Hate Me

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16TH

Dare to think.

7am

I get back to school just in time to curl my hair, touch up my makeup, and put on my day outfit for dance. There’s a home basketball game tonight and although we don’t have a pep rally today, the cheerleaders declared it a black out game. Meaning all the students need to wear black to the game. Which is sort of funny, since the cheerleaders don’t have black uniforms, only red or gold ones.

But the dance team, in supposed solidarity, is wearing our black yoga pants with long sleeved T-shirts that say Black Out the Badgers in gold glitter paint. And tonight we’ll be wearing our gold glittery spandex dresses and using our black and gold pompoms instead of the red and gold ones.

The competition between the cheerleaders and the dance team is kind of stupid to me. Next year, if I have any say, we’ll work together more.

I stop in my tracks.

Next year.

Did I really just dare to think that?

That I could spend my senior year here?

I shake my head.

The excitement of last night must have me on some sort of high.

Once I’m ready, I sit down and type a message to my mom’s agent at the Warren Taylor Agency.

-Is there a way you could discreetly get a script for The Day at the Lake remake? I might know someone interested in it.

I’m shocked to get a quick response, especially since it’s 4:30 in the morning on the West coast.

-Any chance that someone might be you? I’d be surprised, honestly, if Vincent Sharpe hadn’t asked you yet.

I reply with:

-You’re up awfully early! And, no, it’s for Luke Sander. Apparently, they are interested in him for the boyfriend role, but he’s worried because he heard the production company is having some financial difficulties. He’s also maybe looking to switch agents and I thought of you.

Yes, that’s sort of a lie. The part about the agent. But I could probably talk Sander into it, if necessary. He’s told me on more than one occasion that he felt like he’d outgrown his current agent.

-I’m in New York this week meeting with Tommy about your mother’s sudden leave of absence. Is she doing okay? I haven’t heard about the company’s finances. What did Sander hear?

-She’s fine. Just needs a break. And he heard that someone is buying out the company’s investors and a hostile takeover is imminent.

-Really? Interesting. I did hear the investors were rumbling about the amount of capital he’s sunk into that movie. If that’s the case, Luke Sander should stay far away from the project.

Shit.

-Can you get me the script anyway?

-Of course, darling.

-Thank you. And give Tommy a hug for me.

-We should have lunch when I’m back in town. Tommy told me last spring that he expected you to follow in your mother’s footsteps. I could get you some roles very easily.

-Thank you. I’ll think about it. Either way, lunch would be great.

Then I text Cooper, realizing I forgot to tell him this part of my plan.

Me: I forgot to tell you part of my plan last night.

Cooper: Forgot? Or purposely didn’t tell me?

Me: Forgot. I’m having something delivered to Vincent’s office today at 4. I thought maybe your friend who met up with his assistant might text her and ask her out for Happy Hour. Like if he got her number.

Cooper: He has her number. What did you send?

Me: A photo I found of him from when he was doing the national search for the next Abby Johnston. I photoshopped the special effect of B’s head being blown off onto his head, put it in a picture frame, and boxed it up with some black rose petals.

Cooper: And purposely didn’t tell me because I would have told you not to?

Me: Really? No, I thought you’d love the idea. And I was going to ask your friend myself last night, but forgot with the excitement. I’d really like to know how he reacts.

Cooper: I think it’s important we know how he reacts. I’ll call him later today.

Me: Be sure to have him wait to text her until after it’s delivered.

Cooper: Will do.

Me: Have you heard anything from them? Like what he did last night?

Cooper: He was furious about his car. Filed a police report. Took a cab home. Stayed there.

Me: Thank goodness. I don’t want anyone else to die because of me.

Maggie comes in our room to get a ponytail holder. Her hands are laden with gifts.

She lays two on my bed and one on Katie’s.

“I feel like I only see you at dance.” I give her a big hug.

“Logan and I have been spending a lot of time alone lately. Making up for lost time, I guess.”

“You mean having sex.”

“Not just that. We haven’t every night.” She rolls her eyes. “Okay, so we have. But we’ve been talking a lot too. About senior year. About our future. College. All that.”

“That’s good. Have you gotten any fun naughty gifts?”

“Yes. I don’t know who my Santa is, but I’m in love with him. I’ve gotten a pink vibrator, a bottle of cookie dough vodka, chocolate body paint, and nipple tassels.”

“Nipple tassels? I heard about Logan’s condom lollipops. Did you actually do it eight times?”

“No. Only three.” She smiles. “I’m not complaining though. Open your presents!” She holds up a Christmas bag.

I pull the tissue paper out, finding a bottle of cotton candy vodka and two pink silky scarves.

“I think the boys are working together to give us what our boyfriends would want us to use,” she laughs. “And get us drunk. We’ll take our vodka to the party tonight!”

“I get the vodka, but pink scarves? How it that naughty? I mean, these aren’t going to keep me very warm.”

Maggie starts laughing hysterically.

“What?” I say.

“I think those are for tying you up.”

“Oh . . . I didn’t even think of that.”

“You will now.”

Katie bounds out of the bathroom, sees the chocolate Santa on her bed, says, “Cool,” and tosses it in her backpack.

Hot not sweet.

7:45am

Aiden meets me at my dorm to walk me to class. He seems much more clear-headed this morning. “So, last night, how did it go?”

“As planned. I’m glad I went.”

“And I’m glad you’re back here safe.”

“Me too. What’d you do last night?”

“Tried to catch up on homework. Passed out at nine. I’m a wimp.”

“It takes a lot of energy to heal, Aiden. You’re not a wimp.”

“I was able to put some weight on it when I showered this morning. I’m hoping not to have to wear the boot for the dance.”

“I suppose it would be hard to dance with it on.”

“Not if we’re slow dancing.”

“True. I hope we get to do a lot of that.”

“Me too,” he says. “And, more importantly, I’ll be able to take it off later. That’s the real reason I begged them not to cast it.”

“It’s sweet you’d even think of that when you were in pain.”

“What was even sweeter was you on top of me the other night.”

Before I walk into my class, I smile at him, give him a kiss on the cheek, and whisper, “There was nothing sweet about it. It was pure hotness.”

“Tonight’s Christmas party is going to be a blast,” Riley tells me. “I’m hoping you ladies bring some of your naughty Santa gifts. Make the night more interesting.”

“Aiden should bring his dice. That would be a fun thing for couples to play.”

“What dice?”

“They say things like lick, suck, and blow on one dice and then you roll the other die for which body part to do it to.”

“Are they naughty?”

“They are pretty clean, but there is a player’s choice, so you could make it that way. So, other than the furry handcuffs, I haven’t heard what you’ve gotten.”

Riley grins. “I have a secret crush on whoever my Santa is. I got the pink furry handcuffs. Still waiting to use them. Let’s see, a spinning beer pong rank. Gonna destroy Aiden tonight. Body parts bingo. Already had some fun with that game. A Tuggie . . .”

“What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s the fuzzy sock that warms your co . . .”

“Never mind! I think I saw that when I was shopping. Have you tried it? Does it keep it warm?”

“Don’t know, but it’s leopard print. And I got a matching leopard baby doll outfit for Ariela to wear. Rawr.”

“You’re funny. What else?”

“Edible body paints.”

“Nice.”

“What about you?”

“Honestly, I’m pretty sure I know who my Santa is.”

He plays dumb. “Really?”

“Riley, I know it’s you.”

“I wouldn’t tell you if it was.”

“I know. It was a good idea. And a lot more exciting than my dorm secret Santa. Although Katie and I have been enjoying all the candy.”

Our teacher comes in with a big tray of homemade cinnamon rolls in the shape of Christmas trees. “Yum. All we’re going to do in class today is eat. Best day ever,” Riley says.

In English class, Dallas is also going on about his naughty Santa.

“This morning I got this little red bong. Can’t wait to use it tonight. This party is going to be epic.”

Katie takes the chocolate Santa out of her backpack. “This is what I got. Can’t wait to get this thing in my mouth.”

She undoes the foil from the top and brings the top of it to her mouth.

“Katie!” I yell, realizing that the Santa is really a large chocolate dick.

Dallas starts laughing. Rolling-on-the-floor, tears-coming-out-of-his-eyes laughing. “Ohmigosh, you just said you couldn’t wait to get it in your mouth.”

Katie looks confused. Then she holds the chocolate out in front of her. “Ahhh!” she screams, which, even though we’re having a Christmas party in this class too, gets the attention of our teacher.

She’s marching back toward us.

“Put it away!” I tell her.

Dallas is still laughing so hard he can’t talk.

“Katie!” our teacher exclaims. “If you have candy, you need to share it with the class.”

At which point Dallas really starts crying. “Share it with the class, Katie.”

I think Dallas’ laughter is contagious because all of a sudden, I can’t stop either. I still keep picturing Katie almost putting it in her mouth. And I can picture her walking around to each desk breaking off a piece of it for each student.

“Is it solid or cream filled?” Dallas screams.

“Mr. McMahon, I don’t know what’s gotten into you,” our teacher says. Then she actually sees what’s in Katie’s hand.

“Suck on it. Let’s find out,” he continues.

“I’m not sucking on it,” Katie says. “Not if I have to share it,” she adds naughtily.

“Alright, you three. You can take your naughty chocolate down to the dean’s office.”

“Do we have to share it with him?” Dallas asks, still dying with laughter.

As we’re escorted out of class and head toward the office, I say to Katie, “You’re gonna have to bite off the tip.”

“Suck it off. Suck it off,” Dallas chants.

“We’ll get in trouble if you don’t bite it off. With the tip gone, it looks like a chocolate Santa.”

She tosses it to me. “No, you bite it.”

“I’m not biting it.” I try to give it to Dallas. “You bite it.”

“Oh, no. Not me,” he says. “No, wait. I have a plan. Wrap it back up.”

I wrap the Santa back up, making it look like it had never been opened.

Dallas takes it from me. “Watch this.”

He walks into the dean’s office and says to the secretary, “Mrs. Potter, do you have all your Christmas shopping done?”

“Almost,” she says. “What are you doing out of class?”

“Mrs. Major sent me down. She handed out chocolate Santas to our class and had an extra one. I offered to bring it down to you.”

“Oh, well, isn’t that sweet?” She gives him a conspiratorial grin and says, “I’ll have to tease the dean with it.”

Katie and I bite our lips to keep from laughing as Dallas says, “I’m sure the dean would love that. Merry Christmas!”

We all walk out of the office, run around the corner, and collapse onto the ground in a fit of giggles.

“Ohmigawd! I can’t believe she said she’d tease the dean with it!”

Dallas says, “She loves chocolate. I bet she has it open in three, two, one . . .”

“Ahhhhhh!!!” we hear her scream as the bell rings.

I’m a big girl.

Drama

When I come offstage after my improvisation exercise, I check my phone.

Damian: Question, since you’re still alive.

Me: Not funny. It was a good plan.

Damian: Troy just told me all the details you wouldn’t tell me. Sounded more like a script for an action film than a plan.

Me: Well, Riley and I scripted it out.

Damian: You told him the truth?!

Me: Part of the truth. He thinks it was my best friend who was stalked. That her dancing in a cage a couple weeks ago was my idea. And he knows about the girl that got killed. I couldn’t hide how upset I was. He knows I went back there to take her spot and that it was kind of dangerous. Honestly, I told Riley a different story in Miami. So I had to lie about lying. The lies are starting to pile up. Getting hard to keep them all straight.

Damian: So the video Riley did of you on the plane.

Me: Yeah?

Damian: Our label hired this guy who is supposed to be a creative genius to do our video. He sucks. Like really, really sucks. Wanted to make it a piece of art as opposed to a music video that goes with the song. The video is supposed to release on New Year’s Eve. Even with my connections, I can’t find anyone who’s willing to shoot it for us over the holidays. So I was wondering if Riley might be interested in trying his hand at it. We want it fun, campy, like something we’d have shot ourselves, just better edited. And, of course, you promised to be in it.

Me: I did. I just didn’t realize it would be so soon. Maybe you should ask Peyton.

Damian: She’s gorgeous, but I don’t think she’d be good in front of a camera. She freaked out when the paparazzi jumped us last weekend.

Me: She’ll have to learn to deal with it. Thank goodness they didn’t get a clear shot of her face though. You could have put both of us in a lot of danger.

Damian: I know. I’m sorry. I’m still not used to being followed around. But back to the video.

Me: If my name wasn’t listed anywhere, in theory, the people who know me as Keatyn Douglas, would know it’s me and wouldn’t be surprised since we’re friends. The people that know Keatyn Monroe, I’d just tell them that I did it. It’s not like anyone is going to talk about me that much, right?

Damian: I think they will talk about you. But I think you’re right. And would it sort of fit into your plan of letting Vincent see you some? Are you planning more trips back home or to the club?

Me: I don’t know yet. But probably. Let me think through it and I’ll let you know.

Damian: So do you think Riley would be interested?

Me: I think Riley would be thrilled.

Damian: We got invited to play during the MTV New Year’s Eve party overlooking Times Square. I have a bunch of tickets that I could sort of repay you both with.

Me: You don’t have to repay us, but the party sounds like fun. I’d love to.

Damian: I heard you’re not coming to St. Croix for Christmas.

Me: I can’t. I sort of lied myself into a corner. I told Aiden I have to be with my family. But I can’t actually be with my family. And I can’t think up a good reason why I wouldn’t go see them, since all I’ve done is complain about how much I miss them. I’m filming with Tommy and your dad next week, so I’ll get to see them. I’ll stay at my loft. Aiden bought me a tree. And you’ll all be back the next week!

Damian: Still, it’s Christmas. I don’t want you to be alone.

Me: I have to be, Damian. I’m a big girl. I’ll be fine. I promise.

Girls dancing.

1:30am

We all meet up outside the chapel and get everyone into Stockton’s for the party. I brought my cotton candy vodka and Maggie brought her cookie dough vodka as well as some chocolate cookies she got from her dorm secret Santa.

When we turn the lights on, we find a Christmas tree decorated with boas, mini airplane bottles of alcohol, and condom packages.

“This is going to be the best Christmas party ever!” Logan declares.

Aiden is standing behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist. “A little different from our Christmas tree, huh?”

“Yeah, a little,” I laugh. “Did you bring the dice game? I think that will be fun to play after we drink a little.”

“You told me you used to get on the bar and dance. You gonna do that tonight?”

I look at the long bar, knowing it wouldn’t take much convincing to get the girls up there with me. “Do you want me to dance for you, Aiden?”

He spins me around. “What do you think?”

“I think you liked it.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“And you won’t get mad at me?”

“Why would I get mad at you?”

“Other guys will be looking at me.”

Aiden puts his hand behind my neck, moving my face close to his. He kisses the tip of my nose and says, “They can look all they want. They just can’t touch.”

“You’re pretty cool,” I tell him. “But maybe you should get up there and dance for me?”

“Hmmm, I would,” he points down. “But I have this bum leg. And I’m trying to get it healed for tomorrow night.”

“Are you going to tell me about tomorrow night?”

“Maybe after a few drinks.”

I go behind the bar and pour a round of shots. “Shot time!” I yell.

Everyone takes a glass and holds their shot in the air.

“Everyone do a toast,” I say. “I’ll go first. Here’s to a very naughty Christmas.”

Dallas says, “Here’s to giving the dean’s secretary a chocolate dick.”

Annie holds her shot up high and says, “Here’s to trying new things.”

Jake wraps his arm around her and kisses her while Riley says, “Here’s to pink furry handcuffs that I can’t wait to use.” He grabs Ariela’s ass and goes, “Grr, baby, grr.”

Ariela raises her shot higher. “And here’s to a leopard print Tuggie I can’t wait to laugh at.”

“And strip off me,” Riley yells.

“I think we need to drink this. Drink!”

Everyone downs the shots. We pour more and continue our toasts.

Logan says, “Here’s to Stockton’s!”

Aiden clinks Logan’s glass and says, “And to girls dancing on the bar!”

The guys look up at the bar and then at us. Aiden grins at me.

Riley says to Aiden very seriously, “Are there dancing girls coming tonight?”

“Keatyn is going to dance on the bar. Maggie, too.”

“I am?” Maggie says.

I grab her and pull her up on the bar with me.

“Music?”

Logan blasts some dance music and Maggie and I start dancing.

After a few songs, Aiden walks up to the bar and holds his hand out to me.

I smile at him and jump off the bar. He leads me back behind the black curtain to the bed. “I told everyone that it’s hard for me to sit with the boot on, so Riley suggested I lie down here.”

“So, you just want to lie down?” I ask, closing the curtain and crawling on top of him.

“No. I’d like to do what we did the other night. Before you moved off.”

“Here?”

“You asked what I wanted to do. That’s what I want. But I don’t want to do that here. And the party is just getting going. We can’t really leave yet.”

“Aiden, tomorrow night after the dance. You want to, right? I mean you don’t have to give away any surprises about what you have planned, but I also need to be mentally prepared. Like if you don’t want to, it’s okay, but I don’t want to think you do and then be disappointed if we don’t. But if you tell me now that you don’t . . .”

Aiden puts his finger up to my lips. “Shush.”

“I’m kind of freaking out about this.”

He moves his finger and shushes me with his lips. When he stops kissing me, he says, “I definitely want to.”

“I do too,” I say, laying my head on his shoulder. “And I can’t wait.”

The party, filled with beer pong, naughty dice, smoking, and a lot of fun, continues until almost dawn. Aiden keeps yawning, so I pull him on the bed with me and go to sleep.