Angel Fever

39

WE SAT IN SILENCE. I kept glancing down the hallway, worried about Seb – wishing I was able to send my angel to see what was going on.

The room was full of dazed, weary-looking people. I saw a woman in the corner clutching a Church of Angels pendant and crying silently, tears streaming down her face. Pressing my fingers against my head, I hoped I’d done the right thing – that humanity would find its way forward.

Nina was flicking through a magazine called Eden Now. Alex frowned up at the TV that hung from the wall. Bizarrely, an old episode of Cheers was playing.

“Nothing on the news yet,” he said finally, almost to himself.

I shook my head. “No. I guess it’ll take time for people to organize themselves.”

Our gaze met; my cheeks heated and I glanced away. Alex had been keeping his distance from me for hours now. I knew he thought this was what I wanted…only I wasn’t sure if it was any more.

Mom, I’m so confused, I thought miserably.

Even without looking at Alex, I was so aware of him: the curve of his dark eyebrows, the sense of easy strength as he leaned back in his chair. All I wanted was to sit beside him and feel him put his arm around me. But it didn’t make any sense. How could my anger have just evaporated?

But you know why, piped up a tiny voice inside me.

I went very still as those minutes at the willow tree rushed back in vivid detail…and now I was able to take it all in. When I’d clung tight to Alex’s grounding energy, I’d seen him with so much clarity, right down to his soul. Leaving me when he’d thought he was going to die had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. His decision hadn’t been perfect, not by a long shot. But he’d done the best he could.

I sat frozen in my seat, recalling how I’d touched every person on the planet: explored the rich tapestry of all their frailties, hopes, strengths…their humanity.

Oh, god, of course I could forgive Alex – I already had. After seeing all that, how could I not forgive someone who’d struggled with such a terrible choice, and would now give anything – anything – if he could somehow change the outcome?

Especially when I loved him so much it hurt?

Suddenly my eyes were full of tears. Alex wasn’t looking at me; he was staring at the TV with the thoughtful frown I knew so well. Why was there a coffee table between us? Why were we in a waiting room full of people?

I cleared my throat. “Alex, um—”

Before I could ask if he’d step outside with me for a second, a doctor came into the room. “Are you with Sebastián Carrera?” she asked, crouching in front of us.

She’d pronounced his name wrong; I hardly noticed. Nodding, I sat up straight and gripped Nina’s hand.

“He’s okay,” she said.

I let out a shivering breath. Across from me, Alex had closed his eyes in relief, shoulders slumping.

The doctor’s expression held a deep sadness of her own, but her tone was compassionate. “He’s got a bad concussion and a few broken ribs. We’ll need to keep him overnight for observation. But his X-rays are clear, no internal cranial pressure. He’s going to be fine.”

Remembering how Seb had asked for Meghan, I had a sudden feeling that fine was relative. My half-angel awareness of him had lessened, but I could still sense his despair, and my chest tightened.

“Can I see him?” I asked.

The doctor looked at her watch.

“Please? I’m his sister.”

It didn’t even feel like a lie. The doctor nodded. “Just you, then, and only for a few minutes – he needs to rest.”

As I got up, my eyes met Alex’s. “Tell him I said hi,” he said quietly. “And that I’m glad he’s okay.”

I nodded, feeling choked by everything I wanted to say to Alex, but this wasn’t the time. I hurried after the doctor. “I won’t be long,” I said over my shoulder.

The doctor led me down a maze of corridors, then stopped in front of a door. “He’s in here – I’ll be back in five minutes.” Her gaze widened as she studied me. “Wait. Aren’t you—?”

I shook my head. “No,” I said softly. “I just look like her.”

When I pushed open the door, I found Seb lying in a bed with crisp sheets, his bruises worse than before; harsh black stitches slashed diagonally through his left eyebrow.

I sat on the bed beside him and reached for his hand. “Hi,” I whispered.

Wincing, Seb turned his head on the pillow to look at me. He tried to smile, but the look in his hazel eyes was breaking my heart.

“You were right,” he said.

I didn’t have to ask. I squeezed his hand tightly between both of mine. “I know.”

Neither of us spoke for a long moment, and then Seb let out a breath. “We defeated the angels, yes? I can feel it.”

“Yes, we did it. They’re really gone now – for ever.”

He sagged against the bedclothes and closed his eyes. “That’s good,” he whispered. “Oh, that’s so good.”

I stroked his curls from his forehead. “Alex says hi,” I added.

Seb smiled faintly, but I could feel his mind wasn’t on it. “Willow, what am I going to do?”

“You mean about Meghan?”

His fingers gripped mine restlessly. “How is it possible for a man to be this stupid, querida – how?”

“Shh, you need to rest. Seb, it’ll be okay.”

He gave a shattered laugh. “Really? When we broke up, do you know what she said? That she’d wanted to tell me she loved me for so long…but never had, because she knew I wouldn’t say it too.”

Holding onto Seb’s hand, I got a faint flash of Meghan sitting on Seb’s bed, her blue eyes anguished. I’m sorry, Seb. I just can’t do it any more.

“And I just sat there. I told her that, yes, I understood, I didn’t want her to be unhappy – and all I could think was, Meggie, please don’t do this…” Seb’s voice faltered.

“But you know how you feel about her now! She’ll see that; she’ll realize.”

He shook his head, closing his eyes again. “No,” he said dully. “I don’t think so.”

Time for a change of subject. I cleared my throat, looking down at our hands. “Seb, listen. When I was manipulating the energy, it was like I had this incredible rush of knowledge, about every living thing. And…I found out more about half-angels.”

His eyes flew open. “Really?” he said after a pause.

I nodded – and told him what I’d seen. Altogether, there’d been maybe a dozen half-angels throughout time; I’d sensed it in people’s genes. But Seb and I had been the only ones for centuries. And I had a feeling we were the only ones ever who’d been aware of our angels.

As I spoke, I tried not to think about that other part of myself, broken inside of me. Especially as I told Seb the rest: angels weren’t supposed to be able to breed with humans at all, but in a few cases of extreme angel burn, the human’s system had morphed slightly, becoming receptive.

Seb and I existed solely because our mothers had been so severely damaged by our fathers.

Now it seemed like Seb’s hand was comforting me, instead of the other way around. “This doesn’t change anything, not really,” he said after a pause. “Neither of us thought we were here because of some great love affair.”

I nodded, throat tight.

Then Seb’s forehead creased. “You feel different,” he said suddenly.

Before I could answer, I sensed his angel reaching out for mine, and I winced and ducked my head. I hadn’t wanted Seb to know yet, but of course I couldn’t hide it from him.

I sat very still. As his angel touched my own, I felt him realize. He didn’t speak. When I lifted my head, his eyes were bright with tears. Softly, his angel slipped inside of me, finding and cradling that wounded part of me.

Oh god, the look on his face… “I’m all right,” I whispered hoarsely. “Seb, I promise you, I’m all right. Don’t you see? I still have my angel, inside me. And I’m alive. And so are you and Alex – I have everything that matters.”

I clutched his hand. “Please listen to me: you have got to tell Meghan how you feel. You love her – and you tried your best the whole time, and she knows that. She’ll forgive you.” I managed a lopsided smile. “Trust me, okay? I kind of know what I’m talking about on this one.”

I saw hope battle disbelief in Seb’s eyes. “Maybe you’re right,” he said finally.

“I am.”

He smiled slightly then. “You often are,” he said. “It’s very irritating.”

The doctor eased open the door. “Time’s up,” she said.

I bent and kissed his stubbled cheek. “I’ll be back tomorrow when they discharge you, okay?” I lowered my voice. “And by the way, I told her I’m your sister.”

He was already half asleep, his stitches stark against his eyebrow. “Then you were right again,” he murmured. “Because that’s what you are.”