Touch of Topaz

Chapter Seven

Topaz gave John a sideways glance before looking back at the path in front of her. Her body still hummed from the kiss they’d shared in the bathroom. She couldn’t believe she’d been brazen enough to tease him about it. John brought out a side of her she hadn’t even known existed. She’d never teased a lover before, or thought about sex as something to laugh about. It was fun and liberating.

The bright sun warmed her face as they walked. The crisp air made her face tingle and the light snow covering the ground crunched beneath her boots. It was the perfect morning for a stroll. Winter was hanging on, but she could practically smell spring in the air.

The woods were quiet but they weren’t silent. Crows cawed and a squirrel scampered up the trunk of an oak tree off to their left. In the distance she could hear the distinct burble of a brook. It was so different from New York and reminded her of the simpler times of her childhood.

“Not too cold, are you?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s not that cold.” In fact, she wasn’t even wearing her gloves. They were stuffed in her pockets along with her hands. She’d wanted to reach out and take John’s hand, but she hadn’t been able to make herself do it.

It bothered her that she was unable to do such a simple thing. Why was she so afraid to reach out to him in such a simple way? She’d had no trouble making love to him last night, or early this morning. Maybe it was because their lovemaking had happened in the heat of passion. Reaching out to hold his hand seemed like more of a commitment.

God, could she be any more messed up about her feelings?

She glanced at him again and sighed. John had been quiet since they left the cabin, the easy humor they’d shared over the kiss in the bathroom gone. She wondered what was on his mind, but was afraid to ask, not wanting to ruin the beauty of the moment.

The toe of her boot caught on an exposed root and she started to fall. She threw her hands out in front to catch herself, but John stopped her descent before she’d done more than stumble. Her boots looked great on a stroll down Madison Avenue, not so practical for a walk in the woods.

“I’ve got you.” He helped her stand upright again and brushed his thumb over her cheek. “All good?”

“Yes.” There was worry in his eyes, but behind it she saw the familiar flames of desire. His leather jacket crinkled beneath her hands as she clutched his shoulders. His gaze narrowed and his nostrils flared.

She had no idea what devil inside her made her go up on her toes and kiss him. It was like baiting a bull with a red cape during a bullfight. She wanted him to lose control.

At first he stayed as still as a statue, unmoving and unresponsive to her kiss. Just as embarrassment started to creep in and she began to pull back, he caught her head between his hands and held her while he devoured her. His kiss was filled with dark passion, with relentless need. As always, her body responded readily to his touch.

She wanted him and she wanted him now.

There were no thoughts of tomorrow and what it might bring. There was only now and the heat that sizzled that arose every time they touched.

“Topaz.” Her name was a tortured whisper on his lips. His hand skated down her back to her butt. He lifted her against his erection and ground his pelvis against her.

She had to touch him, had to feel his hard, hot flesh beneath her hands. The zipper of his jacket posed no problem and she slid her hands inside, shoving it down his arms. He released her long enough for her to push it off. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and she simply thrust her hands beneath it.

His body jerked when her cool hands hit his hot skin. The man was always so warm, so irresistible to her.

While she’d been busy removing his jacket, he’d opened her coat and now slipped his hands beneath her turtleneck sweater, finding her lace-clad breasts. His fingers closed around the mounds and he moaned deep in his throat. “I love your breasts, so full, so perfect.”

He took a step forward, forcing her to move backward until her spine connected with the broad trunk of a tree. John leaned down, shoved her sweater up and covered one nipple with his mouth, sucking on it through the delicate fabric of her bra. The tight nub stood at attention, the combination of the heat from his mouth and the cool air on her skin ratcheting her arousal up a notch.

This was crazy. They were in the middle of the woods and there was still snow on the ground. Plus, they were out in public. She had no idea how close they were to other people. Knowing John, not very close. He was a man who valued his privacy. But still, she wasn’t the type of woman to take these kinds of chances, to be this wild and impetuous.

He shifted his mouth to her other breast, wringing a moan of pleasure from her, and she forgot all her objections, all the reasons why this wasn’t a good idea. Her panties were damp and the familiar longing grew within her. “John.” She groaned his name as he sucked hard and used his tongue on her straining nipple.

“Right here. Right now.” He pulled back and yanked down the zipper of her jeans and tore open the button.

His sense of urgency fired hers and she found herself agreeing, even helping. She shimmied her hips and he pulled her jeans down around her knees, taking her panties with them. Cool air hit her bare butt and her pussy and she shivered.

Her boots prevented her clothing from going down any farther. John swore and spun her around so she was facing the tree. “Bend forward.”

A blast of heat beat back the cold when she realized what he wanted to do. She placed her hands on the rough bark of the tree and leaned down. Behind her, she could hear the sound of a zipper. Fabric moved over fabric and then she felt the hard, hot head of his cock pressed against her opening.

John swore and pulled back. “Condom,” he muttered. She felt exposed and vulnerable just waiting for him, yet every nerve in her body tingled in anticipation.

The crinkle of the foil packet sounded extremely loud to her ears, unnatural amidst the sounds of nature.

“Done,” he muttered. He caught her hips in his hands, positioned his cock at her opening and pushed inward. There was no pause, no hesitation as he pushed past her body’s natural resistance until he’d seated himself to the hilt.

She felt deliciously stretched as he invaded her, giving no quarter. She squirmed, trying to take him even deeper. It was a tight fit in this position and there was slight discomfort as her body adjusted to his, but it hurt so good.

He pulled back until only the tip of his cock was lodged in her pussy. Then he slammed home again. She arched her back and cried out.

He froze. “Topaz?”

“Again,” she moaned. God, she needed him to fill her, to drive out all her insecurities and misgivings. All she wanted to do was feel.

His hands tightened around her hips and he drove into her over and over, pushing them both closer to the edge of oblivion. Around them the sounds of the forest grew quiet until all she could hear was the sound of their heavy breathing and the occasional groan of pleasure. He shifted and the snow scrunched beneath his boots.

She should have been cold, half-naked as she was. But she was hot, burning with need.

John banded one arm around her waist and reached his free hand down between her legs. His thumb grazed her clit, setting off a series of small explosions in her core. She cried out and then caught her breath when he pulled her away from the tree, so she was standing upright with his cock buried deep in her pussy.

The position made his cock seem even larger and she wasn’t sure how he fit inside her. The pressure in her groin grew with each passing second until she knew she couldn’t hold out any longer.

John held her close, his hips rocking hard against her ass. His movements were fast and frantic now. She cried out his name and gave herself over to the explosive orgasm that ripped through her.

He swore under his breath as his arms tightened around her. His hips jerked and his cock rippled, setting off another round of spasms within her. Her vision dimmed and she gulped in mouthfuls of cool air. A shiver snaked down her spine. She suddenly felt the cold air on her bare legs and butt.

“God almighty, but that got out of hand.” John withdrew carefully from her. In spite of his effort to be gentle, she flinched. She was feeling raw, physically and emotionally.

She used one hand to steady herself against the tree and tried to pull up her clothes with the other. It was harder than it should have been. Her limbs weren’t responding to her commands. Her legs felt like jelly and her arms weren’t much better.

“Here. Let me help you.” John tugged her panties and jeans around her and zipped them shut before pulling her sweater back down. He pulled the sides of her jacket closed and pulled her into his arms.

She buried her face against his chest and breathed in his musky, woodsy scent. This man could make her do things that no other could. He could make her forget herself and her surroundings. He could make her lose herself in passion. It was crazy. It was addictive. But mostly it was dangerous to her peace of mind.

“Everything will be okay.” His promise brought tears to his eyes. She didn’t know how everything would be okay, but she didn’t want to argue with him. Not now. Time was growing short.

He leaned back and caught her chin with the edge of his hand. His blue eyes studied her face. She had no idea what he was looking for or if he found it. He kissed her forehead and stepped back, taking the time to zip her jacket closed. “Are you too cold to keep walking? Do you want to go back?”

She jammed her chilled hands into her coat pocket and pulled out her gloves, slipping them on. “No, I’m okay.” She didn’t want to go inside just yet, was afraid she’d feel the walls closing in around her if she did.

“The brook isn’t far from here.” He grabbed his jacket and slipped it on. Then he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and guided her down the rough trail. Five minutes later they came out at a small, burbling brook. A large boulder had settled on its side next to the water. John drew her to it and sat, pulling her down in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her and urged her to lean back against his chest.

They were silent for several minutes as she waited for him to speak. She could tell he had something on his mind. The time had come for them to talk and she knew there would be no putting him off this time. She braced herself for what was to come.

John felt Topaz stiffen in his arms but he didn’t let her go, nor did it deter him from what he was about to say. They needed to talk. Time was running out. Soon they’d both be back to their busy lives and if they didn’t settle their relationship, he was afraid she could easily slip away from him.

His body was still humming from the orgasm he’d just had. He still couldn’t believe he’d stripped her pants down to her knees and taken her in the middle of the cold woods. Really smooth there, Knight.

Still, he couldn’t really regret his impulsive actions. She’d been right with him all the way, her sweet pussy closing around his dick and clenching it tight. His cock stirred again, but he ignored it. He’d only put one condom in his pocket and he’d already used it.

Plus, he was determined to find out why she seemed so opposed to an actual relationship with him. If he were a less self-assured man she’d have crushed whatever ego he did have weeks ago.

“Talk to me, sweetheart.” He kept his voice low and neutral. “Why are you so afraid of what we have together?”

He waited for what seemed like forever, but his patience was finally rewarded. “You lead such a different life than I do, John. You were in the military. You’ve done things I could never dream of.”

He stiffened. Was it his past that was keeping them apart? He’d spent more time in war zones than he wanted to remember, had done things no man should ever have to do. But he’d done them because they’d needed doing and he wasn’t ashamed of his actions.

She continued to speak, totally unaware of his internal turmoil. “I mean, you jump out of planes and blow things up and do all kinds of death-defying things. The most dangerous thing I’ve ever done is hit an after-Christmas sale at Macy’s.”

John relaxed slightly. “What does that matter?” He was totally perplexed and wished he understood exactly what was going on inside her mind. Women were complicated creatures. Men were much more straightforward and easy to understand.

She turned in his arms and looked up at him. “What does it matter?” She was looking at him as though he wasn’t very smart, which might have been amusing under other circumstances. Now it was frustrating as hell.

“I’ll tell you why it matters,” she continued. “You’ve lived with adrenaline and adventure your entire life. Even after you left the military you chose a profession that was filled with more thrills and danger. I can’t live like that. I’m a homebody. I want security and a man who is content to stay home with me.”

Topaz paused and fear clouded her eyes. “I wouldn’t be enough for you, John. Maybe at first, but over time…” She let her words trail off and he thought his heart might split in two when a lone tear rolled down her cheek.

He caught the tear on his thumb and wiped it away. “Hey. That’s just crazy.” He had to make her understand how he felt about her. “I’m forty years old, sweetheart. I’ve been shot at more time than I care to think about and bailed out of more than enough airplanes to last me a lifetime. I’m ready to settle down and live a quieter life.”

She pulled out of his arms and turned, sitting tailor-style on the rock facing him. “That’s not true. Not really. You’re a professional bodyguard, John. That means you’ll still be in danger and people might very well be shooting at you.”

“The chances of me being shot because of my work are very slim. We specialize mostly in corporate security, going into businesses and finding the weaknesses so we can plug the holes.” Not only was it satisfying work, but it paid a hell of a lot better than the military ever had.

Topaz frowned at him. “But you’re a bodyguard too.”

He shook his head. “Only in very rare cases.” He reached out and ran his fingers over her hair. “When I saw you for the first time last year, I knew I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”

She licked her lips and his cock jerked in response, but he held a tight rein on his body. This was too important for him to fail now. This was the most important mission of his life. He could not fail. Topaz had to give them a chance.

Topaz felt a warm fuzzy feeling in the vicinity of her heart, but she had to stay strong. John was trying to refute the reasons they couldn’t have a real relationship but she wasn’t quite ready to believe him yet.

Oh, she knew he meant it when he said he was finished with all the excitement in his life. It was one thing to say it, another to actually live it.

He touched her cheek, his eyes steady and warm. “Give us a chance. Give me a chance to show you I mean what I’m saying.”

Could she do that? Could she risk her heart? “But we don’t really know one another.”

John laughed and shook his head. “Babe, we’ve been living together for weeks this winter, not to mention our time together last summer.”

She felt her cheeks heating and knew she was blushing. She detested the weakness and pushed onward with her objections. “That’s not real. The situation was tense. You were my bodyguard.” He couldn’t refute those facts.

He shrugged. “So. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t real.” He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger and leaned in closer. “All those meals we shared, movies we watched, arguments about business and politics, they were all real.”

She closed her eyes, needing to escape the intensity of his gaze. “But the situation wasn’t a normal one. What happens when the day-to-day drudgery sets in and I’m nagging you to pick up your socks off the floor or you’re pissed off because I don’t want to go skydiving or something?”

He kissed her and her eyes flew open. He took her hands in his and gave them a squeeze. “First of all, I’m neat. I don’t leave my socks on the floor. If we’d been sharing a bed these past weeks you’d already know that. As for skydiving or anything else like that, if I want to do it I can always ask Jake to go with me. I don’t expect you to be anything other than what you are.”

He was refuting all her arguments one by one. Still, she was unsure what to do about them. She was beginning to think the problem wasn’t with John at all, but with her. It was an eye-opening revelation and something she needed to consider.

John brought her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles one by one. “Every relationship has challenges, Topaz. Life doesn’t come with guarantees. But we can make this work.”

He stood and pulled her to her feet beside him. “Only you can decide if what we have is worth the risk to you. I think it is. And I’m willing to give it everything I’ve got.”

He stepped down off the rock and helped her down. “Let’s go back to the cabin and get something warm to drink. I don’t want you to get a chill.”

Topaz walked beside him, her mind scrambling to come up with an argument to refute his. But as much as she tried, she couldn’t. Bottom line, she had to decide if she was willing to take a chance on John and on herself.