Present…
“Let’s go back to the photo you have on your wall of Cupid and Psyche.”
“Okay,” I agree.
“Venus plays an important role in that tale, wouldn’t you say?”
“I suppose so, yes.” Curious where Doc’s going with this, I nod.
“She’s the reason Psyche is originally sent away and the reason she meets Cupid. Not to mention, the very person who ultimately brings them together in the end.”
“Yes, but only because she tried to have Psyche killed.”
Doc thinks about this a moment and then says, “But because of Venus, she is swept away by Cupid, who in the end, saves Psyche.”
Why is Doc trying to make it sound like Venus had done these two a favor? It was fate, not Venus, that had brought them back together. I consider him carefully, trying to understand his logic.
“Okay, so?” I ask, truly stumped.
“So do you want to tell me why you hate Helene so much?”
My face scrunches up as I question, “Helene? What’s she got to do with this?”
“Well, isn’t she who you imagine when you think of Venus in this story? That photo is how you see yourself, am I right? As Psyche?”
“So what if it is?” I ask, feeling surly as hell. Helene had taken everything away from me. First Daniel and then him.
“So it makes sense that she’s Venus in this story, and she set out to ruin you. Isn’t that how you see it?”
I guess he was right, but as I remember what happened that day and the days that followed, I shake my head.
“She didn’t set out to do it. She just did.”
Past…
“Grayson? What are you doing?”
Miss Shrieve’s voice cut through the quiet parking lot like a gunshot, and her aim was as accurate as a sharpshooter.
“Look—” Grayson started.
“No. What the hell do you think you’re doing with her?”
She gestured at me with her eyes wide as I got to my feet. It was as though the entire world was closing in. I felt the air being sucked out from around us until all that remained were tense questions.
“Are you out of your mind?”
“Helene—” Grayson tried again, but he was quickly cut off as my furious coach stepped forward and pointed at him.
“You were kissing her!” she shouted, appalled.
I wrapped my arms around my waist and stepped up beside him to say something, anything, when Miss Shrieve turned to me.
“And you! Aren’t you in enough trouble? This…this is just unacceptable!”
Spinning on her foot to storm away, I was surprised when Grayson reached out and took her wrist, pulling her back around to face us. The shock was evident on her face as she looked down to where he was holding her.
“Let. Me. Go,” she demanded.
“Not until you let me explain,” Grayson pushed, adamant that she listen.
Believing it was best if I stayed quiet, I shrank back and waited to see what would happen.
“Explain what? You were kissing a student!”
Shaking his head, he told her, “You don’t understand.”
“You’re damn right I don’t! Was that your way of comforting her?” She let out a scornful laugh and tried to yank her arm away. “Let me go, Grayson.”
“No. Not until you listen to me. Please?”
“Why? Give me one good reason why I should?”
“Because it’s my fault,” I finally spoke up.
She cut her eyes to me, pinning me where I stood, before disagreeing. “No, Addison. He should know better.” She tugged on her arm again. “Now let go of me.”
Shaking my head in denial, I stressed to her, “But it was me, I was the one who—”
“Addison, he is your teacher. You are his student. I don’t care what you think you did. He should have said no, end of story.”
“No!” I cried out. She was making him sound like a monster. “That’s not the end of the story!”
Grayson spoke up. “Addison, please.”
“What?” I demanded, starting to feel my panic rise.
“She’s right,” he told me quietly, and it was as if someone had reached in and tore out my heart.
“Of course I am!” Miss Shrieve hissed, as if she felt she had to talk quietly or get in trouble for conspiracy.
“Not about everything,” he clarified. “But she is right that you are my student, and I should have waited. I should have waited for you.”
“Are you listening to yourself?” my coach asked in a way that implied he was insane. “Is this because of your father, Grayson? Were you…I don’t know, looking for comfort?”
Both of us remained silent as she grappled for a plausible excuse.
“Oh, I see. This has been going on longer than that.” She paused for a minute and then sucked in a quick breath. “Did you…” She trailed off and then tried again. “Addison...your lip...”
A murderous look crossed Grayson’s face. “God no, Helene! I’m not a fucking monster.”
Taken aback by Grayson’s outburst, it took me a minute to react, but it was time Miss Shrieve knew the whole truth. Since she thought she knew everything, at least I could exonerate him of this.
“My father hit me. That wasn’t the first time. It was just the first time he did it where you could see.”
For a moment, she seemed to soften and in slipped the one emotion I never handled well—pity. “Oh, Addison, why didn’t you tell someone?”
I turned to Grayson, who stood beside me looking utterly shell-shocked, and then I glanced back at her.
“I did.”
This was not going well. Fuck.
I could feel both pairs of eyes on me, and all I could think was—this is it, it’s all over.
“You told him? A man who’s been taking advantage of you?”
“No. It’s not like that,” Addison tried to defend, but it was no use.
Helene was only seeing this one way, and it was the way I should have seen it—black-and-white. For her, there was no immoral shade of grey.
“Yes, it is, Addison.” Looking back to me, she informed me in a voice full of disgust, “You have to understand, I’m going to report this.”
I rubbed my forehead, stressed, and then swallowed. Yes, I understood but fuck…
“One day.”
“What?” she snapped, and I didn’t dare look away as I begged for the first time in my life.
“Give me one day. I’ll turn myself in tomorrow.”
Her eyes darted to Addison, but I didn’t dare.
“Why?”
Trying to think of a good excuse, I clung to my dead father once again, and lied—that which is done out of love is always beyond good and evil. I understand.
Would he understand this? Were my thoughts good or evil? I didn’t know anymore.
“I need to finish clearing up some financial matters with my father’s estate. Sign some paperwork, get it squared away before whatever happens, happens.”
Relenting, she told me, “One day. That’s it. If I don’t see you here by 3 p.m. tomorrow, I’ll report you myself. And stay away from her, you hear me?” She took a step away and said, “Addison, come with me.”
I felt Addison’s hand brush my arm and I nodded. Yes…go with Helene. She’ll protect you from me.
Or was she protecting me from Addison? I didn’t know anymore.
I was starting to think that as wrong as we were for one another, we were also the only two people that were perfectly suited for the other.
“Don’t do this, not to protect me. You did nothing wrong,” she told me, her blue eyes full of tears.
That was the problem. I’d done everything wrong. As she moved farther away from me, I had nothing I could say to comfort her because no matter what she wanted, the wheels were in motion. Nothing could stop the inevitable from happening.
There was no escaping it—my crimes had finally caught up to my passion.
Present…
“She wouldn’t listen to me.”
The silence is smothering as tears blur my eyes, just like they did that day.
“Who, Helene?”
“Yes,” I whisper, remembering how I felt when she took me away from Grayson that afternoon. Helpless, heartbroken, and at the same time—furious.
“What would you have told her if you could?” Doc’s question pulls me from my memories.
“That it was my fault. That he didn’t want what happened.”
Doc shakes his head from side to side in disagreement. “But that’s a lie.” Again, the silence stretches between us. “Isn’t it Addy?”
I swallow and blink back my tears. “He didn’t even know he wanted it until I…”
“What, made him see you?” Doc suggests.
“Yes.”
“I’m pretty sure he’d tell you differently.”
“And how would you know?” I snap, my sadness beginning to overwhelm me and alter my mood to one of anger.
“I don’t. Not for certain. But why would a man—a sensible, seemingly good man—do what he did, unless he wanted to?”
“Stop talking in circles!” I yell, jumping up from my seat and balling my fists.
Sizing me up, Doc asks with infuriating calm. “Is that what I’m doing?”
“Yes!”
“No, Addy, I’m trying to make you see that it wasn’t your fault.”
“What?” I ask, this time laughing humorlessly.
“You once told me that you didn’t want to be pitied because of what everyone else thinks, but I’ve never been overly concerned with what everyone else thinks. Maybe…you should be pitied for what you think.”
I close my eyes, trying to block him out, but he continues.
“You think you’re alone because of what you did. No. Uh-uh. You’re alone because of what you didn’t do.”
Opening my eyes, I wait for whatever he is going to say.
“You didn’t walk away.”