Crashed

CHAPTER 11

My heart feels so much lighter as I walk down the corridor back toward Colton’s room. I’ve texted his parents and Quinlan about him being awake again, and I’m sure they’ll be here momentarily. I head to the end of the hall, where the staff of the hospital has so graciously placed Colton’s room. His room is more private than most of the others so he can stay out of the sight of other hospital visitors. And there’s less chance of the media getting a coveted picture of him.

I’m just about to enter his room when I realize he might want some water. I turn around, not paying attention, and almost run head on into the one person I have no desire to see.

Ever.

At all.

Tawny.

We both startle when we see each other. And of course I’m looking ragged from intermittent sleep and days’ old clothes, while she is looking perfectly polished and camera ready. And I have to give her credit, she’s kept her distance since Becks gave her the dressing down in the waiting room. But when she offers me up a consolatory smile, I don’t care that it’s not meant in her usual catty way, because all of the emotions I’ve pent up over the past few days erupt.

“What are you doing here?” I spit out between gritted teeth. If you could make revulsion a sound, my voice would definitely be laced with it right now. My fingernails dig into my palms, my hands fist, and every muscle in my body is vibrating with indignation.

It takes a minute for the shock to fade from her face, but when it does, I recognize the mask of superiority slip in its place.

“Colton’s awake.” She shrugs, a smirk ghosting over her pink painted lips. “He wants to speak with me privately,” she says as she juts her chin out in case I didn’t already know her disdain for me.

“Anything that’s Colton’s business, is my business.”

“Keep dreaming, doll.”

“Wipe the smug look off your face, Tawny.”

“Are we feeling a little guilty for fucking with Colton’s head the night before a race. Everyone knows you were playing your little games with him. That you made him tired. That you—”

The air whooshes out of her when my hands grip her arms and shove her up against the wall, fury sheathed in calm. “Let me make something perfectly clear to you, Tawny. I’m only going to say it once, but it’s best you listen, understood?”

I watch her swallow, and her breath comes out in a shaky shudder as she nods. Her eyes flicker around the hallway but there is no one around to come to her rescue.

I lean in closer, fire in my veins and ice in my voice. “You are the reason that Colton is here. Not me. You. There’s a special place in hell for women like you—women who fuck with other women’s men—and if you keep your shit up, rest assured one of those spots is going to have your name written all over it.” I squeeze her arms a little harder, a silent warning that I’m just getting warmed up.

“Here’s how this is going to play out, just in case you haven’t gotten that new watch and are still living in the past. Colton’s no longer on the market. He’s mine and I’m his. Is that clear?” I don’t care that she doesn’t respond because I’m on a roll and nothing’s going to stop me. I see her eyes widen and I continue. “Second, if you ever try to insinuate or imply to anyone that there is anything more between you and Colton than a business relationship with family ties, you’re going to have to deal with me … and I guarantee that it’s not going to be pretty. You haven’t seen anything yet, doll. I protect what’s mine without a second thought to collateral damage.” She tries to shrug her shoulders out of my grip, and that just causes me to lean in closer and squeeze a little tighter. “You will treat me with respect and keep your gaggle of whoring friends away as well.”

Despite my hands holding her hostage, she regains some of her composure and responds. “Or what?”

I continue on as if she never speaks. “You will keep your relationship with Colton completely professional and will keep your tits and other assets out of his face. Is that clear enough or do I need to spell it out for you?”

I loosen my grip, message delivered, although I feel no better for it because Colton is still in the bed on the other side of the wall. Tawny eyes me up and down. “Oh I think you’ve made it crystal clear … too bad you don’t get that Colton needs me in his life.”

In a heartbeat I slam her back up against the wall, this time my forearm pushes against her chest and my face is within inches of hers. “Your expiration date was years ago, sweetie. I am all he needs. And if you attempt to show him otherwise, that very prestigious job of yours might just go bye-bye … so I’d definitely think twice before opening your mouth again.” I start to walk away but turn back and glare at her, her eyes reflecting the anger in mine. “Oh, and, Tawny? Colton will not know about this conversation. That way you can keep your job and he can keep the notion that his childhood friend and college sweetheart really is the nice person he believes her to be, and not the underhanded bitch you really are.”

“He’d never believe you. I’m still here, aren’t I?” She says the words to my back, and I turn slowly trying to gain some semblance of control over the inferno of rage boiling just beneath the surface.

“Yeah, for now,” I say with a raise of an eyebrow and a disbelieving shake of my head, “but the clock’s ticking, doll.” Tawny starts to speak but I cut her off. “Try me, Tawny. Try me, because there’s nothing I’d rather do than prove to you how serious I am right now.”

“Is there a problem here?” The voice jolts me out of my rage induced haze as I look over to the nurse from earlier, who’s now leaving Colton’s room.

I look from her and then back at Tawny for a second. “No problem,” I say, saccharine lacing my tone. “I was just taking out the trash.” I shoot Tawny one more warning look before I take the ten steps to Colton’s room and enter it with a smile plastered on my face.

I breathe out in relief that Dr. Irons is busy examining Colton when I enter the room, because I need a minute to settle my thundering pulse and calm my fingers trembling from anger. Colton glances up and smiles softly at me before focusing back on the doctor and answering his questions.

I exhale the shaky breath I was holding and see Beckett angle his head as he looks at me, bemusement in his eyes as he tries to figure out why my cheeks are so flushed. I just shake my head at him, and at that moment, Dr. Irons decides to remove the bandage from Colton’s head.

I have to withhold the gasp that instinctively wants to escape from my lips at the sight. There is a shaved patch of hair with a two inch diameter circle of staples on the upper portion of the right side of his skull. It’s still swollen and the silver staples juxtaposed against the pink incision with the dark red of the dried blood make a ghastly contrast.

Colton must see the look on my face because he looks over at Beckett while Dr. Irons examines the incision and says, “How bad?”

Beckett just chews the inside of his cheek and twists his lips as he looks at it and then back at Colton. “It’s pretty nasty, dude.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Beckett says and nods his head.

“Whatever.” Colton shrugs with nonchalance. “It’s just hair. It’ll grow back.”

“Think of the serious sympathy points you could get with Rylee though if you play it up.”

Colton glances over at me and smirks. “I don’t need any sympathy points with her.” I’m about to speak when his gaze shifts over my shoulder. “Tawny.”

My back bristles instantly but I try to smooth it down as best as I can. I’ve said my piece. I’ve given her enough rope to hang herself; let’s just see if she chooses to swing or stand.

“Hey,” she says softly. “It’s good to see you awake.”

I step to the side of the bed next to Colton—staking my claim in case I hadn’t made it crystal clear earlier—and reach out to squeeze his right hand, noting its strength has still not returned.

“It’s good to be awake,” Colton replies as he winces at Dr. Irons’ intrusive fingertips against his scalp and hisses in a breath of air. “Give me a minute, okay?”

“Sure.”

We all stand there quietly watching Colton until the exam is over and the doctor steps back. “So what other questions do you have, Colton, because I’m sure you have some besides what we spoke about earlier?”

Colton looks over to me and I’m sure he sees the dare in my eyes because mirth begins to dance in his. He works his tongue in his cheek as his grin widens with a lift of his eyebrows.

“Not yet, young man.” Dr. Irons laughs out in amusement as he guesses the question and pats him on the knee. I’m sure embarrassment stains my cheeks but I don’t even care. “What I wouldn’t give to be in my early thirties again,” he sighs.

Colton laughs and looks over at me, eyes locking, sexual tension crackling, and the underlying ache starting to smolder. “At any time and in any place, sweetheart,” he repeats the words back to me he’d said the night we met.

Everyone else in the room ceases to exist. My insides coil with craving from his words and the salacious look in his eyes. The muscle in his jaw tics as he stares at me for a beat before looking back at Dr. Irons. He shrugs in mock apology as a mischievous grin lifts one corner of his mouth.

“Sorry, Doc, but you gave me a rule and that just tempts me to break it that much more."

Dr. Irons shakes his head at Colton. “So noted, son, but the ramifications of …” he continues on in warning about needing to watch the pressure of blood flowing through the major arteries in his brain while they heal, and thus certain strenuous activities can cause that pressure to be stronger than is safe at this stage of healing. “Anything else?”

“Yes,” Colton says, and I don’t miss the look that passes between him and Beckett. He pulls his eyes back to the doctor’s and says, “When will I be cleared to race again?”

Of all the questions I had expected him to ask, it wasn’t that. And of course I’m stupid for hoping that on the off chance Colton might not want to race again, but hearing him actually say it causes panic to course through me. As much as I try to hide the mini-anxiety attack his words have evoked, my body instinctively tenses, my hands jerking tight around his hand while my breath audibly catches in my throat.

Colton averts his eyes from Dr. Irons momentarily to look into mine. Obviously Dr. Irons senses my discomfort because he waits a beat before answering. And during that time, Colton’s eyes convey so much to me but at the same time are guarding his deepest thoughts. The moment I start to catch more, he looks away and back to the doctor.

This immediately puts me on edge, and I can’t quite place why. And that scares the shit out of me. The unknown in a relationship is brutal, but with Colton? It’s a downright mindfuck.

My pulse is racing from Colton’s question alone, and now I have to worry about the cryptic warning in his eyes? What the fuck is going on? Maybe like Dr. Irons said earlier, his emotions and disposition have been affected by the accident. I try to tell myself this is the reason—to play it off as such—but deep down I hear warning bells and when it comes to our relationship, that’s never a good sign.

Dr. Irons snaps me from my turbulent thoughts with the clearing of his throat. And I fear how he is going to answer Colton’s question. “Well …” He sighs and looks down at his iPad before looking back up to meet Colton’s gaze. “Since I’m getting the sense that whatever I tell you not to do, will just encourage you to do it even faster—”

“You’re a quick learner,” Colton teases.

Dr. Irons just sighs again, trying to fight the smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. “Normally I’d tell you that getting back in the car is a bad idea. That your brain has been jarred around enough and even when your skull is fully healed, it will still have a weak spot where the bone has reconnected and that could be dangerous … but I know no matter what I say you’re going to be back on the track, aren’t you?”

I have no option but to sit down now because despite how calm I appear on the outside, my insides have just been shredded by Dr. Irons’ correct assumption.

Colton blows out a long breath and looks out the window for a bit, and for just a moment I notice the chink in his armor. It’s fleeting, but it’s there nonetheless. He may never admit it, but he’s scared to get in the car again. Scared to recall the moments during the crash that he can’t remember right now. Afraid he might get hurt again. And he’s so consumed by his thoughts that he doesn’t notice that he’s withdrawn his hand from mine.

“You’re right,” he finally says, and chills immediately blanket my body. “I will. I have no other choice … but I’ll follow your advice and wait until I’m medically cleared. I’ll have my doctors in California connect with you to make sure nothing is missed.”

Dr. Irons swallows and nods his head. “Okay, well I’m going to bank on the fact that you’re a sensible guy … well, as sensible as one can be that drives two hundred miles an hour for a living.” Colton smiles at the comment. “I’ll be back to check on you later.”

Dr. Irons leaves and for a moment there is an awkward silence between the four of us. I imagine it’s because all of us are secretly wondering what it’s going to be like if—no when—he hops back in the race car, but no one says anything.

Dread weighs heavy on me, and I have no clue how I’m going to be able to handle it. How I’m going to be able to watch him climb inside a car nearly identical to the one he almost died in.

Colton breaks the startled silence. “Becks?”

“Yeah.” Becks steps forward and stares at his friend.

“Make sure to tell Eddie that he needs to get my records from Dr. Irons so we can study my injury. See how we can make it complement the HANS even better.”

I know Colton is talking about the top secret safety device he was wearing during the accident. The one that CD Enterprises is getting ready to submit for patent protection, so I’m not sure why Beckett’s face falls. I watch his eyes dart over to Tawny momentarily, a flash of worry flickering through them, before looking back at Colton.

“What, Becks? What aren’t you telling me?” Obviously Colton notices the reaction too.

Becks clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “You fired Eddie a couple of months ago, Colton.”

“What? C’mon, Becks. Quit fucking with me and just get the records for him, okay?”

“I’m not fucking with you. A second set of schematics disappeared. With his gambling debts and other issues, too many factors pointed to him, so you fired him,” Beckett says as Colton’s eyes flicker around the room, his head toggling back and forth as if he’s trying to comprehend what he’s being told.

“Seriously?” When Becks just nods, Colton looks over at Tawny and she nods too. “Fuckin’ A,” he grits out as he rolls his shoulders and stares out the window for a moment before looking back at Beckett. “Stealing? I don’t remember that at all.” His voice is dead quiet and full of disbelief.

I reach out and squeeze his hand, causing him to look over and meet my eyes. “Hey, it’s okay. It’ll come back. It’s only temporary,” I say, trying to reassure him as best as I can.

“But … if I don’t remember something like that, what else don’t I remember that I don’t even know about?” His eyes swim with confusion and he grimaces momentarily causing my heart to speed up with worry.

“Don’t worry about it, dude. Think of all the crap you can claim amnesia on that normally you’d get shit for.”

Thank God for Becks and his easygoing personality because even though I can still see Colton struggling as he tries to grasp everything, I can also feel some of the tension relax from his hand that I’m holding. I meet Becks’ eyes, a silent thank you passing between us.

Tawny clears her throat softly and all of a sudden it’s like we all snap from our private thoughts with the sound. Colton breathes in deeply and says, “Tawny, I need you to issue a press release right away.”

“What would you like it to say?” Ms. Ever-efficient asks while walking to the bedside opposite me, as Colton gathers his thoughts. And with just the slightest glance my way, she refocuses on him and softens her voice. “Colton?”

“Yeah?” he answers, raising his eyes to meet the question in her voice.

She reaches out and squeezes his bicep, her eyes roaming over his wound before withdrawing her hand when he doesn’t respond. “I’m so glad that you’re okay.”

I can hear the sincerity in her voice—know she means it—but it still doesn’t make me like her any more.

“Coulda been a lot worse from what I’m told, so I’ll get there.” Colton takes a sip of water while his brow furrows in concentration. “Tell them I’m awake and have been for a day or so. I’m on the road to recovery and will be heading back to California within the week, once I’m cleared, and returning to the track in no time. Thank them for their support and prayers, and instead of any flowers or gifts, I’d rather they make a donation to Corporate Cares. The boys need it more than I do.”

Tawny looks up from her phone where she’s typing all of this and asks, “What about your memory loss?”

“None of their business,” Colton says, glancing up at Becks again, a silent understanding passing between them. “That’s all.” Tawny lifts her focus from her phone and looks at Colton as if she doesn’t understand. “You can go now,” he says to her, and I have to hide the look of shock on my face at the unexpected dismissal.

Tawny’s head snaps up as she shoves her phone in her purse. “Well, um, okay,” she says, color staining her cheeks as she heads for the door.

“Hey, Tawn?” Colton’s words stop her and the acid in his tone surprises the hell out of me.

“Yes?” she asks as she turns around to face the two of us side by side.

“After you issue the press release, you can get your stuff and head back home.”

She angles her head and stares at Colton for a moment, confusion flickering over her face. “It’s okay. It’s better if I stay here and deal with the media—”

“No,” Colton says. “I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.” Tawny’s tongue darts out and wets her bottom lip as nerves start to eat at her. She takes a step toward the bed as he begins to explain. “We’ve known each other, what? Most of our lives? Long enough for you to know that I don’t like being fucked with.” Colton leans forward as her eyes widen and I hold my breath in disbelief at the ice in his voice. “You fucked with me, T. And more importantly you fucked with Rylee. Now that? That I most definitely remember. Game over. Pack your shit. You’re fired.”

I hear Beckett suck in a breath. At the same time Tawny sputters out, “Wh-what? Colton, you—”

“Save it.” Colton holds up a hand to stop her and shakes his head in disappointment. “Save your ridiculous excuses and go before you make things any worse for yourself.”

She just stares at him, blinking away the tears before glancing over at Beckett, spinning on her heels, and rushing out of the room.

I watch her leave, trying to fathom what it would be like to be in her shoes. To lose both your job and the man you’ve believed is yours.

And as I hear Colton breathe out a huge sigh beside me, I actually feel sorry for her.

Well … not really.