Fueled

The ringing of my cell phone startles me awake, and in the muted light of the dawn, I fumble for it on my nightstand. “Hello?” I mumble groggily, afraid that even though it’s not the designated ring, something is possibly wrong with one of the boys at The House.

“Good morning, sleepy.” Colton’s velvety smooth rasp fills my ears. I can hear his smile through the line, and it sends shivers straight down my spine to the tips of my toes. I’m definitely awake now.

“Morning,” I murmur, sinking back into the comfort of my warm bed.

“Do you have any idea how much I wish I was tangled up with you in that bed of yours? And that I was waking up with you and having lazy morning sex rather than just calling your cell?”

His subtle yet seductive words serve their purpose as I shift in my bed to still the ache he’s just unfurled in me. “I was just thinking that same thing.” I sigh softly, my mind wandering to how much I already miss him. How much my body automatically responds to the sound of his voice. I look down at my cotton camisole and panties and smirk. “Considering I’m very cold and very naked and I know you’d know exactly what to do to warm me up.” A little lie never hurt anyone when one was trying to keep the fires burning, right?

I hear him suck in a hiss of a breath. “Sweet Jesus, woman, you know how to make a man want,” he says quietly as I hear other voices in the background and realize that he’s not alone.

It’s only been four days since our blissful weekend together, but it feels like forever since I’ve been able to touch him. He drove me home on Monday morning on his way to the airport, and since then I’ve had to survive on texts and phone calls that leave me bereft and acting like a love-struck teenager.

“I’ll be right back,” he tells someone off the speaker, and I hear the chatter fade into the background. “I’m not sure that the people having breakfast here in the hotel want to watch me rub one out because my girlfriend’s so fucking hot,” he chuckles that seductive bedroom laugh of his through the line and I let it wash over me.

And then I still when the one word he said breaks through my sleep hazed brain. Girlfriend. I want to ask him to say it again so I can hear the word that is so simple but just literally took my breath away. But it’s the fact that he’s said it so casually, as if that’s how he thinks of me, that I don’t want to draw attention to it.

I sink further into the comfort of my bed with a huge smile plastered on my lips. “How’s Nashville?”

“It’s Nashville,” he replies drolly. “Not bad, just not home. I’m sorry to wake you up with the time difference, but I’m going to be crazy busy all day, and I wanted to make sure that I got to talk to you. To hear your voice.”

His words soften my smile, knowing that he’s thinking about me even though he’s doing work and prepping with his top sponsor. “Your voice is definitely a better wakeup call than my alarm clock…” I falter, holding back before I say screw it and just say what’s on my mind. “I miss you,” I tell him, hoping he hears what I really mean behind the words. That I miss more than just the sex. That I miss him as a whole.

He’s silent on the other end of the line for a moment, and I think maybe I’ve expressed too much verbalized affection for Mr. Stoic. “I miss you too, baby. More than I thought possible.” His last statement is said very quietly as if he can’t believe it either. I smile broadly and snuggle deeper in my covers as his words warm me. “So what are your plans for the day?”

“Hmmm…sleeping some more and then a run, laundry, cleaning house...Maybe dinner with Haddie.” I shrug although I know he can’t see it. “What’s your schedule like?”

“Brand meetings with the Firestone team, sponsorship junkets, a trip to Children’s hospital—best part of the day if you ask me—and then some formal dinner thing tonight. I’ll have to check with Tawny on the exact order.” He sighs as I roll my shoulders involuntarily at her name. “The days just all run together sometimes on these trips. It’s all important but it’s also rather boring.”

“I bet it is.” I laugh. “Next time you’re nodding off in one, just picture what my mouth did to you last Sunday,” I murmur to him in my breathiest voice. Images flash through my mind and I can’t fight the smile that comes with the memory.

A strangled moan comes from the other end of the line. “Jesus, Ry, are you purposely trying to make me walk around with a permanent hard-on today?” When my only response is a contented sigh, he continues, the edge in his voice expressing his unsatisfied desire. “When I get back, I’m locking you in my bedroom for an entire weekend—tying you up if I have to—and you’ll be my sex slave. Your body will be mine to use as I please.” He chuckles. “Oh and don’t worry Ryles, you mouth will be used and then some.”

Hello, Mr. Dominant! “Why are you limiting us to just your bedroom? I believe you have numerous surfaces in that large house of yours that are usable.”

The groan he emits causes need to coil inside of me. “Oh, don’t worry about where. Just worry about how you’re going to walk afterward.” His laugh is strained and sounds like how I feel.

“Promise?” I whisper, my body heating up at the thought of it.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’d stake my life on that promise.” I hear his name called in the background. “You ready, Becks?” he says away from the speaker before sighing loudly. “I gotta go but I’ll call you later if it’s not too late, okay?”

“Okay,” I reply softly. “It doesn’t matter the time. I like hearing your voice.”

“Hey, Ry?”

“Yeah?”

“Think of me,” he says, and I can hear something in his voice: insecurity, vulnerability, or is it the need to feel wanted? No, not wanted. He has that all of the time. Maybe it’s the need to feel needed. I can’t decipher it, but that little request has me heart constricting in my chest.

“Always.” I sigh, a smile on my lips as the line goes dead.

I sit with the phone to my ear for quite some time, so many thoughts running through my head about Colton and the sweet and affectionate side of him. The side that I’m getting glimpses of more and more. I can’t help the broad smile on my face as I hang up my phone and sink back into my bed. I will myself to go back to sleep, but thoughts of him and endless possibilities prevents it.

The next time I glance at the clock, I’m startled an hour has passed while I’ve been lost in my thoughts, thinking about our time together. About how in such a short time he has brought me from such maddening lows to the incredible high like I am feeling now.

I finally start to drift off to sleep when my phone rings again. “Seriously?” I say to aloud until I see who the caller is.

“Hey, Momma!”

“Hi, sweetie,” she says, and just hearing her voice makes me want to see her again. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve been able to hug her. “So when were you going to tell me about the new man in your life?” she asks, tone insistent.

Nothing like getting straight to the point. “Well don’t beat around the bush or anything.” I laugh at her.

“How do you think I felt when I was flipping through last week’s People magazine and lo and behold, I thought I saw a picture of you. So I flipped back and sure enough there you were, my daughter, looking absolutely breathtaking, on the arm of that tall, dark, and sinfully handsome Colton Donavan.” I start to talk but she just keeps on going. “And then I read the caption and it said that ‘Colton Donavan and his reported new flame heat up the night at the Kids Now charity function.’ Do you know what a shock it was to see you there? And then to think that you’re dating someone and I don’t even know about it.”

I can hear the shock in her voice. And the hurt over not telling her about my first date since Max. That she had to find out from a magazine. I glance over to my dresser where the copy of People sits. “Oh, Mom, don’t be silly.” I sigh, knowing I’ve hurt her by not confiding in her.

“Don’t be silly?” She scoffs. “The man has donated a boatload of money to bring your project to fruition to get your attention and you’re telling me I’m being silly?”

“Mom,” I warn, “that’s not why he donated the money.” She harrumphs on the other end of the line at my answer. “No, really. His company picks one organization a year to focus on, and this year it happened to be mine. And I wasn’t not telling you…things have just been crazy.”

“Well, I think it’s rather telling that you told me about his company donating the money for the project, but neglected to say that you’d actually met him…so?” she asks skeptically.

“I met him at the charity function,” I answer without giving more away.

“And what happened at that function?”

“Have you been talking to Haddie?” I ask. There is no way she knows what to ask without having talked to Haddie.

“Quit avoiding the question. What happened at the function?”

“Nothing. We talked for a few minutes and then I was pulled away because of a problem with the date auction.” Dear old mom doesn’t need to know about the brief interlude backstage before that.

“And what was the problem?”

“Mother!”

“Well, if you’d just answer me straight the first time, we wouldn’t have to play this cat and mouse game you’re playing now would we?”

What is it with mothers? Are they clairvoyant? “Okay, mom. A date contestant got sick. I took her place. Colton bid on a date with me and won. Are you happy now?”

“Interesting,” she says, drawing out every syllable, and I swear I can hear the smirk on her face in the single word. “So you tell me that I’m being silly when one of the sexiest men alive is pursuing my daughter, donating to her charity to get her attention I assume, and taking her to high profile events to show her off? Really? And how is that being silly, Rylee?”

“Mom—”

“How serious is it?” she deadpans, and I shouldn’t be shocked at her frankness, but even after all of these years, I still am.

“Mom, Colton doesn’t do serious,” I try to deflect.

“Don’t try to play it off, Rylee,” she scolds. “I know you well enough to know that any man you give your time to is obviously worth it. And you wouldn’t waste your time on someone that is in it for a quick lay.” I cringe at her words. If only she knew about Colton’s arrangements, I’m sure she wouldn’t be so sure of my judgment then. “So tell me, honey, just how serious is it?”

I sigh loudly, knowing that my mother is tenacious when she wants an answer. “Honestly, from my viewpoint, it could be something. From his...well, Colton isn’t used to doing the more than a couple of months type of thing. We’re just feeling it out as we go,” I answer softly and as honestly as possible.

“Hmmm,” she murmurs before falling silent. “Does he treat you well? Because you know that they always treat you the best in the beginning of the relationship, and if it’s not good in the beginning then it’s not going to get any better.”

“Yes, Mother,” I say like a child.

“I’m serious, Rylee Jade,” she says, her voice implacable. She must be serious if she’s using my middle name. “Does he or doesn’t he?”

“Yes, Mom. He treats me very well.”

I hear her warm laughter on the other end of the line, and I can tell she’s relieved. “Just remember what I always say; don’t lose yourself trying to hold onto someone who doesn’t care about losing you.” I finish mouthing the words she’s saying. Words she’s told me since I started crushing on boys as a teenager.

“I know.”

“Oh, honey, I am so happy for you! After everything that you’ve been through…you deserve nothing but happiness, my sweet child.”

I smile at her unconditional love and concern for me, appreciating what a great mother I have. “Thanks, Mom. We’re just taking things a day at a time right now and seeing where it leads us.”

“There’s my girl. Always with a level head on her shoulders.”

I sigh, a soft smile on my face. “So how are things going? How have you been? How’s Dad?”

“All’s good here. Dad’s fine. Busy as ever, but you know how he is.” She laughs and I can imagine her running her tongue over her top lip as is her habit. “How are the boys?”

I smile at my mom’s question. She treats them like they’re family too, always sending them treats or cookies or little things to make them feel special. “They’re good. I think Shane has his first pseudo-girlfriend, and Zander is slowly making progress.” I go through the boys and talk about each one with her, answering her questions, and I can sense another care package coming for them.

We talk for a bit more before she has to go. “I miss you, Mom.” My voice cracks with my words because she might be tough and overbearing, but she only wants the best for me. I love her more than anything.

“I miss you too, Ry. It’s been too long since I’ve seen you.”

“I know. I love you.”

“Love you too. Bye.”

I hit call end and snuggle back into my warm bed that for some reason no one will let me sleep in this morning. I glance over at the dresser at the People and grab it. I flip it open to the marked page and there I am.

I stare at the picture of Colton and me at the Kids Now function on the red carpet. He is standing, his shoulders squared to the camera, with his hand in one pocket of his slacks and his other hand wrapped around my waist. His pocket square front and center. His face is looking toward the camera, but his chin and eyes are angled toward me with a huge smile on his face.

My eyes gravitate to the part of the picture that I love the most, the way his hand grips my hip, a possessive hold announcing to the world that I am his.

I reread the caption again and sigh. I’m so glad the press hasn’t gotten a hold of my name yet. I’m not ready to be thrust in to the media circus but I know it’s inevitable if I’m with Colton.

“In for a penny, in for a pound,” I mutter to myself.

I hold the picture in my hand, staring at it until I talk myself into taking my run. I shift out of my bed when my phone dings a text. I laugh out loud at technology’s rule over my life this morning and nonetheless pick up my phone to see Colton’s name. I can’t help the smile on my lips.

Thinking nasty thoughts of you in the middle of my meeting. Won’t be standing for a while now. Bruno Mars – Locked Out of Heaven.

I laugh out loud, knowing the song and feeling flattered at the same time at the song’s lyrics. I text him back.

So glad I could help with your boredom, Ace…it’s the least I can do. Think more thoughts! TLC – Red Light Special.

I smirk as I toss my phone onto my nightstand, knowing that he’s going to have a lot harder time concentrating in his meeting now.