When I Lie With You

Chapter 4

Rory

I kissed Ian goodbye as he walked out the door and headed to the office. Since he came to Paris, we spent every waking moment together, and it felt strange that he left, even if it was only for a while. Tomorrow was visiting day over at Hudson Rock and I couldn’t wait to see Stephen. We Skyped every Thursday when I was in Paris, but I still missed him and I couldn’t wait to hug him.

I walked over to the piano and ran my finger along the top. I sat down, positioned my fingers on the keys, and played some Chopin. I lost myself in the melody, but this time, I didn’t need to be transported to another reality. The reality I was in was perfect, and I was happy. As Mandy walked into the room with a smile on her face, I stopped playing and gave her a hug.

“Rory, I’m so happy you’re back. It was awful while you were gone. Mr. Braxton was miserable and I was so afraid I wouldn’t ever see you again,” she said as she hugged me tightly.

“I missed you, Mandy, and I’m here to stay.” I smiled.

“I was so worried that you weren’t going to take Mr. Braxton back. He knew I missed you because he came up to me the day he left for Paris and he told me not to worry because he was going to bring you home.”

“And he did. How were your holidays?” I asked.

“They were good, thank you.”

“How’s your daughter?”

“She’s really good. Just between us, Mr. Braxton gave me a raise as a Christmas gift. He said that I do a really good job and I deserved it.”

My heart melted at the thought of Ian doing that for Mandy. He was finally opening up and becoming the person he was meant to be before his mom left him.

“That’s wonderful, Mandy. I’m so happy for you. Now, when am I going to get to meet that daughter of yours?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think Mr. Braxton would want me to bring her here. He’s not fond of children.”

I was stunned to hear Mandy say that. Ian and I had never talked about kids in general, so I guess I wasn’t aware of his feelings. My mind went back to that day when Connor and Ellery were here and he was holding Julia. He looked very uncomfortable and, when he saw me, he handed her to me right away.

“Don’t worry about Ian. I can handle him. I really would love to meet your daughter. What’s her name?”

Mandy looked at me and smiled. “Her name is Molly.”

“Molly is a pretty name.”

“Thank you, Rory. I better get back to work,” she said as she turned and walked away.

I headed upstairs to move some of my things from my room to Ian’s. As I reached the top of the stairs, I started down the hall and stopped and stared at the door to “the room.” I put my hand on the doorknob and, surprisingly, it turned. I slowly pushed the door open and gasped when I saw the inside. The walls were no longer gray. They were a light yellow with white crown molding. There was a queen-sized bed with a beautiful duvet cover across it. A white-washed dresser sat on the wall where the hooks used to be and a beautiful matching armoire sat quaintly in the corner. I was in shock and had to look around and be sure this was the same room I had seen not too long ago.

“Do you like it?” Ian’s voice said from behind.

I jumped and placed my hand over my heart. “Ian, you scared me.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said as he clasped my shoulders.

“Why are you home already?” I asked.

“Don’t you want me here?”

“Of course I do. I just thought you’d be gone longer.”

“I grabbed what I needed to and I left. Truth be told, I missed you, and I can do some work from home.”

“Aw, baby,” I said as I turned around and hugged him. “I missed you too.”

“Answer my question. Do you like it?”

“Yes. The room looks great. But why?” I asked as I looked up at him and placed my hand on his cheek.

“I wanted it gone. The memories, what it represented; everything. The room was an outlet for me; a way to release the pain I felt inside. The women I brought here were used to this kind of sex. But, you.” He smiled softly. “You were different. I had no desire to do any of those things to you or with you. You were so innocent, and all I could imagine whenever I looked at you was making love to you as passionately as I could.”

“Oh, Ian,” I whispered as I softly stroked his cheek.

He leaned in and kissed my lips and then turned around and shut the door.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

He didn’t have to say anything; his smile said it all. “I want to make love to you in this room right now. I want to create a new memory in here and I want to do it with you.”

“I would love that.” I smiled as my fingers deftly lifted his shirt over his head.

After we made love, Ian had to do some work in his study, so I put on my workout clothes and headed downstairs to the gym. The first thing I did was run on the treadmill for a while before switching over to the punching bag. Now that everything was settled and perfect with Ian, my mind wouldn’t stop wondering about what my Aunt Nancy said about my dad. He left my mom when he found out she was pregnant and abandoned his children. Desperation was settling in, and I wondered if my life would’ve been different if he’d stuck around. I felt an overwhelming need to confront him because I was pissed and hurt by a man I’d never even met. I stepped off the treadmill, wrapped my hands, put on the gloves, and started jabbing at the bag. Jab. Jab. Punch. Punch. The more I thought about him, the harder I punched. I bet he didn’t even know he had twin children. The thought consumed me as I continued to punch. The sweat was dripping from my forehead with each punch and kick I made.

“Remind me never to piss you off.”

I gave the bag a few more punches and then stopped and stood there, trying to catch my breath. Ian walked over to me and handed me a towel.

“What was that all about? Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart; watching you do that was fucking hot, but seriously, it looked like you were about to rip the bag from the ceiling.”

“I was just thinking about my dad,” I said as I wiped my face with the towel.

“I wondered how long it would take for what Nancy said to sink in.”

“It’s been there since she told me, but I had someone else on my mind and there wasn’t any room for any other thoughts,” I said as I kissed him on the lips.

“You’re getting me hard, Rory. I’m standing here staring at you and wishing that I was the reason for you sweating.” He winked.

“You’re sexy, Mr. Braxton, but I do have to take a shower. I’m starting to stink.”

“Yeah, I know.”

I playfully punched him in the arm. “You ass.”

Ian picked me up and put me over his shoulder as he slapped my ass and carried me up the stairs. “Now I’m going to punish you, Miss Sinclair, and you’re not going to like it.”

I couldn’t stop laughing each time he slapped me. “Somehow, I think I’m going to fully enjoy your punishment.”

“It’s good to see you, Rory. I was a bit worried that you stopped coming to our sessions,” Dr. Neil said.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Neil. I should’ve called you, but things happened so fast.”

“So, tell me how you and Ian are doing?”

Dr. Neil and I talked about my relationship with Ian instead of my past. I thought that I had put closure on it after I went back to Indiana, but the thoughts of my father consumed me. After we finished talking about Ian, I told her about what Nancy had said about my father.

“What are your feelings towards your father right now?” she asked.

I looked down at my hands and began playing with my nails. “I’m angry at him.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because he abandoned not only my mother, but his kids. I don’t think he knows that there are two of us.”

“You mean twins?”

“Yes.”

“If you were to see him, what would you say to him?”

I looked up at her and didn’t say anything. I knew what I wanted to say, but I was too afraid, because if I did say something, the hurt and abandonment would become too real.

“Rory, what would you say to him if he was standing in this room?” she asked again. “It’s all right.”

I got up from the couch and walked over to where a picture hung over the fireplace. It was a painting of two women looking at each other through the glass. One was dressed in black and the other was dressed in white, but it was the same person.

“I would tell him that I hate him. I would tell him what a horrible person he was to leave like he did and abandon his own flesh and blood.”

“Okay, that’s a start,” Dr. Neil said. “Do you think that you would want to find him and tell him how you feel? Maybe find out his reason for leaving.”

“I’ve thought about it. I want him to know what he’s done and how his children grew up,” I said as tears started to fall. “I just want to know if he has any regrets. I need to know the truth.”

I turned around as the clock chimed, alerting us that my session was over. Dr. Neil got up from her seat and handed me a tissue.

“It’s okay, Rory. We’ll talk more about this at our next session. Perhaps it would be beneficial for you to talk to Ian about it. Considering his mother left him when he was a child, it seems like this is something the two of you could really help each other with.”

I grabbed my purse from the couch and gave Dr. Neil a light hug. “Thank you, Dr. Neil. I just might do that.”

As I was walking out of the office, my phone rang. I pulled it from my pocket and saw that Ian was calling.

“Hi, honey.”

“Hello, sweetheart. Are you on your way home?”

“Yeah. I just left Dr. Neil’s office and I’m getting in the car as we speak.”

“Good. We’re going to go out to dinner with Adalynn and Daniel tonight. She wants to discuss the wedding.”

“Sounds like fun. I’ll be home soon. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. Hurry home. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” I said as I hit the end button.

All the way home, my mind kept going back and forth about my father and what Dr. Neil said about finding him. Things with Ian were so good right now and I was settling into my new life. Did I really want to fuck it up by bringing my father into it?

After I pulled into the driveway, I walked through the door and headed straight to the kitchen. Ian was standing at the counter, eating a blueberry muffin, and Mandy was at the sink, washing some dishes.

“Welcome home, sweetheart.” He smiled.

I walked over to him and kissed his lips, tasting nothing but blueberries. “Thank you, my love. You look like you’re enjoying that muffin.”

“Always do.”

I gave him a smirk as I said hi to Mandy.

“How did your appointment go?” Ian asked.

“It was okay. If you don’t mind, I really don’t want to talk about that right now.”

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Ian asked as he took my hand.

“Nothing. We just talked about my father. I don’t want to think or talk about it right now.”

“Okay. We can talk about it when you’re ready.”

Ian tore off a piece of his blueberry muffin and handed it to me. “Here, blueberry muffins always make things better.” He smiled.

“Your obsession with blueberry muffins is starting to worry me.”

“Is that so? Well, I have another obsession,” he said as he picked me up and carried me through the kitchen and up the stairs to our bedroom.