Free Fall

_{Chapter 15}

Lily could hardly drive the Sno-Cat, and it had nothing to do with the fact that more snow had fallen in a single twelve-hour period then she'd ever seen, or that it was still snowing.

It had everything to do with a few little, harmless words that when strung together equaled terror. Logan thought he was falling in love with her. Love. The weight of that felt too heavy, far too heavy a load for her to carry.

The snow was coming down harder now and Matt was out there in it. She figured Sara was overreacting as usual, that he could be back already, but she searched the area for him anyway, as she drove toward the front of the lodge. She glanced over at Logan. Did he really almost love her? She couldn't stop the words from repeating themselves in her head, or the low but thoroughly riveting tone in his voice when he'd said them.

Utter confidence. Complete belief.

Her heart hadn't stopped pounding since. What if she was falling, too? She couldn't think of anything worse because love would ruin everything. No matter what he'd promised, there'd be expectations, frustration. Hurt.

As she pulled up to the front of the lodge, Sara raced down the stone steps toward her. Only a narrow strip had been shoveled, and Lily nearly swallowed her heart at how quickly and carelessly Sara moved on the slick path, without a coat or a hat, or even the right boots. Lily hopped out and jammed her own beanie on her sister's head. "Are you crazy?" She wrapped her nice and toasty jacket around Sara, as well. "And you call me irresponsible."

"He's hurt, I just know it."

"Okay, take it easy. Who did Debbie leave him up there with?"

"Himself." This from Debbie as she came down the steps. Unlike Sara, she was dressed for the weather, but her eyes, usually cool and sardonic, were filled with worry.

"Damn it," Lily said. "It's against the rules to be up there alone."

"Since when do you care about the rules?" Sara cried. "Just find him."

The words felt like a hard one-two punch to the stomach. Since when do you care about the rules? How many damn years had she been respectable, responsible, and still, still she got no credit for it? She'd brood over that good and hard, but it would have to be later, when Matt was back safe and sound, when Logan was out of her heart and she was alone to lick her wounds in private.

Sara covered her own face. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"Forget it."

"No, I won't. I can't. I'm just so damn scared." Reaching out, she hugged Lily hard. "I know you've changed. I know it drives you crazy when we treat you like a baby. I do it all the time, and yet here I am asking you to save my life."

"Mart's."

"He is my life." A sob escaped her and Lily felt her heart crack.

"We'll find him."

"I love him ridiculously, Lily. Just like I love you. Go save my foolish husband for me. Like only you can."

"Tell me what you know," Lily said to Debbie.

"I wanted to ride before I left," Debbie said. "No one else could take me out, you were all busy."

"Working," Lily said. "You might want to try it sometime."

Debbie stared at her, then nodded in silent acknowledgement of the barb hitting home. "He took me to the top. He wanted to go down Sunrise Row to see how great the powder skiing would be for tomorrow, or whenever you got the lifts going again. But he didn't come back."

"And now I can't get him on the radio." Sara's teeth were chattering. "What are we going to do?"

"You're going to go back inside," Lily said. "I'm going up there to go look for him. Get on the radio and pull staff in from snow removal to get on the search, as well. Tell them what you told me about where he was last seen, and that he was solo." She glared at Debbie, who shocked her by looking so miserable that Lily didn't say what was on her mind but instead turned away.

Debbie grabbed her wrist. "Tell me you can find him."

"I can find him."

"I'm sorry, Lily."

"Just go get warm."

Lily wasn't surprised when Logan followed her to the garage and got on a snowmobile next to her. He slid his helmet on and smiled grimly. "Looks like it's still an us thing."

"Looks that way." She started her snowmobile and thought, And it feels good. Scary good.

So much to think about. Too much for now. The snow was like a thick, blinding curtain that she wished she could shove out of her way. Their window between snowfalls had turned out to be much shorter than expected. It was late afternoon now, not that she could tell given how dull the daylight was. White, white, white everywhere, and depth perception was long gone. But she knew this mountain like the back of her hand, and took the first hill, pausing at the top.

"There!" Logan had to shout over the roar of the engines when he stopped next to her. "See those faint tracks?"

"The snowfall is taking them out."

"We'll have to hurry," he agreed.

They climbed the next hill, higher now. With the lifts still and nobody around, things seemed strangely alien. Lily looked around, and at the lack of any tracks or sign of Matt, at the snow falling, dumping, she felt a building frustration, and a fear. Debbie had turned around here-they could just make out her tracks going back down.

So where was Matt? He knew how hormonal Sara was, and even befuddled by those hormones, he always catered to her feelings and respected them.

That he hadn't been in touch was a bad sign. "Okay, down Sunrise Row. Debbie said that was his plan. He's not big on plans, but maybe this time he stuck to his."

"Wait." Logan reached out and grabbed her arm when she would have gone on. "There. See? I think he went up higher here, not down."

She studied the ground and saw what she'd missed. Sunken tracks nearly completely hidden by fresh snowfall to their left, a trail that would have taken Matt around and up the next hill.

"Come on." Logan let go of her arm and steered his snowmobile after the tracks. It was tough going with so much powder. The snowmobiles were forced to work extra hard, and it took all Lily's concentration not to get stuck. At the top of the next hill, the highest accessible point of the mountain, there were indeed faint tracks.

The incline was sharp and slippery here. Dangerous. If they stayed on one of the high drifts, they could get bogged down in all the powder and end up stuck, something Lily knew from experience could take forever to dig out of. But if they stayed on the sides where the snow hadn't stuck to the packed ice, they faced a slide.

By mutual consent, they risked the drifts. After a few moments, they came close to a jutting peak, not too far from where they'd rescued Pete. Logan gestured to Lily to stay back, then veered toward it himself. "Logan, no!"

But he was gone.

"Damn it." She leaped off her snowmobile and sank into snow nearly up to her thighs. Swearing, she climbed back on and took it as close to the edge as she dared, sagging with relief when she saw Logan still on his snowmobile, about fifteen feet ahead and down the lip of the face. Only feet from the sharp drop-off. "Logan, careful!"

He couldn't possibly hear her over the roar of the engines and the helmet on his head. Heart in her throat, she went after him, praying the snowmobiles held their traction.

Ahead of her, Logan slowed his, then came to a stop. Leaping off, he sank into the snow.

She hopped off, too, practically had to swim through the thick powder toward him.

"He drove along the ridge far ahead," he said. "See?"

"But that's suicide."

"It is to you, because you know the terrain and you know how unstable and dangerous the snow and ice are. But Matt isn't a ski patroller. He's not out here every day. He doesn't know."

But you do, she thought. He'd make it his business to know such things. Looking at him, his long tough body crouched low in the snow, his eyes intent and sharp on the terrain around them as he tracked a man he didn't really know and by rights shouldn't have cared about, an emotion came over her, strong and hot. Uncontainable.

He glanced over at her, and misunderstanding the expression on her face, he shoved up the face guard on his helmet and reached for her hand. "We'll find him, Lily."

At her hip, her walkie-talkie squawked. It was Sara. Chris had set up crews, they were coming up, fanning out. And was there any sign of her husband?

Lily promised her they were close, that they thought they'd found his tracks, and as she said it she silently hoped to God she was telling the truth.

They got back on their snowmobiles and continued to move across the treacherous lip of the cliff, slowly now, not wanting to miss anything. The trees were thick here, with high drifts of snow between them. More was coming down at a shocking rate. She was cold, afraid, shaken, hating that they were searching for Matt, that he could be injured or worse. But there was no denying it-she'd missed this, missed being out here, and she envied Logan for being able to do this every day if necessary. This is what she'd been born to do. She had the skills and experience, needed to be out here where she belonged.

Inheriting the resort had been a shock, and she was grateful to her grandma for giving her the experience, the chance to learn the ropes inside and out and to deal with the responsibility, but…and this was a big but…she knew now it wasn't for her.

This was for her.

Impossibly, the snow fell harder, in huge, silent flakes, and the urgency doubled. They had to hurry before there were no tracks to follow at all. Maintaining control took everything Lily had, and she kept glancing at Logan to make sure he was okay, which he definitely was. She supposed years in a helicopter in all sorts of dangerous situations had taught him to be prepared for anything.

Still, if they found Matt here, injured, she had no idea how they would be able to extricate him, not in this weather on this sharp precipice. They were nearly at a crawl now, and then they stopped altogether.

Though Logan was only a few feet from her, the blinding snow made him invisible to her. Then his hand reached through the driving snow and grabbed hers. "Lily."

She knew what he was going to say and shook her head. "No."

"The tracks go over."

It was true. The tracks went right over the rise, a slope so steep that it should have been impossible to ride. They got off their snowmobiles, Lily's terror a huge lump in her throat. Logan took her hand, squeezed it as they made their way as close to the edge as possible. When they saw the tracks, heading straight down, disappearing into a grove of snow-covered trees, she nearly sank to her knees. "Oh, my God." She reached for her walkie-talkie and called base, giving them their location, then together they slid down the slope, her worst fears coming true when they found a crumpled snowmobile at the base of a wide pine.

With no sign of Matt.

Lily's stomach plummeted, and they immediately started combing the area, calling for him. "Matt!" Her voice bounced off the trees and came back at her. "Matt!"

"Here."

At the weak return cry, she and Logan whipped around. Ahead about ten yards farther down, a white lump leaned back against a tree.

Matt, covered in the fresh snow.

Lily slid down the hill toward him, with Logan right with her. As she got closer, she could see an alarming amount of red mixed in with the snow. Blood. Hers ran cold. "Logan."

"I see him. Come on, Lily, let's do what we do."

Let's do what we do.

His words brought her calm. Strength. And because of him, she had skilled hands and a cool head when she reached for a bleeding and broken Matt.