Behind His Eyes

Chapter 13 It is MY decision - January 2012 (Consequences - Chapter 48)

When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him.

—Euripides

With each day that passed and Tony wasted in the hospital, his disappointment grew and festered. Every hour of work lost, every time someone entered his private room and performed some duty that was not to his liking, every time his personal space was invaded or the police came with more questions—every minute of each day was a reminder of how Claire had failed. Her failure didn’t only affect her—no, Tony suffered as well.

He suffered physical pain as the toxins exited his body. Every time Tony took a deep breath or moved, he suffered piercing pain from the repercussions of the CPR. Two of his ribs were broken along with excessive damage to the cartilage in his chest. Then, there was the psychological suffering as he endured the humiliation of test after examination after test. Never had he been so exposed to so many people. Even his money couldn’t save him from the prying eyes and hands of doctor after doctor.

After he regained his strength, Tony convinced the Iowa City Police Department and the FBI that he was safe with the help of his own security team. He explained that it was senseless for the people of Iowa to be burdened with the financial responsibility of his protection. The powers that be agreed, and Tony was at least free of the twenty-four-seven prying eyes of law enforcement.

The Simmonses cut their vacation short and hurried to Tony’s bedside. Although he was happy to see them, they entered his hospital room right after Tony had finished another round of examinations and blood draws. His demeanor was not pleasant.

Their expressions were a mix of sadness and exhaustion. The trip from Fiji to Iowa had been long. Courtney was the first to speak as she rushed to Tony and swallowed him in a hug. He flinched at the discomfort. With tears in her eyes she said, “Oh, Tony, thank God! We’ve been so worried about you.”

Brent gently slapped Tony’s shoulder. “Hey, we rushed home because you’re supposed to be at death’s door. You look good to me.”

“You missed the good part,” Tony replied. “Apparently, I was more than at death’s door—I passed the threshold. The doctors said they had to restart my heart.”

Tears flowed from Courtney’s eyes as she hugged him again. “Oh! I can’t believe this. What happened? With all the traveling, we’ve only heard small snippets.”

Brent cleared his throat. “We heard that Claire’s been arrested. Man, tell us that isn’t true.”

Tony sat straighter and watched his best friends. “It is.”

“No!” Courtney stood. “Claire wouldn’t do this! There has to be some mistake.”

“Do I look like there’s a mistake?”

Using the voice Tony had heard in courtrooms and conference negotiations, Brent said, “Courtney, let’s hear what happened before jumping to any conclusions.”

“She poisoned me!” Tony lowered his volume. “In front of a live web conference, I took a drink of coffee that Claire brought to me and I died! My damn heart stopped. Last I heard that’s the definition of death. The police have reviewed all of my in-house surveillance and everything points to her. Marcus Evergreen has been here a couple of times. They have Claire locked up.” When neither of his friends commented, Tony added, “She’s being held on charges of attempted murder. Apparently, even though my heart stopped, the fact it restarted gets her out of a murder rap.”

Brent wrapped Courtney in his arms as she hugged her midsection and her shoulders shuddered. Finally, she broke free and asked, “Why? Why would she do this? What happened? What did you do?”

Tony stared as red seeped into his peripheral vision. First, there were the damn doctors who poked and prodded, and now Courtney had the audacity to accuse him! It was all he could do to keep his lips pressed together in a tight line. When he looked away from Courtney, his eyes met Brent’s. By his friend’s expression, Tony believed that Brent knew what he was thinking. Tony didn’t intend to say too much in front of Courtney, but he sure as hell would tell Brent.

Taking a deep breath, Tony winced and said, “I’ve spoken with Tom. No Rawlings money will be used for her defense. That means personal or corporate. No members of the Rawlings legal team will assist her, and that includes you,” he looked to Brent, “and your wife.”

Courtney shook her head and turned away.

Tony went on. “I personally hope that a trial can be avoided. I hardly want the world to know that I married a psycho who wanted me dead … nevertheless, the evidence is straightforward. I believe we should start thinking about a divorce.”

“Tony, please,” Courtney pleaded. “Please think about this. Please don’t make decisions that you’ll regret.”

“Brent, I’d like to speak with you privately.” Tony had never treated Courtney with anything other than respect. He didn’t want to start now. To facilitate that—to avoid a possible confrontation, Tony needed her to leave. “Courtney, I’ve had nothing to do for the last few days but lie in this bed and think. I’ve thought this out multiple different ways. You two have been traveling and are obviously exhausted. I promise this was not a rushed decision. Now, I’d like to speak to Brent for a moment.”

Brent nodded to Courtney as she picked up her coat and purse and headed toward the door. Just before she reached the handle, she said, “Tony, I’m really glad you’re all right. You know how much we care about you, but you were the one who brought Claire into our lives. I don’t abandon friends. Don’t ask me to do that.”

“I’m not. I’m asking you to support me.”

Her shoulders lifted and dropped before she looked down and left the room.

Trying to keep his voice in check, Tony glared at Brent and waited for the door to shut. Once they were alone, he said, “Control your wife! That’s not a recommendation nor a suggestion—I’m fuck’n serious. Claire did this to me. Neither you nor Courtney will visit or help her in any way!”

Brent nodded. “I hear you. Let me talk with Cort.”

“Talk to her, do whatever you need to do, but I’m not backing down on this!”

Brent feigned a smile. “I guess we don’t need to worry about you anymore. You’re obviously feeling better.”

Tony nodded. “Check in with Tom and get up-to-date. Evergreen seems to have everything under control, but I don’t want a trial. I’m willing to do anything to avoid that. You know what I think about the damn press—they’re already having a field day. I don’t want to give them any more ammunition. I have no idea what my wife was thinking or why she did this. She’d been acting strangely since that old friend of hers died. Then, after she heard about John, she must have snapped.”

“John?” Brent swallowed hard. “Did the shit hit the fan?”

“Yeah, a few days ago. His firm pressed charges.”

Brent closed his eyes and shook his head. “Damn, I didn’t know it would happen so soon.”

“Focus! This isn’t about him or even her. I’m getting out of here soon. Find out exactly what Evergreen’s planning. He just trips over himself whenever I talk to him, with all his damn yes sirs and no sirs.”

“I’ll find out what’s happening. Would you drop the charges to avoid a trial?”

“That’s just it. I never pressed charges—the state of Iowa did. I fuck’n lost control of this, and I want you to get it back for me—yesterday.”

Brent nodded and looked at his watch. “I’ll see what I can do. Do you have your cell?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll call you later tonight. When are they letting you out?”

“If I had my way it would’ve been yesterday. My doctor’s this little five-foot firecracker who refuses to release me until some damn numbers drop in my blood.”

Brent smiled. “So the administrators don’t give a damn about your donations?”

“They do, and they’re making sure I get the best. Apparently, that’s her and she’s not interested in my donations or cash on the side—I’ve tried. Maybe I should pay off the damn lab techs. I’ll pay for the fuck’n numbers to go down.”

“Jesus, Tony! Listen to the damn doctor. I’d bet they want you out of here as much as you want to be out.”

Tony couldn’t help but smile. “You’re probably right, but I might look into the lab tech angle.”

Brent walked toward the door. “I’m leaving. I’ll call you after I talk with Evergreen.”

“Brent.” Tony’s tone lowered. “Do what I said. Control your wife. Don’t disappoint me.”

Brent nodded as he stepped through the door. Tony saw members of his security staff standing just beyond the open frame. Closing his eyes, he remembered Catherine’s words: Claire and Mrs. Simmons were getting close? Memories of Courtney’s question increased his discomfort. Close—how close? Had Claire said anything to Courtney that would cause her to suspect him of pushing Claire to the extreme of attempted murder? Shit—he needed to feel that out. Could it be that Claire had disappointed him without him even realizing it? He opened his eyes. The monitor near his bed was beeping faster and faster as new red flooded the empty room.

The damn numbers finally confirmed Tony’s health. That didn’t mean the pain was gone. His ribs hurt every time he breathed, and the cardiologist warned that Tony could have long-term effects. His heart would require further monitoring, but the signs for his long-range recovery were positive.

Riding up the drive of his estate, Tony pushed his emotions away. With Claire gone, his house seemed so empty. He’d spoken with Catherine on multiple occasions and, thankfully, she’d never boasted about Claire’s failure. As a matter of fact, she was genuinely saddened by the outcome and worried about Tony’s well-being. Whenever Tony mentioned Claire, Catherine would steer the subject to him and his recovery. He reassured her that he would get well, and he never doubted that he would.

Focusing on his responsibilities at Rawlings, which Tim had been assuming for too long, Tony entered his front door determined to ignore the obvious emptiness. His staff fell over themselves as they fulfilled his every need. It wasn’t until he’d been home for a few hours that he wandered into the sitting room. He didn’t mean to look above the fireplace—but he did. Tony wasn’t looking for the green eyes; however, when he saw the large mirror that had hung there for years, fury overtook his being.

“Where the hell is the wedding portrait?”

There was no one near; the house was as empty as it felt. When he screamed his question again, Cindy came running. “Mr. Rawlings, are you all right? Can I help you?”

“No! I’m not all right! Where is Mrs. Rawlings’ portrait?” He’d paid a fortune to have that portrait commissioned. He’d purposely had it painted by Sophia Rossi. No, not Rossi—Burke, and now it was gone!

“Sir, Catherine had it removed. She believed that you wouldn’t—”

“I don’t care what she believed! Where is it?”

“Sir, I-I don’t know?”

“Where is Catherine?”

Suddenly, Catherine appeared, hurrying in from the hall. “Cindy, I’ll help Mr. Rawlings. Thank you.”

Cindy looked to Tony and waited. When he nodded, she turned away.

Catherine’s voice tried to reassure. “Mr. Rawlings, you are supposed to rest.”

He waited until Cindy left the room. “Where the fuck is the picture?”

“I thought that you—”

He glared. “I didn’t ask you what you thought. I don’t care what you think! Tell me where the fuck the painting is!”

Catherine’s shoulders squared. “It’s in her suite.”

Tony closed his eyes and exhaled. Reestablishing his glare, he spoke slowly. “Don’t you fuck’n touch any of her things. Don’t make any damn assumptions about what I want and what I don’t want. This isn’t negotiable. Her things belong to me. Only I will decide what happens to them. I don’t want to have this conversation again—ever. Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir.” He heard the contempt in Catherine’s voice, and at that moment Tony didn’t give a damn.

“Have the portrait moved to my suite and hung over my fireplace. It’ll stay there until I decide. Clear?”

“Yes, sir.” He turned on his heel and stepped deliberately from the sitting room. Fighting the urge to go up to Claire’s suite, Tony went to his office and contemplated his most recent revelation. If the state of Iowa wouldn’t allow him to decide Claire’s fate, then his most recent idea could. He called Brent.

Brent picked up on the third ring. “Yes, Tony?”

“What if she’s insane?”

“Excuse me?”

“I told you that she’d been acting more and more detached since Johnson died. What if she lost it?”

Brent waited and then he said, “Evergreen said she’s been very quiet, not saying much of anything.”

Tony smiled. This could work! “If she pleads insanity, what could happen? Can we avoid the trial?”

“Let me look into it,” Brent replied. “Do you want the state to sentence her to an institution?”

“No!” Tony’s answer came too fast. “I want to pay for it. There’s no sense having the people of Iowa pay her expenses.”

“And when … if … she gets better?” Brent asked.

“We’ll cross that bridge, but if I’m paying, it should be my decision.” Everything about her had been his decision, even before she knew his name. He wasn’t losing that control now.

“Tony, I’ll investigate and get back to you. Evergreen said there’s a preexamination scheduled for the day after tomorrow.”

“I should be there.”

“That isn’t the customary practice.”

“I don’t give a shit what’s customary. You investigate the insanity plea and I’ll call Evergreen.”

Tony didn’t wait for Brent’s answer before he hit: DISCONNECT.

Tony had Judge Reynolds’ written decision in the breast pocket of his jacket. He didn’t care if Evergreen didn’t want him at this preexamination. Tony wanted Claire to plead insanity, and he needed to tell her. Honestly, he didn’t expect any resistance from her or her counsel. Evergreen had said she received court-appointed attorneys, and apparently her draw hadn’t been the best. Paul Task was fresh out of law school, had recently passed the bar, and was still wet behind the ears. His co-counsel was Jane Allyson. She’d spent a few years in the defender’s office before and during law school. Evergreen said she was tenacious, but unestablished and unknown.

As Tony entered the hallway of conference rooms in the courthouse complex attached to the Iowa City jail, he was met by multiple law-enforcement officers. No one questioned his presence or commented about his wife’s behavior. Everyone greeted him as if he were a long-lost friend. “Hello, Mr. Rawlings.” “It’s nice to see you, Mr. Rawlings.” “Can I help you, Mr. Rawlings?”

It didn’t take him long to find the conference room occupied by Evergreen and his team, as well as Claire and her legal team. There was a small window in the door. As soon as he looked in, he saw her. She looked so small and frail sitting at the cluttered table flanked by her incompetent counsel. Taking a deep breath, and remembering the pain of his broken ribs, he opened the door. The room, which had been full of murmuring, went silent. It was Marcus who finally stood and approached. “Mr. Rawlings, I thought we discussed this, and you weren’t to attend this conference.”

“Mr. Evergreen.” Tony forced himself to look at the prosecutor as they shook hands. Every instinct in his body wanted to look at his wife. Feeling the green of her eyes penetrating his facade, he pushed on. “I appreciate everyone’s concern for my safety. I’ll repeat what I told Judge Reynolds. I don’t believe my wife is a threat to my well-being. I believe if we can have a few moments alone, we can save the taxpayers of Iowa the cost of a lengthy trial, and this court, some time. Judge Reynolds has agreed to my request.”

Marcus nodded and turned toward his team. Immediately, they began to move their chairs and stand. Claire’s counsel whispered to one another and then to Claire. Next, Paul Task stood to meet Tony chest to chest. It was almost comical. Tony tried not to smile as Mr. Task stuttered, “M-Mr. Rawlings, I-I’ll need to confirm that Judge Reynolds has indeed approved this visit. In situations such as this—”

Grinning, Tony reached into his jacket and passed a paper to Claire’s frightened attorney. “Of course, Mr. Task. I would have expected no less. Here’s the good judge’s written approval.”

Tony tried not to notice Paul Task’s shaking hands as he took the paper and began to read. Once he was done, Tony smugly nodded as Claire’s attorney turned toward her and confirmed, “Mrs. Rawlings, it appears to be in order.”

As most of the room’s occupants began to leave, Claire’s co-counsel sat unmoving. Tony’s gaze centered on the woman to Claire’s right. Finally, Jane rose and met Tony’s eyes. “Mr. Rawlings.”

“Ms. Allyson.” They nodded.

“Mr. Rawlings, this is unexpected. I’d like to speak to our client for a few moments and determine her desire regarding this meeting. If you’d please step into the hall with Mr. Evergreen and his team, Mr. Task and I will discuss this new situation with Mrs. Rawlings.” Who the hell did this woman think she was? Tony started to respond, but Jane continued, “And then if Mrs. Rawlings agrees to your meeting, it may proceed under her conditions.”

Before Tony could speak, Marcus placed his hand on Tony’s arm and nodded. Tony turned toward Claire. This woman thought that she could stop him? He didn’t need words, not with Claire. He wanted Claire to know that soon they’d be speaking, it wasn’t open for debate. When he saw her expression, Tony’s cheeks rose and his grin grew. She understood his unspoken promise. He turned back to her co-counsel. Accommodatingly, he said, “Why of course, Ms. Allyson,” and stepped from the small room.

Once in the hallway, Marcus looked him in the eye and took a step backward. “I’m sorry, Mr. Rawlings, this is highly unusual. Ms. Allyson is—”

Tony squared his shoulders and smiled affirmatively. “—doing her job. I respect that, but as I’ve stated, I’m not frightened of my wife. I believe she was merely overwhelmed.”

Marcus looked at his colleagues and then back to Tony.

Tony had everyone’s attention. “You see, I’ve given this a lot of thought. Despite the evidence, I don’t believe my wife wanted to kill me. The doctor said that the dose was wrong, and she’s too intelligent for that. I’m a busy man. Perhaps it was nothing more than a cry for help.”

“Mr. Rawlings, the state of Iowa—”

Tony put his hand on Marcus’s shoulder. “The state of Iowa has done a remarkable job building a case. You’ve said that she’s remained mostly silent. Is that still the case?”

Marcus nodded.

“Very well, I’ve had my attorneys working on this case day and night.”

“But … it isn’t up to your attorneys.” Marcus answered, somewhat puzzled.

“No, it isn’t. However, if …” Tony turned to address the entire group, “… if my wife pleads insanity—we can call it temporary. If my wife pleads temporary insanity and the state accepts that plea, I believe she’ll receive the treatment she needs and deserves. Mrs. Rawlings isn’t a criminal: she’s ill. I want her to get the best care possible.”

Marcus looked confused. “But, we have a solid case.”

“I’m sure you do. I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt your career, or any of your careers, to add this gem to your résumé. I can assure you though, that supporting the insanity defense, keeping this out of court, and allowing my wife to enter a private treatment facility, will also benefit your careers. You have my word.”

Tony glanced toward the small window and saw Jane Allyson talking as Claire nodded. He wanted in that damn room.

“You realize,” Marcus said, “it isn’t enough for her to plead insanity. It must be clinically verified.”

Tony grinned. “Yes, Marcus, I realize that. I have a plethora of psychiatrists ready to evaluate her.”

“We have state-appointed—”

Before he could finish, Tony said, “I have their names, and I can assure you, they’re on my list.”

“It’s customary for the courts to determine the amount of time and treatment—”

The door opened and Paul Task and Jane Allyson stepped from the room, interrupting their discussion. “Mr. Rawlings,” Mr. Task said, “Mrs. Rawlings is ready to speak with you now.”

Tony’s smile broadened. “There are always exceptions, Marcus. I know this can be worked out.”

Marcus Evergreen nodded as Tony stepped from the hall to the room. Closing the door behind him, he stared at his wife. Her eyes watched his every move. He sat down across the table from her. Bravely, she reached out and said, “Tony, I’m so glad you are all right.” He took her petite hands in his and felt their coldness. For a moment he wanted to warm her, then she continued, “You know I’d never hurt you?”

He fought the red. She’d left him. Driven to St. Louis. Made a public laughingstock of their marriage! He tempered his tone. “My dear Claire, it certainly appears you did. You handed me the coffee. There was poison in the coffee.”

“You told me to get you coffee.” Although her voice was strong, he saw the tears that threatened to spill from her glistening eyes. She continued, “I’ve thought about it a million times. There must’ve been poison in the coffee already … or in the cream. I just don’t know. I don’t know who would do this. The only other people at home were staff—staff you’ve employed for years—but it should be on surveillance. You have cameras in the kitchen—”

He interrupted, “All evidence points to you. Then, there’s the way you ran to the car and drove away.”

Suddenly, the emerald was gone as she looked down at the table and mumbled, “I’m sorry.” She paused. Still looking at the table, she continued, “It was impulsive. I knew not to take one of the cars, but I saw the keys. I hadn’t had the opportunity in so long, the sky was so blue, and you’d been—well, life had been unpredictable. I felt like I was suffocating and just needed a reprieve, a small break. Honestly, Tony, I was about to turn around to come home. I wanted to be home—I want to be with you.”

He lifted her chin. “Claire, how are your accommodations?” His voice was low yet strong. “Consequences, appearances, I thought you’d learned your lessons better.”

“Tony, please take me home. I promise I’ll never disappoint you again. Please tell them you know I wouldn’t—couldn’t—do this.”

It was the pleading he wanted, and once she was in the mental facility, he’d allow her to expand upon her remorse. In the meantime, he needed to push forward.

Claire continued, “I know there’ll be consequences and punishment. I don’t care, as long as you’re all right. I just want to go home. Please, please, Tony, they’ll listen to you.”

He looked deep into her eyes. He’d trusted her and she’d failed him. He spoke softly, “The entire thing seems to be a colossal accident. However, I’ve done some research and it seems you can plead insanity and receive treatment instead of incarceration.”

She sprung from her chair and started to pace. “What are you saying? I’m not pleading insanity! That means guilty and crazy—I’m neither! And this wasn’t an accident. I didn’t try to kill you!”

He stood and moved very close. Looking down, he whispered, “Claire, listen. I’ve found a mental hospital that is willing to accept you. I’ll pay the expenses so the taxpayers aren’t responsible for your lack of judgment.”

“I’ve been here for over a week. I’ve been questioned over and over. I haven’t divulged any private information. I’ve followed all the rules. The only rule I broke was driving a car. That’s it!”

She was too loud. He kept his voice low, trying to make her understand. “This plea will avoid a trial. The entire unfortunate incident is understandable. You came from a modest background. The life we shared had pressures and responsibilities—with entertaining, charities, and reporters. It’s understandable. You just couldn’t handle it.”

Claire sat. Tony walked to her and bent down to maintain eye contact. “I should’ve recognized the signs. Perhaps, I was too busy with work. When you recently canceled your charity obligations, I should’ve realized how overwhelmed you felt.” He fought the disappointment that fueled an unneeded rage. Although he tried to sound reassuring, authority prevailed in his tone. This was too important. Claire needed to listen to every word. It was what he’d done after her accident; he planted the seed and she obediently embedded its roots. He wanted the same outcome. Just as she’d responded to Dr. Leonard, he needed her to respond to her attorneys. “You wanted out, and in a moment of weakness—no, in a moment of insanity— you decided the only way out was to try to kill me. I’m only thankful that you underestimated the amount of poison needed or you may have succeeded. After all, if you’d succeeded, I wouldn’t be here to help you now.” He pulled out a chair and sat facing his wife. “Aren’t you glad I’m able to help you? And, Claire …” He leaned nearer. “… I hear the rooms at the mental facility are larger than the cells at the federal penitentiary.”

Tony expected a sign of recognition. He expected her to grab the lifeline he was throwing and hold on with both hands. It was a gift. She’d disappointed him—failed his test, publicly and privately—yet instead of walking away, he was offering her an out. This solution would help her and fulfill his need for control. Claire was his—her belongings, her portrait, and most importantly, her. He was angry. She had a long way to go to earn back his trust, but nonetheless, he was offering her an out. Claire needed to understand that he was helping her.

When she straightened her neck and met his eyes, he immediately realized—she wasn’t taking his offer. The fire he loved to see was burning a blaze brighter than he’d ever seen. Didn’t she understand? He loved that strength, but now wasn’t the time. Now she needed to redeem herself.

Tony stood in amazement of the defiance before him. He wouldn’t beg her! Damn her. This was crucial! He continued, disappointment audible in his tone, “Utilize the time you have to think this over. Don’t make another poor, impulsive decision. This is your best offer.” He knocked on the door. “Goodbye, Claire.”

She didn’t respond as he stepped back into the hall.

“Mr. Rawlings?” Marcus asked. “Is everything set?”

Counselor Allyson spoke, “This decision cannot be made without our input.”

Tony turned toward the outspoken attorney. “Then I suggest that you convince your client that she has been offered a gift, and she should take it.” With that, he nodded and walked down the hallway, leaving the group momentarily silent. The voice in his head cursed Claire’s independence and stubbornness, pushing Tony to walk faster and faster.

Damn her! Damn her! A reprieve? A small break? Claire had left him! And now she was being obstinate!

Tony reasoned that she just needed time to consider his offer. A grin emerged as he reached the door of the courthouse. Yes, time, that was what she needed, time alone to think.

It had worked before. It would work again.