Anything but Love

NINETEEN

“In addition to toddler and preschool programs, I’m toying with the idea of enrichment programs for ages five through ten,” Rae said. “Supplemental educational opportunities that complement the elementary school’s core curriculum. Most classrooms are overcrowded these days and some children need extra help. I could—”

“You could what?”

Rae looked away from the locked doors of Sugar Tots to the man sitting next to her. On their way to J. T. Monroe’s Department Store, Luke had pulled into the small parking lot of Sugar Tots. He’d invited her to share her plans for reopening the day care center. He’d been the first to ask and apparently she was dying to voice her aspirations because, she realized now, she’d been rambling nonstop for several minutes. “I could help.” A flush crept up her neck to her cheeks. “I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I have a gift with children and head for education. Special techniques to make learning fun. I have all these ideas—”

“What kind of ideas?”

Rae fussed with her seat belt, angled away the heating vent, and checked her watch. They’d been idling in Luke’s car, in front of Sugar Tots for twenty minutes. It felt like a blip and a lifetime rolled into one.

“Why are you so shy about sharing your vision?” Luke asked.

“I’m not shy. I could talk about my vision for Sugar Tots for hours.”

“So?”

“I’ve been rambling. You’re probably bored to tears and too polite to say.”

“If I was bored I wouldn’t prod you to share more.” He cocked his head. “How did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Bottle up all that passion and knowledge when you were working here under Gretchen?”

Rae shrugged. “It leaked out sometimes, but she didn’t want to hear it. She was set in her ways.”

“And not half as committed to the children of this town as you are. She threw in the towel and you’re not only picking up the pieces, but raising the bar.” He narrowed his eyes. “How is it you’re not already established as a teacher somewhere else?”

“Jobs are hard to come by.”

“Surely not for someone as smart and influential—”

“You mean rich. I wasn’t rich before. Not personally.”

“But now you are.”

“The thing about being smart and influential is that there’s always someone smarter and more influential than you. And if that person wants to derail your life well then you’re sort of screwed.” Rae cursed the words as soon as they left her mouth. What was wrong with her? She’d never been so forthright. When she was younger, yes, but not for a long time. Not after learning how people twisted her words. Not after enduring disappointment, humiliation, and betrayal on multiple counts.

“Who wants to derail your life, Rae?”

“No one. Forget I said anything.”

“Your mom? Geoffrey?”

Rae blinked.

“I’d have to be an idiot not to notice the tension between you and those two when I was at your house—”

“Their house.”

“Factor in your unwillingness to raise your child anywhere near them? I’m sensing bad blood.”

“We don’t get along, that’s for sure. Can we go now?” She wasn’t ready for this conversation. She didn’t want to think about her mom or Geoffrey, let alone talk about the misery they’d inflicted. But even as she pushed away the memories, anger and panic tripped her pulse.

Luke shifted into reverse. “Whatever it is—”

“It isn’t anything.” Rae massaged her aching chest. Could a person’s heart burst through their rib cage?

Luke cast her an enigmatic glance then focused on the road. “Okay.”

She nodded, swallowed. Told herself to chill. Her mother had dashed any hope of ever forming a genuine, caring bond. She’d chosen that bastard Geoffrey over her only daughter, and Geoffrey.… Even though Rae hadn’t divulged details regarding his betrayal, the man had retaliated against Rae nonetheless. Retaliated and refreshed his threat. In turn, Rae had chosen a new life. This life. If only they’d leave her alone. She glanced at her cell, noting another text from the woman who’d given her life and little else.

JUST LET ME KNOW U R OK

As if Olivia really cared. What she cared about was the money Rae had promised her—an emergency fund should she ever find herself unwed for longer than two years. Unwed and broke. Like that would ever happen. If Geoffrey ever cut Olivia loose, she’d just latch onto another tycoon. Money and men—her drug of choice. Along with attention. Still … the aging pseudocelebrity was probably just logical enough to want a back-up plan—namely access to her daughter’s inheritance.

Chest tight, Rae thumbed a response.

DON’T WORRY. WON’T CUT U OFF.

Not financially. But emotionally …

Severing that tie was crucial, otherwise Rae would forever mourn their wretched relationship.

She stared at the screen, dreading a reply. None came. Apparently she’d calmed Olivia’s concern and that was that. For now. Disgusted, Rae tossed her cell in her purse.

“Everything okay?” Luke asked.

Rae forced a smile. “It will be.” She scrambled to divert the conversation.

Luke beat her to it. “Join me tonight,” he said as he pulled into a private side lot of J.T.’s.

“For what?”

“Dinner,” he said as he pocketed his keys. “Rocky’s house, formerly Daisy’s house. Our traditional weekly dinner. Although Chloe will be cooking. New tradition.”

Thud. Thud. “Thank you, but no.”

“Why not?”

“It’s a family dinner.”

“Family and friends. Different guests every week, depending on who can make it. Monica and Leo will be there, if it makes you feel any better.”

It didn’t. A family and friends—close friends—dinner with the Monroes? It was too much, too soon. Too intimate.

“Daisy will be there, too,” Luke added. “Chloe. Rocky. Aside from my sister you haven’t met up with any of the Cupcake Lovers since you returned, right?”

“Just Sam.”

“Right. Anyway it might make things easier, more comfortable, if you reconnected on a personal level with some of the members instead of stepping in cold at Thursday’s meeting.”

It made sense, but she still wasn’t convinced. “Speaking of Sam, will he be there?”

“I’m not sure. Even if he is…” Luke shrugged. “Maybe it would help to have the family as a buffer. Plus, I’ve never brought a girl to Sunday dinner, Rae. If I bring you along, Sam will know I’m serious. About you. Us. Everyone will know.”

“Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“Hell, no.”

She laughed at that. At his casual honesty. For some reason it made her feel better to know Luke was still wary of their new liaison. Otherwise she’d question the wisdom of this whirlwind commitment even more than she already did. “Okay. I’ll come. In for a penny, in for a pound.” As nervous as she was about this family dinner, Luke had made some good points.

His mouth twitched. “You sure?”

“Hell, no.”

He smiled full out then cupped the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss.

It was slow and deep and sweet, causing Rae’s body to hum with memories of their lovemaking a few hours before. Aside from the sheer physical pleasure, Luke had intensified the moment by admitting that he hadn’t been with another woman since their tumble in Bel Air.

“Since you.”

Since December.

She didn’t want to read into that, but it weighed on her mind.

He’d flown all the way across the country on Christmas Eve to confront her and he’d come home affected. The fact that he’d been celibate since spoke volumes. That he’d asked her to be his girl, that he’d suggested an exclusive relationship, had intimated even more.

Rae had no illusions. This wouldn’t be easy. But maybe, just maybe, she and Luke were meant to be. Maybe the happily ever after she’d always dreamed of—a kind and caring husband, children of her own, and a down-to-earth existence—was within her grasp.

Framing Luke’s handsome face, Rae deepened the kiss while mentally stripping away one layer of her massively shielded heart.

Yes, she was opening herself up for hurt, but she was a warrior and her dream was worth fighting for.

Luke was buzzed.

On a kiss.

He practically floated through the side entrance of J.T.’s.

Yeah, boy, this was bad.

He’d told himself he was going to take this thing with Rae slow, that he was acting in a logical and responsible way. Considering he didn’t want her seeing any other guy, he owed her an exclusive. Considering he wanted to take an active role in his child’s life, it made sense to explore their physical attraction. If they were compatible, if it evolved into a matter of the heart, then he’d cross that bridge when he came to it.

He kept reminding himself of the complications—her fortune, her secrets, her inability to trust, and her penchant to run from her problems. That damned stipulation of hers ate at him.

“If even one of us is unhappy in this exclusive relationship … It only takes one to end it.”

What about talking through the problem, sorting things out? If every couple split up just because one or the other had an issue, marriage would be obsolete. His parents had had their fair share of problems over the years, his grandparents, too, both sets. When the going got tough they toughed it out, worked it out. Granted, Luke had been in and out of a hundred relationships, but every one of those relationships had been casual. No strings attached. No expectations. Great sex and good times. Companionship.

Period.

Now that he’d committed to Rae, Luke was inspired to give it his best shot and beyond. It was in his blood. As was wanting what was best for his child. If that meant making some sacrifices or going the extra mile then, dammit, he’d do whatever it took.

He knew just where to start.

“You know your way around the store,” he said to Rae as they neared the old-fashioned candy counter. “Mind if I swing off for a few minutes? I need a word with Dev.”

His big brother had been the acting COO of the family department store ever since their dad had “retired” to Florida. As a workaholic, Dev used to practically live here. Things were different now that Chloe was in his life, but Luke knew Dev was here this morning because of the voice mail Dev had left on Luke’s cell the night before.

“You’re not going to tell him about the … you know,” Rae whispered. “Are you?”

“That’s not my intention, no. This is about something else. Business,” Luke clarified to ease her mind. “Although we can’t keep you know secret forever.”

“Just until I’m further along.”

Luke remembered what she’d said about the potential for miscarrying in the first trimester and made a mental note to bone up on pregnancy. He wanted to know what Rae was experiencing and what to expect. He wondered if they had audiobooks on the subject at the library. He’d just tell Monica or the other librarians that he was curious because of Chloe. Nothing suspicious about expressing interest in what his brother and future sister-in-law were going through, right?

He smoothed Rae’s shaggy bangs from her eyes and smiled. “Be warned. I’m going to spoil you know rotten.”

“Genuine affection would be preferable over toys,” Rae said in an odd tone.

As if he wouldn’t naturally love his own child? How the hell had her concept on family gotten so mangled? Chest tight, Luke pulled Rae into his arms, right in the middle of the aisle, in between the assorted “moose” souvenirs and the table stacked high with assorted Valentine’s chocolates. Well aware that he’d attracted the attention of a couple of patrons plus scattered employees, all of whom he knew, Luke lowered his head and spoke soft and close to Rae’s ear. “No one’s going to love this baby more than me. Except maybe you.”

Feeling the tension in her body, he met her gaze, troubled by the tears shimmering in her eyes.

“The store’s only open until noon,” she said as if Luke wasn’t well aware. “I should get my shopping done. And your brother, he’ll be wanting to leave soon so you should go. I’ll be around,” she said, flailing her hand left then right. “Somewhere. Find me when you’re done.”

He watched her disappear into the women’s section. “Well, hell.” Instead of lingering and wondering what he’d said wrong, Luke hightailed it upstairs. His brother worked out of the same office as every other senior Monroe who’d once been at the helm of J. T. Monroe’s Department Store—family owned and operated for six generations.

With every step, Luke thought about all Dev had accomplished in his thirty-five years. In addition to running the department store, the man had multiple business interests. Most recently he’d established his own investment firm, specializing in strategic financial planning. Which sort of put him in to the “making people’s dreams come true” biz. Hard to top that.

Their sister Rocky, the youngest of the Monroe siblings, had purchased a bed-and-breakfast in her early twenties, and though it had been a money pit, she’d run it on her own until it had burned to the ground. Now she’d launched a budding interior-decorating boutique.

Luke hit the second floor thinking about how his siblings and most all of his adult cousins owned and operated their own businesses. Luke was the face and heart of the Sugar Shack, but he wasn’t the brains. It hadn’t bothered him before, now it did.

“Why is it that no one knocks anymore?” Dev asked as Luke slipped inside the office that brimmed with gleaming wood and childhood memories.

Luke shrugged. “Door wasn’t closed all the way.”

“A courtesy knock would be nice.”

“I’ll remember that next time.”

“No you won’t.”

“Probably not.” Luke flopped into the chair across from Dev’s desk. “What would it cost to buy you out?”

Dev turned away from his computer, brow raised. “Come again.”

“I want sole ownership of the Shack.”

“Why?”

“Don’t you have your fingers in enough pies?” Luke asked.

“Are you pissed at me because I gave you the riot act regarding last month’s budget?”

“No, I’m pissed at myself for exceeding last month’s budget. I need to pay better attention to the financial aspect. Need to exercise better judgment. I’ve spent too many years focused on the hospitality angle when I should’ve have been crunching numbers. Or at least learning to crunch numbers.”

Dev grunted. “You hate numbers.”

“I’m done with taking the easy way out, Dev.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”

“I know I scoffed when you first offered to teach me the accounting aspect of the Shack, but I’d like to take you up on that,” Luke said. “Maybe I can hire you as an outside accountant until I’ve got a handle on everything. You’ve been promising Chloe you’d lighten your workload. Here’s an opportunity. Sell me your half of the Sugar Shack.”

Dev leaned back in the same high-back chair once occupied by their dad, and before him, Daisy’s husband—Grandpa Jessup. All dominant forces, all respected, all successful.

Luke had never aspired to any of that. He just wanted to make a decent living doing what he liked. Tending bar, jawing with customers, hanging with friends, chasing babes. In the past forty-eight hours his priorities had shifted significantly.

“What’s going on with you?” Dev asked point-blank. “You haven’t been yourself since Christmas. You know, the Christmas you almost missed with your family because you flew off to California to help some past girlfriend out of a jam. Or so you said. That’s where Rae flew in from, right? L.A.? Rae who we once knew as Rachel. The woman who worked at the Shack for, what, a week before she skipped town for wherever. I’m thinking California.”

If Luke didn’t know better, he’d think Jayce had confided in Dev regarding the investigation into Rachel Lacey’s whereabouts. They were lifelong best friends after all. Except Jayce was a noble sort who was deadly serious about things like client confidentiality. Nope. Dev was fishing.

“I assume, because she’s only been back for a couple of days and you’re an item now,” Dev plowed on, “there was something between you before. Sam learned about it and that’s why you two have been at odds these past few months. Am I close?”

“Pretty close.” Why lie?

“Is she pregnant?

Luke didn’t flinch. Not outwardly anyway. “Why would you ask that?”

“Why else would you commit to a girl you hardly know? Alienating your own cousin in the process?”

“I didn’t screw Sam over. Not intentionally. They were never a couple in the first place. Rae had no interest in Sam. Not romantically. Not ever. Why doesn’t anyone get that?” Luke pushed out of his chair and turned his back on his brother. “Jesus. I’m trying to do the right thing here and I’m on everyone’s shit list.”

“Not everyone.” Dev moved past him, to the sidebar installed by their grandfather more than fifty years ago. “Drink?”

Luke eyed the bottle of scotch then his watch. Eleven thirty. “What the hell.”

Dev poured. “How far along is she?”

“About seven weeks.”

“Not far.”

“Rae asked me not to tell anyone. Not yet. She said the first trimester is iffy.” Luke took one of the glasses from his brother. “I need you to keep this to yourself, Dev.”

“Understood.”

They both drank then Dev said, “At the risk of pissing you off, let me ask you the same question you asked me when I faced this situation all those years ago with Janna. Are you sure the baby’s yours?”

Janna. Dev’s high school obsession. A girl who’d played loose with his heart and slept around. A girl who’d run to him when her parents tossed her out because she was pregnant. The girl he’d married, accepting the child as his own even though there was a chance it wasn’t. A child he’d mourned when his wife, now ex-wife, had miscarried five months into the pregnancy. If anyone could commiserate with Luke, it was his big brother.

“Timing’s right and I wasn’t protected. Don’t ask.” Luke slammed back the rest of his shot. “Rae said the baby’s mine and I believe her.”

“You’re taking the word of a woman who pretended to be someone else, who lived a lie for an entire year?”

“Yeah.” Luke jammed a hand through his hair. “Listen, Dev. There’s a lot I don’t know about Rae. What I sense is that she’s a good person. Even though she led a privileged life, I think it was a shitty one. I met her mom and her stepfather. If they’re any indication…” He shook his head. He hadn’t like Geoffrey Stein. He had a feeling he’d like him even less when he learned the source of tension between that arrogant bastard and Rae. Luke would bet money Stein was the one angling to derail her life. But why? “She’s as good as alone in the world. I know she can take care of herself, but there’s the baby to think of, too.”

“This is a pattern with you, you know,” Dev said. “You rescue desperate women like Jayce rescues unfortunate animals.”

“This is different,” Luke said.

“Yes and no.”

“I invited Rae to dinner tonight.”

“Should be interesting.”

Luke set aside his glass. “I’d appreciate it if you’d make her feel welcome.”

“When have I not been welcoming?”

“Oh, let’s see. The first time Gram invited Vince to Sunday dinner?” There’d been a huge blow out between Daisy and Dev because Dev had been prickly and wary of the two seniors hooking up. “You’re kind of intimidating when you’re in protector mode. Let me assure you Rae’s not looking to take advantage of me. She’s smart. She’s rich. She could live anywhere. Work anywhere. She came back to Sugar Creek with good intentions. To help the Cupcake Lovers. To reestablish Sugar Tots. And to offer me a chance to know my kid.”

Dev raised his palms in surrender. “I promise to be nice.”

“And to keep our secret?”

“Your secret’s safe.”

Luke blew out a breath, his shoulders feeling lighter by the second. Dev’s support meant a lot. “The Shack?”

“I’ll have the papers drawn up. We’ll work it out. You’ll be sole owner by the end of the month, maybe sooner.”

“Great. Good.” Luke offered his hand. “Thanks, Dev.”

His brother clasped his palm, “Sure,” then raised a brow. “Anything else?”

Bothered by a wisp of doubt, Luke shrugged. “About the numbers. The bookkeeping. It might take me awhile.”

“You’ll get it.” Dev squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll make sure of it.”