Chapter Fourteen

After finally getting Ryan settled in Julie’s condo, it was nearly three in the morning. Even though shifting had healed Ryan’s wounds, it did little to help the emotional scars that cut deep. Instead of having Ryan return to the small apartment he’d set up for the boys, Julie and he agreed that he should stay with her. Despite the fact that she had two younger sisters, it seemed the extra female attention would go a long way toward aiding his recovery.

Tristan had slept in until eleven in the morning; tossing and turning as he tried to resolve his feelings for Kalli and the fact he’d sent her away to spend the night at Logan’s. As he sat at the dining room table, drinking coffee and doing work, he couldn’t help but notice the emptiness around him. Within a day of her being in his home, he’d grown unusually accustomed to having her around. He smiled, thinking that it didn’t hurt that she had a penchant for walking around in her underwear.

Of course, now that he knew her true nature, it didn’t surprise him as much. It wasn’t as if wolves were exactly known for their modesty. Even if that medicine suppressed her shifting, it couldn’t erase the telltale signs that she was wolf. It also now made perfect sense why his wolf wanted her so badly. It was as if he’d been looking at an image, thinking he saw only a woman. But if one looked closer, the wolf was revealed, exposing the optical illusion. Aware of the mirage, he could now see both the woman and the wolf; never again would he be fooled by the trick of the eye.

He tried focusing on his email, noticing that Mira had sent him three different dossiers on potential real estate acquisitions. Tristan considered getting Logan’s input before moving forward with the deals. In reality, he knew he could’ve made the decision himself, but part of him was just looking for an excuse to see Kalli. Unable to resist, he picked up his cell and tapped Logan’s number.

“Logan here.”

Tristan could barely hear him through the static-filled connection. What did he say? And did he just hear dogs barking? What the hell?

“It’s me. Can you hear me?” he asked, sounding like a television commercial.

“Send you a text,” was the last thing he heard before the call dropped.

His cell buzzed, alerting him to the text from Logan. ‘At animal shelter with Kalli. Bad cell service.’

Where the hell were they? An animal shelter? Goddammit. Did no one listen? He’d specifically instructed everyone to stay home except for essential activities. And Logan was with Kalli at a shelter? Shit. They’d been alone less than twelve hours and already they’d started doing things together? It rubbed him raw thinking about Kalli, sleeping in Logan’s bed. He wondered if Logan went to her like he had that first night. Had she bared her beautiful breasts to him? Thoughts of his beta and Kalli nearly drove him mad.

He tapped out an angry response: ‘Where r u? Address?’

Tristan had to see her, unsure what he’d say. He was still angry about her lying. But he felt horrible not being around her. The conundrum was killing him. Facing it head on was the only option. Grabbing his helmet, he took off out of his condo, heading down to get his Harley.

* * *

From the parking lot, he could hear the barking and mewling. The large industrial warehouse had been converted to a good-sized animal shelter. As he walked into the brightly colored lobby, he noticed the wall behind the receptionist’s desk was stenciled in neon paw prints. There was something childlike and fun about the atmosphere. He noted a pile of balls in a basket, with a sign instructing dogs and their would-be owners to ‘Take one and play’.

An older woman with grey hair swept up into a bun, manned the desk. “Why hello there! Adopting?” she asked expectantly.

“Not at this time, I’m afraid. I’m here to see Dr. Williams. My friend Logan’s here with her,” he managed. In awe of the lobby, he couldn’t remember ever seeing such an upbeat animal shelter. It was a far cry from the city pound. He knew Kalli co-owned it and wondered if the grandmotherly woman in front of him was her partner.

“Ah yes, we’ve been expecting you, Mr. Livingston. I’m Sadie. Dr. Kalli and Logan are just around the corner.” She unlocked a door and ushered him into the corridor. A large Malamute barked a few times while jumping up to lick his hand. A half wall kept Fido inside of an enormous indoor running and play arena, complete with blue and green playground equipment. Tristan guessed that at least twenty dogs were running and playing, while a young man kept watch, occasionally throwing a ball to them.

As Tristan gave the burly pup a rub on the head, Sadie laughed. “Oh don’t mind him; he’s just a big baby. We’ll find him a forever home one of these days. Come on now, Ace, leave Mr. Livingston be. Go on,” she instructed. “Just this way.” She pointed to a glass-encased conference room, which looked as if it also functioned as an office. Colorful paintings depicting grass and flowers on the bottom half of the glass, obstructed his view.

“Tris, over here,” Logan called, coming out of a room to the left. Cats of all different kinds were silk screened onto the door.

“Hey.”

“Mr. Logan,” Sadie crooned. “I have a feeling you’ll be leaving here with a kitten yet.”

He shrugged, giving her a warm smile. “As soon as I get permission from my landlord.”

“Okay, then. Well, I’ll leave you two. Gotta get back to the front desk.” Sadie shuffled down the hallway.

Tristan began to laugh. “Seriously bro? A kitty?”

“Yeah, why not? Can’t a wolf get some love?”

“Sure, I’ll rush right out and get you that ‘Real wolves love cats’ t-shirt you’ve always wanted,” he joked.

“So?” Logan asked without stating the real question.

“What?” Tristan replied indignantly.

“Why’d you rush down here, Tris?”

“I missed you.” He grinned.

“Yeah, right. You here to see her?”

“Maybe,” Tristan admitted, looking over to the dogs.

“You know I respect you. You’re my Alpha. We grew up together. We’ve hunted together. Hell, you know where this is going. Listen, about Kalli…”

“Don’t, Logan,” Tristan warned.

“Don’t what? Tell you to go easy, because I’m going to. Damn, we’re all torn up about Toby. But sending her out to me last night. That was cold, man.” Logan looked over to the glass, wondering if Kalli could hear them.

“I know. But I needed to get her away from me. You don’t get it, Logan. She’s driving me crazy. One minute she’s submitting to me on the balcony and the next thing I know, she’s involved in creating this hideous drug. I was so freakin’ pissed. I can’t see straight when I’m around her. And now that I know she’s wolf…fuck, what am I supposed to do?” Tristan rubbed his eyes with his fist. The more he talked about her, the more agitated he became.

Logan walked over to a sofa that sat next to the office and fell down onto it. He let the back of his head rest on the pillows, staring up at the ceiling.

“Let me tell you what happened last night when I, that’s right I, took Kalli to my home….in my bed.” He lowered his chin, eyeing Tristan again.

“I can’t know, Logan. Don’t tell me. What part of ‘I can’t think straight when it comes to her’ don’t you understand?” He held up his palms as if that would stop Logan’s words from assaulting him.

“I’ll tell you what happened. Nothing. Not a goddamned thing. She cried halfway home. Then I had the pleasure of watching her collect her things from your house like someone had kicked her in the stomach. Then, like the jerk I was for listening to you, I showed her into my guest room. And for the next thirty minutes, I heard her crying until she finally fell asleep.”

Tristan fisted his hands and turned his back on Logan. As if he didn’t feel enough like shit, Logan was forcing him to come to terms with what he’d done.

“Why are you telling me this? I’m the one who told you to take her. I knew there’d be consequences to my order,” he bit out.

“This morning,” Logan groaned, holding his hand to his heart as if reliving a great memory. “Aw man, do you know how beautiful she is when she wakes up? Prancing around in her underwear as if she’s alone? She’s totally unaware of what she does to a wolf.”

Tristan grunted. Oh he knew how beautiful she was, all right.

“So when she asked me to bring her here, what was I going to do? Her eyes were all puffy, but thank the Goddess she’d stopped crying. She needed to see her animals, so how could I not oblige? It could’ve had something to do with those pink shorts barely covering her…well, you get the picture. Did I mention that she cooks in her underwear? She says they’re pajamas, but they hug her in all the right places.” Logan smiled as if he was the cat who ate the canary.

“Enough, Logan. I get the picture. You damn well know that as Alpha, there are times when I’m forced to make difficult decisions. And some decisions that aren’t always popular, but that’s what leadership is about. I need to think of what’s best for the pack. I need to get my head on straight. Toby’s dead because of her drug. Her lies,” he reminded Logan.

“No, Toby’s dead because some asshole out there is attacking our pack. And it’s not her. Did she lie? Yes. But I’ve never known you to be anything but fair and compassionate with your wolves. She needs that part of you, Tris.”

Tristan just shook his head. He loved Logan like a brother, but only an Alpha understood the weight of responsibility he carried. He couldn’t afford the distraction. He needed her to help catch the perpetrators, nothing more, nothing less.

“Come here,” Logan told him, almost instantly recognizing his insubordinate tone.

Tristan cast him a cautionary glare.

“My Alpha,” Logan asked, respectfully lowering his eyes. “Tell me that this person, this abused she-wolf, this one right here is a danger. Look at her and tell me that she’s a danger to your sanity, to the pack.”

Tristan walked over and peered over the painted grass to view Kalli lying upon a carpet, covered in puppies. On her tummy, she was holding one up to her face, whispering endearments while blowing kisses at the furry baby. Two of the little pups were asleep, curled up with their heads on her feet. Wrestling over a rope toy, two others rolled as one in a ball.

Tristan sighed at the sight; his heart flooded with warmth. “She’d make a wonderful mother,” he blurted out. As soon as the words left his lips, he cringed. What the hell?

Logan coughed, choking at the statement. “Shocked you noticed, let alone just said that out loud, but yes, yes she would.”

Kalli could feel his presence without even looking up. She’d skipped her dose of CLI this morning, feeling as if she’d vomit at the sight of it. It was the reason that boy was dead. Being around Tristan was confusing her; thoughts of running wolf flitted around in her mind. She wanted so badly to hate him, to never speak to him after he’d sent her away. But her heart and wolf begged to be back in his arms.

“Hi,” she said nonchalantly, not looking up at him as the door opened. She feared she’d start crying again.

“Hey.” Goddess, she looked resplendent, puppies and all, but he held himself back.

“Do you want a puppy?”

“Um, uh, I don’t think I have the time right now to take one on…” he stammered. Big Alpha male to bumbling teenager within thirty seconds, he thought to himself. This is exactly what she did to him and why he’d needed some space.

“No, I mean, do you want to hold a puppy?” She asked as if she was extending an olive branch. And in many respects she was. This time she’d give him a gift.

“Um, yeah, sure. Where do you want me?” Looking down at her firm bottom, he knew where he wanted to be.

She sat up, sliding her legs from under the warm puppy heads. Reaching over, she gently put a puppy into his big hands.

“His name is Lowell. Don’t tell the others but he’s my favorite,” she whispered as if they could understand her.

“Little wolf?” Tristan smiled, cuddling his black and white pelt. The way she talked to them he was tempted to believe maybe they really did understand her.

She gave him a tiny shrug. “They make me feel better. I know technically they need me. But I need them. They’re like children. These guys,” She picked up a white one and kissed its furry head. “Their mommy got hit by a car. She didn’t make it. So I’ve been raising them, since they were three weeks old. They’re mutts. Beautiful, sweet mutts.”

“Kalli, I’m sorry,” he apologized softly as he nuzzled the pup. She was right; they did make him feel better, he thought. Or maybe it was the relief he felt, apologizing for his outburst.

Kalli stilled at his words. “It’s okay. I was fine at Logan’s.” She looked away, willing herself not to cry. “I talked to that detective last night and told him everything. I plan on sticking around to help you find who did this to Toby. I won’t try to leave…not that I’d be safe anywhere else.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it. Tomorrow we’ve got a big meeting with the New York Alpha. I’ll need you to be there.”

“Okay,” she quietly agreed. The very last thing in the world she wanted to do was be in the company of yet another Alpha. It was as if her self-imposed wolf drought had caught up with her and now she was facing a tsunami of them.

“The other thing is that we need to start working on an antidote to CLI. Regardless of whether we get the wolves who did this, the fact remains that they have some of your pills.”

Kalli thought about it for a minute before rushing to speak. “I’ve got my research still, so I can certainly start on devising an antidote. I’ll need a laptop and eventually lab equipment. I’ve gotta tell you, though, it could take a while to make it. Weeks at best but probably more like a month.”

“Whatever it takes. I can get you the things you need. What else?”

“The thing is that there were only around thirty pills in the container that they stole. And honestly, the actual process for creating CLI is pretty complicated. So even though they’ll probably break down the chemical composition fairly quickly, it’ll be more difficult to duplicate the process with an end product that is the same. The point is that we’ve got a little bit of time, before they can make more and distribute it. But you should also know that once they figure it out, it’s only a matter of time before someone decides to make it into a more functional weapon, like putting it into a bullet or dart for example. It could be honed to effectively thwart shifting if someone really tried,” she reasoned.

“Good to know. Well, not really ‘good to know’, but that gives us all the more incentive to find these guys quickly.” Tristan shuddered at the thought of how CLI could be used as a tactical weapon. Not only could wolves use it against each other, it could be used by humans and vamps against wolves as well.

“One last item. Tonight there’s a charity function I need you to go to. The mayor’s having a gala to raise money for the libraries. Aside from having committed to it months ago, I want whoever’s responsible to see you out in public with the pack. It could help draw them out of the shadows.” Tristan surveyed the flash of fear that flared in her eyes then left as quickly as it came. His little wolf had grown adept at hiding her emotions. He made a mental note that he’d need to help her with that. She wasn’t doing him or herself any favors hiding her feelings.

Her stomach roiled at the thought of going out in public, but she owed him, owed the Lyceum Wolves. And she couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t say, ‘out with him’. He specifically said, ‘out with the pack’. Aware of the difference and ripe with anxiety, she reluctantly nodded.

Tristan put the pup down on the floor, picked up the rope toy and waved it in his face. Immediately, the puppy clamped down on the fibers, refusing to let go. Giving the rope a tiny shake, the puppy copied Tristan’s motions. Before he knew it, the puppy was growling and shaking it hard, refusing to give up his prize.

“Look at your Lowell, Doc. He’s really something,” Tristan laughed. “What a tough boy you are,” he sang in his best dog voice, making soft growling noises. He smiled broadly, feeling proud the puppy held on so well.

“He likes you,” she acknowledged, grinning at the way Lowell ferociously challenged Tristan. There was something about watching the most lethal Alpha on the East Coast play gently with the tiny whelp.

Tristan’s face fell into a soft wolfish grin, pinning Kalli with his gaze. “He’s an Alpha, Kalli. Look at him holding on tight. He’s claiming it, unwilling to share with another wolf. I don’t let others take what’s mine either.”

“Is that right, huh? Takes one to know one? Perhaps that’s why I love him so much,” she flirted.

“Yes, he definitely isn’t sharing. He knows what’s his.” Tristan continued to maintain eye contact, giving her a sultry smile.

Kalli’s breath caught, feeling as if he was looking into her soul. Embarrassed, she lowered her head into a puppy once more. Was he insinuating that she was his? Last night, he’d been so angry, justifiably, but still, he’d sent her to stay with his beta. Maybe she’d misread his intention, but he’d surely pawned her off to his friend. And it wasn’t as if Logan was chopped liver. With his thick brown hair, chiseled jawline and lean, muscled body, she was sure the girls flocked to him in droves. But while she found Logan attractive, she wasn’t necessarily attracted to him.

With Tristan, however, he lit every nerve she had on end, filling her with desire just about every time she saw him. Even though he was fully clothed, dressed in denim and a black t-shirt, she struggled to resist the urge to devour him on the spot. She reasoned she could skip her meals and lick him head to toe. Shaking her head, she flushed at the thought. Her wolf must be putting these ideas into her mind. But still, she’d have to be six feet under not to want to at least kiss each one of his abs that she’d felt last night. It was as if she’d only had an appetizer, and she was still starving for the whole meal. It wasn’t as if they were doing anything remotely sexual; just sitting on the floor, petting dogs. Yet the insane chemistry managed to infiltrate every single one of her carefully constructed emotional shields she’d built last night in Logan’s guest room.

She realized, in that second, that there was more to what was going on between them. Not only did she want his apology and forgiveness, she wanted every part of him. The impending feelings threatened to tear her heart in shreds if he didn’t return them. But the reality of the situation was that in a single act of not telling him the truth, she’d destroyed the fragile sense of trust they’d erected since they’d met. Sitting on the floor, she could feel it mending, albeit not fixed, but there was an air of openness that hadn’t existed before. No more secrets. No more lies. Emotionally, she was bare. He could either make her his or walk away.

Tristan refused to release her from his gaze, watching the conflicting emotions on her face. He could tell she was struggling to hide her arousal, and he loved that even after everything they’d been through the night before, she couldn’t conceal her reaction to him. But she’d lied, and well, he’d acted like a complete jerk by sending her to Logan as if she were nothing more than a female to be used by males. Something he knew would cut her to her core, given her past experiences in a pack.

He regretted the action, but was unsure how to proceed. Well fueled in anger the previous night, he’d asked Mira to accompany him to the gala. He justified it by telling himself that he needed Mira with him to field business questions. But as he sat next to Kalli in a room full of puppies, he was second guessing taking Mira. As he contemplated his predicament, his phone alarm went off, reminding him of an important meeting, one he couldn’t miss.

“Kalli, I…I’m sorry, I have to go. Got a call to Japan in thirty minutes, and I need to get back to the office,” he explained. “I meant what I said. I’m sorry about how I reacted last night. I’m torn up over what’s happened to Toby, and it just got out of hand.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you the truth sooner. If I had told you, maybe the boys wouldn’t have gotten hurt,” she responded in a barely audible whisper. As much as she tried to push the pain down, she found herself starting to cry again. A tear ran down her already reddened cheeks; her mouth parted as her tongue darted out to lick her upper lip.

“Chérie, look at me.” Tristan cupped her face with one hand and wiped her tear with his thumb. He resisted letting his thumb slide in between her warm pink lips so she could suck his finger. Who was he kidding? He wanted her to suck more than his finger….just the thought of those plump lips, wrapping themselves around the hard length of him sent blood rushing down to his groin. He tried shaking off the dirty images running through his mind. Don’t be a selfish prick, Tris. Get it together. He had to look away and take a deep breath before continuing. He tried to focus on his words and not the very naughty things he wanted to do to her.

“What happened is not your fault. As for you and I, we’ll see, okay? I’m still kind of processing what happened, and I need to be on the top of my game in the next few days. Listen, I’ll see you tonight.”

Kalli swore he was going to kiss her as he ran his calloused thumb near her mouth. But instead of a kiss, he gently hugged her and stood to leave.

After he left, his words reverberated in her head: ‘As for you and I, we’ll see, okay?’ What was that supposed to mean? They’d almost made love yesterday, and now they were at ‘we’ll see’. She smiled sadly, wondering if everything she’d been feeling was real or if it was all in her imagination. It sure as hell felt real, but his lack of intention made her wonder if she needed to protect her heart. Emotionally exposed, she could not have felt more vulnerable.

* * *

Although playing with puppies blanketed her with love and happiness, a hot shower really helped to relax Kalli’s thoughts. It was if she let the stress wash down the drain while resolving to put on her big girl panties. She reasoned that no matter how much her hormones drove her crazy with lust, it’d be in her best interest to let her brain do the talking in the future. Allowing her heart to dictate how she handled the next few weeks in and around an Alpha would only lead to heartache. She was a well-educated, compassionate doctor, and it was about time she started acting like it. Forlorn lovesick teenager wasn’t at all working for her. Either Tristan would forgive her and own up to his feelings or he wouldn’t. In the meantime, it was time to buck up and get her act together. As the hot spray hit her face, she decided that it was time to snap out of it. Whether she liked it or not, she was stuck living with Logan, while trying to help catch killers.

Exiting the bathroom in nothing more than a towel, she gasped in surprise to find Logan waiting for her. Fixing his hair in the mirror, he turned and gave her a huge smile. She couldn’t help but blush as she admired how gorgeous he looked in his tuxedo. While she wasn’t generally modest, she felt extraordinarily underdressed, given she was naked under her tiny towel.

Logan looked her up and down. No harm done looking, he reasoned. Tristan was a damn fool for sending her away, and he might as well be the one to reap the rewards. He grew hard watching her nervously pull at her towel that barely covered her breasts. If she turned around, he was pretty sure that he’d be given another show of her firm little cheeks. Her long black wavy hair tumbled down her back in wet curls. Wide-eyed, she started laughing as he spun in a circle, showing off his fancy duds like a model.

“Nice tux, Logan. You’re looking good,” she commented. “But you do know as much as I love coming out of my bathroom to find a hot man waiting for me, this seems a little awkward.” She smiled and went about drying her hair with a towel, wondering what Tristan would think if he came in here this very minute and found her nearly naked with his beta sitting on her bed. He’d probably go ballistic. And he’d deserve it, the still angry part of her thought.

“Hot, huh? Wait until you see my slick dance moves, girl. Fred Astaire, baby,” he joked.

“Didn’t you tell me that Julie was bringing me something to wear to this Godforsaken ball?” she asked, changing the subject. One could only hope that she’d forgotten and then Kalli would have a valid excuse to bail.

“Ah yes, well, there is something special that was delivered. Not by Julie, though,” he affirmed with a wry grin.

She gave him an inquisitive look, wondering what it was and who had picked out the outfit. Walking over to the closet door, she saw an elegant deep red satin gown. Matching pumps sat on the floor.

“This is…it’s exquisite. Really, I’ve never worn anything like this in my life,” she exclaimed, admiring it up against her in the mirror.

“Come on now, don’t you docs do these shindigs all the time?”

She rolled her eyes at him. “Uh, no way. I’m strictly a working class girl. Did you do this, Logan?”

“No ma’am. It seems you’ve got yourself a secret admirer. But I’ve been sworn to secrecy so don’t bother asking,” he teased with a wink. “And as much as I’ve enjoyed looking at your fine body in that little towel of yours, we’ve gotta go soon or we’ll be late.” He stood and walked over to the doorway.

Kalli approached him, and on her tiptoes, kissed him on the cheek.

Logan put his hand to his face as if he’d been lovingly branded. “What’s that for? Not that I mind even one little bit.”

“For being such a great person to me after everything that went down last night; for taking me down to the shelter today; for letting me stay here. Lots of things,” she bubbled happily, guessing that Tristan had bought her the amazing dress. She returned it to the closet and went back to the dresser to brush out her hair.

“You’re welcome, Kalli. You know, you’re important to this pack, and to Tristan. Far more important than you even know,” he said cryptically.

Kalli smiled, unsure of how to respond. Whatever he was referring to was a mystery to her.

“Not so sure about that, but I swear I’ll do my best to help,” she promised.

He turned to leave her, and looked over his shoulder. “Oh, and Doc. Don’t forget to look in the box there on the dresser. There’s something special there that will look great on you.”

He wanted to tell her that Tristan had brought everything over for her, but it wasn’t his place to do it. All in good time, he thought, but hoped that he’d tell her soon. It could prove to be a long, miserable evening if Tristan didn’t address his feelings for her before they left. As Logan walked down the hallway, he prayed things would go smoothly.

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