His Pretend Wife

CHAPTER SIX

ELINOR had held onto her control through everything, refusing to let herself weep no matter how bad things had become. But now it all caught up with her like a wave that had been growing from a great distance until it crashed over her without mercy, leaving her shaking and helpless in the grip of sobs.

‘No!’ she screamed. ‘Not any more, please. There has to be an end somewhere. No more-no-please-’

‘Is something wrong?’ asked a man’s voice behind her.

‘Go away,’ she cried passionately. ‘Yes, something’s wrong. Everything’s wrong and there’s nobody to help. Go away!’

She heard a step, as though someone had moved closer, and Andrew said, ‘There is someone to help.’

She swung around, tears pouring down her face. She was beyond speech, beyond dismay that he’d found her like this, beyond hope or fear. She could do nothing but lean against the tree in helpless, shuddering despair.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ she said huskily. ‘There’s always one more thing and I’m falling apart. I mustn’t-for Hetta’s sake-but I am, I am, and there’s nowhere to go-oh, God!-’

She wept freely, not even trying to cover her face. Her strength had collapsed all in a moment and there was nothing left.

Andrew took hold of her shoulders gently. ‘Has something happened to Hetta?’ he asked. ‘Do you want me to go to her?’

‘No, she’s fine,’ Elinor choked.

‘If she’s fine, everything’s fine. Ellie, do you hear that? If Hetta is safe and well, nothing else matters. Cling to it. Any other problem can be solved.’

But she could barely hear him. Anguish shook her, wrung her out, drained her. He was so close to her that she could feel his breath, and put up her hands as if to fend him off, shaking her head from side to side.

‘No,’ she gasped, ‘no, it’s no use-don’t you understand? Nothing’s any use because as fast as you cope with one thing-there’s always something else-it’s like-there’s someone up there who’s going to throw one thing after another into my path until I give in-and-and-’

‘OK, OK,’ he said. ‘You’re having hysterics, and it’s no wonder after what you’ve been through, but it’s going to be fine-’

‘What do you know?’ she demanded, not screaming but speaking in a low, hoarse whisper. ‘There’s nothing you or anyone can do about this. They’re going to take her away from me and I can’t stop them.’

All her control had gone and grief poured out of her in ugly hee-hawing sobs. Andrew wasted no more time in talking but put his arms about her and pulled her hard against his chest.

‘All right,’ he murmured. ‘Let it come. You’ve fought it long enough, don’t try any more.’

‘I can’t cope with anything else,’ she sobbed.

‘There’s no need to. You’re not alone.’

‘Yes, I am, I’ve always been alone. Oh, you don’t have to tell me it’s my own fault-’

‘I wasn’t going to-’

‘I know it, and I can survive if it’s just me, but it’s not fair on Hetta, she’s never had any kind of life-’

‘But she’s going to have a great life now,’ he said, trying to be heard through her torrent of words.

‘She should have had a better mother, someone who knew what to do and didn’t go blundering through life making mistakes and getting it all wrong, and, oh, God! Oh, God!’

He gave up trying to get through to her and held her tightly while the storm raged. When he finally felt her calm down a little he put his hands either side of her face.

‘Listen to me,’ he said severely. ‘Whatever it is, something can be done, yes, it can,’ he added quickly as she tried to speak. ‘This is just nerves because you’ve been through so much and it’s all caught up with you in one go. But it’s not like you to give in.’

‘You don’t know what’s like me,’ she whispered.

‘I know you always had a lot of courage.’

‘Not really. Way back then-I was all talk. I didn’t know what life was about.’

‘And you think you know now?’

‘It’s about betrayal,’ she said quietly, ‘and fighting, and things always turning out wrong, and knowing it was your own fault because you’re stupid.’

‘You’re not stupid. Don’t talk about yourself like that. Now tell me what brought this on. Why should Hetta be taken away from you?’

‘Because I’ve nowhere for us to live. The guest house where we’ve been staying burned down today and she’s due out of here tomorrow.’

‘Then we’ll find somewhere else for you to go.’

‘How can I? I’ve no money and Nurse Stewart wants to bring in social services, and they’ll take her away from me-’

‘Of course they won’t,’ he said firmly. ‘They’re not ogres. They know Hetta needs her mother. As for Stewart, what on earth made you confide in that stupid woman?’

‘I couldn’t help it. She found me-I’m not supposed to be here at night-’

‘But you’ve nowhere else. Right. Leave her to me.’

He relaxed his grip, giving her space to draw back and see his face. In the dark it was hard to make out details, but she could see that it was hard and set, and radiated confidence. Even so, ‘You won’t make Nurse Stewart back down,’ she said.

He raised his eyebrows. ‘I’m commonly held to have a little authority around here. Even over her. Come on.’

He took her elbow and led her back through the trees. As they approached the lights of the building he released her and said firmly, ‘Keep quiet and leave everything to me.’

‘All right.’ Her fear had gone. The total confidence and authority of this man was beyond question. He could do anything.

His manner as he entered the ward was impeccably formal, and Nurse Stewart hurried forward, eyeing Elinor suspiciously.

‘A very serious problem has developed,’ she hurried to say. ‘Hetta Landers is suddenly homeless, and I really feel it’s my duty to-’

‘To inform me,’ Andrew interrupted her smoothly. ‘You were quite right, but Mrs Landers has already consulted me, and I have the problem in hand.’

‘I’m sure you agree that it’s a matter for the proper authorities. A vulnerable child must not be-’

‘Must not be parted from her mother,’ Andrew interrupted again, and this time in a manner that made it plain he was taking charge of the conversation. ‘I have a good friend who’s highly placed in the social services. I’ve already contacted him, and there’s no need for you to take any action.’

Nurse Stewart’s mouth tightened, and Elinor guessed that to be told to do nothing was ashes to her.

‘Of course, if you have the matter in hand…’ she said reluctantly. ‘May I know the name of this friend?’

There was a silence, during which Andrew’s face assumed the frozen, stony look that his staff dreaded. Elinor thought she would die if he ever turned that look on her. And then she remembered the night that he had.

‘Are you implying that you do not believe me, Nurse?’ Andrew asked very, very quietly.

Even Nurse Stewart blenched at his tone, but she rallied. ‘Certainly not, but if he should be in touch-’

‘It will be with me, not you. Now, Mrs Landers, if you’ll collect your things, I’m sure your friends will be here for you soon.’

Dazed, Elinor drew her cases quietly from under the bed, managing not to disturb Hetta. Andrew took one from her and strode out of the ward, with her following.

Not a word was uttered while they went along the corridor and into a lift. But when the doors were safely shut and they were on their way down Elinor ventured to say, ‘Suppose she checks up to find out if you told the truth?’

He turned astonished eyes on her. ‘Check up? On me?’

There it was again, that total dominating authority that expected no challenge. It wasn’t even arrogant. It didn’t need to be.

‘But all those things you said-what will she do when nothing happens?’

He regarded her with faint amusement. ‘But something will happen. I’m going to make it happen.’ His mouth assumed a sardonic twist. ‘Don’t you think I can?’

‘Oh, yes,’ she said, meaning it. ‘I think you could do just about anything.’

Two floors down they left the lift and headed along another corridor, and a door.

‘This is my office. You can stay here tonight. There’s a small bathroom through there, so you won’t need to go out for any reason. Stretch out on the sofa, keep the door locked and don’t answer to anyone except me. I’ll be here at five-thirty in the morning. That way, I’ll be ahead of the cleaner, who comes at six. Here’s a small travelling alarm. Set it for five o’clock. Have I forgotten anything?’

‘I can’t imagine you forgetting anything. Thank you so much. I just don’t know how to-’

‘No need,’ he said quickly. ‘Goodnight.’

He vanished fast, leaving her regarding the closed door. Slowly she locked it, feeling dizzy after the events of that evening. But as she settled herself on the sofa and turned out the light she felt a strange calm descend on her. On the surface things were no better. She still had nowhere to take Hetta next day. But Andrew had said he would take care of it. And that made her feel safe.

Now she could relax enough to fall asleep. As her consciousness blurred she felt she were back again in the garden, racked with torment, pouring out her heart to him, feeling the comfort of his arms about her.

That shouldn’t have happened, she thought. It had reminded her of things best forgotten. For years she’d hidden away the memory of what it had felt like to be held by him. Two husbands had come and gone, both of them bad mistakes. She’d survived by not comparing them to the man whose love she’d thrown away because she’d been too young and stupid to appreciate it.

She’d learned its value when it had been too late, and then she’d buried him deep in the dark places of her mind. It had been that or go mad with regret.

Now an ironic accident had forced her to remember. In the darkness it was as though he were there with her again, warming her, murmuring in her ear, just as once he’d whispered words of love and touched her face with his lips.

It was unendurable. She went into the bathroom, stripped off and got under the shower, trying to wash away all the weariness and desperation of her life. But as she stepped out she passed a long mirror, and what she saw gave her a shock. As a professional beautician Elinor knew how to make the best of herself so that her customers would trust her, and with the excellent cosmetics always within her reach she never looked less than well groomed.

But now, gazing back at her was the truth, and she saw, without defences, what the years had done to her. The last time she’d been in his arms her body had been young, rounded, bursting with life. Now she was too thin, her face drawn, her eyes haunted. The glorious mane of blonde hair that he’d loved and through which he’d run his fingers had long gone, hacked off in bitterness some time in her dreadful second marriage. Now it was short and neat, easy to care for, and that was all.

This haunted, desperate woman was what he’d held against him tonight. If he’d thought at all about the beauty he’d once loved it would be with disgust that it had so faded.

It was only then that she remembered that tonight he’d called her Ellie.

Andrew was there on the dot of five-thirty next morning, knocking softly. Elinor was already up, and she let him in. He’d brought her a cup of tea in a paper cup, which she drank down thankfully.

‘Any disturbances?’ he asked.

‘Not one.’

‘Good. Now, here’s what’s going to happen.’

As he spoke he paced the floor, somehow never looking at her.

‘Last night I called a friend of mine, who’s about to rush off on a business trip, and doesn’t want to leave his house empty. The person who was going to look after it for him has let him down at the last moment, and he would be delighted if you’d take over. It’s about ten miles from the hospital, on the edge of the country. And the pay is good, so you wouldn’t have to leave Hetta in order to work.’

‘Pay? You mean he’d actually pay me when he’s giving me accommodation?’ she asked, hardly daring to believe this.

‘There’d be some work. You’d keep the house clean-although most of it is shut up-keep it warm, make sure everyone knew it wasn’t empty.’

‘And I could forward his mail,’ she said quickly.

That made him turn to her, and a strange look passed over his face, as though he was completely taken aback.

‘Yes,’ he said vaguely, ‘although I don’t think there would be much. He has it redirected.’

‘But I could answer the telephone, and tell people where he is,’ she offered, anxious to do more than the light duties prescribed.

‘You could do that,’ he agreed, but in the same strange fashion, as though he was thinking of something else. ‘So I can tell my friend that you agree?’

‘I’d be glad to. But he doesn’t know anything about me.’

‘He’ll accept my recommendation.’

‘Can I call him, to say thank you?’

‘I’ll get him to call you when you’re there.’

‘What’s his name?’

‘I think you should go now. You must need food. Go up to the all night canteen, and I’ll see you later.’

The canteen was serving an early breakfast. Elinor discovered that she was ravenous, and piled her plate with eggs and bacon. At this hour the place was filled with doctors and nurses, weary-eyed after night duty, or just snatching a mouthful before starting their day. Among them she was dismayed to recognise Nurse Stewart.

The older woman’s eyes were like gimlets, and Elinor guessed she was furious at being denied the chance to interfere. She’d had to yield before Andrew’s authority, but she was unforgiving. She headed straight for Elinor’s table and sat down without asking.

‘You’re here early, Mrs Landers. May I ask where you spent the night?’

‘You may not,’ Elinor said angrily. ‘You have no more say about my daughter, since I gather your shift has finished. As soon as possible I’ll be going to the ward to prepare her to come home.’

‘But which home? That is a question I may legitimately ask?’

‘Good morning, ladies,’ came a voice from above their heads, and they both looked up to see Andrew about to sit down with them. ‘Mrs Landers, I’m delighted to find you here. I telephoned Mr Martin, and he’s delighted with his new housekeeper. The place is ready for your immediate occupation, and if you contact my secretary later this morning she’ll give you full details.

‘There’ll also be a chart explaining Hetta’s medication, to prevent her body rejecting her new heart, but I understand you already know a lot about that. The nurses say you always watch carefully when she has her pills. Well done. The district nurse is being informed about your arrival, and will call every day. But I don’t expect any problems. Nurse Stewart, how nice to see you again. I hope you’re eating well. You need to keep your strength up after a night shift. I always say night work is the most exhausting, because your blood sugar’s low. Have you found that, or do you manage to…’

He talked on, barely stopping for breath, giving the nurse no time to raise problems. Watching him with admiration, Elinor realised that this was a consummate performance, done for a purpose. Her instincts told her that this apparently outgoing man wasn’t the Andrew she knew, either years ago or now. He was forcing himself, and although his manner was light his intent was deadly serious.

But there was a stubborn look in Nurse Stewart’s eyes that said she wouldn’t be beaten. However long Andrew stayed, she could stay longer, to poke and probe at Elinor’s defences, in order, ultimately, to impose her own ‘right’ solution. And when Andrew’s pager went it seemed that the nurse had won.

‘Apparently I’m wanted,’ Andrew said. ‘Mrs Landers, may I trouble you to come with me? There are some final matters to discuss. Good morning, Nurse Stewart. It was a pleasure talking to you.’

His hand was under her elbow, guiding her into the corridor, and then he was breathing out like a schoolboy who’d successfully brought off a prank.

‘Thank heavens you came!’ she said.

‘I only thought of the danger when you’d gone. Did I get there in time to avoid disaster?’

‘By a whisker.’

‘You’d best get out of here to a place where she can’t follow.’

‘Is there such a place?’

‘Here’s the keys to my car. This is the registration number.’ He scribbled it for her. ‘Get in the back, pull the rug over you and finish your night’s sleep. See my secretary in four hours, and give her the keys.’

‘Is that safe?’ Elinor asked.

‘Completely. She’s the most discreet woman in the world.’

His car was brand-new and the very last word in luxury and success. There was room to lie down in comfort in the back seat, and pull the mohair rug over her head so that the outside world couldn’t see her. Like this she felt warm and protected.

Protected.

Andrew’s doing.

On the dot of ten Elinor presented herself to Andrew’s secretary, who received the keys without comment and gave her a letter from him that she’d just finished typing.

It began ‘Dear Mrs Landers’ and informed her, politely and formally, that all arrangements were in place and a cab had been arranged to take her to the house. Mr Martin understood about Hetta and she would arrive to find the place already warm. Her salary would be paid directly into her bank, if she would kindly give the details to his secretary. A set of keys was enclosed, he wished her well, etc. etc.

Going to the ward, she found the day staff there, under the charge of Nurse Edwards, a cheerful figure whom Hetta liked.

‘All ready to go?’ she said, smiling. ‘I gather you’re going to be a housekeeper at a nice place on the edge of town.’

‘Aren’t we going back to Daisy’s?’ Hetta asked.

‘No, darling. They had a fire yesterday.’

‘Mr Jenson,’ Hetta said at once, in her wise old lady voice. ‘Smoking in bed again. Poor Daisy. What will she do?’

‘She’s got a room nearby, and the insurance will take care of the rebuilding,’ Elinor explained. ‘And we’re going to look after this man’s house for him.’

‘Why don’t you let the nurse finish dressing Hetta while I give you her medication?’ Nurse Edwards suggested.

It was like a dream to be getting ready to leave. Only a short time ago her skies had been dark. Now she had hope again, and it was thanks to one person.

‘I think I’d better find Andrew and say thank you,’ Elinor said.

‘I’ve said my “thank yous”,’ Hetta explained. ‘He came earlier. He said he was sorry he couldn’t see you, but he was operating this morning, and would be busy all day.’

So that was that. He’d taken every chance to ensure he didn’t meet her again before she left. And perhaps, on the whole, it was best.

As promised, the cab was waiting for her, and in a few minutes they were gliding away from the hospital. Then the suburbs began to fall away and they were in the country. The houses grew further apart, more luxurious, and she realised that she was in a moneyed district, where the buildings weren’t houses at all, but ‘residences’, with drives, and wrought-iron gates.

At last the car turned into a gate more decorative than the others. She just had time to observe the sign reading ‘Oaks’ before they began the journey up a winding drive, thickly lined with trees. Then the trees parted without warning, giving her a sudden view of the mansion.

It was awesome. She’d expected a rich man’s residence, but this had a style and luxury that trumpeted a message to the world. No wonder Mr Martin, whoever he was, didn’t care to leave the place empty.

The cab driver waited while she opened the front door and carried her bags in for her, but waved away her money.

‘Already paid, ma’am,’ he said. ‘Including the tip.’

Then they were alone, looking around and around in awe.

‘Goodness, Mummy!’ Hetta exclaimed. ‘It’s like a film set.’

‘It is, isn’t it?’

‘Is it real?’

‘I don’t think it can be.’

They explored together, first the kitchen, a blue and white masterpiece of luxury and modern equipment.

‘It’s a bit over-the-top for egg and chips,’ was Hetta’s down-to-earth comment. This was her favourite dish.

‘I rather think it was designed for cordon bleu,’ Elinor mused.

‘But you could do egg and chips?’ Hetta asked anxiously.

‘For an army, darling.’

The huge refrigerator was stocked to the roof: eggs, rashers, sausages, vegetables, milk and six different fruit juices. The freezer was likewise packed.

In stunned silence they climbed the broad curved stairway to the realms above, where the corridor branched into two corridors, each covered in thick cream carpet. In one direction every door was locked, but in the other they found two unlocked doors. Opening the first they found a large corner bedroom, with windows on two sides, and a modern four-poster bed, hung with white lace.

‘You could really be a film star in that,’ Hetta breathed.

They found her room opposite, also large, but more down-to-earth. The bed was covered with a duvet depicting wildlife, which delighted Hetta. A study of the bookshelves produced more about wildlife, especially elephants, which pleased her even more. But even as she eagerly scanned the books Elinor saw her eyes begin to droop. She still had a long way to go before complete recovery, and the short journey had taken it out of her.

‘Time for your nap, darling,’ she said.

‘Can I have something to eat first?’

Elinor dropped to one knee to look Hetta in the eyes. ‘Of course you can,’ she said. ‘Of course you can,’ she repeated, gathering the little girl against her in a passion of tenderness.

But Hetta was already nodding off in her arms. Elinor lifted her up.

‘You can have anything you want,’ she whispered, laying her on the bed and propping her up in a half-sitting position, as the hospital had advised until the wound in her chest had finished healing. ‘Anything,’ she repeated, pulling the duvet up to her chin, ‘just as soon as you wake up.’

She slipped briefly downstairs to collect the bags, and unpacked them with her own and Hetta’s doors open, in case the child should awaken and be alarmed at the strange surroundings. But she was deeply asleep. Even when Elinor dropped a heavy bag on the floor with a clatter Hetta did no more than sigh happily.

After watching her for a moment Elinor crept out and went on a tour of the house. As Andrew had explained, most of the doors were locked, which was a relief. Evidently her duties would be confined to their rooms upstairs, the kitchen, and the large living room equipped with satellite television and tuned into every conceivable station.

Hetta slept the afternoon away before awakening with an appetite. Elinor whipped her up an omelette and found some ice cream in the freezer. After that they spent a couple of contented hours exploring children’s channels on the sofa, until Hetta dropped off again in her mother’s arms.

This time, when she’d put her to bed, Elinor looked around the room and saw that here too was a small television with satellite channels. It was a child’s room, as the decor made clear: a boy, she judged, from the cowboys on the wallpaper, and one who was denied nothing.

They had joked about film stars, but it wasn’t a joke at all, really. The lace-hung four-poster was big enough to sleep six, and the private bathroom that led off from it was like a Hollywood fantasy, with a circular bath sunk into the floor, its elegant cream colour adorned by a jigsaw pattern all the way around the edge. All accessories were gold-plated, even-Elinor was amused to note-the toilet-roll holder. The soap dish held a new cake of cream soap, so heavily scented that she had to sit down after one sniff.

Before going to bed she tried the shower, and discovered that the water came out with real force and maintained its temperature. That was true luxury, she thought, drying off with one of the thick cream towels, and thinking of Daisy’s shower attachment, which had to be tied onto the taps and always came off, no matter how tightly you fixed it.

She checked Hetta once more, before snuggling down blissfully in the soft white sheets of the big bed. She’d left both bedroom doors open again, with a light on in the hall between them, so that Hetta could be immediately reassured should she awaken. And in the middle of the night she heard the soft patter of feet and felt someone climb in beside her.

As they drifted off to sleep she wondered if she’d gone to heaven, for that was the only way to explain how her troubles had been swept away and replaced by this perfect peace and serenity. That was the stuff of fairy tales, not real life.