When Dreams Tremble

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Leslie smiled softly. “I know.”

“How much longer will you be here?” Dev heard herself asking and knew it was

dumb. As if any answer wouldn’t hurt.

“I’m probably leaving tomorrow afternoon.”

Dev couldn’t hide her surprise. “So soon?”

“It’s been almost three weeks, Dev.”

“It doesn’t seem that long.” Dev moved closer to Leslie as a young man and

woman, chatting animatedly, hurried along the path past them in the direction of

the cabins. “But then again, sometimes a day here seems like forever.”

Leslie took in the woods, the glint of blue water through the trees, the warmth of

sunshine on her skin. “It hasn’t changed at all, has it?”

“Not much. Being here with you this summer reminds me of what it was like

when we were kids, and the future was so far away,” Dev said, her words

echoing with melancholy.

Leslie searched Dev’s soulful hazel eyes, recognizing the loneliness Dev had

never quite been able to hide, even behind her tough façade. They had always

seen one another’s truths. When they were together, the pieces of herself she

revealed to no one else slid silently, seamlessly, into place. Even now, she felt it.

But the feeling wouldn’t last, how could it? The past was a place that existed

only in wistful memories, softly colored by regrets and abandoned dreams. “But

it really was another lifetime.”

“I know,” Dev said hoarsely. It was hard not to accept that, when the present

was about to come crashing in. “Is Rachel coming today?”

Leslie was barely able to hide her surprise. “Yes.” She glanced at her watch.

“Her plane arrives around six.”

“My truck’s clean, if you need it.”

“She’s renting a car. Thanks.”

“You never said what she did.”

“She’s an attorney.”

Dev smiled. “I guess you have a lot in common. That’s nice.”

Leslie did not want to talk about Rachel with Dev. It was too much like all the

times that she had avoided talking to her about Mike. Her relationship with Dev

had always been private, intimate, something that was just theirs. Looking back,

she saw that they had never let the outside world touch it. They had kept it safe.

Right up until the end.

Leslie rested her Þ ngers lightly on Dev’s arm. “You were so special to me,

Dev.”

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Dev kissed Leslie softly on the cheek. “Thank you, Leslie.” She stepped back

and Leslie’s hand fell away. Dev’s eyes grew darker. “If I don’t see you, have a

safe trip back.”

“Enjoy the rest of the summer. I hope the work goes well.”

“Thanks. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Devon.” Leslie waited a second until Dev turned away, and then she

resumed walking toward the lodge to wait for Rachel.

Maybe she’d been wrong about the next twenty-four hours. Maybe the worst

was already over. Leslie took a shuddering breath, unable to imagine anything

worse than the pain of that goodbye.

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CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Leslie selected a bottle of red wine from her parents’ small but well-stocked

cellar, found two glasses and a corkscrew, and carried everything out to the

porch. She opened the bottle, poured a glass, and sipped it as she watched the

afternoon slide toward twilight.

Guests came and went, laughing together, strolling hand in hand, sharing the

special freedom of vacation in the beautiful setting. She tried to imagine herself

and Rachel spending a week in a place like this. She had difÞ culty creating the

picture, and when her thoughts inadvertently strayed to all the hours she and

Dev had spent sitting quietly talking by the lakeshore, she pulled herself back to

the present.

She reÞ lled her glass and reviewed the details of the cases she’d been working

on all week.

Just before eight, a gray Lincoln Town Car pulled into the lot. A second later,

Rachel stepped out. Leslie hadn’t seen her in three weeks, and her Þ rst glimpse

stirred a slight shock of surprise at how striking she was. Rachel was Leslie’s

height but subtly fuller in the breasts and hips, and altogether arresting in tailored

black slacks, low heels, and an open-collared, man-tailored white silk shirt.

Many an adversary had been lulled into complacency by Rachel’s ripe

sensuality, but Leslie knew that those sensuous features masked a decisive,

lethally predatory mind.

Leslie looked away to pour wine into the second glass and give herself a few

seconds to settle her nerves. She looked up at the sound of footsteps on the

stairs.

“Hello, darling,” Rachel murmured, leaning down to kiss Leslie, her mouth

lingering for a few seconds before she moved away. With a

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sigh, she settled into the chair on the opposite side of the small table that held the

wine. “I certainly hope that glass is for me. I can use it.”

“How was the trip?” Leslie said, automatically handing the glass to Rachel. They

hadn’t touched in three weeks and hadn’t made love for several before that, and

the kiss had felt strangely foreign. Uneasily, Leslie chalked it up to their long

separation.

“Oh, the ß ight was all right,” Rachel said. “But I barely made it to the airport on

time, waiting for a courier to deliver Þ les to the ofÞ ce for the deps next week.”

She grimaced. “Sometimes I think the world is Þ lled with incompetents. No,

actually I know it is.”

“You really didn’t have to come all the way up here, Rach. I’ve booked a ß ight

back tomorrow afternoon.”

Rachel sipped her wine, her expression contained. “I’m on a nine o’clock ß ight

to Detroit tomorrow. I’ll be gone most of the week.”

“Oh,” Leslie said, oddly relieved. “Still, squeezing this stop in wasn’t necessary.”

“Well, I think it was.” Rachel’s voice was throaty as her eyes dropped to

Leslie’s mouth, then back to her eyes. “It’s been a hellacious month. I’ve been

putting in eighty-hour weeks, dealing with idiots for the most part, and I’ve got a

bit of a mineÞ eld ahead of me. Getting the asses of these CEOs at Pharmcore

out of the Þ re is going to take a bit of work.” She traced a Þ nger along the

edge of Leslie’s jaw. “I’ve missed you.”

Leslie forced a smile. She’d missed Rachel too. She’d missed discussing their

respective cases, devising strategy, celebrating victories. She’d missed Rachel’s

acerbic humor and her ceaseless energy. They understood one another’s need

to win, and she missed not needing to defend herself. What she hadn’t missed,

as she read the unmistakable message in Rachel’s eyes, were their intense, often

frantic sexual encounters. Rachel had always needed sex more than she did. It

was Rachel’s outlet, the way she vented her frustration and settled her nerves.

Leslie could always tell when Rachel was facing a difÞ cult trial because Rachel

wanted to see her more frequently. Then when they were together, Rachel was

physically more demanding, more aggressive. Leslie never minded, because she

often forgot about her own physical wants and having Rachel satisfy them, even

when she hadn’t realized she needed relief, was welcome.

“I’m sorry my visit turned out to be longer than I expected,” Leslie said, growing

more uncomfortable with her thoughts every second.

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“It doesn’t matter,” Rachel said. “I probably wouldn’t have been able to see

you anyhow.” She emptied her wineglass and set it aside, then leaned forward,

her face shadowed as night closed in around them.

“I’ve been thinking of all the things I want to do with you for the last two hours.

Let’s go somewhere so I can show you.”

Leslie’s stomach dropped, and she felt an altogether unfamiliar sense of panic.

She wasn’t ready. She hadn’t made the transition from who she’d been the last

three weeks back into the woman she was with Rachel. She didn’t know

Rachel. No, that was wrong. Rachel hadn’t changed. Nothing had changed. She

just needed a little more time for them to fall back into the old rhythm, then it

would all make sense again. Her head pounded, and she had a ß eeting thought

that she was glad she had started the medication, because her heart was racing

out of control. “Rachel, I’m sorry. I promised my mother I’d help her make sure

everything was set down at the boathouse. The party is going to start in half an

hour. I can’t disappear.”

Rachel gave a faint murmur of protest, but her voice was teasing.

“You know when we haven’t seen each other for this long, it never takes me

half an hour.”

Leslie ß ushed, not from arousal, but because of its absence.

Something was wrong. Very wrong. She hadn’t wanted to run away this badly

since the night she’d realized that it wasn’t Mike she wanted to make love to,

but Dev. But she wasn’t seventeen anymore, and she couldn’t just run away

from her life. She tried for a playful tone. “Can you stand waiting a few more

hours?”

“I might be able to,” Rachel said slowly, casting one quick look around as she

moved. She leaned down over Leslie, bracing an arm on either side of her, Þ

ngers curled around the arms of the wicker chair.

Her voice was barely a whisper. “But I can’t promise I won’t have to drag you

off into some dark corner. I am terribly, terribly ready for you.”

The heat of Rachel’s body was like a furnace raging between them, and just as

Leslie felt the Þ rst brush of Rachel’s lips, the porch light came on and Rachel

hurriedly straightened. Leslie rose quickly at the sound of a door opening and

footsteps on the porch. When she turned, her mother stopped abruptly a few

feet away, her expression uncertain.

“Mom,” Leslie said in a rush. “This is Rachel. Rachel, my mother.”

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Eileen smiled and held out her hand. “I’m Eileen. It’s nice to meet you.”

“So nice to meet you too. Thank you for allowing me to barge in this way,”

Rachel said graciously. “It’s very beautiful here.”

“We think so too.” Eileen turned to Leslie. “Honey, you don’t need to he—”

“No, that’s Þ ne,” Leslie said hastily. “Really. I’ll just show Rachel the cabin so

she can change, and I’ll be right down to give you a hand.”

Leslie squeezed Rachel’s hand. “Okay?”

Rachel nodded. “Of course. I just need to get my overnight bag from the car.”

“You’ve been traveling all day. Stay here,” Leslie said. “Let me have your keys,

and I’ll get it.”

“Thank you, darling.” Rachel handed her the keys. “I packed light—I might not

have anything quite right for tonight.”

Leslie laughed. “You’re not required to wear jeans and hiking boots, I promise.”

“I’m ever so relieved.” Rachel smiled at Eileen, who appeared to be watching

the exchange with interest. “I’d be happy to do whatever I can to help with the

preparations too.”

“Absolutely not,” Eileen said with an emphatic shake of her head.

“You’re a guest. In fact, why don’t you come inside and I’ll introduce you to

Leslie’s father while I get a ß ashlight. Then I’ll walk you two down to the cabin

with the luggage.”

“Thanks, Mom,” Leslie said. “Rachel, I’ll be right back.”

Leslie hurried down the stairs, embarrassed to feel relieved that she and Rachel

would not be alone for a few more hours. Surely by the end of the evening, by

the time they were ready for bed, this disquieting sense of disorientation would

be gone. Because if it wasn’t, they were going to need to talk, and she wasn’t

even sure what she would say.

v

Dev sat on the front steps of her cabin listening to music and the sound of

laughter ß owing through the trees while she Þ nished her second beer. It was

eleven and she had put off going down to the boathouse for as long as she

could. She’d told Eileen she would put in an appearance, but that wasn’t the

real reason she stood up and started walking, making

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her way down the wooded path by memory and moonlight. Leslie would be

there, and she wanted to see her.

Knowing it was a fool’s errand that would only end in pain, she asked herself

for the tenth time why she didn’t just call Natalie and spend the night with a

woman who wanted her. The excuses she’d used to keep Natalie at arm’s

length were wearing thin, even to her own ears. Refusing to explore a

relationship with Natalie wasn’t about being fair or unfair to Natalie. Natalie

hadn’t asked for anything more than friendship and shared pleasure. No,

refusing to become involved was about what it had always been about. It was

about wanting the one woman she just couldn’t have. Because Leslie was

always with someone else.

Dev jammed her hands in the pockets of her jeans, resisting the path she had

followed once to her own destruction. For the Þ rst time, she felt anger rather

than resignation ß are hot inside her.

She stopped on the ridge just above the boathouse, seeing it just as she had

seen it Þ fteen years before—light spilling out the door, people crowded around

the entrance, music ß oating from the open windows.

People drank, ß irted, loved, and she stood on the outside watching. She might

have come full circle, but she had arrived back at the beginning not as a

confused seventeen-year-old willing to give her heart away for a smile, but as a

woman who wanted more. Leslie was with someone else, and all Dev needed to

be free was to break the chain that held her to the past. There was one certain

way to do that. She shouldered through the crowd into the boathouse in search

of Leslie.

It only took her a minute to Þ nd her. Despite the dim light and the masses of

people, Dev’s gaze was drawn to her as if a beam of light, invisible to everyone

else, emanated from Leslie’s heart straight into her own. Rather than approach

her, Dev moved deeper into the shadows along the wall where she could watch

her without being seen.

A woman partially illuminated in moonlight stood beside Leslie, an arm curved

loosely around Leslie’s waist. There was no doubt about their relationship. The

woman held Leslie with an easy familiarity and subtle possessiveness.

Dev blinked as sweat ran into her eyes, but she couldn’t look away. She’d

never seen Leslie with a woman. She’d seen her with Mike, hundreds of times.

At football games, at dances, on the beach.

Mike had touched Leslie as if she were his too, but Dev had never

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believed it. Leslie had always held herself apart, always saved what was so

essentially Leslie for the moments when she and Dev were alone together.

Tonight was different. Tonight, a woman stood by Leslie’s side and the truth

was apparent. Leslie was with who she should be with, and Dev was not the

one she had chosen. As Dev watched, the copper-haired woman inclined her

head and kissed Leslie. The tie that had bound Dev to Leslie all her life snapped

with the fragile grace of a simple kiss.

As if Leslie felt it too, she pulled her head away and half turned in Dev’s

direction. Dev knew Leslie couldn’t see her across the crowded ß oor, in near

darkness, but for just an instant, she felt their eyes meet.

She whispered, Goodbye, Leslie, and this time, she meant it.

Dev strode from the boathouse, veering off at the end of the concrete ramp

toward the shore. A faint breeze came off the lake and she tilted her head up to

cool the sweat on her face.

“Dev!”

Dev looked over her shoulder and saw Leslie hurrying along the sand toward

her.

“Go back inside, Les,” Dev said, walking away.

“I can’t.”

Leslie’s voice was barely a whisper carried on the wind, but the pain was so

clear that Dev felt it in her heart. She stopped to face her.

“You don’t belong out here with me, Les.”

Leslie’s anguished face was so vulnerable in the moonlight that Dev ached to

hold her, but her anger was greater than her grief. Leslie stepped close to Dev

and touched her Þ ngertips ever so gently to Dev’s cheek. “I’m sorry. I didn’t

mean for you to see that.”

“Why not?” Dev caught Leslie’s hand and jerked it away, more roughly than she

intended. “She’s your lover. Go back inside.”

“I know things have been crazy this summer, but—”

“This summer?” Dev laughed harshly. “No, what’s been crazy is everything up

until this summer.”

“I don’t…I don’t understand.” Leslie didn’t understand anything.

She didn’t understand why, when she’d looked up to see Dev watching Rachel

kiss her, everything inside of her had grown cold. Why the entire room had

disappeared until all she could see was Dev’s face and the pain in her eyes.

Why she’d made a feeble excuse about needing to check on her father and had

run out into the night after Dev. But she couldn’t just let her walk away. Could

she?

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“I’ve been in love with you all my life,” Dev said, “and it wasn’t until this summer

that I realized I was just holding on to a dream that had died a long time ago.”

Dev shook with bitterness and anger. “You walked away, Leslie. You made a

life, disappeared from mine, and I still couldn’t let you go. Now that’s crazy.”

“Dev,” Leslie said desperately. “It’s not that I didn’t care.”

“I loved you,” Dev said, her voice breaking. “Oh, God, I loved you with my

whole soul.” She turned her face away, refusing to let Leslie see the tears that

streaked her cheeks, but her body trembled as the next words tore their way

out from deep inside her. “And you left me.”

“Oh my God,” Leslie whispered, crying herself. “You don’t know how it killed

me to lose you.”

Dev’s head snapped around, her body rigid. “No. I don’t know.

Because you were gone.” Her hands tightened into Þ sts at her side.

“And you’re still gone. Go back to your lover.”

“But I love y—”

“No! Don’t say that. Don’t!” Dev gripped Leslie’s shoulders and shook her

hard enough to make her gasp. “I’m done dreaming.”

Leslie cried out and Dev realized her Þ ngers had to be bruising Leslie’s

shoulders. She pulled her hands away as if they burned and stumbled back a

step. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m all right.”

Dev shook her head. “I’m sorry for all of it.” Then she escaped into the dark,

leaving the dream to fade away on the hot summer air.

Leslie called her name, but Dev didn’t stop. Running, her legs cramping and her

breath little more than a sob by the time she reached her cabin, she still took the

stairs two at a time. Inside, she quickly scooped up her keys. Then she was

racing down the path to the parking lot. She wasn’t spending the night in the

cabin with Leslie and her lover next door. She didn’t trust herself to see them

together again. Right now she was numb, but she didn’t know how long it would

last. And her anger was even more frightening than the pain.

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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

As Leslie threaded her way through the waning crowd toward Rachel, she gave

silent thanks for the dim lighting. She didn’t want Rachel to know she’d been

crying. How would she ever be able to explain what had just happened? She

never talked about her past with Rachel. Rachel didn’t know anything about

Dev, or Mike, or what had happened. Rachel would think she’d had some kind

of a breakdown if she told her she was crying over a teenage love affair that she

hadn’t even realized was happening at the time. Except her tears had been for

more than the loss of that innocent love. She was losing Dev, and she couldn’t

think about that right now. Not with Rachel here, and her shoulders still burning

where Dev had gripped her. She needed some space from both of them, to

think her way through what had happened.

Once she was home, back on familiar ground, she’d make sense of it all.

Taking a deep breath, Leslie edged up to Rachel. “I’m back. Did I miss

anything?”

“Nothing that looked quite as entertaining as what I have planned for you,”

Rachel murmured, kissing Leslie lightly below the ear. “Have we made enough

of an appearance that we can sneak out?”

“I’m sorry, you must be tired,” Leslie said. “Of course, let’s go.”

“Thank you, darling.”

Once outside, Leslie took Rachel’s hand to lead her along the path.

Rachel stopped her in a moonless spot and nuzzled her neck.

“Did I mention I’ve been desperate for you for days?”

“Do you know that bears can smell pheromones?” Leslie asked lightly, edging

away.

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Rachel laughed. “Then get me home, darling, or we’ll be in real danger.”

Leslie had left the porch light on in her cabin, and she had no difÞ culty leading

them to it. She searched the trees around Dev’s cabin for any sign of her, but

there was only darkness and an eerie sense of emptiness. Leslie couldn’t help

but remember the last time Dev had left a party at the boathouse hurt and angry.

That night she’d nearly died.

But Dev was an adult now, and sober, and Leslie wanted desperately to believe

that she hadn’t hurt Dev that badly again. Leslie forced her attention back to

Rachel as they climbed the stairs to the cabin.

“I can certainly see how staying here for any length of time would be relaxing,”

Rachel said wryly as she walked in.

“What do you mean?”

“It barely feels as if we’re in the twenty-Þ rst century. I half expect to Þ nd you

handing me a candle and directing me to the outhouse.”

Leslie laughed and turned on a table lamp. “Voilà. All the modern

conveniences.”

Rachel turned in a small circle, eyebrows raised as she surveyed the living room.

“Internet? Cable?”

“Ah, no cable. Wireless if the wind blows in the right direction.”

“Well,” Rachel’s voice dropped as she took Leslie’s hand and pulled her into

her arms, “we’ll have to Þ nd something else to occupy our time.”

Rachel moved so quickly, Leslie had no time to anticipate the kiss.

They’d made love countless times and the pressure of Rachel’s mouth, the

possessive sweep of her hands down Leslie’s back to cup her hips, the

demanding thrust of her tongue were all so familiar. Rachel was a skillful lover,

and Leslie’s body responded automatically, accustomed to the knowing touch.

When her mind caught up to her body, she tensed, feeling unexpectedly uneasy.

“Wait a minute, Rach,” Leslie said, pulling back from the embrace.

“I don’t want to get carried away out here. Let’s go in the bedroom.”

“Why,” Rachel murmured, nipping her way down Leslie’s neck to the base of

her throat. She insinuated one hand between them and skimmed her Þ ngertips

over Leslie’s breast. “There’s no one to see.”

Leslie gasped involuntarily as her nipple tightened instantly.

“Mmm, I love exciting you.” Rachel ß icked open the top button of Leslie’s

blouse and slid her hand beneath it, her Þ ngertips gliding under

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the edge of Leslie’s satin bra. “You have wonderful breasts, darling. So

responsive.”

Rachel tugged Leslie’s nipple as she massaged her breast in Þ rm, sensuous

circles.

“Oh God,” Leslie whispered, closing her eyes as tendrils of pleasure snaked

downward, burying themselves deep inside. Somewhere in her rapidly blurring

consciousness, she was aware that something felt wrong, but the sensations

racing through her body screamed otherwise.

Trembling, the intoxicating burn very close to claiming her, she steadied herself

with a hand against Rachel’s shoulder and pushed her gently away. “Please,

Rach. Not out here.”

Rachel’s green eyes were hazy, her breath coming in short, quick pants.

Grasping Leslie’s hand, Rachel pulled her toward the bedroom.

“Then hurry, darling. I’m ready to explode.”

Aroused, confused, Leslie couldn’t make sense of her jumbled emotions. This

was Rachel, her lover, and they weren’t doing anything they hadn’t done dozens

of times before. The strangeness, the frightening disconnection, was just because

they’d been apart. She undressed methodically. Rachel threw off her clothes

and then impatiently pushed aside the last of Leslie’s. When Rachel pulled her

down on the bed and immediately rolled on top of her, moaning Leslie’s name

and frantically grinding against her thigh, Leslie blocked the unsettling thoughts.

Whatever was happening, whatever was wrong, was none of Rachel’s doing.

And Rachel needed her right now.

Leslie cupped the back of Rachel’s neck in her palm, holding Rachel’s head to

her breasts, and arched to meet her thrusts. Rachel would come quickly this

way, and then they could sleep, and tomorrow it would all make sense.

Rachel shuddered and cried out. After a few minutes, her breathing steadied and

she slid off Leslie’s body, laughing softly. “Sorry, darling.

I’ve been wound up for days and I just couldn’t last.”

“I know, it’s okay,” Leslie said quietly, pulling the sheet over them.

“You need to get some sleep. You’ve got that early ß ight tomorrow.”

“You didn’t come yet,” Rachel whispered, caressing Leslie’s stomach.

Leslie caught her hand. She was aroused. She could feel the wetness on her

thighs and the tightness in the pit of her stomach. But she didn’t want to come.

Instead, she had the terrible feeling she was

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going to cry. She pulled Rachel’s arm around her and turned on her side into the

curve of Rachel’s body. “I don’t need to. I’m still not feeling all that great. Just

hold me now.”

“You sure?” Rachel asked drowsily, stroking Leslie’s hair. “In the morning,

then.”

“Just go to sleep, Rachel.” Leslie closed her eyes, but she lay awake long after

Rachel’s breathing had dropped into the slow rhythm of exhausted sleep. Rachel

wasn’t the stranger in her bed.

She was.

v

Leslie braced her arm along the roof of the sedan and leaned down to the open

window. “Be careful driving. You’ve got plenty of time.”

“Sorry to leave so early,” Rachel said, propping the travel cup Þ lled with coffee

that Eileen had just given her into the space in the console. “I just want to check

my e-mail and take care of a few things at that Internet place in the airport

before my ß ight.”

“Good luck in Detroit. They won’t know what hit them.”

Rachel grinned, looking relaxed and conÞ dent, and Leslie knew it was only

partly Rachel’s exhilaration about the upcoming legal challenge. Rachel had

awakened Leslie at Þ rst light, caressing her into awareness and fondling her to

a shattering orgasm just as Leslie had come fully awake. While Leslie was still

reeling with aftershocks, Rachel had urgently guided Leslie’s Þ ngers into her,

coming hard before rising hurriedly to shower. Rachel made love like she did

everything else, expertly and efÞ ciently.

“It will be quick, but not necessarily painless.” Rachel’s eyes gleamed as she

checked her watch. “I’ve got to run, but this little side trip was just what I

needed. You were wonderful.” She started the car and Leslie stepped back.

“I’ll call you later this week and let you know my schedule. Bye, darling.”

“Goodbye,” Leslie said softly.

Rachel wheeled rapidly out of the parking lot, and Leslie slowly climbed the

path back to the lodge. Through the screen door, she heard her mother setting

out the buffet in the dining room, but she didn’t go inside. Eileen had offered her

breakfast earlier when she and Rachel had stopped by the kitchen for coffee,

but she wasn’t hungry then. She still wasn’t. Instead, she sat down in the same

wicker chair where she’d

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waited for Rachel the evening before. It didn’t seem possible that it had only

been twelve hours ago. Her mind was on overload trying to process everything

that had happened.

It didn’t seem possible that it had taken her all this time to discover that sex and

work were the only two things that connected her to Rachel. She searched her

memory for the last time she and Rachel had talked about anything that wasn’t a

legal case, or an evening they’d spent together that had been more than a few

hours of intense sex and exhausted sleep. She couldn’t come up with one.

“I noticed you like quite a bit of cream in your coffee,” Eileen said, sliding a mug

onto the table next to Leslie before sitting down in the other chair. “Hope I got

that right.”

“Thanks.” Leslie smiled wanly. “I’ve been trying to cut down on my caffeine. I’ll

probably get clogged arteries instead.”

“Rachel’s gone?”

Leslie nodded, her throat tight.

“I didn’t see Dev last night at the party.”

“She didn’t stay long,” Leslie said softly.

“I’m sure there’s a better way to go about this, but I don’t know what it is.”

Eileen sighed. “You look terribly unhappy. What’s wrong?”

Leslie drew one leg up onto the chair and bent forward to rest her chin on her

knee. The sun had crested the trees and bathed the porch in warm morning

sunlight. “I think I’ve really screwed up my relationship with Rachel.”

There was a beat of silence, then Eileen said, “How so?”

Leslie shook her head. She wasn’t about to say that she’d had sex with Rachel

when a big part of her hadn’t really wanted to and that when she’d opened her

eyes that morning in the middle of a screaming orgasm, she’d wanted it to be

Dev who was making her come. “Never mind. God, I can’t talk about it with

you.”

“Something you think a mother couldn’t possibly understand?”

“Something like that.”

“Maybe you should talk to Dev about it.”

“Why?” Leslie said sharply.

Eileen rose and stroked Leslie’s hair. “Because now I’ve seen you with both of

them, and I haven’t changed my mind about which one you’re in love with.”

Leslie said nothing, but she feared her mother was right.

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v

Dev turned into the parking lot and saw Leslie piling luggage into the Jeep. The

sight made her feel as if she’d swallowed a ball of lead.

Twenty minutes ago she’d had such an intense sense of foreboding surge up out

of nowhere that she’d dropped everything at the lab and rushed back to the

lodge. The entire trip back she’d been sick thinking that Leslie had already left.

Now she wasn’t sure it was such a good idea she’d come back.

Nevertheless, she climbed out of the truck and crossed the steaming blacktop to

Leslie’s side. Leslie looked fresh in an outÞ t similar to the one she’d worn the

night before. Dev Þ gured she must look like shit because she’d slept in her

clothes. “When are you leaving?”

Leslie regarded her steadily, absurdly happy to see her, even if she had no idea

what she was going to do about anything. “In about an hour.”

“Can you take a walk with me?”

“All right.”

Silently, Dev led the way down a narrow, pine-needle-strewn footpath that led

to the lake on the opposite side of the lodge from the cabins. No one ever came

down there. On the shore, she stopped at the foot of a huge outcropping of

rocks as big as Volkswagens. She held out her hand. “The footing’s going to be

tricky in what you’ve got on.”

Wordlessly, Leslie took Dev’s hand and carefully climbed to the top. The rocks

were pitted from years of weather and strewn with patches of moss. She’d

sunbathed on these rocks when she’d been a child. She sat down next to Dev

and watched a sailboat glide by on the lake.

After a moment, Dev shifted to look into Leslie’s face. “I’m sorry about last

night, Les.”

“I was afraid it would be just like the last time,” Leslie said, feeling so weary. So

very nearly empty. “You were so angry. I was afraid you’d go off half-crazy and

get careless and hurt yourself.”

“I did.” One corner of Dev’s mouth lifted in a tired grin. “I slept on a couch that

had the consistency of a slab of granite.”

Leslie laughed softly. “You look terrible.”

“I feel terrible.” Dev lifted a hand to stroke Leslie’s cheek, then stopped a

breath away. “I…Jesus. I’m so sorry I lost my temper. Did I hurt you?”

• 206 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

“No.” There were Þ ngerprint bruises on the crest of both of Leslie’s shoulders.

She’d seen them in the mirror when she’d showered that morning. It was funny.

Rachel never noticed.

“I don’t want you to leave thinking I blame you for anything,”

Dev said, taking Leslie’s hand before she realized she’d even done it.

“What happened when we were kids—that’s long over. Seeing you again just

brought up a lot of old stuff. It kind of put me into a spin.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I need to tell you something.” Dev had woken up feeling numb, but she was

pretty sure that as soon as it hit her that Leslie was really gone, a lot of places

inside were going to hurt for a long time. But she’d promised herself she wasn’t

going to talk about that now. She’d burned up the road to get back to the lodge

because she didn’t want to let anger and pain be their last memory. This time

when they parted, she wanted the love and friendship that they’d shared to be

what they remembered.

“Yesterday you said…” Dev’s throat constricted unexpectedly and she looked

quickly away, blinking rapidly. After a second, when she was certain she could

hold it together, she met Leslie’s gaze again.

“You said I was special to you—back then.”

“You were the bravest, the strongest, the most wonderful person in my life.”

Leslie’s hands shook as she enfolded Dev’s in both of hers.

Raising Dev’s Þ ngers to her lips, she kissed them.

“Les,” Dev murmured, rubbing her thumb gently below Leslie’s eyes as tears fell

like raindrops. “Don’t do that. It’s okay now.”

Shaking her head, Leslie took a shuddering breath. “No one has ever known me

the way you did.”

“Loving you is the best thing I ever did. Being special to you is what made me

strong.” Dev got to her knees and cradled Leslie’s face gently between her

hands. She leaned down and kissed her softly, a gentle lingering kiss that spoke

of all the things she’d feared to say when she’d been young, and had never

wanted to say to anyone else. “I love you, and I’ll never be sorry for that.”

Leslie wrapped her arms around Dev’s shoulders, one hand stroking her hair,

the other her back. She knew this woman, this body, this heart in a place deep

inside that no one else had ever touched.

“I love you too,” Leslie whispered, brushing her mouth over Dev’s neck to seal

the taste of her in her heart.

Dev slid down off the rock and held out her arms. Leslie grasped

• 207 •

RADCLY fFE

her hands and climbed down beside her, then linked Þ ngers as they stood

together by the lake that had been the backdrop to all their precious moments.

After a minute, Dev said, “Whenever I see the lake at dawn, or walk in the

woods in the moonlight, or wake up in the morning to birdsong, I’m going to

think about you.” She stroked Leslie’s cheek, then kissed her one last time.

“Look me up if you ever get tired of Manhattan.”

“I will,” Leslie whispered, backing away until their hands no longer touched. She

left Dev standing by the lake and went back to her life.

• 208 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Leslie’s BlackBerry vibrated just as she stepped off the elevator into the parking

garage. She was tempted to ignore it because it was almost 8 p.m. and Rachel

was due at her apartment in thirty minutes. She’d just left the ofÞ ce, and if it

was anything important, whoever it was could e-mail her. Still, maybe it was

Rachel calling to cancel. She pulled the BlackBerry from her briefcase and her

heart gave a sudden lurch when she saw the number for the lodge on the

readout. Maybe it was Dev.

“Hello?”

“Hi, honey,” Eileen said. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No, I was just leaving the ofÞ ce,” Leslie said, feeling foolish and disappointed

in equal measure. Why would Dev call her? They’d said everything there was to

say when they’d said goodbye.

“Still working late, I see.”

“This is pretty much the norm. Is everything okay?”

“Oh…yes. I hadn’t heard from you, and I just…I should let you go if you’re on

your way home.”

“No. It’s Þ ne. I meant to call, but it’s just been crazy since I got back.” Leslie

unlocked her car, tossed her briefcase onto the passenger seat, and put the key

in the ignition. It had taken her the better part of a week to catch up and another

to get ahead of the game. If she was going to take time off at the end of the

summer to go home again, she had to plan for it now. Besides, two weeks of

nonstop work had helped take her mind off everything that happened at the

lake, at least for a few hours at a time. As soon as she was alone and not

working, though, she

thought about Dev. Sadness washed through her and she focused on the call.

“How’s Daddy?”

“Grumpy.”

Leslie laughed. “Can’t you Þ nd something for him to do? He must be driving

you nuts.”

“He is, but he’s Þ nally able to get down to the boathouse, and that helps.”

There was a beat of silence, then Eileen said casually, “How’s Rachel?”

“Fine, I think.” Leslie started the car and switched to the hands-free mic. “She

got back in town last week but we’ve both been too busy to get together. In

fact, she should be on her way over to my place right now.”

“Well then, I deÞ nitely don’t want to keep you.”

Leslie felt a quick clench of anxiety and just as quickly forced it away. Maybe

she should talk it over with her mother. No, she’d thought things through, and

she was sure. It wouldn’t be easy, but she’d done harder things in her life. At

least, she wanted to tell herself she had.

“How’s Dev?” Leslie asked, slowing so she could run her ID card through the

box at the security gate.

“I haven’t seen her very much since you left. Every now and then I’ll catch her

at breakfast or dinner. She looks tired. I guess she’s working hard too.”

Leslie considered how she would phrase the next question. “How is the tourist

business? Has Natalie said anything about the campsites being full?”

“I haven’t had much chance to talk to her, either. I’ve seen her once or twice

with Dev.”

“At the lodge?” Leslie probed. For dinner? For breakfast?

“Mmm. Are you driving right now?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Then I’m going to go. You need to pay attention to what you’re doing, Leslie.”

Leslie smiled. “I know, Mom. I’m trying.”

“All right, then. Call sometime. I miss you.”

“Me too,” Leslie said softly.

“Let me see if I understand this correctly,” Rachel said, appraising Leslie

steadily over the top of her wineglass. Sitting forward on Leslie’s sofa, she took

another sip of her Pinot Noir, then cradled the crystal goblet between her long,

elegant Þ ngers. “You’re telling me you want to change the terms of our

relationship, but you’re not involved with anyone else?”

“That’s right,” Leslie said quietly.

Rachel tapped a Þ nger on her glass. “You’re not sleeping with anyone else, but

you want to stop sleeping with me.”

“Yes.”

“Forgive me if I’m being dense,” Rachel said, “because I was under the

impression that we got along very well, in and out of the bedroom. But most

deÞ nitely in the bedroom.”

“We do.” Leslie knew this was going to be difÞ cult to explain.

Not because she expected Rachel to lose her temper or create a scene, but

because Leslie had never indicated that she wanted her relationship with Rachel

to be more than what it was. And she hadn’t, not until she’d felt what love was

like. “I love thrashing out legal issues with you, and I enjoy being with you.” She

rubbed her forehead. “God, Rach, I’m really trying to avoid clichés here, but

this isn’t about anything you’ve done. It really is about me.”

Rachel smiled wryly. “The next thing I know, you’re going to tell me you want to

be friends.”

“I do want that. If we can.” Leslie met Rachel’s eyes and saw the confusion in

them. This wasn’t right. Rachel deserved more. She deserved the truth. “I’m not

seeing anyone else. But there is someone else I…I’m in love with.”

“A woman, I hope.”

“God, yes,” Leslie said, laughing brieß y.

“You’re in love with another woman, but you’re not sleeping with her.”

“I’m not doing anything with her. I told you, we don’t have a relationship.”

Rachel shook her head. “I’m not tracking here, darling. You’re going to have to

spell it out.”

“When I was up at the lake, I rekindled a…a relationship with a woman I knew

years ago. I was in love with her in high school, and I

guess I’ve been a little bit in love with her all my life. Now I know it, and it

doesn’t feel right being with you.”

“Does she know how you feel about her?” Rachel leaned back and crossed her

legs, her charcoal pinstripe silk skirt sliding to mid-thigh.

She stretched one arm out along the back of the sofa, her suit jacket falling open

and her blouse tightening across her breasts.

It was a seductive pose, and Leslie knew Rachel knew it. She looked away.

“Yes and no. About before, yes. About now, not exactly.”

“So you’re doing the honorable thing before you and she—”

“No,” Leslie said quickly. “I don’t…we don’t have any plans for anything.”

“You’re going to stop seeing me because of a high school crush?”

Rachel’s tone was more incredulous than angry. “And you’re not even pursuing

her?”

“I’m pretty turned around right now, Rach. I just don’t feel like I can be with

anyone.”

“Maybe you need to take some more time off. I’ve never seen you like this.”

“You mean emotionally all over the place?” Leslie knew she always appeared to

be in control because she always kept her emotions so tightly under wraps. But

now she couldn’t. She couldn’t push the memory of Dev away, or what she felt

for her, or what she didn’t feel for Rachel. She couldn’t go back to being

completely focused on work and contenting herself with a casual sexual

relationship. Part of her mind was always thinking about Dev. About where she

was. What she was doing. If she was with Natalie. If she was happy. If she

missed Leslie as much as Leslie missed her.

“A few weeks off won’t change anything,” Leslie said gently.

“And it doesn’t feel fair to keep seeing you when I feel this way.”

“You can’t be happy about this.”

Leslie closed her eyes for an instant, then smiled weakly. “I’m not, but it’s what

I have to do.”

“We have an excellent physical relationship, and we enjoy each other’s

company. You’re not seeing anyone else, and neither am I.”

Rising, Rachel set her glass down and glided over to Leslie. She cupped her jaw

and raised her head. “Why give this up?”

Leslie felt the familiar pull of Rachel’s mouth moving over hers,

those long Þ ngers caressing her neck, a warm hand cupping her breast.

Her nipple hardened in Rachel’s palm and she heard Rachel’s murmur of

approval. Carefully, she eased back, breaking the kiss and the caress.

“My heart’s not in it, Rachel. And I need it to be. I’m sorry.”

Rachel straightened. “I’m not going to wait.”

“I didn’t think you would.” Leslie stood. “I wouldn’t ask you to.”

“But,” Rachel said, running her Þ ngertip along Leslie’s jaw, “I think it might

take me quite some time to Þ nd anyone I enjoy as much as you, especially in

the bedroom. So call me, if you decide you miss it.”

“You can call me too,” Leslie said softly, knowing Rachel wouldn’t. Rachel

didn’t have friends, she didn’t have time. She had colleagues to challenge her

mind and a lover to satisfy her body. Leslie doubted Rachel would go long

without Þ nding someone else. She burned too fast and too brightly not to have

her needs met. “I’m sorry.

I hate hurting you.”

“I know, darling.” Rachel’s eyes were cool, her expression remote.

“I’ll miss you, but I won’t suffer. If I were the kind of person who did, you

probably wouldn’t be leaving.”

Leslie said nothing. If she’d thought Rachel would be devastated, she still would

have found a way to say goodbye. She wasn’t doing either of them any favors

pretending that what they had was enough for her. And no matter what they

shared, it wouldn’t be enough to keep her from wanting Dev.

“Take care, Rachel,” Leslie said, walking with her to the door.

Rachel collected her briefcase and keys. “I’ve never known you to be a

coward, Leslie. If you love the woman, for God’s sake, do something about it.”

“Thank you, Counselor,” Leslie said, smiling ß eetingly. “I’ll take that under

serious advisement.”

“You should, because I’m never wrong. Goodbye, darling.”

When the door closed behind Rachel, Leslie returned to the living room and

picked up her wine. She sipped slowly, completely alone. It felt both liberating

and terrifying.

Dev slowed the park service truck at the mouth of a vacant campsite while

Natalie jumped off the running board, trotted down the dirt path to the clearing,

and checked that the Þ re was out in the Þ re pit.

She jogged back, hooked her arm inside the open window, and steadied herself

against the outside of the door. She grinned in at Dev.

“Only Þ ve more to go.”

“You didn’t tell me I was going to have to work for my dinner.”

“I did say you could stay back at the ofÞ ce and wait for me.”

“This saves time,” Dev said, turning onto the last loop of road that snaked

through the campsite. “Plus, if I waited there, I’d have to listen to Jimmy

complain about the heat.”

“Or the bugs.”

“Or the tourists.”

“Or—” Natalie laughed and hopped down as Dev slowed again.

When she climbed back aboard and they moved on, she peered through the

window again. “Hear anything from Leslie?”

Dev stared straight ahead. “No.”

“You haven’t called her?”

“No.”

“Going to?”

Dev shook her head.

“Should I ask why not?”

“Among other things, she’s got a girlfriend.”

“Ah.”

“This is your stop,” Dev said, braking.

Natalie checked the last few sites on foot while Dev followed along the narrow

dirt road. When she returned to the truck, she settled into the passenger seat

and slipped her hand onto Dev’s thigh. “I’m sorry.”

Dev glanced at her. “About what?”

“For bringing it up. I waited two weeks. I thought that was a decent interval.”

“It’s okay.” Dev pulled into the parking lot behind the ranger’s ofÞ ce. Two

weeks. It felt like two minutes. She could still feel the warmth of Leslie’s hand in

hers. She could still hear her voice, smell the subtle scent of her perfume. Leslie

was everywhere around her, but never anywhere as much as in her thoughts.

There was no time frame for missing Leslie. No beginning, and no end. It was

simply part of her life and had been for as long as she could remember.

“Hey. Don’t go drifting off, Dev. There’s nothing back there but pain.”

“I know,” Dev said. “I’m okay.”

“Not quite, but you will be.”

“Your friendship means a lot to me. Thanks.”

“Don’t even go there,” Natalie said. “We are friends. And that means you don’t

have to thank me.”

Dev grinned and backed into a parking space. “Yeah yeah.”

“And I’m still going to make a move on you.” Natalie leaned across the gearshift

and gently bit Dev’s earlobe. “But I’m going to give you a little more time to get

prepared. A day. Maybe two.”

Dev laughed. “Thanks for letting me know.”

Natalie patted Dev’s thigh. “Anytime.”

“I’m not in any shape to get involved, Nat,” Dev said quietly as they locked up

the park service vehicle.

“Can’t shake her?”

Dev shook her head. Leslie was always in her thoughts, in her dreams. Leslie

was in her blood.

“I could help.” Natalie grasped Dev’s hand as they walked toward her SUV.

“You do help.”

Natalie laughed. “I meant in a bit more active way.”

Dev laughed too. “I know.”

“So when I make a serious offer,” Natalie said, pausing before unlocking her

vehicle, “you can tell me if it’s what you want or not.”

“Nat,” Dev said gently. “I don’t want to mislead you. I don’t think—”

“Ah ah—you have to wait until I make my move to turn me down.”

Lifting her hands in defeat, Dev nodded. “Okay. And just so you won’t think

I’m running scared, I’ll tell you right now I’m going to be out of town for a

couple of days at the end of the month.”

“Oh yeah? What’s up?” Natalie unlocked the doors and they slid in.

“I’ve been scheduled on and off for the last four months to testify in a case

involving industrial contamination of a river upstate, and they keep rescheduling.

I just heard it’s Þ nally going to go.”

“So you’re heading upstate?”

“No,” Dev said quietly. “Actually, the trial is in New York City.”

“Oh.” Natalie glanced at Dev as she pulled out onto the highway.

“And?”

Dev shook her head. “And nothing.”

“Okay,” Natalie said, reaching for Dev’s hand. She squeezed it brieß y, then let

go. “My timetable still looks good, then.”

Dev smiled, but she feared that time alone would not be enough for her to forget

Leslie.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

I’ll be out the rest of the afternoon, Steph,” Leslie said to her paralegal. “I’ll

check messages later and get back to you on anything urgent.”

“Finally taking a few hours off? You’ve been back a month and I think you’ve

been in here every day.” Stephanie Þ xed her with a reproachful frown and

lowered her voice. “Weren’t you supposed to be trying something new? Like

taking it easy now and then?”

Leslie leaned both hands on Stephanie’s desk and whispered back,

“I have been taking it easy. I’m out by eight every night.”

Stephanie shook her head. “That’s not exactly cutting back.”

“I feel Þ ne. I’ll be in court.”

“Wait!” Stephanie quickly scanned her calendar. “I don’t have you down for

anything. Did I forget something?”

“No.” Leslie shouldered her briefcase and started toward the door.

“I want to check out the competition.”

“What—”

Without looking back, Leslie waved a hand goodbye and disappeared down the

hall. Forty minutes later she slipped quietly into the back row in a courtroom at

the federal courthouse. She took a seat behind a fairly large gentleman and

made notes on another case while listening to testimony with half an ear,

absently noting that the state’s attorney was knowledgeable and his questions

sharp. She’d been up against him once, and that had not gone so well for him.

She smiled at the memory. The young attorney representing the corporation

accused of venting waste runoff into an unsecured drainage system and

contaminating a nearby river also seemed on top of his game.

Twenty minutes after Leslie arrived, the door opened again and Dev walked in.

Leslie shifted a little so that Dev would not see her as she strode down the

center aisle. She didn’t want to disturb Dev’s concentration. Her own was shot

to hell the second she saw Dev, so she quietly slid her notes into her briefcase

and settled back to watch.

Dev sat two rows behind the plaintiff’s table, and Leslie had a good view of her

in proÞ le. Dev had dressed for court in a dark suit and pale shirt. Her chestnut

hair had been trimmed to just above her collar, and it curled very subtly at the

ends. She had that tanned, healthy gleam that women who worked outdoors

often had, but beneath it, she seemed tired. And a little thinner. She was so

damn beautiful, and Leslie drew a long slow breath to calm the butterß ies in her

stomach.

When the state’s attorney called Dev to testify, Leslie positioned herself so that

the gentleman in front of her shielded her enough that Dev was not likely to see

her. Witnesses were usually instructed to look only at the jury or the questioning

attorney during testimony. They rarely scanned the audience. Leslie could hear

Dev, and she did not need to see her to know exactly how she looked as she

answered. Hazel eyes intent, her handsome face honest and passionate.

The state’s attorney had indeed gotten smarter with his questioning, but Dev

was an ideal expert witness and made the attorney look better than he actually

was. Dev reduced difÞ cult science to understandable concepts and made

human arguments that were guaranteed to sway the jury. Her personality alone

was a signiÞ cant added beneÞ t to her value as an expert defending the river

and its inhabitants. Knowing Dev, Leslie knew that none of her answers were

calculated, but what she truly believed.

When the corporation’s defense attorney began his cross-examination with a

belligerent tone, Leslie shook her head, feeling sorry for him. She edged over

slightly so she could see Dev’s face as Dev countered every vehement challenge

in a calm, reasoned fashion. Then, after a particularly sarcastically phrased

question from the attorney, something in Dev’s face changed. Her eyes glinted,

and the bold planes of her face grew stronger. Leslie held her breath.

Dev leaned forward and regarded the attorney as if he had just made the most

ridiculous statement she’d ever heard. Then she inclined her body toward the

jury and moved the microphone a half inch closer to her face, even though her

voice carried well without it. The jury

clearly hung on her every word at this point, waiting for whatever critical

statement she was about to make.

“What you have to understand,” Dev said, her eyes seeming to meet those of

every juror, “is that Þ sh are people too.”

Leslie bit her lip to stiß e her exclamation, grateful that she wasn’t the one going

up against Dev. It was apparent that every single member of the jury believed

every word Dev said. The corporation might as well have been dumping nuclear

waste into their backyards, because that was how they now thought of those

contaminated waters. Dev had made it personal for them with the elegant

strength of her conviction.

Leslie hated when the opposing team used her own strategy against her, and

she’d never seen it done better. The questioning attorney appeared to share her

assessment and hastily concluded his cross-examination.

When Dev Þ nished her testimony and stepped down from the witness box, she

hesitated for a second, her head tilted as if she were listening to someone

speaking, although the room was quiet. Then she resumed walking, her gaze

lasering to Leslie.

Leslie nodded hello, waiting anxiously for a response. Then Dev smiled, the

same smile of welcome she had greeted Leslie with a thousand times before. It

had always made Leslie feel beautiful and special, and it still did.

v

Dev checked her watch and tried not to Þ dget. It had already been late in the

afternoon when she’d Þ nished testifying, so she knew court would adjourn at

any minute. She wanted to verify that she wouldn’t be recalled to testify, and

then she wanted to Þ nd Leslie. The Þ rst glimpse of her after a month of

thinking about her had nearly stopped Dev in her tracks. At Þ rst she’d thought

it was some kind of hallucination brought about by the fact that she’d done

nothing on the three-hour train ride but replay every conversation with Leslie

she’d ever had. Fortunately, she knew the details of the case thoroughly and

hadn’t needed to review them, because the closer she came to New York City,

the more her concentration had waned. Just knowing she was going to be in the

same city as Leslie made her blood hum. She knew it was crazy, but she

couldn’t stop it.

Then to actually see her, sitting in the courtroom so calm and

composed with her perfectly styled hair and subtle makeup and fashionable suit,

had pretty much thrown her off the tracks. She had to talk to her. Just talk to

her. Friends could do that, right? That was normal.

But the churning in her stomach that felt like hunger but wasn’t—that wasn’t

normal. The way her skin tingled, shimmering like the air just before a huge bolt

of lightning dispelled the pent-up electricity in the midst of a storm—that wasn’t

normal.

Dev studied her hands, clasped loosely in her lap. They were trembling.

None of this was normal. She was deluding herself, again. But it didn’t matter,

she still had to see her. Just—see her.

“Great job,” the state’s attorney murmured, jolting Dev back to the present. She

looked around and saw that the jury box was empty and the crowd in the

courtroom dispersing. Turning rapidly she searched the room behind her, but the

aisle was already Þ lled with people Þ ling out. She couldn’t see Leslie.

“Will you need me again?” Dev asked briskly.

“Shouldn’t. If you can hang around until noon tomorrow, I’ll call you to let you

know for sure. I assume you’ll be staying in the city?”

“Yes. I’m at the Hilton at Fifty-fourth and Sixth.”

“What do you say we have some dinner. I think we can safely celebrate. You

really nail—”

“Ah, thanks, no,” Dev said, sidestepping into the central aisle. “I appreciate it,

but I’ve got another appointment. Call me and let me know about tomorrow.”

“All right. Thanks again!”

The aisle was clearer now, and Dev pushed hurriedly through the double doors

into the hallway beyond. It was empty, and the pain of disappointment was so

sharp she gasped. Dazed, uncertain now that she had even seen her, Dev

mechanically pushed the down button on the elevator, stepped in, and rode to

the lobby.

She was halfway to the front doors when she heard her name.

“Dev?”

Spinning around, Dev saw her standing off to the side beneath a marble

archway. She stared for a heartbeat and then another, and when Leslie didn’t

disappear, she cautiously approached her.

“Les?”

“Hi,” Leslie said, smiling almost shyly.

“What are you doing here?”

“My mother told me you were coming down to testify, so I thought I’d do a little

reconnaissance and see what kind of ammunition the other side was using.”

Leslie brushed her hair away from her face, a nervous gesture that was totally

unlike her. She’d never actually been alone with Dev when she’d been aware of

what was between them. Not when there hadn’t been insurmountable barriers

keeping them apart.

She hadn’t been this keyed up around anyone ever, not Mike on their Þ rst date

or Rachel the Þ rst time they’d made love. The only person who had ever made

her feel anything like this buzzing excitement had been Dev, years ago, and

she’d failed to recognize what it meant then.

But she knew now. “You know, Þ eld research.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Dev couldn’t hide her foolish grin. She felt just about as dizzy as

she used to when she was sixteen and she’d leave school later than everyone

else because she’d had detention for showing up late or smart-mouthing a

teacher and Leslie would be waiting for her.

All her anger and resentment would fade at the Þ rst sight of Leslie’s smile. Dev

leaned her shoulder against the marble pillar, a wisp of the cocky teenager she’d

been in her stance. “So, Counselor. What do you think?”

Leslie edged closer, as if she were drawn by a magnet and helpless to resist the

pull. She did just barely manage to resist slipping her hand beneath the edge of

Dev’s jacket and touching her. But her Þ ngers quivered with the need for

contact. Her voice came out breathy, but she couldn’t control that either. “I

thought you were fabulous. If I ever see your name on an expert list, I’m

recommending we settle.”

Dev laughed, knowing Leslie was playing with her. It felt so good.

So good to tease with her again. She used to think it was the lake that created

the magic around them, that made the rest of the world fade away so there was

only the two of them. Maybe she’d been wrong, because they couldn’t be

farther from the lake than they were right now and she felt it still. The magic.

Watching the happiness light Leslie’s eyes, she felt the dream tremble and surge

back to life.

“Let me take you to dinner,” Leslie said quickly. “You’re not going right back,

are you?”

If she had intended to go home, Dev would have changed her plans

immediately. She shook her head. “I’m here until tomorrow.”

“Where are you staying?”

Dev told her, lifting her overnighter. “I should probably go check in now.” She

didn’t move, loath to let Leslie out of her sight. “I could meet you somewhere?”

“Why don’t I go with you?” Leslie said, having difÞ culty thinking clearly when

every nerve in her body was jangling. Since her mother had told her a week

before about Dev’s upcoming trial and she’d tracked down the details, she’d

anticipated seeing Dev. As the day had drawn closer, her anxiety—part

excitement, part uncertainty—had climbed exponentially to the point where she

could barely sleep. Now Dev was here, and she wasn’t wasting a minute of their

time together. “We can walk to dinner somewhere from your hotel.”

“Sure. That sounds great.” Dev thought anything sounded great as long as she

could spend the evening with Leslie. Like an addict who knew she would wake

up bathed in the clammy sweat of remorse and regret in the morning but who

nevertheless downed the next drink or shot the next line or laid down the next

bet, Dev reached for Leslie’s hand. She didn’t care how much it hurt tomorrow.

Tonight the wounds that never completely healed would fade for a few merciful

hours.

“Let’s go.”

Still holding Dev’s hand, Leslie hailed a cab and they climbed into the backseat.

Their thighs brushed as the cabbie swerved through rush-hour trafÞ c with the

reckless abandon of a man with a death wish.

At one point the cab jerked so violently that Leslie was thrown into Dev, and

Dev automatically curved her arm around Leslie’s shoulders.

Leslie wrapped her arm around Dev’s waist to steady herself. When the cab

resumed a somewhat smoother course, Leslie didn’t move away.

Dev stared straight ahead through the windshield, but she wasn’t watching the

trafÞ c or the street signs. She wasn’t aware of anything except Leslie leaning

against her and the pressure of Leslie’s arm wrapped around her middle. Her

heart was pounding, or maybe that was Leslie’s. Blood thundered through her

chest, heat kindled in the depths of her abdomen, and she shivered as waves of

arousal rolled through her. She stroked Leslie’s arm and her Þ ngertips burned.

“I can’t do this, Les,” Dev whispered, realizing that unlike the addict, she had no

tolerance for her addiction. The pleasure would destroy her long before

morning. “I thought I could. But I can’t.”

“Do what?” Leslie murmured, following the pulse rippling along Dev’s neck

through heavy lids. Her body felt tight, like ripe fruit ready to burst in the sun.

“I can’t be this close to you.” Dev shuddered as Leslie smoothed her palm in a

gentle circle over the center of her stomach.

“You’re shaking.” Leslie drew away, searching Dev’s face anxiously, her heart

clenching at the agony in Dev’s dark eyes. “Oh, God, Dev, what’s wrong?”

“I thought I could be friends. Spend time with you, like friends.”

Dev’s voice cracked, and she swallowed hard. “I can’t. Not now.” She edged

away on the seat but it wasn’t far enough. Two hundred miles hadn’t been far

enough to stop wanting her. Two thousand wouldn’t be.

“I’ll need to pass on dinner.”

“Hilton,” the cabbie grunted as he rocketed the cab into the turnaround and

slammed to a halt.

Leslie ignored him, her eyes on Dev. “I’m coming up with you.

We’ll just talk. Please, Dev.”

Leslie was hurting, Dev could hear it. And she thought if she had to watch the

cab drive away with Leslie inside, she’d end up howling like an animal with its

leg caught in a trap. She couldn’t let her go and she couldn’t be near her without

dying by inches. But given the choice between two miseries, she’d choose the

one thing she’d always craved.

Leslie.

Wordlessly, Dev nodded and got out of the cab. While Leslie paid the

cabdriver, Dev walked around and opened Leslie’s door, then extended her

hand. Leslie’s Þ ngers closed around hers, and the charge of ß esh on ß esh

almost rocked her back on her heels.

How could she say no? She could more easily stop her own heart from beating.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Dev glanced over her shoulder impatiently while the hotel receptionist ran her

credit card and programmed her room key. Leslie was still there, waiting in the

lounge area adjacent to the front desk. Leslie seemed perfectly composed,

sitting with her shapely legs crossed, one arm resting along the curved edge of

the upholstered armchair, upper body angled so that she faced in Dev’s

direction. Dev was anything but composed. She needed something to settle her

down—

a cigarette, a drink, something—but she didn’t smoke and rarely drank more

than a glass or two of wine and the something that she needed was Leslie. God,

she needed her.

“Here you are,” the receptionist said with a smile. “Enjoy your stay, Dr.

Weber.”

“Thanks,” Dev said, waving off the bellman as she stuffed the paperwork into

her jacket pocket. With the plastic key card in one hand and her overnighter in

the other, she strode over to Leslie. “All set. I can take my things upstairs and

be down in Þ ve minutes if you want to wait here. We can go out to dinner right

away, if you’re hungry.”

Leslie stood, shaking her head. She slid the key card from Dev’s hand and

slipped her palm into its place. “Let’s go upstairs.”

“Okay.”

It was a mistake, Dev knew it. But she couldn’t imagine sitting across from

Leslie in a restaurant, pretending she was hungry or trying to make casual

conversation. At least in her hotel room she would be spared the social charade.

They rode upstairs to the tenth ß oor in silence, their shoulders touching as they

made room for other guests. Leslie kept her hand in Dev’s the entire ride, their

Þ ngers loosely entwined.

Dev found the room, set her luggage down, and held out her hand for the key

card Leslie still carried. “Okay?”

“Yes. Very,” Leslie murmured, thinking that if Dev didn’t open the door and get

them inside soon, she wouldn’t be responsible for what happened out in the hall.

Dev looked so worried, so unsure, and Leslie hated to see her that way. It was

her fault, she knew it. Dev had always been there for her, always clear about

what she felt, always waiting for Leslie to understand. And now Dev didn’t trust

her.

Leslie was struck with a sudden stab of fear that maybe Dev had Þ nally

stopped waiting and moved on. Maybe her reluctance in the cab hadn’t been

because she didn’t trust Leslie’s feelings, but because she was no longer

available. Leslie panicked, unable to imagine what she would do if she lost Dev

now. “Hurry, Dev.”

Surprised by the urgency in Leslie’s voice, Dev sliced the card through the lock

slot, cranked the handle, and shoved the door open with her shoulder. She

kicked her overnighter into the room while holding the door for Leslie to enter.

She ß ipped the wall switch just inside the door, lighting a small bedside lamp

that suffused the room with muted light. The heavy ß oral drapes on the window

were closed.

Besides the king-size bed and entertainment console opposite it, there was a

small sitting area with a sofa, coffee table, and desk.

Dev took it all in at a glance as the door swung closed behind her, leaving her to

face Leslie, who waited a few feet away. Leslie took one step toward her, the

expression on her face one that Dev had never seen before. Her lips, shining and

moist with pale gloss, were slightly parted and curved tenderly at each corner.

Her blue eyes, shimmering like lake water in the sunlight, were Þ xed intently on

Dev’s. A rush of heat swept through Dev so quickly she caught her breath and

backed up a step, as if she could escape. Her back hit the door and she lifted

her hands, palms up, helplessly.

“Don’t, Les.”

“Why not?” Leslie murmured, running a Þ ngertip along the edge of Dev’s

jacket.

“I can’t take it,” Dev whispered. “I miss you so much, and I want you so

badly.”

Leslie slipped both hands beneath Dev’s jacket and traced the ridges of Dev’s

collarbones, leaning her lower body lightly into Dev.

Dev’s body was rigid, but still Leslie sensed the barely restrained

hunger, and she wanted it. God, how she wanted Dev to still want her in the

delirious, boundless way she had before. She wanted it like nothing else in her

life. “I miss you too. Terribly. Kiss me, Dev. Please.”

“You’ll break me,” Dev warned hoarsely. “If I kiss you, I won’t stop. Not this

time. I can’t.”

“I don’t want you to stop.” Leslie caressed one hand up the side of Dev’s neck

and behind her head, curling her Þ ngers into Dev’s hair.

She pulled slowly, easing Dev’s head back as she pressed her lips to Dev’s

throat. “I don’t want you to stop until you’re inside of me where you belong.”

Dev made a sound that was part groan, part sob, her hands ß at against the

door, Þ ngers ß exed against the metal. If she let go, if she touched her, she was

afraid of what she might do. She wanted her, had wanted her since she was old

enough to recognize her desire for a woman. And all the years of denial had

honed her craving until it ran dangerously close to the wild part of her that

functioned from primal memory, when mating dictated survival, not pleasure.

She wanted Leslie beyond civilized reason, because without her, some essential

part of her would die. She understood then why the great beasts tore and

slashed their mates in the frenzy of joining. The same need scorched through her

with unrelenting ß ame and fury. “I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

Laughing, eyes bright with exultation, Leslie pressed hard against her. Her full

breasts tensed with arousal. Her hips rolled in a slow rhythm of invitation. She

tightened her Þ ngers in Dev’s hair and slid her other hand around to Dev’s

back. She set her nails into ß esh through the thin fabric of Dev’s shirt, claiming

her. “You won’t. You can’t. I love you. I want you to take what’s yours.”

Leslie punctuated each word with her teeth on Dev’s neck, leaving marks, not

caring. She hadn’t known. All these years she hadn’t known what passion was,

what desire was, what belonging meant. She was liquid with desire, her need

simmering like lava buried for millennia and Þ nally streaking a path to freedom.

“I need you so much, Dev, please, please. God, come to bed with me.”

Dev couldn’t breathe. Leslie was all over her, stroking her, exciting her, reaching

inside and throwing open the bars on the passion she’d kept caged all her life.

She hurt. Her body quivered. A terrible pressure Þ lled her chest and belly,

threatening to explode. “Rachel…

what about—”

“Gone.” Leslie wrapped both arms tightly around Dev, her hands raking Dev’s

back. “I left her. I had to.” She tilted her head back, face suffused with need,

eyes pleading. “I want you. Help me, Dev. Touch me.”

Dev drew a breath, and another, each sweeter than the last. The painful

pressure eased, replaced by pleasure. The beast was free, still Þ erce, but no

longer hunted. No longer haunted. For the Þ rst time, she welcomed her

passion.

“I love you,” Dev whispered, cradling Leslie’s face as gently as if she were

holding a newborn bird. She brushed her mouth over Leslie’s, soft as a feather.

“I’ve always loved you.”

Eyes closed, Leslie offered her throat. “Forgive me.”

Dev kissed her throat, the hollow at the base of her neck, the V

bared by the open collar of her blouse. “There’s no need. Not now.

Not then.” She opened Leslie’s blouse, one button at a time, her hands shaking.

Carefully, she teased the bottom from beneath the waistband of Leslie’s skirt

until Leslie’s abdomen was bare and the satin cups of her bra exposed. Dev

splayed her hands over Leslie’s breasts and Leslie sagged against her.

“I’ve dreamed of this,” Dev murmured, teasing Leslie’s nipples into erection.

“I’m going to touch you everywhere.”

“I’ve never been this excited,” Leslie warned her breathlessly. “I feel like I’ll

come right away.”

“It’s okay if you have to. The Þ rst time.” Dev skimmed her tongue over the

surface of Leslie’s lower lip, then sucked gently. “I’m going to make love to you

all night.”

“I need you to.”

Dev kissed her again, tugging her nipples as she danced her tongue over the

warm inner recesses of her mouth. Leslie’s breasts seemed to swell and Þ ll her

hands, stretching the sheer fabric tightly over her tense nipples.

“Ready for bed?” Dev whispered, her mouth against Leslie’s ear. Dev’s thighs

and abdomen ached from holding back, from going slow. The sounds Leslie

made, the way she shivered as Dev plucked on her nipples, the insistent rocking

of her hips against Dev’s crotch were making Dev crazy. She wasn’t sure she

could hold out until Leslie touched her.

Leslie moaned and pressed her forehead to Dev’s shoulder. “Yes.

Please, now.”

Hands linked, mouths searching for quick kisses, they stumbled to the foot of

the bed. Arms entwined, they freed buttons and lowered zippers and shed shoes

and clothes until they were nearly nude.

“Let me,” Dev said as Leslie reached to unhook her own bra.

Leslie let her hands fall to her sides, clad only in her bra and pale silk bikinis.

Her stomach was ß uttering with arousal, her breasts almost painfully engorged.

Her breath had ß ed at the Þ rst brush of Dev’s hands on her skin, and she’d

never recaptured it. “Oh, yes.”

Dev, naked except for her briefs, slid her Þ ngertips beneath the thin straps of

Leslie’s bra and eased them down over her shoulders. She dipped her head and

kissed Leslie’s breasts, Þ rst one, then the other, moving down the smooth

curves as she lowered the bra, millimeter by millimeter, until Leslie’s nipples

were exposed. Rapidly opening the clasp, Dev freed Leslie’s breasts completely

and sucked a nipple into her mouth. Leslie cried out, her knees buckling.

“I’m so excited, Dev,” Leslie moaned, clutching Dev’s shoulders.

“I feel like I might come.”

“Let it happen,” Dev whispered around the hard nub, refusing to release her.

She pressed one hand ß at against Leslie’s stomach, sweeping her Þ ngers in a

slow steady arc, tightening inside as Leslie’s hips thrust in the air. Keeping one

arm Þ rmly around Leslie’s waist, she pushed lower, dipping her Þ ngers

beneath the edge of Leslie’s panties, sucking harder. First one nipple, then the

other.

Gasping, Leslie covered Dev’s hand as it circled beneath the damp silk. “Oh,

don’t touch my clit. You’ll make me come.”

“I want to,” Dev growled, her mind a red haze. Leslie was hers now. Maybe

just for these few moments, but she was Þ nally hers. “I want you to come. I

want to hear you come.”

“I will, I promise.” Leslie didn’t recognize her own voice. Her body was

spinning out of control. It was wonderful. It was terrifying.

“I’ll come for you. I will. But I need to see your face, Dev. I need to see you

when I come. Please.”

Dev heard what sounded like fear and Þ nally raised her head.

Leslie’s eyes were nearly closed, her lips trembling. Her face and neck were ß

ushed, her breasts heaving. She was seconds from coming. The

heat from Leslie’s center beckoned and Dev ached to drive into her, drive her

over. Take her hard and deep. She wouldn’t hurt her, she knew she wouldn’t.

She would be inside her at last and Leslie would be coming for her. For her.

“Let’s lie down,” Dev said hoarsely, easing her Þ ngers from beneath Leslie’s

panties. She guided Leslie to the side of the bed and yanked down the covers

with one hand. She kicked out of her underwear as Leslie stretched out.

Carefully, she slid Leslie’s bikinis down her legs and settled beside her, one

thigh over Leslie’s. The touch of Leslie’s hot skin against her tense clitoris made

her want to come. She fought not to Þ nish herself off against Leslie’s leg, even

though it would only have taken a second. Instead, she held very still until she

mentally pushed back her body’s demand to climax. Leslie’s eyes were hazy,

her legs twitching on the crisp white sheets, her hands restless and urgent on

Dev’s back. She whimpered, words beyond her.

“Take my hand, baby,” Dev urged.

Leslie gripped Dev’s wrist.

“Take me inside, Les,” Dev pleaded. “Take me inside and come for me.”

Barely breathing, eyes Þ xed on Leslie’s, Dev kissed her. Dev moaned as Leslie

guided her Þ ngers between her legs. Leslie was wet, warm, open. At the Þ rst

light touch of Dev’s Þ ngertips to the hard prominence of Leslie’s clitoris,

Leslie’s head snapped back and she cried out.

Dev gritted her teeth at the surge of pressure in her groin. She wouldn’t come,

not yet. “More. Please, Les. Take me deeper.”

“Oh, I am going to come,” Leslie keened, thrusting onto Dev’s Þ ngers.

“Baby, you feel so good,” Dev said.

Leslie caught her lower lip between her teeth, her eyes wide, the blue eclipsed

by black as her pupils expanded wildly. She pushed Dev’s hand lower,

squeezing Dev’s wrist hard enough to leave the crescent indentations of her nails

in Dev’s skin. Her back arched as Dev entered her completely. The sweet

pleasure of Dev’s palm caressing her, of her Þ ngers stretching and Þ lling her,

was too much.

“I’m coming,” Leslie groaned.

Dev held her breath, watching Leslie’s face, feeling her spasm deep inside,

listening to her cries of pleasure. She wanted to laugh. She

wanted to cry. She wanted to shout with wonder. Leslie clung to her, sobbing

quietly, and Dev buried her face in the curve of Leslie’s neck.

“I love you,” Dev whispered. “Oh God, Leslie, I love you.”

Weakly, struggling to catch her breath, Leslie stroked Dev’s back.

Seconds passed, and Leslie slowly realized that Dev was shaking, her hips

jerking against Leslie’s thigh.

“Dev. Let me help you,” Leslie murmured, sliding her hand between her thigh

and Dev’s body to cup Dev’s swollen sex. She hissed in a breath when her Þ

ngers were instantly soaked. “Oh God, you’re beautiful. Tell me what you

need.”

“Squeeze my clit,” Dev gasped. “I need to come so bad.”

Leslie stroked her Þ rmly, squeezing and releasing, feeling her grow impossibly

hard. “Is it good, love? Is it what you need?”

“Oh yeah,” Dev sobbed, “oh yeah, God yeah, you’re making me come.”

Dev jerked in Leslie’s arms and her Þ ngers, still deep inside Leslie, thrust and ß

exed. Leslie cried out in surprise as another orgasm crashed through her, but she

stayed with Dev, stroking her through her orgasm until she lay limp and panting

in Leslie’s arms.

“Can you come again?” Leslie whispered, smoothing the damp hair from Dev’s

forehead. She kissed her, pleased by the hazy bliss in Dev’s eyes.

“Uh, maybe. In a year or two.” Dev sighed. “Jesus, that was intense.”

“Yeah?” Leslie smiled broadly. She had put that sated look in Dev’s eyes, that

lazy slur in her voice. She had done it, and she wanted to do it again. Now.

Immediately. “That was just the warm-up, you know.”

Dev quirked a brow. “You want more?”

“Oh yes,” Leslie said, realizing just how much she wanted. “I want much, much

more.”

“I love you,” Dev said quietly.

“I know.” Leslie stroked her cheek. “I’m so sorry it took me so long, Dev.”

“It’s okay,” Dev murmured, but she wasn’t so sure. In the morning, they’d both

return to their lives, and she wondered how she’d survive being without Leslie

after this.

“You look sad.” Leslie frowned with concern. “Dev?”

“No.” Dev forced a grin. “Just gathering my strength.”

With a laugh, Leslie pulled Dev on top of her and wrapped her legs around the

backs of Dev’s thighs. “You’re plenty strong enough for what I have in mind.

Now, shut up and kiss me.”

Dev surrendered willingly to the siren call of Leslie’s desire. The morning was at

least a lifetime away.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

When Leslie awoke, lying on her side with her breasts and abdomen pressed

against Dev’s back, the black plastic bedside clock read 3:20 a.m. in big white

numerals. She wasn’t entirely certain, but she thought she’d been asleep for at

least a few hours. The last thing she could recall was coming endlessly in Dev’s

mouth. At the memory, she felt a trickle of arousal tease down her thighs. She

couldn’t believe she was still excited after coming…three times? Four?

She couldn’t remember. Each pinnacle of pleasure seemed to blend into the

next, one sweeping crest of ever-mounting beauty and wonder after another.

Smiling softly to herself, she kissed the curve of Dev’s shoulder blade.

“Hey,” Leslie whispered into Dev’s ear as she slid her hand to the front of Dev’s

body and caressed her breasts. “You promised to make love to me all night

long.”

“Mmm?” Dev twitched and sighed, her nipples tightening beneath Leslie’s

insistent caresses.

“You,” Leslie said, holding back a laugh. “Promised.” She guided Dev onto her

back and straddled her hips. “To make love to me.” She swept her palms over

Dev’s breasts and down her abdomen, pressing her thumbs into Þ rm muscle as

she moved lower. “All. Night. Long.”

Leslie slipped her hand between Dev’s thighs and squeezed gently.

Dev’s eyes popped open as her hips jerked. She groaned, her gaze moving

from Leslie’s nude body draped over her to the hand between her legs. “Jesus.”

“Tired?” Leslie asked, her tone honey smooth.

“No,” Dev said, reaching for Leslie’s breasts.

Leslie caught Dev’s wrists, one in each hand, and let her weight fall forward to

pin Dev’s arms to the bed. Her breasts brushed Dev’s face before she arched

her back just enough to keep her erect nipples a breath away from Dev’s

mouth. “Uh uh uh. No you don’t.”

“Come on, Les,” Dev rasped, struggling to lift her shoulders from the bed. “Let

me suck them.”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Leslie said lightly, even though her stomach quivered at

the hungry look on Dev’s face. It was raw, unvarnished lust, but she knew in her

heart it was for her. Her. Not anyone, not any body. It was her, her body, her

touch, that Dev craved, and she thrilled to the power. “You had your way all

evening, and then”—she leaned down and kissed Dev until they were both

panting—

“you dropped the ball.”

Dev made a sound halfway between a groan and a growl. “I was just letting you

catch your breath.”

Leslie’s eyebrows rose. “Really.” She inched her hips higher until her center

rested on Dev’s stomach. She rotated slowly, rubbing over Dev’s skin until the

friction and heat made her clitoris pound painfully.

She rose and glanced down at the wet sheen on Dev’s taut stomach.

“Does that feel like I needed to rest?”

“No,” Dev gasped, her face contorted with thwarted pleasure. “I was wrong.

Jesus, let me touch you. I know you need me to.”

“Oh, you think?” Leslie struggled not to let her arousal show.

Seeing Dev’s desire for her was enough to make her wet, and the heat pouring

from Dev’s body as she writhed between Leslie’s thighs kept her so hard she

feared she’d climax from an accidental brush of her clitoris over Dev’s skin. Her

thighs trembled from keeping herself poised just above Dev’s body. “It looks to

me like you’re the one who needs to come. Do you?”

“Yes. No. Later.” Dev tried to twist her arms from Leslie’s grip, but besides the

fact that Leslie’s full weight held her down, her all-consuming arousal made her

weak. Her arms and legs shook and the muscles in her stomach quivered.

“Please.”

Leslie dipped her head and swept her tongue over Dev’s nipples.

Ignoring her own screaming arousal, she rubbed her sex up and down the apex

of Dev’s thighs. Dev was wet. So wet. “Please what?”

“Oh, Jesus,” Dev whimpered.

“Please what?” Leslie closed her teeth on Dev’s nipple, biting down until Dev

arched her back and cried out. “Hmm? What?”

Dev thrashed her head, Þ ghting for breath. “I don’t know. I don’t know. God.

I need you.”

I need you. Dev’s plea, so unguarded, so vulnerable, pierced Leslie’s heart, and

the heady sensation of control, of absolute power, was instantly replaced by

aching tenderness. She kissed Dev’s nipple, then her mouth. “Shh, love, I’m

here.”

Leslie released Dev’s wrists and rapidly pushed herself down the bed until she

lay between Dev’s thighs. She spread her Þ ngers over the soft, smooth skin,

her breath catching as her Þ ngertips glided through the hot, slick patina of

Dev’s desire. “Oh, you’re so wet.”

“For you,” Dev gasped.

“Yes,” Leslie breathed, skimming her lips through the fragrant perfume. “Mine.”

She rested her cheek between Dev’s legs, feeling Dev’s excitement beat against

her face. She turned her head a fraction and kissed the pulse that throbbed in

the center of Dev’s sex.

“So good.” Dev threaded her Þ ngers into Leslie’s hair. “That feels so good.

Suck me?”

Gently, Leslie pulled her between her lips, feeling her own body grow tighter

and tighter as Dev neared orgasm.

“Les,” Dev whispered shakily, “be inside me when I come.”

Leslie groaned, so aroused she feared she would ß y off in a thousand directions

before bringing Dev all the pleasure Dev had given her. Leslie eased into her and

felt the quick tightening of muscles as Dev moaned.

“Okay, love?” Leslie murmured, her throat thick with tears. She’d never wanted

to give so much yet felt so inadequate at the same time.

“Oh yes.” Dev’s Þ ngers spasmed as she tried to stroke Leslie’s face. Her voice

thin with strain, she whispered, “I’m going to come if you don’t…stop.”

“Too late,” Leslie laughed, taking Dev deep inside her mouth. At the same time

she Þ lled her and took her over, only stopping when Dev Þ nally jerked away.

“Baby,” Dev groaned, “baby, you gotta stop. I surrender.”

Leslie leaned on an elbow and pushed her hair back from her

face with her other hand. She grinned with satisfaction, watching Dev Þ ght for

breath. Dev was covered in sweat, her body gleaming in the lamplight.

“You’re so beautiful, Dev.” Leslie stared at the scar that ran from Dev’s

hipbone down the outside of her thigh. She kissed the damaged skin. “I love

you.”

“Come up here.” Dev struggled to sit up, extending one hand. “Let me hold

you.”

“Lie down. You’re supposed to be basking.”

“I’ll bask when I can hold you.”

Leslie settled against Dev’s side, her head on Dev’s shoulder.

Languidly, she stroked Dev’s chest and abdomen. “You make me feel sexy.”

Dev laughed incredulously. “I make you feel sexy? After that little display? I

didn’t do anything except let you have your way with me.”

“Mmm, that’s what I mean.” Leslie tilted her head and kissed Dev’s neck. “I

feel a hundred feet tall when I make you come.”

“I know,” Dev said, kissing Leslie’s forehead. “It’s the same for me when I

touch you.”

“It’s addicting.” Leslie propped her head in her hand, idly teasing Dev’s nipple

with a Þ ngertip. “I want you again.”

Dev hissed in her breath. “I might not survive the night.”

“You better.”

“Oh yeah?” Dev tapped Leslie’s chin. “Are you a morning girl?”

Leslie grew still, thinking that she really had no idea. She’d never been this way

with anyone. She’d never wanted so intensely, never hungered with an ache that

felt as if it would never be Þ lled. She’d never wanted to possess anyone this

way. “I think with you I’m a 24-7

kind of girl. Is that going to be a problem?”

“Not in this lifetime.”

Dev rolled onto her side until she faced Leslie. She kissed her, and what she’d

meant to be a kiss of reassurance rapidly turned into one of desire. She kept

kissing her as she slipped her Þ ngers between Leslie’s legs, knowing she hadn’t

come. Knowing she must still need to. When Leslie moaned, Dev guided her

onto her back, stroking inside her mouth with the same sure, steady rhythm as

between her legs.

Leslie whimpered, her tongue probing, her Þ ngers digging into Dev’s shoulders.

Feeling Leslie tense, her pelvis thrusting against Dev’s hand, Dev slid inside her.

She stayed motionless, buried deep within, letting Leslie set the pace. As Leslie

came, she jerked her head away, Þ nally breaking the kiss and releasing a long,

thin cry of pleasure.

“Oh God,” Leslie Þ nally gasped. “That’s it. You’re cut off until I have food.”

She nuzzled Dev’s neck drowsily. “We didn’t have dinner, remember?”

“So you’re going to stand me up for food?” Dev grinned, kissed Leslie lightly on

the tip of the nose, and jumped from bed.

“Where are you going?” Leslie sat up, pulling the sheets up to her waist. “Dev?”

Dev rummaged in the desk and returned with a leather folder in her hand. She

pulled the phone closer to the bed as she climbed back in next to Leslie. “Room

service.”

“Sweetheart, it’s four thirty in the morning.”

“So?” Dev found the menu and ß ipped to the all-night section.

“We’re in New York City. The kitchens never close.” She studied the page as

Leslie curled up in her lap. “How about burgers and champagne?

Will that do?”

“Dev,” Leslie said quietly.

“Hmm?” Dev curled one arm around Leslie’s shoulders and propped the menu

on her raised knee. “And maybe some chocolate cake.”

“Do you think it’s possible for us never to leave this room?”

Dev laughed. “I can probably stay another night. I’ll call in the morning about…”

She trailed off and closed the menu. Her face lost all expression. “When do you

have to leave?”

“I’ve got appointments scheduled midmorning,” Leslie said. Her heart beat

wildly, not from passion, but from fear. It had only been a few hours, a few

hours of unexpected and indescribable happiness, and now she felt it slipping

away. “I’m going to have to go in sometime today. Tomorrow. God, whenever

it is. I’ll call Þ rst thing and try to rearrange some of my meetings.”

“Leslie,” Dev said with a sigh. “You shouldn’t do that.”

Dev leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. The heavy drapes were still

closed, the bedside lamp turned down low. It was almost dawn, but it felt as if

they were cocooned in a time capsule, and if they just stayed there, kept the

door closed and the rest of the world outside,

they could keep this precious connection safe. She knew it wasn’t true.

As much as her heart wanted to believe, she knew they couldn’t hide from who

they were or how vastly different their lives were. “We’ve got a few more hours.

Let’s just make the most of them.”

Leslie sat up and swiveled on the bed until she faced Dev. “And that’s it? You

go back to Lake George and we write this off as a one-nighter that’s just Þ

fteen years overdue?”

“Hey,” Dev said gently, cupping Leslie’s cheek. “You know that’s not what this

is.”

“No, Dev, I don’t.” Leslie shook her head. “I don’t know what this is. I didn’t

expect to be here tonight. All I know is I had to see you because I couldn’t stop

thinking about you for the last four weeks.”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since I was seventeen years old, Les.”

Leslie ß inched, but she kept her voice steady. “All right. I deserved that.”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Dev pushed a hand through her hair.

“Jesus, this isn’t coming out right.” She took Leslie’s hand and rubbed her

cheek against the back of Leslie’s Þ ngers. “I haven’t wanted to care about

anyone since the night I drove away from your house on my bike. I’ve been

empty inside all this time. Except for how much I hurt missing you.”

“Oh, God, Dev.”

“It’s okay.” Dev grinned crookedly. “Well, after tonight, it’s a hell of a lot better

than it ever was. I’ve never felt anything like tonight.

When we were kids and I was kissing you and Mike found us, I felt like I did

tonight. Like you were all I needed to be whole. You were everything I needed,

and then I lost you.”

Tears streaked down Leslie’s cheeks and Dev brushed them gently away.

“When we made love tonight,” Dev said, her throat so tight she could hardly get

the words out, “I felt that way again. You Þ ll me up, you heal everything that

ever hurt.” Dev bowed her head over Leslie’s hand, closing her eyes. “Tonight

was worth any amount of pain, but I can’t keep living day after day wanting

you.” She raised her eyes, unable to hide the agony of loss she knew was

coming. “I’ll never regret tonight, but I have to accept it was just one perfect

night that ends in the morning, or I’m not going to make it. I can’t keep living

while I’m dying for you.”

Leslie’s hands were shaking as she caressed her Þ ngers through Dev’s hair,

then cradled her face. She leaned close and kissed her. “For a long time, I tried

to pretend that you and I were just really, really good friends. The best of

friends.” She laughed, the sound ending in a sob.

“And oh God, we were, weren’t we? Friends and so much more. I was so

crazy in love with you back then.”

“Yeah.” Dev caressed Leslie’s arm. “Yeah, me too.”

“And after that horrible night with Mike, I couldn’t face my own cowardice and

I tried to hide it all away by pretending I didn’t feel what I felt for you. And

when I Þ nally did admit I was a lesbian, I still wouldn’t let anyone be important

to me. Not the way you were.”

“Rachel?”

Leslie shook her head. “I cared about her. But I didn’t need her and I didn’t

want her to need me. There were a few others, always the same. I kept

everyone a safe distance away.”

“When I saw you at the train station, it was like those Þ fteen years didn’t exist,”

Dev said. “When I kiss you, when we make love, I can almost believe it, almost.

But I know it’s not true. You have your life.

We both do. Different lives.”

“I just found you,” Leslie whispered. “I’m not going to lose you again. I love

you.”

Dev swallowed hard, trying to hold everything inside, but she just couldn’t. Her

body, her soul, her heart were too open after hours of loving Leslie. She’d let

her inside the places no one had ever touched before, and now she was

defenseless. She pulled Leslie close and buried her face against Leslie’s neck,

her shoulders shaking as she sobbed.

“I’m sorry. I can’t. Fuck, I’m so scared.”

“It’s okay,” Leslie soothed, stroking Dev’s head. “It’s okay, love.

I promise.” She wasn’t sure how she would make it all right, but she knew she

had to. “Will you just do one thing for me?”

Sitting up, Dev took a shuddering breath and rubbed her forearm across her

face. “Anything.”

“Let tonight be beautiful, because it is.” She kissed Dev tenderly.

“We both know what we had. Let’s see what we can have. Don’t give up, Dev.

Please.”

Dev closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Leslie’s. “Will you call

me?”

“Of course.” Leslie knew then that Dev didn’t trust her not to disappear. And

why should she? She’d done it before. More than

once. “I’m coming back up to the lake in a month. If I can get back sooner—”

“No, a month is good.” Dev raised her head, a smile ß ickering valiantly. “I

probably need a little time to get my heart rate back to normal. And tell me

you’re not busy here.”

Leslie sighed. “I’m swamped. But I can handle it—”

“Oh, yeah. You can handle it. That’s why you collapsed—what—

six weeks ago, from stress and overwork?”

“I’m Þ ne now,” Leslie said Þ rmly. “I am. Really. I’m taking the goddamn

pills.”

“No symptoms at all?”

“Dev, love, if I was going to have an episode, I would’ve had it sometime

tonight.” Leslie kissed Dev swiftly. “My heart’s had quite a workout.”

Dev couldn’t hide a pleased grin. “All the same, you just got back.

I’ll see you in a few weeks and…we’ll see.”

“You’ll be there when I come up, right?”

Dev nodded.

“Promise?”

Dev held Leslie tightly and tried not to think it might be one of the last times. “I

promise.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Mom?” Leslie called as she walked into the dining room at Lakeview and

dropped her suitcase on the ß oor. “Anybody here?”

“Leslie?” Eileen called from the top of the second-ß oor staircase.

Leslie stopped and craned her neck, smiling when she saw her mother. “Hi.”

“You’re early,” Eileen said, her pleasure obvious as she descended to the

ground ß oor. “I didn’t expect you until tomorrow.”

“I got things wrapped up early this week and decided to come up today.” She

tried to sound casual and not like she couldn’t wait one more day to see Dev,

which was the real reason she’d left Manhattan at noon on Thursday instead of

waiting until Friday as planned. She and Dev had talked on the phone a few

times in the last month, but their schedules rarely meshed and the conversations

always seemed rushed and superÞ cial. At least, she hoped it was because they

hadn’t had much time to connect. Dev had sounded distant, and there had been

no mention of the night they’d spent together. Or whether there would be any

more.

“Well, I hope you intend to actually rest this weekend. I’m not going to let you

work the whole time.”

“I’m still going to help close up. But,” Leslie hastened to add when she saw her

mother frown, “I promise to relax too.”

After giving Leslie a hug, Eileen pointed to Leslie’s luggage. “Do you want a

room upstairs since you’re only going to be here a few days?”

“Uh,” Leslie said, feeling her face color, “I’d rather have the same cabin I had

last time, if it’s available.”

“It’s quiet this weekend—all the kids have gone back to school—

so it’s empty.”

“Great.”

“Hungry?”

Leslie laughed. “As a matter of fact, I’m starved. Let me get settled and I’ll

come back and get a sandwich or something. Where’s Daddy?” She scanned

the great room where a few guests were seated, but didn’t see him.

“He’s down at the dock with Dev.”

“With Dev?” Leslie’s breath caught in her throat and she knew her mother

noticed. “I mean, I thought at this time of day, she’d be at the lab.”

“Does she know you’re coming?”

Leslie shook her head. “Not today.”

“She happened to be around when they were pulling one of the boats out, and

she and your father got talking about something to do with Þ shing.” Eileen

smiled. “Apparently Dev doesn’t Þ sh, but she appreciates that the Þ shermen

know more about Þ nding Þ sh in the lake than anyone else. I think your father’s

been regaling her with stories for the last hour.”

As her mother talked, Leslie drifted toward the front windows. She pushed the

lace curtain aside and scanned the dock below the house.

Her father sat in a deck chair in front of the boathouse talking to Dev, who

leaned with a shoulder against the dark green clapboards, her legs casually

crossed at the ankles and her hands in her pockets. She wore jeans and a red ß

annel shirt and even from this distance, she looked so sexy Leslie ached to get

her hands on her.

“How’s Natalie?” Leslie asked.

Eileen joined her at the window and answered as if the question hadn’t come

out of nowhere. “Well, she always seems to be in great spirits. It’s been busy

this summer, so I take it between supervising the campgrounds and keeping an

eye on shenanigans out on the lake, she’s been pretty busy.”

“So I guess you don’t see her too much.”

“Sweetie,” Eileen said gently, “why don’t you just ask Dev if she’s seeing

Natalie?”

Leslie hesitated. “Because I’m afraid of what she might say.”

“Would it be prying if I asked you about Rachel?”

“No,” Leslie said softly, still watching Dev. “We’re not seeing each other any

longer. I broke it off right after the Fourth of July.”

“Are you okay?”

“I think so. We ran into each other at a fundraiser a week ago and spoke for a

few minutes. She seemed…like Rachel.” The conversation had been what she

would have expected—brief, pleasant, totally without intimacy. Rachel had been

there with a date, although it probably wasn’t obvious to most attendees that the

leggy brunette who watched Rachel’s every move was more than an

acquaintance. But Leslie knew the signs. It hadn’t bothered her, and she hadn’t

expected it to. “I know Natalie has a thing for Dev.”

“Mmm, maybe.” Eileen patted Leslie’s shoulder. “What matters, though, is who

Dev has a thing for.”

Leslie sighed. “I wish it were that simple.”

“Why isn’t it? You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

“Like crazy.”

“And if she feels the same way?”

“We’re completely incompatible,” Leslie said. “Our jobs, our lifestyles, where

we live. And Dev isn’t interested in a casual relationship.”

“Are you?”

Leslie leaned her head against the window frame, thinking that she’d only ever

had casual relationships, no matter how long-term or monogamous. They had

been convenient, simple, and satisfying in a limited way. She’d spent one night

with Dev, whom she’d known far better as a teenager than as an adult, and

realized immediately that that one night was more meaningful than all the other

nights she’d spent with other women. “I think she’s it for me.”

“Then you’d best get around to telling her that. She’s been jumpy and distracted

all summer, and I’m willing to bet it’s because of you.”

Eileen slipped her arm around Leslie’s shoulders and gave her a quick hug.

“Don’t wonder how she feels, sweetie. Just ask her.”

Leslie smiled. “Yes, Mom.”

“If you want to Þ nd the big bass, you’ve got to go twenty miles farther north

than ten years ago,” Paul Harris complained. “And even then, you won’t see the

really big ones anymore.”

Dev nodded, her eyes on the woman making her way down the grassy slope

toward them. The late-afternoon sun had taken on the amber hue of

approaching autumn, and Leslie, with her softly layered blond hair, pale silk

blouse, and navy slacks, looked radiant.

Following Dev’s gaze, Paul twisted in his chair, then grinned.

“Hey, look who’s here.”

Leslie smiled as she leaned down to kiss him. “Hi, Daddy. How’s your leg?”

“One more week,” he said, thumping his walking cast. “Pretty good timing, huh?

Just missed closing up.”

“Very smart of you.” Leslie squeezed her father’s shoulder but her attention was

on Dev. “Hi.”

Dev pushed away from the wall, her heart thundering so loudly she felt as if she

were in an echo chamber. “Hi. I thought tomorrow—”

“I know. I couldn’t…I got a break.”

“That’s good.” Dev knew she was barely making any sense, but she hadn’t

expected to see Leslie for another twenty-four hours. She wasn’t ready. She

wasn’t ready for the body blow that just being near Leslie always produced.

She felt shaky, a little light-headed, and hot.

Her skin was hot. She was hot inside. She was burning, and Leslie was the cool,

cool water she needed to soothe her, inside and out.

“Mom said you were talking about Þ sh.”

“Yes.”

“How’s the work going?”

“Pretty much done.”

Paul looked from one to the other, his expression curious. He maneuvered

himself out of his chair and into the nearby motorized cart Leslie had insisted on

getting for him earlier in the summer. “I’m going to head on up to the house. See

you for supper, Les?”

“Uh-huh. Probably.”

“Well,” he said, turning the key in the ignition. “I’ll see you sometime this

weekend, honey.”

For a few minutes, the motor drowned out the possibility of conversation, and

as the roar died off in the distance, Dev crossed the dock to Leslie’s side.

“How have you been?”

“Fine, I’m Þ ne. You?”

“Good.” Dev grinned. “You look great.”

“Thank you,” Leslie said softly. “I’ve been watching you from the house for

about half an hour.”

“Yeah?” Dev leaned toward Leslie, her gaze skimming down her body.

“I want to tear your clothes off.”

“Same here.”

“Should we talk Þ rst?”

Dev watched Leslie’s nipples tighten beneath the sheer blouse.

“No. Not until I’ve heard you come at least once.”

Leslie’s lips parted in surprised pleasure. “You like that, do you?”

“Oh yeah. I’ve been putting myself to sleep for a month remembering how you

sound when you come in my arms.”

“Oh, that’s not fair.”

“I don’t last very long, thinking about it,” Dev murmured, watching Leslie’s lids

grow heavy.

“I’m not sure I can make it to the cabin.”

“Boathouse?”

Leslie took Dev’s hand and tugged her inside. The air was hazy with heat and

dust and thick with the scent of old wood and water. She leaned against the wall

in a dimly lit corner and dragged Dev against her, her hands sliding down to grip

Dev’s ass. “Do you have any idea what you just did to me?”

“I want to make you so hot you’ll come if I just breathe on you.”

“Keep it up and it won’t take that much.” Leslie straddled Dev’s lean thigh. “I’m

so wet already.”

Dev tangled her Þ ngers in Leslie’s hair and kissed her roughly.

Every day for the last month, she’d told herself that Leslie would be here, and

while her mind had believed it, her heart had never been quite sure. Now that

Leslie was this close, all she wanted was to feel that she was real. She sucked

on the tip of Leslie’s tongue and fondled her breasts, her hips pinning Leslie to

the wall. Finally she pulled her mouth away. “I’m not going to fuck you out here.

But God, I want to.”

Leslie dug her Þ ngers into Dev’s tight butt. “You’ll make me come just doing

this.”

“Les,” Dev gasped, kissing her neck hungrily, unable to stop as Leslie rode her

thigh harder. “Someone might walk in.”

“No. There’s no one…” Leslie turned her head and plunged her tongue into

Dev’s mouth.

Groaning, Dev pinched Leslie’s nipple, twisting in time to her pumping hips.

“I’m going to come,” Leslie moaned, her head falling back against the wall. “Oh

Dev, God, I’m really coming.”

Dev felt Leslie’s knees buckle and grabbed her around the waist, holding her up

as she trembled, her face buried against Dev’s shoulder to stiß e her cries. As

Leslie’s orgasm trailed off, Dev cradled Leslie, stroking her hair and her back.

“Okay, baby? You okay?”

“I’m totally humiliated.” Leslie laughed softly. “Talk about no control.”

“You’re so sexy I thought my heart would stop.” Dev nuzzled Leslie’s neck.

“You’re beautiful when you’re like that. When you want me.”

“Oh, Dev.” Leslie lifted her head and kissed Dev softly. “I want you so much I

can’t stand it.” She caressed Dev’s face. “And not just like this, either.”

“We better try to get to the cabin.”

“Are you in a bad way?” Leslie asked teasingly, recognizing the low, husky note

in Dev’s voice.

“I’m afraid something is about to explode.”

“You got to hear me come.” Leslie nipped at Dev’s chin. “Let me watch you.”

Dev sucked in a breath. “Here?”

Leslie stroked Dev’s breasts, then reached down and popped the button on her

ß y. “Yes. It makes me crazy thinking about you making yourself come.”

“You’ve got me so hot, it’s going to take about two seconds,” Dev whispered,

bracing her arm against the wall next to Leslie’s shoulder.

She slid her hand into her jeans and groaned. “Touch me too. Just touch me

somewhere.”

“Whatever you need,” Leslie murmured, caressing Dev’s stomach and thighs as

Dev tensed, her arm vibrating between her legs. “Feel good?”

“Uh-huh,” Dev managed between gritted teeth. The muscles in her neck stood

out and her thighs quivered as Þ re leapt in her belly.

“Oh, Jesus, I’m close.”

Leslie cupped the outside of Dev’s crotch, spreading her Þ ngers over Dev’s

where they circled beneath the denim. “Mmm, I can feel you getting ready to go.

You’re almost there, aren’t you?”

“Close,” Dev muttered, “soon, ah almost, Les.”

“Need help, love?” Leslie crooned, licking Dev’s neck.

“Push down on my Þ ngers.” Dev groaned as Leslie pressed rhythmically.

“Harder, baby. Harder…har…oh, oh yeah.”

Dev sagged against Leslie as her orgasm hit, and Leslie kissed her, swallowing

her cries of release.

“Beautiful,” Leslie sighed, cradling Dev’s face against her shoulder, caressing her

sweat-streaked cheek. “Thank you.”

“Same here,” Dev muttered, struggling to get her legs under her again. She

braced her arms against the wall once more and pushed upright. Grinning, she

kissed Leslie. “I think we’ve established we missed each other.”

“It would seem that way.” Leslie had never felt anything quite so perfect in her

life, and she wasn’t ready to examine what that meant.

“And since I don’t want to be tempted again until we’re really alone…”

She zipped Dev’s ß y and buttoned her jeans. “There. Can you walk?”

“Just about.”

Leslie wrapped her arm around Dev’s waist. “Let’s go to your cabin.”

“No fooling around on the way.” Dev circled Leslie’s shoulders with one arm,

holding her close. “I have a short recovery phase, and I’ll be ready again soon.”

“I remember.” Leslie rubbed her cheek against Dev’s shoulder. “I have a few

favorite memories for use at bedtime too.”

Dev groaned. “See, you’re starting already.”

“Then we’d better hurry.”

When they reached the cabin, Dev went to the refrigerator and extracted two

India Pale Ales. She opened both and passed one bottle to Leslie, who leaned

against the counter nearby. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.” Leslie sipped the beer. “Can I ask you something personal?”

The corner of Dev’s mouth rose. “I think we’ve reached that point.”

Unexpectedly uncertain, Leslie studied her beer bottle. “Are you seeing anyone

else?”

Immediately, Dev put her bottle on the counter and cupped

Leslie’s chin. She lifted her face and looked directly into her eyes. “No.

I haven’t been with anyone except you for over a year.” She waited, studying

Leslie’s face. “Natalie and I are friends.”

“I had to ask,” Leslie said quietly. “Because if I think about you with anyone

else it makes me…pretty much insane.”

“I like that.” Dev kissed Leslie softly. “I like that a lot.”

“And I…”

Dev stopped her with another kiss, then eased away and retrieved her beer. Still

watching Leslie, she sipped. “When I was younger, I tortured myself thinking

about you with Mike. Last month, when I thought about you with Rachel, it hurt

so much I couldn’t even let myself get that far. I guess that’s some kind of

progress.”

“There’s no one, Dev. No one I want to touch me except you.”

“I love you, you know,” Dev said softly.

“I love you too. Madly. Do you have any idea what we’re going to do?”

“No,” Dev replied, her expression suddenly unsure.

“Tell you what,” Leslie said, grasping Dev’s hand. “Let’s have dinner with my

parents, because they’ll want to see me and we’ll need to eat if we’re going to

do what I plan on doing for the rest of the night.”

Dev grinned.

“And tomorrow, we’ll talk.”

“That means no touching, then.”

Leslie sighed. “I hope it doesn’t rain, because the only way I can promise that is

if we’re sitting outside in full view of my mother and everyone else in the lodge.”

And considering that just seeing Dev was enough to make her mind melt, she

wasn’t even sure an audience would be enough deterrent.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Do you think my mother will notice if I only show up for meals?” Leslie laced

her Þ ngers through Dev’s as they walked through the woods toward the lodge

for breakfast. “Considering that we disappeared right after dinner last night?”

Dev tugged her to a stop at the edge of the clearing. “If we walk in together

again, and you still have that look on your face, your mother is going to know

what we’ve been doing all night.”

“What look?”

“That ‘I’ve just been fu—’”

“I do not have that look,” Leslie feigned indignation.

Dev dragged her off the trail and pinned her against a tree with the weight of her

body, her forearms on either side of Leslie’s shoulders.

“You do. Your eyes are soft and dreamy,” she kissed Leslie’s eyelids,

“and your lips are a little bit bruised,” she skimmed her tongue over Leslie’s

lower lip, “and it takes you a lonnng time to make sentences.”

She cupped Leslie’s breast and kissed her more seriously. “And you keep

sending me signals that keep me hard all the time.”

“Maybe I want you hard and hungry all the time,” Leslie murmured.

She returned the kiss vigorously, then abruptly pushed Dev away and snuck out

from underneath her arm. She was breathing hard and she was wet again, and

she was almost afraid to let Dev know how much she wanted her every single

second. “But I happen to be hungry for pancakes.”

“Then try to behave while we’re in there,” Dev threatened, seizing Leslie’s hand

once more. “Because you’re driving me crazy.”

“Oh good.”

“Have a heart. I don’t want your mother to see me whimpering and drooling.”

“Why not? She knows we’ve got something going on.”

“She does?” Dev asked in surprise.

“Well, she knows I’ve got the major hots for you.”

“How?”

“Because I told her.”

Dev stopped again. “You did? When?”

Leslie dipped her head, suddenly shy. “More or less all summer. I think she

knew before I did how serious it was.”

“Serious, huh?” Dev circled Leslie’s waist and pulled her close.

She brushed her cheek against Leslie’s, then murmured in her ear,

“How serious?”

“Very.” Leslie wrapped her arms around Dev’s shoulders and leaned her head

on Dev’s shoulder as she watched the mist rise off the lake and burn away in the

early morning sunshine. “We’re never going to make it to the lodge if you keep

grabbing me.”

“Can’t help myself.” Dev stroked Leslie’s hair. “I’ve got a lot of time to make

up for.”

“Could take a while.”

“I know.”

“I’m hungry.”

Dev laughed. “I love you.”

“I love you. Give me a cup of coffee and something to eat and I’ll show you just

how much.”

“Last night you promised to help your father down at the boathouse this

morning.”

Leslie frowned. “I did? That must have been when I was fantasizing about silk

scarves and tying you—”

“Oh yeah. Sounds good.” Dev kissed her quickly. “But we don’t have to do it

all today. We’ve got time.”

“Do we?” Leslie asked softly.

“Remember our deal,” Dev said softly. “Food Þ rst, then go help your father.

We’ll talk this afternoon before we go back to the cabin.”

Leslie nodded seriously, wishing they could pretend just a little while longer that

this magic time would never end. “All right.”

“It will be okay, Les,” Dev said, but her eyes were troubled.

“I know,” Leslie said, wanting fervently to believe.

Dev leaned back on her elbows on the grassy slope, enjoying the sunshine, the

breeze off the lake, and the view. The best part of the view was Leslie, cleaning

and stowing gear under her father’s direction down on the dock. She’d dressed

for dirty work in cut-off blue jeans, a faded T-shirt, and old sneakers. Dev

hadn’t seen her look so casual, or so relaxed, since their last summer in high

school. Leslie was all woman now, but her light laughter ß oating up the hill

reminded Dev of when they were kids and the summer seemed endless. For the

Þ rst time, the memories didn’t hurt.

As Leslie walked up the hill, she studied Dev with a quizzical expression. “What

are you thinking of?”

“You.”

To her surprise, Leslie felt herself blushing. They’d spent nearly every minute

since she’d arrived making love, and there hadn’t been a place on her body Dev

hadn’t touched. But the tender way she spoke as she gazed at her—as if Leslie

were the most beautiful woman in the world—struck a chord far deeper than

even the intense physical passion they had shared. Leslie dropped down next to

Dev and kissed her on the cheek. “What about me?”

“I was just thinking that being with you now has given me back some of the

most important moments of my life.” Dev covered Leslie’s hand with hers. “I

feel like I’ve spent my whole life loving you.” She met Leslie’s gaze. “And it’s all

good, now.”

Leslie’s lips parted as her eyes quickly misted over. “Oh, Dev. I don’t think I

can stand not to be with you.”

With a sigh, Dev sat up and folded her arms on her bent knees.

“I’ve been offered a research position at the Freshwater Institute.”

“In Bolton?” Leslie said, picturing the lab only twenty minutes away from her

parents’ house. Three hours from Manhattan.

“Yes.”

“Is that what you want, though?” Leslie asked, Þ nding it hard to believe that

Dev would be happy working inside in a lab all the time.

“I wouldn’t take it unless they let me make my own schedule, including time

away for Þ eldwork.” Dev met Leslie’s gaze. “I’d be a lot closer to you, then,

most of the time.”

“But is it what you want?”

“What I want, Leslie, is you.”

“What about…what I do?” Leslie asked softly. “You must hate it.”

Dev shrugged, smiling slightly. “I’ve spent enough time as an expert witness to

know that the environmental protection laws aren’t perfect. On some level, I

understand what bothers you about them. And why you defend people accused

of breaking them.” She gazed out at the lake, thinking about the schools of Þ sh

that had been driven out by pollution and misuse of the waterways. “But they’re

the best we have, so I have to work with them. I have to do what I can while

there’s still time.”

“And you don’t think that would eventually come between—”

“Greetings!” Natalie called, striding across the lawn toward them.

She was in uniform, and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and tucked

beneath a green cap with the forest service emblem on the front. “Hi, Leslie.

Dev said you were coming up, but I thought it was tonight.”

“I came up a day early, as it happens.”

Natalie’s eyes ß ickered to Dev, and Leslie saw her expression change to one

of speculation. “Really. So how are you doing?”

“Fine. Great, actually,” Leslie said, leaning back slightly to look up as Natalie

stopped beside her. “How about you?”

Natalie squatted down with a shake of her head. “Ask me at the end of this

crazy weekend. It’s the last big rush until leaf season.

Everybody’s trying to catch the last little bit of summer.”

“I feel the same way, even if the lake is already too cold to swim.”

Leslie realized she wasn’t jealous, even though Natalie had probably expected

to Þ nd Dev alone. Dev was by her side, had awakened in her bed, had called

her name in the night. “I hope things stay quiet for you.”

“They might,” Natalie said with a sigh, her eyes narrowing as she stared down to

the water. “If people would stop doing idiotic things like that.”

Leslie followed her gaze. A tour boat, one of the broad, ß at-bottomed

sightseeing craft Þ lled with rows of deck chairs for people to sit in while the

boat made a slow circuit along the shoreline, lumbered into view. It was packed

with people, standing and sitting. More people than Leslie could ever remember

seeing in one of those boats.

“I can’t imagine that’s very much fun,” Leslie said, “being crammed together like

sard—oh my God!”

“Jesus Christ!” Dev shouted, jumping up.

The boat tilted to one side and, in a fraction of a second, capsized.

Leslie, Dev, and Natalie raced toward the water as the panicked shouts of the

people who had been thrown into the lake seventy feet from shore Þ lled the air.

“We need rescue boats in Bolton Landing by the Lakeview,”

Natalie shouted into her radio. “And paramedics. We’ve got people in the

water. At least two dozen.”

While Natalie was organizing the rescue, Leslie and Dev kicked off their shoes

and dove into the lake. Some people were already straggling to shore but others

were clearly in trouble, ß ailing in the water and screaming. Leslie, her strokes

hard and clean, swam past the people who were close enough to make it to

safety on their own. She saw at least three people go under and not come up

again. Dev was close by, slightly behind her. Dev had never been as fast as

Leslie in the water.

Leslie reached the Þ rst ß oundering victim in less than a minute.

“Stop struggling and let me help you,” she shouted, treading water a few feet

away to avoid being struck by the man’s windmilling arms.

“I can’t swim,” he cried hoarsely, his eyes wild with panic. “My wife. My wife. I

can’t Þ nd my wife.”

“I’ll tow you to shore,” Leslie called, cautiously approaching.

“Let me grab your shirt. Don’t hit me.”

Her words seemed to penetrate his panic, because he relaxed enough for her to

get her arm over his shoulder from behind and under his armpit. “Just relax and

kick your feet. I’ll do the rest of the work.”

“My wife,” he gasped. “Please Þ nd my wife.”

When Leslie got him close enough to shore that he could stand on the bottom,

she let him go. Natalie and her mother and some of the guests were helping

people from the water. Leslie didn’t stop, but turned and immediately swam

back to the overturned boat. The white-painted bottom glinted unnaturally in the

sunlight. She dove, powering down until she could peer around the side into

what had been the open passenger compartment. She’d hoped that air, and

possibly survivors, had been trapped beneath. There was nothing under the boat

but a body ß oating lazily to and fro. Swallowing back her horriÞ ed gasp, she

kicked

away and pumped toward the surface, gulping air when she broke free.

Then she grabbed the closest victim and started back toward shore.

“The boat’s here,” Natalie shouted, in water up to her waist, as Leslie wearily

guided an elderly woman into Natalie’s outstretched arms.

“How many…how many more can you see,” Leslie gasped, her arms and legs

leaden. She’d lost track of the passage of time or how many trips she’d made

back out to the slowly sinking boat.

“Six or seven,” Natalie said. “You’re too tired, Leslie. Stay ashore.”

But Leslie could still hear screaming. Ignoring Natalie, she turned and plunged

back into the water. She thought she saw Dev dragging an unconscious man

toward shore, but she wasn’t sure. On her next trip back, she collapsed to her

knees in the shallow water, struggling for breath.

“Leslie,” her mother said urgently, “don’t go back out. You’re ready to

collapse.”

“Where’s…Dev,” Leslie rasped. “Is she…in?”

Eileen glanced anxiously around. The grass abutting the shoreline was covered

with victims, some unconscious, others moaning or crying.

The wail of sirens added to the chaos as paramedics raced down from the

parking lot. “I don’t see her. She must be here somewhere.”

A surge of adrenaline spurred Leslie upright, and, heart pounding, she scanned

the shore. Natalie was directing the paramedics toward the most seriously

injured. A few guests from the lodge were handing out blankets, and her father

was transporting the less injured up the hill in his cart. But she didn’t see Dev.

She spun toward the lake. Twenty yards offshore she saw Dev laboring slowly

with another struggling victim in tow. As she watched, the woman ß ailed wildly

and both she and Dev went under the surface. Leslie dove back into the icy

water.

Leslie pulled underwater, stroke after stroke. She was faster underwater, and

she didn’t need to see. She knew these waters, this shoreline, this lake like she

knew her own reß ection in the mirror. She knew exactly where Dev was.

Lungs screaming, she stayed under until she reached Dev’s location. When she

burst through the surface, she circled frantically. “Dev! Dev!”

The rescue boat was only yards away and Leslie thought she recognized the

woman they pulled aboard. The one Dev had been towing. Dev wasn’t there.

Dev wasn’t anywhere. No. No no no. She

circled one more time, and suddenly Dev surfaced just beyond arm’s reach. Her

face was contorted with pain and even as Leslie’s heart thrilled with elation, Dev

slid beneath the water and did not come up.

JackkniÞ ng, Leslie plunged headÞ rst and reached her within seconds.

She grabbed Dev’s hand and dragged her up into the air.

Dev coughed and gagged as Leslie grabbed her shirt.

“You’re okay, sweetheart. You’re okay. I’ve got you,” Leslie gasped.

“That…woman…lost her,” Dev wheezed. “Need to…look.”

“She’s okay. She’s in the boat. Can you swim? Dev! Can you swim?”

Dev shook her head. “Cramp in my…hip. Can’t…”

“You hold on to me.” Leslie gripped Dev’s shirt so hard her Þ ngers went

numb. “You hear me? You hold on to me, and I’ll get you to shore.”

Dev didn’t answer, but she did her best to help Leslie as Leslie swam them both

toward safety. Natalie waded out into chest-high water to meet them and

grabbed Dev around the waist.

“I’ve got her,” Natalie said.

Leslie kept swimming, her hold on Dev never loosening. She didn’t feel the cold

or the pain in her arms and legs or the burning in her lungs. All she knew was

that she would not lose Dev. Not ever again.

“Leslie,” Natalie shouted. “Let go. I’ve got her.”

Eileen joined Natalie and wrapped her arm around Leslie. “It’s all right, sweetie.

It’s all right. Let Natalie help you. Let go now.”

Natalie and Eileen dragged Dev and Leslie onto the bank.

Slumping down, shivering violently, Leslie pulled Dev into her lap.

She pressed Dev’s face to her breasts and wrapped her as tightly as she could

in her arms. Dev’s lips were blue, her face terrifyingly white.

“Dev, love, are you all right?” Leslie cried. She brushed Dev’s hair from her

face, stroked her cheek, kissed her forehead. “Dev?”

“I’m okay,” Dev gasped. “Les, I’m okay.”

Natalie draped a rescue blanket around Leslie’s shoulders and another over

Dev.

“It’ll be a while before we can get her to an ambulance,” Natalie said. “They’re

overloaded and transporting victims as fast as they can.”

“Don’t need an ambulance,” Dev said, her teeth chattering. “Just need to get

warm.”

“Go help the others, Natalie,” Leslie said, rubbing Dev’s back and arms. “I’ll

take care of her.”

Natalie smiled and brieß y touched Leslie’s cheek. “I know you will. I’ll be

back. You stay warm too.”

Leslie closed her eyes and cradled Dev, absolutely certain that there was

nothing else in the world she wanted except Dev. She closed her eyes, Þ ghting

to stay awake. The sound of an engine approaching Þ nally roused her. Her

father guided his motorized cart up next to them.

“Can you get her up in here, honey? I’ll take you both up to the lodge.”

Dev opened her eyes and met Leslie’s. “I can make it if you give me a hand.”

“You bet,” Leslie said, kissing Dev softly on the mouth.

“Anytime.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

As soon as her father dropped Leslie and Dev off in front of the lodge and

hurried back down the hill to help transport other injured, Leslie took Dev

upstairs, raided her parents’ closet for dry clothes, and led her into one of the

empty guestrooms.

“Let me help you get your clothes off,” Leslie said, tugging Dev’s shirt from her

jeans.

“I got it,” Dev rasped. “You get undressed too. You’re shaking.”

“At least I’m not blue,” Leslie snapped, still remembering the terror of watching

Dev slide beneath the surface of the lake. “Oh, God, I’m sorry.” She brushed a

trembling hand over her face. “I was just so scared.” She pulled Dev, wet

clothes and all, into her arms and hugged her close. “I was afraid I was going to

lose you. I couldn’t bear it, Dev.

I just couldn’t.”

“It’s okay.” Dev wrapped her arms around Leslie’s waist and rocked her.

“We’re both okay.”

Still shaky, but immeasurably comforted by Dev’s rapidly returning strength,

Leslie leaned behind her to turn on the shower, keeping one hand on Dev’s

shoulder. “Let’s get warm, and then I’ll Þ nd something for us to wear.”

Wordlessly, Dev stripped off the rest of her clothes and stumbled into the

steaming water, leaving the door ajar for Leslie to follow. For long moments she

leaned against the wall, not speaking, eyes closed, her hand linked with Leslie’s.

As the heat penetrated her body, her mind cleared. With clarity came disbelief.

The events at the lake seemed like a surreal dream, a nightmare that had slid into

her consciousness, leaving indelible images of horror behind.

“I still can’t believe it,” Leslie whispered, seeming to read Dev’s mind.

“Neither can I.” Dev ß ung her hair back out of her face and met Leslie’s eyes.

“You’re amazing. I can’t even guess how many people you just saved.”

Tears brimmed in Leslie’s eyes. “No more than you.”

Dev shook her head. “I never could swim like you. I think you made two trips

to my one. Jesus, Les. Are you okay?”

“I have no idea.” Leslie’s smile was brittle. “All I know is that you’re here and

that’s all that matters.”

“I love you,” Dev said, gently drawing Leslie back into her arms.

She rested her cheek against Leslie’s hair. “And it feels so good.”

“Better than anything in the world.” Leslie kissed the base of Dev’s throat, then

her mouth.

A few minutes later, dressed in borrowed pants and sweatshirts, barefoot

except for thick socks, Dev and Leslie went back downstairs.

Leslie carried another sweatshirt under one arm.

“The sun is going down,” Dev observed as she walked to the front window.

“It’s going to get cold pretty fast. Looks like they’ve got almost everyone into

the ambulances now.”

“Can you start a Þ re in the great room?” Leslie asked Dev. “I’m going to take

this down to Natalie and see if I can get my mother and father to come inside.

They’ve got to be freezing.”

“Tell Natalie she needs to take a break. Get her to come inside and get warm

too.”

“I will,” Leslie said, tugging on her mother’s rubber mud boots.

“I’ll be right back.”

By the time Leslie returned with Natalie, her parents, and a deputy sheriff, Dev

had a roaring blaze going, the heat and ß ames chasing away the ghosts in her

mind as well as the chill from her bones. While Natalie, Eileen, and Paul went to

change into dry clothing, the sheriff—

a short-haired blonde with the body of a rugby player who introduced herself as

Jules Kipling—asked Leslie and Dev for their account of events. They were just

starting the interview when Natalie, wearing khaki pants that were six inches too

long and a faded blue cable-knit sweater, joined them.

“I’m Sergeant Natalie Evans, Park Service,” Natalie said to the sheriff.

“Sergeant.” The sheriff nodded a greeting as Natalie sat down on the couch next

to Dev. “I suspect when things are all sorted out this will fall under Park

jurisdiction because it happened on the lake. Just the same, I think we better

consider it a joint investigation for now.”

“Fine,” Natalie said, studying the blonde. “I didn’t get your name.”

“It’s Kipling.” The sheriff smiled as her eyes held Natalie’s just a beat longer

than absolutely necessary. “But you can call me Kip.”

Natalie ß ashed a weary grin. “Thanks. So shall we nail down the facts before

we’re too tired to remember the details?”

Jules Kipling took careful notes, as did Natalie, who wrote on a borrowed

tablet of paper that Leslie provided her from Eileen Harris’s ofÞ ce. All three

witnesses’ accounts were substantially similar. Forty minutes later everyone

agreed that further statements could be taken the next day.

“How many didn’t survive?” Leslie asked quietly. When Dev reached for her

hand, she cradled it between hers, happy to feel the warmth in her Þ ngers.

“Just one, thanks to all of you,” Jules said, “and the medics think that might have

been a heart attack.”

Eileen brought a second carafe of coffee into the living room and set it down on

the low table in front of the sofa and chairs where everyone sat. “I should have

food ready in just a few minutes.” She glanced from Natalie to Jules. “You’re

both welcome to stay. Something warm would be good for you right about

now.”

Natalie stood. “I appreciate it, but I need to get back to the ofÞ ce and follow

up with the paramedics and the hospital. Try to get the identiÞ cation started

and…notiÞ cation of families.”

“Mind if I tag along?” Jules Kipling said. “If I give you a hand it will save us from

duplicating efforts.”

“No, that would be great.” Natalie turned to Eileen. “Thanks for the clothes. I’ll

get them back as soon as I can.”

“There’s no rush. And don’t be a stranger here just because the summer’s

over.”

Natalie smiled. “Thanks. I’ll remember.”

As Natalie and Jules left, Leslie curled up next to Dev on the large sofa, pulling a

nearby throw over their legs, even though the room was warm. “I’m still so cold.

How are you?”

“Beat,” Dev admitted. “What I really want is to get in bed and just hold you.”

“Are you hungry?”

Dev shook her head. “We can come back later. Right now, I just need you.”

Leslie pushed the blanket aside and stood, extending her hand to Dev. “Then

that’s what you shall have.”

“Did I fall asleep in the middle of a sentence?” Dev asked when she awoke in

Leslie’s arms a few hours later. The bedroom in her cabin was aglow with

orange shadows cast from the Þ re burning in the Þ replace in the living room.

She remembered reaching the cabin, Leslie starting a Þ re, the two of them

crawling into bed after removing their borrowed clothes. She remembered

Leslie holding her as if she were a precious treasure about to disappear and

stroking Leslie’s cheek in reassurance, telling her that nothing would come

between them again. Or maybe she just thought she’d said that as she’d fallen

into exhausted sleep.

“No, you Þ nished the sentence,” Leslie said, softly caressing Dev’s shoulder.

“You mumbled you loved me.”

Dev smiled. “That would be the truth.” She propped herself up until she could

see Leslie’s face. “And in case I didn’t mention it, that would also be my longterm

plan. I’m going to take the job at the Freshwater Institute.”

“I’ve been thinking about things too,” Leslie said. After Dev had dropped off, as

tired as she was, Leslie hadn’t been able to sleep. Maybe that was because she

hadn’t actually wanted to do anything except hold Dev. To be certain Dev was

safe, and hers. “I want to be with you.

Really with you. I could relocate to the ofÞ ce in Albany or just Þ nd another

job up here.”

“I kind of got the feeling that you’re a high-power type of attorney,” Dev said,

her brows drawing together as she studied Leslie intently. “The big-city kind of

attorney. Seems like things would be a little too tame for you up here.”

Leslie laughed softly. “Well, there are people who refer to where I am now as a

jungle, but—”

“I don’t think you should do it.”

“Dev,” Leslie said, sitting up, “I love you, and I want us to be together. That

matters more to me than where I work or what I do.”

“And that’s all I need to know.” Dev took Leslie’s hand in both of hers, running

her thumbs over Leslie’s Þ ngers slowly as she spoke. “I don’t want you to

change your life because you love me.”

“You’re willing to,” Leslie pointed out.

“I’m just changing my base of operations—I’m still doing the same work.”

“You’re splitting hairs.”

Smiling, Dev shook her head. “No, I’m not. I probably won’t be spending quite

as much time in the Þ eld, but I’ll still be away a fair amount. When I’m not, I’ll

be closer to you.”

“We’ve already missed so much. I don’t want to lose any more time with you.”

“I’ll buy a house here on the lake. You can come up when you’re free, or I’ll go

down to Manhattan.” Dev stroked Leslie’s cheek as she frowned. “Lots of

couples have jobs that require them to live separately part of the time. We’ll

manage.”

“Say that’s so. What about what I do, not where I do it?” Leslie leaned close

and kissed the corner of Dev’s mouth. “How are you going to feel about

consorting with the enemy?”

“I’ve decided that you’re a necessary evil. Figuratively speaking, of course.”

Leslie straightened. “I beg your pardon?”

“Big corporations and even the government hire computer crackers to test their

security systems, to look for ß aws so they can build a tighter and more fail-safe

system.”

“And this relates to me how?”

“Well, you’re like a cracker trying to break the system. If the laws are ß awed

or aren’t properly designed to do what we need them to do, you’re going to win

cases. And that just tells us which laws to make better.”

“There is a twisted sort of logic to that argument,” Leslie said, struggling to hide

a smile. “I think I ought to be insulted on some level, but I’m not sure I want to

point out your errors in thinking.” She kissed Dev again. “Not if you can live

with things the way they are.”

“What I can’t live with,” Dev said, framing Leslie’s face, “is being without you.

I’ve tried that for half my life. I don’t want to anymore.”

“It’s a plan, for now. But,” Leslie murmured, nuzzling Dev’s neck as she

caressed her, “if I can’t stand being away from you so much, I reserve the right

to change my mind.”

Dev pulled Leslie down and slid on top of her. “I forgot to mention a few

contingencies.”

“What?” Leslie asked, distracted by the sudden pressure of Dev’s leg between

her thighs.

“You work more reasonable hours and take better care of yourself.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Leslie arched her back and settled more Þ rmly into Dev’s

crotch, smiling when Dev gasped.

“I’m serious,” Dev muttered, skimming her mouth up the column of Leslie’s

neck.

“That’s good, because I am too.” Leslie buried her Þ ngers in Dev’s hair, her

body coming alive beneath Dev’s in the way only Dev could excite her. “You’re

all the reason I need.”

“I’ve dreamed of being with you all my life.” Dev kissed her softly. “Now I want

the real thing.”

“Are you into long engagements?” Leslie whispered against Dev’s ear.

“Isn’t Þ fteen years long enough?”

Leslie laughed. “More than enough.”

“Good thing.”

And then she kissed her.