Chapter 10

What to wear? What to wear? I stared at my closet, like magically the perfect outfit would pop out and hit me.

Ugh! Why did I say I’d wear white? I thought it would seem cool and mysterious, but really there was nothing cool and mysterious about me. John already knew more about me from the past few days than a lot of people. I also had two women see more of me than any guy had in a year. Yet I knew nothing about John or the doctors.

Sure, he may have told me that his dad was a chef and would give me hints of things, like his tattoos, but the hot guy was still as much of a mystery to me as ever.

Finally, after combing through my closet forever, I put on a plain white tank top, jean skirt, and some black leggings. It was too cold to wear just the skirt and I didn’t want to be one of those girls that crawled across campus half naked. I didn’t know how I didn’t hear of more girls getting hypothermia after the weekend, but to each their own.

By the time I arrived, the Alpha Mu house was in full party mode. Two guys were camped out at the front door, wearing green Alpha Mu shirts. A line of people waited to be let in as if it was some sort of exclusive club.

The November weather was getting worse and I pulled my coat tightly around me. The two girls in front of me were wearing short, sparkly green dresses and barely even shivering. Instead they bounced around, giggling. The blonde one turned toward me and I recognized her as Betsy, the hickey queen who worked at Brewster’s.

“Oh Em Gee, Melanie! What are you doing here? I didn’t think you partied at the Alpha Mu house.”

“Yeah. I mean, no. I don’t usually party here. A friend invited me.” I tried to keep my voice even, but the temperature had seriously dropped and I was trying not to shiver. What the Hell were those guys doing at the door that was taking so long?

“Ohhh a friend?” She batted her goopy eyelashes and then glanced at her friend before looking back at me. “Who is it? I know a lot of guys in the house.”

“It’s no one important.” I tried to remain calm and saw that we were almost to the door. It was probably a bad idea to come alone. I should have begged Monica to come with or someone from one of my classes. Or maybe just not come at all.

“I hope he doesn’t hear you say that if you are hoping to get some later.” She cackled. Yes. That’s what it sounded like. A witch cackle.

“Next!” The taller of the guys at the door called. Saved by the yell.

Betsy whipped around, her blonde hair pelting me in the face. “Gabey Wabey!” Her and her friend pranced over to the door and she threw her arms around the guy. He barely looked at her and didn’t even hug her back. Instead he looked directly at me.

Hey, brunette, do I know you?

Betsy jumped from the guy’s arms and looked back at me, cocking one of her way-too-thin eyebrows. “Are you talking about Melanie? She’s my boss at Brewster’s. You’ve probably seen her in there when you’ve gotten your hangover donuts.”

I noticed the other guy at the door was checking Betsy’s friend’s ID. Weird. That must have been what the holdup was.

He shook his head, rubbing his goatee. No, that’s not it. He stopped rubbing and it was like a light bulb went off above his head. “You were here the other night with John Boy. I remember he drove you home the next morning.”

Betsy blinked, hard. You hooked up with John Boy and he gave you a ride home?

“It wasn’t exactly hooking up....”

“You little slut! You should have told me sooner! Betsy squealed.

“Hey, Blondie, quit yapping and just do the Alpha Mu shuffle so we can stop freezing our asses off!” some guy yelled from the back of the line.

“The what?” I asked, eager to change the subject.

Betsy handed over her ID and then slightly lifted up the hem of her dress, spinning around in front of Gabe, who barely gave her a second look and kept his eyes on me as he spoke. “We check to make sure you have a student ID and then have you show your waistband so we can see that you aren’t trying to bring a gun or anything into the house.”

Oh, that makes sense. I pulled my student ID out of my pocket. It was attached to my Central College lanyard that also had my keys. It was actually a smart idea. No guns and that probably meant no undercover cops.

“Waistband?” he asked.

I shivered, reluctant to show any part of my body. Not just because it was freezing out, but I didn’t exactly have the flattest stomach in the world and for some reason it felt like if I showed it, that would somehow also show my damagedness. Like my cancer would just show on my body. It was stupid, I knew, but that’s how I felt.

“Oh-oh-okay.” I lifted up my coat ever so slightly so only the waistband of my skirt showed and not any other part of my body. Then I did a little spin.

“Okay, boss lady, you’re free to go.” Gabe ushered me inside behind the bubbly Betsy and her friend.

The common room was packed with people, shoulder-to-shoulder as music blared from some unknown source. The minute I entered the room the heat radiating off everyone surrounded me and I felt like I had to gasp for air. Most everyone was in green and using that as an excuse to grope the person next to them. I was glad I didn’t wear green. Even though I wasn’t sure what color I would have worn if I didn’t tell John I was wearing white. Were we together? Was I supposed to wear red? I guess I could have worn my yellow band shirt from high school that I embarrassingly still kept around even though it was stained beyond belief.

I already lost Betsy in the sea of people, which was fine with me. I didn’t exactly want to hang out with her or have to answer any more questions about me and John. Questions that I didn’t have the answer to.

“Hey, Red!” I spun around, hoping to see John in the crowd, but instead it was his little brother, Short Stack. He had a big grin on his face and was wearing an oversized green tuxedo t-shirt and white baseball cap backwards over his curly mop of hair.

“Hey, Short Stack. Nice shirt.”

He laughed. “Yeah, it’s John Boy’s. I didn’t have anything green, so he said I could wear this.”

“Speaking of John, have you seen him? I just got here, but I don’t see him anywhere.” I tried to appear cool about it, but really I was afraid that I wouldn’t actually find him and would just get felt up by some random dude. Well, if he could feel me up over the giant coat that I was sweating in.

Short Stack put his hand on his chin as if he was deep in thought. “Not lately. Last time I saw him he was upstairs. I could take you up there to find him, if you want.”

“I think I can handle going up the stairs myself.” I went to turn away, but then Short Stack grabbed my arm.

“Actually, you can’t. Not without an Alpha Mu escort. The upstairs is off limits.”

I raised an eyebrow. “But I was up there the other night?”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t a real party, just a kick back. Besides, you were with John Boy. Now come on. I don’t have all day.” He pulled me forward and reluctantly I pushed through the crowd with him until we were at the stairs.

Another guy sat at the bottom of the staircase, with a coffee table blocking it. He didn’t smile when he saw us and kicked his combat boots up on the table, running a hand through his overly gelled hair. “Can I help you?”

Short Stack smiled. “Hey, Deuce, me and Melanie just want to go upstairs and look for John Boy, have you seen him?”

Deuce smirked. “You all planning on a threesome?”

Short Stack snorted. “No! Definitely not! Melanie is looking for him, so I thought I’d help her out.”

Deuce shook his head, moving the coffee table for us to get past. “Yeah, a lot of girls go looking for John Boy.”

I didn’t know what that was supposed to mean, but I tried to put it in the back of my mind and followed Short Stack up the stairs. The second floor was basically empty. A guy and a girl were in one corner whispering with his hands trailing everywhere on her body. I turned away, trying not to stare.

Short Stack turned and pounded on John’s door. “Hey John Boy! Open up!”

No answer.

He pounded again.

“Maybe he’s not in there,” I said, getting more uncomfortable the louder I heard the couple moaning behind me.

Short Stack put his ear up to the door. “No, he has to be. I hear music coming from inside.” He moved his head back and pounded his fist on the door. “If you don’t open up, I’m coming in.”

No answer, again.

“Looks like we’re going in, Red.”

Short Stack pushed open the door and I gasped when I saw what was inside. John was sitting on his desk chair, his legs spread open as a leggy brunette in a green dress moved her lithe body up and down between his legs, tossing her hair back and forth to the music. At first I thought they were going at it, then I saw that John’s clothes were still on and she was dancing. John was getting a freaking lap dance.

“What the hell, John Boy?” Short Stack yelled.

The girl didn’t even stop her grinding, but John pushed her to the side, peering over her to look at Short Stack. “Knock much?” Then his blue eyes widened when he saw me standing next to him. “Melanie?”

I could feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes. I had to get out of there. I turned and bolted for the door.

“Melanie, wait!” John yelled after me, but I couldn’t look back at him. I didn’t want to know what excuse he had. He never referred to me as his girlfriend or even his date, but I thought we had something. Maybe I was wrong.

I ran down the stairs and pushed past the coffee table, but got stuck by a group of girls waiting in line for the bathroom.

“Gawd, can you believe that coffee chick is going after John Boy?” One girl wearing a bright green halter top said to her friend.

“Yeah, I heard she stayed here the other night. Is she a charity case or something? I saw the way she was dressed. Maybe it’s part of their philanthropy,” the friend said and they both giggled.

That was it. Enough was enough. I cleared my throat and the two girls turned toward me, the smiles disappearing from their faces, replaced with looks of disgust. I wanted to say something. To set them straight, but instead I just pushed through them and made my way to the door.

The November night air was a welcome greeting and I took in a deep breath before I pulled my phone out of my pocket, typing in the first number I could think of.

“Hey Monica, are you busy?”

* * *

Monica had practically moved into Trey’s apartment, so I knew she would be there, even before she told me that’s where she was. It was a few blocks from the Alpha Mu house, but it felt like the longest walk of my life.

Monica and Trey lived in The Pines luxury apartments. They were supposed to be luxury, but I always saw peeling paint in their rooms and the hallways were cement that made it easier to hear loud, drunken people running down the halls. Which was what a guy was doing at that moment. Luckily he didn’t bother me and was too busy running and singing some random Madonna song. College. All the weirdoes came out.

I finally got to Trey’s door and only had to knock once before Monica answered, wearing an over sized t-shirt and a pair of shorts. “Melanie! What the hell happened?”

My eyes grazed over her outfit. “Am I interrupting something? I can come back.”

She shook her head and pulled me into the apartment, closing the door behind us. “No, me and Trey were just catching up on the DVR.”

I’d only been in Trey’s apartment once and it was the same layout as everyone else’s in the building, but his was professionally decorated. The old couch and chair were replaced by a plush, leather sofa on the back wall with a large picture of the Chicago skyline hanging over it. A matching love seat sat adjacent to it, and instead of the bulky big screen TV, a flat screen was mounted on the wall with small speakers on either side. Maroon curtains were drawn over the patio doors, and the room was lit by a few lamps on some dark wood end tables on each side of the couch.

I didn’t see Trey anywhere. I guessed he was probably in his bedroom, giving us some privacy or something.

Monica sat on the couch. “Okay, sit and spill. You don’t just call a girl at eleven o’clock and say you need someone to talk to without it being something big.”

I sat down, the leather sofa molding around my body like butter. It was way more comfortable than the thing Monica had to sit on in her apartment. Even more comfortable than my Craigslist couch. I should have gotten the name of Trey’s decorator.

“Okay, so I was stupid and went to a party at the Alpha Mu house, because John invited me.”

Monica rolled her eyes. “Ugh, the stoplight party?”

“Yeah. That one.”

She raised an eyebrow. And did he wear green?

“No.” I sighed. “He said he was going to wear black, so I made this stupid comment that I would wear white, but that’s not the point of the story.”

“Okay, sorry. I’ll stop interrupting.” She blinked hard and stared at me.

I glanced down at my fingers, unsure if I could actually look at her when I told her what happened. She warned me that he was a manwhore. I should have listened to her. Even when she said it was fine to date him, she probably didn’t mean it. She wasn’t being a bitch. She knew this would happen. “So, I went to the party, like I said and his little brother—“

“Short Stack?” Monica interrupted.

I looked up at her and she held up her hands. “Sorry, I know interrupting.”

“Yes. Short Stack. He took me upstairs to find John.” I let out a deep breath and recounted the rest of it very quickly, everything from hearing the music, to the brunette, and running out of the house with John yelling after me.

When I was done Monica stared at me with her eyes wide. “That little prick. I can’t believe he would do that to you.”

“Obviously some people didn’t believe he should be with me.”

Monica shook her head. “Look, what I said about you and him before, it was because I didn’t want you to get hurt. Not because I didn’t think you were good enough for him.”

“No, not you.” I picked at the skin under my fingernails for something to do with my hands. “Some girls at the party didn’t know I was there and were talking about me. Saying that they didn’t know what a guy like John was doing with me and making fun of the way I dress and such.”

Monica furrowed her eyebrows. “Who were these girls?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Just some random party girls that were waiting in line for the bathroom.”

Monica put her hands on mine, stopping my fingers from moving. “Then why does it matter what they think? They’re nobody.”

She was right, of course. It shouldn’t matter what some random girls that I didn’t know thought of me. Yet I did care and I cared even more that some random girl was giving John a lap dance.

“It’s just...I thought we had something.”

Monica rubbed her arms up and down her legs. “Seriously, every time I’ve seen John Boy he has been with a different girl. He’s not the settling down type. You don’t need someone like that in your life if he’s just going to bring you down.”

“But I do need him.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Why? Why would you need a guy? Unless you went to Student Health Services and you already know that you’re carrying a little John Boy bun in your oven.”

I felt the tears prick my eyes. It was now or never that I had to be honest with Monica. “No, that’s the problem. I did go to Student Health Services to get an exam.” I looked her right in the eye, my vision blurring with tears. “They found cancer cells on my cervix. I was at John’s when I got the call.”

Monica gasped, putting her hands over her mouth. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry! When did you find out?” She put her hands down.

“Student Health Services called and told me on Wednesday. I had to go to a doctor here in town yesterday to get a biopsy done and John took me. Then afterwards we watched Harry Potter and he made me cheesecake.”

Monica shook her head. “I don’t know what part of that statement confuses me more. That he took you to the doctor or that he baked for you.”

I sniffled. “Yeah, that’s what confused me too. I thought we had something. But now I’m afraid he just did all of that because he felt sorry for me. Not because he wanted to be with me.”

“Come here.” Monica held out her arms and I let my body collapse into them. I was tired of crying, but I buried my head in her shoulder and hugged her back. I needed the comfort. I needed to finally let all of the feelings inside of me come to the surface.

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