The Tantric Principle

Chapter Eight

Grant sat in his living room. He had a good brood going, and the music playing in the background only added to his mood. Frank Sinatra sang about being stupid and saying I love you. He raised his glass of vodka on the rocks and gave Old Blue Eyes a toast. The singer had lost his lady loves one at a time yet still lived to a ripe old age. Grant knew he was done. Arianna Devlin had ruined him for any other woman. The ones to come after her would only be plagiarized versions of a brilliant Picasso or gleaming diamond. Just dogs playing poker or paste.

The thought almost made a strangled laugh rise to his lips. Almost. He sipped his vodka and wondered what the hell was going on. He’d had break ups before. When his wife left, it took a while to get back his stride, but he’d never missed his morning meditations or practices. He was going on day three without meditating. He’d given evening class to his assistant because he couldn’t bear the thought of watching the door and waiting for Arianna to arrive.

He missed her throaty laugh and dirty truck driver language. He missed her wicked grins and hearty appetite and constantly beeping smart phone. He missed her energy and her passion.

He was so screwed.

The ice clanked against the heavy cut glass as he drained his drink. It was done. She’d move to Chicago and he needed to keep living his life. His school was his mainstay and spirit.

He needed to get his head out of his ass and concentrate on making the program better.

Tomorrow, he’d begin meditation again and commit fully to his practice. Maybe a juice fast would help cleanse both his body and his mind. He got up from the couch and went to bed.

The noise put him on full alert.

Grant sat up in bed, his gaze narrowing in on the doorway. The apartment seemed quiet, but something was off. Something had wakened him. His senses sharpened, and his ears strained for a sound of an intruder. Nothing. Yet, the room smelled differently. A lingering scent of Arianna filled the air, probably from his dreams. Mingled vanilla and spicy musk that drenched her skin and made his senses weep.

He shook off the thought and the urge to turn on the light. Only a dream. He settled back on the pillow.

Then saw her.

She stood in the doorway of his bedroom, silent as a ghost. The moonlight trickling through his window threw her into sharp silhouette. His breath literally choked in his throat, as if a hammer had swung and struck his chest.

Arianna.

She wore a high push up black lace bra. He caught the glimpse of ruby red nipples poking out of the sheer front, easily discerned in the weak light. Her smooth, vanilla skin gleamed. A wisp of a black thong barely covered the juncture between her thighs. High black heels emphasized the length of her legs and the perfect curve of her ass.

A sexy smile pouted her lips as she leaned against the door frame with a lazy satisfaction and watched him. A pair of black handcuffs swung from her plum colored fingernails. Her hips were thrust at an angle, giving him a good look at her naked tummy and high, pointed breasts, spilling out of the tight lace.

Grant felt himself grow hard immediately, rising to lengths he didn’t know he’d ever achieved. His heart stopped, then began pounding. He tried to speak but only found himself uttering one word like a question. “Arianna?”

She pushed herself away from the door and slowly walked into his bedroom. She paused beside the mahogany posted bed, the cuffs dangling in her grasp. She licked her lips deliberately and leaned over. Her breasts were in view of his eyes and he gulped like a sixteen year old seeing his first stripper.

“Hi, Grant.” His name rolled off her tongue as if tangled in smoke. “Have you missed me?”

Like breath, and taste and touch and sight. Instead, he only nodded. Then watched as she climbed up on the mattress beside him. She settled herself on all fours, her buttocks a perfect arc and bare to his gaze, lifted upward as if just waiting for him to enter her. As he was distracted, she clipped one end of the handcuffs to the post on the headboard. Tested the strength by pulling the velvet rope. Then reached for his hand. Her fingers fluttered through his like a delicate tease, and he heard the definitive click of the cuffs as one wrist was securely fastened.

Grant shook his head in an effort to clear it. Was this some sort of mirage or dream? How much vodka had he drunk? The thought disappeared as the reality of her scent and feel of her skin slid around him.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Seducing you.” Her words shot through his brain like an immediate aphrodisiac. He grew harder and pushed against the constraints of his boxers in discomfort. She lowered herself over him, her hair brushing against his cheek as a second set of cuffs were suddenly clicked to his right hand. Grant realized in a flash both hands were competently chained and he couldn’t move.

Unease trickled down his spine. “But I thought you were in Chicago.” She shushed him by laying one finger over his lips. “No talking about Chicago or anything else. Tonight, I want to concentrate on tantra.” His unease deepened. “What do you mean?”

She shook her hair out and laughed like a Greek goddess about to play with a god. “I mean, you always got to explore the limits of your control, but I never did. It’s my turn.”

“Arianna—”

“Relax and enjoy the ride, baby. I intend to.”

His words came back to haunt hm. And then there was no more thinking because she lowered her head and claimed his mouth.

Heat assaulted him at all angles. Her hair tickled his cheeks, her scent of musk rose to his nostrils. She gave him a full blown kiss with tongue and teeth, licking at his lips and stroking his mouth in a repetition of her gently moving hips. She straddled him on the bed, with his erection pressed against her scrap of black lace that covered her pussy. She teased him by moving her hips in mockery of her lips and tongue so his whole body began to tense and rise to the bait.

Arianna pulled away and dropped gentle kisses over his face, down his neck. Then bit hard.

He moaned.

“Feel good?” she whispered naughtily, her hands coasting over his bare chest and massaging his muscles. “Because this is only the beginning. I’m going to make you come so hard you’re going to reach heaven. And then I’m going to do it again. And again.” Jesus, he was going to die tonight. Grant pulled at the restraints and suddenly feared getting out of control. What if he couldn’t be in command of his emotions? What if he couldn’t guarantee her pleasure? The old fears rose up like twisted snakes and seethed inside of him.

Deep down, he realized he was afraid of this woman. Afraid she would push him beyond his safe boundaries and demand he give everything. Both physically and emotionally.

After his ex-wife left, he realized he needed to save a bit of himself or he may never recover from another emotional assault. Yoga and tantra helped with the control. Helped him stay hidden. Arianna pushed and challenged, but as long as he had led in the bedroom, he’d been safe.

Tonight, he was safe no longer.

“Baby, untie me. I want to touch you, too. I missed you so much.” She laughed again like a witch as she pulled just out of reach. “Don’t think so. Now stop talking.”

Her head dipped again and she was licking at his nipples, testing the hard muscles in his chest she had just massaged. Down to his belly button to dip into the slight indentation. He hissed out a breath when those fingers suddenly reached the edge of his boxers and lingered.

Grant waited for her to rip them off and get right to it, but that would have been granting mercy.

Instead, she gently explored his pulsing length against the thin cotton, stroking so gently he thought he would go mad with anticipation.

Then put her full mouth against him and blew.

His hips shot up. She licked him through the cotton, dampening the fabric as she ran her teeth gently over the ridges of his cock. Inch by inch, she dragged the waistband downward, exposing another expanse of bare flesh and licking him, stroking him, making him—

“Arianna.” Her name stumbled from his lips, an attempt at a command, and she soothed him with low murmuring sounds that raked across his fogged ears.

“Slow, we’re going slow.” She used his words ruthlessly on him, and Grant realized he had never felt as vulnerable as he did right now, completely at her mercy and on the verge of begging her to finish what she’d started. The fabric finally came down and she discarded his boxers with a quick toss.

He waited for the feel of her wet mouth on his flesh. Waited. Waited.

She rose up, straddling his thighs. With slow motions, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. Her glorious breasts spilled out, the ripe mounds crowned with ruby red nipples, pointed and hard. She tossed the bra aside. Then she began running her fingers over herself, massaging her breasts, tweaking her nipples. She moaned at her self pleasure and all the while he gritted his teeth and made bargains with God to do anything for the chance to touch her.

“What do you want?”she asked. She wet her two fingers and put them to her nipples, making them gleam in the moonlight.

His voice was hoarse with strain. “I want to touch you.” She leaned down and swung her breasts in front of his face. With a moan, she allowed him suck on her nipples with his tongue. Her skin was warm, her nipples hard and silky like red cherries, and she moaned in pleasure. Minutes later, she pulled away, and he felt as if he had lost a part of himself.

“Back to business.” Arianna bent over once again, her fingers cupping his erection. She slowly rubbed up and down, exploring each ridge, gently caressing the sensitive tip where a bead of liquid had leaked. “Talk to me, Grant,” she whispered, her breath fanning his cock. “Tell me.” He cursed fluently then said the words. “Take me in your mouth. Goddamnit, right now.” Her mouth opened and she took him in. Wet, silky heat closed around him and moved, the suction so perfect he felt himself lift unconsciously and give her more. His thoughts a jumble of images, caught in a storm of sexual frenzy and feeling, he gave himself over to her and let her pleasure him. Tighter and tighter the tension spiraled. His fists gripped the post helplessly as he tongue massaged him and sucked him. He cried out as he came inside of her mouth, pushed over the edge of control. He arched under her as he exploded, and she took it all, her mouth gentling as she soothed him in his aftermath.

He didn’t know how much time had passed. His body lay weak against the tangled sheets, her head resting on his thighs, her coppery hair spread in glory over his pelvis. Grant waited for air while he floated, unsure of what had just happened. She slid up his body and tucked her chin against her chest, her leg hooked over his.

And Grant felt like he was finally home.

Their breathing evened out and softly mingled. Finally, he managed to form actual words.

“And the student surpasses the teacher. Am I dead?”

She laughed. “Not yet. But the night’s not over.”

He dropped a kiss on her head and wondered how the hell he’d gotten through two full weeks without her. Then realized he really hadn’t. He had just been going through the motions.

“We need to talk, baby. I’m so sorry about what happened. Untie me so I can finally touch you.” Her response practically stunned him. “We’re not talking tonight, Grant. I still haven’t had my lesson.”

“What lesson?”

“Tantra.” She rolled over and on top of him. Her naked breasts pressed into his chest, and her smooth legs entwined with his. Amazingly, he felt himself stir.

“I think you rocked the lesson,” he managed to force out.

She smiled. Wicked and tempting as Eve herself in full naked glory, she shook her head in mock discipline. “That wasn’t tantra. That was you getting a lesson in control, or rather, learning to not be in control. Tantra is about harnessing your sexual energy, about connecting so deeply with your partner you become one. It’s about giving pleasure to the extreme in a slow, steady pace. Now, let’s begin.”

Grant swore he didn’t feel panic, but it was something very close. He tried to get off the bed but she pushed him down while she laughed. Then her mouth took his.

Once again, she sank into the kiss with a deep, steady rhythm that gave him no choice but to follow. She owned him with slow, easy thrusts of her tongue. She killed him with caressing, talented fingers as she explored every ridge and muscle. She dug her fingernails deep into his ass and scraped down over the back of his thighs and then took him back in her mouth.

He cursed fluently. So gently she licked him, allowing him to grow hard again at his own pace with no thought of rushing. When he was finally rock hard again, she climbed on top, parted her legs, and pushed his cock into her wet pussy.

Stars exploded behind his eyes as he was enclosed by her heavenly tight heat. She took him deep and rode him slow, setting an easy pace that he ached to demolish. Her hair fell down her back, her eyes half shut in drunken pleasure as she lifted up and down, up and down, until. . ..

She slid off him right before the explosion. “Not yet, baby, you’re not ready,” she whispered in his ear. She bit his earlobe, then soothed with her tongue. All the while, she kept up an array of dirty talk as her hands cupped, stroked and massaged his scrotum, his ass, his penis.

He closed his eyes to focus on control, but it was long gone, her laughter ringing in his ears as he threw pride to the wind and begged for her mercy.

Suddenly, she was on him again, sliding over his cock buried to the hilt in her silken heat.

Her green eyes blazed with passion and demand as she grasped his hips. “Now I’m going to make you come again. Come inside of me, Grant.”

She moved.

Arianna took him on a wild ride of sexual pleasure and torment, stopping when he was at the edge to briefly suck on him again, then sliding back again. Time passed, then stopped.

Broken pleas came from his lips until she quickened the pace, her breath coming in hard ragged pants, and he felt himself climbing up, almost there and he came hard and exploded inside of her.

He gave it all, control and thought and planned seduction all shot to hell. And he didn’t give a shit. Grant wondered if he would ever care about anything else in his life other than having this woman as his wife, in his bed and in his life.

He was barely aware of her shuddering above him in her own climax, then sinking back down, her skin slightly damp.

Then he had his own epiphany, naked in bed with the woman he loved.

He was a complete ass.

She loved him. She had asked him to accept her choice, to be there for her when she chose him over a career she loved. Instead, in his arrogance and ego, he had turned his back on her offer, smug in his superiority and martyrdom. He was no martyr. He was just scared shitless of allowing her to choose him over work. He never wanted to be put into that position, and put his own fears on Arianna.

The irony was almost comical. He wanted her to stay, and she was ready to give him her whole self. Instead, he threw the offer back in her face so he could be alone with his lousy pride.

Grant prayed it wasn’t too late.

“Stay.” He pulled his restrains to the limit and was able to tangle his fingers in her hair to force her to look at him. Green eyes still drugged halfway with pleasure, she looked deep into his eyes and he let her see it all. “I love you. I was an ass. I see that now. I’m asking you to stay.” The clock ticked.

He waited.

Then she pulled away and got off the bed. She dressed with quick economic motions and stood beside him. Trapped by the handcuffs, he watched helplessly. When she finally turned back, one tear ran down her cheek.

Grief shattered through him.

“I didn’t do this for revenge or to show you what you’ve been missing. I wanted to give you what you’ve given me over the last few months. Pleasure. Intimacy. You opened my eyes to something new, and you made my body reach heights I don’t think I’ll ever experience again. I needed you to see what I feel for you every time you took me in your arms. But you wouldn’t let me. This was the only way I knew to reach you.” She paused. Then her voice came out in a ravaged whisper. “It’s too late. I made promises. I have an apartment and a new life. I would have done anything if you had just given me a sign. Just. . . ” She trailed off and dashed her hand across her cheek in frustration. “I love you. I will always love you, Grant Madison. But I can’t stay.”She reached down and tossed a tiny key on the bed next to him. Then left.

By the time Grant had unlocked himself and raced outside, she was already gone.

The team assembled in the conference room to hear the day’s stats. Her earpiece hooked securely over her ear, Arianna paced and gave a list of orders for the Rosebud Account. They were going after Victoria’s Secret and it was going to be a war. One she intended on winning.

Her gaze swept the room. Six people, four men, two women, sat waiting for instruction. It had taken a while to bond, but after the last three weeks of late nights and weekends, she felt as if they were almost a second family.

As creative director, she was in charge of the entire account for the Superbowl ad. They’d just secured a killer supermodel for the shoots, an edgy new Hip Hop artist for the music, targeting the twenty-something woman who wanted to rock her man’s world.

This was no Playtex woman and Arianna was committed one hundred percent to the project. Her job pretty much depended on it. She loved that her team was completely dedicated also, and their ability to hustle showed in the work.

A beep sounded in her ear and she pushed the button. “Yes?”

“You have someone waiting in your office.”

She blew out an impatient breath. “Kathy, I’m in a meeting, no time. Who is it?” The receptionist paused. “He wouldn’t give a name. Just said it was urgent and he’d wait in your office. I think it’s personal.”

Her heart paused, then continued beating. Of course, it wouldn’t be him. Arianna squashed the thought like a creepy spider and cursed her unconscious. Damnit, she had something good going on here. She’d walked away with her head held high and a broken heart, but she was healing. Except at night, when he invaded her dreams like a blood sucking vampire.

At least she had the daytime under her strict control. Until something stupid like this came up.

An unknown visitor, and suddenly images of chick flick movies and airport “I love you's” rummaged through her head.

“Fine, I’ll be there in minute.” She clicked off. “Guys, let’s take a break, I have someone in my office.” She threw out some orders and marched down the hall, nodding to some of the other employees as she made her way through the building.

She loved Chicago. The fast pace was close to New York, and the creative energy of the satellite firm was off the charts. Her conference calls with her boss were positive. The buzz on the business street confirmed she was good at her job and began to earn the respect of the upper executives. She nodded to her secretary as she opened the door to her office. She closed it behind her.

And came face to face with Grant.

God, he looked good. He stood in the corner of the room, looking over her photos and ads displayed on the wall. Lean legs clad in tight, worn jeans. A white button down shirt, left open at the neck, rolled up at the sleeves, displayed sinewy, muscled arms made rock solid by doing over a hundred pushups per day. Her gaze greedily swept his length, settling on his face. His hair was tied back in a long ponytail. His features always struck her as too hard to be classically attractive, but the harnessed masculine energy reflected in the gleam of onxy eyes, and sculpted mouth threw handsome right in the trash basket.

He turned and looked at her, seemingly relaxed and at ease. The last night they’d spent together flashed through her mind. Raw sex and intimacy for long hours. The images would never leave her. She didn’t think another man could ever wipe the last vestige of him coming inside of her, finally free of his control and belonging completely to her.

Yet she had left. It had been too late.

Arianna kept her voice neutral and prayed for strength. “To say this is a surprise is an understatement. Hello, Grant. Welcome to Chicago.”

His gaze probed hers, then shifted to sweep over her face and body in a sensual caress, as if she still belonged to him. “Hello, Arianna. You look wonderful.” She shrugged. Her designer charcoal suit was conservatively cut for business, but he seemed more interested in the swell of her breasts and the glimpse of her legs clad in high heels.

The same heels she had worn that night.

“Thank you. What can I do for you?”

He ignored the question and took a seat, relaxing back in the leather chair as if they had all the time in the world for a chat. “How do you like Chicago?” She clamped down on her impatience and swore she could play the game as well as he.

“Love it. Fast paced environment and a great creative team.”

“So, you’re happy.”

She forced a smile. “Yes, I’m happy.”

“I’m glad.”

He sat back in the chair, watching her. Arianna used her breathing techniques just as he had taught her, but she was swiftly going to lose it. The polite façade slipped.

“What are you doing here, Grant?”

He smiled. “I knew it wouldn’t take you long to get to the punch line.” She rested her hands on her hips. “I have no more time to play games. I have to get back to work, and I’m not sure what this little visit is supposed to prove.”

“That I love you.”

Arianna flinched. She wished she had a bullet proof vest for that remark. “I can’t do this anymore.” She turned to go, but he crossed the room and stopped her. His fingers closed around her hands and he deliberately pushed the door closed, his chest pressed against her back, strong thighs hooked around hers. His breath stirred against her ear.

“I can’t, either. You were right to leave, Arianna. I screwed up and I’ll never forgive myself. But I won’t let that happen again. I’m asking you to give me another chance.” She turned in a fury. “Oh, now you’re into long distance relationships? It’s too late, Grant. Are we going to fly back and forth on weekends? Have phone sex? I don’t think I’ll ever get over you, but I’m going to give it a hell of a try.” He cupped her face with his hands. She gazed into eyes full of love and heat and want.

Her breaths caught at the evident emotions on his face. He dropped a gentle kiss onto her lips, softly kissing her with a humbleness that made her weep. His soft growl raked across her ears.

“Ask me to stay.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I sold the school. I’m saying I packed up my apartment and found one right here. I’m saying I’ve already looked into possible locations to build a yoga school in Chicago.” Arianna shook her head, his words causing a ray of sharp hope and soul ripping fear to slash through her. “No, you can’t be serious. I can’t let you do that.”

“It’s not about you. I understand now, Arianna. I didn’t let you make your choice, but I’m asking you to let me make mine. I want you in my life. I can build another school, find another place to live. I can’t find another you.”

His grip tightened on her. His eyes blazed with a fierceness that zapped the air around them. “Ask me to stay.”

The road forked before her. Grant Madison had ripped up his roots and travelled to Chicago, willing to give up everything for her. She now held his choice in her hands, as once he had held hers. Shaking with the force of her emotions, she closed her eyes as her instinct and logic battled.

What if their relationship didn’t work? Would he forgive her? Would he forgive himself?

Did they have enough between them to foster each other through work ambitions and a new environment?

She opened her mouth to ask him the same questions.

But she knew the answers.

She kissed him. Her mouth over his, sipping at those carved lips, drowning in the delicious taste of man and soap and a hint of coffee, their tongues mating with slow thrusts as the room around them drifted away.

“Stay with me, Grant.” She clung hard to him, her face and eyes and heart an open book.

“I love you. I love who you are and who I am when I’m with you. I love your passion with your students and your need to be a better man. I want you to stay and build a life with me here.” He took her mouth and kissed her, holding her tight as the familiar heat wrapped around them. He gave a shout of laughter and swung her around the office.

“I knew you were trouble the first time you walked into my studio,” he said, his face buried in her hair.

“I knew you were trouble the first time you told me to breathe.” She couldn’t stop kissing him, addicted to the taste of the man she loved. “It’s going to be a long haul for both of us. My new job. Your new school.”

“I’ll bring you picnic lunches,” he said.

“We’ll make love in the yoga studio.”

“You can test out the Rosebud lingerie on me.”

A joyous laugh escaped her. “Thank God for tantra. I intend to keep up my practices.”

“You better. We’re just getting started.”

He backed her up against the door and turned the lock. Her earpiece beeped in her ear.

“Yes, Kathy?”

“Your team is waiting in the conference room.”

She gave him a wicked grin. “Tell them I need another ten minutes.” She pressed the button, grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him down to the floor.

“Never underestimate the power of a quickie,” he groaned out, then covered his mouth with hers.