When I Lie With You

Chapter 26

Ian & Rory

Oh God, I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I looked at Ian’s mom and dad and shook my head.

“He didn’t mean it. He needs time. We all need time to process everything. The two of you better leave now and I’ll go talk to Ian.”

His mother, Veronica, looked at me and smiled. “You two make a beautiful couple,” she said as she put her hand on my face. I couldn’t say anything to her, so all I did was give a small smile back.

“Please, Rory, if anyone can get through to him, it’s you,” Richard said and he took hold of my hand.

“I’ll try. That’s all I can do for now.” I walked them out and then headed upstairs. I put my hand on the doorknob and took in a deep breath. I was nervous because I didn’t know how Ian was going to react. I slowly opened the door and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed with the bottle of bourbon in his hand. He looked up at me with cold, dead eyes. I walked over and knelt down in front of him as I placed my hands on his knees.

“I’m so sorry. I know how you feel, baby. I know every emotion you’re going through.”

“Rory, I love you so much, and I need you to understand that I need to be alone. I don’t want you to talk to me. I don’t want to hear what you have to say. I just want to be left alone.”

His words hurt me. I needed him more than anything when I was going through this. I still needed him. Everybody deals with things in their own way and maybe this was his way, alone. I reached up and kissed his cheek.

“I’ll leave you alone. I’m sorry.” I stood up, walked out, and shut the door behind me. I went down to the kitchen where I left my phone on the counter. I called Adalynn. I didn’t know what else to do.

“Hello, darling,” she answered.

“Hi, Adalynn.”

I told her what had happened and she was astounded. She wanted to come over, but I told her it wasn’t a good idea right now. She told me that Ian had his own way of dealing with things and not to take it personally. It was easier said than done because when you love someone, you want them there to comfort you. I never would have been able to get through these past couple of months without him. After I cleaned everything up from the patio, I laid down on the couch and fell asleep.

Ian

I woke up. I didn’t remember falling asleep. When I looked over at the clock, it read two a.m. and Rory wasn’t in bed. She had never come to bed. Why the fuck did I tell her to leave me alone? Why didn’t I just let her stay? I rubbed my face with my hands before getting out of bed, and I changed into some pajama bottoms before I went looking for her. I opened the door that used to be her room when she first came here, but she wasn’t in there. I walked downstairs and went directly outside and down to the beach. She wasn’t there either. Worry and fear crept inside me that she had left. I walked back inside the house and into the living room, where I saw her curled up, asleep on the couch. I reached down, picked her up, and carried her to our bed. She wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my chest.

“I’m so sorry for shutting you out, sweetheart,” I whispered as I kissed her head.

I laid her on the bed and she took off her shirt, bra, and pants. She climbed under the sheets, and as I climbed in next to her, I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. It was easy falling asleep when I was with Rory, no matter what was going on in my life.

The next morning, Rory and I got up and got ready for our run. If there was ever a day I needed one, today was the day. Rory and I always had good talks when we ran. She didn’t say much when we woke up. I thought she was still a little pissed off about last night. I’d be spending eternity making up for it. As we headed out the door and down to the beach, she finally spoke.

“Talk to me, Ian. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

I silently laughed to myself because she was throwing my words right back at me. We ran along the shoreline.

“I’m feeling really pissed off. I can’t even comprehend what my father did. I’ll never forgive him.”

“Yes, you will.”

“No, Rory. I won’t.”

“You will because life’s too short. I need to forgive my father for what he did and you need to forgive both your parents. If I learned anything from Stephen’s death, it’s that you never know what’s going to happen.”

I looked over at her. “This is different.”

“No, it’s not. Life sucks, baby, and sometimes you have to bite the bullet and go with what it throws at you.”

“My whole life was a lie,” I said.

“My whole life was a lie too. Don’t forget that. You and I are in very similar boats and we’re struggling to paddle to the shore before we tip over and drown. But see, Ian, we don’t have to struggle, and we don’t have to drown. We have each other and we are each other’s life preservers. We keep each other afloat.”

I stopped and she ran a few feet ahead. Where the hell was all of this coming from? I always knew Rory was an intelligent woman, but this...

“Why did you stop?” she asked as she turned around and ran back to me.

“Because of you. The things you’re saying.”

“I’m only speaking the truth.”

“When did you figure all this out?” I asked.

“It took a while, but eventually, I got it. It helps to talk to Stephen when I visit his grave. Every time I step foot in that cemetery, I think to myself that this could be either one of us lying in the ground.”

“Aw, sweetheart, come here,” I said as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into an embrace. “Everything you’re saying is true. Every fucking word of it. But, I don’t know if I can do it,” I said as I kissed her head.

“You can and you will. New beginnings, Ian. It’s all about forgiveness and new beginnings. I’ve decided that I want a relationship with my father. At least you had your mom and knew her for a few years before you never saw her again. I never knew my father at all. Your mom tried to see you. She made attempts and even disguised herself. Don’t just disregard that. And, as for Richard, what he did was pure evil, but he regrets it and he’s dying. You may not have much time left with him, Ian. Don’t let him die and then you never got the chance to tell him you forgave him, because you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting it.”

I put my forehead against hers and cupped her face in my hands. “I love you,” I said as I brushed my lips against hers.

“I love you more.” She smiled.

We continued our run and talked some more. Rory was right about everything and it was going to take time, and once I pushed the anger aside, the healing process would begin.

Rory

We were in the kitchen and I grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. I sat down in the chair because I was feeling light-headed. I laid my head down on the table for a second, waiting for it to pass.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Ian asked.

“I’m just a little dizzy. No big deal.”

“Well, drink your water. You may be a little dehydrated.”

Charles had just taken the blueberry muffins out of the oven and the smell was overwhelming. Overwhelming to the point where I felt like I was going to be sick. Ian took one and started eating it. As I sat there and watched him, the sick feeling became more intense as I covered my mouth with my hand and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t even have time to shut the door. Ian came in and looked at me.

“Rory, are you sick?” He asked as he rubbed my back.

“I guess so,” I said as I continued to vomit in the toilet.

Ian stood there and waited for me to finish. He handed me a tissue and then kissed my forehead. “Why don’t you go upstairs and lie down?”

“I feel better now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m just going to finish my water.”

Ian went to his study to do some work and I sat down at the piano. I thought a lot about our talk and I was hoping that I was able to get through to him. I stretched my fingers and began to play. As I stroked the keys and played Chopin’s “Grande Valse Brillante in E-flat Major,” I became lost in the music. This had always been Stephen’s favorite. Ian emerged from his study and stood next to the piano and smiled at me. He even swayed back and forth and moved his head around. I looked up at him and began to laugh as I continued playing. I played faster and he moved with the beat. When the song was finished, he looked at me and said, “I need to fuck you now. Are you up for it?”

“The question is, are you UP for it?” I smiled.

He gave me that playful look and I knew I was in trouble. I quickly ran up the stairs and into the bedroom, where he tackled me on the bed and he showed me how up for it he was.