The Widows of Wichita County

December 6

9:53 p. m.

Howard House

Crystal Howard sat alone in the shadows of Shelby's room. The whine of machines blocked out all other sounds. She closed her eyes and dreamed of silence. The odors no longer bothered her. They were now the scent of Shelby. He had gone from having the aroma of cigars and whiskey and oil fields, to smelling of antiseptic, bleached cotton and dying flesh.

Her life with Shelby before the accident had been a roller coaster, high highs and low lows, but never boring. They would decide to fly to Dallas over breakfast, or have a party at sundown. No matter what the whim, their days and nights were exciting and unpredictable.

Now, there was a sameness about each day that made her want to scream. With all the people in the house, it was important to follow a timetable, but she had become a slave to it.

She dressed by seven so she could spend time with Shelby before the office staff from Howard Drilling arrived downstairs at eight-thirty. Then, as the day passed with one business crisis after another, she would run up and down the stairs. Making sure the nurses gave Shelby his medicine.

Checking to see if he was awake. Delivering messages. Asking advice. The oil game dripped into her blood. The excitement, the gamble.

The evenings were the only quiet time for her. Months ago she would have passed the time watching TV, but now, sitting beside Shelby while he slept was her only relaxation_

"Crystal?" Shelby whispered with a scratchy voice that doctors said would never heal. "You still here?"

She moved to his bedside. "I'm still here, darling."

"What time is it?"

"A little before ten."

His hand covered hers. As days went in Shelby's life, this had been a good one. He had not almost died.

"You need to get some sleep, baby."

"I was just making sure you were resting quietly. I'll tell the nurse to wake me if you have any trouble during the night."

"Go on to bed. I'll be all right."

She leaned down and kissed his hand. "Okay. Night."

She was almost at the door when she heard him whisper, "In case I forget to tell you, baby doll, you're doing a great job. I wouldn't have made it through this without you."

He didn't see a tear roll down Crystal's face as she left the room. It was the first time he had ever complimented anything but her body.

She held her head high and walked next door to her room. As she undressed, she thought how Shelby had changed. It was almost as if he were another man behind all the scars and bandages. And tonight, he had proven it once again. He had been grateful, something the old Shelby had never been. He was grateful for her.

Crystal grinned. Helena said tragedy changes people. Stirs up their hearts, makes them realize what's important and what's not. Maybe Shelb; had found his heart.

When she sat on her side of the bed, the message machine on her private line blinked at her. Crystal punched the button.

"You're not going to believe what happened, Crystal!" Randi's voice came through loud and clear. "Frazier's Deportment Store just called. They want to add live entertainment over the holidays, and they want me to be the lead singer. Just think, Crystal, every night I'll be singing, and everyone in Nashville shops at Frazier's around Christmas. I'll be sure to get other gigs from it. And the best part is they're paying me a thousand a week plus a clothing allowance to spend in the store. Imagine that."

Randi's laughter came through the line. "My last night is the eighteenth, then I'll be heading home. Thanks for letting me borrow your car. Spread the word to the other girls. I'm on my way. I can feel it."

Crystal smiled. Randi needed a bit of good luck. She was tempted to go see if Shelby was still awake and tell him. He had always liked Randi. He used to tease about her talent, or lack of it, but he had always wished her well.

A light tapping sounded before Crystal could make up her wind. The night nurse poked her head in as she did every evening after she ran a vitals check. "Mr. Howard is resting nicely. Don't worry about him tonight."

"Thanks." Crystal liked the way the nurses from Dallas were so polite, so professional. "Good night."

She leaned back thinking of all that had happened today. One day at a time Trent was cooperating with the workings of the company. He seemed to have given up fighting with her and decided to work her to death to get her out of the way. New bids were going out every day along with more work crews than Shelby had ever kept going at one time.

Ten minutes passed. Crystal had lifted the remote from her nightstand, but hadn't bothered to click on the TV. The light tapping came again, startling her this time.

"Mrs. Howard?" The nurse opened the door a few inches. "I saw your light still on and hoped you wouldn't be asleep already. I have a phone call. Would it be all right if I took it downstairs? I won't be long."

"Sure." Crystal pulled on her robe. "I'll stay with Shelby 'til you get back."

When Crystal entered Shelby's room, she was surprised to find him awake and restless.

"Where's the night nurse?" he asked.

"She went downstairs."

"Good. I was just thinking about you."

She moved to the machines. "Is everything all right?"

"Everything is fine. Come over here," he said sounding angry and frustrated. "Closer, baby doll."

Crystal thought of the night he had tugged at her gown and made her open her top. She hesitated.

"Come here," he ordered in his low voice. "I don't bite."

She crossed to the side of his bed. "If you want me to strip, I'll do it, but I have to lock the door first. I don't want the nurse seeing me."

She closed her eyes, afraid he might say he didn't care who saw her. But he didn't say anything. Before the accident her stripping had been almost a nightly ritual. Sometimes she didn't mind, telling herself he enjoyed it, but mostly, she hated being groped, knowing the man she loved thought of her as just a body. And she hated the way he'd brag about the details of their private life to anyone who would listen.

When she looked up, he was watching her.

"I'd like…" He sounded tired. "I'd like you to lie down next to me. As close as you can get without having to touch me.

"But…"

"Just do it, Crystal."

Cautiously, she stretched out along the side of the bed as best she could. Her fingers trembled as she gripped the sheet to keep from tumbling off. There was no room for her beside him, but she tried.

"What do you want?" She forced any fear from her voice.

"I don't want to be by myself anymore. I just want to know you're next to me until I fall asleep."

Slowly, she relaxed. His breathing slowed. He made no move to touch her or demand anything.

"Thanks," he whispered just before he fell asleep.

"You're welcome," she answered just as softly.

When the nurse returned, she followed Crystal out into the hall. "You really shouldn't be…"

Crystal looked at the nurse and raised her chin slightly, ready to fight.

The nurse lowered her gaze. "Oh, never mind. If you like, Mrs. Howard, I could order a bed that's a foot wider. It wouldn't make any difference with his care, but it might make you more comfortable."

"Order it then."

The nurse smiled. "You understand it wouldn't be wise for you to fall asleep. If you rolled or swung your arm while that close to him…" She didn't have to say more, Crystal had not lived every day around him without being aware of what might happen.

"I understand. I just want to make him feel less alone."

The nurse nodded her understanding. "Good night, again, Mrs. Howard."

"Wake me if…"

"I will. Try to get some sleep."