Veiled Innocence

Chapter Ten

Present…

Tick, tick, tock.

“Do you know what day it is today, Addison?”

Here we go again, but today I can’t bring myself to step inside his office. I see Doc sitting in his usual chair and I anxiously smooth my hands down my thighs.

Of course I know what day it is. It’s the day Daniel…I can’t even think it.

“Why don’t you take a seat?”

He seems as uneasy as I am.

“Addison?”

I don’t answer, but that’s nothing new. I don’t want to be here today. I don’t want to be anywhere.

“Please, Addison, come inside. Sit with me.”

I press my fingers to the outside of my legs but otherwise remain unmoving.

“We don’t have to talk, okay? We can just sit.”

I wonder if he really means that and if the concern in his eyes is real. It’s probably paid for concern.

“It’s okay to be sad, Addison,” he tries to reassure me.

He raises a hand and beckons me to step inside. Every day, he tries to get me to give something that I no longer have inside me. Trust.

“Is that how you feel, Addison? Sad?”

Tick, tick, tock.

With the black shadow looming, always threatening to swallow what little emotion I have left, I finally put an end to today’s session.

“I feel nothing.”

Past…

I peered out at Addison as she watched me from the side of the road and then inclined her head.

Squinting, I tried to make out the words on the sign. I couldn’t read it from where I was, and before I could ask, Addison was crossing the street.

Stay or go? Well, fuck. I’d come this far, what was a little farther going to do? Lead me down a path straight toward temptation? I think I’d already made that decision when I’d driven over to temptation’s house.

With the roads deserted, I drove out to the middle lane and then continued into the drive of—Oakland Cemetery.

What the fuck was going on? And where the hell was Addison?

Deciding enough was enough, I turned the truck off and pushed the door open.

A cemetery. I had to admit, this was not what I’d been expecting when I came to her tonight, and yes, that’s what I had done—come to her.

I could feel my confusion changing to concern when I realized I hadn’t seen Addison since she’d run out into the street.

What if something had happened to her?

Stepping outside, I slammed the door and made my way around the front to the passenger side. There were no floodlights on this side, just a perimeter fence and darkness.

Straining to see, I finally gave in to my apprehension and hissed, “Addison.”

My heart thumped so hard, I counted each pulse it made while I waited for something—anything. When I got no response, I tried again, feeling the panic start to take ahold of me. “Addison.”

Sometimes, as I was about to discover, panic of the unknown can be more comforting than panic of the known.

“Yes, Grayson?”

Just like that, with those two words, Addison sealed our fate and I did nothing to change its course.

I’d waited until he got out of the truck before approaching. I didn’t want his escape to be as easy as driving away. Standing in the small stone alcove of the gate, I knew it would be best to wait until he stepped away from the lit area. That way, any cars driving by wouldn’t be able to see us.

I wanted no excuses, no reason for him to worry, but I could see my silence had caused just as much concern as my presence would have. He turned to me, and I finally took a moment to really look at him the way I wanted to.

His hair was still pulled back but several pieces had now escaped and been pushed behind his ears. The darker stubble lining his square jaw made my fingers tingle with the need to touch.

“Oh, thank God,” he whispered, sounding relieved.

I thought he would move away from me once he knew I was safe. Instead, he reached out and squeezed my shoulder.

“I thought something had happened to you.”

I don’t think he realized that he was slowly massaging me.

“Jesus, don’t do that again. Okay?”

Taking another step closer, I agreed quietly. “Okay.”

He licked his lips and removed his hands, and I saw in his eyes the minute he decided it was time for some distance.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked. His casual black sports jacket shifted with the breeze, and all of a sudden I couldn’t remember why I was there. All I knew was that I wanted to touch him.

“Addison?”

His voice had the ability to make all of the noise inside my head cease.

Blinking up at him, I finally answered, “Yes?”

“What are you doing out here?”

Moving in so my jacket brushed the front of his, I finally reached to touch him, but he grabbed my wrist, holding it away.

“No,” he told me, and his voice was so stern I probably should have heeded the warning…but I didn’t.

“No?”

His head bent down, and when his face was a hairsbreadth from my own, he repeated, “No. Tell me why you’re here.”

His breath was warm as it ghosted over my lips, and I couldn’t help but part my own, hoping by some miracle I could taste him on my tongue.

“Why are you here? That’s a better question, don’t you think?”

“I know better than this.”

I reached up needing to touch him, but he took that hand too, holding them both prisoner. Being held in place with nowhere to go elicited a hunger in me that I didn’t yet understand. “Know better than what?”

“Than to be here.”

“Then go,” I offered.

That was all it took. He spun me around, backed me up against the truck, and had my arms pinned by my head so fast I lost my breath. Leaning in beside me until his mouth was by my ear, he rasped in an unsteady voice, “I can’t.”

I turned my head to face him and saw all of his turmoil, and finally, the full impact of his desire. “Then don’t.”

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

Life is full of ironies, because with him, I’d never felt more alive.

As I stood there, I could feel the pulse in her wrists beating beneath my fingers.

“Kiss me,” she pleaded, straining against my hold. “Just once. So I’ll know what it’s like.”

She didn’t need to beg; I’d made up my mind. The only question that remained was how I was going to stop once I started. Her lips parted, and as her tongue slipped out to moisten them, the time for waiting was over. I was drawn to her in a way I couldn’t describe.

Lowering my head, I slowly tasted her upper lip with the tip of my tongue. She didn’t move, not even to breathe, as I did it again. This time, as I was about to pull back, those soft, plump lips of hers closed around my tongue and sucked it inside her mouth.

I couldn’t help the groan that escaped me. It was as much from the sweet torture she’d put me through as it was from the searing arousal she was currently igniting.

When her mouth slipped away, I chased it with my own and pushed my tongue inside, taking what I wanted without any thought of the consequences. Slow disappeared as her body shifted, trying to get closer to mine, and I didn’t dare release her.

Addison’s mouth was sweet, and her body...it was fucking sinful.

I lifted my head, my harsh breathing now matching hers. Her nose brushed against mine as she softly touched my lip with her tongue. My hands tightened where they were.

Once is a mistake, I can play that off. But twice...can I really let this happen?

As she whispered, “Again,”—I knew the answer.

Releasing her, I trailed my fingers down her cheek and then cupped the side of her face before kissing her again. This time she was more than ready to reciprocate. She grabbed the side of my jacket and pulled me to her as I wrapped my arms around her waist, hauling her up against my body.

The moan that left her was raw, sexual, and made my cock harder than I thought possible. I cupped her ass and slammed her back against the truck. Her legs wrapped around my hips, and I ground my erection against her.

Heaven or hell? At this stage, it could have been either. I didn’t care.

Her fingers found their way into my hair, and she angled her head, pushing her tongue deeper inside my mouth. I felt her pull the tie free, causing my hair to fall down in a curtain around us.

For a moment, our mouths stopped moving, our tongues stopped tasting, and I held her there, trapped against the side of my truck. I took from her each breath she gave and returned it with one of my own.

“This is crazy. We can’t…I can’t be doing this. Not with you.”

I knew right then after only one taste, that if I couldn’t have her, there would be nobody else.

Trying to keep the connection, I ran my fingertips over the hard line of his jaw and then pushed his hair back behind his ears.

“You’re so sexy.”

He let out a self-derisive laugh and shook his head.

“What? You don’t think so?”

“I don’t think that you should think I’m sexy.”

I couldn’t help the thrill of satisfaction I got when he squeezed my ass and pushed against me. He closed his eyes as if he was trying to get himself under control.

“Well, this doesn’t help me to think otherwise.”

“Addison,” he growled. “You’re trouble.”

“And you’re hard. So I’m guessing you either like trouble, or you think I’m sexy too.”

Releasing me, Grayson ran his hands around the waist of my coat and then drew one of my long brown curls between his thumb and forefinger.

“I think…we shouldn’t be doing this.”

“But we did.”

He took a step back and agreed, “Yes. We did.”

Pushing away from the truck, I raised a hand and laid it flat on his jacket, over his heart.

“I want to do it again.”

Turning away from me, he shoved his fingers through his hair and scuffed a foot into the ground before asking the question I knew would come.

“Why don’t you tell me why we’re here?”

I could tell he was trying to move on and push aside what just happened. Maybe even convince himself that it had been a one-time deal.

I let him believe what he would in that moment and told him the truth.

“I’m here to see my brother.”

“Your brother?”

“Yes,” I confirmed as I made my way past him. “I’m here to see Daniel.”

Present…

Open.

Eyes—open.

I lie still amongst the flowers and listen for it, but it’s not there—there’s no tick, tick, tock. There’s nothing.

The dream is familiar. This is where I meet Daniel, but this detail…this silence is not familiar. Like a whisper on the wind, I hear Grayson as clearly as if I’m back in his classroom. “Bukowski once wrote, find what you love and let it kill you.”

Whipping my head around, I look for him.

Is he here? Did I somehow pull him into this dream?

I see nothing, and still, there’s no ticking of my watch.

Defeated, I lie back down in the fields of purple, and just before my eyes close, I hear, “I found you.”

My eyes snap open, and there it is.

It’s back, and he’s gone—tick, tick, tock.