A Good Woman

Chapter 6

Much to Consuelo’s delight, at Annabelle’s urging, they invited Josiah to dinner on Christmas Eve. It wasn’t a romantic move on Annabelle’s part, she just felt that he had been so nice to them that they should do something for him in return, since he was alone for Christmas. As they always did, they had Christmas Eve dinner in white tie. Annabelle and her mother wore evening gowns, and as directed, Josiah arrived in a well-cut tailcoat with an immaculately starched shirt and vest, with beautiful old pearl and diamond studs and cuff links that had been his grandfather’s. And he touched them both by bringing presents.

Annabelle had bought a cashmere scarf for Josiah, and a cookbook partly as a joke, but he said he loved it. And Annabelle was embarrassed to discover that he had bought her a beautiful gold bracelet at Tiffany, and a handsome black silk scarf for her mother.

They shared a lovely, warm evening together, and sat in front of the fireplace after dinner. Josiah drank brandy, while the two ladies drank eggnog laced with rum, from a recipe Arthur had always made, and they admired the tree that Consuelo and Annabelle had decorated. It was a difficult Christmas for them that year, understandably, and Josiah avoided the topic of the current hearings that were in the news about the Titanic. He knew that whatever happened, they wouldn’t want to hear it. It would change nothing for them now.

Annabelle announced to them that Hortie had gotten back from their honeymoon that afternoon, and had rushed over to tell her she was already pregnant. Hortie was certain of it and said that she and James were thrilled, although she found the prospect a little scary. She had just barely become a wife, and now was going to be a mother, sometime in late August, as closely as she could figure it. Hortie said the baby had been conceived in Paris, and then she had giggled mysteriously, like the little girl she still was despite her new status, and made all kinds of innuendoes about their sex life that Annabelle didn’t want to hear. Hortie said that sex was fabulous, and James was incredible in bed, not that she had any frame of reference, but she had never had so much fun in all her life. Annabelle didn’t mention any of that to her mother or Josiah, but just said that Hortie was having a baby and was very excited about it. Listening to the news, Consuelo hoped that the following Christmas Annabelle and Josiah would have the same kind of news to share, providing they were married by then, which she hoped fervently they would be. Consuelo couldn’t see the point of a long engagement once they announced it.

Before he left that night Josiah said he was going skiing in Vermont over New Year’s with his old classmate, Henry Orson. As they were the last single men left at their age, according to him, he said it was nice to still have someone to do things with. Their New Year ski trip to Woodstock was a tradition they engaged in every year, and he was particularly looking forward to it this year, with a new ski jump recently added to the toboggan run. Josiah asked if Annabelle knew how to ski or snowshoe. She said she didn’t, but would love to learn. A veiled look passed between him and Consuelo, and he promised to teach her sometime. He suggested that maybe he, Annabelle, and her mother could take a trip to Vermont together. Annabelle’s eyes lit up, and she said it sounded like a lot of fun. He said they had wonderful sleigh rides in Woodstock too.

Josiah stayed till after midnight, and after he thanked them again for the presents and the delicious meal, Consuelo mysteriously disappeared while the two young people said goodnight. Annabelle thanked him profusely again for her bracelet, which she loved, and which was already on her arm.

“I’m glad you like it,” he said warmly. “I know you’re not supposed to wear jewelry right now, but if your mother objects, maybe you can wear it later.” He hadn’t wanted to offend Consuelo by giving Annabelle a bracelet while they were in mourning, but he had wanted to give her something that she’d enjoy for a long time. And he didn’t want to give her anything too lavish, or she might suspect what he had in mind. He thought the simple gold bracelet was discreet, and Annabelle was thrilled with it.

“Have a good time skiing,” she said as she walked him to the door. He was wearing an impeccably cut black coat and a white silk scarf over his tuxedo, with a homburg. As always, he looked extremely elegant. And Annabelle looked pretty and young in her simple black evening gown.

“I’ll call you when I get back,” he promised. “It will be after the first.” He kissed her chastely on the cheek, and she did the same, as they said good-bye.

Annabelle found her mother in the library, thumbing through a book. It was one of her father’s that Annabelle had read before.

“Why did you come in here?” Annabelle asked, looking surprised. Her mother wasn’t much of a reader, and she turned to her daughter with a gentle smile.

“I thought you and Josiah might like to be alone to say goodnight.” There was a deeper meaning in her eyes, and Annabelle looked momentarily annoyed.

“Josiah? Don’t be silly, Mama. We’re just friends. Don’t start getting ideas about him. It would spoil everything. I love the friendship that we have.”

“What if he wanted more?” Consuelo asked cryptically, and her daughter frowned.

“He doesn’t. And neither do I. We like it just the way it is. Just because Hortie got married and is having a baby doesn’t mean I have to. I can’t even go out for another four months. So I’m not going to meet anyone for a while, and who knows if I’ll ever meet someone I like and want to marry.” She sighed and put her arms around her mother. “Are you trying to get rid of me, Mama?” she asked gently.

“Of course not, I just want you to be happy. And nothing makes a woman happier than a husband and a child. Ask Hortie. I’ll bet she can’t wait to have that baby in her arms.”

“She sounds pretty happy,” Annabelle admitted with a shy smile. “She was trying to tell me all about her honeymoon. It sounds like they had a lovely time.” Mostly in bed, but she didn’t say that to her mother, she didn’t even want to know it herself.

“When is the baby due?”

“End of August, I think. She’s not sure. She says it happened in Paris, and James is thrilled too. He wants a boy.”

“All men do. But the ones they fall in love with are their girls. Your father did the minute he saw you.” They both smiled at the memory. It had been a hard Christmas Eve for both of them, but having Josiah there had helped. Everything was easier and more pleasant when he was around.

Arm in arm, they walked up the stairs to their rooms, and they exchanged presents the next day. Her mother had bought her a magnificent fur coat, and Annabelle had gotten her mother a pair of sapphire earrings at Cartier. She had tried to get her the kind of gift her father would have given her, on a slightly more modest scale. He always bought wonderful gifts for all of them. And she wanted to somehow make it up to her mother this year, although she knew that she couldn’t make up for all that they had lost. But her mother was deeply touched by the gesture, and the beauty of her daughter’s gift, and put them on immediately.

They went downstairs together, and had a big breakfast cooked by Blanche. It had snowed during the night, and there was a blanket of white covering the garden. After breakfast, they dressed and went out for a walk in the park. It was going to be difficult for them to fill the day alone. They had lost half of their family, and on holidays like this, the absence of Arthur and Robert was sorely felt.

In the end, the day was less painful than they had feared. They had both dreaded it so much, and had tried to keep busy. Consuelo and Annabelle had lunch together, played cards that afternoon, and by dinnertime they were both tired, and ready for bed. They had gotten through it, that was the main thing, and as she undressed that night, Annabelle found herself thinking of Josiah in Vermont. She wondered if he and Henry had gotten there safely and were having fun. She would have loved to go skiing with them sometime, as he had suggested. It sounded like fun to her. And she hoped she got a chance to, maybe next year, if she could talk her mother into going.

The rest of the holiday was easier than Christmas. Annabelle spent some time with Hortie, and all her friend talked about now was the baby, just as she had talked about nothing but the wedding for six months before. She had little else on her mind or to keep her busy. Consuelo congratulated her when she saw her, and Hortie rattled on for half an hour about Paris, and all the clothes she’d bought, which very soon she would no longer be able to wear. She said they would still go to Newport that summer, and if she had the baby there, it was fine with her. She was going to have it at home anyway, in Newport or New York. Listening to her talk to Consuelo about it, Annabelle felt left out of the conversation. She had nothing to contribute. Hortie had turned into a married woman and mother overnight. But Annabelle still loved her friend, boring or not. Hortie had brought her a beautiful sweater from Paris, with pearl buttons. It was the palest pink, and Annabelle couldn’t wait to wear it that summer.

“I didn’t want to buy you a black one,” Hortie said apologetically. “It’s too grim, and you can wear it pretty soon. I hope that’s all right.”

“I love it!” Annabelle reassured her, and meant it. It had a beautiful lace collar, and it was the subtlest powder pink. It looked wonderful with Annabelle’s skin and hair.

The two young women had lunch together several times that week, and felt very grown-up going to the Astor Court at the St. Regis Hotel. Hortie was taking her new status very seriously, dressed up, wearing the jewelry James had given her, and looked very grand. When they went to lunch, Annabelle wore the new fur coat her mother had given her for Christmas. And she felt a little like she was playing dress-up in her mother’s closet. She was wearing Josiah’s bracelet on her arm.

“Where did you get that?” Hortie asked when she noticed it. “I like it.”

“So do I,” Annabelle said simply. “Josiah Millbank gave it to me for Christmas. It was very nice of him. He gave Mama a scarf.”

“You two looked great together at my wedding.” And then suddenly Hortie’s eyes lit up, as she had an idea. “What about him?”

“What about him?” Annabelle looked blank.

“For you, I mean. You know, as a husband.” Annabelle laughed in response.

“Don’t be stupid, Hort. He’s twice my age. You sound like Mama. I swear, she’d marry me off to the milkman if she could.”

“Is the milkman cute?” Hortie was laughing at the thought.

“No. He’s about a hundred years old and has no teeth.”

“Seriously, why not Josiah? He likes you. He’s always hanging around.”

“We’re just friends. We like it that way. Getting mushy about it would mess everything up.”

“That’s a very nice bracelet to give to just a friend.”

“It’s only a present, not a proposal. He came to dinner on Christmas Eve. It was so sad this year,” she said, changing the subject.

“I know,” Hortie said sympathetically, forgetting about Josiah for the moment. “I’m sorry, Belle, it must be awful.” Annabelle only nodded, and they moved on to other topics, mostly clothes. Hortie couldn’t imagine what she’d wear when she got bigger. She was planning to go to her mother’s dressmaker to figure it out in the next few weeks. She said her waistband was already getting tight, and her corset was killing her. And she swore her breasts had doubled in size.

“Maybe you’re having twins,” Annabelle suggested with a smile.

“Wouldn’t that be funny?” Hortie said, laughing. She couldn’t begin to envision what that entailed, and it was all one big thrill for her right now.

She was a little less thrilled two weeks later, when she started to get nauseous. And for the next two months, she hardly got out of bed. She felt awful. It was the middle of March before she felt decent again. Until then, Annabelle had to visit her, since Hortie wouldn’t go out. Hortie hadn’t been to a party since Christmas, and she wasn’t nearly as delighted with her pregnancy as she’d been before. She felt fat and sick most of the time, and she said it was no fun at all. Annabelle felt sorry for her, and brought her books and flowers, and magazines to look at. It became her main mission in life to cheer Hortie up. And then finally, in April, Hortie got out of bed. She looked obviously pregnant by then, and she was already five months. All the women in her family said it was only one baby, but she was huge, and her mother said it was going to be a boy.

It was Hortie’s only topic of conversation, and most of the time, she just lay there and complained. She said she felt like a whale. And she said that James hardly made love to her anymore, which was really disappointing. He went out with his friends most nights alone, and promised her that when the baby came, they’d make up for it and go out all the time. But her mother reminded her that she’d be nursing then and even if she wasn’t, she’d still have a baby to take care of. So being grown-up didn’t seem like so much fun after all. Annabelle was infinitely patient, listening to her whine and moan, and now Hortie cried all the time too.

Consuelo had planned a service for the anniversary of Arthur and Robert’s deaths that month. It was held at Trinity Church again, with a luncheon afterward at the house. All her father’s close friends were there, and several cousins including Madeleine Astor, whose late husband was Consuelo’s cousin, and Josiah came, of course, as well as everyone from the bank, including Henry Orson.

Josiah had been at the house a lot in recent months, always helpful, always pleasant, always with a joke or a smile, or a little present. He had bought Annabelle a series of medical books, which she loved, and Gray’s Anatomy. Other than Hortie, he had become her best friend in the world, and he was better company now since he wasn’t pregnant, and feeling sorry for himself all the time. Annabelle always had a good time with him, and lately he had started taking her to nice restaurants for dinner. Once the anniversary date was behind them, she was looking forward to going to social events with him. She hadn’t been anywhere, other than Hortie’s wedding, for over a year. Before the sinking of the Titanic, her parents had been gone for two months, and she’d been sick for a month before that, so she hadn’t gone out socially in fifteen months. At her age, that was a long time.

She was turning twenty in May. And two weeks after the church service for her father and brother, Josiah invited her to what promised to be a very fancy dinner at Delmonico’s, where Annabelle had never dined, and she could hardly wait. She bought a new dress for the occasion, and her mother did her hair. Consuelo suspected what was coming, and for both their sakes, she hoped it would go well.

Josiah came to pick her up at seven. He had his own car this time, and the minute he saw Annabelle in the new dress, he whistled. It was a delicately pleated ivory silk that showed off her shoulders, and she was wearing a white silk shawl. It was in sharp contrast to the dismal black she’d been wearing for so long. Her mother was still dressed in mourning and had said that she didn’t feel ready to give it up yet. Annabelle was afraid she never would. But she had been grateful to put her own black dresses away. It was time.

They got to the elegant restaurant at seven-thirty, and were shown to a quiet corner table. It felt so exciting to be out, and to have dinner with Josiah. Even more so than she had with Hortie, she felt terribly grown-up as she sat across the table from him and took off her shawl. She was still wearing the gold bracelet he had given her for Christmas. She never took it off.

The waiter asked her if she’d like a cocktail, and she nervously declined. Her mother had warned her not to have too much to drink, except some wine. It wouldn’t make a good impression, she’d said to her daughter, if Annabelle got drunk at dinner. She had laughed at the prospect and told her mother not to worry. Josiah ordered a scotch and soda, which startled Annabelle. She had never seen him drink hard liquor before, and wondered if he was nervous too, though she couldn’t imagine why, since they were such good friends.

“Would you like some champagne?” he offered when his drink came.

“No, I’m fine,” and then she giggled. “My mother told me not to get drunk and embarrass you.” He laughed too. There was nothing they couldn’t say to each other. They discussed a thousand topics of interest, and they enjoyed each other’s company. They both ordered the restaurant’s famous Lobster Newburg, and Baked Alaska for dessert.

They had a lovely evening with each other, and with dessert, Josiah ordered champagne for both of them. The waiter brought the bottle to the table and opened it for them, and Annabelle smiled as she took a sip. She had only had one glass of wine with dinner, so her mother’s warning had stood her in good stead.

“That’s delicious,” Annabelle commented. He had ordered a particularly fine bottle. Josiah had had more to drink than she had, but he was still sober too. He wanted to keep his wits about him for what he had to say. He had been saving it for a long time, and the day had finally come. He had butterflies in his stomach, as he smiled and toasted her.

“To you, Miss Worthington, and the wonderful friend you’ve become,” he complimented her, and she smiled.

“So have you,” she said gently, taking another sip of champagne. She didn’t have the faintest inkling of what he had in mind. He could see it on her face. She was innocence itself.

“I have a wonderful time with you, Annabelle,” he said simply, and it was true.

“Me too,” she echoed. “We always have a lot of fun.” She started to talk about the medical books he’d given her then, and he gently cut her off, as she looked surprised. He usually let her rattle off for hours about what she’d learned in those books.

“I have something to say to you.” She looked at him blankly, wondering what it was. She hoped nothing was wrong. “I’ve waited a long time to say this. I didn’t think it would be right to say it before April, because of the anniversary. And your birthday is coming up soon. So here we are.”

“Are we celebrating something?” she asked naïvely, feeling a slight buzz from the champagne.

“I hope so,” he said softly. “That depends on you. It’s up to you to decide. What I’ve wanted to tell you since last summer is that I’m in love with you. I don’t mean to upset the applecart of our friendship, or to startle you. But somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you, Annabelle. I think we’re wonderful together, and I can’t stay single forever. I’ve never met a woman who made me want to settle down. But I can’t think of a better foundation for doing that than being best friends, which we are. So I would like to ask you to do me the honor of marrying me, if you will.” As he said the words, he saw Annabelle staring at him in complete amazement. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes were wide.

“Are you serious?” she asked him when she finally caught her breath.

He nodded. “Yes, I am. I know this comes as a surprise to you, and you can think about it if you need to. Annabelle, I’ve been in love with you for a long time.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He couldn’t tell if she was happy or angry. Most of all, she looked shocked.

“I thought I should wait until now.” She nodded. It was proper and made sense. And Josiah always did the right thing. It was one of the things she loved about him. She was still staring at him in disbelief. “Are you upset?” he asked, looking worried, and she shook her head. There were tears in her eyes when she looked at him.

“No, of course not. I’m very touched,” she said, reaching out to take his hand.

“I know I’m a lot older than you are. I could be your father. But I don’t want to be. I want to be your husband, and I promise I’ll take good care of you forever.”

She believed that as she listened to him, and then wondered, “Does my mother know?” It explained her occasional discreet suggestions about Josiah, all of which Annabelle had brushed off.

“I asked her permission in October, and she said yes. I think she believes it would be a good thing for both of us.”

“So do I,” Annabelle whispered with a shy smile. “I just never expected this to happen. I thought we were just friends.”

“We still are,” he replied, smiling too. “And if you accept, we always will be. I think a husband and wife should be best friends, along with everything else. I would like to share children with you, and the rest of my life. And I will always, always be your friend.”

“So would I,” she said, looking misty. And the thought of having children with him shocked her a little, but touched her heart. As she listened to him, she tried not to think about all the antics Hortie had described in Paris. What she shared with Josiah seemed so much more pure. She hated to spoil that. But Hortie had always been a little crazy, and now that she’d discovered sex, she’d gotten worse. The only thing that was slowing her down now was getting fatter day by day.

“Would you like some time to think about it? I know this came as a surprise. I’ve been biting my tongue for a long time.” And then he laughed. “That’s why I had a scotch, and half a bottle of wine tonight, and now champagne. I guess your mother should have warned me not to get drunk. It took a little courage to ask. I wasn’t sure if you’d slug me or say yes.”

“Are those my two choices?” she asked, reaching for his other hand. She was already holding one. “Slug you or say yes?”

“Essentially.” He smiled at her, and squeezed both of her hands in his own.

“It’s simple then. The answer is yes. If I slug you, it would make a terrible mess. They might throw us out of the restaurant. And you might not be my best friend anymore.”

“Yes, I would.” And then he asked her the same question she had inquired of him when he first proposed. “Are you serious?” He was referring to her timid “yes.” It was gentle, but heartfelt.

“Yes, I am. I never thought of us that way before. And whenever my mother suggested it, I thought she was insane. But now that I think about it, there’s no one else on earth I’d want to marry. Except Hortie maybe, but she can be such a pain in the neck. So if I’m going to marry my best friend, I’d rather marry you.” They were both laughing while she explained.

“Have I told you that I love you?” he asked her.

“I think you did. But you can always say it again,” she said primly, with an enchanting little smile.

“I love you, Annabelle.”

“I love you too, Josiah. I love you very, very much. I guess this is the best way to protect our friendship forever.” And then as she said it, he saw her eyes fill with tears, and her lip quiver, and he could see she was upset.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered.

“I wish I could tell Robert and my father. This is the most important thing that’s ever happened to me, and I have no one to tell. My mother already knows. And who will walk me down the aisle?” As she said it, tears rolled down her cheeks.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said gently, as he wiped her tears away with his hand. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. Everything is going to be all right.”

“I know,” she said. She felt absolutely certain that with Josiah she would always be in good hands. Suddenly, it made perfect sense to her, although it never had before. But now it was his idea, and her own, not someone else’s crazy suggestion that made no sense. Now it all did. “When do you want to do it?”

“I don’t know. That’s up to you. I’m at your disposal from today on. We can get married whenever you want.”

“What about in Newport this summer?” she said, looking pensive. “In the garden. That would be less formal than a church.” And there would be no aisle, which was so upsetting to her now. She had no uncles to walk her down the aisle, no one to stand in for her father or brother. There was no one at all. She’d have to walk down the aisle all by herself. “Maybe we could do the actual wedding very small, and have a big party later. With Daddy and Robert gone, it doesn’t feel right to do a big wedding, and I think it would be too hard on my mother. What about Newport in August?”

“Sounds great to me.” He beamed at her. Things were going even better than he’d planned, or dared to hope since last October. “Does that give you enough time to organize a wedding?”

“I think so. I don’t want a wedding like Hortie’s. And she’s the only bridesmaid I want, and she’ll be nine months pregnant.”

“I’d say that sounds more like a matron of honor,” he teased her. They both knew that most people would be shocked to see her out socially in that condition.

“She says she might have the baby in Newport,” Annabelle added.

“Maybe she could have it at the wedding.” He chuckled. He had a feeling that with Annabelle, life was going to be interesting forever.

“Can I still do my volunteer work at the hospital?” Annabelle asked, looking worried.

“You can do anything you want,” he said simply, smiling at her.

“My mother said I’d have to stop when I got married.”

“You don’t have to stop for me, except maybe when you’re expecting. It might be a good idea to give it up for a while then.” She could tell just listening to him that he was going to be reasonable, and always there to protect her. It seemed like the ideal marriage to her, and she couldn’t imagine why she’d never thought of it herself before. She liked everything he said, and always had.

They chatted for a while longer about their plans. His mother had been dead for years, and his father was remarried to a woman Josiah didn’t particularly like, but he thought they should invite them, and his half-sister with her husband. He had two uncles, and a brother. His brother lived in Chicago, and Josiah wasn’t sure if he would come. He said his brother was a little eccentric. So he didn’t think they’d be overrun by his family, and all she had now was her mother, and a wide assortment of distant cousins. She said she’d like to keep it below a hundred, maybe even fifty. And her mother could give them a big party in the city in the fall, which sounded great to him. He liked the idea of keeping their wedding personal and private, as a special moment just for them, and not a cast of thousands. He had never wanted a big wedding, and until now none at all.

“Where do you want to go on our honeymoon?” he asked happily. August was just around the corner.

“Anywhere we don’t have to take a boat to get to. I don’t think I could do that to my mother, and I’m not sure I’d want to either.”

“We’ll figure it out. Maybe California or somewhere in the Rockies. Or Canada, or maybe even Maine. New England is beautiful that time of year.”

“I don’t care where we go, Josiah,” she said honestly, “just so I’m with you.” It was exactly how he felt about her. He signaled for the waiter then and paid the check. Everything had gone perfectly and he had apologized to her for not having a ring yet. He had been nervous about choosing the right one.

He drove her home, and her mother was still up when they got there. Knowing what was happening, she had been too excited to go to sleep. She looked at them expectantly as they came through the door, and they were both beaming.

“Do I have a son-in-law?” she asked in barely more than a whisper.

“You will in August,” Josiah said proudly, with an arm around his brand-new fiancée’s shoulders.

“In Newport,” Annabelle added, smiling ecstatically up at him.

“Oh my Lord, a wedding in Newport in August, with only three months to arrange it. You two don’t fool around, do you?”

“We only want a small wedding, Mama,” Annabelle said softly, and her mother understood why. Hearing that was a great relief to her too.

“You can have anything you want,” she said generously.

“We really only want about fifty or sixty people, a hundred if we have to, in the garden.”

“Your wish is my command,” Consuelo said gamely, wishing she could call the florist and the caterer at that very moment. Instead she walked up to Josiah and hugged him, and kissed her daughter. “I’m so happy for you both. I think you’re going to be very happy.”

“So do we,” they said in unison, and then all three of them laughed. Consuelo insisted on pouring each of them a glass of champagne, and then suddenly Annabelle remembered the day in October she had come home from the hospital to find her mother and Josiah drinking champagne in the garden.

“Did you really get a promotion that day?” Annabelle asked him, as her mother served their champagne.

“No, I got you, or your mother’s permission. I told her I wanted to wait until May to ask you.”

“You sneaky people,” she laughed, as Consuelo toasted them.

“May you be as happy as Arthur and I were, may you live long and happy lives, and have a dozen children.” Both Annabelle and Josiah raised their glasses and took a sip, and then Annabelle reached out to her mother and hugged her tightly. She knew that in some ways this was hard for her too. They all missed her father and brother so much. “I love you, Mama,” Annabelle said softly, as Consuelo held her close.

“I love you too, sweetheart. And I’m so happy for you. And I know that wherever your father and Robert are, they are too.”

Both women wiped their eyes, as Josiah cleared his throat and turned away, so they wouldn’t see that he was crying too. It was truly the happiest night of his life.