Hidden Away

CHAPTER 41

SARAH sat on the porch of the beach house where it all had begun. She was tired. Numb. Beyond exhausted. Her mind was in chaos. And she missed Garrett with every breath.

For several days, Adam Resnick had questioned her, albeit very politely. He’d made sure her every need was met. She was catered to, waited on, treated like an important guest instead of the sister of the CIA’s most wanted man.

It had hurt to hear the truth about her brother. She knew he’d been involved in some questionable activities, but she’d been shocked to know the extent. It horrified her to know of the things he’d done. The people he’d killed. The lives he was responsible for wrecking. She’d finally covered her ears and demanded that Resnick stop his recitation of Marcus’s many crimes.

She hadn’t been able to help them. She would have, if she had any way to. But Marcus had never given any information to her. He’d kept his dealings completely separate from her. He’d been careful not to ever let that aspect of his life touch her in any way.

She’d even given Resnick the number of her offshore account since Marcus had funded it. Now that she knew precisely how he’d gotten it, she had no desire to ever use it again.

As a result, she was broke with less than a thousand dollars left in her personal account. If Resnick hadn’t offered to set her up any place she wanted to go, she wouldn’t have been able to afford to come back here.

It was here that she wanted to sort out her life and pick up the pieces. Here is where her life had irrevocably changed. Yes, it had changed the moment Allen Cross raped her, but the island was where she’d been given a new lease on life. Garrett had done that for her. And then he’d crushed her in a way Allen Cross hadn’t been able to. That was the height of irony.

For three days she’d done nothing but sit on her deck and stare sightlessly over the water. She had no idea what she’d do next. At some point she’d have to make a decision. She couldn’t spend her life hiding.

It shouldn’t have surprised her to look up and see Garrett walking down the sand toward her cottage. But it did. It took all her willpower not to turn and flee into the cottage and lock the door behind her.

Instead she sat as calmly as she was able and watched him approach.

He wore jeans and a T-shirt. Judging by the irritation of his face and the way he shook his feet at intervals, he’d gotten a buttload of sand in his tennis shoes during the walk from town. Clearly he hadn’t learned anything from his time here.

When he got closer, she saw that he held something in his hand. She forced herself to look away, out over the water as he approached.

He hesitated for a moment and then settled on the step beside her. Just as he’d done weeks before. He piddled with the object in his hand and then extended it until she looked down to see what he held.

A smile quivered on her lips. How could she want to smile when she hurt so damn much on the inside?

“I brought the big guns this time,” he said as he held up the caramel chocolate bar. “No holding out this time.”

He set it on her lap and turned to stare at the water as she’d done.

“I love you, Sarah.”

She sucked in her breath and felt herself come apart all over again. Pain ripped through her heart and left a bloody cut as deep as a wound could go. She went so rigid that she shook. She started to bolt to her feet but his fingers circled her wrist and he tugged until she was forced to remain seated.

“Please,” he begged softly. “Hear me out.”

She couldn’t look at him. Not and maintain her composure. She closed her eyes to keep the tears at bay. She’d shed enough over the last week. Her head still hurt and her sinuses had gone to shit. She wouldn’t cry anymore.

“I know you feel hurt and betrayed.”

“You have no idea how I feel,” she said bitterly.

“I have an idea. If it’s anything close to what I’ve felt since Resnick took you away, I know it’s pretty damn awful.”

She ignored his statement. She fixed her eyes back over the water, determined to get through this even if it killed her.

He sighed. “Let me start from the beginning. I was asked to take this job because Resnick knew I had a personal score to settle with ... your brother. Six years ago, I led a mission to rescue your brother, when he made a deal with the wrong people. In return, he was going to work with the CIA to take down several terrorist networks that he’d supplied arms to.

“We went in and Lattimer double-crossed us. He murdered two of my men and shot me in the leg. Resnick knew I hated him, and so when he got the information that Lattimer had killed Cross and that you had taken off, he asked me to tail you, stay close to you until your brother showed up.”

“You used me,” she said painfully. “And now he’s dead.”

Garrett blew out his breath again. “I know you’re hurt, honey. I’d do anything in the world to change what happened, but I’m not sorry he’s dead. I won’t lie to you just to get you to forgive me. He was a bastard of the first order. However, I’ll always be grateful that he saved your life. Given a choice between his death and yours? I’ll take his hands down.”

Her gaze flickered as a fresh wash of tears flooded her eyes.

“The thing is, the first time I laid eyes on you, things changed for me. I felt this connection between us and I was determined to keep you safe. Somehow you became mine from the first time I met you. After you left the island, I gave Resnick the slip. Told him to hell with the job. I just wanted you safe, and I wanted to remove any threat to you.

“I fell in love with you, Sarah. I fell in love with you but I still had a job to do. Lattimer was responsible for the deaths of many innocent people. I was sworn to take him down. I loved you, but I couldn’t look the other way. Not for you. Not for anyone. I know he was your brother and that in his own way he loved you and protected you. You loved and protected him. I understand that, but I couldn’t let him walk away after everything he’d done.”

Sarah closed her eyes against the tears. Against the pain of his words. She clenched her fingers into tight fists as Garrett’s impassioned words hit the very soul of her.

“I know he wasn’t a good man,” she whispered.

Garrett reached for one of her fists and gently pried her hand open before lacing his fingers through hers. “I know you don’t trust me after what happened, Sarah. I know trust is a big thing to you after what Cross did. I just want the chance to make it right. I want to show you that you can trust me. I love you. I want you with me. And I’ll do whatever it takes to have you in my life. Always.”

She raised her gaze to meet his and saw soul-deep pain reflected in his eyes. He was suffering too. He hurt like she hurt.

“What are you asking, Garrett? What do you see for us? I have to tell you. I’m a mess. I don’t have a job. I have less than a thousand dollars to my name. I’m still coming to grips with the fact that I was raped. I buried it deep and just existed from day to day.”

His eyes softened as he stared back at her. “What I see is a strong, resilient woman who knocks me on my ass every time she looks at me. I see someone who’s been hurt so badly she’s afraid to trust again. I see someone who has such a loving spirit, who strives to see the best in people despite being shown the worst. What do I see for us? I see you with me, making me happy until I draw my last breath. I see us living and laughing together, having children eventually. Enjoying sunsets and growing old together.”

His voice grew hoarse and shaky with emotion. “Honey, I don’t care if you don’t have a penny to your name. I don’t care if you have a job. Those things will come. What I want is for you to be with me so we can work this out together. Together we can do anything. You don’t have to go through this alone. I’ll be with you every step of the way. That’s what love is about.”

She glanced down at their entwined fingers, watched as his thumb caressed the top of her hand.

“I’m scared, Garrett. I feel ... alone. I mean, before I was alone, but I had Marcus, and I always knew that if I really needed someone, he’d be there, no questions asked. This past week I’ve had to come to grips with the fact that I have no one. I have no idea what I want to do. I just feel numb and terrified all at the same time.”

He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly against him.

“I’m terrified too,” he admitted. “I’m scared shitless you won’t forgive me and I’ll have to go back home without you after I promised my mother I was bringing you back with me. She can’t wait to meet you, you know. I’m pretty sure she’s already planning our wedding.”

Sarah smiled against him and shook her head.

He tucked a finger beneath her chin and prodded her upward so he could stare into her eyes. “I love you, Sarah. I think I fell in love with you when I looked into those eyes and saw your determination not to be scared. I know I hurt you, honey. I can only promise I won’t hurt you again. Not like that. But I have to be honest with you. I don’t regret what happened, only that you had to be involved. It’s who I am. I have a very strong sense of justice.”

“Who are you really, Garrett? You didn’t work for my brother obviously. Do you work for the CIA? Will I even ever see you?”

He palmed her cheek and stroked gently over her face. “We do contract work for the government. We also work in the private sector too. I work for myself. Me and my brothers. We do things like hostage and fugitive recovery. As for whether you’ll ever see me? You’re going to be seeing a damn lot of me. So much of me you’re going to want me to take a mission just so I’ll leave you alone. My work is important to me, Sarah. It’s part of who I am. But you’re the most important thing to me.”

He poked his finger at her for emphasis and she felt some of the ice around her heart crack and start to melt.

“You’ll always come first. You and our children. Is there risk involved in my work? Hell, yes, and I know it’s a lot to ask you to take on. But for every mission I take, the goal is going to be the same. Coming home to you. Always.”

She leaned forward, resting her forehead against his chin. “You make it sound so ... easy.”

He tugged her back into his arms and hugged her so tight she could barely breathe. “I love you. I think you love me. What could be simpler? Everything else we’ll work out. Together.”

She raised her head back up and took a deep breath as she drowned in those intense blue eyes. “I do love you, Garrett. Even when I hated you for lying to me, I loved you. I want to be with you. I just feel so overwhelmed. Like I’ll never get my life together. I feel like it’s spiraled out of control.”

He touched her cheek, and she was shocked to see a wash of emotion in his eyes. They glistened with unshed tears and when he spoke, his voice broke.

“Right now, the first step is saying you’ll try,” he said. “Come home with me. Let’s work on our relationship together. You can decide what you want to do there. If you want to talk to someone about the rape, we’ll find you a damn good counselor. If you want to go back to work in your current field, you can do that. Or you can study to become a teacher. We have a great university just thirty minutes away. The thing is, you have choices, Sarah. You have all the choices in the world. All I ask is that you let me be part of them. Let’s tackle the problems together.”

She curled her arms around his neck and hugged him. Not content with any part of her not touching him, she crawled into his lap and burrowed into his chest until they were smashed together like two lovebugs.

“There’s still Stanley,” she sighed.

He tensed and pulled slightly away. He tipped up her chin until their gazes met again. “Stanley won’t ever be a problem for you again.”

She frowned at the conviction in his voice. Then her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What did you do?”

“Let’s just say that me, Rio and my brother Donovan took care of the little asshole. He might have fallen down a flight of stairs. Twice. Or at least that’s the story, and I’m sticking to it.”

She laughed helplessly, appalled that she found such satisfaction in the image but at the same time desperately wishing she could have witnessed it all. Then she squeezed him tight again.

“I love you, Garrett. I do. I want us to be together. You make me not so ... afraid. You make me think that things really will work out.”

“They will, honey. They will. I want to take you home. You’re going to love my family and they’re going to love you. I have some things to work out too. For instance, right now, I live with my two brothers and my oldest brother’s wife. It’s kind of crowded,” he said ruefully. “Sam—that’s my oldest brother—has started construction on a complex for the entire family. It’s impressive, really. We’ll have all the facilities we need. A private airstrip, a helicopter pad, training facilities, a gun range and most important, we’ll all have our own house. That’s where you come in. I have the decorating sense of a mule.”

Sarah smiled and felt her heart lighten with every beat. “I should warn you I have girly tastes. I won’t allow my living room to be decorated in camo. Oh, and Patches.” She glanced anxiously up at him. “She’s back with me. Can we bring her home too?”

He smiled. “Yeah, you and Patches are a package deal. For you I can put up with a cat.”

“And girly? You don’t mind your house being girly?” she asked with a grin.

He pretended disappointment. “I suppose I can live with girly.”

“You need to get used to it for all the daughters you’ll have.”

His eyes lit up with such joy that it took her breath away. “Did I tell you I have a new niece? She’s beautiful. Not as beautiful as our daughters will be, but she’s cute as a button.”

She squeezed him again, unable to contain her excitement. “All week long I’ve thought of the future with such dread. You’ve made me think it will be filled with wonderful things.”

He slid his hand into her hair and gently ran his fingers through the strands. “I’m making you a solemn promise. For as long as we both live, I’m going to spend every day giving you wonderful things. You will never doubt for one moment that you are as loved as a woman will ever be.”

She smiled and wiped at her damp cheeks in irritation. “I love you.”

“And I love you. Think we can go home now?”

She kissed him, warm and sweet, letting her lips melt over his. She breathed a sigh into his mouth and let herself go limp against him. “I can’t wait.”

He tucked her firmly against him, and they sat there on the steps until the sky shimmered in gold and pink and the sun was a fiery half orb on the horizon. It was the first of many more to come. In the years ahead, they often returned to Isle de Bijoux. Though they enjoyed sunsets in a multitude of places, none was ever quite so beautiful as the ones here, where it all began.