A Good Woman

Chapter 8

As promised, Annabelle and Josiah stopped off to say good-bye to her mother on the way out of town. The Hispano-Suiza, driven by Thomas, was taking them into the city, to meet their train that afternoon. They were going to Chicago for the first leg of the trip and from there would change trains to continue their journey west to Wyoming, to a ranch Josiah had been to once and loved. They would ride horses, and go fishing and hiking amid the incredible scenery of the Grand Tetons. Josiah had told her it was more beautiful than the Alps in Switzerland-and they didn’t have to take a ship to get there. They would be staying for almost three weeks. Then they would come home to New York to start looking for a new home big enough for them and the children they hoped to have. Consuelo was hoping that, like Hortie, Annabelle would come home pregnant from their honeymoon.

Consuelo searched her daughter’s face the next morning, looking for changes, and the tenderness of a woman loved that hadn’t been there before, but what she saw was the beaming child she had loved all her life. Nothing had changed. Consuelo was pleased to see that she had adjusted well. There was no recalcitrance, or look of frightened amazement that one saw sometimes on brides’ faces after the wedding night. Annabelle was as happy as ever, and still treated Josiah more like an old friend than a new love. Before saying goodbye to her mother they had stopped at Josiah’s house to say good-bye to Henry too.

Consuelo was having lunch with Josiah’s father and stepmother when the new couple stopped by. Everyone was in good spirits and talking of the delights and beauty of the night before. Her mother hugged her tightly again, she and Josiah thanked his father for the rehearsal dinner, and they left in the Hispano-Suiza moments later.

She would have liked to stop and say good-bye to Hortie too, but her mother said that James had sent a message that she was in labor. She had made it through the wedding, and gone into labor during the night. Her mother and the doctor were with her, and James was having lunch with friends. Annabelle hoped it would go well for her. She knew Hortie was nervous about the size of the baby, and how difficult it might be. One of their friends, who had made her debut at the same time they did, had died in childbirth only months before. It had been sobering for all of them. It happened, and sometimes couldn’t be avoided, and often there were infections afterward, which almost always killed the mother. So Annabelle said a quiet prayer for Hortie as they left, wondering if her own mother was right, and it would be a boy. It was an exciting thought, which made her wonder too if she would return from their honeymoon pregnant, with a baby conceived in the wilds of Wyoming.

She was grateful that Josiah had been kind and respectful of her the night before. Adding the newness of sex to such an overwhelming day would have been too much, although she would have been willing if he’d insisted. But she had to admit, she was glad he hadn’t. He was the perfect, kind, understanding husband, and as he had promised in the beginning, still her very best friend. She looked at him adoringly as they drove into the city, and they chatted some more about their wedding, and he described Wyoming to her again. He had promised to teach her how to fish. To Annabelle, it seemed like the perfect honeymoon. And Josiah agreed when she said it to him.

They got to New York at five o’clock, in perfect time for their train at six, and settled into the largest first-class compartment on the train. Annabelle clapped her hands in delight when she saw it.

“This is so much fun! I love it!” she giggled as he laughed happily at her.

“You are such a silly girl, and I love you.” He put his arms around her and kissed her as he drew her close to him.

They were spending the next day in Chicago, before getting on another train and heading west that night. He had promised to show her the city during their brief stopover, and had taken a suite at the Palmer House Hotel, so they could rest comfortably between trains. He had thought of everything. He wanted Annabelle to be happy. She deserved it after all she had lost, and all they’d suffered, and he vowed to himself as the train left Grand Central Station that he would never let her down. He meant every word of it. It was a solemn promise to him.

By six o’clock that afternoon, as Josiah and Annabelle’s train left the station, Hortie’s baby had not yet been born. It had been an arduous and agonizing labor. The baby was large, and she was small. She had been screaming and writhing for hours. James had come home after lunch, and found her screams so piercing and disconcerting that he had poured himself a stiff drink and gone out again to dine with friends. He hated to think of Hortie going through that, but there was nothing he could do. It was what women did. He was sure that the doctor, her mother, and two nurses were doing all they could.

He was drunk when he came home at two o’clock that morning, and stunned to hear the baby still hadn’t come. He was too inebriated to discern the look of terror on his mother-in-law’s face. Hortie was so weak by then that her screams had diminished, much to his relief, and a piteous, animal moaning sound drifted throughout the house. He put a pillow over his head, and went to sleep. A sharp rapping on the guest-room door, where he was sleeping, as far away as possible from the bedroom where his wife was delivering, finally woke him up at five A.M. It was his mother-in-law telling him that his son had been born, and weighed just under ten pounds. The baby had made mincemeat of her daughter, but she didn’t mention that to James. If he’d been more sober, he might have figured it out for himself. He thanked her for the news, and went back to sleep, promising to see Hortie and the baby in the morning when he woke. He couldn’t have seen her then anyway, the doctor was sewing her up, after the tears the birth had caused.

Hortie had been in hard labor for twenty-six hours, with a ten-pound boy. She was still sobbing miserably as the doctor made careful stitches, and they finally gave her chloroform. It had been a difficult birth, and she could easily have died. They still had to worry about infection, so she wasn’t out of the woods yet. But the baby was fine. Hortie was a lot less so. Her initiation into motherhood had been a trial by fire of the worst kind. Her mother would whisper about it to her friends for months to come. But all that would ever be said publicly was that the baby had arrived, and mother and child were fine. The rest could only be said among women, behind closed doors, keeping the agony of childbirth, and its appalling risks, carefully hidden from the ears of men.

When Consuelo heard about it from Hortie’s mother the next day, she was sorry that Hortie had had such a rough time. Robert had been easy for Consuelo, but Annabelle had been more challenging, as she was born breech, feet first, and miraculously they’d both survived. She just hoped that Annabelle herself would have an easier delivery than Hortie’s. They were doing everything possible so infection wouldn’t set in now. After such a difficult birth, it was often hard to avoid, although no one knew why.

Consuelo said she would come to visit her in a few days, but her mother admitted that Hortie wasn’t up to it yet, and might not be for a while. They were planning to keep her in bed for a month. She said that James had seen Hortie and the baby for a few minutes, and they had pinked up her cheeks and combed her hair, but she just cried. He was over the moon about his son. It made Consuelo think of Arthur, who had always been so kind to her after their children’s births. For a young man, he had been unusually compassionate and understanding. And she had a feeling Josiah would be too. But James was barely more than a boy himself, and had no idea what delivering a baby entailed. He had said at the wedding that he hoped they had another one soon, and Hortie had laughed and rolled her eyes. Consuelo felt sorry for her, knowing what she had just been through. She sent over a basket of fruit and a huge bouquet of flowers for her that afternoon, and prayed that she’d recover soon. It was all that one could do. She was in good hands. And Consuelo knew only too well that after this birth, Hortie would no longer be the carefree girl she had once been. She had paid her dues.

As it turned out, Hortie made it out of bed in three weeks instead of a month. The baby was thriving, they had a wet nurse for him, and they had bound Hortie’s breasts to stop her milk. She was still a little wobbly on her feet, but looking well. She was young and healthy, and she had been lucky to escape infection, and was no longer at risk. Consuelo had been to visit her several times. James was bursting with pride over his enormous son, whom they had named Charles. The baby got fatter every day. And three weeks after his birth, they drove Hortie back to New York in an ambulance, to continue her recovery in town. She was happy to go home. Consuelo left Newport on the same day.

It was lonely for her once she got back to New York. The house was deadly quiet without Annabelle, who was always so full of light and life and fun, always checking on her mother, and offering to do things with her. The full weight of her solitude and the loneliness of her future hit Consuelo like a bomb when she got home. It was hard being there alone. And she was grateful that the newlyweds were due back from their honeymoon in two days. She had run into Henry Orson on the street and he seemed lonely too. Josiah and Annabelle brought so much light and joy to those around them, that without them, everyone felt deprived. Consuelo, Hortie, and Henry could hardly wait for them to come back.

And then in a burst of cheer, they returned. Annabelle insisted on stopping in to see her mother on the way home from the station, and Consuelo was delighted to see her, looking healthy, happy, and brown. Josiah looked well too. They still bantered with each other like children in a schoolyard, teasing, laughing, making jokes about everything. Annabelle said that Josiah had taught her fly fishing and she had caught an enormous trout on her own. Josiah looked proud of her. They had ridden horses, gone hiking in the mountains, and thoroughly enjoyed life on the ranch. She looked like a child who had been away for the summer. It was hard to believe she was grown-up and married. And Consuelo could see none of the subtleties and innuendoes of womanhood on her face. She had no idea if a baby had been conceived, and she didn’t want to ask. But Annabelle looked like the same gentle, loving, happy young girl she’d been when she left. She asked how Hortie was, and Consuelo said she was doing well. She didn’t want to frighten Annabelle with stories about the birth, and it wouldn’t have been suitable for Josiah’s ears anyway, so she simply said that all was fine, and told her the baby had been named Charles. She left it to Hortie to tell Annabelle the rest, or not. And she hoped not. Most of it was too frightening for a young woman to hear. Particularly one who might be going through the same thing soon. There was no point terrifying her.

They stayed for an hour and then said their good-byes. Annabelle promised to visit her mother the next day, and they both would dine with her that night. And then after hugging Consuelo, the young couple went home. It had cheered Consuelo immeasurably to see them both, but the house seemed emptier than ever when they left. She was hardly eating these days, as it was too lonely sitting in the dining room alone.

True to her word, Annabelle came to have lunch with her mother the following day. She was wearing one of the outfits from her trousseau, a very grown-up-looking navy-blue wool suit, but she still looked like a child to her mother. Even with the trappings of womanhood, and a wedding ring on her finger, she acted like a young girl. She seemed very happy as they chatted over lunch, and Annabelle asked her what she’d been doing. Her mother said she hadn’t been in town for long, and had stayed in Newport later than usual, enjoying the September weather, and now she was planning to start her volunteer work at the hospital again. She expected Annabelle to say she’d join her, or mention that she was going back to the Hospital for the Ruptured and Crippled again, but she surprised her mother and said that she wanted to begin volunteering at Ellis Island instead. The work there would be more interesting and challenging for her, and they were so shorthanded that she would have more opportunity to help with medical work, and not just observe or carry trays. Hearing about it, her mother was upset.

“Those people are so often sick, they bring in diseases from other countries. The conditions there are terrible. I think that’s a very foolish thing for you to do. You’ll wind up catching influenza again or worse. I don’t want you to do that.” But she was a married woman now, and it was up to Josiah what she did. She asked her daughter if he knew what she had in mind. Annabelle nodded and smiled. Josiah was very sensible about things like that, and he had always been understanding and enthusiastic about her medical interests and the volunteer work she did. She had told him about her new plans.

“He thinks it’s fine.”

“Well, I don’t.” Consuelo frowned, gravely upset.

“Mama, don’t forget that the worst case of influenza I ever had, I caught in a bunch of ballrooms, going to parties when I came out. Not working with the poor.”

“That’s all the more reason for you not to do it,” Consuelo said firmly. “If you can get that sick at parties among healthy, well-kept people, imagine how sick you will get working with people who live in terrible unsanitary conditions and are riddled with diseases. Besides, if you get pregnant, which I hope you will or are, that would be a terrible idea and would put you and the baby at risk. Has Josiah thought of that?” Something crossed her daughter’s eyes that Consuelo didn’t understand, but it vanished in a flash.

“I’m in no hurry to start a family, Mama. Josiah and I want to have some fun first.” It was the first time Consuelo had heard her say that, and she was surprised. She wondered if she was using one of the new, or even ancient, methods to keep from having a child. But she didn’t dare to ask.

“When did you decide that?” Her daughter’s comment had answered Consuelo’s question about whether Annabelle had gotten pregnant on the trip. Apparently not.

“I just feel too young. And we’re having so much fun without a baby to worry about. We want to take some more trips. Maybe to California next year. Josiah says that San Francisco is beautiful, and he wants to show me the Grand Canyon. I can’t do that if I’m expecting.”

“The Grand Canyon can wait,” her mother said, looking disappointed. “I’m sorry to hear it. I’m looking forward to grandchildren,” she said sadly. She had nothing in her life now, except visits with Annabelle, rather than living with her, which she loved. Grandchildren would have filled a void for her.

“You’ll have them,” Annabelle reassured her. “Just not yet. Don’t be in such a hurry. As Josiah says, we have lots of time.” He had said it more than once on the trip, and she had no choice but to agree. He was her husband after all, and she had to follow his lead.

“Well, I still don’t want you working on Ellis Island. I thought you liked the volunteer work you were doing.” The Hospital for the Ruptured and Crippled was bad enough, in Consuelo’s opinion. Ellis Island was unthinkable.

“I think Ellis Island would be more interesting, and give me more of a chance to improve my skills,” Annabelle repeated, and her mother looked startled by what she said.

“What skills? What do you have up your sleeve?” Annabelle was always full of new ideas, particularly about medicine and science. They were clearly her passion, even if she didn’t get to exercise them in any official way.

“Nothing, Mama,” Annabelle said seriously, looking a little sad. “I just wish I could help people more, and I think I’m capable of doing more than what they let me do at the hospitals here.” Her mother didn’t know that she wished she could be a doctor. It was one of those dreams that Annabelle knew would never come to fruition, so why talk about it and upset her? But at least she could come as close as possible, as a volunteer. Ellis Island, and their acute need there, understaffed and overpopulated, would give her a chance to do that. It was Henry Orson who had suggested it to her. He knew a doctor there and had promised to introduce her. And because it was Henry, Josiah had approved the plan.

Annabelle went to visit Hortie after lunch with her mother. She was still in bed some of the time, but getting up more and more often. Annabelle was shocked by how thin she looked, and how tired. The baby was big and beautiful, but Hortie looked like she’d been through the wars, and said she had.

“It was awful,” she said honestly, with eyes that still told the tale. “No one ever said it would be like that. I thought I was dying, and my mother said I nearly did. And James says he wants another one soon. I think he’s trying to start a dynasty, or a baseball team or something. I still can’t sit down, and I was lucky I didn’t get an infection. That probably would have killed me like Aimee Jackson last year.” Hortie looked seriously impressed and badly shaken by what she’d been through. And Annabelle couldn’t help wondering if the baby was worth it. He was adorable, but it wouldn’t have been adorable if his arrival had killed Hortie, and it sounded like it nearly had. It seemed terrifying when Hortie told her what it had been like. “I think I screamed for all twenty-six hours. I’m not even sure I want to do that again. And imagine if it were twins, I think I’d kill myself rather than go through it. Imagine having two in one night!” She looked horrified, whereas six months before she had thought having twins would be funny. Having babies had turned out to be far more serious business than she’d previously thought. And the story she told was scaring her old friend. Enough so that Annabelle was grateful that she wasn’t pregnant. “What about you?” Hortie asked, looking mischievous suddenly and more like her old self. “How was the honeymoon? Isn’t sex fabulous? It’s a shame it has to end up in childbirth, although I guess it can be avoided, if you’re lucky. Do you think you’re pregnant yet?”

“No,” Annabelle said quickly. “I’m not. And we’re in no rush. And what you’re telling me makes me never want to do it.”

“My mother says I shouldn’t talk about it to women who haven’t had babies.” Hortie looked guilty then. “I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“That’s all right,” Annabelle said sunnily. She had offered no comment about their sex life and didn’t intend to. “You just make me glad I’m not pregnant.” Hortie lay back in bed then with a tired sigh, as the wet nurse brought the baby in to show them how fat and handsome he was. He was a lovely baby, and sleeping soundly in the nurse’s arms.

“I suppose he was worth it,” his mother said, sounding uncertain, as the nurse left again. Hortie didn’t like to hold him often. Motherhood still scared her, and she hadn’t forgiven the baby yet for the agony he’d caused her. She knew she’d remember that for a long, long time. “My mother says I’ll forget eventually. I’m not so sure. It was really awful,” she said again. “Poor James has no idea, and I’m not allowed to tell him. Men aren’t supposed to know.” It seemed a strange principle to Annabelle, since they would have told him if she died. But failing that, it was supposed to remain a mystery, and one was supposed to pretend that everything had been easy and fine.

“I don’t see why he can’t know. I would tell Josiah. There’s nothing I can’t say to him. And I think he’d worry about me, if I didn’t.”

“Some men are like that. James isn’t. He’s a baby. And Josiah is a lot older, he’s more like your father. So did you have fun?”

“We had a wonderful time.” Annabelle smiled. “I learned to flyfish, and we rode every day.” She had loved galloping over the foothills with Josiah amid seas of wildflowers.

“What else did you learn?” Hortie asked with an evil look, and Annabelle ignored her. “I learned some pretty interesting stuff from James on our honeymoon in Paris.” Everyone in town knew that before his marriage at least, James had gone to prostitutes constantly. There were whispers about it. And he had probably learned things from them that Annabelle didn’t want to know, although Hortie didn’t seem to mind. Annabelle much preferred being married to Josiah, even if they didn’t start a family for a while. And they needed to find a house first anyway, since his apartment was too small.

Hortie got nowhere with her questions and racy innuendoes, and eventually she got tired and had to nap, so Annabelle left her and went home. It had been good to see her, and the baby was beautiful, but the story of his birth had shaken Annabelle. She wanted a baby, but had no desire to go through all that. And she wondered how long it would be before she had a baby of her own. She would have liked to hold Charles for a moment, but Hortie had never offered, and seemed to have no desire to hold the baby herself. But given what had happened to her, Annabelle told herself that it was understandable, and she wondered if it took time to develop maternal instincts, just as it took time to get used to the idea of being a husband or wife. Neither she nor Josiah had fully gotten used to all of that yet.