Games of the Heart

Chapter Twenty-Two Games of the Heart

Late May…Saturday…

I was walking from the barn to the house to get a drink when the backdoor crashed open and a nanosecond later, Rees flew out, face red, wet and ravaged. Hair flying, she dashed down the steps and headed immediately to the field toward home even though Fin followed her and shouted, “Reesee!”

At this dramatic display, I had stopped and, weirdly, Fin did too. His eyes were glued to her departing back and his body was still as a statue.

I started out of my halt and moved quickly to him.

I was hesitant when I called out my stupid question, “Everything okay?”

It was a stupid question because clearly, everything wasn’t. And seeing as these were teenagers, no matter that they were mature ones, butting my nose in would probably not be welcomed.

But Rees’s face and Fin’s body did not bode good tidings.

Furthermore, something had been going on with them for a few weeks. Rees started whatever was going down acting the same as ever but Fin was different. He got quieter and quieter until he was brooding even worse than after his Dad died. Rees responded to that also getting quieter and quieter, more watchful then, lately, hesitant and unsure of herself like she had been when I first met her. And this was something she had blossomed out of entirely by the time Jerra and Hunter came with their kids for a visit.

And whatever was happening between Fin and Rees was the only thing that was of concern the last month. Everything had settled. Life was good.

No. Life was great.

Now this.

Shit.

Fin’s eyes sliced to me and he growled the obvious answer, “No, everything is not fuckin’ okay.”

Then he shared no further, turned on his boot and stalked into the house, slamming the door behind him.

I followed him much slower, hit the kitchen and saw Rhonda pressed into a corner, her wide eyes on the doorway that led to the hall, her hand at her throat.

Rhonda had pulled it together in Rhonda’s way. She was still Rhonda but at least she wasn’t moping and vacant anymore. She was back to the old Rhonda if a melancholy one.

“Did you hear what happened?” I asked and her eyes came to me.

“He broke up with her.”

My mouth dropped open as I felt my chest compress.

Then I pushed out a weak, “Sorry?”

“He…he…they were in the livin’ room. They had the doors closed but I heard Rees shoutin’. I didn’t hear what Fin said but she kept shoutin’, ‘I can’t believe you’re breakin’ up with me! I can’t believe you, Fin! I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me!’ over and over. I think he tried to get her to calm down because she shouted, ‘Don’t get near me!’ and took off.”

My eyes drifted to the doorway as I whispered, “How could that be? They’re…they’re…”

“Meant to be,” Rhonda finished for me on a whisper and my eyes moved back to her, now doubly shocked she’d gotten herself together enough to cotton onto that obvious, bedrock fact that every one of us knew but no one was talking about.

“Do you know what’s been eating him lately?” I asked.

Something shifted in her face that wasn’t pleasant to witness and she replied quietly, “Fin doesn’t talk to me much, Dusty. Never really did but now…”

She let that hang and I felt for her but I didn’t have time to deal with that.

I moved toward the hall.

“Don’t!” Rhonda cried and I looked to her.

“What?”

“Don’t go to him. Leave him be,” she said.

“Why?” I asked.

“He’s…well, he gets that from his Dad. When Darrin got angry or in his head about somethin’, he needed quiet and he needed time. You need to give my boy quiet and time.”

I studied my sister-in-law, seeing her for the first time in a long, long time with new eyes.

Maybe she didn’t drift, protected every second by Darrin, through life.

Maybe shit penetrated.

She proved this by advising, “Go to Rees. She was in a bad way. Fin won’t want you up there but she needs you.”

Shit penetrated with Rhonda. Definitely.

Good to know.

I nodded and swiftly retraced my steps, went out the door, jogged down the steps and kept jogging as I made my way across the field, through the back gate, up the yard and through the door. I got no greeting from Layla and I’d know why when I got through the house and hit the top of the stairs. There I saw Layla’s body moving agitatedly outside Rees’s closed door, Rees’s sobs could be heard and No was standing in the hallway with the neck of his guitar in his hand, face pale, eyes wide, concern easy to read on his face.

“What’s goin’ on?” he whispered. “She shot in here, slammin’ doors and wailin’ loud. Layla’s freaked.”

One look at his face, I knew No was too.

“Your Dad still at the gym?” I asked.

“Far’s I know since he’s not here,” No answered.

I didn’t know if that was good or bad. What I did know was that Mike had left a while ago so he could be back at any time.

Whatever I was going to do, I needed to do.

“Right, keep Layla away from the door, I’m going in,” I told him.

“What’s goin’ on?” No asked again.

I held his concerned eyes and whispered, “Later, honey, I need to get to your sister.”

No studied me, nodded then bent to grab Layla’s collar.

I knocked twice, called, “Reesee, honey, I’m coming in,” then I went in.

She had her back to her headboard, ass to the bed, a pillow stuffed between her chest and her drawn knees, her arms tight around her calves and her red, wet face was turned away.

“Go away, Dusty,” she said softly, her words hitching audibly as her body did it visibly. “Please just go away.”

God, one look and she was the picture of heartbreak and I knew this because she was so heartbroken, my heart broke just looking at her.

“Honey, what happened?”

“G…g…go away,” she whispered, keeping her head averted, not even trying to brush away the tears streaming down her face.

I sat on the side of the end of her bed, keeping my distance but still close and I encouraged gently, “Honey, talk to me. What happened?”

Her head twisted to me, her face twisted with pain and she hissed, “Fin happened.”

Then she pulled in another broken breath, this one hitched twice and it even sounded painful.

I braced and whispered, “What?”

“He says summer’s comin’,” she spat. “He says he’ll be a senior,” she spat again. “He says he’s gotta worry about that farm and when he’s not, he’s gotta do it up, have fun, last chance he’s gonna get. Next year, it’ll only be him who takes care of the farm, he says. So, he’s gonna do it up and to do it up, he’s gotta be free,” she leaned her whole body toward me, pressing into her feet and finished, “he says.”

Oh God.

“Reesee –” I started on another whisper.

“Millie Chapman,” she bit out and my head jerked at the harshness of her tone and the words.

“What?”

“He’s starting right away, Dusty,” she threw out her hand hopelessly. “He told me. He’s got a date with Millie Chapman,” she leaned in again and concluded, “tomorrow night. The easiest girl in school, everyone knows it because Millie tells them. And he asked her out when he was with me.”

My body went still and my mind went blank.

Rees unfortunately wasn’t done sharing, however.

“I’m fifteen but I know what this is. I knew Fin’s reputation. I’m not an idiot,” she snapped. “Kids talk. Bunches. Especially about guys like Fin. He never took it very far with me and really, honestly, right now, honest to God, I don’t get what he was doin’ with me. I can’t figure it out. Because I know what he wants. Everyone knows what Finley Holliday is out to get when he’s with a girl because he gets it. But not with me. And the only thing I can reckon is that when Dad let us car date, Fin told me they had a talk. He never said much about what they talked about but I’m guessin’ Dad laid it out and Fin knew he’d never get to go there so he did his time with me so I wouldn’t think he was a total dick or…probably, you wouldn’t ‘cause he likes you… and then when he was done doin’ his time, he got rid of me.”

I sat still and staring at her.

“And now I’m never dating again,” she declared dramatically, leaned in and hissed, “ever.”

I stood up just as the door opened and Mike walked in.

“What’s goin’ on?” he asked.

I looked to him but I didn’t see anything.

Not one thing.

Then I stormed out, past Mike, into the hall, past Layla and No, down the stairs, the hall, the living room and out the backdoor.

Then I ran. I did not jog. I fucking ran.

So by the time I hit the backdoor of the farm, I was winded but it did nothing to make me even one iota less pissed.

Rhonda was still in the kitchen and the second I entered it, she asked “Dusty, how’s Rees?”

I ignored her and marched down the hall, up the stairs and straight to Fin’s room.

I pounded the side of my fist on his door once then opened it and walked right in.

Fin was in much the same position as Rees, ass to the bed, back to the headboard, knees cocked but his elbows were to them, his head bent, his hands wrapped around the back of his neck.

But the instant I walked in, his head snapped up and he growled, “No way, no fuckin’ way. Get out.”

“You’re still seventeen, Finley Holliday. I’m still your elder. I’m your aunt and you’re going to fucking listen to me.”

He knifed out of bed, leaned toward me and roared, “Get out!”

“No!” I shouted back. “My nephew is not gonna grow up to be that asshole. No way. Not on my watch. You don’t play with hearts like that, Finley Holliday,” I threw an arm out toward the wall that faced Mike’s development. “You don’t ever play with hearts like that. She’s heartbroken, Fin, un-fucking-done.” I jerked a finger at him. “You did that to her. She’s way too fucking young to be dicked around by a master. You knew you were going to pull this shit with her, you should have never gone there.”

“Get out, Aunt Dusty,” Fin growled, his face stone cold.

I ignored him and kept ranting.

“Asking another girl out while you’ve been seeing one for months and doing it before you got up the courage to break up with Reesee?” I hurled at him. “Spending every second you can with her? When you’re apart, connecting through your cells every other second? Then you just scrape her off. What the hell?”

“Get out!” he thundered.

I crossed my arms on my chest and shot back. “No. For all men in the world, Fin, you explain to me right now how you can be such a dick.”

Fin crossed his arms on his chest too and snapped his mouth shut.

“Answer me, Fin,” I demanded.

“She’ll get over me,” he clipped.

“Yeah? You sure of that? If you are, you have not been paying attention. Because the earth stands still for her when you walk into a room. She’s fifteen but she’s Reesee. She looks at you and she knows straight down into her soul what she sees. And you cannot tell me that you, my brother’s son, didn’t look into her eyes as she was looking in yours and see what everyone saw. You cannot tell me you didn’t see what she was giving to you. So now you’re gonna tell me why you’re perfectly okay with throwing away that kind of beauty.”

“Shut up and get the fuck out,” Fin growled.

“No. You made a decision, you bear the consequences. You played your plays and any play you play affects a variety of people. I care about her. You broke her heart. Which means you broke my heart. And these are your consequences.” I leaned toward him. “So explain it to me.”

“Get the fuck out,” Fin bit off.

“Explain it to me,” I repeated.

“Get the fuck out!” Fin thundered.

“Explain it to me!” I yelled.

“I had to let her go!” Fin roared then I watched in horrified fascination as he turned, stalked to the wall and punched his fist right through.

“Fin –” I whispered, dropping my arms and starting toward him but halting dead when he turned back to me and his face held more pain then Rees’s.

A lot more.

Agony.

Suddenly I was finding it hard to breathe.

“Fin, honey,” I whispered.

“She’s too good for this ‘Burg,” he told me. “That school in Chicago accepted her and she said she wasn’t gonna go because she didn’t want to be that far away from me. What the fuck was I supposed to do, Aunt Dusty? Let her make a fucked up decision about her future for me? She could write bestselling novels or report for some newspaper or, I don’t know, all sorts of shit. All sorts of shit she,” he leaned toward me again, his hands in fists at his side, “cannot do if her ass is rotting on a fucking farm!”

Oh my God.

“Honey –” I started gently but Fin cut me off.

“I talked to her about it. Told her we could still text and I’d drive up to see her but she wasn’t gonna do it and it got me to thinkin’. About her. About how her Mom sold her Mercedes so Reesee can have this, her fuckin’ Mom who never did shit for her finally kicked in. And she did because this is important. This is her future. This is her life. I thought about how Mr. Haines never said dick but everyone knows cops aren’t millionaires and he isn’t even blinking in order to do what he’s gotta do to give Reesee the future that’s all hers if she just takes it. And what am I doin’? Makin’ her feel tied to this fuckin’ place and me. I do not want to be that guy who ties her down. I wanna be like Mr. Haines, even like her fuckin’ mother, and let her be free so she can fly.”

My heart squeezed and then it slid straight up into my throat.

But Fin wasn’t done.

He finished on a tortured whisper. “So I set her free.”

Oh, my beautiful nephew.

“Didn’t Rees tell you that the choice of the school in Indy was her Dad’s decision?” I asked carefully.

“Yeah,” he answered, “but it was hers too. Because of me. And you think for one second if she told Mr. Haines she wanted to go to Chicago he’d say no?”

No. There was no way if Rees pressed to go to Chicago, Mike would say no. He might not like it. He might worry. But he’d give his daughter the best there was for her to have if she wanted it.

Fin knew the answer to his question so I didn’t bother telling him something he already knew.

Instead, as gently as I could, I asked, “Honey, why didn’t you explain it like that? Why did you ask Millie Chapman out?”

“Because she’s Reesee.” He was still whispering, it was still tortured and I swear to God, listening to it made my ears hurt. “I had to cut the string, Aunt Dusty. If I explained it, she wouldn’t accept it. She’d try and convince me stayin’ here was doing what she wanted and she’s Reesee. With her, I gave her that chance, it wouldn’t be hard to convince me.”

God, my beautiful nephew loved Clarisse Haines.

Like, a whole lot.

I knew it but right then I knew it.

I walked to him and even though I saw his body go tight and all the signals were there for me to keep away, I got close, lifted both hands and curled them around the sides of his neck.

Then I said softly, “Has it occurred to you that what you think of as her trying to convince you of something she wants that you don’t think she wants it’s actually something that’s real?”

“You got talent and you got the fuck outta The ‘Burg the minute you could,” he returned.

“If I was with Mike, I would not have taken one step out of this town because I love it. It’s home, my family is here and if I had a guy who was good for me, I would never leave. Women do that stuff and they find happiness, trust me. But I didn’t have a guy who was good for me. And I left because your Aunt Debbie drove me up the wall. I left because I had a fire in my belly. I left because I was young and part idiot. But we aren’t talking about me. Clarisse Haines is not me. She’s Clarisse. She’s yours, you’re hers and, Finley, you know it.”

“I got what I want in this farm, Aunt Dusty,” he said quietly. “Like Dad, I know I’ll be happy here. How can I know she will too?”

“You give it about three years then you ask her.”

“Three years, I won’t be able to let her go,” he whispered.

God, he loved her.

A whole lot.

“Then that’s good because I’m not blowing sunshine when I say that she won’t want you to. You can write bestsellers on a farm, Fin. You can work for a newspaper in a city that’s a freaking twenty minute drive away. You can chase dreams anywhere and be able to catch them. What you can’t do, in a relationship, no matter how much of a man you are, is make a decision for the both of you. Not one like this. Not one this important. Don’t play games of the heart, honey, even if you’re doing it to protect one.”

“Miracles happen on this farm.”

These soft words came as a surprise so I blinked, dropped my hands and turned, shifting to Fin’s side because they came from the doorway.

And they came from Rhonda.

She was standing there, her eyes on her son, her face soft, her hand up and curled around the jamb like it was providing her lifeforce.

“Dreams come true here,” she whispered.

“Ma, what –?” Fin started impatiently.

She cut him off with, “Your Dad made them come true for me here.”

For the second time that day, I felt my chest compress at the same time I felt something strong emanating from Fin but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Rhonda.

“When I was a girl, I daydreamed of my guy. My perfect guy,” she shared softly. “He wouldn’t be like my Dad. He’d be handsome. He’d be tall. He’d be strong. He’d be patient. He’d be sweet. He’d love me just for me. And fallin’ for me, bringin’ me here, givin’ me a beautiful life and beautiful babies, your Dad made that dream come true.”

I felt stinging at the backs of my eyes as I watched her make a visible effort to tear herself from the door, take a step into her son’s room and stand on her own two feet while holding Fin’s eyes.

“There is no other man on this earth for me. There was only one Darrin Holliday. He was mine. Then he was gone. I’m tryin’ to make peace with that. It’s not easy, but I’m tryin’. And one of the beautiful things about your father was that there was no other woman on this earth for him but me. I know that ‘cause the way he treated me. I know that because he told me. And you’re your father’s son.” She smiled a shaky smile. “The same thing was bound to happen to you but it happened for you sooner. And it happened, Finley. You’re not helpin’ make a dream come true by lettin’ Rees be free. You’re killin’ the most important dream she’ll ever have. Learn from your Dad. Give her what you’ve got to give. I promise you, honey, it’ll give her what she needs to make her other dreams fly free. And, what I see when I see her with you, she’ll never regret a day of it. Not for the rest of her life.”

Rhonda fell silent and Fin and I were right there with her.

Finally, Fin broke it and said to his mother quietly, “I fucked up huge and I don’t know how to fix it.”

She tipped her head to the side and said quietly back, “You can start buy callin’ this Millie girl and sayin’ the date’s off. Then you can walk across that field and talk to your girl. Tell her what you told your Aunt Dusty. And I promise you, she might be upset, she might be angry but in the end, everything will be just fine.”

“She was cryin’,” he whispered, his eyes still on his mother. “And Aunt Dusty said her heart’s broke.”

“So fix it,” Rhonda whispered back.

“How do I do that?” Fin asked.

“Honey, you’re my Finley. I don’t know,” she answered. “The only thing I do know is that you’ll find a way.”

God, I forgot how much I loved Rhonda.

Fin held her eyes.

I held my breath.

Then Fin nodded.

I let out my breath.

Rhonda smiled.

Then Fin said gently, “I’m sorry you lost Dad, Ma.”

My eyes started stinging again.

Rhonda licked her lips then pressed them together.

Then she unpressed them to whisper, “I am too.”

I stood there watching a son have a long time coming moment with his mother as they gazed at each other across the bedroom.

Then he took half a step back, his hand going to his back pocket and, looking at no one, he muttered, “I gotta make a call.”

Cue departure, so I moved toward the door. Rhonda was already out of it.

By the time I hit the doorway and turned back to grab the knob, Fin had his phone out. He must have sensed me stopping because his neck twisted and his eyes came to me.

I mouthed, “I love you, Finley.”

Then I closed the door.

Rhonda was hovering in the hall, her eyes caught mine immediately and she whispered, “Did I do all right?”

Was she crazy?

I snatched her in my arms, held her close and whispered in her ear, “Oh, honey. Definitely.”

Her arms moved around me. Mine got tighter around her. Hers got tighter around me. Then I felt her body shaking gently and she shoved her face in my neck. Mine started to do the same and I shoved my face in hers. We held each other for a while and cried silently.

Then I pulled away slightly, releasing her with one hand, wiping at my face with it and I said quietly, “I better get back to the house. Mike just came back when I took off to throw down with Fin. If Fin is gonna get in that door, I’ve got a lot of talking to do.”

She nodded, wiping her face too.

I smiled a small smile at her, gave her a one-armed squeeze then let her go and started walking down the hall.

“Dusty?” she called, I stopped and turned back. “Thank you,” she said softly, hesitated, threw out a fluttering hand and finished, “For everything.”

I took in a breath.

Rhonda was back.

“My pleasure, honey,” I replied softly back. “And thank you.”

Her head tipped to the side as her brows inched together. “For what?”

“For loving my brother the way you do.”

She pressed her lips together.

Before I lost it again, I turned, walked the rest of the way to the stairs, jogged down them and hurried home.

Fin was on the blanket he spread out on the grass by the side of the creek at the watering hole. He was on his back, knees cocked, his torso held up on his forearms that were in the blanket behind him.

Reesee was on her back with knees cocked too, her head resting on his gut.

His Ma was right. It flipped him out to see how pissed Mr. Haines was when he hit the backdoor of Reesee’s house but Aunt Dusty, being Aunt Dusty, smoothed the way and even got Mr. Haines to allow Fin actually to go up to Reesee’s bedroom. And it flipped him out even more, once he got there, to see what he’d done to her. It was written all over her face, what he’d done playing games of the heart.

But his Ma was right. He’d fixed it. He just had to tell her why he did what he did and Reesee forgave him right away.

Now it was warm, it was May, the crop was in, it was growing, things had settled down and when school was out he was looking forward to bringing Rees here in her bathing suit.

“I love you, Finley.”

Fin blinked at the creek but he felt his body go stone-still.

Then he whispered, “What?”

She lifted her head off his gut, got up on her forearm in the blanket and her eyes locked right on his. Right on them. Straight up. No hiding.

And he saw it there. What he’d been seeing for a while. What he’d been seeing almost since the beginning.

Then she gave him the words that went with what he saw in her eyes.

“I love you,” she repeated.

God. Jesus, fuck. God.

That felt good.

He braced his weight against one elbow, lifted his hand, cupped her jaw and whispered back, “I love you too, babe.”

She smiled at him and, God, Jesus, fuck, God her smile felt good too.

Then she moved until her hand was flat and warm on his tee over his chest and she whispered, “Please don’t ever do that to me again.”

Not knowing why he did it, his hand moved to her neck then around to the back and he put gentle pressure there. She felt it and moved to him until her lips were on his. He touched them in a soft brush and released the pressure on her neck so she move back an inch.

“I promise you, Reesee, I’ll never do that to you again,” he whispered back.

“Thank you, Fin.” She was still whispering.

“Thank you for taking me back.” He wasn’t whispering anymore but his voice was weird, low and rumbling.

Her lips quirked in that sweet smile of hers before she remarked, “We were broken up for all of about half an hour. I didn’t have time to build up a grudge.”

“Thank God for that,” Fin muttered.

Her full smile shone through.

Seeing it, his eyes dropped to her mouth.

Then his hand put pressure on her neck.

And when her lips hit his again, the kiss he gave his girl was not a brush.