Touch of Topaz

Chapter Eight

Topaz slipped her cellphone back into her purse and tried not to feel the clock ticking down on their time together. Susie had assured her that Sisters’ Jewels was running just fine and she should take her time in coming back to work.

It was depressing to think the business could function so well without her. But it was also a testament to her skill as a businesswoman. She’d trained all her staff extremely well. Yes, she’d have piles of paperwork to deal with and then there was the Christmas line to finalize. It might only be March, but in retail that meant it was time to start planning for the big holiday season.

There were also several messages from both her sisters and her mother, demanding to know where she was. She thought about answering them, but wasn’t up to an inquisition, not when she was so uncertain herself.

She rubbed a hand over her face and wondered what the hell she was going to do about her and John. She’d cleaned up in the bathroom, but she could still feel the echoes of their wild lovemaking in the woods. Her body might be humming with satisfaction, but her emotions were totally messed up.

She picked up her brush and ran it through her hair. Not that it needed it. She was stalling and she knew it. John was out in the kitchen making hot chocolate for them. The man was always trying to take care of her in little ways. She could easily get used to it if she wasn’t careful. And would that be such a bad thing?

She’d needed a few moments to herself and had slipped into the bedroom on the pretext that she had to call the boutique to make sure everything was running okay in her absence and to let her assistant know she’d be back in the city sometime tomorrow.

She was feeling indecisive, a very unusual state for her and she didn’t like it. She was always calm, able to see all sides of a situation and make the best decision. And she thought she’d done that with her and John’s relationship. Now she was conflicted.

Personal relationships were a lot more confusing than business ones. They weren’t cut-and-dry. Topaz was forced to face the fact that she’d only dated men she could deal with the same way she did any business transaction. That wasn’t flattering to her or fair to the men she’d dated.

John defied being categorized or pigeonholed. A relationship with him would be emotional and messy and potentially devastating. But it could also be wonderful if she could find the courage to reach out and take what he was offering.

It was sobering to discover she was a coward when it came to relationships. She didn’t like seeing this side of herself, but she had to face it and deal with it if she was going to move forward.

The question was, did she want to move forward or was she happy living exactly the way she was?

She tossed her brush down on the dresser and headed toward the kitchen. She wasn’t going to come to any conclusions simply standing there. Might as well have some hot chocolate. All women knew you could think better when you had chocolate. It’s hardwired into the DNA.

John’s back was turned to her when she entered the kitchen, but she didn’t for one minute think he didn’t know she was there. She studied his competent movements, the way he poured hot water and stirred the contents into the mugs. The man did so many things well he sometimes could be intimidating to be around. But Topaz knew that beneath his hard exterior was a man of great substance.

As he worked, the gray long-sleeved knit shirt he wore clung to his broad shoulders and emphasized the size of his biceps. He set the spoon in the sink, turned and handed her one of the mugs.

“Thanks.” She took a sip, disconcerted by the unease that slid through her. It belatedly occurred to her that she’d always felt relaxed around John, not having to watch her words or behave in a certain manner. She’d always been herself around him and the silences had always been comfortable ones. Until now.

“You’re welcome.” He used the pad of this thumb to wipe the corner of her mouth. “You’ve got some here.”

She felt the light touch all the way to her toes and took a step back. “Ah, thanks.”

John sighed. “You know, I’m not going to jump you again. You don’t have to decide what you want to do about our relationship right this moment.” His exasperation was evident and it made her smile.

“First of all, the jumping was mutual.” No way did she want him to think any differently. “And are you sure you want a relationship with me? I seem to frustrate you quite a bit.”

That got her a chuckle and a smile. “That’s the God’s truth.” He touched her cheek and rubbed his thumb over her skin, making it tingle. “But you’re worth it.”

Topaz wasn’t quite sure how to take his answer and chose to store it away to think about at a later time. She held her mug tight in her hands, enjoying the way the heat seeped into her skin. She wouldn’t say anything to John, but she really was chilled to the bone from their walk in the woods.

She wandered into the living room area and sat in the corner of the sofa, pulling her legs up close to her body to conserve heat. John followed her and set his mug down on the coffee table. “You’re cold.” His words were almost accusing and angry, and she immediately knew he was blaming himself.

“I’m fine. Just a little chilly is all.”

He ignored her, grabbed the box of matches from the mantle and crouched in front of the fireplace. He lit a match and set it to the kindling. The fire crackled and caught the logs. When he was satisfied with the growing blaze, he set the screen in front and joined her on the sofa.

He grasped her by the waist and tugged her until she was curled up in his arms. His warmth surrounded her. It was nice to sit in front of a cheerful fire with John, neither of them speaking. The silence wasn’t strained, wasn’t completely comfortable either, but somewhere in-between.

He ran his hand absently up and down her arm, all the while staring into the flames. She rested her head against his shoulder, her mind whirling with the possibilities. Could they make a long-term relationship work?

“Stop thinking,” he admonished her. “Just enjoy the rest of the day. We’ll head back to the city in the morning and take things from there.”

He knew her so well. It constantly surprised her just how in tune he was with her moods. And it shouldn’t. He was right about one thing. They had lived together for several weeks last summer and again this winter. They might not have been sleeping together but they had been sharing a living space. He’d seen into all aspects of her life, but she knew very little about what he did and how he lived when he was away from her.

“What’s your life like?” If they were to have any chance at a relationship, she needed to know more about him. “When you’re not being my bodyguard,” she clarified.

John rubbed his chin against the top of her head. “I work, I eat, I exercise and keep my skills up.”

She gave him a mock punch in the stomach. He reached down, caught her fist in his hand and brought it to his lips. “That tells me exactly nothing,” she protested.

He sighed. “What do you want to know?”

“Everything. Do you live alone or do you and Jake share a place? What’s it like having a twin brother? Where are your parents?” It appalled her to realize she didn’t already know the answers to these questions. She’d really been self-centered during their time together. Of course, he’d been her bodyguard, not her best friend, but still.

“Jake and I own a four-apartment brownstone. We each have our own place and rent the two other units.” He shifted slightly, and she moved so she could watch him while he spoke.

His face was more rugged than handsome, with his strong, stubborn jaw and high forehead. But it suited him. His eyes were like blue lasers, seeing everything in one sweep of a room. That gaze was pinned on her now.

“Our parents were killed in a car accident when we were six and we went to live with our granddad—Bernard Knight. He’d spent most of his life in the Army. Grandma died of cancer before we were even born. So there he was with two rambunctious six-year-olds to raise.”

She could easily picture two blond-headed boys in stained shirts and ripped jeans. They would have been a handful and then some. “I’d say it was a challenge for all of you.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, it was. He was strict, but fair. We lived in Brooklyn and he worked at a garage. He kept us off the streets and out of trouble until we joined the Army.”

“He must have been proud of you both.” What grandfather wouldn’t be proud of such brave, wonderful men? She didn’t know Jake nearly as well as she did John, but she couldn’t imagine him being much different in his core values. Sapphire liked him and that was enough for Topaz to know he had to be a good man. Her sister had a keen nose for sniffing out phonies.

“I guess. He expected us to make something out of our lives.” John’s hand squeezed her hip, kneading her curve before floating back up to her waist.

“Is he still alive?”

John snorted. “Oh yeah. He’s eighty-two years old and still lives in the apartment in Brooklyn. Jake and I wanted him to move into one of the apartments in our building, but he informed us he liked where he was living and was staying. Stubborn old goat,” John muttered.

Topaz couldn’t help it. She burst into laughter. “Takes one to know one,” she managed to get out between bouts of laughter.

A slow smile curved his lips. “You think I’m stubborn?”

She pressed her finger into the slight cleft in his chin. “I know you are.”

“Honey, I’m positively laid-back compared to Granddad.”

“I’ve got to meet him.” He sounded like a fascinating man and she’d bet he could tell her all kinds of stories about John when he was a boy.

John’s arms tightened around her. “I’d like that.”

It was only after she’d said it she realized that spoke of them having some kind of a future together, at least in the short-term. She nodded but said nothing more, not wanting to commit herself further, not yet. Still, she wanted to meet the man who had such a hand in rearing such a wonderful man like John.

“What about you? What was it like growing up in the Jewel family?”

They’d talked about her family some. More the facts than how she actually felt about it. “In many ways it was the perfect childhood.” She sighed and rested her head on John’s shoulder once again.

“But not always?” he countered.

“No, not always. There were always photographers and reporters hanging around outside the family estate hoping to get a shot or a story, especially when we were younger. We couldn’t go outside the gates without at least one of them chasing us.”

“That must have been tough. And having the reporters hounding your family again this past year must have brought it all back.” Topaz wasn’t surprised by John’s swift and accurate assessment of the situation. Having to deal with the paparazzi had brought back all those negative memories.

“You’ve had a taste of it since taking the job as my bodyguard, so you know what it’s like. It certainly has added to the pressure. When we were kids, all the attention eased off when Mom and Dad stopped touring. The media hounds eventually lost interest in our family and went away. The times have changed, though, and things move faster now. Thankfully, it won’t be long until we’re old news.”

She offered him a smile. “I don’t want you to think I had a miserable childhood. Quite the opposite, in fact. My sisters and I were always close. We didn’t go to regular school often. We were mostly homeschooled.” She laughed as one memory jumped to the fore. “We never knew when Dad would take it in his head to do something crazy.”

“Like what?” John relaxed, settling back against the sofa cushions. The fire crackled in the hearth, warming them both.

“Like waking up one morning and deciding we should go to Italy. We were on a plane by just after lunch and spent a month touring the country.”

“That must have been exciting.”

Topaz smiled at the memory. “It was. We ate so much pasta.” She laughed. “Sapphire decided she wanted to swim in one of the fountains in Rome. Instead of trying to stop her, my dad joined her while Mom took pictures of them.”

She traced circles on the front of his shirt, lost in the past. “It really was special. We were always going somewhere. We never knew from one moment to the next what might happen.”

“And that made you want a quiet, stable life.” There was no judgment in his tone, but Topaz felt herself growing defensive.

“I suppose so.” She really couldn’t deny it. John was an astute man. She should have known he’d see beyond the fond memory to the effect it had on her adult life.

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with wanting stability. I want it too.” He brushed his hand through her hair. “And you have it whether you realize it or not. Your family is your stability. I’ve watched you and your sisters together. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do for one another.”

He was right. She knew she would never be alone in the world, never have to face life by herself, not as long as she had her sisters and her parents.

“It’s like that for me and Jake,” he continued, his fingers massaging her scalp before moving lower to her neck. Muscles she hadn’t realized were even tense began to loosen under his tender touch. “Granddad might be a tough son of a bitch, but we always knew we could depend on him. I could call him right now if I needed him and he’d climb in his 1968 Camaro and come as fast as he could. Which would be pretty damn fast in that car.”

John was making her look at her life in a different way. It was strange to take what she’d always seen as a chaotic childhood and turn it on its head so she could see the bedrock of support, the stability that was there. Deep down, she’d always known she could count on her family, but she’d never translated it to the security she’d craved. No, her life wasn’t normal, would never be. But that was okay. What was normal anyway?

She moaned when his fingers dug into a particularly stiff shoulder muscle. “Babe, you need to relax.”

“I know,” she groaned. She fully realized she was a type A personality, always needing to be in control of a situation. It was what made her excel at business. It also led to the downfall of many relationships. Not to mention the tension headaches and stress.

He lifted her off his lap. “How about we play a game?”

Her eyes widened and her interest grew. “What kind of game?” Was that her own voice so low and husky? They’d only had sex an hour ago in the woods, for crying out loud.

“How about Monopoly?” He grinned at her as if he knew where her thoughts had gone. “I figure you’d like that game. You can try to whoop my butt by stealing all my property.”

She picked up her mug and sipped at the cooling chocolate. “You’re on. And I promise I won’t have any mercy.”

He gave a theatrical groan and clutched his heart. “Don’t be too rough with me.”

She looked at his crotch and licked her lips. It was gratifying to watch his cock flex and grow beneath his jeans. “I won’t be too rough. Just rough enough.”

This time his groan was real. “You’re killing me, babe.”

“You’re the one who wanted to play games,” she pointed out.

He leaned down and dropped a quick kiss on her lips. “So I did.” He straightened and went to the almost empty bookcase and pulled the game off the bottom shelf. “Loser makes dinner.”

“You’re on.”

* * * * *

Hours later, John put a perfectly grilled cheese sandwich in front of Topaz. “Hope you like it.” He’d already dished up the canned tomato soup to give it time to cool.

“I’ll love it. Nothing tastes better than a winning bet.” She lifted one golden triangle and bit into it. “Mmm, nice and gooey. Just the way I like it.”

John was pleased that she appeared to be totally relaxed and content, which had been his plan all along. She’d been so uptight when they’d returned from their walk, he’d half expected her to pack her bags and demand to be taken home. She needed some time and breathing space so he’d made a tactical retreat. Now he was sneaking closer again and planned to catch her off guard.

“I should have known better than to play a game of business against you.” She was as sharp at the game as she was in real life. And lucky too. “Tactics are more my speed. That and strength. Maybe we’ll play touch football next time.”

“Maybe we will,” she grinned. “I think I can take you.”

He wouldn’t mind her taking him. Not at all. His dick flexed in agreement. He’d been hard all damn afternoon, ever since she’d looked at his cock and licked her lips. The tease. She’d known darn well what she was doing to him.

They’d skipped lunch and munched on chips instead. Neither of them wanted to stop playing long enough to cook, so they were having an early supper. It was already getting dark outside, making the cabin seem cozy and warm.

He’d learned a lot about her this afternoon. They’d chatted as they’d played the board game, both of them sharing memories from their childhood. It had pleased him when she’d asked personal questions about his life, something she’d refrained from doing up until now. Whether she realized it or not, that was a major victory for him. She wouldn’t ask if she wasn’t thinking about taking their relationship to the next level.

Topaz was a very complex woman, on one hand so courageous and independent and, on the other, she was uncertain and needed to feel secure. He could have told her there was no such thing as security, not really. Life happened and you dealt with what it handed you, for better or worse.

What she didn’t seem to realize was she had the inner strength to deal with whatever came her way. If building a business from scratch with her sisters hadn’t taught her that, the turmoil from the past year should have.

John wanted to be the one she leaned on when things got tough. He wanted to be the one she turned to when she was feeling insecure or needed to talk, the one who held her through the night, who was beside her for better or worse.

He already knew she was the one for him. Being with her made him feel as though he’d finally found his place in the world. He’d been content with his life before he’d met her. But when he was around her, he felt happy, as though a missing part of himself had finally been found.

They ate mostly in silence, only making the occasional comment. John felt the weight of the coming morning, knowing he would have to take Topaz back to the apartment she shared with her sister. Sapphire would already be there waiting for Topaz. He knew them well enough to know they’d want to talk about everything that had happened since they’d last seen one another. He had to try to secure his place in her life before they left.

He set his spoon down and stood. Topaz glanced up at him, her gaze widening. He wasn’t sure what she saw when she looked at him, but he knew how he felt—aroused and territorial. “Come with me.” He held out his hand to her and waited.

She wiped her mouth with her napkin and pushed away from the table. Triumph filled him when she took his hand. He led her down the hallway to the bedroom, leaving the messy kitchen behind them. He shut the door and turned to her, determined to make love to her so well she’d never forget this night for as long as she lived.