to fit all the dirty laundry in the trunk of their car. But not you. You’re living in the real world. You have an apartment, you pay your bills. You’re a working woman. I can’t imagine that at your age. Of course I was a student at twenty-eight.”

Francesca smiled as she spoke. Kelly’s lower lip quivered a little.

“We want you to be happy,” Francesca told her. “Sometimes you have to try something to know if it’s what you want. Sometimes you have to stumble and fall before you can fly.”

Mia shifted on the window seat. “Francesca, you would try the patience of a saint. I swear, if you have any more analogies, I’m going to have to scream. Jeez. Just spit it out. Tell the kid you don’t care if she doesn’t want to be a dancer anymore. That it’s fine. She can move home or go to college or whatever.”

Francesca shot her a very clear “would you please shut up” look.

“I’m not a kid,” Kelly said, then burst into tears.

Francesca moved onto the bed and pulled Kelly into her arms. Kelly clung to her.

“I’m s-sorry,” she breathed between sobs. “I hate being a dancer. I know you guys g-gave up so much for me. I know it c-cost a lot. But I hate it.” She raised her head and wiped her face with the back of her hand. “I hurt all the time. The physical work is grueling. I’m tired and I’m hungry. I don’t have what it takes. I don’t. Even if I do, I don’t want to anymore.”

Francesca hugged her close. “Then you can stop right now.” She smiled at Mia over Kelly’s curly red hair and mouthed “Thank you.”

Mia didn’t bother to point out that she wasn’t the one to be thanking. Rafael had figured out the truth none of them had been able to see. She wouldn’t have thought he had the sensitivity or awareness, but she’d been wrong.

Kelly continued to cry. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be,” Francesca said. “You’re only twenty. How can you know what you want to do with your life? You’re allowed to change your mind.”

Kelly raised her head and wiped at her tears. “Really?”

Francesca nodded. “Of course.”

“Then I want to go to college. Maybe community college at first. I want to be a physical therapist, get married, and have kids. I could teach ballet on the side or something. I don’t want to let it go, but I can’t make it my life anymore.”

“Then you won’t.”

Kelly smiled. “Thanks for making me talk about this.”

“Not a problem. I want you to know you can always come to me or your dad if you need to.”

“I know, I just felt so stupid. I finally had what I’d always wanted and suddenly I didn’t want it anymore. And…” She ducked her head. “I’m really sorry about Etienne. He was another mistake.”

“You were trying to get our attention.”

Kelly grinned at her. “Did it work?”

“Big-time.”

Kelly hugged her, then slid off the bed. She crossed to Mia and caught her in a hug. “Thank Rafael for me, okay? Maybe he’s not such a big butthead.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Kelly straightened. “I’m gonna go call Dad, then ask the Grands for some leftovers.”

“Good. He’ll want to talk to you, and you know how the Grands feel about feeding you. You’ll make their day.”

Kelly raced from the room. Francesca watched her go. “I’m so relieved,” she said with a sigh. “I feel so much better about things. I know Kelly does, too. It’s just…how could we not have figured it out before? She’s been crying for help and no one noticed.”

“We noticed,” Mia told her. “We just weren’t sure what was wrong. To quote your daughter, it took the butthead to see it.”

“Which means he isn’t as completely self-centered as we thought.”

“Actually he is. He told me with the idea of getting points in return.”

Francesca shrugged. “Still, it took a little emotional awareness for him to figure it out.”

“You say that like it’s a good thing.”

“It’s not bad. Mia, we’re talking about Danny’s father. You can’t ignore him forever.”

“Watch me try.”

“Oh, that’s mature.”

Mia shook her head. “I know what you’re saying, but I’m not prepared to be mature right now. I’m still angry and I don’t trust him.”

She thought about all they’d discussed while waiting for Danny’s play to start. What bugged her wasn’t what he said-it was her desire to believe it.

“Maybe he’s learned his lesson,” Francesca said.

“People don’t change.”

“Of course they do. Look at you. You’re not the same person you were six years ago.”

“We’re talking about days, not years,” Mia reminded her. “People change if motivated. Do you really think Rafael is? Right now he’s pissed because he didn’t win. He’ll get tired and go home.”

“Do you really believe he’s going to walk away from Danny?”

Mia drew in a deep breath. “No,” she said slowly, knowing anything else was wishful thinking on her part. “He’ll come up with another plan. Maybe he already has. Whatever happens, I refuse to trust him.”

Francesca winced. “Be careful about drawing a line in the sand. You don’t want to get trapped by your own words.”

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. There is nothing Rafael can say or do to make me ever believe him again. He knows it and I know it.”

“I’m riding, I’m riding,” Danny cried as he circled the lawn behind the house.

“You look great,” Mia called to the boy.

“Excellent,” Rafael said. “Just like that. Very good.”

Mia watched her son on the pony and realized that with the trip to Calandria off, she was going to have to find a place for Gaspare. She couldn’t keep him tied up by the garage under Joe’s makeshift tent/stable.

“I need to find a stable,” she murmured. “Are they listed in the phone book?”

Rafael stiffened, but didn’t protest that Danny and his pony would soon be leaving.

“You have land here,” he said instead. “You could build a small stable.”

“In theory, but unless the plans came with a way to build a little someone to care for Gaspare then we’d still have a problem. Danny’s too young to care for the pony and I’ll be busy with school. Even if you’re still here, you don’t strike me as the type to muck out a stall.” She glanced at him. “It is ‘muck out,’ isn’t it?”

“That is the term.”

His expression was tight, his eyes narrowed.

“You’re all pinchy,” she said, feeling suddenly cheerful. “Is it the thought of being forced to stay here or the knowledge that the little prince won’t be returning with you?”

“I am enjoying my time here with you,” he said, avoiding the question. “Daniel has an excellent seat.”

Not exactly a smooth change of subject, but that was okay. She glanced at Danny and saw he really did seem to have an instinctive understanding of how to ride.

“He must get that from you,” she said. “I don’t think a Marcelli has been on a horse in eighty or ninety years.”

“Then perhaps it is time. I could arrange for the three of us to go riding.”

“No, thanks. I think the pony is dangerous enough. I don’t want to see a real horse.”

“You are afraid?” he asked, his voice taunting her.

She refused to be trapped by threat of being called chicken. “Sensible. Very sensible.”

“I see. How is Kelly?”

She groaned. “You love that you were right, don’t you?”

“I’m glad she was able to tell her parents the truth and now she’s happy.”

“Oh, please. You’re desperate to do the happy dance,” Mia said. “You think you’re Mr. Sensitivity.”

He smiled. “I assure you, that title never crossed my mind. I meant what I said. I like Kelly.”

“You’re not fooling me, Rafael. I know all this pleasant chitchat is just part of your master plan. You’re trying to lull me into liking you again. It’s not going to happen.”

He glanced at her, then returned his attention to Danny. “Is it so impossible to believe I might regret what happened? That I now wish for a chance to make things right between us?”

“Yes. It is impossible.”

“Because I am so horrible?”

“It’s not about being horrible. It’s about being used to getting your way. You’re not used to regular rules. You don’t believe in them. Why would you play by them now?”

“Because they are all that is left to me.” He looked at her again. “You are right-I planned to steal your son from you. But in my mind, I didn’t take the idea any further. I did not consider that Daniel would be devastated by the loss. I would have, and then I would have realized we needed to come up with another way.”

“That’s it?” she asked, incredulous. “That’s all you got from this?”

“What is wrong with what I said? I have admitted I was wrong. I would have hurt Daniel and that was never my plan. I have also told you several times that I intended for you to be able to see Daniel, that I wasn’t going to keep him from you, but you choose not to believe that. So why would I continue to repeat myself?”

“That’s it?” she demanded again, even as she smiled and waved at Danny as he continued to circle the lawn. “That’s the best you can do?”

“What more do you want from me? Blood?”

“It would at least be a start.”

“Be reasonable, Mia. I cannot undo the past. What would make you feel better now?”

“There’s nothing,” she said between clenched teeth. How she loathed the man. How she wished he’d never seen that stupid picture, had never come here. If only-

“Change the law,” she said suddenly. “I was kidding before, but I’m not now. Change the law that says once Danny is on Calandrian soil I have no rights. Make us equals in Calandria law.”

“Will that be enough?” he asked, surprising her. She’d been so sure he would protest.

“It will be a start.”

“I will call the leader of parliament in the morning,” he said. “I give you my word.”

He held out his hand as if they were supposed to shake on it.

She didn’t want to shake hands with him. She didn’t want to touch him at all. Whenever she did, she was reminded how weak and rebellious her body could be. But there was no polite way to avoid the contact, so she braced herself and slid her hand against his.

The sparks were instant. Need exploded like a firecracker trapped in a box. There was light and heat, which she hated almost as much as his knowing smile.

“It’s just physical,” she snapped as she pulled back and stepped away from him.

“The body and the spirit are not so easily separated,” he said. “They influence each other.”

“Not in this case. Don’t go getting any ideas.” She glanced at her watch. “Your time is up. You need to leave.”

She expected him to protest. Instead he walked over to Danny and lifted him down from the pony. “You have done well,” Rafael told him. “I’m very proud of you.”

“I don’t wanna stop,” Danny said.

“It is time for me to leave.”

Danny’s lower lip thrust out. “No!” he yelled. “You stay. Mommy, tell Daddy to stay.”

“Danny, it’s time for Daddy to leave.”

She tried to gather him in her arms, but he pushed away and ran to Rafael.

“Stay, Daddy,” the boy cried. “I’m the heir and I say you stay.”

“Danny…,” Mia started.

Her son turned on her. “Why did you make him go away? Why can’t my daddy stay with me? I want him to stay. I want him to live with me. I’m the heir and I say so. I say so!”

The last sentence came out as a shrieking scream. Mia was stunned when her normally reasonable, rational, emotionally stable child threw himself on the ground and began kicking and yelling.

“Danny,” she said quietly. “It’s all right.”

“It’s not. It’s not.”

“Mia,” Rafael murmured.

She looked at him. “Just go. I’ll deal with this.”

“I will not leave you alone while he is like this.”

Which, in theory, was lovely. But in reality, the longer he stayed, the worse it would get. Still, she couldn’t force him to go.

She sat next to Danny and Rafael sat next to her. Danny cried himself out of his tantrum in about three minutes, then crawled on her lap. He put one arm around her neck and one around his father’s, forcing them to lean toward each other. Then he cried as if his heart were breaking.

Parts of words tumbled out. It took her a minute to figure out what he was saying, and when she did, her heart broke, too.

“I want a mommy and daddy at the same time.”