Anything but Love

SIXTEEN

Rae had never felt as close to anyone as she had with Luke during those few moments in the examining room. It made her feel wonderful and sad and sort of pathetic at the same time. She was twenty-five. She’d never had a serious relationship with a man nor did she have any close friends. Not the kind you stayed in touch with no matter where you lived or how much time went by. The only friends she’d ever had, outside of the Cupcake Lovers, had been false or transient friends. People who sucked up because of her celebrity ties or money. Friendly acquaintances who faded from her life once they no longer crossed paths on a daily basis.

Weary of being taken advantage of, she’d erected a wall years ago. She didn’t let people into her head or heart, which negated intimate relationships. She was tired of playing it safe. Tired of guarding her every thought and word. Tired of playing the martyr. She wanted to live and laugh and love. To be surrounded by good people and positive endeavors. To experience full out what she’d had a taste of that year she’d lived in Sugar Creek. She realized suddenly just how important it was to her that Luke accepted and welcomed their baby. Even though she knew she was capable of raising her child anywhere. This is where she wanted to be.

So what now? Shop for a house? An apartment? The prospect was daunting considering her determination to resurrect Sugar Tots and to influence the Cupcake Lovers book deal. Maybe it would be best to cool her heels at the Pine and Periwinkle until she’d tackled some of her goals. Until she and Luke had reached a formal understanding. Why rush forward when so much was unsettled?

Luke had kept to himself on the drive back to her hotel. Then again, so had Rae. She assumed he was contemplating the future, much like her. That kiss had sealed an emotional bond. She was sure of it. Knowing Luke’s romantic history, this was probably a first for him. It was definitely new territory for Rae. Her thoughts and feelings were tangled. She couldn’t process the true nature of their relationship. Couldn’t envision their next step. So she focused on now and the simple facts.

Her baby was fine.

She was fine.

Luke was happy.

They were involved.

Even though Rae was dead on her feet, her senses tingled as he walked her to her suite. Lightheaded, lighthearted, she smiled up at him when her key card snicked. “Thank you, Luke. For everything.”

“If that’s my cue to go, forget it. I’m not leaving you alone tonight.” He nudged her through the door then shut out the rest of the world.

Rae turned and bumped into his hard chest. “You don’t have to—”

“I want to.”

“I’m feeling much better.”

“Good. Still staying.”

“Overnight?”

“All night.”

Luke never slept over with his girlfriends. One of his rules. Although they weren’t dating. They were involved.

Whatever that meant.

“Sure you won’t regret this in the morning?” she asked.

“How about we take one day at a time?”

“At the moment that’s all I’m capable of,” she said as he helped her out of her coat. “Between the food poisoning and subsequent drama, I’m wiped. All I want is a hot bath and a long nap.”

“And food,” Luke added. “You have to eat something. Even if it’s just broth.” He plucked his cell from his pocket. “I’ll order in from the Shack.”

“They offer room service here.”

“I’m not trusting your stomach to anyone but Anna,” Luke said. “Not until you’re fully recovered.”

He was being overprotective, which was sweet. Rae cursed her fluttering heart. He was ordering chicken soup, not an engagement ring. For all she knew, as soon as she felt 100 percent, he’d do a one-eighty.

“What’s wrong?”

Rae shrugged as Luke pocketed his phone. “Nothing. I just … Are you sure about this sleeping over thing? There’s only one bed.”

“I can sleep on the love seat.”

“Not comfortably.”

Luke crossed his arms and angled his head. “Is that an invitation to sleep with you?”

His tone was casual but her cheeks flushed all the same. She thought back on their mad shag in Bel Air, the way she’d practically ripped off his pants. “I won’t attack you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Why would you, when the sex wasn’t all that great?”

Rae winced in memory of her crude brush-off. “You seriously took my jab to heart?”

“You sounded damned convincing.”

“I lashed out because…”

“Go on.”

Rae’s heart hammered, knowing she was standing at a crossroad. He was asking her to speak honestly, to bear her heart, which meant setting herself up for disappointment.

“I don’t know where this, us, is going Rae. But I can’t move forward if you keep me in the dark.”

“It was the best sex of my life,” she blurted, “and you ruined it. Your regret was crystal clear. You were disgusted and angry.”

“With myself,” Luke cut in. “You’d been drinking. I took advantage.”

“I wanted it. Wanted you. Sex with you.”

“To get me out of your system.”

She’d had no idea her words had inflicted such hurt. Words spoken in anger in order to salvage her own pride. “If I wanted you out of my system, I wouldn’t have come back to Sugar Creek. I wouldn’t be standing here. I certainly wouldn’t be sharing my feelings.”

Luke held her gaze, nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t handle things better. After.”

“Me, too. I mean—”

“I know what you mean.” He smiled a little, striking a death blow to her already weak knees. “You okay if I leave for a while?” he asked.

“Did I scare you off?”

“No.” He reached out and caressed her cheek. “But there’s something I need to do.”

Rae’s stomach clenched. “Sam.”

“Sam.”

Luke dialed his cousin as he walked toward his wheels.

“I’m in a meeting, Luke.”

“I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

“I’ll step outside.”

“Needs to be in person.”

“Can it wait?”

“No.” Luke revved his car and tempered his pulse. “Where are you?”

“Moose-a-lotta.”

Luke flashed on an earlier phone call from Rocky. “The emergency CL meeting?”

“Yup.”

Damn. The only thing worse than confronting Sam with his news, was confronting Sam in front of the ladies who’d been rooting for Sam and Rae as a couple for months. “I’ll meet you outside of the café in ten.”

Rolling through the slushy streets of Sugar Creek, Luke considered three different openings to this conversation. None of them felt right. By the time he parked in front of Moose-a-lotta he’d resigned himself to a black eye or bruised jaw. If Sam struck out like he’d done once before, Luke wouldn’t fight back. Unless Sam went bat-shit crazy on him. Luke couldn’t see that happening. Then again his judgment had been dicey of late.

Luke zipped his coat and stepped onto the road, bracing for the frigid winds and Sam’s wrath. Spying several familiar faces, including his sister and Gram, peeking through the closed blinds of Moose-a-lotta, Luke groaned. Great. They had an audience. If things got ugly between the two cousins, the Cupcake Lovers would have a front-row seat. He wondered if Daisy had told Sam and everyone about running into Luke and Rae at the hospital. He could almost hear the conjecture and gossip buzzing in his ears. He could feel Rocky’s boot kicking his ass to the curb and out of the club for multiple reasons, but mostly for screwing over their poor widowed cousin.

Damn.

“I’m guessing this has to do with Rae,” Sam said, making the first play.

“I haven’t been entirely forthright,” Luke said while stuffing his gloved hands in his pockets. “All I can say is, it wasn’t intentional. I didn’t pursue Rae. I didn’t charm or seduce her. Hell, I didn’t even flirt. That first kiss, it went down like I said. Purely innocent. Then, because I was worried about her, I hired Jayce to track her.”

“You flew to Bel Air,” Sam surmised.

“I saw red when I found out who she was and how she’d betrayed us. There was a confrontation and an incident. I didn’t think I’d see her again. I sure as hell didn’t think there was anything between us.”

“But there is.”

“There is.” Luke rocked back on his heels, hunched his shoulders against the biting wind, and wondered if hell was going to freeze over before Sam reacted to the news.

The man just stared.

Most people crumbled under Sam’s famous death glare. But Luke was too primed. Too pissed. It wasn’t his fault that Rae had fallen for him and not Sam. He wasn’t a homewrecker. They’d never been a goddamned couple. “Are you gonna slug me?” Because Luke was suddenly itching to slug back.

“No. I’ll just wait.”

“For what?”

“For you to screw up.”

A haymaker would have hurt less. Luke had always looked up to Sam and before this thing with Rae, he’d been as tight with the man as any of his other cousins. And that was damned tight. The censure stung, but it also torqued Luke’s pride. “What if I don’t screw up, Sam? What if I make a commitment to Rae and follow through?”

“You don’t know jack shit about commitment, Luke.”

“What? Because I’ve never been engaged or married?”

“Hell, you’ve never even been monogamous.”

“You weren’t exactly a Boy Scout before you met Paula.”

“Are you saying you feel for Rae what I felt for my wife?”

“I’m saying we’re involved. Back off, Sam.”

The man warded him off with raised palms as if to say, done.

Luke didn’t believe that for one minute.

“You coming in for the rest of the meeting?” Sam asked. “We’re discussing key issues regarding the future of the club.”

“Pass.” The sooner he got back to Rae with that fortifying soup, the better.

“Yeah, well, some of us are actually invested in the cause.” Sam turned toward the café.

Luke frowned. “When did you turn into such a dick?”

“Around the same day as you.”