When Day Breaks

CHAPTER 20

SWANNY awoke slowly, gradually climbing from the deep sleep he’d fallen into once Eden had tucked herself into his body. He was usually a morning person and never wasted time lying in bed once he awakened. At home or even on a mission there was always too much to do just to lie around and be lazy, but this morning?

He was sated and utterly content with Eden sleeping nestled in the crook of his arm, her head pillowed on his shoulder. He could spend all day just lying with her, holding her. He knew she needed time to heal before they made love again, but he was just as content to enjoy the intimacy that cloaked them.

He listened to her soft breathing and ran his fingers lightly through her blond hair, just wanting to touch her in some way. He checked the bedside clock and nearly groaned. He’d have to get her up in just a few minutes so she’d have plenty of time to get ready for her shoot. And all he wanted was to continue holding her in his arms, allowing the memory of their lovemaking to flash in his mind over and over.

Never had he experienced such a strong connection to another woman. Or even another person. His team and KGI were his family now, but nothing compared to the way Eden made him feel. Like he mattered. That he wasn’t just a man on a standard mission, in and out without any kind of emotional bond. He wasn’t just a hired hand, he was a part of a team, but while he had a strong bond with his teammates, what was between him and Eden far surpassed what he felt for KGI—his family.

KGI—and his team—would always have his loyalty, and until now he would have said that nothing would ever be stronger than his commitment to his team. But Eden had changed all of that for him. He supposed this was what had happened to Rio and Steele, the leaders of the other two teams. They’d given KGI their absolute loyalty and the team came first, but after meeting their women, now their wives, he could understand why KGI now came second to their own families and to the women they loved.

It had happened to the Kelly brothers as well. Donovan had just met and married his wife and he was taking a more administrative role, as were Sam and Garrett since they had new babies. More and more the three brothers who’d founded KGI were giving more responsibility to the teams led by Rio, Steele, and then Nathan and Joe, the two men Swanny served under with Skylar and Edge.

And he did consider them family. They’d taken him in and offered him acceptance. He’d never forget that or take it for granted, just what all they’d done for him. They’d given him purpose again when he was at loose ends and had no direction after coming off that last tour that took him out of active duty.

But now he had Eden, and he wasn’t at all sure where this would take them, but he knew without a doubt that she was a complete game changer for him. Already his priorities were shifting. He’d basically taken over her protection, although Nathan and Joe were technically in charge. But they seemed to realize that there was something between him and Eden, and they’d let him take the lead without argument—and thank God for that, because for the first time ever he would have openly defied their command when it came to Eden. He wanted this done his way. He wanted to be the one in charge of Eden’s safety, and it wasn’t that he didn’t trust his team, but they didn’t have the personal stake in this job that Swanny had. He wanted to be the one who shielded her, kept her safe. With him at all times. Such possessiveness was completely alien to him.

It wasn’t that he was ever an asshole to the women he’d been with, but neither had he felt an overwhelming sense of possessiveness. The urge to keep her with him at all times. Not to let her go.

It hit him with startling clarity that in his mind she was his. She belonged to him. Not that a woman was some thing or chattel to “own,” but his reaction to her was staggering. He also realized that this shoot was only a few days, and that might be all the time he had with her.

Panic surged because he hadn’t given thought to the longevity of their relationship, and it occurred to him now that he wanted more. He didn’t want to be a fling, her first lover, and then have her move on to someone else.

Their careers would take them to opposite corners of the world and he had no idea how they could possibly work that out. But damn it, there had to be a way. He didn’t want to let her go.

If this was what being in love was all about, then he knew he’d already fallen hard for her. But the big question mark was how did she feel about him? He knew she cared for him. Hell, she’d gone out of her way to assure him that his scars and appearance didn’t bother her. And she’d wanted him to be her first lover, so that had to mean something. But what?

All he knew was that he was already dreading the end of the shoot when she no longer needed KGI’s services. Although the threat to her, according to her father, was still out there, so if that threat wasn’t eliminated by the time the shoot was over, he might well want to keep them on.

He wanted any threat to her to be eliminated no matter how it was done. He wanted nothing to ever touch her or hurt her, but at the same time, as soon as the threat was eliminated she’d no longer need him or KGI, and he wasn’t looking forward to the end of what they were sharing.

Eden stirred softly beside him, and he forwent his thoughts and turned to face her. She smiled sleepily up at him.

“Good morning,” she said sweetly.

“Morning, honey. How do you feel this morning?”

Her cheeks pinkened as color rose up her neck and into her face.

“I’m fine, I think. I haven’t really moved around much, but you took such good care of me last night I can’t imagine that I’ll suffer any discomfort today.”

“As much as I’d love to stay in bed with you all morning, unfortunately we’ve got to get up and get moving if we’re going to be on time for your shoot.”

She grimaced, showing the same regret he felt.

“At least we have lunch together to go shopping,” she said brightly.

Though it wasn’t something he was looking forward to, being pushed into some posh, stuffy tux that he was not accustomed to wearing, the thought of getting to spend time—any time—with her quickly dissolved his misgivings over having to gussy himself up.

“It’s a date,” he said, kissing her lips. “Now why don’t you hit the bathroom and do your thing. I’ll use the other bathroom and take a quick shower and then we can hit the road. I’ll call the others and make sure they’re set and ready to go and have the cars ready and waiting in the back.”

She sighed but pushed aside the bedcovers, baring her nude body to him. His dick hardened to the point of pain, but he kept a sheet over it until she disappeared into the bathroom. He was going to have to take care of the matter of his erection in the shower because there was no way in hell he could endure this kind of pain all damn morning. And for the most part, other than the very few women he’d had sex with, his hand had been the only regular release for his dick. Just imagining Eden and remembering their lovemaking the night before would finish him off in a minute flat as soon as he hit the shower.

Twenty minutes later and feeling only slight relief in his aching balls, he went in search of her to find her collecting up clothing and a host of other feminine stuff of whose uses he had no idea.

“Ready?” Eden asked, a broad smile curving her pretty features.

“Yep. No workout today, huh?”

She grimaced. “I try to do it every other day. I probably should do a daily regimen, and for a while I did when David and Micah took over my workouts. We worked out, ran and worked on self-defense. But after I got into better shape and more toned and lean, we cut back to three days a week. Sometimes more if I just need to work out my frustrations, but who wants to put themselves through that kind of torture every day?”

Swanny laughed. “Hate to say this, honey, but you’re talking to a man who has a very strict training and workout schedule. When I’m not on a mission, that is.”

“Of course,” Eden grumbled. “People just aren’t naturally blessed with the kind of body you have.”

God, but he loved the way she didn’t even seem to notice the extreme scarring and seemed to really like his body. The entire package. No one had ever made him feel this comfortable. Even with the Kellys and their family he was still reserved, and most of the time he averted the scarred side of his face even though he knew his scars didn’t matter to them.

“I could say the same for you, the world’s most beautiful woman,” he said dryly. “And you’re all natural. No enhancements. Your kind of beauty just doesn’t happen to most women.”

“No, I don’t have enhancements, though I’ve had a few complaints that my breasts are too big,” she said in a shy voice.

“What the fuck?”

Swanny stared at her in utter bewilderment. Too big? They were fucking perfect. Plump, perfectly rounded with nipples that were a delectable shade of pink. And they filled the palms of his hands perfectly, as if she were made especially for him.

She flushed again. “Most top models are tall, very slender with not much cleavage. I have the tall and slender part down, but it’s not like I could do a lot about my breast size and I refused to have a reduction.”

Swanny looked at her in horror. “Breast reduction?” he croaked. “Who the hell suggested that to you? That’s the dumbest-ass thing I’ve ever heard of. You’re fucking perfect just the way you are.”

Her eyes glowed in response to his heartfelt explosion. “Most of my gigs are cool with it. Occasionally when I’m doing a runway show they’ve sized a dress to fit the ‘average’ model and so they bitch about having to alter all the clothing I’m modeling. One guy was a raging asshole and told me that not only were my breasts obscenely large but my ass was also too big.”

“Jesus,” Swanny bit out. “I’d love five minutes with the bastard. You can be damn sure if I did, he’d never make the mistake of criticizing you again. I’d ask him how he felt about a dick reduction.”

Eden burst into laughter, and she impulsively hugged Swanny to her. “I’m so happy around you. You just make me happy. I feel like I can be myself with you and not hide behind a facade or some fake pose for one of my photo sessions. I can’t tell you how freeing that is. Till now, I’ve only been able to say that about my father and brothers. They certainly keep me grounded, and if I ever did get too big for my britches they wouldn’t hesitate to have a come-to-Jesus session with me.”

“You make me happy too, Eden,” he said in a serious tone. “I know I sound like a broken record, but I have no idea why you chose me but I’m damn sure glad you did. What we had was not sex. We made love and until last night I really didn’t know the difference between the two.”

With anyone else he wouldn’t feel comfortable baring his soul. He was the quiet, reserved one on his team. Edge was too, but perhaps not to the degree Swanny was. Except for now. When it came to Eden. He wasn’t afraid to speak up and be vocal about how things needed to be. His teammates were probably thinking he’d gone off the deep end and, well, they wouldn’t really be wrong.

But with Eden, he felt completely at ease with sharing his thoughts, his emotions, and he was not abashed to put it out there how he felt about her. He wanted her to know that last night was every bit as special to him as it had been for her. He’d never imagined making love could be so all-consuming. A melding of souls, hearts and minds.

He felt as though he were as much a newbie at the act of making love as Eden had been herself. Two people finding each other together. Figuring out what pleased the other. He found it immensely satisfying that though Eden had been a virgin, she hadn’t shown any inhibitions, even before they’d consummated their relationship.

She’d been up front and honest with him from the start. She’d left no question as to what she wanted and that he was who she wanted. It was like Christmas, Valentine’s Day and his birthday all wrapped up together. Hell, he felt like a kid at Christmas, full of wonder and excitement over something fresh and new and so intimate.

He knew he needed to be as blunt and as straightforward as she’d been with him, and he also realized that he needed to ask her some very direct questions about what was between them and what she saw in the future and if he was going to play any part of that future.

But now wasn’t the time. He wanted no distractions for her shoot today, and he didn’t want her pondering his questions when she needed absolute focus for the day ahead.

Tonight. Tonight when they went to bed, he’d lay it out to her, provided he didn’t chicken out between now and then. But as he’d already reminded himself, she’d been nothing but straightforward with him and he owed her the same.

So when they were alone again, he would tell her what was on his mind and in his heart and just hope and pray that she was on the same wavelength.