How to Save A Life

Chapter 15

Once past San Diego, they turned onto Interstate 8 and stayed there for almost the next two hours. The flat highway stretched into the distance in front of them. Mile after mile of scrubby yellow desert passed by, the sky huge and wide and blue above.

"We'll stop in Brawley and talk to his mother," Trey said, glancing at his watch. "But I have this gut feeling he's headed to El Paso."

He was nervous about Marli being with him, for more reasons than one. He didn't want her to get involved in anything dangerous, although she already was. But, if they found Barnes, he wanted her nowhere near that psycho.

He was also worried about spending so much time with her in such close proximity. Her sexy body was driving him crazy, making him so horny he could barely see straight. Having her last night had just added fuel to the fire, increasing his hunger for her to the point of obsession. He had to have her again. And again. Sitting beside her in the vehicle was torturing him, testing the limits of his self-control.

It was more than that, though. She was clearly developing feelings for him that went beyond sex. He'd seen the phenomenon before--hero worship that got out of hand. Sure, he'd rescued her, but that was his job. So to speak. She was a strong, independent woman with a mind of her own and she didn't need him. The fact she was looking at him with soft eyes, worrying about his safety, and doing things like standing up for him to the FBI scared the hell out of him. Almost as much as Sheldon Barnes getting hold of her scared him.

He was in no position to have any kind of relationship with any woman, not with the mess his life was in hanging over him and no idea what to do about it. That would be so unfair to her. After the pain and betrayal he'd been through, he was definitely in no hurry to get involved again. Not to mention, his career was hanging by a thread. When he got back to work, if he got back to work after all this, he'd have to bust his ass to redeem himself.

He reached for the radio and played with the buttons until he found music without static. Country music. As soon as his hand returned to the wheel, Marli leaned forward and changed it, slanting him a wry smile. He shook his head, a grin tugging at his lips.

There was also the little issue of the night he'd been so close to getting Barnes and, because of his own drunken, self-pitying screw-up, had let him get away. Let him get away so he could go murder Marli's best friend. Knives twisted painfully in his gut, guilt and self-disgust churning in him.

Trey recalled exactly where Wanda Barnes lived and pulled up in front of the run-down bungalow on the edge of town. He looked at Marli. "You should stay in the car," he said, checking out the neighborhood. "Lock the doors."

Like locked doors would stop a madman with a gun.

She nodded, looking just a tad nervous. "I'll be fine." She lifted her chin.

He nodded back at her and got out of the car.

Sheldon liked driving. He had a nice sense of freedom when he was driving--open roads, no responsibilities, different views and things to see every mile, constantly changing, and all he had to do was sit there and drive. Nice and easy. Yeah.

He had a weird feeling. A feeling of inevitability. Like the end was near. But the end of what? Maybe he was going to die.

It had to end sometime.

He didn't like leaving Rocky Harbor without having gotten Marli, but there'd been too many close calls. His gut tightened, remembering. He'd never been especially careful, always felt invincible, had laughed at the goddamn FBI.

But now he knew he had two sons, he didn't want it to end yet. So he'd taken off. Stolen another car and hit the road.

Like he always did. Like after Cecelia in Montgomery. He fondly recalled meeting Cecelia.

She'd been pretty and petite, with light blonde hair, and he'd treated her well. He knew he could eventually get what he wanted if he got her hooked in with lots of compliments, pretty gifts and flowers. And it worked. They partied together and did the bar scene, and she was falling for him. He could tell. She let him fuck her the second time they met. He made it nice, slow and easy, so as not to scare her.

One night they were at the Ponderosa Bar and Grill with his buddy Dan and his girlfriend. Dan and Kim were apparently both horny that night, all over each other, kissing and groping. Sheldon watched them at first with amusement, then with arousal. He became aware of the boner in his pants and pulled Cecelia in for a big smooch.

"Hey," she said, pulling away from him, batting his hands away, "not here, Sheldon."

"Come on, honey," he coaxed, leaning over and sticking his tongue in her ear. "If they can make out in the bar, so can we."

"Sheldon," she said, "no."

He kept bugging her, tickling her, trying to kiss her. He knew she wanted it, too. She was just playing hard to get. After a while, Dan and Kim headed home. "Let's dance," Sheldon suggested, pulling Cecelia up onto the dance floor.

She went along with it, but when he tried to grab her boobs while they were dancing, she slapped his hands and stormed off the dance floor, leaving him standing there alone, humiliated.

Rage rose in him. He'd been doing so well since he moved to Montgomery. Cecelia had been nice to him, did whatever he wanted, never laughed at him, so things had been going good. But now she'd pissed him off.

The anger bubbled up in him like boiling water in a pot, and he struggled to put a lid on it. Sometimes he didn't really want to put a lid on it. Sometimes he just wanted to let it boil over. Sometimes he just wanted to do something that showed just how angry he was.

"Let's go," he said tersely, back at the table. He grabbed Cecelia's hand and dragged her out of the dark bar.

"Hey, Sheldon," she complained, whining a little, "you're hurting me."

He clenched his jaw, but said little as he got into the driver's seat of Cecelia's white Toyota. He drove them to her place, a small apartment above a convenience store. Cecelia had a roommate, but she was out. Even when she did come in later that night, she wouldn't disturb them. She knew Sheldon stayed over all the time.

"Take your clothes off, bitch," Sheldon ordered Cecelia in her bedroom.

She looked at him warily, but her fingers went to the buttons of her blouse and she started to disrobe.

"You're scaring me, Sheldon." She removed her blouse and then her jeans. He saw it, then--the fear. In her eyes. Making her fingers tremble. And the rush of supremacy shot through him, a burst of adrenaline that made his blood surge.

"Yeah? Well, maybe you should be scared." Maybe he'd just fuck her hard and then he'd feel better. His hands went to the button of his jeans.

She stood there in her bra and panties. "I don't think I want to do this if you're in that kind of mood." She was shaking now and pushed her hair off her face, fright making her eyes dark.

Blood roared in his ears, his heart banged like a drum and his vision narrowed to Cecelia, standing there half-naked, trying to challenge him, even though she was terrified. When he grabbed her and forced her to the floor, twisting her wrists and making her cry out in pain, the exhilaration was incredible. The power and her pain combined to give him a high like he'd never experienced.

The next day, Cecelia's roommate had found her stabbed to death on her bed and her car keys stolen from her purse.

Sheldon smiled at the memories, then glanced at his watch. He was near Brawley. He should go see his folks, but damn, he was still pissed off they hadn't told him about his sons. Never mind that they'd just found out themselves. Never mind that they had no fucking idea where he was, so they couldn't tell him.

He needed to take a leak, so he pulled into a gas station. He needed gas, too, but, hell, his wallet was nearly empty. He eyed the self-serve pumps and checked for security cameras. None. He grinned.

After he used the bathroom and spent his last few bucks on a can of soda and a bag of chips, he filled up his tank, then jumped into the stolen car and pulled away.

He laughed the next five miles down the highway.

That job at the saloon hadn't been bad. He'd made some tips, but too bad they'd actually expected him to work. He popped the top on the soda and gulped some down, the sweet fizz stinging his throat. He didn't mind work. Sometimes. He just wanted to work when he felt like working. His job at that ranch had been the best gig he'd ever had.

He saw a sign for the Chocolate Mountains, which reminded him of the first person he'd ever killed.

He still was kind of surprised at how easy it had been to kill the old man. Ed shouldn't have tried to stop him. He should have just let him take the stuff and go, and then he wouldn't have had to do that. Sheldon shrugged as he drove, remembering. Holding the gun at Ed and seeing the fear in his eyes had given him quite a rush. Quite a rush.

But he knew he couldn't kill him right there, so he'd tied the old guy up, taken his car and driven them up to the old man's cabin in the Chocolate Mountains. Tied him to a chair. He felt like a god when he'd pointed that loaded gun at Ed's head and seen the terror there. He grinned again. He'd felt powerful. He'd never felt a rush of power like that in his life. The only other time he'd ever felt anything close to that was when he'd forced Teresa to do things to him that she didn't want to...when he'd hit her or tied her up to make her cooperate. She'd had that terror in her eyes, too, that used to turn him on and make him feel strong and in control. Just thinking about it sent a thrill through him again.

Too bad Teresa had taken off. They'd gotten married young, but the marriage hadn't lasted long. He didn't know she'd gone to El Paso and gotten married again. Whore.

He finished the cola and tossed the empty can onto the floor of the passenger seat. She'd had his sons, let another man be their father, and never even told him. Teresa should pay for that. Yeah.

Wanda Barnes was home and so was her son Peter, two years older than Sheldon. Peter was a convicted criminal, too, in and out of jail, probably dangerous, but he'd never murdered anyone.

"We ain't seen him," Peter told Trey. He folded his arms across his chest and tipped his chin up.

Wanda's eyes shifted back and forth between them as she twisted her fingers together. She shook her head in agreement. "But he called me again," she told Trey, earning a dirty look from Peter. "A few weeks ago."

"Mama!"

"He said he didn't do nothin' wrong," she told Peter. She turned back to Trey, her faded blonde hair streaked with grey, her thin face looking far older than he knew her to be. "And I believe him. I'm worried about him."

"If you're worried about him, you should tell him to turn himself in," Trey advised her gently. "Otherwise, something really bad could happen to him." He held her gaze as he said it.

"I know. I've seen all the stuff on the news." Her voice trembled. "They'll kill him."

Trey nodded slowly. "You told him about his sons, didn't you?"

She shot him a nervous but defiant glance. "Yeah. He deserved to know he's a father."

"You ever think he might try to see them? That he might be angry at Teresa for not telling him about them all these years?"

She gripped the fingers of one hand with the other. "You think he might hurt them?"

Trey shrugged. "Sheldon has a problem controlling his anger, doesn't he." He said it like a statement, not a question, but she nodded slowly and put a hand to her mouth.

"Someone should tell Teresa."

Trey nodded. "I don't know for sure if that's where he's going, but it's sure possible." He gave her a card. "Will you call me if he shows up here?"

She took the card, but Peter grabbed it away from her and ripped it in half. "You're a cop. You're not trying to help Sheldon. Quit trying to make her think you are."

"Sheldon has killed a lot of people," Trey said, his voice hard. "He's dangerous. He could be dangerous to both of you and he could be dangerous to Teresa and her kids. Whether you believe it or not, I'm looking out for you and anyone else he might get it in his head to kill." He stared at Peter, then turned back to Wanda. "You don't have to call me. Just call the police if you see him or hear from him again."

He turned and went back out to the car, finding Marli sitting in stifling heat, the windows all rolled up, doors locked. Her face, drawn into tight lines, cleared as she saw him.

"So?" she asked the instant he got in.

He started the car and drove slowly away before he told her what had transpired. He was scoping out the neighboring houses, just looking for anything...anything at all.

It was almost seven o'clock. "We can find a place to stay here," he told Marli. "Or keep driving. We can be in Tucson before midnight."

"I don't want to stay here." She shivered. "I'm not getting a good vibe from this place. It's too small, and I feel too conspicuous."

"Fine." Trey had no problem with that whatsoever. "We need gas and food. Once we get away from Brawley, we'll find somewhere to stop, then we'll head for Tucson and spend the night there."