Games of the Heart

Chapter Eighteen Promise

Fin and I moved through Mike’s backyard to his backdoor, Fin carrying his book bag over his shoulder.

The corn needed to go in so we were putting it in. Dad and I on tractors working all day, Fin and Kirb working with us on the weekends. When Fin got home from school, until dusk started to fall, he was on a tractor. Dad told him this was unnecessary but Fin was adamant he do his bit. This meant homework waited until dinnertime. This also meant Rees’s homework waited until dinnertime. But they ate with their books around them, talking low and studying. Then they’d camp out in front of the TV. The night would end with Clarisse walking with Fin to the back gate, they’d both disappear behind it for about twenty minutes and Clarisse would come back without Fin.

Through this, I’d often glance Fin’s way, wishing I was seventeen again.

This was because I was relatively fit but working the fields meant I was flat exhausted by the time I parked my ass in front of the TV with the family. But going to school, coming home, doing his bit on the farm, eating and studying apparently didn’t faze Fin at all.

It was Wednesday after I moved in. The kids took me being there in stride. Even though Mike said it was their idea and their texts indicated they were up for it, I couldn’t help it. I was bit nervous. But the instant they got back on Sunday I saw it was no big deal to them. Then again, the two weeks prior to me moving in I was over most nights with Fin and we’d kept the same schedule. Work in the fields, clean up, go over to Mike’s, Mike or Rees had dinner made, the kids studied, I parked my ass with No and Mike on the couch and zoned out in front of the TV.

So that was good.

Rhonda was not.

I’d taken the time that day to have another chat with her. With Mom helping with the housework not to mention working in the window boxes and planters dotted around the large grassy space in the yard getting them ready for flowers, Rhonda had even less focus. She was now no longer spending all her time in her room. Now she was watching daytime TV. She still wasn’t eating much. And she was still definitely hazy.

I was a patient person but I was beginning to lose it. I had made several attempts, coming at her from different directions, trying different tactics. I showed her want ads and the results of internet searches I’d done. I’d tried to get her interested in my horses. I’d told her I needed help with my pottery, crating it up and getting it ready to ship to my gallery. Then I told her I seriously needed help with my pottery seeing as most of the time my ass was now on a tractor. She wasn’t interested or she’d try it for a day or two then slack off.

I knew Mom spoke with her more than once too. And Dad even sat her down for a Dad talk.

No go.

I couldn’t step into her shoes. I never lost a husband I adored before. What I did know was that I lost a brother, my parents lost a son and my nephews lost a father and all of us seemed to be able to get on with things.

I didn’t want to think it, I certainly wouldn’t say it but I had to admit it was getting ridiculous.

Something had to wake her shit up. I just didn’t know what.

I sighed a heavy sigh.

Fin and I were nearing the backdoor when we heard it.

Rees shouting, “That’s stupid!”

Then No shouting back, “It is not stupid!”

I looked to Fin, he looked at me and we both quickened our pace.

We made it through the door to see the combatants were facing off in the living room. Layla woofed a greeting at us but didn’t approach. This was because she was dancing between No and Rees, agitated, not liking the vibe and seeing as she was a dog, powerless to do anything about it. Still, she was sticking close in case they needed her.

No looked to us and remarked, “Great, you’re here. Now Rees and me can stop talkin’. Or, more important, Rees can shut up.”

“I’m not shuttin’ up!” Rees yelled.

“Reesee,” Fin said low, soft, his tone a command for her to calm down and her eyes shot to him.

“I’m not, Fin,” she declared.

I didn’t know whether to shout, “You go, girl”, pleased she was sticking to her guns (whatever those guns may be) even though her hot guy boyfriend made an unmistakable but soft command. Or whether to be impressed Fin could pull off that tone at seventeen. Or to wade into the argument. So I didn’t do any of them.

Then again, I didn’t have a chance to wade in.

No turned immediately back to his sister. “It’s my birthday, Rees.”

“We always go out. Always. You can’t skip family time to be with your crew. That’s jacked. If we don’t go out, Dad will be upset,” Rees countered.

I looked to Fin, he looked to me then back to the brother and sister while crossing his arms on his chest. Settling in. I decided this was wise so I took his cue.

“Well, we’re not goin’ out this year. It’s my birthday and if I wanna spend it with my buds, I’ll spend it with my buds,” No shot back.

“You can go out with them on the weekend or something,” she returned.

“I don’t wanna go out with them on the weekend. I’m gonna be seventeen, Rees, and I should be able to do whatever the hell I want,” No retorted.

“Well, you’re not doin’ that,” Rees fired back.

“I am,” No stated.

Rees pulled out the big guns, in other words, the most lethal weapon in a woman’s arsenal.

Emotional manipulation.

“You are not. Dusty’s here now. What’ll it say to Dad you break tradition the first year Dusty’s around? He’ll think you don’t want to spend time with Dusty!”

And that was when No lost it.

“That’s just it! Mom called and she said she wants to come to dinner with us. And we can’t all sit down at dinner so I’m not doin’ it at all. I’m goin’ out with my crew.”

Audrey. Fantastic.

I bit my lip. We all heard the garage door go up heralding Mike’s arrival home but No and Rees didn’t care. I knew this when Rees didn’t miss a beat.

“That’s awesome,” she said sarcastically. “So Mom. She doesn’t come to one of your birthday dinners in, like, four years and doesn’t even bother to take you out on one herself and all of a sudden, Dusty’s here, she’s fired up to come with. So Mom. Jacked. Totally.”

“Maybe, Rees, but I think you get that wouldn’t be fun for anybody,” No stated and he was right about that.

“No, what I get is that Mom is Mom and since you’re gonna be seventeen and all you can tell her to take a flying leap,” Rees returned.

“What’s goin’ on?” Mike asked and I looked to the hall to see him striding down it.

Layla took off his way.

Rees whirled to her Dad and instantly filled him in. “No’s decided that on his birthday next week, he’s goin’ out with his crew. This is because Mom has decided since Dusty’s here she’s gonna stick her nose in and she told No she wants to go out to dinner with us.”

I watched in fascination as Mike’s jaw got tight and a muscle jumped in his cheek. His eyes were unhappy. The whole thing was hot. It was also scary.

I moved to Fin and grabbed his forearm, starting, “We’ll just –”

Mike’s eyes sliced to me. “Don’t move,” he growled.

I stopped and dropped Fin’s arm, muttering, “Okey dokey.”

I didn’t do this because I was a wuss or anything. I did this because Mike’s demand we stay where we were had meaning. I suspected this meaning meant Fin and I were family, or at least I was, and during family discussions I didn’t absent myself.

Mike looked at his kids. “No, birthdays are family times.”

There it was. I was right.

Mike kept talking. “We’re doin’ what we always do. Goin’ out with family. That means you, your sister, her boyfriend, my woman, her friends who are visitin’ next week and me. You got a girl you wanna bring, you bring her. I get that you’d be conflicted. You love your Mom, you’re tryin’ to do right by Dusty. But your mother made a decision four years ago, she was invited to your birthday dinners and she refused to come. She doesn’t get to change her mind now. We’ve all moved on. You wanna be with your crew; you do it on the weekend. Your Mom wants to do something special with you; she finds her time to do that. When you’re out of high school and movin’ on, you can do what you want. We got a year and a half to be a family. We’re gonna take it.”

It was No’s turn for his jaw to go tight and a muscle to jump in his cheek and seeing it I got even more pissed at Audrey. No was an easygoing kid. He joked a lot, smiled a lot, teased a lot, laughed a lot. But it was clear he didn’t want to tell his Mom she wasn’t invited to his birthday dinner and that wasn’t on him. That was on Audrey.

She was such a cow.

Mike saw his son’s face and read it instantly. “I’ll speak with her,” he declared then swept the room with his eyes, stating, “No, Rees, in the kitchen. Dusty, Fin and I have had long days and we need dinner. You’re cookin’ it together.”

Seeing as the unhappy vibes were not gone, I wondered about this decision but I didn’t say anything since they weren’t my kids.

What I did do was follow Mike after he muttered, “I’m goin’ upstairs to change.”

Layla was at his heels, I was not far behind.

I hit the bedroom to see Mike throwing his blazer on the bed and he had his phone in his hand. His attention was to it and my attention was on my clothes all over the floor. I made a mental note to pick them up (eventually), when I heard him beeping buttons on his phone.

I closed him, Layla and me in by shutting the double doors as Mike turned to me and put the phone to his ear.

One look in his eyes and I knew he was not happy as in, at all.

“Audrey? Yeah, Mike,” he said into his phone. “I’m callin’ about No’s birthday.”

Oh boy, he was growling.

Mike went on growling, “No’s explained you’ve expressed the desire to go with us. It hasn’t escaped my notice that you’ve been makin’ an effort lately with the kids. No’s been tellin’ me their weekends with you are goin’ better and I appreciate your interest in Rees’s situation, emailin’ me schools you’ve looked into. You probably got it from the kids but should hear it from me that Dusty moved in on Friday. You understand I’ve moved on, you’ve said so yourself. Both the kids are tight with Dusty, we’re buildin’ somethin’ here, it’s good and Dusty and I are committed to keepin’ it good and makin’ it better. If you wanted us to have a different kind of separation and divorce, you could have made that decision any time in the last four years. You didn’t. Now it’s too late. You won’t be goin’ to dinner with us for No’s birthday.”

Mike paused, she might have said something but whatever it was didn’t take very long or Mike cut her off because he kept talking.

“If you’re learnin’ about yourself and tryin’ to be a better Mom, I suggest you take No and Reesee and do somethin’ special with them another time. I’ll also take this opportunity to make it clear that whatever you’re attemptin’ to do, it does not involve me or my time or the life I share with our children. As I’m sure you haven’t forgotten, I’ve extended that opportunity to you more than once the last four years and you refused to take advantage of it. I would have preferred that we get along and offer some family cohesiveness to our kids but you repeatedly declined. That offer is no longer open to you. So what I’m sayin’ to you is, I got home and Rees and No were fightin’ and upset because of this shit. And what I’m tellin’ you is, whatever you’re doin’, you need to think about the way it’ll affect our kids because they’re good kids. They care about all the players in this situation and they don’t want anyone hurt. To get wherever you wanna be in your life and with them, don’t make them anxious, upset, force them to play games or to make difficult decisions where someone will have to eat shit. Because in that kind of scenario, the people eatin’ shit will be our kids. And I’ll not have that. Are we clear?”

I thought it was cool he was growly, clearly pissed and firm but still not ugly as I watched him pause.

Then he said, “Good. Take care of yourself.”

Then he hit a button on his phone, twisted his torso and tossed it on the bed.

“You okay?” I asked.

He stared at me.

Then he said, “I will be, you get your ass over here and kiss me.”

I grinned. Then I got my ass over there and kissed him.”

It didn’t last long but that didn’t mean it wasn’t good before he broke it off, set me gently away, bent to put his long fingered hands to Layla’s head and give her a belated greeting rubdown. She clearly bore no grudge that it took her Dad a while to do this and I knew it when her body started vibrating with the force of her tail wags.

Mike stopped giving attention to his dog and wandered to the closet. Mike wore jeans to work but he put nice belts, killer buttoned shirts and attractive blazers with them so he still looked authoritative and professional but he was comfortable. When he came home, the blazer and belt were gone and the shirt was changed to a t-shirt or sweater depending on his mood.

I’d know his mood that night when he muttered, “Grab me a tee, will you, Angel?”

I went to the dresser to grab him a tee then went to the door of the closet to see him shrugging off his shirt and throwing it into the hamper.

I approached with the tee as he turned to me.

“Doesn’t have a top or anything,” he stated bizarrely. My head cocked to the side as I handed him his tee trying to ignore his chest, the hotness of which I still hadn’t gotten used to.

He scrunched up his tee in preparation for tugging it on when he explained, “The hamper. It’s open. You don’t have to lift a top off or anything. Just throw your clothes right in.”

I got it then, grinned and murmured, “Smartass.”

He grinned back. Then he pulled the tee over his head and down his torso hiding his chest which, obviously, was a disappointment.

Then we heard Rees shout, “We’re havin’ hamburgers!”

Mike’s eyes moved over my shoulder and he muttered, “Fuck, she’s in a mood.” Then he started walking my way.

“A mood?” I asked, turning and moving out of the closet, Mike following me.

“Yeah.” He was still muttering. “A once a month mood.”

“Uh-oh,” I mumbled.

“Yep,” Mike agreed.

We moved out of the hall, down the stairs, Layla trailing while we listened to the fight raging on.

“We had hamburgers, like, two days ago,” No returned loudly.

“We did not!” Rees shot back hotly.

“Okay, then, last week. Still, that wasn’t too long ago and I don’t want hamburgers,” No countered.

“Well I do and so does Fin,” Rees retorted.

“The world doesn’t revolve around Fin for anyone but you, Rees,” No unwisely stated.

I bit my lip as I hit the hall and entered the kitchen. The combatants were now in a faceoff by the kitchen counter. Fin was sitting at the table, his books already out. His eyes came to me and he shook his head.

Mike entered behind me.

Before either of us could get a word in, Rees continued.

“That was a jacked thing to say! Five people have to eat and two of those five people want hamburgers!” she screeched the last word, leaning in toward her brother. I knew this was a monthly mood considering the force of her declaration and the fact it was not about a woman’s right to chose but about hamburgers.

Then I would know No knew it too by what he said next.

“God! Why do you have to be such a pain in the ass when you’re on the rag?” he very unwisely asked and everyone in the room went still.

Then, her face aflame and showing clearly she was very near tears, Rees avoided everyone’s eyes and ran from the room, shoving both Mike and me aside to do it.

“No, dude, that was not cool,” Fin growled, his eyes on the door Rees disappeared through, his face a hard mask of anger.

“Fin’s right,” Mike clipped, his eyes locked on his son, “It absolutely was not.”

For his part, No had already come to the realization that he’d taken it too far and he looked like he wanted to kick himself. This was good because I loved that kid but I also, at that moment, wanted to kick him.

Instead, I muttered, “I’ll go talk to her.”

Then my eyes skidded through Mike’s angry ones, though his were locked on his son, and I followed Rees.

Her door was closed but I could hear the muffled sobs coming from inside.

I knocked to no answer. So I knocked again and again got no answer.

Then I opened the door a smidge, shoved my head in and saw she was curled on her bed with her back to the door.

“Hey, Reesee honey, can we talk?” I asked quietly.

“No,” she whimpered.

I thought about this then I made my decision and went for it.

I opened the door further, walked in then closed it behind me. Then I walked to her bed, sat on the opposite side of it and listened to her quiet weeping.

God, she even wept pretty. Yeesh.

I gave her a minute then said softly, “What No said was uncool and everyone down there knew it, even, after he said it in the heat of the moment, No.”

She didn’t reply.

I gave her another moment then went on, “It was written all over his face after he said it that he was sorry.”

That got me an, “I don’t care.”

If I were her at her age with my boyfriend there and what No said, I wouldn’t either.

So I told her gently, “I get that.”

Suddenly she turned, the pillow she was hugging went flying, she knifed up and her wet eyes came to me.

Yep, she wept pretty.

“God! That…that…it was humiliating,” she whispered. “I can’t…Fin…” she covered her face with her hands and through more tears kept whispering, this time dramatically, “I’ll never be able to look at him again.”

“I think that would upset Fin greatly considering he thinks the world of you and the second you ran out of the kitchen, he threw down with No on your behalf.”

Her hands slid from her face and her eyes came to me. Now they were not only wet, they were wide.

“He did?” She was still whispering.

I nodded. “He kept his seat but his meaning was clear when he told No what he said was not cool and your Dad concurred.”

Her eyes slid to the door and went unfocused.

I twisted on the bed until I was facing her and sitting cross-legged. Then I leaned my forearms into my legs and smiled at her.

“We get the pain, the cramps, the moods and the bother and we have to learn to live with that.” Her eyes came back to me. “Those guys down there also have to learn to live with stuff around that too. Including No and Fin. You have a period. That happens seeing as you’re a girl. It’s natural. It happens to every girl. It isn’t humiliating, embarrassing or anything to hide.”

“It is,” she said in her soft voice.

I shook my head and smiled again. “It isn’t and when I say that it absolutely isn’t. What it is is beautiful. What it is means your body is changing because you’re maturing. What it is means you can make babies. What it is means you’re a woman now. And there is absolutely nothing embarrassing about that. And, as for you, the woman you’re becoming is stunning.”

Her face got soft and her hand came up to rub across both her cheeks to take the tears away.

I took in a breath.

Then I continued, “What happened down there, No should be embarrassed about and he is. Not only that, everyone in that room agrees. Fin is seventeen but he isn’t stupid and he knows this happens and he knows it happens to you. I haven’t talked to him about it but my nephew has a lot of common sense so I figure he doesn’t think it’s embarrassing, he doesn’t think it’s gross, he just thinks it’s life.”

Rees tucked her knees to her chest and rounded them with her arms, quiet, still bashful but biting her lip, thinking.

I studied her wondering if I should go for it.

Then I went for it.

“He gets that and what you have to get is that for all intents and purposes, you’re a woman now. Has anyone talked to you about that?”

Her eyes slid away.

“Reesee, honey, this is important. Can you look at me?” I asked and her eyes slid back. “Has anyone talked to you about that?” I repeated.

She bit her lip some more then kind of shook her head.

“Not…I’ve…my…” she started then finished, “No.”

“You’ve gabbed with your girls about it,” I surmised.

She bit her lip again and that meant yes.

“Do they still have sex ed in schools?” I asked and she nodded.

But she added, “It’s kinda lame.”

It was kinda lame back in my day too.

“Right,” I nodded back. “The gig now is, if you have any questions, you’re free to talk to me. I’ve been getting my period for a while now so I’m pretty much an expert.”

Her lips quirked into her cute mini-smile.

“Do you get cramps?” I asked.

She nodded again.

“Do you take anything for them?” I asked.

“My, uh…one of my girls bought me some Midol,” she told me.

“Does that work?” I asked.

She shook her head.

“Ibuprofen works for me,” I told her. “That doesn’t work for you, try Aleve. That doesn’t work, try one ibuprofen, one Aleve. That doesn’t work, switch it up with one or the other and a Midol. What works isn’t the same for everyone and you’ll find what works for you. But also a hot bath is awesome and we’ll get you a heating pad.”

Her head tipped to the side. “A heating pad?”

I grinned. “You put it on your belly and it feels great. Loosens the muscles. Awesome.”

She gave me another mini-smile.

I kept going. “I’ll give you some St. John’s Wort. It’s an herb but in pill form. It helps with moods. You take one in the morning, one at night. It won’t make you yourself but, if it works for you, it’ll make you less irritable or weepy. Yeah?”

She nodded.

Shit. Now the tough stuff.

But without Audrey helping her and only her girls to go to, it had to happen.

So it was going to happen.

“Now the tough stuff,” I said softly and her eyes locked with mine. “Right now I’m going to ask you to make me a promise.”

“What kind of promise?” she whispered, hearing my tone and likely reading my face and definitely wary.

“The kind of promise that, if you and Fin stay tight and things…progress from say, kissing and stuff like that to more, you talk to me before you go whole hog.”

Her face went up in flames again and her eyes drifted away. Her body was tight and I knew she didn’t want to go where I was taking her but she had to.

“Rees, honey, please pay attention to me,” I called gently and her eyes came back but her body was still tight. “If you guys aren’t close to doing that then great and I mean that. No offense, baby, but you’re way too young to be going there.”

She shocked the shit out of me when she shared quickly, “Fin doesn’t take it very far.”

God, I loved my nephew.

“Just, uh…kissing,” she whispered.

“Good,” I whispered back.

“I like it,” she admitted, still whispering and I smiled.

“Kissing is awesome. There’s a lot to like,” I shared.

“Yeah,” she said softly.

“And that’s cool you like it. And that’s normal, you and Fin doing that. It’s great. It’s a way to be close. It’s a way to get to know each other better. But he starts going for more, I know he’ll respect you if you say no. And you have every right to say no and expect him to stop. So, I’m asking you to promise me that you’ll say no and then you’ll come to me before you take the next step. Even if, at the time, it feels good and you really want to.”

She held my eyes and asked, “Will you tell Dad?”

I took a deep breath and answered, “No. But saying that, you have to know I’ll guide you the way he’d want it to go and that is that you go there only when you’re ready, when you’re a lot older and when you’re certain you care deeply for the person you’re with.”

“I care deeply for Fin,” she told me.

“I know you do,” I said gently. “But, honestly, honey, now is not the time for you to be doing those things. Now is the time for you to have fun with your boyfriend, enjoy kissing and making out and let that other stuff happen later. It’s confusing and I can say that it is even now, at my age. So at your age, it’s way too much.”

She studied me for long moments. Then she nodded.

“Is that your promise?” I asked.

She again studied me. Then she again nodded and said softly, “Yes, Dusty. That’s my promise.”

Thank you, God.

“Good,” I whispered.

She looked to the door then to me.

“Really, Fin threw down with No for me?”

It was my turn to nod.

Her lips quirked into that mini-smile again.

“So, you’re good to go downstairs and make hamburgers,” I said quietly.

Her mini-smile went full.

“I gotta get some ibuprofen first,” she told me.

“Right,” I whispered. Then I reached out, curled my fingers around her hand that was wrapped around her calves and I gave her a squeeze. “Love you, Reesee, no joke. I do. I love you, girl, and when you love one of your girls, you’re always there for her. So know this as fact, I’m always here for you, yeah?”

Her eyes got bright but she pressed her lips together and nodded.

I gave her another squeeze and nodded back.

Then I said, “Get your pills. See you downstairs.”

“Okay, Dusty.”

I grinned at her. Then I got up off the bed and walked out of her room.

Right, there it was. That was done. That didn’t go too badly. I thought I did okay.

And I hoped to God she kept her promise.

This was what I was thinking when I walked into the kitchen to see No forming hamburgers. Seeing that, I did something I’d never done with No. I had no idea how he’d react or if it was right. But I did it anyway.

I walked up behind him, leaned around him and kissed his cheek. He jumped and his eyes came to me filled with surprise.

“She’s okay,” I said softly. “You might wanna apologize but she’s all right.”

He looked down at the hamburger meat and muttered, “I’m a dick.”

“You acted like one but you aren’t one. Stuff happens, honey, when we’re angry. Learn from it, make amends, get on with it and don’t do it again. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled to the hamburger meat.

I lifted a hand and wrapped my fingers around his wrist then I gave No a squeeze. I made no further deal of it. I let him go and went in search of my man and my nephew.

Mike was sitting on the couch, one hand curled around a beer, the fingers of the other rubbing Layla’s head that was resting jowls to his thigh. Fin was sitting opposite him on the sectional, no beer, he was leaned forward to the coffee table with a book open and a hand wrapped around a pencil scribbling in a notebook.

Both of their eyes came to me.

“She’s cool,” I muttered.

Fin studied me then looked back to his books. Mike studied me then jerked his head to the couch beside him, nonverbally ordering me to take a load off.

I rounded the couch and took a load off.

Then I took Mike’s beer from him and downed a gulp as I leaned into his side.

Mike wrapped an arm around my shoulders and shouted, “No! When you get your hands cleaned of that meat, bring Dusty a beer, yeah?”

“Yeah Dad!” No shouted back.

“I’ll get it!” Rees shouted from what sounded like the hall.

I grinned at the TV.

Mike quit rubbing Layla, took the beer I confiscated then took a pull.

Then he handed it back to me and went back to rubbing Layla who, throughout his movements, followed them with blinking eyes but she didn’t lift her jaw from his thigh.

I trained my eyes back to the TV and didn’t move them even when I heard Mike mutter, “Thank you, Angel,” with an accompanying arm squeeze.

“No problem,” I muttered back.

“Here’s your beer, Dusty,” Rees said, I turned to her and saw her extending a bottle to me.

“Thanks, Reesee,” I replied, handed Mike’s off to him and took it.

Her eyes went to Fin and they were hesitant but she was determined.

I knew this when she gamely powered through her embarrassment, decided to pretend the whole incident didn’t happen and announced, “Fin, I’ll go grab my books after I help out No.”

Fin grinned at her and muttered, “Whatever, babe.”

She grinned back.

Then she turned on her foot, her thick, shining hair flying and walk-skipped down the hall.

All was well in teenage world.

I looked to Fin to see him gazing down the hall, his lips twitching. Then his eyes went back to the coffee table.

God, I loved my nephew.

Mike’s arm gave me another squeeze.

Layla groaned and settled on her belly on the floor.

I tucked my feet under me, leaned deeper into my man, took a pull off my fresh one and zoned out with my eyes on the TV while I waited for hamburgers.

I jerked awake with a start as I felt Mike’s body leave the curve of mine. With more opportunities, we were experimenting with new sleeping positions and we’d been spooning. Personally, I didn’t care how we slept just as long as we cuddled while doing it. Since every position we’d come up with involved cuddling, it was obvious Mike felt the same.

I often sensed Mike wake in the night and it woke me because his body was always pressed to mine or mine to his in one way or another. And, in addition to the first time he did it, Mike had left me in the night once to do a walkthrough of the house. This had been Sunday night, the first night I slept under his roof when his kids were doing the same. Understandable seeing as he loved us all and our change in circumstances would put him on edge.

But now I sensed something was wrong.

I would know I was right when Mike rolled back into me, grabbed my hand and pressed my fingers around what felt like his phone.

“Call nine-one-one, now,” he whispered in my ear, his quiet voice urgent and I felt my body go tight but Mike was out of bed like a shot.

I rolled, looking at his shadow in the dark and feeling the bed move as Layla shifted up and jumped off.

Then I heard the sounds a gun made on TV or in the movies when someone was fiddling with it.

Oh God.

“Mike?” I whispered.

“Nine-one-one,” he returned quietly. “Now, Dusty.”

I randomly hit a button on his phone and the keypad fortunately lit up. Then with a trembling hand, my thumb moved over it, doing as Mike asked.

“You stay in here, girl.” I heard Mike whisper and my eyes went to the doors to see the shadow of one open and close and I knew Mike left Layla behind.

I put the phone to my ear and heard, “…one, what’s your emergency?”

“This is Dusty Holliday. I’m at three-three-two-one-seven Crescent at The Creekview. My boyfriend told me to call you. He’s Lieutenant Mike Haines of the Brownsburg Police Department. He just left the room with his weapon. He didn’t explain why but I think you should send someone.”

“Repeat your name and address please,” she requested.

“Dusty Holliday. I’m at the home of Lieutenant Mike Haines, three-three-two-one-seven Crescent.”

“Please stay on the line with me, Dusty. I’m sending a unit. Do you hear anything?”

I sat in bed trembling and the only thing I heard was Layla’s dog tags jingling. I could see her shadow pacing to Mike’s side of the bed and back to the door then again and again. She wanted out. She was worried. She wanted me to get off my ass and open the door so she could have her Dad’s back.

Shit!

“No,” I answered the operator. “But I’m not the only one in the house. Mike’s two kids are here.”

“Right. Stay on the line, Dusty. The call has gone to dispatch. They’ll send a unit.”

“Okay.”

“Where are you?”

“In the bedroom.”

“Stay there, okay?”

“Okay,” I whispered, staring at the door, wanting to go to the kids, listening hard, breathing harder.

I must have done this a long time because the operator called, “You with me, Dusty?”

“Yes.”

“I have confirmation a unit is en route.”

“How long?” I asked.

“They’ll be…”

I heard the front door open and movement downstairs. It was faraway, indistinct but there was a thud then murmuring.

Instinctively, I threw back the covers and slid out of bed, my heart hammering, whispering, “Someone’s in the house.”

“Stay where you are, Dusty, a unit is en route.”

“I have two kids in this house!” I snapped, rushing toward the doors, Layla at my heels.

“Dusty, stay where you are.”

“They’re sleeping.”

“Dusty –”

“They don’t know anything’s going on,” I hissed, hearing murmurings coming up from downstairs, the living room, right under Mike’s room. Deep voices, male, low. I pressed my lips together.

“Dusty, stay right where you are. The unit will be there in two minutes.”

Oh God. Oh God. It took less than two minutes to walk up the fucking stairs and get to one of the kids!

Holding the phone to my ear, using my leg to keep Layla back, I opened the door and slid out, closing it quickly behind me and closing Layla in. I hustled down the hall, my mind searching what I knew of the upstairs. Except for some pens and pencils in Mike’s office which I might be able to jab in someone’s neck or something, I had no weapon.

Shit. Fuck. Shit!

I ran down the hall and did the only thing I could do. Positioned myself on the other side of the stairs so if they came up they’d have to get through me to get to the doors of the kids’ rooms.

“Dusty, where are you? Are you there?”

“I’m in the hall,” I whispered but clearly the noises I made were heard.

“Dusty!”

I jumped mostly because this was Mike shouting.

“That’s Mike,” I told the operator.

“Does he sound okay?” she asked me.

“Dusty, get down here!”

Yeah, he sounded okay. Pissed but obviously breathing so I took that to be okay.

“Yeah,” I answered then ran down the stairs.

She said more but I wasn’t paying attention. I was rounding the stairs and running down the hall.

The living room was lit with overhead lights and I skidded to a halt when I hit it to see three teenage boys sitting on the couch glaring up at Mike. Mike was wearing his pajama bottoms and a tee standing over them holding the gun loosely in his hand, pointed to the floor. And I noticed instantly the three boys were the three who jumped Fin weeks ago.

Mike’s eyes slice to me. “You on with Emergency?”

I nodded.

“Disconnect. Use my phonebook, call Colt. Tell him I got his vandals in my living room.”

My eyes went to the kids but Mike kept talking and I looked back at him.

“Do that while goin’ back upstairs. My cuffs are on my belt. There’s another pair in my top drawer at the back. Bring both down. Now.”

I nodded and turned quickly, rushing back down the hall.

“Did you hear that?” I asked the operator.

“Yes. Unit is still en route and should be their imminently. I’ll let you go.”

“Right,” I said, running down the upstairs hall and into our room. I did as Mike asked, going quickly, with effort keeping an agitated now whining Layla back and I got a sleepy-alert Colt as I was rushing back down the hall carrying two sets of handcuffs.

I also saw No out of his room and he was staring at me, sleepy-alert too.

I shook my head, whispered, “Stay up here,” then kept talking to Colt as I ran down the stairs. By the time I made it to the living room, Colt told me he’d be here “in ten” and he’d disconnected.

Mike’s eyes came to me and the doorbell rang.

“Me, cuffs then you get the door,” he ordered.

I rushed to him, handed off the cuffs and ran toward the door telling him, “No’s up.”

I was in the hall when I heard Mike shout, “No, down here!”

I opened the door to see a uniformed police officer there. He opened his mouth to speak but I got there before him.

“Mike’s in the living room. I think he needs you.”

He moved immediately and I got out of his way. No nearly bumped into him as he rounded the stairs, his face pale, his eyes on me. The officer moved directly to the living room, his hand and mouth directed to the radio at his shoulder. I moved to No.

“Your Dad caught some kids, vandals. They’re in the living room. Go to him, he wants you.”

No nodded then took off down the hall.

I was closing the door, not looking what I was doing when I met resistance halfway. I turned my eyes to it and saw another officer standing there.

“Doin’ a perimeter search,” he muttered. “Mike okay?”

I nodded, pulling the door back open. “Living room.”

He moved past me and headed swiftly down the hall.

I followed him.

The next five minutes I focused on calming down and staying out of the way. I had to take time out of doing this when Rees hesitantly joined the proceedings. Then she stood close to me, holding my hand and watched like me, No joining us. The boys were now all sitting on the couch, hands cuffed behind their backs. One of the officers had gone out to his car. I kept my eyes on Mike who still was holding his gun loosely, his eyes glued on the boys and I could tell he was beyond pissed. He was livid.

I was debating the merits of approaching Mike and gently taking his weapon from him because Mike’s couch was awesome, a big sectional, slouchy, comfy and bloodstains would probably fuck that up when the officer who did the perimeter search spoke and he did this to the boys on the couch.

“Saw it outside, shit’s fucked up,” he noted, his voice rumbly. He was pissed too. One of his brethren had been targeted and it was clear he didn’t like that much. Then he asked, “What fucked up shit broke in your heads that makes you think that’s okay?”

None of the boys spoke.

Mike did.

“I know you,” he said quietly, the quiet was a not a good quiet and I watched all three boys look to him. They were no longer looking belligerent. They had the attention of an angry Dad policeman holding a gun and now they were belatedly watchful. “I know you threw down with Fin. I know what you said to my girl. I know one of you tried to touch her.”

Oh God.

My hand in Rees’s got tighter.

“Now you show up at my home, her home, my family’s home and do that shit,” Mike went on. “The bullshit you been pullin’ for months is not okay in any way. That shit outside is seriously not okay.”

I was wondering what was outside at the same time not wanting to know when Mike kept speaking.

“But I’m forced to do you a favor. See, I’m gonna make it my mission to be sure whatever punishment you get is the worst it can be. But still, I’m gonna have a sit down with Finley Holliday and I’m gonna see if I can talk him down from finding each one of you and ripping your good-for-nothin’ heads off.”

Oh fuck.

Rees’s hand got really tight in mine.

The doorbell rang.

“Stay here, both of you,” I whispered to the kids and took off down the hall.

I opened the door to Colt, looked up in his serious eyes and informed him, “Living room.”

He nodded, passed me and moved down the hall. I stepped out into the chill but still weirdly warm Indiana in April night.

How I hadn’t seen it before opening the door, I had no idea.

I saw it then.

There was trash all over the bottom end of the front yard, the sidewalk and into the street. It was trash day the next day and No had rolled our bins out earlier. They were on their side, the bags open and all our garbage was strewn everywhere.

But that wasn’t it. There were opened and unrolled condoms everywhere. Dozens of them. Dozens and dozens.

I stepped out, scanned the area and stopped dead.

My truck and Mike’s SUV were parked in the garage. In the drive was No’s beat up junker. And by the light of the streetlamps I could see spray-painted all over it crude penises and the words, Farmer Fin’s fuck buddy rides in this ride.

I noticed another cruiser heading toward our house but woodenly, my brain feeling funny, heated, swelling, like my skull wouldn’t hold it in, my eyes feeling the same in their sockets, I turned and went back into the house. Then I walked to the door to the garage, opened it, swung in and nabbed my keys off the key holder that was on the wall. I pulled out, shut the door and walked into the living room straight to No who was standing close to his sister.

I handed the keys and told him, “Go upstairs. Get dressed. We’ve got a long night. The minute your Dad or Colt tells you it’s all right, you pull my truck out and your car in. Yeah?”

I saw curiosity mixed with alertness enter his face, he nodded, looked to his Dad who gave him a chin jerk then he took off.

I walked in my short little nightie to where I could face the boys.

“Dusty, you get dressed too,” Mike ordered but I looked down to the boys.

“I know you three, I know exactly who you are, boys like you,” I said to them quietly. “And I know unless you make the decision right now, you will never change. You’re mean, useless, weak, pathetic rodents and unless you get your heads out of your asses, you will never be anything but mean, useless, weak, pathetic rodents. Not one thing good will happen in your life because you won’t deserve it. You’ll blame others but it’ll be you who makes that your reality. Right now, it’s not too late to stop being assholes. In a year, two, you’ll be fixed in that role for a lifetime and trust me, not anyone you know will think of you any differently. You’ll be known every minute you breathe on this earth to every soul who’s unfortunate enough to enter your atmosphere as the assholes you are. Wake up before it’s too late.” I started to move away but stopped and looked back at them. “And, personally, I hope Mike fails in his endeavors and Fin finds each and every one of you and teaches you the lesson you deserve to learn.”

Then without looking at them again, I walked away, my eyes going to Rees and I called, “Come here, honey, let’s go upstairs.”

She looked to me, nodded, we joined at the mouth to the hall and I walked her to the door of her room where I stopped her.

“They’ve trashed the front yard and you aren’t helping with clean up,” I told her. “And when you go into your room, I ask you, please, do not phone Fin. Tomorrow, he can learn of this. Now, you read, you listen to music, you do whatever to settle down and go to sleep, but don’t call Fin and don’t look outside. Please.”

“Is it bad?” she whispered.

“Yes,” I answered honestly.

“I can help,” she told me.

“You can but you aren’t going to,” I told her. “Your brother and I have this.”

“I –”

“Go into your room, Rees, please. We’ll sort this.”

“Is it about me?” she whispered, her voice trembling and I got close and took her hand.

“Honey, the good news is, boys grow outta this stuff. The bad news is, you being so pretty, you have about three years left of it. They have no shot at you. They have no shot at being as cool as Fin. It ticks them off and they’re too young and too stupid to know how to deal. So they feel like making you pay for just being you. Sure, stuff like this happens amongst adults. But by then you’ll have grown old enough and smart enough you’ll be able to handle it. Now, you let your Dad, brother and me handle it. And this is where you’re lucky because my guess is those kids down there have no one who cares about them enough to cushion them from anything. You do. Take advantage of it.”

Her teeth worried her lip and they did this a while. Then she nodded.

Then she said, “Okay, Dusty.”

I nodded back, squeezed her hand and let her go.

No came out of his room dressed and with his tennis shoes on. He gave me a look that told me he took his time to prepare for what he would see before hustling down the stairs.

I turned to Mike’s and my bedroom in order to get dressed.

Mike hit the top of the stairs and saw the light coming from his and Dusty’s bedroom at the end of the hall. The door was slightly ajar and Layla was already nosing through it to get to him.

He greeted her halfway with a rubdown then she trotted at his side as he walked the rest of the way.

He barely had the door pushed open before he heard, “Please, God, tell me you threw the book at them.”

He did not think he would smile so soon after what had happened that night and the fact that he’d spent the last two hours at the Station watching Colt explaining to three sets of angry parents that their children would not be released into their custody. They were being charged and they would see them in juvenile court the next day. Except Brandon Wannamaker who was eighteen. He would face his charges as an adult.

But he smiled and this was not only at her words but that he’d come home at four o’clock in the fucking morning after dealing with that bullshit to see her in his bed looking like she was comfortable there, looking like she belonged there. She was smack in the middle, her back was propped against the headboard, her knees cocked and she appeared to be reading something.

He’d waited a long, fucking time to come home from a shitty night dealing with shitty people to find a good woman in his bed waiting for him to get home and the beauty of that moment was not lost on him.

Not in the slightest.

Mike closed the door behind him, pulled the badge from his belt and tossed it on the dresser, saying, “They all have past run-ins with cops, there’s strong evidence they committed the other reported cases and they were caught in the act by me. The spray paint and another three boxes of condoms were found in their car as well as evidence that ties them to the other acts of vandalism. They’ve been detained and charged. Their asses are sitting in jail for the night and Wannamaker has reached majority. He’ll be facing charges as an adult.” Mike’s hands went to the buttons of his shirt as he explained, “It’s piddly shit, vandalism, destruction of property, but we can nail them on months of that crap. A judge won’t be lenient. Still, it’ll likely be community service. All of them have juvie files but Wannamaker just opened himself a sheet since his eighteenth birthday was a month ago.”

“Community service isn’t the death sentence but I suppose I’ll have to find a way to live with that.”

Still smiling, Mike tugged this shirt down his shoulders, glanced at the floor littered with Dusty’s clothes, thought about it for half a second then thought, fuck it, and dropped it on the floor.

His hands went to his belt and he said softly, “Yard looks good. Thanks for doin’ that.”

She nodded, reaching out to her nightstand to set her book aside and when she settled back, she replied, “No helped, as you know. What you don’t know is that you need to have a chat with him. Those boys hit school, he and his posse are gonna take action. Fin isn’t the only one who’s gonna lose his mind about this. No has already lost his. And I’m not talking about the unfun chore of picking up seventy-two condoms and, by the way, we counted. I’m talking about that shit on his car. And also not that his car is out of commission and why it is but what they wrote about his sister.”

Belt undone, Mike nodded then he sat on the bed and went for his boots already knowing this would happen. His kids might fight but No loved Reesee and he was his father’s son. Shit was going to get ugly.

He dropped a boot muttering, “I’ll have a word.”

Then he finished undressing, tugged on the pajama bottoms he abandoned two hours ago and climbed into bed. Once there, he turned to his woman.

“How’s Rees?” he asked.

“Freaked, upset her brother and I were in the yard at two thirty in the morning cleaning up what I hope she still doesn’t know we were cleaning up. When I checked about half an hour ago, they were both out.”

Mike drew in breath then rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling.

Dusty rolled into him, pressing her soft body down his side and resting her warm hand light on his chest so he tipped his eyes to her.

“They’re asshole kids, Mike,” she said quietly. “It took us less than an hour to clean up. The big thing is No’s car but he can use my truck. I’m rarely in it and I can use Rhonda’s car if I need to. She doesn’t go anywhere.”

“Teenage war,” Mike replied and saw her blink.

“What?”

“Do you think for a second that anything I say or even you say is gonna stop Fin from seeking retribution?”

She scrunched her nose.

That meant no.

“And do you think, even if I succeed in talking my son’s ass down, Fin corrals No, he won’t change his mind and go all in?”

She pressed her lips together.

That also meant no.

“These kids are not good kids,” Mike told her. “I’ve seen a lot, Angel, and there are those you can look in their eyes and see that they might seek redemption. See that they might have somethin’ in them that’ll guide them to seein’ the error of their ways. The two minions do not have that. I’ll always give benefit of the doubt. Maybe someday they’ll sort their shit. But the decent person synapse does not fire for them. Wannamaker is a different story. Met his Dad tonight and he’s an asshole. Such a dick, swear to God, for a second I found myself wantin’ to take that piece of shit kid under my wing so he’d have some experience of a decent adult in his life. What’s broke inside him, his Dad broke. On top of that, he’s skinny, he’s got acne and if he didn’t become a bully, he’d be bullied. He looks in the mirror and for a variety of reasons does not like what he sees. It’ll take an act of God to sort his shit. This does not mean good things. Those kids get off on dicking with people. Fin and No without question, especially if their crews back them, can wipe the floor with those assholes. But that just begins bad blood that’s already simmering. I don’t find a way to nip this shit in the bud right now, we’re in for it. And whether you agree with this or not, normally, I’d let Fin and No deal. I’d advise but they’re both gettin’ older and they gotta learn to make the decisions that’ll lead them into the men they’re gonna be. What I do not like is that Rees is the target of their venom. That makes me jittery.”

“You talk to Fin, I’ll talk to Fin with you and for good measure we’ll have Dad there. And I don’t know if you’ll agree to this or not but I suggest Rees be there. He looks to her to ease him. He cares about what she thinks. Honestly, of all of us, I think the person who he’d listen to most is her.”

Mike looked back at the ceiling but he did it nodding. It was without a doubt that Finley Holliday had bonded with Mike’s daughter and thought the world of her. But this could swing two ways. She might talk him down or those kids might be persistent and Fin would do what he felt he had to do to protect her.

Dusty was silent for a moment then she asked softly, “How did you nab all three of them at once?”

Mike’s eyes went back to his woman. “Those kids are assholes but they’re not stupid. I didn’t go out the front, came at them from the side. They didn’t expect me and even if they did, they didn’t expect me to come from the side. When they saw me, they saw I was pissed. I trained my weapon on them and told them not to move a fucking muscle. They didn’t. Then I told them to get down to their knees. They did. I searched them for weapons then I told them to march their asses into my house. They did that too.”

Her eyes drifted and she muttered, “I would have run.”

“And you did that shit to my yard, you woulda got shot at.”

Her eyes sliced to his and she asked, “You would have shot them?

“No, I would have shot at them and scared the shit out of them. They might have gotten away but they’d be runnin’ in dirty jeans.”

She grinned at him, her hand sliding up to curl around his neck and her face getting closer as she whispered, “My alpha protective hot guy.”

“Don’t fuck with a man’s yard.”

Her grin got bigger.

“Or his son’s car, no matter it’s a piece of shit.”

Her grin turned into a smile.

“Or his daughter.”

Her smile died, her face got soft and her fingers tensed at his neck.

Mike lifted a hand, curled it around the back of her head, pulling her to him and feeling her soft hair gliding across his skin. He touched her mouth to his then released the pressure and caught her eyes.

“Shuteye now, darlin’. I’m wiped.”

“Me too,” she whispered then pulled away to roll toward her light.

Mike reached toward his and saw Layla was lying on the floor by his bed. No longer bed dog, now she was watchdog.

Shit, he loved his dog.

Instead of reaching to the light, he reached down and patted her rump. She twisted her head around to give him a look of appreciation but settled back, her eyes to the door, when he reached for the light, plunging the room into darkness.

Instantly, Dusty snuggled into him again and Mike shoved a hand under her to wrap his arm around her waist.

“I hope all this gets sorted before Hunter, Jerra and the kids get here for spring break next week. It would suck, vandals, kids fighting, sisters on a rampage, etc. was going down when we should be visiting and having fun,” Dusty remarked.

“I get the sense, it’s not sorted, they’ll deal,” he replied.

“This is true,” she muttered, settling with her head on his shoulder.

“Sleep now, honey.”

“Right.”

“’Night, Angel.”

“’Night, gorgeous.”

Dusty pressed closer and her arm around his gut got tight for a second then released.

Mike stared at the dark ceiling and, as Dusty’s body relaxed and her weight settled into him as she found sleep, in the silent darkness, he could no longer keep it at bay.

Something was coming and it wasn’t good. His gut had been tight with it all day. And that shit tonight wasn’t it.

And being a cop for twenty years, he’d learned to listen to his gut.

Quietly, he whispered, “Shit,” into the dark.

Layla gave a soft woof of agreement.

Right.

There it was.

Even the dog sensed it.

Shit.