Chapter 8 A Beautiful Disaster

For several minutes I stood where Frosty had left me, all by myself, feeling forgotten, abandoned. Finally the most unlikely source took pity on me and strode over.

“It won’t always be this hard,” Mackenzie said with a sad smile.

A show of compassion. One I didn’t deserve. Not from her. I guess she’d meant what she’d told me before, about being there for me if I needed her.

I’d find a way to make up for every bad thing I’d ever said to her.

“Here’s hoping,” I replied.

She patted my shoulder before walking away.

A few seconds later, Trina took her place. “When you’re ready, let me know and I’ll take you out to meet someone outside our little circle. You’ll have fun, I promise. It did wonders for Mac when she was in this same situation.”

I nodded, and she was off. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready.

Cole exited the locker room. He’d painted black half circles under his eyes and strapped weapons all over his body. I’d always loved seeing him like this. Strong. Ready for action. Just a little naughty, capable of any deed. Had we still been together, I would have thrown myself into his arms and kissed the breath out of him.

You know what wistful thinking gets you? A whole lot of nothing.

“What are my instructions?” I demanded.

He stopped in front of me. Avoiding my gaze, he withdrew a black bandanna from one of the pockets in his combat pants and covered my hair. “You’ll stay with Gavin and Mackenzie, and you’ll be careful.”

“Wait. What?” Frosty called from the sidelines.

Yeah. What? Frosty had led me to believe Cole would want me to be with him.

Cole frowned at him, and I think the two somehow engaged in a silent argument with their eyes.

“Can’t wait,” I said, drawing Cole’s attention back to me.

“I wish... Well, it doesn’t matter.” He rolled his shoulders, the tension back and clearly too much. “I have to be with Lucas tonight, and I have to be alone.”

Something about his tone... It was the gruff one he used whenever he spoke about his secret. He had to be with Lucas because...he was spying on him? Emma had mentioned spying.

Or was I just giving him an excuse for not wanting to patrol with me?

Ugh. I hated this. Hated that I was taking everything he said, everything he did, and dissecting it, looking for hidden meaning, trying to give myself a reason to hope for reconciliation I knew wasn’t going to happen.

Stupid. Put your hope in the right thing, and it would be a lifeline. Put your hope in the wrong thing, and it would be a noose.

“I was serious. Be careful out there.” He ghosted his knuckle across the curve of my jaw. “Stay alert.”

I stepped back, out of reach. I wasn’t sure what he’d meant by the touch—and I wasn’t going to try to figure it out. I also wasn’t allowing him to touch me like that anymore.

He frowned.

“By the way,” I said, “I saw the rabbit cloud. I’m pretty sure the zombies will be out tonight.”

His features hardened, chilled. “You tell me now, after I decide to send you on patrol?”

What, he’d thought the zombies would stay in tonight, and that was the only reason he’d opted to send me out? Anger sparked. “If you hadn’t already broken up with me, I would absolutely be breaking up with you right this second. You’re a grade-A douche bag, Cole Holland.”

“According to your grandmother, it’s douche purse. And if I’m going to do something, it’s good to know I’m giving my best,” he replied, unfazed by my insult. “You’re a great fighter, and I have no problem throwing you into the heart of battle—when you’re well—but you’re still recovering from Justin’s bite, on top of everything else. Tonight, you’ll stay in.”

I felt my hand curl into a fist. Felt my elbow draw back. Felt my arm dart forward, my knuckles crack into Cole’s jaw. I couldn’t stop myself.

His head whipped to the side, and blood leaked from a cut in his lip.

Behind me, gasps of shock abounded.

“I’m recovered,” I said. “Believe me now?”

Those violet eyes slitted when they found me. “Assault and battery is illegal.”

“So have me arrested.”

He closed what little distance there was between us. Suddenly I could feel the warmth of his breath caressing my skin, could smell the decadence of his scent, the heat of his skin. “How about I put you over my lap and spank you instead?”

“How about I knee your balls into your throat?”

“If you’re going to play with that particular area, I’d rather you use your hands.”

“My hands aren’t going near that area ever again.”

A pause. Then, “I bet I could change your mind,” he whispered huskily.

“I bet I could bash yours.” I drew back another fist, but he was ready and caught me midswing. His pupils dilated, a sign of arousal. Another sign: he began to pant. He was acting like I’d just tried to unbuckle his jeans rather than smack the fire out of him.

“Hit me again,” he said, still using that same whispered tone, “and I’ll take it as an invitation.”

I was just as bad. I trembled with longing I couldn’t control and struggled to catch my breath. “An invitation to do what?”

His grip loosened, his fingers rubbing my skin. A caress, not a warning. “I guess we’ll find out together.”

What the heck are you doing?

The words screamed inside my head. This...whatever this was—flirting?—had to stop.

I dropped my arm and stepped back, only then noticing the silence inside the barn. Were the others watching, listening? My cheeks heated. “Look, I know you stayed friends with your other exes,” I said, “and if you want to be friends with me, fine. I’ll try. I just don’t want to play this game. Understood?”

He opened his mouth, closed it with a snap. Then he nodded resolutely.

I spun away from him before I did or said something worse, and stalked to the wall of weapons. Gavin was there, weighing a semiautomatic in his hand.

“Nice right cross, Als,” he said.

Finally. A cute nickname. Why did it have to come from him? “Thanks.” I lifted an ax.

He took it from me. “Sorry, honey, but if you want a big boy’s weapon, you’ll have to fight me for it. Spoiler alert—I’ll let you restrain me on the floor as long as you’re straddling my waist.”

I think my lips were curling at the corners. “I’m not straddling you,” I muttered, selecting another, lighter ax.

“Too bad.” He reached over and pressed a button on the bottom of my weapon. It was a lever of some sort and triggered metal spikes that popped out at the sides of the blade. “Do you know how to use this thing?”

“I have an arm, and I can swing. I figure that will do the trick.”

“If you don’t get yourself killed tonight, it’ll be because of a miracle,” he said. “Good thing my middle name is Miracle.”

“You’ve seen me fight. You know I’m good.”

“True.” He bumped my shoulder with his own. “So...have you ever thought about dyeing your hair punk-rocker-chick black? As I’m sure you’ve heard, I have a thing for brunettes and always avoid blondes.”

“I’ve heard. And no.”

“Too bad. Because you’re making me rethink my stance about not doing my friends’ exes.”

I snorted, not even trying to hide my...incredulity? Surely I wasn’t amused. “You’re making me rethink my stance against cold-blooded homicide.” I didn’t wait for his reply but marched away.

Laughing, he followed me. “Are you always this on edge?”

“I didn’t used to be, no.” I sighed. “Look, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.” I tried to sit down in one of the cushioned chairs in the back of the room, but he caught my arm in a gentle vise and forced me to face him.

“First, you didn’t hurt my feelings. I doubt anyone could, considering the fact that I don’t actually have any. Second, I believe we have some unfinished business.”

I stared at his feet to avoid his gaze. Like Cole, he towered over me—which was not an easy feat. I had the legs of a giraffe.

“Cole assigned you to my team, and there’s no way we’ll be able to avoid each other. We can’t risk having a vision during a fight with the zombies.”

I nodded, but I still didn’t look at him.

He placed two fingers under my chin and forced my head to lift. “Let’s get this over with.”

No, no, no.... But I couldn’t avoid it, and our gazes locked. Annnd...nothing happened.

We both exhaled with relief.

“Well, that was certainly anticlimactic,” he muttered.

“The on-and-off thing is kind of annoying, isn’t it?” First with Cole, now Gavin.

“Maybe you need a tune-up.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll just pop into the supernatural ability repair shop sometime tomorrow.”

He grinned, his fingertips tracing the line of my jaw. A patented Cole Holland move. The contact unnerved me, and I turned away.

“Sit down,” Cole shouted. The harshness of his voice echoed off the walls.

I ignored him. It was either that, or tell him to suck it in a thousand different ways.

“Yeah, stop flirting. It sickens me,” Mackenzie said loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear. She came up beside me and winked, and I realized she’d wanted Cole to hear, probably thinking he would erupt with jealousy.

Sweet of her, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. I knew his attitude stemmed from my refusal to leave the fighting to the others.

Cole stomped past our group, viciously shouldering Gavin out of the way, and took his seat. Lucas blew me a kiss before taking his.

Frowning, Gavin sat. Mackenzie plopped into the chair next to his and motioned for me to take the one next to her.

“If there’s any hint of trouble,” Cole said to no one in particular, “I want to know about it immediately.”

“Wow. Micromanage much?” Gavin muttered.

I tuned them out and closed my eyes. I could do this. A deep breath in, hold, hold, then release, and as the air left me, my spirit rose from my body. Chilly air wrapped cruel arms around me, squeezing me.

I turned and looked down. My body still reclined against the cushions, my eyes closed, my features relaxed.

Gavin tapped me on the shoulder.

My gaze lifted to his, and I arched a brow in question.

He motioned to the door with a tilt of his chin. I nodded. Right now, as emotional as I was, I would have to be more careful than usual about what I said.

Cole moved in front of Gavin and whispered a command, his expression fierce. I was able to make out the words take care but no others.

Take care of...me?

Gavin whispered something back, and I thought I heard the word crazy.

Me again?

Or was I being just a tad narcissistic? Not everything was going to be about me.

We left the barn using the door Frosty held open for us. Blood Lines surrounded the property, the house, the barn and everything inside it. Meaning all of it was solid to our touch.

Once we entered the forest, my group branched away from Cole’s. Unable to help myself, I looked back. Cole’s gaze was already on me, watching me with confusion...longing...until he snaked the corner and the moment was lost.

I wasn’t sure what the attention meant, or if I’d misread him, or how—

I slammed into a tree, ricocheting backward and landing on my butt.

Mackenzie laughed. “That, when she can see the Blood Lines.”

“That true?” Gavin asked, helping me stand. “You can see the Blood Lines?”

“They glow,” I replied through gritted teeth. I’d deserved to be pimp-slapped by a tree, I really had. No more Cole. Just. No. More.

Intrigued, Gavin said, “So...you, a girl who has never been on patrol before, a girl who has never been shown the proper path to take, could get us out of the forest using our preferred path?”

“Watch me.” I took the lead, getting us out of the wheat fields and into the forest, maneuvering around every tree wiped with a Blood Line and ghosting through those that weren’t. Within half an hour, we cleared the foliage to stand at the edge of a dirt road. I spread my arms in a look-at-me gesture.

“Impressive,” Gavin said.

Even Mackenzie muttered her approval.

“Now what?” I asked. How much ground could we cover on foot like this?

“Now, we hunt.” He took only two steps, but suddenly he was at the end of the road.

I whipped to Mackenzie, questions poised at the edge of my tongue, but she followed Gavin, beside me one second, beside him the next. Shock beat through me. I took a step, then another, and...

I was only two steps away from where I’d started. What the heck?

I took another step, another and another, but I never gained extra ground. Frustration surpassed my shock.

“You will stop messing around,” Gavin called. “Come on.”

It was a command that did not violate my free will—I wanted to stop messing around. I stepped toward him and a second later, my surroundings blurred. A second after that, I was standing beside him.

“How did I do that?” I gasped out.

“Spirits are bound by spiritual laws, not physical,” Mackenzie explained. “Just tell your feet to dash, and hello, they will.”

“We’re hitting neighborhoods tonight,” Gavin said, pointing in the direction he wanted us to go.

He moved forward at that impossible speed, Mackenzie right behind him. I looked down at my booted feet and snapped, “You will move just as quickly!”

They obeyed, shocking me all over again. I quickly caught up with the twosome, and we soared through neighborhood after neighborhood, searching for any sign of zombie activity. I lasted one hour...two...three...before the swiftness of my movements began to take a dangerous toll.

My limbs trembled lightly at first, then more noticeably, then more violently. After a while, I was barely able to remain upright.

“Guys,” I huffed, and stopped.

A mistake.

Suddenly I could feel the heaviness of my feet and could barely maintain my grip on the ax.

I hated to admit it, but Cole and Frosty were right. Stamina was important. I needed to up my training.

Gavin slowed and turned to face me.

“Rest,” I said.

So hungry, a ragged voice whispered, claiming my attention.

I spun, but no one stood around me.

Will eat. Food will scream. Yes. Yes!

Hmm, what’s that smell? Must have.

Hard bands wrapped around my upper arms. Instinct took over, and I raised my fist to attack the culprit. I turned.

Gavin ducked, avoiding impact. Straightening, he frowned. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I—I don’t know.”

Your condition, the man in the car had said.

“The smell of rot is in the air.” Excitement bubbled in Mackenzie’s tone.

Smiling, Gavin released me. He shot a flare in the sky to alert Cole and Lucas, then palmed two daggers. “Yeah, baby. The zombies are nearby.”

I inhaled deeply, but I smelled only the pine of the trees. And...Gavin. I smelled Gavin, and it was better than the pine. It was delicious. Mouthwatering.

“You able to fight?” he asked me.

I wasn’t actually sure, wasn’t even sure I cared. I leaned into him and sniffed. Hmm. Snack time.

He looked as if he wanted to question me, but a male with a hunched back and a twisted ankle ambled from the side of a house, drawing his attention.

The zombies weren’t just nearby; they were here.

This one wore a dirty, ripped suit, and his tie was askew.

Three other zombies moseyed out behind him, and five more behind them.

Must have, must have, must have.

Mine, all mine.

Gonna be so good!

The voices stacked one on top of the other, insistent and loud. I shook my head and tugged at my ears, even as I licked my lips and stared at Gavin’s neck.

He tossed something small and black at the zombies and shouted, “Down!”

He hit the ground. Confused, I remained standing.

Boom!

A minigrenade exploded, ripping through the first line of zombies. Arms flew one way and legs another, minus the bodies. A white-hot blast of air shoved me backward. When I landed, twigs and grass and body parts rained over me.

Gavin and Mackenzie hopped up and rushed headlong into battle, hacking and slashing at the creatures still standing.

I gritted my teeth and forced myself into motion. “I can do this. I can do this.”

But...as I carved through the spine of a female zombie, she reached for Gavin, ignoring me. As I cut off the arm of another, he bit at Mackenzie, as if I wasn’t even there.

WILL TASTE.

MINE, MINE, MINE.

HURT. MAIM. KILL.

GOOD, SO GOOD.

Argh! The voices. Louder now, screaming at me. I dropped the ax to clutch at my ears. Stop. Please, stop. But they didn’t. They only grew louder. My knees gave out, and I collapsed to the ground. The zombies stepped over me, desperate to reach Gavin and Mackenzie.

What are you doing? Get up. Fight. Help your friends. You’re better than this.

Finally Pep Talk Ali, a voice of reason. Barely discernible over the noise. I palmed a dagger with a trembling hand and stood. My legs quaked, and I swayed, but I somehow found the strength to lumber forward.

Splattered in black blood, Mackenzie presented a macabre picture as she spun and sliced the throats of the three zombies attempting to latch onto her arms. Gavin jumped over a pile of headless, writhing zombies, avoiding grasping hands, to press against Mackenzie’s back.

I lifted my blade. I would help them...touch them. They glowed. Soft light pulsed from their pores. Such pretty light. Drawing me.

Mine.

I had to taste it. Them.

Taste. Yes. Mackenzie was closest, and she would be the first to feed me. I would gorge on her. She would scream, and I would laugh, because I would be full for the first time in my life.

“Ali,” she growled. “There’s one behind you!”

One...a zombie. Behind me. He didn’t care about me. Bypassed me.

But she’d warned me. To help me...the way I was supposed to help her.

So many times I’d wanted to help the people I loved, and I’d failed. My dad, my mom, my sister, my grandfather. I couldn’t fail again. I blinked, my wits returning. Realization—and horror—slammed into me. I’d come close to harming my friend.

I bit my tongue until I tasted blood, dropped the blade and backed away from her. How could I have entertained such dark thoughts?

“Ali, light up!” Cole called.

He was here. I turned, our gazes meeting. He was sprinting toward me, moving as quickly as I had done. And yet I easily tracked his movements. Could even see the concern on his face.

What if I decided to hurt him? What if I attacked him?

As much as I currently disliked him, I couldn’t take the chance.

Panicked, I ran in the opposite direction, away from Cole, from the fight, from everyone and everything. I ran and never looked back.

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