Craving Candy

Chapter Seventeen

Lucas threw himself into his work. He wasn’t sleeping and spent all his time either working out or baking. In fact, his shop had never been so well stocked and running so efficiently. He even had all of his paperwork up-to-date. Thankfully, T. S. had let him know that he’d seen Candy home safe and sound— otherwise he would have gone out of his mind with worry.

Awake, he tormented himself with the images of their last night together. His crude demands and rough treatment replayed like a never-ending loop in his brain, torturing him. Several times a day, he picked up the phone to call her just to ask if she was all right. But each time he did, he hung up again. He didn’t deserve to know.

And asleep… that was worse than when he was awake. Every night, he dreamed of Candy. Long, hot, erotic dreams filled with her loving him in every way imaginable. Last night’s had been the worst, or the best, depending on how he felt at any given moment. Naked and glistening in the moonlight, she’d climbed on top of him and taken him inside her. Then she’d ridden him slowly at first, gradually moving faster and faster until they’d both come.

Lucas shuddered. He hadn’t had a wet dream since he was a teenager, but he’d had one last night. But what was worse was the empty sense of longing he’d had when he’d awoken and found his arms and his bed empty. But it was for the best, he reminded himself. He loved her too much not to protect her, even if that meant he lost her.

He’d taken off after work and gone for a long walk. He’d wandered the city streets for hours, ignoring the bite of the winter air as it whipped past him. He’d hoped to clear his head, but it hadn’t helped. If anything, his thoughts were even more jumbled than before.

Unlocking the side door of the building, he let himself in and locked the door behind him. T. S.’s van was still parked outside even though quitting time had been several hours ago.

Climbing the stairs, he wondered if T. S. wanted to split a pizza and a few beers. He could use the distraction. As he rounded the corner and headed up the next flight, he heard the clunk of work boots coming toward him. His friend bound down the stairs, obviously on his way home.

“Hey, man. About time you got home.”

Lucas paused on the stairs. “I went out for a walk.” He shrugged and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his leather coat. “I thought it might help.”

“Did it?” T. S. came to a halt a few steps above him, his expression concerned.

Once again, he shrugged. “Not really.” Sighing, he dragged his hands back out of his pockets and shoved one hand through his hair. “You want to go get a pizza or something?”

“Or something,” he muttered. Shaking his head, T. S. continued on down the stairs until he was even with Lucas. “I’ve got to go. Just remember that no matter what, I’ve only done what I thought was best for you.”

That sounded ominous. “What have you done?” His brow furrowed as he stared at his friend, trying to read his expression. But T. S. was very good at hiding his emotions.

“Only what I had to do. Hopefully, once you get over being mad, you’ll thank me.” He glanced down at his watch. “I gotta go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He left Lucas standing there and hurried down the stairs. The door slammed shut behind him as he left the building.

Shaking his head, Lucas continued up the stairs to his apartment. He supposed he’d find out what that was all about eventually. Mentally, he ran through the contents of his refrigerator. There wasn’t much there. Perhaps he’d order a pizza for himself.

Unlocking the door to his apartment, he let himself into the dark interior. Removing his leather coat, he hung it up on a hook just inside the door before he bent over and yanked off his boots. The walk and the cold wind had tired him, and he reached his arms above his head and stretched. He stood there debating between a long, hot shower and ordering some supper for himself.

A slight shuffling sound caught his attention and he froze. Someone was in his apartment. The snap of a lamp being turned on was unnaturally loud and the brightness from the overhead light momentarily blinded him. He froze as his vision returned, unable to believe his eyes.

“Hello, Lucas.” Candy was curled up on his sofa, waiting for him. A soft smile lit her beautiful face.

“What are you doing here?” Her smile faded at his harsh tone, but there was nothing he could do about that. He had to get her out of here fast before he gave in to temptation, tossed her over his shoulder, dragged her to his bedroom and fucked her all night long. He’d kill T. S. for this, because there was no doubt in his mind that it was his friend who’d let her in. He was the only other person with keys.

Uncurling her legs, she stood. Only her thin stockings covered her feet and her toes curled against the area rug. Lucas wanted to pluck her into his arms and carry her so her feet wouldn’t be cold. Propping his hands on his waist, he glared at her as she padded across the floor toward him.

She didn’t stop until she was standing right in front of him, her toes touching his. It hit him just how much smaller than him she really was. Her personality was so huge and the high heels that she favored made her seem much larger than she truly was. In truth, she was a tiny bundle of curves. He almost smiled as he pictured how she’d bristle if he said such a thing to her.

The urge to smile left him when she placed her hand on his chest. “I came to talk to you.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” It was ridiculous that a woman about eight inches shorter and about eighty pounds lighter could hold him in place with just the touch of one hand. But it was true. Lucas didn’t think he could force himself to move away from her touch if his life depended on it. “It was a great time, but it’s over.” He stared at a spot over her shoulder, refusing to look at her.

“What are you so afraid of, Lucas?” Her soft question struck him like a physical blow. How could she even ask him that after what had happened the last time they were together?

The scowl on his face had been known to make grown men flinch with fear. Lucas slowly lowered his gaze to hers, but instead of being frightened, she looked almost serene. For some reason, that fired his temper all the more. “What am I afraid of?” His voice was mocking. “What am I afraid of?” His voice was louder now. “What the hell do you think I’m afraid of?” The last question was half shouted as he gripped her by the shoulders and shifted her away from him. The temptation to shake some sense into her was almost overwhelming. Didn’t she have any concept of self-preservation?

“Yourself? Me?” She stepped closer to him again. “Both?”

“You have no right to be in my apartment.” Lucas stepped back out of her reach as he searched for her coat. The quicker he got her out of here, the better.

“I know.” She followed him as he turned and walked away from her. “I know I hurt you the other day and I’m sorry for that. It was a knee-jerk reaction because of my own past.” Like a terrier, she nipped at heels. He couldn’t shake her or her words. “My own father spent most of his life in prison, and my brother’s been there as well. I know what that did to my mother and to me. It was the last thing I wanted for myself.”

Lucas halted so suddenly that Candy slammed into his back. He whirled around and caught her before she tripped and fell. No wonder she’d reacted to the news like she had. He didn’t blame her for not wanting a man with such a dark past in her life. But she wasn’t finished.

Grabbing onto the front of his T-shirt, she kept talking. “But it didn’t take me long to realize that you’re not like my father at all. He was always making promises he couldn’t keep and blaming other people for everything that went wrong in his life. But you…” She gripped his shirt even tighter. “You’re a man of integrity. You work hard and if you say you’re going to do something, it’s as good as done. No matter what’s happened in your past, it doesn’t matter. I know you had your reasons.”

The pain almost brought him to his knees. These were the words he’d longed to hear. And maybe if he’d heard them before he’d manhandled her the other night, they would have made a difference. But the other night had been a reminder of the tainted blood flowing through his veins. He had a temper and a history of violence that he’d tried to leave behind him. But it always lurked, just under the surface. He knew what he was capable of doing. And it scared him.

She looked so earnest staring up at him. Her chocolate brown eyes were huge and luminous with unshed tears. Once again, he was hurting her even though it was the very last thing he wanted to do. He cupped her face in his hands. “Thank you for that, Candy. But it’s still over between us.”

“Why?” She covered his hands with her own, trapping them against the softness of her cheeks. “Why is it over?”

He decided that honesty was the only way out. Once he told her the truth, she’d understand why she had to leave. “Because I’ll only hurt you in the long run.”

“I don’t understand.”

He gently pulled his hands away and paused to push a lock of hair back behind her ear. “I know.” He didn’t want to see the look of disgust on her face and the fear that was sure to come, but he knew he no longer had a choice. “My father beat me and my mother.”

No longer able to look at Candy, he turned and walked across the room and stared blindly out the window. “He was angry all the time. Anything and everything set him off.” Lucas tried to block out the memories that threatened. “I’d come home from working at the market and had fallen into bed. I’d been saving my money and was planning to move out in less than a month. It was the screams that woke me.”

The world outside the window faded as the past replayed in his mind. “I don’t know why that night was different from any other. It just was. My mother was bleeding when I got to the living room and I challenged the old man, told him to leave her alone.” He shook his head at his own stupidity. “I was tall but scrawny back then, and my father was a huge man. But I was so angry. It was as if a red haze enveloped me and I wanted to kill him. Next thing I knew, he was lying on the floor unconscious and my mother was telling me to run before the cops got there. The neighbors always called the cops. But it was too late.”

The glass was cool against his fingers when he laid his hand against it. “I was arrested, sent to trial and found guilty. Didn’t seem to matter what the old man had done.” Lowering his hand, he turned around, surprised to find Candy right behind him. He hadn’t heard her approach.

“What happened to your mother?”

Lucas closed his eyes against the pain, the memory as sharp as it had been all those years ago. “He beat her to death not long after I went to prison.”

“Oh, Lucas.” Her arms wrapped around him, her grip surprisingly strong as she hugged him. “I’m so sorry.” He could hear the tears in her voice as she sniffed and buried her face against his chest.

This was the first time he’d ever shared his sorrow over his mother’s death with anyone else. No one had ever hugged him and told him they were sorry or shed tears for him. T. S. knew what had happened, and so did Katie, but both of them had always respected his right to bear it alone. But not Candy.

His arms slid around her waist, pulling her tight to him. He lowered his head, nuzzling his face against the softness of the curve of her neck, reveling in her caring as she reached up and stroked her hand through his hair. But reality finally intruded and he made himself step away from her once again. “Now you see why it’s over between us.”

Her eyebrows came together as she frowned at him. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you and your mother. But I don’t understand what that has to do with us.”

Lucas’ already frayed temper began to heat up again. “Because I’m like my father, Candy. His blood runs through my veins. I look in the mirror every single day and see his face staring back at me. I’m capable of beating a man almost to death.” Swearing, he stalked away, prowling around the room. “Then there’s the other night.”

“What about the other night?” He could hear the caution in her voice.

“I took you without care or control the other night. I was no better than an animal, lashing out at you in anger. I hurt you, Candy.” He was in agony now, just wanting her to leave so he could lick his wounds in private. He’d never felt so emotionally exposed in his entire life. “I won’t risk your safety.”

“That is the biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard.”

He whirled around and she was right behind him. Anger raced through him. How dare she make light of this! He’d just laid himself emotionally bare before her and she was mocking him. “It’s not bull.”

She poked her index finger at his chest. “Yes. It. Is.” She spaced each word carefully as if he wouldn’t understand her any other way. “You’re a coward.”

A fury unlike anything he’d ever experience enveloped him. How dare she accuse him of being a coward? “Don’t push me, sugar. You won’t like what happens.”

“Oh, yeah?” She got right in his face, practically boring a hole in his chest with her finger. “What are you going to do?” she demanded. “Hit me?”

It was as if all the blood drained from his body. “God, no. I would never hit you, sugar.” He felt himself sway on his feet.

“Exactly.” She wrapped her hands around his neck and forced his head downward until he was staring right at her, their noses practically touching. “You would never hurt me physically.”

“But the other night—”

She interrupted him. “Was the most erotic experience of my life.”

He could see the sincerity in her eyes. But most of all, he could see the love. A weight seemed to fall away from him as the significance of what had just happened finally seemed to seep into him. Yes, he had come from violence and was capable of violence, but never against her or anyone he truly loved.

“Lucas, your past has made you the man you are. You’re so controlled and self-contained it’s almost scary. Yes, we’ll probably fight and yell at each other.” She laughed. “We’re both such strong-willed people, I don’t think we can avoid that. But.” She stroked her hand over his face and smiled at him. “You’ll never hit me. You’re not capable of harming a woman.”

Her belief in him humbled him. And her hand on his face and the closeness of her body was arousing him unbearably. His earlier anger had transmuted itself into lust. He wanted Candy. No, he needed her. He needed to claim her as his, once and for all.

“Be sure, sugar. Because once I take you, there’s no going back.” His cock was rockhard beneath his jeans and the urge to fuck her was all-consuming.

In answer, she whipped her blouse over her head and dropped it to the floor. “I certainly hope not.” Her smile was wicked and filled with erotic promise as she turned and sauntered toward the bedroom, her lush hips swaying gently from side to side.

The pure, unadulterated happiness that filled him was only superseded by the lust for this woman that pounded through his body. She was his and once he claimed her, he would never let her go.

Swooping down on her, he caught her up in his arms and tossed her over his shoulder. She laughed and reached down and squeezed his butt in response. He swatted her bottom playfully as she did it again. And her shrieks of delight mixed with his own low laughter as he carried her into the bedroom and kicked the door shut behind him.