Chapter Twenty-one

She woke to find the sheets completely removed from her and Julian’s lips latched onto her breast, drawing her nipple deep into the warm recesses of his mouth. Dazed, her hand fluttered to his head. A ball of lava formed in her belly. “What…what are you doing?”

He lifted his head, smiling down at her. “I was beginning to think you’d never wake up. It’s late in the afternoon.”

They hadn’t fallen asleep until the sun started to rise, and her muscles ached in a delicious way. When he hadn’t been doing crazy things to her body, they had nestled together, talking until they both passed out.

Sleep still fogged her brain as her lids fluttered open. There was a wicked glint to his azure eyes and a mischievous tilt to his sensual lips. He picked up her right hand, bringing it to his lips and sucking her finger into his mouth. She felt the pull all the way to her core.

“What are you doing?” she asked, breathless.

“I want you.”

“You have me,” she said, using the same words he had told her while on the couch.

“Do I?” He sat up, swinging his legs off the bed and standing in one fluid motion. “Prove it to me.”

Her heart thundered as she rose unsteadily. Things seemed to blur around the edges as her eyes locked with his. He gripped her shoulders, bringing her to her knees on the bed so that she was kneeling in front of him. The unspoken demand was clear, and her skin tingled.

She reached out, wrapping her hand around his cock without breaking eye contact. Moving her hand from his base to the head, she felt him swell in her palm.

“I woke up earlier, and all I could think about was you.” He brushed his knuckles across her cheek. “I can’t stop thinking about you— about this. It consumes my thoughts.”

She shuddered as his hand dropped to her breast, tweaking her nipple. Dipping forward, she darted her tongue out and circled his engorged head as she watched an array of emotions flicker across his striking features.

He groaned, staring at her with such intensity she felt like a goddess. She stroked his rim, laving the ridge with her tongue and then back to his head, lapping at the moisture beading there. “You like this?”

“Yeah…I like…a lot.”

Her tongue followed the length of his throbbing member. He reared against her as if she had done something rather drastic. “Oh, you like that more?”

His lips parted, and he nodded. She did it again, and this time her lips followed the path. His hand left her breast, balling in her hair, opening and closing mindlessly. She kind of liked him like this, completely vulnerable to her. It was usually the other way around.

Before long, he was cradling her head as she worked him with her lips and tongue. His groans sparked her own lust, boiling her from the inside. But then he reached between them, grasping her free hand and lowering it to her own sex.

Pulling back, she recoiled from what he was silently urging her to do. “I…I can’t.”

He lowered his chin, his heated gaze piercing hers. “You can.”

Her cheeks flamed with embarrassment even though her sex was throbbing, excited by the idea of pleasuring herself while she pleasured him. “Julian…”

Shifting slightly, he guided her hand down until she cupped herself. Then, as she watched him, his finger pushed hers inside. She moaned from the wicked act, her skin flushing for a whole different reason.

He guided her hand until she was doing it herself, then cupped the back of her head and urged her to pick up where she had stopped. Taking him in her mouth once more, she sucked harder as she thrust against her hand.

Julian’s eyes grew luminous. “Oh God,” he groaned, picking up rhythm, forcing her to take his full length as she slipped another finger into her wet folds.

Suddenly, he pulled away from her mouth and wrapped his own hand around the base of his member. “I want to watch you finish yourself,” he ordered roughly.

The erotic act of pleasuring herself while he watched made her dizzy. She wanted to refuse, but it seemed like her moral compass had fallen to the wayside. Unable to say no, she eased down onto her back and moved her fingers in and out. This wasn’t the first time she had touched herself, but with him watching it was so much more potent. Her toes curled as she came close to the edge.

He kneed her thighs apart and knelt between her legs, slowly stroking himself as his eyes followed her fingers in and out, covered in her arousal. “Harder,” he whispered.

And she did. Pumping her fingers, she arched her hips up to meet her own thrusts. Her head tipped back, and her soft moans filled the bedroom as she watched him through glazed-over eyes. Her hips came clear off the bed as she grinded against her fingers. Her heart was thundering deep in her chest and stomach. The need for him to be against her consumed her in a way that left her panting with want.

His scorching gaze followed her arousal as it ran down her thigh. Never breaking eye contact, he bent at the waist and lowered his mouth to her thigh. Using his tongue, he lapped up the slick moisture. The act toppled her right over the edge. She came, writhing shamelessly.

He climbed over her, his attention feral and possessive. Slipping an arm under her waist, he flipped her onto her belly. Her fingers dug into the sheets as Julian rained kisses down her spine, over her hips and her plump cheeks. Then he drew her to her knees, using his thigh to push her legs farther apart.

She was primed, ready, her sex filling with anticipation. This…this was what she’d needed, what she desired so badly. For him to take her, to fill her. His tip probed her moist entrance, teasing her until she squirmed.

“Tell me,” he said, holding her still as he ran the edge of his cock over her swollen lips. “Tell me you want this.”

She threw her head back. “Yes! Yes!”

He thrust into her, gripping her hips with bruising force. He pulled her back against him as he plunged into her savagely. He pressed his lips to her damp temple, cupping her sex in his hand as he continued to pump his hips. “This is mine,” he told her, voice thick. “It always will be.”

She broke apart, shattering into a thousand tiny pieces as her release crashed through her and milked his cock with such force that he growled. She cried out his name over and over again as he drove into her. Julian’s arms tightened around her. One more deep thrust and he came, shouting her name. Panting and slick with sweat, he brought her down to the bed.

Minutes, maybe hours, passed before either of them could form a coherent thought, let alone a whole sentence. He tugged her across his chest, running his hand through her hair idly. They lay together, tangled in each other’s arms, while Julian made her laugh with his twisted take on current affairs and she fascinated him with tales of her training and first battle.

Her cell phone beeped from the bedside table. She didn’t remember dropping it there when she returned to her apartment. Reluctantly, she wiggled out of his embrace and snatched her cell. Flipping it open, she quickly scrolled to her texts while Julian dropped a line of delicious kisses down her spine.

“I could nibble right here,” he murmured, catching the flesh just above her hip between his teeth. “Or here…”

She glanced over her shoulder at him, grinning. “You’re insufferable.”

He chuckled against the small of her back. “You like my kind of suffering.”

That she did, but she opened Luke’s text: U need to go to Nate NOW. Her heart sank, and, just like that, the cocoon around them unraveled. Reality crashed over her. She was in trouble, big trouble.

Julian stilled behind her. “What is it?”

Snapping her phone shut, she twisted around. Concern—for her—dampened the heat in his eyes. She cupped his cheek, leaned in, and kissed him. When she pulled back, she forced a smile. “Nothing, but I have to get ready and go.”

His gaze dropped to the phone in her hand. “It’s the Sanctuary?”

She nodded. “I need to go to Nathaniel. If I don’t, there’s a good chance he’ll come here.”

A different kind of heat flared in his eyes. “Let him.”

She kissed him again. “It’ll be okay. Nathaniel has been like a father to me. He’ll be pissed, but he’ll get over it.” She hoped that was the case.

He pulled her against him, holding her tightly to his chest. He rested his chin atop her head. “I don’t want you to go back there.”

“Julian…”

“Because I can’t follow you there,” he said. No Fallen or minion could enter the Sanctuary, as the ground was blessed. “If something were to happen, I can’t help.”

Warmth spread through her chest as she wiggled free, catching his chin in her hand. She forced him to look at her. “Nothing is going to happen to me there. I’ll be okay. You have nothing to worry about.”

He didn’t let go at first, but then he did release his hold…and followed her into the shower. And when they stood under the hot spray of water, he stared down at her with such tenderness in his gaze that she felt those tears again building behind her eyes. Then he lifted her, pressing her back against the tiled wall, entering her slowly. For a little while, as he brought her to the edge and back, she let herself forget what was waiting for her outside her apartment.

A few hours later, Lily walked through the front lobby of the Sanctuary. When Sandy didn’t respond to her greeting, she felt the flush of anger and embarrassment all the way to the tips of her ears. It was obvious Micah had not kept quiet. She was going to kick Micah again. She could see it, and it filled her with a vicious amount of happiness.

That pleasure was short-lived.

The moment she stepped inside Nathaniel’s office, a coldness settled over her skin and seeped into her bones. This was going to suck in more ways than she could count.

Nathaniel came out of one of the smaller rooms, dressed in full evening attire. Lily stared, wide-eyed. She couldn’t help it. He was a handsome man—okay, more than just handsome. He was one of the best-looking men around, and in all his current finery he would even give Julian a run for his money.

The only thing misplaced was the black tie that hung around his neck undone. Lily had a sinking suspicion that she had held him up. Nathaniel attended a lot of the “important” dinners in the city, keeping an eye on politicians. Most likely Senator Sharpe and his cronies.

And she had royally screwed that up judging by the displeasure on his face.

“Do you have any idea what I was pulled out of?” he asked, but before she could answer, he continued. “I was at a dinner—a fund-raiser hosted by Senator Sharpe. The same one we know is tied to Asmodeus. I was there to see if I could gain any insight on what he was doing. However, that didn’t work out, now did it?”

“I’m so—”

“Don’t apologize,” he cut her off.

She fidgeted by the door, trying to smile. It came across as a grimace. “I guess Luke told you?”

Nathaniel didn’t respond as he walked past her, slamming the door shut. She jumped a good three inches off the ground.

“I should explain—I mean, I can explain.” He stopped in front of her. All six foot six inches of him glowered down at her. She swallowed heavily. “Nathaniel, I—”

“There is nothing you could possibly ever say that would explain to me why you attacked one of your own in favor of a Fallen. Absolutely nothing, Lily.” He didn’t mince words. “Do you even know how disappointed I am right now?”

Oh, she could take a guess. It probably ranked somewhere near epic level. She stared down at the floor. The weight of his disapproval and anger pounded on her. “Yes.”

“No. I don’t believe you do know.” He prowled a small circle around her. “I never thought I would hear myself say this, but here I am. I don’t believe anything you’re about to tell me.”

She couldn’t really remember when she had seen him this mad. She had pulled some pretty wild stunts as a teenager, but even then he looked at her fondly. Now, when Lily had the courage to sneak a peek at him, his stare was as cold as glaciers.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” he repeated as he grabbed her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. “You attacked Micah. Nearly broke his damn jaw. And all you can say is ‘I’m sorry’?”

“He kind of deserved it?” she joked weakly.

His grip tightened. “Are you fucking serious?”

Her eyes went wide. There was a chance that joking had been a very bad idea. “I know I have a lot to explain and I will. Give me a chance.”

He stared at her for a hard moment before releasing her. He threw his hand up at her to talk.

“Julian had walked away from Micah,” said Lily, even though his eyes narrowed warningly. “Micah tried to attack him, and I couldn’t let him.” Need a good reason, one that does not involve attraction. “Not after all the times Julian has come to my aid. I couldn’t let him be taken down like that.”

His brows shot straight up, and then he laughed. “You think to lie to me? You’re beyond infatuated with Julian! Enough to risk everything you have worked for!”

“I am not infatuated with him,” she denied, and God, it sounded lame.

“Damn it, Lily. I don’t need this right now.” He went to his desk. “I don’t need you becoming the next big problem.”

Her skin prickled. She closed her eyes, wetting her lips nervously. “What do you want me to say?”

“You can’t say what I want you to say,” he responded quietly. “You and I both know the truth, and half of the circle already suspects the worst. All eyes are on you.”

Yeah, she figured that out when Micah accused her, but to hear Nathaniel say it was like getting kicked in the gut. She stepped forward. “You don’t think it’s me?” she whispered.

He looked down at her. “I think you have gotten yourself into something very…complicated.”

She plopped down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “Nathaniel, I would never betray the Sanctuary. I don’t want people thinking that.”

He shook his head. “You should’ve thought of that. Before. Now the damage is done. Your reputation is scarred, and I hope whatever it is you think you have with Julian was worth what you have done.”

She frowned at him. “Julian has nothing to do with this.”

Nathaniel came back around the desk, sitting in the chair opposite her. “Do you even have a clue what you’ve done? Not only to yourself, but to the entire Sanctuary? The circle suspects you, Lily. They won’t be searching for the real culprit.”

“Then I will,” she answered. “Luke and…we will.”

He watched her carefully. “I think Luke is even more disappointed than I am.”

“Luke will get over it.” She ran her hand over the mark on her thigh. “I mean, I will talk to Luke.”

“Julian is Fallen, Lily. Did you happen to forget about Anna? Do you really think Luke, of all people, is going to ‘get over it’?”

Her fingers stilled. “Julian is different.”

“I’m sure Anna thought Crosio was different, too.”

She gaped at him. No one had spoken the name of the Fallen that had killed Anna. Crosio had only lived a few hours after Anna’s death was discovered. In a rage, Luke had destroyed him on his own.

“You forget once they lose their grace it’s in their nature to manipulate and deceive. Especially to get what they want, and they will stop at nothing to achieve it. You cannot trust Julian. Never forget that.”

An ugly thing in her reared its head. All of them treated her as if her instincts were that of a naïve child who wanted to believe the best in everything. They forgot Lily had witnessed firsthand how devious the Fallen could be. A roaring heat blossomed in her, intense and consuming.

Nathaniel closed his eyes, sighing. “I see it’s already too late.”

Her hands clenched. “Too late for what?”

“You already trust him.”

She thought about saying no, but mentally said screw it. Nathaniel was already mad. “Yes.”

The tips of his slender fingers tapped along his chin as he studied her. “How far has your relationship progressed?”

Her entire face puckered up. There was no way in holy hell she was going to talk about this with him. She’d rather face a roomful of deadheads on crack than discuss her sexual activities.

“I don’t like this topic any more than you do,” he offered.

“Then don’t ask.”

He leaned forward. “If you’ve progressed to a sexual relationship with him, then I need to know. You’ve already proven a liability out there with what you did to Micah. If he attacks a Nephilim, I need to know you will be able to fight him.”

“How would me having sex with Julian prevent me from fighting him?” she demanded, cheeks burning. “That’s the most ridiculous thing.”

“Do you know nothing of the Fallen, Lily? Have you forgotten everything I’ve taught you?” He stood, running his hands through his hair. “If you’ve had sex with him, then you’ve bonded with him. You’d never be able to fight him. He’ll always—always know where you are. I don’t even know if hallowed ground could stop him if he wants to come here for you.” He turned, facing her. “Do you have any idea how much jeopardy that puts the Sanctuary in?”

Shit. How could she have forgotten that? But Julian was different. He would never use what happened between them as a way to get inside the Sanctuary. And he didn’t seem to know that he could follow her here. But his warning, before he caved to her pleas, came back to her.

Color rose in her cheeks. “Julian is different. He’s my friend—that’s all. But if he were to hurt one of us, I would be able to fight him.”

“Micah—”

“Unprovoked and without due cause,” she retorted angrily. “He tried to sneak up on Julian. Micah’s lucky I stopped his idiotic attack, because I doubt he would have successfully rendered Julian helpless or walked away from the attack.”

“Lily, this situation may spiral out of control. Once the circle…”

“Why does it have to spiral out of control?” she demanded. “You’re acting like I’ve done something horrendous. All I did was kick Micah, and you know what? I’d do it again.”

He arched a brow. “That’s nice, Lily. That’s why I must forbid you from leaving the Sanctuary without my permission.” He held up his hand the moment she opened her mouth. “You will not disappear for an entire day and expect Luke to cover for you. Each night I expect you back in the Sanctuary.”

She flew out of her seat. “You have to be kidding. You can’t do that!”

He stared back, eyes like hard stone. “Damn straight, I can! Do I need to remind you who is boss here?”

He was treating her like she was twelve! There was no way she could stand for this. She knew the circle would see what she did as a travesty of unheard proportions, but to limit her freedom like she was a prisoner was outrageous.

He turned away. “You may go to your chamber.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You have no right to forbid me to leave here.”

Nathaniel whirled, crossing the distance between them in one second. “I damn well can!”

“Nowhere in my Contract does it give you or any of them power like that. You’re acting like…you’re my father or something. You’re just my boss, Nathaniel. You just hold my Contract. You can’t stop me!”

“Stop you from what?” His arms tensed like he wanted to shake her, or worse. “Stop you from getting yourself killed or getting another Nephilim killed? Stop you from seeing Julian? Is that what this is all about? You will disobey me for him?”

Lily stood her ground. “Don’t make me choose.”

Nathaniel faltered, staring at her. Shock flickered in his eyes, and then a cold mask settled over his handsome face. “If you think there is a choice, then you’re sadly mistaken. There is no choice, Lily. It’s only your duty to the Sanctuary. Do what you will. You’re correct. I cannot stop you.”

She let out a ragged breath. There is no choice. It’s only your duty to the Sanctuary. Those words burned through her. Without saying another word, she headed for the door. Nathaniel stopped her.

“If you ever go after another Nephilim again because of him, or put any of them in jeopardy due to your misguided faith, I will end this,” he advised coolly. “And you will be punished, Lily. I will dissolve your Contract.”

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