CAITLIN DIDN’T KNOW if she could handle the humiliation, but at this point, she was almost beyond caring.
“Nice,” Chastity murmured, sugar dripping from her voice. She held her wrist up to the light, where the tennis bracelet glittered with three carats of white diamonds. “How much did you say, darling?”
Caitlin glanced at the bracelet and tried to harden her heart at selling off the only piece of jewelry she’d ever gotten from her father. “It’s part of the set,” she managed to say. “You have the list.”
“Yes.” Chastity gave her a cool glance, then reappraised the other items spread out over Caitlin’s dining-room table. “You’re still giving me all the furniture at the price we agreed on?”
It was far, far, less than what everything was worth, Caitlin knew. But despite the fact she’d just gotten a call from the mortgage company, and now knew Joe had bought her some time, she still couldn’t afford the place, which only made her all the more desperate. Chastity, snob that she was, was prepared to give her a check today because she ran the private charity auction house that would come to cart Caitlin’s stuff away. That the two women used to run in the same circle only added to Caitlin’s humiliation.
But what could she do? She needed fifteen hundred to cover the check she’d just written for first, last and security deposit on her new apartment. Shack would have been a more accurate term, but it would put a roof over her head, and at the low monthly rent, she could just afford it. The proceeds from the sale of the jewelry would help cover the cost of a new-and very used-car.
She’d also finally figured out that she wanted to go back to college and get a degree, in something involving numbers. She could do it at night, work for Darla during the day-soon as she quit working for Joe-and she’d be fine. Just fine.
Right. And pigs could fly.
In spite of everything, though, a little burst of pride zipped through her. She’d be supporting herself, and it felt so good she almost could have hugged Chastity. Almost.
The knock at the door took her by surprise. So did the sight of Vince standing there.
“Hi,” she said, panic welling. Not this. She could handle having to sell everything. Having to move. But she couldn’t take having a friend watch. “Why aren’t you at work?”
“I wanted to help pack.”
“No! I mean…I’m fine. I told you on the phone. I’m just fine.”
Chastity came up behind Caitlin, and eyed Vince with open curiosity. Caitlin moved to try to cover Chastity’s view and prayed the woman would keep her mouth shut.
“You sounded…funny at work,” he said in a low voice, keeping his eyes on Caitlin’s instead of on the tall, model-beautiful woman behind her. She could have kissed him for that alone, but desperation moved in.
“As you can see, I’m really doing okay.” She managed a smile that only made him frown harder.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m really busy. I’ll see you-” She started to close the door, but he blocked her.
“I want to come help you move tomorrow,” he said firmly, lifting his gaze for the first time and eyeing Chastity with mistrust.
“Hello, there,” Chastity purred, and Vince nodded before looking at Caitlin again.
“I’ll come early, okay?”
“Fine.” She pressed on the door, knowing it would be faster to agree than argue. His help would be welcome, and so would his support
“Wait.” Vince pulled an envelope from his back pocket. “I brought your paycheck. I thought you could use it.”
She took it without much enthusiasm, knowing it wouldn’t make a dent. “Thank you. See you tomorrow, Vince.” Before he could protest, she shut the door on his tense, worried face.
And felt like a jerk.
“Was that your boyfriend?” Chastity asked slyly. “He’s awfully cute for a redhead. All that warm concern and those burning green eyes.”
“He’s not in your tax bracket,” Caitlin said dully, and Chastity laughed.
Caitlin opened her check and did a double take. Joe had given her a raise. A big one. Her heart squeezed painfully. More pity? she wondered. Or something deeper?
“Is Vince part of CompuSoft?”
Lifting her gaze from the surprising amount of money in her hand, she asked, “What do you know about CompuSoft?”
“There’s lots of buzz about the company’s future.” Chastity’s eyebrows rose. “And of course, its owner, Joe Brownley.”
Caitlin went still, her raise momentarily forgotten. “You know him?”
“I met him once. At one of your father’s fantastic parties. I think you were in Paris at the time. Or maybe it was Milan. I can’t remember. He’s really something.”
“My father?”
“Keep up, darling.” Chastity again admired the bracelet on her sleek, tanned wrist. “Joe Brownley. He had every woman at that party drooling. And to think, now you work for him.”
“Drooling?”
Chastity shook her head. “You sound like a parrot.” She sank to the leather couch and ran her fingers lovingly along the back. “I just might keep this one for myself-you have such good taste.” She sighed in pleasure and leaned back. “What was I saying? Ah, yes. Joe. A tough-talking, amazing-looking bad boy if I ever saw one. I love them like that, all nasty attitude and an insatiable sexual appetite.”
Joe and Chastity. Weak, Caitlin made herself ask, “Did you two…”
“No, I’m sorry to say. But it wasn’t for lack of trying on my part, let me tell you. The way that man fills out a pair of jeans could make a grown woman beg for mercy.”
“Could we just get on with this?” It hurt. Not losing her things-they’d never really been hers to begin with. Not having to move; since she’d truly begun to crave her own place filled with her own stuff, purchased with her own money.
What hurt was something else entirely, something horrifying.
She missed Joe. Missed his smart-ass comments, his from-the-gut laugh that always jump-started her own. Missed his sardonic grin and his piercing light blue eyes. His deep understanding of life and its intricacies. One day without him, and she ached.
She was in trouble.
“I’ll take everything,” Chastity said, brandishing her checkbook. “All of it.”
The doorbell spoiled the relief. “Who now?” Caitlin muttered as Chastity excused herself for a minute, needing to use the telephone.
Caitlin made her way past the open boxes she’d already started to pack. At the front door, she hesitated, putting a hand on her inexplicably rapidly beating heart. Then she pulled on the knob, only to have her heart stop completely.
Joe had his arms braced against opposite sides of the jamb. His head had dropped between his shoulders, so that when she opened the door, she could have leaned forward an inch and kissed him.
He lifted his face and pierced her heart with his gaze. He didn’t move, didn’t smile, just looked at her.
Her entire body responded, going weak and strong at the same time. Every sense became heightened so that she felt his look as she would a touch. When she spoke, her voice wavered. “You paid the mortgage on this place until the end of the month. Then you gave me a raise.”
“Ask me in, Caitlin.”
That would be a disaster. She lifted her paycheck and waved it under his nose. “Why, Joe?”
“Ask me in and I’ll tell you.”
“Was it guilt? Or pity?”
“All right,” he said evenly, pushing past her to step into the foyer. “I won’t wait to be asked.”
“Joe-”
“Where’s Vince?”
She narrowed her eyes at his low, deceptively soft voice. “How did you know he was here?”
“Where is he?” His jaw tightened as he tried to peer around her. “Upstairs?”
“Up- Of course not!” She put her hands on her hips. “I don’t want you here. I-”
He gripped her waist and hauled her to him. She felt as though she’d stepped off a cliff into thin air, as if she were falling in slow motion, slipping, gliding in weightlessness. Her heart beat hard and high in her chest “Back off.” She grabbed handfuls of his hair, meaning to push him away, but somehow ending up pulling him closer instead.
She shook. So did he, she could feel his muscles ripple against her. Their eyes locked, her breath came even quicker. “Joe-”
He claimed her mouth with his. She opened to him, hot and hungry. Hands still clasped in his hair, she changed the angle of the kiss and dived deeper, swallowing his incoherent masculine murmur of pleasure.
She wanted him, not just to hold, not just for a few stolen kisses and not just for comfort, though she wanted that, as well. She wanted him in a way that she’d never wanted anyone before. Crazy, she told herself. Insane. She couldn’t afford to be thinking about this, about him. Not with her world falling apart. But she kept kissing him. Kept holding him.
He lifted his mouth from hers, but kept her close. “If you let Vince do that…”
Slowly, the words computed past her own dazed brain. “You came here because you thought I could…with Vince…that we…” With a sound of pure frustration. she pushed him away. “How could you even think it?”
Bitterly disappointed, she tried to move past him.
Joe caught her around the waist and placed her between the wall and his muscled body. There was no doubt that he was angry when he kissed her this time, but he kept at it, nibbling and possessing until the temper evaporated into hot, delicious passion and she was kissing him back with everything she had.
When he finally released her, her body throbbed and tingled. It only marginally satisfied her to see his chest heave with his own unsteady breathing.
With a surprisingly gentle touch, he tucked her wayward hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry. You confuse me.”
“It makes two of us,” she assured him. “I didn’t even let Vince in, Joe. And he didn’t force his way in, either.”
“I never claimed to be a gentleman, princess.”
She stared at him, painfully aware of her body’s response to his presence. She vibrated with it. “I still can’t believe what you thought, or how much I care what you thought.” She slapped her paycheck to his chest. “Keep your pity.”
“Pity had nothing to do with it. You earned it. Why didn’t you tell me you could do more than answer phones?”
“I did tell you!”
Chastity came into the room, and oblivious to the thick tension, she announced, “Here’s a check, darling. I’m paying for everything. Everything. So don’t even think about cheating me when the men come tomorrow with the truck- Oh.” At the sight of Joe, she dropped her businesslike tone and switched to sex kitten in the blink of an eye. “Isn’t this interesting?”
Caitlin dropped her head back on her shoulders and stared heavenward. Haven’t I learned enough humility?
“So nice to meet you again,” Chastity said sweetly, holding out her hand to Joe. “I hear so much about you these days.”
“You can’t believe any of it,” Joe assured her. “Unless it’s all good.”
Caitlin rolled her eyes. Chastity practically preened. “Very little of what’s said about you is good, Joe. Mostly…outrageous.”
“Outrageous, huh? Haven’t lost my touch, then.” His eyes sharpened slightly. “What brings you here, Chastity?”
“Oh, we go way back,” Caitlin said quickly. “Don’t we, Chastity?”
“Old friends?” Joe smiled and nodded, as though he understood perfectly. What he really understood was that Caitlin seemed desperate to break up this conversation “That’s nice. Funny how Caitlin would pick today to socialize, seeing how she’s moving tomorrow.”
“And since I’m so busy,” Caitlin interrupted, trying to pull him to the door, “you’d better get back to work and let me get to it. Thanks for coming-”
“Looks like you have a lot left to do,” he said smoothly, evading her hands. “Maybe I should help you pack.”
“Didn’t Caitlin tell you?” Chastity laughed, managing to make the sound bubbly and full of pity at the same time. “I’m saving her pretty little hide, so to speak. I’m taking most of her things-on generous donation, of course-and using them for a charity auction next week.”
Joe looked at Caitlin. She stared at something, fascinating on the floor. She seemed pale, dispirited, and Joe felt sick.
Chastity glanced at her narrow gold Rolex. “Oops, gotta run! I’ll be back in the morning with a truck and a couple of hunks to load everything.” She scribbled something down on a scrap piece of paper, and as she walked past Joe, she stuffed it into the front pocket of his jeans, damn near fondling him in the process. He took it out and wasn’t surprised to see her phone number and address. “Wait a minute.”
“No,” Caitlin leaped to action and rushed up behind Chastity to open the door for her. “She can’t wait-she’s in a hurry. So are you. Scoot now, Chastity, I’ll see you.”
He could fix this, Joe thought with a surge of unfamiliar panic. Otherwise, she’d lose everything, and he knew how it felt to own nothing. “Caitlin-”
“Leave it alone,” she whispered frantically behind Chastity’s back. “Please,” she added so bleakly, he swallowed his protests and let her show Chastity out.
When the woman was gone, Caitlin turned to him, her face tight and drawn. “I want you to go now.”
How long had it been since he’d felt so helpless? It had been a mistake to kiss her, to touch her again. She made him feel things he shouldn’t. Made him want things he didn’t want to want. There’d been plenty of times in his life he could have had a shot at a future with someone and he’d chosen not to. It was too late for him now, far too late. He wanted to be alone.
And maybe if he kept repeating it to himself, he’d believe it. He’d believe he didn’t want this woman in his life, really in his life. “Caitlin.”
She held up a hand. “I need to be alone,” she said quietly, dignity humming. “I want to be alone.”
“I can’t leave you. Not like this.” He moved close, but at the last minute, stopped short. What right did he have to hold her? To offer comfort? He wasn’t a long-term bet, and she deserved no less. Clasping his hands behind his back to keep them off her, he drew a deep breath. “Have you eaten?”
She gaped at him. Then laughed. “That sounded suspiciously like a question from a man who cared. But that couldn’t be, because you would never let yourself do something as foolish as that, would you, Joe?”
“I’m trying to help you.” He refused to rise to the bait, though his temper stirred. “I’m trying to offer support”
“Why?”
“Because we’re friends.”
“No.” Sadly, she shook her head. “Friends trust one another, Joe. And you have a real problem with that. You can’t let go enough to trust me.”
“I care about you,” he stated gruffly. “And I’m tired of you throwing it back in my face.”
She looked at him, startled. “I’m sorry for that,” she said softly. “I know it’s not easy for you to care, and I have no right to make you feel as if it’s not welcome. It is.” She took the few remaining steps between them. Gently, she touched his chest, resting one hand lightly over his steadily beating heart. Watching her fingers, she whispered, “I care about you also, Joe. Far too much.”
Beneath her hand, his heart beat faster. “I don’t want you to,” he said so low she nearly missed it.
For a moment, she stood there, head bowed. Then she raised a wet gaze to his. “I know. But that’s just the way it is.” Reaching behind him, she opened the front door, inviting him to leave her alone.