Anything but Love

TEN

“Wow.” Rocky Monroe leaned against the doorjamb and blatantly stared.

Rae bristled. She’d been in town less than twenty-four hours and she was already over the gawking and whispering. She was tired and hungry and emotionally spent from two rounds with Luke in one day. She’d waited until he’d pulled out of the drive before knocking on the door. She’d counted to ten while collecting her wits. Wits Rocky had scattered with a simple “Wow.”

Forcing what she hoped was a friendly smile, Rae summoned patience while dragging her fingers through her choppy locks. “The color and cut are extreme, I know. That’s what happens when you tell a stylist you want something drastically different and give them carte blanche.”

“And I thought I was being adventurous when I let Jayce cut my bangs. Maybe I should spice things up and get a makeover.”

“You don’t need a makeover, Rocky.” Rae was pretty sure Jayce and every other man in Sugar Creek would agree. Rocky was a natural stunner. She typically plaited her long golden curls into two braids or pulled them into a high ponytail—simple styles that suited her down-to-earth personality and athletic lifestyle. Instead of chasing trends, she opted for T-shirts and jeans and sneakers or clogs. Even with no more than tinted lip balm, Luke’s sister was Hollywood gorgeous. Olivia, who compared all people to movie stars, would dub Rocky the Scarlett Johansson of Sugar Creek. “Besides, you wouldn’t want to do anything drastic so close to your wedding day. Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thanks.”

A frigid wind cut though Rae’s weary bones. Frowning, she hunched her shoulders and shook off a chill. “Mind if I come inside?”

“Sorry. To think I used to work in hospitality.” Rocky stepped back and waved Rae inside. “Give me your coat. Would you like some tea, coffee, wine?”

“I’m good.” The sooner they got this meeting over with the better. Rae was feeling more lightheaded by the minute. Skipping lunch hadn’t been smart, plus she was already drained from a full and emotionally awkward day. “Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice.”

“I confess I’m curious.” Rocky draped Rae’s coat on an antique coat tree then turned. “About a lot of things.”

Rae wasn’t surprised by Rocky’s wary tone and expression, but she was disappointed. Rocky, like her grandmother, Daisy, had always treated Rae to a smile and an abundance of good will. A small, no, a big part of Rae had hoped her written apology had smoothed any ruffled feathers regarding her abrupt departure from Sugar Creek. Just now, Rocky looked pretty ruffled.

“Where’s your dog?” Rae asked as they moved into the warm and cozy living room. An appearance from that furry bundle of joy might help ease the tension.

“Brewster’s had cabin fever lately, what with all the snow. Jayce had business in Pixley so he took Brewster with him. Good thing,” Rocky said while inviting Rae to take a seat. “I wouldn’t want fur-boy getting hair all over your nice clothes.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Rae said, ignoring the light jab at her stylish attire. She’d dressed to impress for a reason, although maybe that hadn’t been the best idea.

Rocky dropped into an opposing matching chair. She shook her head. “I can’t get over how much you’ve changed.”

“Only on the outside. Speaking of change,” Rae said, bulldozing forward, “Sam told me about the fire and how you lost everything. I’m so sorry, Rocky. I know how much you loved the Red Clover.”

“I’ve come to terms.” Her clipped response indicated she wasn’t going down that personal road. “You’ve seen Sam?”

Clearly the spotlight was on Rae. “He called me a couple of weeks ago. We’ve talked a few times since. He was also nice enough to pick me up at the airport last night.”

“I spoke to Sam earlier today. He didn’t mention—”

“I asked him not to. I wanted to settle in and get my bearings before letting anyone know I was back in town.”

“Were those Sam’s taillights I saw heading out when I opened the door?”

“Actually Luke was kind enough to give me a lift tonight.”

“So you’ve already seen Luke, too. Huh.”

It was all Rae could do to maintain eye contact with Rocky. Luke’s sister. Her baby’s aunt. How would she feel when she saw Daisy or, God, Luke’s older and slightly intimidating brother, Dev? Sam had also mentioned that Luke’s parents would be back in town for Rocky’s wedding. The Monroes were the most influential family in Sugar Creek aside from the Burkes. Although, also according to Sam, the former town mayor—Randall Burke—had recently moved away, taking his wife and former Cupcake Lover, Tasha, along. Rae had only been away three months, yet so much had changed. Everything had changed.

Okay, maybe not everything.

Even though this was now technically Rocky’s house, it still looked like Daisy’s home. The Cupcake Lovers met every Thursday and many of those Thursdays they’d gathered right here. Daisy might have moved out but she’d left all her furniture behind. Rae tried to take comfort in the familiar surroundings, but there was no comfort to be had. She was as good as a stranger to Rocky and everyone else in Sugar Creek. Like any stranger, she’d have to earn their trust and respect.

“Are you all right?”

Rae blinked.

“You look pale.”

“Jet lagged.”

“Ah.” Rocky pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead then sighed. “I have to tell you, I thought I was more sympathetic to your plight—whatever that is. I didn’t think I’d feel this—”

“Betrayed?”

“We all got the letter you sent—thank you for that—but you didn’t suggest we’d ever see you again. In fact, that letter read to me like an official good-bye.”

“It was.”

“So why are you back?” Rocky asked plainly. “Why did you leave in the first place? Why did you pretend—”

“Personal issues were at play. I wanted to escape certain pressures. I wanted … I needed to be someone other than me for a while. I never meant to hurt anyone.”

“So you said in your letter. But just now all I can focus on is that you played us for chumps for a year. Was any part of Rachel Lacey real?”

“All I lied about was my name and background. I don’t expect you to believe me, but, aside from the money aspect, Rachel and I are one in the same. I’m quiet. I’m guarded. I have a brother, although he is a stepbrother, serving overseas in the marines. The son of my mother’s second husband. We’re quite close. I’m also certified to work with children. That’s part of the reason I’m back. I heard about the closing of Sugar Tots. Whether anyone believes it or not, I loved working there. Working with the children. I miss them and…”

Rae massaged her throbbing temples, stunned that she was babbling but unable to stop. “Every town should have access to affordable, high quality day care. A safe and developmentally appropriate environment for preschool and school-age children. An establishment staffed with nurturing professionals who promote education and each child’s social, emotional, and cognitive development. Gretchen’s heart was never in the right place,” Rae plowed on. “She cared more about advancing her personal goals than investing energy into the children’s programs. Honestly, I’m glad she’s gone. Although I’m sorry she closed the doors. I’m here for those children and for their parents. I’m here to make a difference. I’m qualified and emotionally invested and—”

“Okay. Okay.” Rocky held up her hands. “Slow down. Damn. I never knew you were so passionate.”

“That’s because I suppressed my feelings and opinions while living here.” Rae blew out a breath, lowered her voice. “Who am I kidding? I’ve been suppressing my feelings and opinions for most of my life no matter where I lived. It’s safer that way. I’m learning, however, that some things are worth fighting for. Like Sugar Tots and the Cupcake Lovers and…” She palmed her queasy stomach.

“And what?” Rocky shifted to the edge of her seat.

Rae tensed. She was dangerously out of sorts—in mind and body. She reached into her purse in search of her phone. “I’m sorry, Rocky. I’m not feeling well. The jet-lag thing,” she lied. “Excuse me while I call a cab. I’ll share my idea regarding the Cupcake Lovers while I wait.”

“No need for a cab.” Rocky shoved out of the chair. “I’ll drive you.”

“I don’t want to put you out.”

“You’re not. Come on. You can tell me your idea in the car. You’re staying at the Pine and Periwinkle, right?”

“Yes. Thank you.” Rae followed Rocky into the hall, feeling weary and embarrassed. She’d taken on too much for one day, her first day. A fortifying meal and a good night’s sleep would work wonders. An ally in the Monroe camp would also help. “I don’t know how long I’ll be in town,” Rae said as they pulled on their coats. “I might even … There’s a chance I might move back for good.”

Rocky raised one brow while looping a scarf around her neck. “Aside from Sugar Tots and the Cupcake Lovers … does this move have anything to do with Sam?”

“No.”

“Luke?”

For the first time this day, Rae pulled a Rachel and averted her gaze. “It’s complicated.”

“Mmm.” Rocky opened the door then paused and turned. “Are you and my brother involved in some way? Did he come on to you when you worked at the Shack? Is that why you blew out of town? Things have been tense between Sam and Luke and I wondered…”

Rae flushed and she knew in that moment that she’d verified Rocky’s suspicions.

The woman sighed. “I love Luke, but you do know he’s a player, right?”

“We’re not involved.”

“Then why do I sense trouble?” Rocky waited a tense full minute then grunted and ventured outside.

Rae followed and climbed into her jeep. She had no intention of confiding all in this woman. Not yet. But she was desperate to strike some sort of truce. “Can I ask you something? Was it easy for you and Jayce?”

“God, no.”

“But worth the fight?”

“At the risk of encouraging you, worth every battle scar.” Rocky keyed the ignition and cranked the heat. “The thing is, Rae, we were in love. We’d been in love for years. Are you saying you’re in love with Luke? I mean, I get it. Women fall for his boyish charm all the time. And Luke, Christ, if you ask him he’ll tell you he’s been in love a hundred times.”

Rocky wasn’t telling Rae anything she didn’t already know. And she didn’t have any illusions where Luke’s feelings were concerned. Her own feelings, however, were a bit of an enigma.

“Sam probably wouldn’t appreciate me saying,” Rocky said, “but I’m pretty sure he’s still carrying a torch for you.”

“I told Sam I don’t feel that way about him.”

“That doesn’t negate his feelings. You’re the first woman he’s expressed any interest in at all since Paula,” Rocky went on. “I don’t have to tell you what a good man Sam is. If you’re attracted to my brother, you should tell Sam. Please don’t let this thing blindside him.”

Rae rubbed an ache in her chest. It seemed pointless to deny what she’d already hinted at. “I’ve been … infatuated with Luke for a long time. It’s a mess and I’m not sure it can be fixed, but you’re right, I should let Sam know my heart is elsewhere.”

“With Luke.” Rocky sighed. “You could have any guy in the world…” she said as she backed out of the drive.

Rae smirked. “Because I’m rich?”

“And beautiful.”

“Believe it or not, that’s not always a blessed combination.”

“You’re also smart and kind.”

Rae cut her a glance.

“Like you said, you’ve only changed on the outside.” Rocky smiled a little, the way she used to smile at Rachel. “Just took me a minute to get that.”