Again and Again

Chapter 10

At the faint knock, Caroline dragged herself up from the depths of sleep. Taking note of the pale dawn light, she came fully awake, and a small knot of alarm formed in the pit of her stomach. Why was she being wakened so early? Her teaching duties didn’t begin until nine.

“Come in,” she called out, struggling into a seated position, trying to shake the cobwebs from her brain.

A young servant girl appeared on the threshold. The mistress wants to see you right quick… afore she goes off ahuntin‘. It be all right fer you to come in yourn nightrobe, she said. She be waitin’ for you in her bedroom.“

Caroline’s alarm intensified as the servant relayed her instructions. Surely some crisis was on hand. Thank you, Betsy. Tell Lady Jane I’ll be right down.“ Tossing aside her blankets, she rose from the bed and walked to the small armoire that held her wardrobe. She put on her worn robe with reservations. Hopefully, she’d meet no one in the corridors.

Running a brush through her hair, she tied it with a ribbon at the nape of her neck, slipped her feet into a pair of slippers and reminded herself she’d dealt with crisis before. Compared to losing her family and home, surely this was manageable.

But apprehension followed her as she moved through the corridors to Lady Jane’s bedroom. Had her rendezvous with Simon been discovered?

It required steel nerves to knock on Lady Jane’s door, to enter when she was invited in, to present an appearance of calm.

“Come sit, Caroline.” Jane waved to a chair opposite her at a small table. “And my apologies for waking you so early. But I wanted to speak with you before I left for the hunt. Have some tea.” She began pouring a second cup. The scones are warm.“

Such banality vanquished Caroline’s fear. She moved to the table with lighter spirits.

“Now, then,” Jane said, as Caroline took her seat, “first things first.” She handed her the plate of scones. “It’s Lord Blair.”

Caroline almost dropped the plate, and had not Jane immediately said, “I’ve warned him to stay away from you,” she might have had a mess on her hands. Instead, relieved, she said, “Thank you, ma’am,” took a scone and carefully set the plate down.

“That’s another thing… There’s no need for such formality. Simon mentioned the difficulties of your father’s-er… passing at dinner last night Please, call me Jane, and if I might, I’ll call you Caroline.”

“Yes, of course, I’d like that”

“Good. Perfect. That’s all settled then.”

But her eyes wouldn’t quite meet Caroline’s gaze.

Girding herself for something unpleasant, Caroline said, “Is there more?”

“It’s rather delicate… I mean-it’s probably none of my business, that is… you may have already heard of-” She stopped, her face flushed in embarrassment.

“Please be plain,” Caroline remarked. “I’d prefer it.” If she was going to hear bad news, she’d rather not be kept in suspense.

“I’m afraid, it’s about Lord Blair. And the reason I hesitate is because you may think me interfering in your life and being uncharitable about the duke who is a very dear friend. But regardless,” the countess picked up her teacup and then nervously set it down again, “I must speak my mind. You see, although you both are from the same parish, you may not be fully aware of the duke’s libertine propensities. I wanted to be sure you were advised of them.” Her expression was grave. “He can be quite charming… indeed enormously charming. I wouldn’t wish you hurt should he turn his attention on you. I have, of course, warned him to mind his manners in my household, but I’m afraid he’s very used to doing as he pleases. So…” She fluttered her hands. “I feel very foolish. But I thought you should be cautioned.”

Thank you. I shall take care.“

Jane exhaled. “Then my duty is done. Lord Blair has left more women with broken hearts than any man alive. I’m afraid for all his charm he is quite without true feelings of affection for our gender. His relations with women are in the main purely, er-”

“Physical?”

“Indeed. In fact, he left his latest inamorata vastly stricken when he rode north to visit us. My sister wrote me. All of London is abuzz with the scandal. It seems Lady Blessington informed Lord Blair she was with child and it was his. Lord Blair, who was in bed with her at the time, rose from her bed, bid her good night and left town.”

That was why he was riding north in a storm. “He seems completely lacking in feeling,” Caroline replied, her mouth set in a grim line.

“I’m afraid he assumes no responsibility for anything but his pleasure. In a way, it’s very sad. Lord Blair has much to offer should he care to make the effort” Jane offered Caroline a rueful smile. “You must think me a false friend to speak of him so, but other than his dealings with women, Simon’s the best of men.”

“I understand.” More than you think, Caroline reflected, having experienced Simon’s selfish pursuit of pleasure firsthand. “I thank you for the warning. As a widow, I’ve learned to be wary of charming men. It was kind of you to be concerned.”

“I felt it my duty and now we needn’t discuss such rubbish again.” Jane picked up her teacup and smiled. “I much prefer talking about my children and horses and dogs. You don’t hunt, I suppose.”

“I haven’t for a long time.”

“Would you care to join us,” she grinned, “now that you’re suitably warned?”

Caroline glanced at the freezing drizzle on the window. “No thank you. The warmth of the schoolroom holds more appeal.”

Jane laughed. “Ian and I are quite mad, aren’t we? But we so love the outdoors. It’s impossible to describe our feelings to the uninitiated.”

“Nor should you have to if you’re content.”

“We are. I feel quite fortunate. Now then,” the countess straightened the napkin in her lap, “I’m done with my lecture. You’re excused. Tell the children I’ll see them at tea.”

As Caroline traveled the corridors and mounted the stairs to the nursery floor, all she could think of was how she would word her question concerning Lady Blessington when next she saw Simon. Damn his odious black soul.