Chasing Bliss

Chapter Eleven

“So, do you want to explain to me what you’re doing in this crap hole?” Patrick asked, pushing the plastic menu away.

The better question was why she was sitting with her ex-fiancé when there were two half-naked men at home. Angry men, she mentally corrected. Really angry. Probably done-with-her men. That was what was waiting for her. She took a long breath, banishing the tears that threatened to fall. She wasn’t going to cry around Patrick.

“My mom grew up here.” She looked down at the menu and wondered what the special was. Sushi. Thank god. The way Hal prepped, she might actually die from eating it.

Patrick sat back, giving her a high-voltage smile. “I forgot about that. It’s easy, you know. You’re so intelligent that it’s hard to believe you came from such humble roots. God, I drove into town, if you can call it that, and wondered how bad it’d gotten that you’d end up here.”

She put the menu down. Like being from the city meant a person had brains. She’d met more incredibly intelligent people here in Bliss than she’d ever known in New York. “It’s a nice town. I came here to be with my mom who is recovering from cancer.”

“And the guy climbing out of the bedroom?” Patrick’s eyebrow arched.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but his name is Cade.”

“You’re seeing someone?”

Gemma leaned forward, ready to dispense with the bullshit. “Why are you here, Patrick?”

God, it was supposed to be her wedding day. She should be getting ready to walk down the aisle to meet her picture-perfect groom and start her well-planned life.

“I made a mistake, Gemma. I knew it the minute you walked out.”

“Well, it’s six months later so you couldn’t have been too sure.”

“Babe, you have to understand. It was all over the papers. The partners were horrified. I couldn’t just go back to you. I had to think about how it would look. I had to play a long game.”

He couldn’t just go back to her? As if she would have had him. She looked up at the clock. Straight-up noon. She’d forced Patrick to drive around for what felt like forever before she settled on hiding out at Stella’s. Maybe she should have driven into Creede, but she was half hoping they would come after her. What was she doing?

She should call Jesse. No. She wasn’t going to call Jesse. This was what happened when she acted on emotion. She should have sat down and made a decision matrix and decided what to do from there. But no, she’d run on pure fear and now she’d probably wrecked everything.

“Earth to Gemma?”

She’d nearly forgotten he was here. And why was he really here? She didn’t buy the whole long-game crap. “What?”

“See, there’s the Ice Princess. I worried she was gone for a minute. You walked out of that cabin looking all soft and flustered and, god, feminine. I nearly didn’t recognize you.”

Yeah, she could guess why. “Packed on a couple of pounds, huh?”

His head shook vigorously. “They look good on you, babe. When the hell did you get boobs? I mean it. You look damn fine, Gemma, but I need the real you. I need the killer lawyer.”

“Why?”

“Because I can get your job back. I didn’t come here empty-handed. Look, that whole meltdown thing is history. The partners realize what they lost. I’m here to talk to you about coming back.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Not at all. Look, they had to hire two people to do your work and they still weren’t as efficient as you.” He reached across the table, his hand covering hers. “And they aren’t the only ones who miss you.”

So soft. His hand was actually soft. It shouldn’t have shocked her. She’d gone on weekly manicures with the man. She couldn’t imagine Jesse or Cade sitting around and letting someone clip their nails. Their hands were rough, callused from hard work. She shivered when she thought about how those hands made her feel. Safe. Wanted.

She pulled away from Patrick. It felt wrong to have him touch her. “What happened to Christina?”

She winced when she realized she’d left off the “Big Tits” part of Christina’s moniker because it really was a little rude.

He had the good sense to look ashamed. “She went back to the West Coast. The partners sent her there. She was far more trouble than she was worth. And I was an idiot. I got cold feet. I should have talked to you about it, but you can be really intimidating.”

“Yes, talking to me would have been better than sleeping with someone else.”

Stella walked up to the table, a notepad in her hand and a smile on her face. “Hey, there, hon.” She looked to Patrick, her smile fading. “I was sure you would be with Jesse today. Or Cade. Who’s your new friend?”

No judgment there. Damn. She felt like a kid who’d gotten caught with her fingers in the cookie jar. A blush crept up her throat. She didn’t owe Stella any explanations. None.

“I’m Patrick Welch, her fiancé. I’ve come to rescue the princess and take her back home where she belongs.”

Gemma groaned, wanting to barf a little. She used to think he was so charming. “Ex-fiancé. And Jesse and I are very casual.”

“That’s not what I heard, hon. And I hear that man is hopping mad. He’s been calling all over the county looking for you. Now I understand why. So is it true? Are you heading back to the city?”

Patrick leaned forward. “I thought you were involved with the one named Cade. Who the hell is Jesse?”

She ignored him, speaking to Stella instead. “I don’t know. Patrick here claims he can get my job back. I worked really hard for that job. It’s something to think about.”

Stella’s eyes turned soft and sympathetic. “You do need to think about it. It can be hard to choose between your personal life and your career. Hell, sometimes it’s hard to choose between your personal life and your pride. Just remember this. There’s no corner so small you can’t find your way out of. And don’t you let this slick talker sway you. You do what’s right for Gemma. Now, what can I get for you?”

Patrick frowned up at Stella. “I suppose I’ll try a salad. Can’t mess up a salad. Get me the Cobb salad, strawberry vinaigrette on the side.”

God, if she was even thinking about going back to New York, she needed to get back to her fighting weight. They might like curves in Colorado, but she would be judged for them in New York. “I’ll have the same but nix the strawberry and give me an oil and vinegar on the side.”

Stella’s foot tapped. “She’s allergic to strawberries, you know.”

Patrick shrugged. “I’m not. I would suggest you don’t get the orders mixed up.”

Stella turned back to her. “Yes, you need to do a whole lot of thinking, hon. I’ll be back.”

“The service here is horrible.” Patrick waved her off. “Now, let’s talk about how soon we can get out of here.”

It was too freaking much. And she hadn’t eaten a thing all day. She needed to sit down and cry. She only did it once a year and she’d already done it back when she’d gotten dragged from Patrick’s apartment. It was three months before she was scheduled for another crying jag.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” She scooted out of the booth and started walking toward the ladies’ room.

She was a woman who scheduled her emotions and who had no idea how to deal with them when they didn’t get with the plan. What the hell was she doing? Why hadn’t she jumped on Patrick’s offer? Not to be with him, of course. She was utterly over Patrick Welch. She wasn’t even tempted. He had nothing on Jesse and Cade.

She noticed the man they’d been sitting next to at Trio the night before. Blond and hunky, he looked up from his burger and then back at Patrick. He frowned and sighed as though he’d always known she’d be trouble.

Tears blurred her vision as she pushed past the door and into the small bathroom. Just two stalls, but she already felt better. That man was probably calling Jesse right now telling him she was hooked up with a tourist.

Stella was right. She was in a corner, and she didn’t know how to get out. She wasn’t even sure what she wanted anymore. She should want to go back. She should want her damn career back, but all she could think about was Bliss. And when she really thought about doing that job again, all she could see were pictures of those kids. No matter what the EPA said, something was wrong in that town and those children were suffering. Damn Nell. She was happier when those freaking kids had been names and ages on a page. She hadn’t thought about their pain. She hadn’t thought about what their parents must be going through.

She was the Ice Princess. When the hell had she started to melt?

“Oh, Beth, honey, you were totally right.” A pretty brunette walked through the door, followed by another brunette, though this one was visibly pregnant.

“I know a woman on the edge when I see her.” The pregnant one smiled shyly. “Hi, I’m Beth. This is Hope. You must be Gemma.”

Hope? The woman who’d had her job before. “How did you know?”

“We might not get off the G much,” Hope said. “But we listen to gossip on a daily basis. Are you okay?”

Gossip. Yeah, she understood that. And she also understood that women loved to kick each other when they were down. She dried her eyes. The crying jag would have to wait until the scheduled time. “I’m fine. I just have something in my eyes.”

“Do you need to talk about it?” Hope asked. The concern in her brown eyes was just about enough to get Gemma crying again.

But she’d been played too many times before. “There’s nothing to talk about. I must be allergic to something.”

“Is that the man from the YouTube video?” Beth asked.

Hope nudged her, her voice going low. “Beth, you can’t ask that.”

“If I don’t ask, then how will I know?”

“It’s really none of your business.” Gemma didn’t mean the words to come out so harshly, but they did and Hope flinched a little.

Beth didn’t. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she leaned against the counter. “It’s okay.”

“Pardon?”

“You’re safe here. We gossip and pry but we do it to help each other. I wasn’t born here. I come from a little town in Texas, and I grew up surrounded by some of the meanest women you can imagine.”

Gemma shook her head. “Oh, I can imagine a lot.”

“They called me Mouse. When I was little, they ignored me. When I got bigger, they liked to make fun of me. And they always loved to kick me when I was down. I often had something in my eyes. It’s hard. Even now it’s hard to think about it.”

There they were again. Stupid tears. She didn’t have a group of girlfriends she could talk to. She’d never really had a group. When she’d been younger, her parents had moved so often, she’d never formed strong friendships. Later, she’d concentrated on school because it was so much easier.

At the time she thought she was taking the hard road, eschewing the normal rituals, but now she wondered. Homework didn’t require emotional finesse. Homework never broke her heart.

“She’s right, you know.” Hope put a hand on her arm. “You really are safe here. We haven’t met, but I talk to Cam all the time, and he thinks you’re great. Cam and Nate are crazy about you. I did my job, but I admit I wasn’t like some gung ho girl. I felt really bad when Cam started bragging about all the things you’re doing at the station.”

Beth gave her friend a half hug. “You were worried about your crazy ex.”

Hope shook her head. “It wasn’t that. Well, not altogether. I never took on big projects like she has. And she’s so good with Mel. I’ll admit, he scared me at first.”

Gemma snorted a little. Mel was so not scary. “He was a little freaked out that the Trading Post couldn’t get fresh beets in. Apparently the ones at Jack’s in Del Norte are actually an alien ploy. So I found a co-op through Nell, and I called in an alien expert to pronounce the beets both organic and alien-free. Don’t look at me like it was some big thing. The alien expert is from Durango. I got him to come out by promising to buy one of his books. The Bliss County Library is now the proud owner of Alvin Marple’s Aliens and Us: The Truth About Roswell, Area 51, and The Today Show. Apparently he’s sure NBC is run by Reticulan Grays.”

Beth grinned, her hand over her belly. “See, you fit right in. Now you don’t have to tell us anything, but we’re here if you want to talk.”

“Full disclosure,” Hope said, holding her hands up. “I happen to know you’re sort of getting involved with Jesse and Cade, and you should know that I adore them. They saved my husbands’ lives a while back, but that doesn’t mean I won’t listen to you bitch about them. Even heroes can be jerks.”

“They saved someone?” Jesse had mentioned why they’d come to Bliss, but he’d left out that part.

Hope’s eyes got a little misty. “Oh, yes. My ex had sent some men to kill Jamie and Noah, but Jesse and Cade intervened. They risked themselves. They’re good men, Gemma. You couldn’t do any better. Now, how did they totally screw up? Because that look on your face isn’t about some job or the town. That’s a ‘man done me wrong’ face.”

Beth nodded her friend’s way. “Hope would know. Several men have done her wrong. At least one is dead. She can advise you.”

Gemma deeply envied their obvious closeness. What if she could find a little of that for herself? Was it worth taking the risk? “We’ve just been sort of dating. Nothing serious until last night. I still don’t think it’s serious with Cade. He told me he just wants sex.”

Hope laughed. “Yeah, that’s what Caleb told Holly. He’s engaged now. Men lie, Gemma. Well, maybe they don’t lie, but they aren’t very smart. Go on.”

“I didn’t think they needed to know that I’ve gotten a couple of letters.”

“Why would they need to know about your mail?” Beth asked.

Hope sent her a look. “I doubt she’s talking about junk mail.”

“I consider it junk. In my former line of work, we get people who don’t like us and threatening letters happen.”

Beth whistled. “I got the spanking of a lifetime for doing the very same thing. I know it seems reasonable to keep them out of it, but it isn’t worth the fight. You have to tell them.”

She wished she’d had the chance to tell them. “Nate told them. And then they tricked me into admitting I should have told them without telling me what I should be telling them and they made me scream with my mom in the next room. Not an angry scream, if you know what I mean.”

“Yes, I would kill Noah and James if they did that.”

Beth shrugged. “Trev would have done me the courtesy of offering me a gag. He has several. But let me ask you something, Gemma. Have you been casual about them all this time? Really think to yourself. Were you just kind of seeing them because you had nothing better to do or were you interested?”

She’d been interested. If she was really honest with herself, she’d been interested from the moment she saw them. Her heart had done a little flutter when she’d walked into the shop. Cade had been male perfection, and Jesse was so bad-boy-biker hot she’d hardly been able to stand it. She remembered her first thought had been to wonder if they were taken and how nice it would be to fall into a typical Bliss relationship. “I was serious. I am serious. But it’s complicated.”

She had a chance to go back to New York and rebuild her career. She couldn’t give that up. Could she?

Hope leaned over and gave her a hug. It was…nice. No fakey hugs from Hope Glen-Bennett. She pulled Gemma close and squeezed her. “You need to decide what you want. But you were wrong. You should have told them. If they care about you, even a little, then imagine how they feel right now knowing that you didn’t tell them. Knowing that Nate and Cam have been doing the job that should be theirs.”

She didn’t completely understand this. It was some code that was foreign to her. Maybe it would be best to pack up and leave with Patrick right away, but she knew she couldn’t. She would have to see them. Talk to them.

Figure out what she wanted.

“Thanks,” she whispered, her arms embracing Hope.

Beth smiled when Hope let Gemma go, her arms coming up. “Me, too! Hope and I were just talking about the fact that we need another girlfriend. Everyone’s in packs of threes. But Lucy works so much she can never go out with us. And she hates game night. You can be on our team.”

“Don’t let it scare you,” Hope said. “It’s mostly a way for the women to get together and drink. Although Beth won’t be doing that for a while. And neither will Jen Talbot. She’s only been pregnant for a few months, but she’s already cranky about missing cocktails.”

Beth winked as she pulled back. “I’m just glad I have someone to go through it with.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a card, pressing it to Gemma’s hand. “You call me if you need anything. Or if you just want to talk. I hope you stay.”

“You’re okay?” Hope asked.

She was as okay as she could be. “Yes.” She was going to have to swallow her pride and talk to Jesse and Cade before she made any real decisions. And she had to deal with Patrick. “I’m good. And thank you for the talk.”

She followed them out, kind of wishing she could sit down with them instead of dealing with her ex. She looked at him. His salad was in front of him, but he was attempting to talk on his cell.

“It’s going to be fine. Yes. We’ll be back in a couple of days. Don’t worry about it. You told me to get this done and I’ll do it. I just need time. Yes, I know what’s at stake.” He looked up and his eyes flared. “I’ll have to call you later.” His expression was right back to that smooth smile he plastered on his face at every client meeting. “Big case.”

There was always a big case. She sat down and looked at her salad. She really didn’t want it. She wanted a burger and fries and maybe a vanilla shake. Hal made perfect vanilla shakes. She picked up the fork in front of her and forced herself to eat a bite of ham and lettuce.

“Gemma,” Patrick’s voice went soft, his eyes huge in his face. “Gemma, babe, don’t panic.”

Why would she panic? “What?”

And then she felt it. Her tongue got thick, swelling in her mouth.

“That was my fork.”

Gemma took a long breath of air, knowing damn well it might be her last.