Who’s the Boss?

12

“SORT OF?” Joe let out a choked laugh. “You’re sort of a virgin? How is that?”

“Because I haven’t done it before.”

“Caitlin.” His rough voice held a hint of a smile. “How is it you’ve never done this before?”

Self-conscious now, she turned from him and once again crossed her arms over herself. “I know you probably thought I had lots of experience. I let people think that because…”

“Because?”

This wasn’t the time to shrink back and try to save her feelings, or her pride. “Because then they know I mean it when I say back off.”

“Ah…the curse of being desirable.”

“I don’t understand it.” She wished she had her shirt back, but in her haste to jump him, she’d tossed it dramatically across the room. “But nobody looks beneath the surface.”

“Or past the checkbook,” he said in her ear, making her jump.

“I guess you do understand.”

“What I don’t understand is why you were going to let me have you.” With terrifying tenderness, he pulled her back against his chest, crossing his arms over hers to hold her close.

It took every ounce of courage she had, but at this point, there was nothing to lose. Turning in those warm, capable arms, she met his questioning, and yes, still passionate, gaze. “Because I love you, Joe. I wanted you to be my first.”

His eyes were bright, eloquent. “I thought we weren’t going to make promises.”

“I don’t expect one back,” she assured him, pulling his head down to hers. “Please, Joe. Love me. Just for now.”

Her lips clung to his, warm and wet. Sensuous and innocent. Just for now, Joe promised himself. His eyes never left hers as he stepped out of the rest of his clothes. “Don’t regret this. I won’t be able to stand it if you do.”

“I won’t.” Her gaze was glued on him, her eyes wide and huge as she unabashedly stared at his proud, heavy sex. “You’re so beautiful, Joe. All virile and…hard.”

On a laughing moan, he lay down, wrapped her in his arms and held her to him while his mouth ravaged hers again. “Hard being the key word here.” He slipped his hands beneath her skirt, caressing her thighs, playing with the tiny panties he knew were covered with happy faces. “I’ve wanted to take these off since the moment I got a front-row view of them on the landing.”

She closed her eyes, her face flushing. Laughing, Joe kissed her until she was flushed with passion, not embarrassment. He loved the texture of her-all soft and dewy, he discovered as he removed the last of her clothing. Loved, too, the way her body quivered at his every touch. Lowering his head, he nuzzled at her, kissing and nipping until she was squirming and burning and restless beneath him.

Lifting his head, he whispered, “Every time I was a jerk at work, it’s because I wanted to do this.” His thumbs made passing caresses over the tips of her tight, aching breasts, and he watched her body’s response, the way she panted for air, how her nipples puckered and beaded. When he drew her into his mouth again, she arched off the bed and into his arms.

His hands ran down over her stomach, her thighs and back up between her legs. She caught her breath when he touched her there, then again when his touch deepened. Tossing her head back, she fisted her hands in the sheets and pushed up against his fingers, whimpering shamelessly.

“Good?” he asked.

“More.”

She was the sweetest, most desirable woman he’d ever seen, and for the moment, she was his. “Yes,” he promised. Her slippery heat coated his fingers and he moaned. “Yes, more.”

Her body tightened as he stroked her slowly, every muscle clenched. His fingers continued their sensuous play, giving her what she’d wanted, and she whispered his name, her voice torn between need and panic.

“It’s all right.” He drowned in the pleasure of watching her discover desire. “I’m right here to catch you.”

She was on a tightwire, grappling and struggling for balance. She hadn’t expected this. Had thought it would be fast. Reckless. Even painful. What she got was hot, delicious sensation. “Joe!” She wriggled, but the heat just consumed her all the more. “Where’s my more?”

“For someone new at this, you’re awfully bossy.” He kneeled between her legs. “I like that in a woman.” He put on a condom before she could stop him. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to be protected, but she wanted to participate in everything. Before she could complain, he was kissing her again and she could participate in that, oh yes, she could.

Joe tasted her lips, her jaw, the precise spot on her throat where the pulse frantically leaped, then took her mouth again, shaken with the force of his own need. And those fierce little sounds that escaped the back of her throat were the most arousing he’d ever heard. He heard her sigh, then when he nudged at her hot, wet center, she gasped.

“Okay?”

“Yes,” she murmured, opening for him. “More. You promised.”

“Hold on to me, Caitlin. Hold on tight.”

Her arms slipped around him. His mouth closed over hers as he slid into her inch by inch. When she cried out, he froze in terror that he’d hurt her, but she shifted her hips, lifting experimentally. “Oh,” she breathed, drawing him in deeper, snugger, tighter. “Oh, I like it.”

His hands shifted from her hips to brace on either side of her face where, from behind a haze of deep hunger, he watched her for any signs of pain or discomfort. She shot him a dazzling smile, and he saw only pleasure-dazed, dark pleasure.

“There’s even more, isn’t there?” she asked hopefully, making him both groan and laugh at the same time.

She met him stroke for mind-blowing stroke. And in her eyes, he saw everything he’d feared. Warmth, affection, acceptance, heat, need. Love. He saw her soul, and his mirrored back. He knew that alone should have brought the most fear of all, but miraculously, it didn’t.

Beneath him, her eyes went wide, her mouth opened in a surprised O as she began to tremble and quiver. He tried to hold back, to prolong it for her, but his body finally betrayed him as she convulsed. Her shudder worked through him and became his, swirling and demanding, and he buried his face in her neck. She sobbed out his name as she climaxed, and clenching her fisted hands in his, he let himself go with her.

CAITLIN WOKE FIRST, to the sound of a light spring rain. Joe held her as he slept, her back to his front, his arms possessively tight. One of his large hands, fingers spread wide, was low on her belly. The other had tangled itself in her hair. One of his thighs was pressed between hers, and for a minute, she allowed herself to snuggle in deeper, surrounded by his warmth.

She’d made love, for the first time in her life. Giddiness welled, as did a blissful wonder. She’d never known…never expected it to be so spectacular.

He had made it that way, she thought, joy flooding her. He’d been fierce and wild, and gentle and tender. And afterward, he’d carefully cleaned her with a warm washcloth, expressing concern, but it hadn’t been necessary.

She felt fantastic.

And ready for more.

His breathing was deep and even, and she decided to show mercy as she’d obviously exhausted him.

The scent of the rain on the air drew her, as did her curiosity about the house. She’d only caught a short glimpse of it. She slipped out of his arms, then stopped to admire his tough, rangy body, only half-covered by the sheet.

He was…heart stopping. And, for now, hers.

The air was hot, muggy, so she walked nude to his dresser and stopped short, baffled at the reflection. Her hair exploded around her face in loose curls. Her lips were red and swollen, her eyes bright with light

She looked…like a wild woman in love, one who’d just been shown how much she was loved back.

Did Joseph love her?

She twisted to see the still sleeping form on the bed. He was magnificent, sprawled in all his glory. He certainly lusted after her, and she blushed remembering exactly how much.

But did he love her?

She sighed, suddenly discontent. She stepped out onto the dark patio. His house faced the ocean, giving her an incredible view of heavy waves lit only by whatever weak moonbeams managed to evade the clouds.

A jag of lightning flashed across the sky, and a second later thunder rolled. The roof of the deck was slatted and the cool rain fell through, wetting her. Shivering a little in spite of the hot air, she stood there, face upturned to the mist, loving the erotic feel of the cool drops landing on her hot body.

MY GOD, JOE THOUGHT as he stepped onto the deck. That’s a sight. Caitlin stood there with her head tipped back, the slim column of her neck exposed, her full breasts thrust out, her legs taut as she rose up on tiptoe, stretching. Her white skin glimmered and shone as the rain ran in small rivulets down her body.

Just standing there watching her take her own pleasure from the rain had him rock hard. He walked up behind her, slid his arms around her slick body. “I thought it was all a dream,” he whispered in her ear, taking the soft flesh there between his teeth, drawing goose bumps to her skin.

Arching back, pressing her spine to his chest, she sucked in her breath when his hands spread on her thighs, streaked up her hips, over her belly and captured her wet breasts. “If it was,” she moaned, “it’s the best dream I ever had.” His thumbs flicked over her rigid nipples, making her writhe, her hips rubbing urgently back against his.

“Caitlin.” He slid his hand down, down past damp curls and into hot, creamy heaven, thrilling to the soft, dark sounds she made. “Are you sore?”

“No, not yet,” she murmured, gripping the railing in front of her for balance and grinding her hips in tune with his hand. “I had no idea…how it would be. I want more, Joe…more.”

Whatever she wanted tonight would be hers. Whatever she needed, he’d find a way to give it. The rain fell unnoticed, and the night sang with the sounds of the ocean waves hitting the shore below them.

He kept her from falling as she came, quivering in the pale light, her skin aglow. He held her like that, just held her, with her bottom snugged up to his thighs, with their hearts racing together, and he had to fight against swiftly and greedily taking all that she offered. It wasn’t easy, not with her hands urging him as she reached back and gripped his hips, and her body poised and waiting, silently confirming she yearned as much as he. The ache within him became primal and blinding as he absorbed the exquisite feel of her against him.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

Suddenly, there was no reason to rush; there was time. Time for everything. And oh, how he wanted everything, every whisper, every promise, every touch, every single second of this time with her.

Everywhere he touched, she turned something inside him to gold. Despite the misery of his past, she made him feel good, wanted, needed…loved. “You make me feel so alive,” he said huskily, kissing his way along her jaw. “So alive.”

She twisted her head, and her lips parted for his kiss. The urgency returned tenfold. She pressed back against him, restlessly running her hands up and down his thighs, trying to draw him inside her.

Too fast, he wanted to tell her. He wanted to savor, explore, but he couldn’t be gentle or tender now. Nor patient, either, with her fingers digging into him, urging, demanding.

The darkness cocooned them; the rumbling thunder and flash of lightning provided their music. There was no other sound except the frantic roar of their own hearts and harsh, needy breathing. One last time, Joe brought his mouth down to hers, taking her stunned cry into his throat as he gripped her hips and sheathed himself into her from behind, filling her. Not just with his body; even in his confusion, he understood that.

Caitlin threw her head back against his shoulder, her body bowing in slim arch with strain and wonder and abandon. Even as part of his brain struggled to register that he didn’t want to love her, didn’t want to need her, she was taking him away to a place where there was no reality. Where love didn’t hurt. Where he could let himself go.

He closed his eyes and did just that. He’d known, hadn’t he, that it would be like this with her. No restraints, no boundaries. No hurt. Nothing and no one but the two of them, soaring as high as the clouds.

“I HAVE NO IDEA why I waited so long to do that,” Caitlin said conversationally a short time later. “It was the most fun I’ve ever had.”

“Fun?” He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and laughed shortly. “You nearly sent me to another world, and you thought it was fun?”

He watched her blond head poke out the neck of his shirt as she put it on, and his blood surged again at the way she looked wearing his clothes. “You know what I mean,” she said, lifting her gaze and smiling at him.

His throat closed. “Yeah.”

“I…uh…you know. Had an orgasm.” She blushed gorgeously and he laughed.

“An orgasm?” He laughed again. “Princess, you most definitely had more than one.”

“Is it always like that?”

His amusement faded. It had never been like that. “No, not always.”

She was looking at him with such emotion, he nearly lost it right there. His lungs seemed to collapse. He needed her, so damn much. Fear welled, but he beat it back. She wouldn’t know, couldn’t know, unless he told her. And if he didn’t tell her, he had nothing to fear. Nothing at all.

But she deserved more than a quick toss in the sheets. She needed a man who would give her a future, a man who could give in to his emotions and love her as she deserved to be loved. She didn’t need him further screwing up her life. Hell, she already thought she was in love with him. Delusions, of course. No one could love him, not really. He was trouble. Had an attitude. A temper. He could be a real selfish bastard. He’d once walked away from his family without looking back. He’d taken everything Edmund had given him without questioning Edmund about Caitlin, and what she might need. Caitlin didn’t know this, didn’t understand, or she could never believe herself in love with him.

He had to walk away now. Had to forget that she could make him laugh, could make life seem more important than work. He had to get over how her chaotic world was as fresh as spring-water when compared to his, which was stagnant, dead. He had to forget that her way of living revived his, gave him back the joy of being. She’d wormed her way into his heart, spreading happiness like wildfire, and he hadn’t even noticed it happening. He had to forget, or the realization of exactly what it would cost him to walk away would kill him.

She took his hand, and that simply loving, trusting gesture had him swallowing hard.

He’d betrayed Edmund by failing to protect Caitlin. He’d betrayed Caitlin by taking her love and innocence without means to repay it. Any minute, fate was going to come knocking and swipe away any semblance of happiness.

She led him down the stairs. “I’m starving,” she said. “I hope you have more food in your house than I do in mine.” In the entryway, halfway between his kitchen and the living room, she came to a grinding halt. “I’ve never seen your place.”

He let out a laugh. “Should’ve opened your eyes when I was playing pirate and hauling you upstairs.”

But Caitlin didn’t crack a smile. She stared at the beautiful glass-and-stone foyer, looked through the kitchen and then sank to a large window seat in the front room, which overlooked the sea. “You never told me you lived at the beach, too,” she said with mock calm while her heart drummed painfully.

“I didn’t know where you lived until yesterday.”

It was a day for truths, and she had to have this one. “My father loved the beach. He gave this place to you, didn’t he?”

A shadow crossed Joseph’s expressive, rugged face. “Yes. Years ago. When I graduated from the college he bullied me into attending.”

“I see.” Pain slashed through her, and she didn’t quite manage to keep it out of her voice. “I’m sorry. I…have to go.”

In three strides, he caught up with her at the door. Gently, his heart already dying, he turned her to face him. “I didn’t know he didn’t pay yours off, Caitlin. I swear to you, until that day we had lunch, I didn’t know. Come here. You’ll see.” He dragged her back through the living room into the kitchen. On the table was a file, which he opened. “The deed for this place,” he told her, lifting it up for her inspection.

Attached to it was a quit-claim notice, which even she knew meant Joseph was signing this house over, and out of his name. To her.

“I don’t understand why Edmund had paid mine off all those years ago, and hadn’t done the same for you.”

“I do,” she said sadly. “It was my own fault. I moved around a lot, was a fickle little thing. He never believed I’d stay in one place for long.”

He tossed the document to the table and took her shoulders so he could see into her face. “Whatever his reasons, I can’t keep this place while you lose yours. It’s wrong, and so was I.”

“Wrong? How were you wrong?”

He’d gone a little pale. “I should have done this a long time ago. I’m ashamed of myself that I didn’t. I’m giving you this place.”

“No.” She backed away from him, holding her hands out to ward him off, because one more touch would have her crumpling, and she had to be strong. “You’re not giving it up for me.” She walked out of the foyer, and he followed her into the living room. “My father gave it to you,” she said, turning around in the large room. “He wanted you to have it.”

“I can’t keep it.” He watched her pace. “You’re hurting and I want to make it better.”

Caitlin knew there was only one way for Joe to make it better, and that was for him to love her back as hopelessly as she loved him. While she suspected he might feel that way, she was afraid that he was so used to being able to rely on only himself, he’d never be able to tell her. “You can’t do this. He loved you, Joe.”

“Yes. And I…loved him,” he said softly, the words grainy and rusty, as if he’d never said them out loud before. He looked open, and more vulnerable than she thought possible.

He could love, she thought with a rush of joy and hope. And knowing that, she knew anything, anything at all, was possible.

“I loved him,” he repeated. “God, I did.”

Through a haze of tears, Caitlin reached out and hugged him. “I know you did,” she said brokenly. “I know.”

He clung close and so did she, their bodies warm and snug and comforting. It started out that way at least, but as the seconds ticked on, and as Caitlin thrilled to be needed by him, the embrace turned decidedly sexual. The smooth, sleek skin of his back drew her fingers, and her hips instinctively melded with his.

“Caitlin.”

His low voice turned her on, too. Everything about him turned her on. He was unpolished. Physical. Sharply intelligent. Fascinating.

And fiercely aroused.

He looked at her, and it was far more than the heat and hunger that drew her. Whether he knew it or not, he did need her, needed her strength and affections. Her love.

She wanted to give it.

She slipped her arms around his neck at the same time that he caught her up against him. His body was strong and hard and grieving. The combination was irresistible.

“Again,” she whispered, kissing his jaw, his ear, whatever she could reach. “I want you again.”

“No, it’ll hurt you,” he protested softly. “You’ll get sore.”

“Don’t make me seduce you,” she said, and he laughed, turning his face so that their mouths met, only it wasn’t the gentle kiss she’d been expecting. Instead, it was deep and wet and long and had them both straining for more.

“Please, Joe,” she whispered. “You’ll never hurt me.”

He moaned, his forehead against hers. “I can’t resist you, not for anything.” He dragged her down to the thick carpet, then took her face in his hands and kissed her again, a carnal mating of their tongues, a mimic of what he really wanted to do to her. He touched her first with his hot gaze, then opened the shirt covering her, spreading it wide.

Slowly, he lowered his body to hers, grace and power blending into one. He took her to new heights by just touching her with his magic fingers. He tore off his sweats so they were skin to skin. He was sensual and uninhibited, and he encouraged the same from her, caressing and kissing every inch of her until she was panting his name.

When he slid down between her thighs, replacing his fingers with his lips, she arched up and begged. It wasn’t necessary; his open mouth unerringly found her. One stroke from his nimble tongue and she exploded. Instantly. Without control.

Chest heaving, body slick with perspiration, hair sticking to her face, she looked up at the ceiling and blinked in stunned surprise. Her body rippled with aftershocks. “Wow.”

“Again,” he demanded, cupping her, stroking her back into a frenzy, back to the point of no return, until bright lights blinded her, until her body went taut as a bow, then shuddered again and again.

“Wow,” she repeated when she could finally manage as she lay limp and replete on the floor.

Joseph’s skin was also slick when he levered himself above her and bridged her body with his arms. “Such a profound statement.”

She ran her hands through his hair. “Then how about more?”

“Caitlin-”

“Don’t make me beg again.”

He entered her, then, watching her flushed face carefully. She sighed with pleasure. He pushed deeper. Her breath quickened and so did his, and eyes locked with hers, he pushed deeper still. When he was fully seated within her, they both moaned.

He pressed his forehead against hers. “Tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m…so much more than okay.”

He began to move and she raised her hips to meet his hungry thrusts. Though each one threatened to toss him over the edge, he held back, waiting for her.

When she climaxed, she dug her fingers into his skin and cried out his name, shuddering long and hard. It was more than he could take. Burying his face in her neck, he allowed himself to follow her into oblivion.

“OKAY, YOU CAN SEDUCE ME,” he gasped, and she laughed.

They stared at each other, and their smiles faded slowly.

“Please, let me do this for you,” he whispered. They were lying entwined on the soft carpeting, looking at the high ceiling, listening to the rain pound the roof. “Please let me give you this place.”

“You know, I think I’ve figured something out.” She sat up and slipped his shirt back on with a smile. She loved wearing his clothes. “I don’t think my father meant to forget me. He just wanted to show me something.”

Guilt stabbed at him, and he wished with all his might Edmund hadn’t asked for his silence. She looked so beautiful sitting there covered only by his shirt, still flowing from their lovemaking.

Beautiful and brave.

But all he could think about was the secret he was keeping from her. The secret his mentor-her father-had asked him to keep.

She was right. Edmund hadn’t forgotten her; he’d tried to protect her, the only way he knew. Through Joe.

And Joe had let them both down.

His heart hurt just looking at her. That unwanted panic surged again when he realized what was happening to him. That despite his promises to himself, he just kept falling for her deeper and deeper.

He loved her.

“I think my father just wanted me to learn to support myself, you know? I always resented him saying that, and because of that resentment, I never bothered to learn when he was alive. But he was right. I can see how selfishly I’d been living. This has helped me grow up, and at twenty-four, it’s about time.”

He stared at her. “How can you be so generous? So understanding?”

“It’s just facts.” She reached out and hugged him. His heart broke.

Sorry, Edmund, he pleaded silently. Forgive me, but I have to do this.

He had to tell the truth. “Caitlin.” His voice was hoarse, and for the life of him he could’t force himself to return her sweet smile. “I have to show you something.”

He drew her to her feet, using the excuse to hold her close one more time, for he held no illusions.

This would be the last time.

“It’s upstairs,” he said. “Will you come with me?”

“Anywhere,” she said simply, and his chest tightened all the more.

In his room, he went to his jeans, which were still lying on the floor. Slipping them on, he pulled out Edmund’s letter from the pocket.

Caitlin recognized her father’s writing. “What’s this?” she asked, looking at him.

“Read it.”

“Oh, my God,” she breathed, sinking onto the bed as she did just that. “He ran out of money… He asked you to take care of me.” She closed her eyes on the mortification. “And I thought I was doing it on my own.” She let out a choked laugh. “Not only did he make you give me a job-he had such a low opinion of me that he thought you would have to help teach me to support myself!”

“No, no Caitlin, it’s not like that-”

She leaped off the bed, and though he thought he’d been prepared for her to walk out of his life, he’d been wrong.

He couldn’t let her go.

He caught her at the door, barely. “Wait. Caitlin-”

“No.” She ripped free, his shirt flying up above her luscious thighs. Her wild hair swung in a curtain when she whipped around to face him. “You knew all along his money was gone. You called me princess, you made fun of me, and you knew!”

“No, no, I didn’t. I saw the note for the first time yesterday. I know how this all sounds to you, but you’ve got to listen.” He grabbed her shoulders and jerked her close, as if he could shake the belief right back into her. “Before you came into my life, all I thought about was work. I ate, slept and drank work.”

“You still do,” she said bitterly, shrugging him off and backing to the door. “What a fool I’ve been. I thought you were starting to come around, starting to care for me.”

“I was. Am!”

“Right.”

“Caitlin,” he said in a grating voice, coming after her, letting pride go because he had no choice. No choice at all. “You have no idea how difficult this is for me to say, but it’s the truth. I care for you. More than I ever have for anyone.”

“I don’t think so. I think this is guilt. It’s just you fulfilling a stupid promise you made to my father.” Her lovely eyes filled. “And because he meant so much to you, you’ll do anything to see the vow through.”

“He did mean a lot to me. But you’ve got the promise thing all wrong-”

He was talking to air.

When he caught her on the stairs, she spun on him. “Did you guys get a good laugh at my expense?” Her eyes were stark with pain. “Tim and Andy. And Vince. Was it all a joke? Their help? Their friendship?”

“No. No, Caitlin. God. They worship you. You’ve got to know that.”

“I know nothing anymore,” she said sadly, backing from him. “Except that apparently I’ve been such a burden to you that you couldn’t even explain the truth to me.”

“You read the letter. He asked me not to tell you. Whether it was pride or love-”

She let out a hard laugh. “Don’t fool yourself. He loved you, Joe.”

She made it to the bottom of the stairs before he caught up with her and hauled her back against him. “It was far more than just a promise,” he grated into her ear as she struggled valiantly against him. “And you’re not going anywhere. Not even if you did manage to put some pants on.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You don’t have a car.”

“I’m a pro at public transportation, believe me.”

“Forget it.” He entertained some half-baked idea about holding her down on his bed and proving to her in the only way he knew how to show her how much he cared.

“In your mind, you owed him,” she panted as she wiggled and shimmied to free herself, grunting when he simply slung her over his shoulder.

“It started out that way, yes. Damn, you’re heavy. Ouch-” He snarled through his teeth when she bit him on the shoulder, hard. “But I did start to care about you. Hell! I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” He carried her up the steps, back into his room.

Tossing her to the bed, he watched her eyes darken with anger when she bounced.

“You only thought about me so much because of all the trouble I caused,” she accused, furious. Hurt.

When he knelt next to her, she crawled away.

“Don’t touch me.” She ran around the side of the bed, jerked her skirt off the floor and slid it over her legs. “Don’t ever touch me again.”

“Dammit, Caitlin.”

“No, I mean it,” she said when he came after her. “Don’t touch me now-I won’t be able to resist you if you do.” Biting her lip, she looked wildly around, then shoved her bare, petite feet into his large tennis shoes. Her anger faded at the look on his face. “This isn’t all your fault,” she allowed. “It’s mostly mine, actually. I’m an idiot to have fallen for you.”

“I fell for you, too,” he said quietly.

She straightened and tugged down the hem of his shirt with touching dignity despite the fact that only a fraction of an inch of her skirt stuck out the bottom, and she looked like a little girl playing dress-up. “It came far too late, Joe.”

Now he knew real, gut-wrenching fear. The kind he hadn’t felt since he’d been a kid with nowhere to go and nothing to eat. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I have to go.”

He reached for her again, but she backed away. Nothing had ever hurt as much as that. “Don’t do that,” he beseeched her, fighting nasty by going in low and snagging her to him. “Don’t back away from me-I can’t take it.”

“I feel like you betrayed me, Joe. I can’t forget that.”

“And I can’t let you go,” he said softly, gentling his hold. With minute care, he cupped her neck and drew her forward so that his mouth could find hers, quietly, slowly, then deeper, until he felt his insides start to crack apart at the emotional pressure built up there. His hands framed her face, then slid down her neck, over her shoulders to mold her body, drawing a soft, needy sound from her.

Then she shoved back, her eyes wide and luminous. “Don’t kiss me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like-” Her voice cracked. “Like you love me.” Covering her mouth with a shaking hand, she walked away, only to stop, hand hovering over the doorknob when he spoke.

“Don’t go, Caitlin.”

“I can’t stay here with you-it would hurt too much. I want more from you than just…this. I want trust. And love. If I stay, I’ll make both of us miserable, and I refuse to do that. I deserve more, Joe, and so do you.”

“Wait. Please-” With horror, he realized how close he was to actually begging her. Begging. God. He’d been through some unbelievably tough spots before, but he’d never resorted to begging.

She looked at him then, really looked at him, and he knew she was seeing past the exterior to the real him. To his deepest of souls. In her eyes, he could see the flicker of life. Of hope. Of love. Hard to accept, when he still hadn’t quite let himself believe that she could really love him.

“What should I wait for, Joe?”

The words stuck in his throat.

When he didn’t speak, the hope in her eyes went out. Simply extinguished. Liquid brown eyes cold for the first time since he’d met her, she left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her.

All Joe could do was try to swallow past the lump in his throat and watch her go.

He’d ruined everything, and with his eyes wide open.

All because he’d waited too long to trust her with the heart he’d protected from harm for years. All because he’d waited too long to tell her he’d finally, truly, irrevocably fallen in love.

Hell, maybe he should have begged.