Wife And Mother Forever

CHAPTER TEN

THE Villa Rinucci was in turmoil. For days everything was dedicated to the great party at which Hope would introduce her new son to her friends. It would be organised along the same lines as her birthday festivities, but grander still. The whole world must know that she rejoiced in her son.

While she buried herself in menus and wine lists the two families worked at getting better acquainted. Justin spent time with Toni and Primo. His relationship with Primo was slightly edgy, but he worked hard at being cordial, conscious of what he owed him. They were both businessmen, and Primo had business interests in England, and on that level they could meet.

Francesco and Luke had left the villa to attend to their work, promising to return for the party. The twins still had a bedroom each at the villa, although both had apartments in Naples where, according to their mother, they ‘got up to no good’ and very much enjoyed doing so.

But for the moment their apartments were left empty as they devoted themselves to entertaining Evie and Mark. Mark gravitated instinctively to the boyish Carlo, adopting him as a favourite uncle. This was no surprise, according to his caustic twin, since Carlo had been blessed with the mind of a child.

Carlo responded in kind, and the cheerful insults flew back and forth, sometimes in English, in honour of the guests, but becoming more Italian as the atmosphere grew livelier. Mark, Evie was amused to notice, was making eager notes, desperate not to lose a single rude word, while she leaned close to Justin and translated for him.

The merry battle continued for most of the evening, engulfing the entire family, until Hope called them to order through her laughter. Mark went to bed blissfully happy and spent the next day practising Neapolitan insults until Carlo frantically covered his mouth, muttering, ‘I’ll tell you what that means when you’re older.’

‘Much older,’ said Evie, who was also learning fast.

Her own preference was for Ruggiero, a dark horse. He was a quiet, thoughtful young man, with a kind of subdued fierceness about him that sometimes reminded her of Justin. But the great love of his life was his motorbike and, after the first startled recognition, he and Evie greeted each other as kindred spirits.

One day they vanished for several hours so that he could demonstrate his bike. There was a brief tense moment just before they departed, when Ruggiero explained formally to Justin that he was taking Evie away for the afternoon, ‘with your consent.’

‘Oi!’ Evie said. ‘With his consent or without it. I don’t need his permission. Come on.’

She gave Justin’s cheek a quick kiss and hurried out, eager to try the new toy.

They were out much longer than she’d intended, finally driving up the road to the villa, exhilarated and on the best of terms, to find the whole family watching their approach from the terrace.

‘You’re late for supper,’ Carlo yelled down. ‘We’ve eaten it all.’

‘It was delicious,’ Mark cried. ‘The best ever.’

‘But of course we saved you some,’ Hope said, smiling. ‘It will be ready when you’ve freshened up. There is no hurry.’

The meal was, as Mark had promised, delicious. She and Ruggiero dined together while Mark helped to serve them, chattering all the time. There was no sign of Justin.

She sought him out later.

‘Aren’t you going to tell me about your day?’ she asked.

‘I think I may be able to do some business with Primo. There’s a lot to discuss, but I see it happening.’

‘And you’ll make a pot of money?’

‘Hopefully.’

‘Fine. Then you’ve had a good day.’

‘I hope you enjoyed yours.’

‘It was wonderful,’ she said blissfully. ‘As soon as we get back to England I’m going to sell my machine and buy one like his. The speed! I’ve never known anything like it.’

‘I was worried about you,’ Justin said quietly, with the smallest vibration of anger in his voice.

‘There was no need. You knew I was with Ruggiero.’

‘Driving on a strange bike over strange roads. And I don’t even like to think what speed you were doing.’

‘Then don’t,’ she said briskly. That ‘with your consent’ still rankled. ‘I can control a bike at speed.’

‘Control? You mean he let you ride that thing in front?’

‘In the end, yes. No way was I going to be content riding pillion.’

‘You’re mad.’

‘You’ve always known that. What’s so different now?’

‘I was worried,’ he shouted. ‘Can’t you understand that?’

Instantly she was contrite. She had forgotten how he took things to heart.

‘Yes, I can understand,’ she said gently. ‘Don’t worry about me. I needed that ride, but I’ve got the madness out of my system, at least for a while.’

‘Yes, promise me that you won’t do it again.’

‘I will not. I’ll want another ride before I leave here.’

‘But not in the front. Pillion is OK, but-’

‘Justin, stop there. I decide what’s OK for me, not you. Now let’s leave this.’

His eyes were dark and angry.

‘I’m not ready to leave it. I don’t like you risking your life, and I don’t like you gadding off for hours with another man-‘

‘Another man? You mean that boy who’s two years younger than I am? Nonsense. I’m like an older sister to him.’

‘Did he treat you like an older sister?’

‘Of course he did,’ she said, trying to banish the memory of Ruggiero’s arms about her body when he had been riding pillion, and the gleam of admiration in his eyes that had had nothing to do with motorbikes.

He had flirted with her in a way that had danced to the edge of acceptability, and had then danced nimbly away again when she had fended him off with laughter. It hadn’t troubled her. Flirting was one of the great pleasures of her life, but she always knew when to stop.

But Justin would never be able to believe that, she realised. Perhaps it was time to give up flirtations.

‘He treated me like a fellow motorbike nutter. It’s a club. We’re all crazy about the same thing. Plus he was entertaining me to leave you free for your mother.’

‘Hope has plenty to see to. You and I could have spent the afternoon together.’

‘And miss doing business with Primo? Look, I’m sorry. Let’s forget about it.’

‘As long as you promise not to do it again.’

Part of her wanted to agree to whatever pleased him, but another part of her simply couldn’t yield to possessiveness, even his.

‘I said leave it,’ she said quietly.

‘I suppose that’s my answer.’

‘No, the answer is-stop trying to give me orders. Stop trying to control me.’

He took a sharp intake of breath and she looked up to find something in his eyes that might have been fear. They stared at each other, both equally shocked by the silly quarrel that had come out of nowhere and taken them both by surprise.

Then he pulled back quickly. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.’

Softened, she reached out. ‘Darling-’

‘Just forget it, will you?’ he said hastily. Then he turned and walked away from her without a backward glance.

Evie was left feeling saddened and angry with herself that she hadn’t handled it better. A noise from above made her look up to see Hope at the top of the stairs. She wasn’t looking at Evie and after a moment she walked away. It was impossible to tell how much she had heard.

Then Evie forgot everything in the rush of last-minute preparations. She spent a wonderful day among the fashion shops of Naples, returning with a black silk clinging creation that gave her a dazzling new persona, quite different from the boyish biker.

In this gown she was elegant and sophisticated. She would do Justin credit.

He knocked at her door just as she was trying to decide what jewellery to wear. She owned very little as most of her money went on the bike.

But Justin had the solution, holding up a diamond pendant and diamond earrings that were perfect with the dress.

‘You bought these for me?’ she asked in delight.

‘No, they’re from Hope. She asked me to give them to you.’

It passed across her mind briefly that he always referred to his mother as Hope, but then she was distracted by the beauty of the diamonds as she fixed the earrings into place.

‘She bought these for me?’ she asked in wonder.

‘No, I think she already had them.’

‘Put the pendant on for me,’ she begged, turning her back.

He fastened the clasp, then let his hands rest on her bare shoulders. They were warm and strong, giving her a good feeling.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I shouldn’t have got mad at you for going out the other day. I know you’re not quite sane where motorbikes are concerned.’

‘I’ll let that insult pass,’ she told him, smiling. ‘Anyway, it was my fault too. I was cross with Ruggiero for asking your permission to take me out, and you got the backlash. I should have remembered that he’s Italian and they have more formal ideas about families.’

He dropped a kiss on the nape of her neck and she shivered with pleasure.

‘I don’t think you should do that when we’re going to the party in a few minutes,’ she said in a shaking voice.

‘No.’ He sighed. ‘Perhaps it’s not very wise. I just wanted you to know-well, anyway. Shall we go downstairs?’

‘While we still can?’

‘Yes,’ he growled.

From the moment they appeared Evie knew that the evening was going to be a triumphant success. The food was laid out on long, groaning tables-Neapolitan grain pie, sautéed artichokes with baby potatoes, fruits, creams, the best wines served in fine crystal.

Hope had left nothing to chance, something which, Evie was beginning to feel, was typical of her. The young girl whose baby had been brutally stolen had grown into a woman of authority, armoured, imposing her will on life.

Times had changed. The child who once had to be hidden could now be announced to the world, and she was going to glory in it.

Justin and Mark stood by her side as a hundred guests arrived, and within an hour everyone in the room knew who he was. This might be Hope’s night, but it was also his.

When everyone had something to eat and drink Evie looked for Hope.

‘Thank you,’ she said, touching the diamonds. ‘They’re beautiful. Justin said that they were your own.’

‘Yes. They were given to me years ago by my husband. Toni knows I have given them to you, and he agrees. We hope that soon you will be one of us.’

She floated away without giving Evie a chance to confirm or deny it. That was her way. Hope Rinucci had made her wishes known. With amusement, Evie realised that she had been not so much welcomed into the family as ordered into it.

‘You look lonely,’ said a voice beside her in Italian. It was Primo.

‘No, I’m not lonely. I’ve just been talking to Hope.’

‘Has my mother told you what she’s planned for you?’ Primo asked with a grin.

‘Something like that.’

‘Don’t be annoyed with her, Evie. She has a kind heart and she wants everyone to be as happy as she is.’

‘I know that. I’m not annoyed.’

He held out his arms. ‘The music’s starting. Dance with me.’

As they waltzed he said, ‘You’re causing a sensation tonight. No man can take his eyes off you, and they all envy Justin.’

‘Stop talking nonsense,’ she told him demurely.

He laughed and they danced contentedly for a while. It was true, what he had said. All eyes were on her. Men clamoured for her hand, but she sat out the next dance, talking to Primo.

Then she saw Justin coming towards them and wondered if he would ask her to dance. But something stopped him when he was near, and he turned aside to sweep a beauty into his arms.

‘Primo, you must stop doing that,’ Evie said.

‘What am I doing?’ he asked innocently.

‘Talking to me in Italian. That’s what puts Justin off. It excludes him, you know that.’

His shrug was expressive. ‘Excludes? Do you think he feels excluded now that he has been included in so much that he never had before? He’s the hero of the hour.’

She stared. ‘You dislike him, don’t you?’

‘Why are you surprised? He’s not a man who’s easy to like.’

‘I suppose it’s-all this talk about brothers.’

‘But we’re not brothers. There’s no blood tie between us at all. He is my mother’s son-and I am not.’

The touch of bitterness in his voice was like a blindfold being torn from her eyes.

‘You’re jealous,’ she said incredulously.

‘Of course I am. Why not? Because I’m a grown man and you think such feelings are only for children?’

‘I suppose I meant something like that,’ she said wryly. ‘But it’s nonsense, of course. There’s always a small part of the child that never entirely grows up. It stays with the adult like a little ghost, haunting him and colouring all his thoughts and feelings.’

After a moment Primo nodded and said in a more sympathetic voice, ‘I see. Him too.’

‘Naturally. What do you think it was like for him, thinking himself unwanted by two mothers? You’ve nothing to feel jealous about.’

‘I’m surprised at you, Evie. You of all people should understand Italians better, for I consider myself Italian despite my English father. We’re not like the cold-blooded Anglo-Saxons. For us the family is still the centre of everything, and the mother is the centre of the family. That was true in the past, it is true now, and it always will be.

‘Hope has been the only mother I ever knew. In my childhood we were exceptionally close. For years I regarded myself as her eldest son. Then I discovered that I wasn’t. I began to wonder if our closeness had been an illusion. Was I no more than a stopgap for the son she’d lost?’

Evie made a sudden gesture. His words were so uncannily reminiscent of what Justin had said of his own adoptive parents.

‘But it was you who found him,’ Evie reminded Primo. ‘You’ve searched for years.’

‘For her sake. I wanted her to be happy. Now she is, and I am glad. But also-’ he gave a sheepish smile ‘-I am jealous.’

‘But you won’t let it spoil things, will you?’ she pleaded.

‘Of course not. Despite what I said before, he is my brother. But who says that brothers have to agree all the time?’

She slipped away from him, brooding on his words and trying to ignore a little voice in her head that said something was wrong. On the surface all was well, with Justin, as Primo had said, ‘the hero of the hour’.

And yet, she thought, troubled, and yet-

‘Is it my turn now?’

She turned and saw Justin.

‘I haven’t been able to get near you all evening,’ he said wryly.

‘I could say the same about you,’ she teased. ‘I must be the only woman you haven’t danced with.’

‘And the only woman I want to dance with.’

He opened his arms and she went into them.

‘I’m so happy for you,’ she said. ‘Who could ever have believed that it would all turn out as well as this? It’s a dream come true.’

‘More than that,’ he said. ‘How could I ever have imagined this?’

‘Never,’ she said happily. ‘It just shows, you never know what’s around the corner.’

He held her a little closer and she let her head fall on his shoulder, while the music played, soft and low. She thought back, just a few weeks, to before she had known this man. Now there was nowhere she wanted to be but in his arms.

She looked up, expecting to see him sharing her delight, but what she saw in his face startled her.

Instead of pleasure and satisfaction there was only confusion and a kind of bafflement. With a sense of alarm, she realised that she had never seen a man look so desperate.

‘Must you go?’ Hope pleaded the next day. ‘Have I only recovered my son to lose him again so soon?’

‘You won’t lose me,’ Justin said. ‘I’ll be back, but I must attend to my business.’

‘Please, Dad,’ Mark begged. ‘Just a few more days? It’s great here. Evie wants to stay too, don’t you?’

Smiling, she shook her head. ‘I have to get back to England too, but perhaps-’ A thought had come to her, seductive in its promise of pleasure and joy.

She exchanged a silent look with Hope, who understood her at once and beamed.

‘At least let Mark stay a little longer,’ she said. ‘Then I can be sure you will come back.’

Mark gave his father a beseeching look and Justin nodded.

‘Of course,’ he said. ‘If that’s what he’d like.’

Mark began a war dance of delight and his uncles Carlo and Ruggiero joined in. Justin relaxed and nodded.

‘I’ll come for him in September,’ he said.

‘And you will bring Evie with you?’ Hope urged. ‘And then we can discuss your marriage. Perhaps we can even have it here.’

‘We can talk about that later, Mamma,’ Justin said quickly.

‘Of course, my son. I understand. I’m a steamroller, aren’t I? I make plans for everyone and I don’t let anyone else get a word in. It’s just that I’m so anxious to welcome Evie into the family.’

Warmly she kissed Evie’s cheek.

‘My first daughter-in-law. How glad I will be to have you-’

‘Mamma,’ Primo murmured, ‘you’re doing it again.’

Everyone laughed heartily, except Justin, who gave only a faint smile. His mind seemed to be elsewhere. Evie was too preoccupied with thoughts of the coming blissful time, alone with him, to find this ominous.

Everyone came to see them off at the airport. Hope kissed her and whispered, ‘Soon, my dear daughter.’

‘I called Tom and told him to meet the flight,’ Justin said when they were in the air. Tom was his driver.

‘Will he take me to my apartment, or shall I call a taxi?’

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he said, almost angrily. ‘You’re coming home with me. That is-’ he became uneasy ‘-if you want to.’

She laughed. ‘I just wanted to know what you had in mind.’

‘I need to be alone with you. I haven’t had that for days.’

She nodded vigorously.

It was late when they reached home. Lily opened the door, smiling to see Evie. Acting on instructions, she’d prepared a room for her and showed her up to it, followed by Justin.

‘I’ve made a cold supper for you,’ she said when Evie’s bags were deposited in the bedroom, ‘and it’s on the table downstairs. Now, if it’s all right, I’m going to bed.’

‘Goodnight,’ they both said.

The moment the door closed behind her they were in each other’s arms, eager to make love and rediscover each other. He drew her down on to the bed, kissing her urgently as he removed her clothes and she removed his. And for a while it was as though the last week had never happened and everything was as it had been.

The sleep afterwards was deep and blissful. She awoke to the guilty thought that they hadn’t eaten the supper after all and turned her head to share the joke with Justin.

He wasn’t beside her on the bed, but by the window. He was naked, standing with his eyes fixed on her, so still that he might have been a statue. And the air was jagged.

‘Justin, what is it?’ she whispered. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I don’t know. I woke up in a black cloud. It came over me while I was asleep, but it’s as though I’ve been waiting for it. It was bound to happen.’

‘So, you’ve got a touch of depression, but you’re tired and you’ve had a lot of stuff to deal with. It’ll pass.’

‘I wish I believed that. But ever since I met my mother I’ve waited for the right feelings to come. At the party I looked around at them, my whole family, the features that so many of us share, and I kept saying to myself, I’ve come home. This is it, the happy ending where I finally know who I am and where I belong.

‘And Evie, do you know what happened? Nothing. I repeated it again and again, waiting for the spring of joy that would make everything as it should be. But there’s nothing there.’

‘But my love, of course there isn’t. It’s much too soon. Only fairy tales give you an instant happy ending. In life it takes longer. You haven’t lived all these years in a vacuum. You’ve become a certain kind of person-’

‘Harsh, suspicious, unfeeling-’

‘Don’t say that about yourself. You’re not unfeeling, and I know that better than anyone. If anything you’re hurt too easily, so you’ve tried to make yourself unfeeling, but it hasn’t worked.’

‘Don’t you think I’d know more about that than you?’ he asked quietly.

‘No, I don’t. You’re the man I love and I’m going to go on loving. I know it won’t be easy, but whatever demons you’ve got in your head I’ll drive them away.’

‘I wish I thought you could, that anyone could. I shouldn’t have brought you home here with me, I shouldn’t have made love to you. Forgive me for that. My only excuse is that I couldn’t have borne not to. I had to be close to you again, and then to talk to you like this and tell you what’s becoming clear to me, although God knows I don’t want to face it.’

‘What?’ she asked, trying to quell the rising alarm in her. ‘What is it that you don’t want to face?’

‘That we can’t love each other and it’s better if we say goodbye while there’s still time.’