The Spanish Bride

4

During the afternoon of the 20th September, the Iphigenia anchored off Spithead, and pretty soon the rumour that there were three officers aboard her, bringing home dispatches from the Chesapeake, began to circulate through Portsmouth. A Naval Captain, and two military Staff-officers, one of them apparently a sick man, came ashore in the Captain’s gig, and went to the George Inn. The news reached the ears of one Mr Meyers, general agent, tailor, and outfit-merchant to the army: that gentleman meditatively bit the tip of one finger, announced mysteriously to the wife of his bosom that there might be a little profit in the news, and sallied forth to nose out the names of the officers at the George. He found that they had already bespoken a chaise-and-four to carry them to London. ‘I wonder who they are?’ he said invitingly.

The landlord knew exactly who they were. ‘Captain Wainwright of the Tonnant; Captain Smith, attached to General Ross; and Captain Falls of the 20th,’ he replied. ‘Ah!’ said Mr Meyers, brightening. ‘If it is Captain Harry Smith of the 95th, I know him. I will step into the coffee-room.’

He did so. Captain Wainwright was not there, but one military gentleman was standing by the window, holding an unmistakable box under one arm, while the other sat in a chair, wrapped in his cloak.

‘Good afternoon, sir!’ said Mr Meyers politely. ‘I am very glad to see you safely in England again. Dear me, sir, I do believe I have not laid eyes on you since I had the honour of supplying you with some necessaries to take to South America! A long time! It quite makes one think!’ Harry turned. He had a very good memory, and after frowning for a moment at Mr Meyers, his brow cleared, and he said: ‘Meyers! That’s who you are!’

‘Always at your service, sir,’ bowed Mr Meyers. ‘Hearing that you had landed from the Iphigenia-from the Chesapeake, I apprehend?-I took the liberty of coming to pay my respects.’

‘Devilish civil of you!’ said Harry, alert with suspicion.

He encountered an absurdly roguish look. ‘That little box under your arm contains, I see, dispatches,’ suggested Mr Meyers.

‘Well?’ said Harry. ‘What of that?’

“If,’ said Mr Meyers coaxingly, ‘you will tell me their general import, whether good news or bad, I will make it worth your while. Your refit, now! An expensive business, sir, as I well know.’

‘I’ll see you damned first!” exclaimed Harry, controlling a strong desire to knock his visitor down. ‘Of what use, pray, would such general information be to you?’ “I could get a man on horseback to London two hours before you,’ replied Mr Meyers, in a persuasive tone. ‘Good news or bad on ’Change is my object. Now do you understand, sir?’

‘Perfectly!’ said Harry. ‘And when I return to America I shall expect a capital outfit from you for all the valuable information I have afforded you! Good-bye, Meyers!’ Not, apparently, in the least put out of countenance, Mr Meyers bowed himself out. ‘Well, if that don’t beat all!’ said Tom Falls. ‘Old Fox! Do you mean to get to London tonight?’

‘By Jupiter, I should just think I do! That is, if you can stand the journey?’ ‘Oh lord, don’t worry about me! I shall do very well. What a curst thing this dysentery is!’ Ten minutes later, Captain Wainwright, bearing naval dispatches for my Lords at the Admiralty, came back to the inn; and by five o’clock he, Harry, Tom, and West were bowling out of Portsmouth on the London road in a post-chaise-and-four.

‘I wish to God I hadn’t come in the same chaise with you!’ said Wainwright, when Harry let down the window to shout to the post-boys to drive faster. “There’s no need to crowd all sail, you young madman!’

‘Oh, but there is!’ Harry said, drawing up the window again, and showing his companions a thin, burnt face in which his narrow eyes seemed to be on fire with impatience. ‘My wife, Wainwright, my wife!’

Captain Wainwright caught at an arm-sling to steady himself as the chaise bounced over a shocking patch in the road. ‘To be sure, yes! Is she in London?’

‘I don’t know,’ said Harry. ‘I parted from her in Bordeaux, four months ago! I don’t know where she is, whether she’s well, or-or alive, even!’

Wainwright could see no reason for supposing that Juana should be either unwell or deceased, but as it was plainly useless to expect the least degree of rational thought from Harry, he attempted no argument, but merely grunted, and said that he fully expected the chaise to lose a wheel before they had accomplished as much as half their journey. This gloomy prophecy was not fulfilled, but by the time the chaise had reached Liphook, a couple of hours later, Wainwright, bitterly regretting that no accident had befallen them, climbed stiffly down at the Anchor Inn, and announced his irrevocable intention of partaking of supper.

‘We shan’t have above another hour of daylight,’ objected Harry.

‘My abominable young friend, here’s where I haul to. Damme, if I don’t spend the night here!’

‘Oh, sir, don’t say that! Think of your precious dispatches!’ Harry begged. ‘Who’s going to read dispatches in the middle of the night? Stop fidgeting about, or I will sleep here!’

Harry’s face of scarcely curbed impatience, however, touched the Captain’s heart, and after consuming a quantity of bread-and-butter, and several cups of tea with plenty of good English cream in it, he consented to resume the journey to town.

‘I must say, I wish you wouldn’t insist on driving so fast,’ he remarked, not with any hope of being attended to, but in a tone of resignation. ‘After the scenes we’ve witnessed, I like to feast my eyes on a placid countryside.’

‘By God, and so do I,’ Harry responded quickly. ‘No burning villages, no starving, wretched peasants! I have had seven years of that The excitement bears a soldier happily through it all, but this makes one realize the damnable, accursed thing war is!’ ‘No burning citadels either,’ murmured Tom from his corner.

The two soldiers exchanged fleeting glances. Wainwright said: ‘Well, I didn’t order that!’ ‘No. But if it hadn’t been for Ross, your precious Admiral Cockburn would have destroyed the whole of Washington!” said Harry.

Wainwright grunted, and the conversation lapsed.

When the daylight faded, the pace had to be slackened, but the moon presently rose, and once more the post-boys were bidden to spring ’em. Captain Wainwright, remarking that he would rather be beating off a leeshore in a gale with the tide against him than travelling in Harry’s company, wedged himself into his corner, shut his eyes, and remained dead to human intercourse until the chaise drew up in Downing Street. He took leave of the two younger men there, and made off to the Admiralty. The chaise was paid off, Falls insisting that he was quite well enough to walk to a coffee-house; Harry lodged his dispatches; West picked up the portmanteaux; and they all three set off to find a suitable lodging for the night. As it was by this time past midnight, the quest was not easy. Every inn near Downing Street was full; and Harry, fearing that Tom’s state of health was not good enough to permit of his walking about town any longer, was considering the advisability of calling up a hackney, when they came upon the Salopian Coffee-house, in Parliament Street. It looked to be a clean, comfortable place, but the waiter who met them said that he was very sorry, there was only one spare bedroom: nothing more!

‘Oh, plenty!’ said Harry. ‘All we want is an hour or two’s sleep!’ The waiter looked doubtful, but he handed them over to a chambermaid. ‘Only one room, sir!’ said this damsel.

‘Plenty!’ declared Harry.

‘But, gentlemen, only one bed!’

‘Plenty!’ said Tom, with the croak of a laugh.

So up they went, West following with the portmanteaux and, finding the one bed well furnished with blankets, proceeded, under the scandalized eyes of the chambermaid, to haul half the clothes on to the floor.

‘But what are you doing, sir!’ she demanded, trying to rescue a chintz-quilt from this fate. ‘Making a second bed,’ replied Harry. ‘Be off with you, there’s a good girl!’ ‘But you can’t sleep on the floor, sir!’

‘Can’t I, by Jupiter! I’ve done so for seven years!’ said Harry, setting his hands on her shoulders, and running her out of the room.