Games of the Heart

Chapter Twelve First Kiss

“Oh my God,” I breathed then came.

Mike pulled out and I was no longer on my knees. I was on my back, Mike’s hands behind my knees shoving them high. Then he was on me and in me, thrusting hard.

Still coming, I swung my legs in and circled his shoulders with my arms.

He buried his face in my neck and I listened to his noises as I held on tight.

Then he planted himself and I felt his teeth sink into my neck.

Nice.

I held him. I felt him. I smelled him. I accommodated him. I listened to him breathe.

Then his head came up and his hot, dark eyes looked into mine.

“I love lunch,” I whispered.

Mike grinned.

Then his head dropped and he kissed me.

I was at my wheel, my music on, the barn doors open so I could see the lane and anyone who might be driving down it.

It was Thursday afternoon.

As far as I knew, Debbie was gone.

I definitely knew Dad was ticked.

I’d called Dad and Dad had called Debbie in an attempt to sort her shit out. She’d given him the same song and dance about looking out for the boys. Seeing right through this, Dad became livid.

Needless to say, he and Mom were closing things down and driving up. They were going to be there Monday. Monday night, family meeting with Mike and his kids at the table.

When I called Dad, I came clean therefore Dad received the lowdown. Mike was in my life. I’d helped his daughter bake a birthday cake. Mike was taking my back with Debbie.

Imparting this news, I was prepared for anything. Dad was a Dad. In other words, the kind of Dad who, no matter my age and no matter the guy, that guy would have to prove himself good enough for me.

This had never happened and Dad had met a few of my past guys.

Seeing as I was telling him about one he already knew and the reasons he already knew him, this could go either way.

What I got was a muttered, “Oh, thank Christ.”

Although I was prepared for it to go either way, still, that surprised me.

“What?” I asked.

“Good family. Decent parents. Decent job. Decent house. What I hear, good father. Good friend to your brother. Stupidest thing in a long line of stupid things your sister did was let that boy slip through her fingers. Glad one of my daughters is smart enough not to let a good man get away.”

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” I asked quietly.

“God’s honest truth, she’s made me angry more than once in my life, this shit, angrier than ever,” Dad replied. “But I love her. She’s my daughter. Sayin’ that, had no clue what Mike was doin’ with her. Didn’t need to be a clairvoyant to see that boy was happy eatin’ pancakes at Frank’s when he was seven, seventeen and would be doin’ the same thing when he was seventy. Your sister likes croissants better than Hilligoss. Those two didn’t fit. You. Now, that I can see.”

If Dad had no clue, he was in denial. Then again, if he knew Mike did Debbie when she was fifteen, he might not be so hot on him for me. I wouldn’t have shared this information anyway but this was an added incentive not to.

Instead I just whispered, “Thanks Dad.”

“Still, he jerks you around, I’ll kick his ass.”

I smiled and with that, the difficult part was done.

I didn’t want to call Dad but once it was done I realized Mike was right. I should have done it earlier. It was good to know him and Mom were coming up just because I liked the idea of them being there. I liked it better because they were both good with the boys. But I liked it best that, after that scene with Debbie, I had more of what Mike called “firepower”.

I figured I was going to need it.

Mike and my lunchtime specials the last three days were about fast sex, fantastic orgasms, quick cuddling but not a lot of conversation. With his work, his schedule and his kids and me wanting to be with the boys in the evenings so they wouldn’t be alone with their thoughts and without their Mom, these opportunities didn’t come often. We whispered goodnights to each other over the phone but this didn’t last long either. He had to get up and hunt bad guys. I had to get up, exercise horses and make pottery. And he might have a long hall separating his room from his kids’, but I was smack next to Kirby’s room, across from Finley’s and I knew from growing up there the walls were thin.

But I had the feeling something was on his mind, something was concerning him, something he wasn’t sharing. And I’d have to give up sex to get it.

I was prepared to do this. But when I walked through his back gate and hit his backdoor the last three days, Mike was prepared for something else. I knew this when he grabbed my hand, dragged me through the house and up to his bed without delay.

I would have been okay to take the thirty seconds it took to hit his bed and use it wisely on his couch.

Mike was a bed man. I didn’t know if he paid so much for it he wanted to get as much use out of it as he could or if he didn’t want to be sitting on his couch with his kids thinking of doing me there.

I did know he was an adventurous lover. To get me off and him off in thirty minutes, he got resourceful.

Needless to say, Mike, his body, his mouth, his hands and his ingenuity, all of which ended with his smiles and his slow burn kisses, I didn’t protest and demand we chat over sandwiches instead of getting down to business.

As busy as he was, as brief as our quickies and conversations were, Mike made certain I knew he was thinking of me. And he did this yesterday afternoon when another delivery boy arrived from Janet’s Flower Shop. This time, a lush, close bunch of vibrant pink and so deep purple they were nearly blue hyacinths.

The card said,

Angel,

You didn’t mention it but I didn’t forget it. I missed Valentine’s Day.

But this day is more important, our anniversary.

Mike

At first, I didn’t understand. Then, I remembered it was Wednesday. I got home on a Wednesday. I forgave him on a Wednesday and we reconciled on that Wednesday.

Our anniversary.

Getting those flowers and note, I didn’t squeal inside. I melted.

I never knew a man who remembered stuff like that so I never had a man who remembered stuff like that. I’d had men give me flowers and I didn’t know if Janet was just super talented or Mike had fantastic taste because I might have had flowers but never any as strikingly beautiful as the ones Mike sent. Never having a man who did something like that, remembered shit that was important and made a point of letting you know it, I didn’t know it would feel so damned good.

But it did.

It was also a surprise. Mike was thoughtful, definitely, but he didn’t strike me as a flowers type of guy. So it was a surprise but a pleasant one because, as with everything he did, he did it really well.

Even with his focus on me in good ways, I still knew he was preoccupied and I needed to take his pulse and the more time that went by where I didn’t find my opportunity to do it, the more my concern grew. But with our lives the way they were, I didn’t see that opportunity opening up anytime soon.

It was going to be a long week and a day (and I was counting them down) before I got unadulterated Mike time.

There was movement at the barn doors, my head went from the vase I was making to them and I saw Rees hesitantly standing there.

A surprise.

“Hey, honey,” I called.

“Uh…hey, Dusty. Sorry,” she shifted as if to move away. “You’re busy.”

“Come in, Rees,” I invited. “If I can work and listen to rock ‘n’ roll then I can work and talk to my girl.”

“Sure?”

“Definitely. Hit the music and pull up a bale of hay.”

I focused back on what I was doing while Rees wandered around me. The music didn’t go away but she turned it down. Then she grabbed a bale of hay, tugged it close to where I was working and sat down on it. My eyes slid to her several times as she did this and continued to slide to her as she sat, watching my hands work.

I decided since she sought me out to let her set the scene.

It took her a few moments but finally, she set it.

“That’s pretty,” she said softly, I looked to her to see her eyes still on my hands.

“Thanks,” I replied. “It’ll be prettier when it’s fired and glazed.”

“Cool,” she whispered.

“Wanna learn how to do it?”

“No.”

This came so swiftly, I glanced at her again to see she’d leaned back a bit and had a funny look on her face.

“No?” I asked quietly.

Her eyes went to my face then back to my hands and she murmured, “I’m not good at that kind of stuff. You showed No, half an hour, he’d make something awesome. I’m not like that.”

This was telling.

No was a good basketball player, the best in school. And everyone talked about his band, said the other boys in it were okay but No was awesome. I got this information from Kirby who pretty much thought No’s shit didn’t stink. He had no reason to talk No up, he was just sharing. I was getting the impression that Fin was Brownsburg High School’s resident hot guy and Jonas Haines was its cool guy. The girls swooned when Fin was around, secretly hoping he’d turn his broody intensity their way and they could soothe his savaged soul. The girls swooned when No was around, secretly hoping he’d flash them his easy, lazy smile and they could bask in his glory.

But Kirby didn’t feel overshadowed by his brother. Darrin, even Rhonda and, lastly, Fin saw to that. He had his place in the family, his strengths were recognized and praised. Fin and Kirb didn’t get along every second of every day but they were tight. Kirby looked up to his brother and Fin guided him with a gentle hand making that big brother worship worth it.

I saw with Clarisse’s reaction there was another dynamic at play in the Haines household. Rees felt overshadowed by the number of her brother’s clear talents. She bickered with her brother but good-naturedly so I didn’t feel it was the dysfunction I had with Debbie. It wasn’t No rubbing in his abilities and popularity.

It was something else.

And I figured I knew what it was.

Things were coming clearer with Rees. She had a Dad who adored her, a brother she was close to but no mother who recognized and praised her. Daddy’s little girl and big brother’s little sister, those were a given if you had them all your life. But Mom could guide you on the journey to understanding who you were and help you cement your value as a woman.

Audrey Haines was not doing that and Clarisse was lost.

Treading cautiously, I said, “That’s okay, honey. Not your gig, not your gig.”

We lapsed into silence.

Then, “No said you’d teach us how to ride horses.”

“Sure,” I glanced at her, “you want that?”

She nodded.

I looked down at the clay. “Wanna start Saturday?”

“That’d be cool.”

I shot her a grin, “Then we’re starting Saturday.”

She grinned back.

I looked back at my wheel. “Doing me a favor. My baby girls like company. They’ll love you.”

“Awesome,” she whispered.

More silence.

Then, “Um…Dusty?”

“Yeah?”

“I, uh, have some jeans to take back. And my grandparents sent some money. I really like that bracelet you bought me and I don’t wanna know what it costs or anything but I’d like to know where you got it. Would you, um…maybe like to, uh…go shoppin’ with me?”

That time, I shot her a smile. “Fan…freaking…tastic. I’d love that. My girl Jerra is down in Texas and I don’t have anyone to shop with me here. We’ll kick some mall butt then we’ll do something girlie like drink seven thousand calorie coffee drinks and people watch. After your horseback riding lesson Saturday. Is that a plan?”

She smiled and it was genuine, no hesitancy, her beautiful brown eyes alight. “Definitely.”

I looked back down at my wheel, muttering, “Something to look forward to.”

“Cool,” she whispered then more silence then, “Uh…I, well, you know, you’re teachin’ me to ride your horses and takin’ me shoppin’ and all and maybe…” she trailed off and I positioned my hands so even though the clay kept moving the shape would not change and my eyes hit her.

Softly, I said, “Clarisse, honey, you’ll learn as you get to know me but there is nothing you can’t talk to me about, nothing you can’t ask. I can’t say yes to everything and you gotta know, no matter what we talk about, I’ll be honest, straight up. And some of my honesty you may not wanna hear. But I’ll be nice about it. Always. So if you have something to say or ask, say it. I have all the time in the world for you, honey, I promise. So take it. It’s yours.”

She stared at me, lips parted then blurted, “I want you to teach me how to do my makeup like you did it for my birthday party. No one ever…” She paused then finished on a rush, “I taught myself and I’m not very good at it. But you are. So I thought, if you don’t mind, you could teach me.”

I felt something hit my throat and it burned at the same time it took everything I had to keep my hands where they were on the vase and not get up, hunt Audrey fucking Haines down and kick her goddamned ass.

In front of me, a fifteen year old who had no idea the force of her beauty had been cast adrift.

It wasn’t about makeup.

It was about everything.

I shuddered to think what happened when Rees started her period. Her friends probably gave her advice and the very thought scared the hell out of me. Mike could not go there. He didn’t want to, for one thing. For another, he knew the workings of the female body but I doubted he could extol the virtues of tampons versus pads or different tampons versus other tampons and vice versa with pads. He could not commiserate with, educate about and thus help alleviate cramps. He could not discuss mood swings, how to feel them coming on and how to attempt to control them.

Fucking Audrey Fucking Haines.

Bitch.

“New plan. You come Saturday morning, I teach you to ride horses. Then we clean up and I give you pointers on how to make beauty even more beautiful. After we wring that miracle, we go to the mall, try on a bunch of stuff, trade out your jeans, drink coffee and people watch. We on?”

She grinned at me and whispered, “Yeah.”

“Excellent,” I murmured then looked back at the vase.

There was more silence. This lasted longer.

It lasted so long I was about to fill it when Rees piped up, “Dusty?”

“Baby,” I whispered, grinning to my vase, “I haven’t moved.”

She giggled.

I liked it. It was soft and beautiful just like her voice.

Then she asked, “You said I can talk to you about anything?”

“Yep.”

“Um…Fin asked me out.”

My hands slid through the clay, ruining the vase and Clarisse jumped.

“Oh no!” she cried, her eyes filled with horror. “I made you ruin it!”

“Finley asked you out?” I asked.

Her eyes shot to me. “I…uh, sorry!” she exclaimed. “He’s your nephew and –”

I threw my muddy hands in the air and yelled, “Right on!” I dropped them and smiled at her. “When are you going? Where are you going? Oh my God! This is so cool!”

She smiled hesitantly at me then her smile wavered. “Well, um…Dad says I can’t date until I’m sixteen.”

Shit. In the thrill of the moment, I totally forgot that.

Shit!

“Dang,” I muttered, “he mentioned that.”

Her head tipped to the side and her perfectly arched dark brows drew together, “He did?”

I looked into her eyes and confirmed, “He did.”

“So, um…when he did, did he seem, uh…firm?”

“Yes,” I told her honestly then grinned. “But, you know, a car date is one thing,” I stated thinking, for Fin, it wasn’t a car date but a truck date, a truck with a bench seat date which no way in hell would Mike approve of, “but, have you done your homework?”

She blinked then her face closed down.

“No, I should be doin’ it now but –”

I cut her off. “Well, seeing as Fin is a couple years older than you, if you brought your books over, you had any questions, he might be able to help you out.”

Her eyes held mine and I watched light dawn.

It was a beautiful thing.

Then a slow smile spread across her beautiful face.

That was gorgeous.

“And,” I went on, “you both have to eat and you live nearly right next door to each other. Rhonda’s a good cook. So am I. So is your Dad. Bet you’d like our cooking and Fin would like your Dad’s.”

I watched her gorgeous smile get more gorgeous.

“And,” I kept going, “you both have televisions and I bet you both watch them. No reason you both couldn’t watch them together.”

“Yeah, I have to eat and I watch TV all the time,” she confirmed.

“There you go,” I replied then immediately stood up and invited, “Let’s go see what Fin’s doing. He may have time to help with homework.”

Her smile got huge. I returned it, bent down, turned off the wheel, plunged my hands in the bucket of water that I kept close then grabbed a towel. Without further delay, I threw Rees another grin, jerked my head at her to follow me and I hightailed it to the house.

We were in the kitchen when I turned and said, “Wait here, give me a minute.”

She nodded.

I took off down the hall calling, “Fin! You here?”

“Yeah, Aunt Dusty!” I heard from upstairs.

I turned around the foot of the stairs and jogged up. Fin met me at the top.

I looked up at him. “Got your homework done?” I asked and watched his face get slightly hard.

I’d learned since being home that Fin was way past mothering. I tried it once, he shut me down. Then, shortly after, I found he didn’t need it. He did his homework and not only that, he urged his brother to do his. He saw to shit that needed to be seen to like closing down the house at night, turning off lights, making sure doors were locked, muttering quiet words to his brother to get to bed. He’d slid without effort into Darrin’s role in the Holliday household. Surprisingly, at seventeen and very soon after his father died, he’d seen what had to be done and he already knew what he wanted in his life. So he assumed the role of the man of the house without attitude or complaint.

So an indication from me that he was still a kid was not welcome.

“I –” he started but I interrupted him.

“See, Clarisse came by to talk about learning how to ride horses and going to the mall.” The hardness swept clean from Fin’s face and his eyes went alert as I carried on, “Then she shared she hadn’t yet done her homework. Been a while since I’ve been in high school but I remember it was more fun to do it with a study partner. Not to mention, if you’ve got someone older than you, they might help you out if you got caught on something. You think you might help Rees with her homework?”

His eyes were now not only alert but alight.

“Yeah,” he said quietly and I buried my grin.

Then I said, “Well, she probably doesn’t need help walking back to her house to get her books so you two can study at the kitchen table. But I bet she wouldn’t mind the company and she’s downstairs in the kitchen now.”

Fin held my eyes. Then he jerked up his chin and instantly made to move to the stairs.

Yeah, my Finley liked Rees Haines.

I grabbed his arm quickly before he could disappear.

“Two things, honey,” I said when he turned his eyes to me.

I got another chin jerk.

God, so Darrin.

I took in a breath and reminded him in a quiet voice, “She’s fifteen and her Dad is a cop.”

“Got it,” Fin whispered.

My fingers curled deeper into his bicep and I continued, “I bet you do. But I’ll just reiterate, she’s young, she likes you, she doesn’t know anything but good men in her life so she’ll trust you and you need to protect that. And if you don’t, you’ll be answering to her father and he’s not a man whose respect you throw away. Are you with me?”

Fin held my eyes, a muscle jumping in his cheek. This was because he loved me but he was right then pissed at me. And he was because he gave a shit about Rees and my reminding him of these things, he read, was me thinking he was a certain type of guy who he might be but had no intention of being with Rees.

I got closer and said even quieter. “I’m getting the impression her Mom’s not the greatest. Someone needs to look after her. I like her. So I’ve decided that’s me. And that’s where I’m coming from with this.”

He held my eyes, the muscle stopped jerking in his cheek and he murmured, “Good. ‘Cause she does need that ‘cause her Mom’s a freakin’ bitch.”

There it was. Further confirmation.

I took my hand from his arm and encouraged, “Go forth, have fun and, you know, if she’s got tons of work to do and that leads you into dinner, shame she has to rush across the field to eat. She should just stay here. I’ll be happy to call her Dad if it comes to that.”

That got me a grin.

“I could ask but I reckon Reesee’s buried,” Fin informed me. “She’ll definitely have to stay for dinner.”

Reesee.

Nice.

If he calls her that, she probably loves it.

“Then I better call Mike,” I muttered.

“Yeah.”

I smiled at him.

He smiled back at me.

Then he jogged down the stairs.

I listened like any busybody, matchmaking aunt would do as I heard the murmurings from downstairs and the backdoor open and close. And like any busybody, matchmaking aunt would do, I rushed to the end of the hall and looked out the window to watch two teenagers walk across the field. I had no qualms doing it and was thrilled I did when a third of the way across the field, Fin got tired of Rees being shy and he teasingly bumped into her and he did it hard. She went semi-flying to the side which meant Fin had to catch her and he did this by grabbing her hand and pulling her close.

Then he didn’t let go of her hand.

I watched her tip her head back and twist it to the side to grin up at him.

Fin did the same but looking down at the same time pulling her closer.

Seriously, he was seventeen but my nephew had it going on.

I smiled, turned away from the window and remembered my hands were still slightly muddy. So I went to the bathroom, washed them, toweled off, grabbed my muddy towel and walked out.

Then I stopped.

Fin would have Kirb in his room doing his homework. As had happened since I got home, I knew Kirby wouldn’t come down and park his ass in front of the TV until he was done.

Rhonda, however, I had no clue where she was. It was two choices, kitchen or her bedroom. And she wasn’t in the kitchen.

So I headed to her bedroom.

The door was slightly ajar so I knocked and stuck my head in.

“Rhonda?”

She was on her side in the bed, back to me. She also didn’t reply. She did this a lot, lying in the bed she shared with my brother, not reading, not watching TV, just lying there.

Not good.

“Rhonda, honey, are you napping?” I called softly.

She rolled, sat up, her legs sliding over the side and she looked at me.

I knew my brother. I knew my brother was attracted to Rhonda because she was a sensitive soul he felt he needed protect. But he was also a good-looking man who found himself a very pretty woman. Twenty years and two kids later, she was no less pretty. Lots of dark hair she had cut at her shoulders, the style not overtly fashionable but definitely becoming. Big, blue eyes. Flawless skin.

Now that hair was not styled and even a little ratty, those eyes were empty and the skin was pale and not in a late February in Indiana kind of way. In a not eating enough, not getting enough exercise, breathing but not living kind of way.

“Hey,” she greeted like I was a surprise visitor at the front door.

I stared at her. Then Fin seeking solace and getting it from a sweet, bashful teenage girl and not from his mother hit me and I decided it was time to take another shot.

So I walked into the room and informed her, “Clarisse Haines is gonna come over to study with Fin and she’s staying for dinner.”

Rhonda cocked her head to the side looking mildly perplexed.

Then she stated, “I have two packages of chicken breasts. The boys each eat two. If you and me both have one, I’ll have enough.”

I’d just told her, essentially, that Fin was starting to see my new boyfriend’s daughter who lived across the way and all she had was chicken breasts?

I walked further into the room and informed her on a grin, “He likes her, like, a whole lot.”

“Of course,” Rhonda replied. “She’s pretty.”

“She is,” I agreed. “And I think this is good for him because she’s sweet. You know, to have something nice like this with Darrin gone.”

Her eyes immediately drifted across the room.

“Rhonda,” I called and it wasn’t sharp but it was attention-getting so she looked back at me. When her eyes hit mine, I changed the subject. “Did you call Mimi about going back to work like we talked about?” I asked.

“Yeah. She said she was real sorry but she had to hire someone else to cover my shifts.”

Damn. Rhonda needed a focus, something to do with her days. She needed to be around people. She needed a reminder that there was life outside the loss of her husband and this farm.

“You want me to talk to her? See if she’ll take you back on? Maybe there’s frequent turnover at the coffee house. Could be, you could pick up more hours. Maybe go full-time. You’re great at baking, maybe you could help her in the kitchen too,” I suggested and Rhonda’s eyes got wide.

“I can’t do full-time,” she told me.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well, ‘cause I got a house. I got things to do.”

“Rhonda, honey,” I moved to the bed and sat down beside her. “You clean the house once a week. Those boys, they eat, I’ll give you that but you do a weekly massive grocery shop. Women with full-time jobs see to their house and their kids all the time.” I grinned. “And, think you noticed, they’re good kids, responsible. They’re doing good. They’re keeping on. Not to mention, I’m here to help out.”

She stared at me and replied, “Darrin didn’t think I needed to do full-time. He liked me home.”

I reached out, grabbed her hand and held it firm when I reminded her softly and gently, “Darrin isn’t here anymore, honey.”

Her eyes drifted.

I gave her hand a squeeze but didn’t get her eyes back. Still, I kept at her.

“You need to do something that doesn’t include lying in this bed, Rhonda. You need something to fill your time, something to think about. You need that for your boys and you need that,” I squeezed her hand again, “for you.”

She sighed, her hand limp in mine.

“Rhonda, would you please look at me?” I asked, she kept her eyes across the room, I scooted closer and repeated, “Rhonda, honey, please. Look at me.”

She gave me her eyes. Hers were vacant. Switched off. Totally.

I kept at her. “Think about it. I’ll talk to Mimi. I’ll get a paper. We’ll find you something you like to do. I promise you won’t have to do anything you don’t like. But the time has come for you to stop spending all your time in this bed and start to check back in.” I gave her another squeeze and said, “Think about it. Promise me.”

She stared at me then, more to get me to move on then to give me an answer, she nodded.

“Thanks,” I whispered knowing I was no further in my endeavors to get my sister-in-law to snap out of it.

I let her go and moved out of the room, out of the house and back to my wheel to salvage the vase that would one day make me two hundred dollars richer which would go a long way to keeping my baby girls in oats.

As I sat, before I got my hands back in the clay, I tagged my cell phone, scrolled to Mike and hit go.

It rang twice before, “Hey, Angel. In a meeting.”

There it was. Never any time to communicate.

“Right, can I just tell you a couple of things quickly?” I asked.

“Yep,” Mike answered.

“Hang onto your hat,” I advised.

“Shit,” Mike muttered and I grinned.

“Good news, no Debbie.”

“Right,” he prompted, saying the word slowly when I said no more.

“And the great news for two people we care about but maybe not for you is that Fin asked Rees out. So she approached me to approach you about letting her go on a real date. I gave her the bad news that you were firm about sixteen. But I also kinda guided her to the realization that car dates were not the only option. She’s studying with Fin now and since she’s got a lot of work to do, we’ve asked her to stay for dinner.”

This got me silence.

I talked through it, “Oh, and I’m teaching her to ride horses on Saturday then we’re going to the mall.”

“It’s good you bought the chore of takin’ my girl to the mall after you guided her to the realization that car dates weren’t the only option.”

He sounded peeved.

I pressed my lips together but I did this to stop myself from smiling.

“Jesus,” he muttered.

“It’s happening, you already knew it would, you gotta roll with it,” I advised.

“Right. No studying in his room,” Mike declared.

“Gotcha, already informed Fin it was the kitchen table.”

“And Saturday, she has the money she has from her birthday and trading the jeans. No more and, sweetheart, she’ll give you big eyes and sweet pouts but even if she sees stuff she’s real good at convincing you she has to have, she doesn’t. Presents are one thing. She’s still three weeks out on her allowance and I do not want what was becoming a habit of her begging and borrowing to buy shit she does not need actually to become that habit. You get me?”

I got him. I so got him.

But I needed detail.

“Can I buy her a coffee drink?”

“Yes.”

“If she wants another piece of jewelry from that place I got her present, can I buy her that so she’ll like me more, want me around and maybe she’ll be open to me someday soon spending more nights than four a month in her Dad’s bed, some of those nights she’s in hers?”

“Bribery?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” I answered.

I heard him chuckle.

Then he stated in a quiet voice, “Make it clear it’s special, Dusty. Not a bribe. Not something that will happen every time you go out. You are not a new person for Reesee to hit up when she’s convinced she needs some shit to fill some hole that I gotta figure out what she really needs to fill it.”

Seriously, Mike and I had to talk. If he hadn’t figured it out then I was probably closer to knowing what it was then he was.

And Rees was closer to getting it.

My eyes went out the barn to see Fin holding the backdoor open for Rees to go through. Her book bag was over his shoulder. It didn’t look heavy but he still carried it for her.

Seriously, Fin had it going on.

I watched them go through. Then I watched the backdoor close.

Definitely closer to getting it.

“Angel?” Mike called.

“Special. Not a bribe,” I confirmed. “And…Mike?”

“Yeah.”

“Honey, we have to find time to connect and I don’t mean bodily.”

He sounded alert when he asked swiftly, “Everything okay?”

“For me, surprisingly, yeah. For you, I’m sensing, no. You told me you were there to talk things through with. Goes both ways.”

This was met with more silence.

Then I heard, soft and sweet, “I got a meeting, sweetheart.”

“Right.”

“Do you get me?” he asked and I didn’t.

“Get you?”

“I’m at a meeting,” he stated, I stared at the ruined clay and then light dawned.

He had words he wanted to say and he couldn’t because there were people around.

“I get you,” I whispered.

“Right. We’ll connect. Promise.”

“Okay.”

“I want my daughter home by nine,” he decreed.

He was such a good Dad. That was study time, dinner time and TV time.

“Okay,” I repeated then added, “And just so you know, you being a good Dad and giving that to Rees and Fin, right now, I wanna kiss you all over.”

More silence then, “Jesus.”

I grinned.

Then I got a, “Later, darlin’.”

So I gave a, “Later, gorgeous.”

I hit the button on my phone, threw it to my side and dipped my hands in the water in order to drip it on the drying clay.

Then I turned on my wheel.

“In life, am I gonna use geometry?” Clarisse asked Fin, he looked from her paper to her and grinned.

“No clue,” he answered.

“So is there a point?” she asked.

His grin died and he held her eyes.

His were very blue.

“Do you know what you wanna do?” he asked.

“Do?” she asked back.

“After high school.”

On that, she had no clue so she shrugged.

“Right,” he replied. “You don’t know, until you do know you gotta lay the groundwork.”

“I’m pretty certain what I wanna do won’t have anything to do with geometry,” she shared and he grinned again.

Then he said soft, “Not what I mean, Reesee.”

God, she never thought she’d love it, anyone but her Dad and No calling her that.

But she loved it when Fin called her that.

“What do you mean?” she asked soft back.

“You might go to school, college. If you do, you gotta have the grades. You fuck this up, get a shit grade, fucks up your average. You don’t learn it, you can’t answer the questions on the SATs. So, until you get an idea of where you wanna go, you gotta do the work to cover your bases.”

Seriously, he was so smart. She didn’t know anybody like him. Not at school. He was like, practically an adult, he was that smart.

“Right,” she whispered.

They were at right angles at the kitchen table but after she said that word, he scooched his chair around so he was super close.

“Break it down for me, do the work out loud. We’ll try to figure out where you aren’t gettin’ it.”

Oh God! She couldn’t do that! He’d think she was stupid.

She stared at his profile as he stared at her paper, waiting for her to do the work. As she did, she wondered if she was weird thinking he had really beautiful lips. The bottom one was full and both of them had these ridges…

When she didn’t move or speak, his neck twisted and, head still bent, only his eyes came to her.

That close, he was even cuter.

Her belly fluttered.

“Rees?” he called.

Nervous, she blurted straight out, “I don’t want you to think I’m stupid.”

He blinked then he straightened, never taking his eyes from her.

“Why would I think you’re stupid?” he asked.

“I don’t…I mean,” she looked down at the paper then at him. “You’re good at that. You worked out three questions showin’ me how to do it in the time I did one and I got mine wrong when you checked it.”

“Babe, you don’t get geometry, that doesn’t mean you’re stupid. It just means you don’t get geometry. A lot of people don’t get geometry.”

That was a nice thing to say. But still.

Her eyes dropped down to the table. “I don’t get a lot of stuff,” she muttered at the paper.

“Reesee,” he called again and she looked at him.

That was when he did it. Leaned in and got super close. Super close. So close all she could see were his eyes!

“You get shit that matters,” he whispered.

“What?” she breathed.

“You said your Dad was happy. Aunt Dusty was tight with my Dad. They talked all the time. But she’s singin’ and dancin’ and laughin’ and bein’ crazy and it’s crazier than the usual way she does it. You gave her that.”

Clarisse blinked then she said quietly, “You helped.”

“It was your idea,” he reminded her then went on, “You read those diaries and you knew. So you did somethin’ about it. If you do that for your Dad because he’s a good guy and looks out for you, who cares if you don’t get geometry?”

She had to admit, he had a point.

So she smiled at him.

His eyes changed when she did. It seemed they were looking deeper into hers. Then his dropped to her mouth and her belly fluttered again.

Then he moved back a few inches and muttered, “But let’s get you to the point where you can get this enough that you pass this class.”

And she had to admit, if she passed this class, that would make her Dad happier.

“Okay,” she agreed.

“Now, work through it out loud,” he repeated.

Clarisse did what he said.

Fin caught where she was going wrong. He had to explain it three times through the next three problems but finally, she got it.

He moved to his English Comp homework but when he checked her work, she got only one wrong. And she’d worked through fourteen questions.

Clarisse thought everything about Fin Holliday was awesome.

Now she knew he was more awesome than awesome.

She didn’t know what that was. She just knew Fin was it.

Mike hit the button to disconnect his phone call from Dusty and looked across the desk at Tanner Layne but the question came from his side.

“Whipped?”

Mike turned and his eyes hit the huge, bald, muscled, tattooed, tank top in February wearing, scarily grinning Ryker seated at his side.

“Absolutely.”

The scary grin turned into an ugly smile.

Then Ryker announced with a jerk of his head toward Tanner, “His woman tells my woman she bakes great cakes.”

Mike did not want to do this with Cal.

He definitely didn’t want to do this with Ryker.

Therefore, he stated low and firm, “We’re not doing this.”

Ryker’s grin went satanic.

Jesus.

“Ryker, a little focus?” Tanner thankfully called from across his desk in his office where they were sitting and Ryker’s eyes cut to him. “McGrath?” Tanner prompted.

“I spill, I get cake,” Ryker declared, jerking his head to Mike. “Made by his woman.”

“Done,” Mike replied. “Now, McGrath.”

Ryker looked at him.

Then he laid it out. “He wants that farm, they’re fucked. Go to your woman, tell her and her family to pack their bags. They’re gone.”

Shit, shit, fuck.

“Explain,” Mike growled.

“He’s got ways. He’s got means. His business doesn’t cross my business so I don’t give a fuck. I go my own way. That don’t mean I don’t hear shit,” Ryker explained.

“And what do you hear?” Mike asked.

“That McGrath’s got ways and means,” Ryker answered.

Mike drew in breath, patience eluding him. He searched for it and with effort found it.

Then he asked, “Is he the front man?”

“Dunno. Don’t care enough to know.”

Tanner stepped in at this juncture. “I think, me askin’ you to sit here with Mike, you knowin’ the deal, you get that Mike cares enough to know.”

Ryker looked at Tanner. “Like I said, bro, I don’t know this guy. I don’t know, I stick my nose in, how he’ll feel about that. I stick my nose in, he gets unhappy in a way it ain’t worth cake, I’m unhappy.”

“Tellin’ me he’s got ways and means doesn’t buy cake, Ryker,” Mike told him and Ryker’s eyes came back to him.

“Then sweeten the deal.”

“Name it,” Mike offered and Ryker’s stare got intense.

Then he muttered, “Whipped.”

“Two boys with a dead Dad, a checked out Mom and a legacy they’re powerless to protect,” Mike returned. “You want cake, you want ten fuckin’ cakes, Dusty’ll bake ‘em. She grew up there, her Dad grew up there, her Dad’s Dad and she wants her nephew to work that land primarily because he wants that. We already established I’m whipped. Got no problem with that considering how that’s come about puts me in a good mood. What doesn’t is this bullshit. You can help, you jump in. You want to hold a marker, you got it. You want payback, you name it. You can’t help, don’t waste my fuckin’ time.”

Ryker continued to stare at him intensely.

Then he kept muttering to say, “Think I underestimated you.”

“Brother, anyone who doesn’t wear a tank top and carry a knife, you underestimate. Jesus,” Tanner clipped. “Stop yankin’ Mike’s chain. You in or out?”

Ryker studied Tanner then his bald head swung Mike’s way and he studied him.

Then he said, “Two boys with a dead Dad, one of ‘em’s the shit at playin’ ball, this makes me feel generous. But I get cake. And I need you, I call on you. Firepower without the badge. You with me?”

Shit, shit, fuck.

Mike took a deep breath focusing on sandwiches in bed that never included sandwiches.

“You with me?” Ryker prompted.

Mike held his eyes and replied low, “You call your marker, you burn me, I burn you.”

“Fair enough,” Ryker muttered.

“Then we got a deal,” Mike declared.

Ryker grinned. Again it was satanic.

Shit, shit, fuck.

It was ten to nine. It was dark. It was cold. Winter was dying, spring on its heels, the temperature was rising but the chill was still sharp.

And Fin shouldn’t do what he was going to do. He shouldn’t do it. Her Dad was a cop. Her Dad would be looking out. If her Dad caught them, he would get way pissed.

But he was going to do it.

She’d let him in, his Reesee. A little bit and then more and then more since her birthday party but today she gave it away.

She didn’t know how to work it. She was shy.

He liked that. He liked that someone as pretty as her could be shy. She could have any boy eating out of her hand and she had no clue.

No fucking clue.

Yeah, he liked that.

So he was going to do it.

And he did.

They were at her back gate and she turned to him probably to say good-bye.

He didn’t let her. He took a big step back, his hand already in hers giving it a tug. She wasn’t expecting it and lost her footing, fell into him.

He liked that too. She wasn’t expecting it.

Fuck, he was going to be her first kiss.

God, he liked that too.

Never having done it, not even knowing why he did, he lifted a hand to cup her jaw, using it to tilt her face to his.

He caught the surprise in her eyes even in the moonlight.

Yes. He was going to be her first kiss.

He dropped his mouth to hers.

She got stiff, he felt it and powered through it.

Never having done it, not even knowing why he did, he slid his hand from her jaw into her hair.

Jesus, it was soft and so fucking thick.

He touched his tongue to her lips.

Probably in surprise, they opened.

He slid his tongue inside.

She made a little noise in her throat.

Seriously, he liked that too.

She stayed stiff then her body seemed to like, melt, or something, into his.

Jesus, God, he liked that too.

Before he did something stupid, he ended the kiss. Lifting his head away but not letting her go, he looked down at her.

Her face soft, her eyes a little hazy in a cute way, Fin thought she’d never looked prettier.

“Ask your Dad,” he muttered, “I wanna come over for dinner tomorrow.”

“Okay,” she said and it was all breathy.

Yeah, unbelievably cute.

His hand slid out of her hair and he took his time, his skin liking the feel of it gliding through. Then, gentle-like, he tugged her hand in his and guided her back to the gate. He opened it and led her through. Then he led her up her yard. He heard her dog, Layla, woofing excitedly and he could see her shaking at the door.

He liked Rees’s dog. His family had one for years but she died a couple of months before his Dad did. His Dad had said they were gonna get another one, maybe two. He just never got around to doing it. Maybe they should get one. Something for his Ma to think about.

Mr. Haines was on the couch, arm wide resting on the back, head twisted, eyes on Fin and Reesee. Fin felt their sharpness even through the cold dark.

He lifted up his chin. Mr. Haines lifted his in return but didn’t tear his eyes away from Fin with his girl.

Parts of that sucked, obvious ones, but at least Reesee had a Dad who gave a shit considering her Mom didn’t.

He walked her up to the back deck to the backdoor and stopped. He squeezed her hand, looking down at her. She looked up still hazy.

Christ. So fucking cute.

“Dinner, tomorrow night,” he said firmly, giving her hand another squeeze.

“Right, Fin.”

“I liked you at my house tonight,” he told her, flat out. No more games. She wasn’t playing him. She wasn’t working it. She was shy. He got that now. It was time to throw that other shit away.

Her lips parted like she was shocked or something. Then she smiled.

“I liked it too.”

He was right. It was time to throw that other shit away. No more games. Mainly because she didn’t know how to play them and something in Fin said he never wanted her to learn.

He gave her hand another squeeze. “See you at school tomorrow.”

“Right,” she whispered.

“You sit with me at lunch,” he ordered and she blinked. “All through,” he finished.

“Uh…okay.” She was still whispering.

“All through, Rees. You want, I’ll meet you at your last class before lunch and walk you to the cafeteria.”

“I have Mrs. Layne.”

She wanted him to meet her there.

Good.

“I’m down the hall. I’ll meet you outside Mrs. Layne’s door.”

She nodded.

He squeezed her hand again and this time he didn’t release the pressure.

She held just as tight.

Then he whispered, “’Night, babe.”

“Goodnight, Fin.”

He let her go, looked to see that Mr. Haines still had his eyes on them and Fin gave him a chin lift. Then he gave Reesee a smile. She smiled back.

Then he tipped his head to the door to indicate she should go through. He didn’t start walking away until she was through, the door was closed and Layla was attacking her.

Then he walked home thinking he’d given Clarisse Haines her first kiss and thinking it would far from suck if he was also the guy who gave her her last with no one in between.