Again and Again

Chapter 5

While Simon was scouring the countryside south of Shipton, Caroline was traveling north as quickly as bad roads would allow. Her employers had expected her two days ago and she didn’t dare lose this job. It wasn’t as though there were dozens of governess positions that paid this well, nor were there many conveniently located at the proverbial ends of the earth. Her employers’ proximity to the Scottish border appealed to her need for seclusion.

As she neared her destination, Netherton Castle came into view. Perched on the heights above a north branch of the River Tyne, its crenellated silhouette was visible from afar. One of the early border fortresses built by England to keep the northern marauders at bay, the fort had been added to and improved upon over the centuries, the latest Palladian wing pale against the sky. But the sprawling structure was still predominantly medieval: gray, massive, built for defense, its dark shadow casting the valley below in shade.

At close range, Caroline was awed by the immensity of history that had transpired inside and without its walls. She surveyed the great pile of granite with wonder as her carriage clattered over the drawbridge, rolled over the cobblestoned court, and came to rest before an enormous door crisscrossed with great iron bars designed to keep out an enemy. Stepping down from the carriage, she gazed at the family motto carved over the formidable door: HE SHALL RULE THEM WITH A ROD OF IRON.

Harsh, unwelcoming words.

Struck by a sudden chill, she wondered if she could really do this-become a governess… assume a subservient position… give up the freedoms she so dearly craved. Maybe she should take Simon’s two hundred pounds and flee back to the Continent where no one knew her-where she could at least live an independent life, albeit in the demimonde. Taking herself to task a second later, she reminded herself there would be time enough to run should her employment prove untenable.

Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders, moved toward the imposing door and reached for the knocker.

The Countess of Netherton was in a small sitting room, writing at a white and gilt desk when Caroline was shown in. She immediately smiled, rose to her feet and hurried forward, holding out her hand. “Do come in. May I call you Caroline? We’re quite informal out here in the wilds. Thornton, have tea brought up.” She took in Caroline’s paleness. “You look chilled to the bone. The weather’s been dreadful, hasn’t it? Come,” she drew Caroline forward. “Sit by the fire.”

Within moments, Caroline was put at ease, her new employer so genuinely kind the tightness in her shoulders melted away. Tall and fair, Lady Carlisle was dressed in a scarlet wool gown without ornament, her hair, fashionably short and curled, her smile quite capable of renewing a cynic’s faith in humanity. They spoke of the weather and the state of the roads, of the castle’s history and antecedents, of children in a general way and in short order, Caroline was feeling as though her new position was going to prove agreeable.

Tea arrived as Lady Jane was describing her two children in the glowing phrases of a doting mother. “You’ll meet the little darlings later,” she said with a teasing smile. “Hugh and Joanna are out riding with their father. Since it warmed up slightly today, Ian agreed to take them to the village for sticky buns. It’s not as though our cook can’t bake sticky buns, but you know how much better they taste when you’re away from home.”

“I understand. My father and I would ride to our village for cream cakes,” Caroline said. The pleasure as a child is out of all proportion to the simple treat.“

“Isn’t it just… although Ian and the children enjoy each other’s company most, I think.”

“I know the feeling.” Caroline went silent, her childhood made perfect by a father who adored her, his loss like a wound that wouldn’t heal.

“You said in your letter, your parents are gone.” Lady Jane’s tone was sympathetic.

Caroline forced her thoughts to the present. “My mother died when I was very young so I don’t remember her well.” How often had she uttered that phrase; it never got easier. “My father has been gone five years now.”

“I’m sorry. My parents too are no longer with me. I understand how difficult it can be.”

Caroline smile was strained. “One must make do.”

“Yes, of course.” Jane leaned over to pat Caroline’s hand. “The passage of time helps, I’ve found, and keeping busy is an additional antidote. Tell me of your life abroad,” she added, diplomatically changing the subject. “Your letter mentioned you’d been living in France.”

“I was married to a French émigré. He died a few months ago.” Divorce was often perceived as scandalous. Caroline chose caution.

“My condolences. Do you have other family?”

Caroline shook her head, suddenly unable to speak as a great rush of loneliness washed over her.

“How awful for you. Perhaps I could give you some of my eight brothers and sisters-please, I beg of you, take them,” Jane said with a grin. “They all live in the neighborhood and are constantly underfoot”

Jane’s attempt at levity served its purpose and Caroline smiled. “I look forward to meeting them.”

“You won’t be so gracious once you do. My sisters love to give orders and my brothers speak of nothing but their hunting dogs and horses.” She chuckled. “I’m afraid, it’s an instance of the pot calling the kettle black-but nevertheless, they are a trial on occasion. I’m the youngest, you see.”

Caroline lifted her brows. “And always in need of their advice, they no doubt presume.”

“So they contend.” Jane shrugged and smiled. “I have quite a different opinion, of course.”

“It sounds as though you have a busy household. I look forward to the distractions.”

“Good. Perhaps we can help ease your loneliness. As for your duties, you needn’t be apprehensive. I don’t expect my children to be serious students. Neither Ian nor I are bookish. Our interests are almost exclusively horses and hunting,” she added. “The countryside is perfect for coursing… and very beautiful.” Jane waved her hand in a deprecating gesture. “Not so much now as in the warmer months. Should you like to ride, we have a good stable. Feel free to take your pick of the mounts,” she offered.

“Thank you. I do like to ride.” Caroline almost said, I used to hunt with the Beaufort Hunt.

“We’ll see that you’re set up then. Do you have any requirements in terms of books and supplies for the schoolroom? I must say, your education is splendid-intimidating as a matter of fact; you speak six languages. How very impressive,” Jane said with a casual politesse; most of the aristocracy had little interest in education. “Your recommendation by the Duchesse of Montclair was impressive as well.”

The duchesse was extremely kind. She’s a distant relative of my poor departed husband.“ Caroline inwardly cringed at her fabrications, but she needed privacy and hermitage right now-somewhere far from London and the ton where she could take stock of her options. And additionally, since Shipton, somewhere Simon couldn’t find her.

“I have a feeling we’re going to muddle along famously,” Jane observed, brightly. “Please, have more cakes and jam. You’ve hardly eaten a thing. Let me freshen up your tea,” she declared, reaching for the teapot. “I can’t wait until Ian and the children meet you. They’re going to love you!”