Chasing Paradise

Chapter 5

Disbelief and shock stole the words from Gwen’s mouth. All she could do was stare at Ethan across the kitchen table as he continued to talk, seemingly oblivious to her devastation. He couldn’t be serious. Yet she knew he was. He intended to move her to his home, in Colorado. Away from everything she knew. She’d have to leave her romp, her home, her friends and family who she’d been counting on to help her adjust to her new circumstances.

And giving up her job! Her work meant the world to her. It defined her. She’d worked her butt off to rise to management level, all for nothing. Did he just expect her to drop everything?

As he continued to elaborate on his plans, Gwen realized how pointless arguing would be. He was an officer in his pack, a position he claimed held almost as much power as the Premier, and owned a business with his brothers. There was no way he would completely change his life, especially not for a mate he didn’t even want to begin with. This wasn’t fair. Why did she have to be the one to give up everything? She was important to her pack, too. But the answer came to her before she could voice the question.

As much as Gwen liked to think she’d be fine without Ethan, that they could live completely separate lives, she knew her otter would slowly wither away without her mate. Her hands were tied as much as his had been in claiming her. She needed Ethan more than she needed her job and her family. One of them had to give up everything, and it appeared Ethan had no plans to give up his life. The insensitive alpha was as necessary to her as food or sleep.

Dejectedly, Gwen began planning her move. She’d need a couple days at the resort before leaving them. Her assistant manager was capable, but not ready to take over completely. She’d need at least a week to bring him up to speed.

Moving her possessions wouldn’t be a problem. Most of her furniture belonged to the hotel. Living at the resort her whole life had allowed her to bank most of her weekly paycheck. Lucky for her, she was currently sitting on quite a nest egg for anything she might need to replace.

A hazy idea began to form in her mind. A crazy idea. She’d never be able to pull it off. But, the possibility appealed to every side of her. Maybe she could do it if she got help. In fact, if it worked she could gain back some of what she was losing. Of course, she’d need to see the town first, to confirm her idea was possible, but she saw no reason to completely abandon the work she loved. If the town was anything like what Ethan described, a bed-and-breakfast might prove to be a very successful endeavor.

A B&B would certainly be different from the huge resort she managed, but it had potential to be even better. It would allow her more hands-on interaction with her guests, something she missed in her current job. This could give her life purpose, a bright spot in the future.

Everything else was manageable. She’d find a nearby lake to swim in. As long as there was some source of water, she’d be fine. And if she could, she’d take her most important friend with her. She could make this work.

Nothing about Gwen was quite what he expected. The gap between them stood out like a sore thumb and he had no idea how to mend it.

As soon as Ethan had begun talking about his plans to move Gwen home, she’d looked at him with something akin to horror. He tried to assuage her fears by telling her all the things he loved about Alpine Woods, but the more he talked the more upset she became. He grew desperate when he caught the tears in her eyes. The last thing he wanted was to make her unhappy. So he started telling her about the nearby lakes and his favorite fishing spots. Granted he always fished with a pole, but however she wanted to do it was fine by him.

Then suddenly, almost as suddenly as it had appeared, her depression flew away and she seemed excited, almost giddy. What could possibly be going through her head?

At least now she appeared happy. Her depression had made him fear he’d have to do something drastic. Leaving his home wasn’t anything he ever wanted to do, but if Gwen was unhappy there, his hands would be tied. He’d do whatever it took to keep his mate happy, no matter what it entailed.

Reaching out with the bond between them, Ethan tried to gain a deeper understanding of her emotions. He barely skimmed the edges of her mind before running into her block. Most mates were connected on multiple levels, having an eerie connection that let each know what the other was thinking, but Gwen held him at arm’s length.

If only he knew why she had erected this barrier between them and why she refused, even now, to take it down. Always before, he’d been able to charm women out of information–and clothes–but with Gwen he felt like an awkward teenager. He couldn’t seem to say anything right.

“I need to go back to California for a week or so. Get my affairs in order and make sure the romp is taken care of.”

“Of course. We can head there first.”

“I think it might be best if I go alone.” Her whispered words hung heavily in the air. “I’m going to be working, not playing. Besides, it will give us both a bit of time to think and you time to explain the situation to your family before I arrive.”

“What’s to explain? They’re going to love you.” Ethan flashed Gwen his most charming smile, the one he knew women swooned over, only to see her eyes narrow warily. It should frustrate him that she didn’t fall for his tricks, but for some odd reason, a wave of heat swept over him. But his desire fled when she spoke. The hard edge in her voice shocked him.

“I don’t want to hear over and over again about how an otter isn’t good enough for you. Just make sure it’s out of their system by the time I get there.”

Stunned, Ethan didn’t know how to respond. Was this the root of their problems? Gwen didn’t think she was good enough for him? Samantha, his brother’s mate, hadn’t believed his brother Jason would love an arctic fox, but her fears originated from her past. Gwen was the exact opposite. For Christ’s sake, she managed her entire romp. Two different people had threatened him just for trying to get close to her. She was loved and respected.

There’d been that moment when they’d first made love when insecurities had reared up, but he’d done his best to rid her of doubts. He’d thought he succeeded too, judging by the way she was prancing in front of him naked as the day she was born later that night.

“Gwen, my family would never judge you. They’re going to love you because you’re smart and funny and beautiful.” Why didn’t Gwen realize what a catch she was?

Harsh laughter interrupted him. “You don’t need to convince me. You need to convince them.” Gwen shrugged before continuing. “Plenty of breeds are elitists. I just don’t want to have to hear about how much better you could’ve done with someone different.”

No matter what Ethan said, his prejudices came from somewhere. Family seemed like the obvious choice. Being criticized for the rest of her life didn’t interest her one bit. Moving away from her home was going to be hard enough. She didn’t need to hear recriminations upon her arrival. Asking Ethan to act as a buffer was a perfectly reasonable request.

Later, Gwen apologized and said goodbye to Ty, who had heard everything and wasn’t above teasing her about it, much to Gwen’s embarrassment. Some things went with the territory of old friends. After Gwen and Ethan had re-packed her belongings, they took off for the airport.

It took some convincing, but Ethan finally agreed to separate. She thought she had needed time to adjust, but the farther she got from Ethan, the more she realized it was an empty victory. Almost as soon as she’d boarded the plane, her otter cried out, desperate for its wolf. The restless feeling continued throughout the flight, amplifying until she wanted to crawl out of her own skin. The more unpleasant the feeling became the more confused she got.

What had she been thinking to leave him again? The first time had been bad enough, and they hadn’t even been mated at the time. Now it was downright unbearable.

She had to constantly remind herself of her reasons. Time. She’d thought the time away would clear her head. God knew it wasn’t clear when he was around. But as more time passed, she realized how futile her efforts were. There was no way she was going to clear her head with her otter crying so loudly for her mate, pulling her back toward him until she felt as if she were split in two.