Gabriel's Inferno

Chapter 24

On Tuesday evening, Julia had a very tense albeit edited conversation with her father about the previous weekend’s events. She called him on her new iPhone, explaining why she had to change her number. He’d been trying in vain to speak to her for three days but had only reached her voice mail. He was annoyed.

“Dad, I had to change my number because Simon called me.”

“Oh, really?” Tom’s voice was hesitant, which made Julia suspicious.

“Yes, really. He said that you gave him my number. Then he called and harassed me!”

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered.

“I’ll give you my new number, but I don’t want you to share it with anyone, especially Deb. She’ll just turn around and give it to Natalie.”

Tom continued talking to himself, as he was wont to do. Until he realized there was a person on the other end of the line. “Don’t worry about Deb.”

“Yes, Dad, I worry about her! Her daughter still talks to Simon. What if she tells him I’m coming home? He could show up at your house!”

“You’re overreacting. He isn’t going to drive all the way out here. We had a nice conversation last week. He was very polite and simply said that you had a few things that belonged to him. He didn’t want to bother you, but I gave him your number and said it would be okay for him to call you.”

“I don’t have anything of his! And even if I did, you know I don’t want to talk to him. He is not a good guy, Dad. He acts one way around you.

With me…” Julia shook slightly.

“Are you sure it wasn’t a misunderstanding?”

“It’s pretty difficult to misunderstand threats and harassment, Dad. He doesn’t get to talk to me. He doesn’t get to be my friend. And no apology will make up for what he did.”

Tom sighed into the phone.

“All right, Jules. I’m sorry. I won’t give anyone your number. But are you sure you don’t want to give him a second chance? He comes from a great family. And everyone makes mistakes.”

Julia rolled her eyes so hard they nearly spiraled out of her head and dropped onto the floor. In that instant she wanted to be vindictive. She wanted to ask her father if he would have taken her mother back if he’d seen what she walked in on at age twelve — Sharon bent over the kitchen table by one of the boyfriends. But she was not vindictive, so she didn’t.

“Dad, he might be a senator’s son but he’s a son of a bitch. And what was broken can never be fixed. Trust me.”

Tom exhaled loudly. “Okay. When are you coming home?”

“Thursday.”

“And you’re driving with Rachel and Aaron?”

“That’s the plan. Gabriel is coming too.” Julia tried to make her lie convincing.

“See to it that you stick close to Aaron and as far as possible from Gabriel.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s a bad apple. I’m surprised he isn’t in jail right now. All I can say is he’s lucky he moved to Canada.”

Julia shook her head. “If he was a felon, the Canadians wouldn’t have granted him a work visa.”

“Canadians let anyone in. Including terrorists.”

Julia stuck her tongue out at her father’s anti-Canadian bias and proceeded to plan her visit with him, hoping against hope that he would keep his promises.

After another Dante seminar in which Christa shamelessly flirted with Gabriel, Julia found herself walking home with Paul, who continued to be charming and friendly. They commiserated over Christa’s new sexier-than-thou wardrobe and please-let-me-seduce-you-before-you-fail-me stiletto boots, before Julia bid him good evening and entered her apartment. She made herself a modest dinner of chicken noodle soup and Lady Grey tea, and admired her birthday presents.

Once Julia’s birthday had been so rudely interrupted by Simon, Gabriel poured her a glass of wine and insisted that she relax by the fire while he prepared dinner. After dinner and a candlelit birthday cake, he presented her with gifts before taking her to bed.

He’d stayed awake almost all night, caressing her back and her arms, their legs rubbing together. She’d woken up several times in a nightmare-induced haze, but each time he’d comforted her and held her more tightly.

She felt safe with him but worried about how he would react when he found out the truth. If she was ever able to work up the courage to speak the words.

Her iPhone was a gift — of sorts. On Sunday morning, when Gabriel sheepishly held out the broken pieces of her old phone, she’d laughed, for which he’d been grateful. When he explained that he was so angry that Simon had upset her that he’d smashed her phone, she smiled. She graciously accepted his more sophisticated replacement as well as his patient tutelage in learning how to operate the damn thing.

He’d uploaded the photos Rachel took at Lobby, which pleased her greatly. And he helped her enter all her contacts and numbers, although he’d arched an eyebrow when she explained that he needed to enter the name “Dante Alighieri” in conjunction with his own number. He’d also stubbornly insisted on choosing his own ring tone.

Julia’s primary birthday gift was a series of digital copies of Gabriel’s Botticelli prints. He had them mounted in a special book with her name engraved in gold letters on the cover. Even though they were only copies, the collection was priceless. And he had handwritten a dedication on the flyleaf in his elegant script:

To my Darling Julianne,

Happy Birthday.

May each year be better than the last

and may you always have happiness.

With enduring affection,

Gabriel

She fingered his inscription, tracing the curls of the capital G. The illustrations were, without doubt, the finest gift she had ever received.

In addition, Gabriel had given her a small photo album of black-and-white pictures. In some of them, her identity was recognizable. In the rest, the subject was only a glimpse of a face, or a lock of hair against a long, white neck or a laughing girl with her eyes closed. She felt beautiful when Gabriel kissed her and when he touched her. But viewing these photographs made her feel as if Gabriel saw her beauty. He saw and captured it, recording it forever.

Some of the pictures were sexy, some were innocent, and some were sweet. None of them were embarrassing or the kind of photo that would humiliate her if they were sent to her father or posted on the internet. Her favorite was one in which she stood in profile while a hand with long white fingers held up her hair, a man’s face in shadow pressing his lips to the nape of her neck. She could have blown that photo up to poster size and tacked it to the wall over her bed, the Holiday painting be damned.

Take that, simple Simon. P

“Why are you calling? Is something wrong? Did you do something to Julia? I swear to God, Gabriel, if you — ”

Gabriel held his iPhone away from his ear as his sister expertly berated him. “I didn’t do anything to Julia,” he interrupted. “Her ex-boyfriend called her on Saturday, and she went to pieces. I’d like some answers.”

“Holy shit. Is she okay?”

“She was very upset. But she won’t tell me much.”

“Of course not. Why would she talk about it with her professor?”

Gabriel bristled. “We were discussing Thanksgiving and making plans for the trip when that motherfucker interrupted us.”

“A bit angry there, Gabriel. Why do you care?”

“Because that bastard, whoever he is, sweet talked her father into di-vulging her unlisted cell phone number so that he could harass her.”

“Shit,” said Rachel.

“Quite,” said Gabriel. “So before I bring her back to Selinsgrove, where he might possibly pay her a visit, I’d like to know who I’m dealing with.”

His sister was silent.

“Rachel? I’m waiting.”

“I don’t know what you’re expecting me to tell you. This is Julia’s past.

You need to ask her.”

“I told you, she won’t talk about it.”

“Can you blame her? If you know that he’s a motherfucker, then you know why she doesn’t want to talk about him. She won’t even say his name out loud — she’s that skittish.” Rachel paused for a minute and took a deep breath. “Simon’s father is Senator John Talbot.”

Gabriel blinked in recognition. “And?”

“Julia met Simon when they were freshmen. He swept her off her feet in the beginning, but I got the impression that he could be difficult. She went to Florence her junior year, and when she came back, they broke up.

I didn’t see her again until I came to visit you. Aaron hated Simon, so I didn’t spend a lot of time around them.”

Gabriel fumed. “You didn’t answer my question. What kind of difficulties are we talking about? Assault? Infidelity? Emotional abuse?”

“Honestly, I don’t know everything. I pieced together a few things from a conversation I had with Natalie, Julia’s old roommate. Simon was an arrogant jerk who liked to have Julia on his arm. It’s obvious he crushed her spirit. I think we can imagine the rest.”

“He said that Julia is disturbed. That she needs professional help.”

“The guy is a lying bastard, Gabriel. What did you expect him to say?”

Rachel exhaled her frustration. “Julia’s biggest problem is him. If you want to help her, you should try to make her life easier and not harder. I hope you aren’t intimidating her anymore with your pretentious bullshit. She had enough of that with him.”

“Actually, we’re getting along quite well.” He sniffed.

“As well as in the pictures I e-mailed to you?” Rachel giggled wickedly.

“We have a professional relationship.”

“You might be fooling everyone else, but you can’t fool me. Julia broke down and told me she had a date with someone Saturday night, and coincidentally, you’re with her on Saturday when Simon calls. So tell me, Gabriel, did you see Julia after her date or before? And how was it?”

“We’ll arrive in Selinsgrove on Thursday. I’ll bring Julia to the house.”

Gabriel’s voice was cold.

“Good. I think she needs to tell her dad that she wants to stay with us.

If Simon comes to town, he won’t look for her there. And Gabriel, thanks for what you did about the house. Dad is so relieved. I think we all are, Scott included.”

“It was the least I could do. Bye, Rachel.”

“If you hurt her, I’ll kill you. Now go cheer her up and be gentle. Otherwise you’ll never coax her out of her shell. Love you.”

“I — bye.” Gabriel ended the call somewhat uncomfortably and returned to the task of preparing next week’s Dante seminar.

With the impending end of term, Julia’s workload increased expo-nentially. In addition to writing her thesis, she needed to complete essays for her seminars, which were due December fourth. On top of everything, she was working on applications to graduate schools for doctoral programs.

She and Gabriel had a vague conversation late one night about her applications. He knew that she wanted to go to Harvard and that she was focusing a great deal of her attention on that application. What he didn’t know was that the thought of leaving Toronto, of leaving him, was almost unbearable, and so unbeknownst to him, she completed an application to the University of Toronto, as well.

While Julia was spending most of her days and all of her nights working, Gabriel was wading through a sea of grading and writing his second book.

He preferred to spend his evenings with Julia, even if they were both busy, and sometimes he was able to persuade her to work at his apartment. He would occupy his study, and she would spread her papers across the dining room table. But she usually didn’t stay at the table very long. Somehow she would always end up in his red velvet chair in front of the fire, chewing the end of a pencil and scribbling something into a notebook.

After seeing each other rarely, it was with much relief that the couple dragged their luggage from Gabriel’s apartment to a waiting cab on the day they left for Thanksgiving vacation. As they watched the taxi driver place their bags in the trunk, Julia looked up and saw the autumn wind blowing Gabriel’s hair, swirling the strands into his eyes. Without thinking, she reached up and brushed the hair out of his face and pressed her lips to his. She stroked his face tenderly, trying to tell him with her eyes what she was too afraid to say.

Gabriel stared back at her, eyes burning, and grabbed her by the waist.

He pulled her into his chest, deepening the kiss and exploring her lower back through her peacoat. She pulled away first, giggling like a schoolgirl as he surreptitiously patted her backside with a smug grin.

“Still trying to find the right adjective,” he teased, sneaking in a final tap. “Although pert comes to mind.”

“Behave,” she warned, toying with his hair again.

“I need to get this out of my system,” he countered, wiggling his eyebrows at her. “I’m going to have to go cold turkey for three days.”

Arriving at Pearson Airport, Julia was surprised when Gabriel pulled her into the exclusive line for executive and first class passengers at the Air Canada counter.

“What are we doing?” she whispered.

“Checking in,” he whispered back, his lips curling up into a smirk.

“But I only had money for a coach ticket.”

He caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I want you to be comfortable.

Besides, the last time I flew coach I ended up sitting in urine, and it cost me a pair of expensive trousers.”

Julia arched an eyebrow at him.

“I had enough frequent flyer miles for an upgrade, so I bought coach tickets and upgraded them. Technically, you only owe me for the coach fare.

Not that I want your money.”

Julia gazed at him quizzically. “Urine, Gabriel? I didn’t know that Air Canada had a section for the incontinent.”

He waved a hand. “Don’t ask. But it’s not happening to me again. Besides, they’ll at least provide us with drinks and something more substantial than pretzels.” He kissed her softly, and she smiled.

The flight to Philadelphia was largely uneventful. After disengaging the phone utility, Gabriel continued his tutoring sessions on iPhone 101, showing Julia various applications on his phone and asking her if she wanted the same ones. As she perused his programs, she found the iPod function and scrolled through his music files — Mozart, Chopin, Berlioz, Rachmaninoff, Beethoven, Matthew Barber, Sting, Diana Krall, Loreena McKennitt, Coldplay, U2, Miles Davis, Arcade Fire, Nine Inch Nails…

Julia hit a button by mistake and found herself looking at Gabriel’s university e-mail account. She glanced at it quickly as she tried to switch to the photo album application, and was stunned to discover that both Professor Singer and a Paulina Grushcheva had e-mailed him in the past week. She resisted the urge to read his e-mails and closed the application.

Gabriel was peering through his glasses at a journal article, oblivious to what had just occurred.

Why are they e-mailing him? The answer was obvious, but it didn’t prevent her from asking herself the question. She nibbled on one of her fingernails distractedly.

Gabriel had uploaded several of the black-and-white photos of her, including some she hadn’t seen before. As she scrolled through them, he somehow became aware of what she was doing. Embarrassed, he tried to wrest his phone out of her hand, but she held it fast and began to laugh.

Not wanting to give their fellow passengers a show, he moved closer and threatened in a whisper to kiss her senseless.

She gave him back his phone.

Julia snuggled up at Gabriel’s side while he put his research away and pulled out a hard-covered volume from his briefcase.

“What’s that?” Her soft voice interrupted his thoughts.

He showed her the cover. The End of the Affair by Graham Greene.

“Is it good?”

“I just started it. He’s considered to be a very good writer. He wrote the script for The Third Man, which is one of my favorite films.”

“The title is depressing.”

“It’s not what you think.” He shifted in his seat. “Well, it is, but it isn’t.

It’s about faith and God and lust…I’ll lend it to you when I’m finished.” He smirked at her and leaned closer so that he could brush his lips against her ear. “Perhaps I’ll read it aloud to you when we’re in bed together.”

Julia’s cheeks pinked up at that remark, but she smiled. “I’d like that.”

He pressed a light kiss to her forehead. She snuggled into his side and relaxed. He found himself peering down at her from time to time over the rims of his glasses.

He found it difficult to put into words how he felt when she was near him. How content he felt whenever she touched him, or when they were enjoying the simple pleasures of music or literature or food and wine. She inspired the strangest emotions and desires, such as wanting to read to her, to chastely share a bed with her, to lavish her with gifts both decadent and plain, to protect her from harm, and to ensure that she smiled daily.

Perhaps this is happiness, he thought. Perhaps this is almost what Richard and Grace had. The thought intrigued him.

You love her.

Gabriel started suddenly. Where had that voice come from? Had someone said it aloud? He looked around quickly, but the other first class passengers were either napping or otherwise engaged. No one was paying any attention to the nervous professor or the beauty who dozed next to him.

It’s too soon. It’s just not possible. I can’t love her. Gabriel shook his head at the voice, wherever it came from, and returned to his book more than a little disquieted.

After arriving in Philadelphia, Gabriel pulled his rented Jeep Grand Cherokee out of the airport’s parking garage.

“Which hotel did you choose?” Julia asked, staring out of the window into the darkness.

“The Four Seasons. Do you know it?”

“I know where it is, but I’ve never stayed there.”

“It’s very nice. You’ll like it.”

What Gabriel failed to mention was that he had booked a suite that had a panoramic view of Logan Circle. He also neglected to tell Julia that their room had a beautiful marble bathroom with an exquisite bathtub.

Julia noticed the bathtub before she noticed the view. Not to mention the complimentary fruit basket the manager always provided for his most important guests.

“Gabriel,” she breathed. “It’s beautiful. I’d love to take a bubble bath but…”

He smiled at her and gently took her elbow, leading her inside the bathroom.

“You will have complete privacy, and your companion will behave like a gentleman.” He paused and a wicked gleam came into his eyes. “Unless you need me to wash your back. In which case, you’ll have to blindfold me first.”

Julia grinned. “We could use one of your bow ties,” she whispered.

Gabriel’s mouth dropped open. Then she started laughing, and he realized that she was only teasing him. Minx.

As he watched her remove her purple robe and slippers from her suitcase, he quickly realized that there was no way he was going to be able to sit in the living room of the suite while Julianne took a bubble bath. It was a bit too King David for him. So he mumbled an excuse about finding a newspaper and went to the lobby. He decided against sitting at the bar, populated as it was by various hungry-looking women, and instead enjoyed a glass of wine and a sandwich while sitting in an arm chair in a quiet corner.

He picked up a copy of The Philadelphia Inquirer and spent the next hour dodging the aforementioned women, trying valiantly not to dwell on the beautiful body of the Bathsheba bathing upstairs.

By the time he returned, the scent of vanilla filled the room, and Julia was curled up like a cat on the bed. Her chest rose and fell in a gentle rhythm, her long dark hair spread out across the sage green duvet. She was still wearing her purple robe and her kitten heeled slippers.

Gabriel watched her sleep for a moment and felt a wave of emotion wash over him. As he tried to sort out his feelings, it occurred to him that the development of their relationship was not being held back solely by the university. It was being held back by him, by his secrets.

And also by hers.

He’d determined that he would not make love to her until he revealed everything. Although it pained him to think of it, he knew that it would be best if he waited until she did the same. That meant that Julianne would have to feel comfortable and safe enough to finally tell him what happened with Simon. Otherwise, he would only ever know part of her and not the whole. And they needed to know all of each other.

It was important to him that they not break the letter of the non-fraternization policy, even though they were breaking it in spirit. On top of that, although he’d fantasized about moving their physical relationship forward, the nature of Simon’s threats had put an end to those fantasies.

He knew based upon her receptivity that she would be willing to participate in manual or oral contact before the end of the semester. It would certainly stave off his cravings and satisfy some of his desires, temporarily.

But after hearing that Simon might have videotaped a particularly intimate encounter, there was no possibility of Gabriel persuading her to perform that act. He was determined to treat her gently and respectfully, and not speed things along for his own gratification. Although he would not have used this word, Gabriel craved intimacy along with sexual contact, and because of what he surmised had happened in Julia’s past, he was unwilling to allow anything other than sexual intercourse to be their first connection.

He knew that in making this decision, as in deciding not to make love to her without first revealing his secrets, he was making it less and less likely that such intimacy would ever occur. But he wanted more with her and not less, and certainly not just what her ex-boyfriend had taken from her, a fumble in the dark meant to mimic the true connection one found in sex. Fumbles which had always left Gabriel somehow wanting.

Julianne deserved a man who was willing to give all, in a manner that was tender and patient and focused on union, and not simply to use her to satisfy his physical desires. She deserved to be adored and even worshipped, especially her first time. Gabriel would be damned if he would give her anything less.

He sighed deeply and looked at his watch. It was almost two o’clock in the morning. They both needed sleep. He gently removed her slippers and, picking her up in his arms, tried to pull back the bed covers. Her robe fell open, exposing her elegant neck, collarbone, and one of her breasts. It was perfect. A rosy nipple budded against creamy white skin. So delicate.

So round.

Absolutely not what he needed to see at that moment.

Gabriel struggled to place her underneath the sheets while keeping her from being further exposed, then he lightly tugged at her robe until she was covered, completely resisting the urge to take her rosy tip between his fingers. Or his lips. That was one sight he would never forget. Julianne was stunning in clothes, but Julianne without clothes was like Botticelli’s Venus.

He walked over to the windows that looked out over Logan Circle and began rummaging through the fruit basket. He poured himself a glass of Perrier and ate an apple, and when he was satisfied that he could control himself, he changed into a t-shirt and pajama bottoms and quietly slipped into bed.

She sighed at the movement and instinctively turned to face him. This one small, simple act made his heart swell. Even in her sleep, she recognized him and wanted him. He pulled her, all covered, into his arms and kissed her goodnight.

As he fell asleep, he thanked God that the end of the semester was only a week away.

When they arrived in Selinsgrove the following afternoon, they drove immediately to Richard’s house. Julia called her father as soon as they pulled into the driveway.

“Jules! Welcome home. How was the flight?”

“It was fine. We had to leave really early, but it’s good to be back.”

Tom breathed heavily into the phone. “About that, Jules. I already told Richard that I can’t join you all. Deb was a little put out that I was bailing on her, and so I said I’d have dinner with her and her kids tonight. Rachel suggested you stay with her so you aren’t home alone.”

“Oh.” Julia looked over at Gabriel, feeling conflicted.

“Deb said you’re more than welcome to join us and she’d love to have you there.”

“Absolutely not.”

Tom sighed. “Then maybe we can meet at Kinfolks restaurant for breakfast tomorrow.”

Julia fidgeted with her fingernails, wondering why she always came second or third in her father’s life.

“Okay. I’ll ask Rachel to drive me. Around nine?”

“Sounds good. Oh, and Jules, give my best to Rachel and Aaron. And stay away from Gabriel.”

She flushed furiously. “Bye, Dad.”

She disconnected her call and glanced over at Gabriel. “You heard that, didn’t you?”

“I did.” He took her hand in his and stroked her palm with the pad of his thumb. “We have a few minutes before someone notices we’re here.

Can I ask how Tom reacted when you told him about Simon? You wouldn’t tell me before.”

Julia looked down at their conjoined hands and watched as Gabriel touched her.

“Julianne?”

“Sorry. Um, he said he wouldn’t give out my number.”

Gabriel looked grim. “Did you mention the video?”

“No, and I’m not going to, either.”

“He’s your father, Julianne. Shouldn’t he know what’s going on so he can protect you?”

Julia shrugged and looked out the window. “What can he do? It’s my word against his.”

Gabriel stopped stroking her palm. “Is that what your father said?”

“Not exactly.”

“Is he going to take this seriously?”

“Simon has him fooled, just like he fools everyone. Dad thinks it’s just a misunderstanding.”

“Why in God’s name would he think this is a misunderstanding? You’re his daughter, for Christ’s sake!”

“Dad really liked him. And he knows next to nothing about what happened between us.”

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

Julia turned to Gabriel with a desperate look in her eyes. “Because I don’t want him to know. He wouldn’t believe me anyway, and I can’t lose another parent.”

“Julia, there is no way your father would disown you because you broke up with your boyfriend.”

“He’s been watching me my whole life to see if I was going to turn out like my mother. I don’t want him looking that way at me. He’s the only family I have.”

Gabriel closed his eyes and rested his head back against the car seat.

“If that boy made you do things you didn’t want to do, if he assaulted you or took advantage of you, then you need to tell your dad. He needs to know.”

Julia exhaled slowly. “It’s too late.”

Opening his eyes, Gabriel looked at her and cupped her face in both hands. “Julia, listen to me. Some day you are going to have to tell somebody.”

She blinked back tears. “I know that.”

“I’d like that person to be me.”

She nodded as if she understood, but made no promises.

He leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. “Come on. Everyone will be waiting.”

As soon as they walked through the front door, Julia felt — odd. The furniture was arranged as it always had been. The décor was the same, minus the fresh flowers Grace loved to display in a large vase on one of the side tables. But the instant Julia exited the foyer and gazed around, she realized that the house felt empty, cold, lonesome, even though it was filled with people. Grace had been the heart of the household, and now everyone could feel her absence.

Julia shivered unconsciously, and without warning, Gabriel’s right hand flew to the small of her back — a gentle pressure, a reassuring warmth, then it was gone. They hadn’t even exchanged glances. She felt his comfort leave her body, and she wondered what it all meant.

“Julia!” Rachel fairly ran from the kitchen. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

The two friends embraced, and then Rachel hugged Gabriel. Scott, Aaron, and Richard rose from their chairs to take turns greeting the new arrivals.

Julia nervously tried to find the words to tell Richard how sorry she was that she’d missed the funeral, but Rachel interrupted her. “Let’s get rid of your coat. I’m making Flirtinis. Gabriel, help yourself. The beer is in the refrigerator.”

Julia mumbled something Gabriel didn’t catch, and the two women disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the men to return to the football game.

“I hope Gabriel was polite to you during the trip,” said Rachel, as she began pouring a number of ingredients into a martini shaker.

“He was. I’m lucky he agreed to drive me, or I’d be hitchhiking. Dad decided to spend the evening with Deb and her kids. I guess I’m staying here tonight.” Julia rolled her eyes, still feeling disappointed that her father had chosen his girlfriend over her.

Rachel smiled sympathetically and handed her a Flirtini. “You need a drink. And you can stay the whole weekend, if you want. Why be home alone when you can be here drinking cocktails with me?”

Julia giggled and sipped her drink a little too eagerly while she and Rachel caught up with one another. By the time they were working on their second round of Flirtinis and beginning to get a little naughty in their discussion, the football game ended, thus emancipating the men from the large, flat-screened plasma television in the living room. Grace had banished the unsightly thing to the basement. Richard had since paroled it.

The men joined the ladies in the kitchen, passing around snacks and bottles of beer and giving Rachel absolutely unsolicited advice about her free-range organic turkey.

“You’ve cooked it too long. It’s going to be dry, like that turkey on National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.” Scott winked at Julia behind Rachel’s back.

“Scott, knock it off, or I’m going to cut you.” Rachel opened the door to the Viking range and began basting the turkey, peering anxiously at the meat thermometer.

“It looks beautiful, honey.” Aaron pressed a kiss to her cheek as he took the baster out of her hand, slightly worried that she was going to use it to stab her annoying brother.

Scott was the oldest of Grace and Richard’s biological children, and thus five years older than Rachel. He was funny, light-hearted, and frequently bawdy. At six foot three, he was an inch taller than Gabriel and somewhat heavier. Like Rachel, he had his father’s hair and eyes and a very big heart, except when it came to his adopted brother.

“Julia, it’s good to see you again. Rachel tells me that you’ve been doing well in graduate school.” Richard moved to occupy an empty stool next to her.

Julia smiled. Richard was classically handsome, with light-colored hair that had begun to gray and kind eyes. He was a professor of biology at Susquehanna University, and he specialized in human anatomy, more specifically, the neurons of the human brain. Despite his intelligence and charm, he was often the last to speak; his silence had been complemented by Grace’s chattiness. Without her, he seemed…adrift. Julia could feel his loneliness and see it in the wrinkles at the corner of his eyes. He looked thinner and older.

“I’m really glad to be back, Richard. I’m sorry I wasn’t here in September.” She gave him a guilty look, and he patted her hand. “My courses are good. I like them.”

Julia tried hard not to fidget, especially when she felt a pair of intense blue eyes latch onto her.

“Gabriel tells me you’re in his class.”

“Yeah, how’s that going?” asked Scott. “Can you understand a word he says? Or do you need a translator?”

Scott was only joking, and Julia knew that, but she saw Gabriel flinch out of the corner of her eye.

“It’s my favorite class,” she said softly. “Professor Emerson’s graduate seminar is considered the best of its kind at the university. He gave a lecture in October that had over a hundred people in attendance. They put his picture in the university newspaper.”

Rachel’s brows went up, and her eyes narrowed as they traveled from Julia to Gabriel and back again.

“Professor Emerson? That must be quite a turn on, Gabe. Do your women call you that too? Must be really hot in the bedroom.” Scott laughed uproariously.

“In the first place, Scott, I do not have women. And no, the extraordinary lady I am seeing does not call me that.” Gabriel’s voice was cold and unfriendly as he swept out of the room.

“Scott, I asked you to behave yourself.” Richard’s voice was low but reproving.

“Dad, I was only kidding. He takes himself so seriously — somebody needs to loosen him up. And he’s always been a player. So what’s the big deal?”

“It sounds like Gabriel has a girlfriend. Let him be happy.” Aaron’s voice was quiet and surprisingly compassionate.

Richard’s face wore a peculiar expression.

“Look you all, this holiday is hard enough without the passive-aggressive bullshit.” Rachel’s voice was raised over the rest as she stood, hands on hips, scowling at Scott. “Sorry about the language, Dad.”

“Why does everything have to revolve around him? Last time I checked, he was only one out of four.” Scott was no longer joking.

“Because he’s trying! Which is more than I can say about you. Now come over here and drain these goddamned potatoes, so you can start mashing them. Aaron will take the turkey out of the oven, and Julia, would you go and get Gabriel? I’d like him to look through the wine cellar and choose a couple of bottles.”

“I can do that,” Richard protested. “Maybe we should give him a minute.”

“He’s had his minute. As long as Scott agrees to behave.” She glared at him until he nodded. “Besides, Dad, you need to carve the turkey. Julia.”

Rachel angled her head toward the upstairs, and Julia nodded, slipping out of the kitchen. She quickly ascended the staircase and walked down the hall, pausing in front of the half-opened door to Gabriel’s old bedroom.

She knocked softly.

“Come in.” He sounded cross.

Gabriel’s room had not been redecorated since his seventeenth birthday, with the exception of the removal of his old band posters and pictures of scantily clad women. A double bed stood in the center of the room, underneath the large picture window that faced the woods. A large antique armoire stood against one of the walls, and three massive bookshelves and an old stereo covered the opposite wall. Almost all the decor was a masculine shade of dark blue, including the area rug.

Julia watched as Gabriel unpacked his suitcase, methodically placing the folded clothes on top of the bed. When he saw her, he straightened up and smiled.

“Now do you see why I prefer to stay at a hotel?”

“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I should have done something. Said something.”

“You need to do what I normally do — just keep quiet and take it.”

He dropped what he was holding and was at her side in a moment. “It’s a good thing we agreed to keep our relationship secret. Scott doesn’t think very highly of me, and your reputation would be tarnished by association.”

“I don’t mind. Let him tarnish me.”

He smiled and caressed her cheek. “I mind. I mind a great deal.” He cleared his throat. “Tonight, after everyone has gone to bed, I’d like to take you for a walk.”

“I’d love to.”

“At least that will give me something to look forward to.” Gabriel pulled her into a heated embrace. His tongue entered her mouth immediately, his hands resting on her backside, squeezing it without shame.

Julia al owed herself to forget she was in his father’s house for a minute before she struggled to back away. “We — can’t.”

Gabriel had a wild look in his eye. “But I need you.” He grabbed her and wound his hands in her hair. “I need you, Julianne. Right now.”

Julia’s insides liquefied in reaction to the desperation in his words. He drew his lips down the curve of her neck, nuzzling at the opening of her shirt so that he could nibble her collarbone. He closed his bedroom door with his foot, and quickly unfastened two buttons of her blouse, pushing the fabric aside to expose the perfect skin just above her bra. Squeezing the curves of her backside, he lifted her and pressed her back against the door, pulling her legs flush around his hips. Julia gasped at the closeness, at the direct contact between them.

He floated his lips across her upper chest, pausing to dip the tip of his tongue just under the pale pink lace. Julia threw her head back and groaned as her hands sought his hair, urging him forward. He responded by tracing a long finger around the perimeter of her demi-cup, allowing his hand to gently slip inside, while his other hand held the back of her right thigh.

Her eyes popped open as his warm palm cupped her naked breast, his mouth latched onto the skin at the base of her throat, sucking slightly.

Much as it pained her to do so, she pulled his hand away and shifted so that he was forced to release his hold on her neck.

“Gabriel, I’m sorry. We can’t.” She quickly adjusted her bra. She wriggled slightly, but he did not set her down. Flushing furiously, she avoided the blazing color of his eyes. “I know you’re upset. And I’d like to comfort you, but they’re al waiting downstairs. Rachel wants you to choose the wine for dinner.”

Gabriel gazed at her with new eyes and carefully put her down. She quickly buttoned her blouse and tried to straighten her trousers.

“You think too highly of me.”

Julia ran the pointed toe of her ankle boot along the edge of the area rug. “I very much doubt that.”

“What I just did was not appropriate or nice. I’m sorry.” He traced a finger over the red mark that had bloomed where his mouth had tasted her and pulled her blouse closed, fastening the top button. Now she looked like a Mennonite.

She gazed up into dark, troubled eyes. “Gabriel, you’re stil tired from yesterday, and this is a stressful holiday. I know you didn’t mean anything just now. You feel better when you touch me. And truthful y, so do I.” Now she was looking at the floor again.

“Come here,” he whispered, reaching to envelope her in a warm embrace. “You’re wrong you know, I did mean it. Of course I feel better when I touch you. But I’m sorry to fly at you like that. I wasn’t thinking…” Gabriel appeared disgusted with himself.

“You didn’t hurt me.”

He smiled into her hair and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I will endeavor to be worthy of you. If you weren’t here, I’d have left already.”

“No, you wouldn’t have. Richard needs you. And you would never leave him in need.”

A pained look shadowed Gabriel’s features. He kissed her once again, more like a friend than a lover, and turned back to his suitcase.

Julia crept out of his room and down the stairs, wondering what would happen during dinner. She paused on the landing to check her appearance in the mirror, hoping that she didn’t look as if she had just stolen a sensual moment with her professor.