Last Second Chance

Chapter Eleven

Her first day off since starting her new job and Stella Jo found herself working anyway. She suspected this would be hard to avoid since she lived where she worked.

She’d made a trip to the local bath and bed store and bought a few things for her small place and taken a three-mile jog around the property before giving in and checking on the horses. Well, mostly on Shadowdancer. Van had spooked him the night before, and she wanted to make sure she hadn’t completely lost his trust.

The hollow chill she’d tried to shake off the night before still remained. She hoped some time with the big warm bodies and beating hearts in the stables would help.

Surprisingly, Shadowdancer’s dark, oblong head was poking out of his stall as if he was waiting for her.

“Well hello there, handsome. You still mad at me?” She scooped up a handful of sweet feed from the barrel and offered it to him. He took it readily, keeping his eyes on her as he did.

After she’d loved on him and checked on the others, she wiped her dusty hands on her shorts. Shadowdancer’s saddle sat on the ledge between his stall and the empty one that separated him and Mother Maybelle. Running her hand along the rich, worn leather, she let herself remember for just a little while. What it was like to ride, that moment in the final stretch when it felt like they were one, like she and Angel’s Breath were flying. It was the only time she’d felt truly alive.

“What did you mean when you said you’d never felt wanted before?”

His voice startled her and her hand jerked, knocking the saddle onto the floor. Shadowdancer huffed and snorted beside her.

“God. You scared me. You’ve got to stop sneaking up on me—”

“Tell me what you meant, Stella Jo.”

Her blood warmed from the heat in his tone, purging the bone-chilling cold and making her body feel as if flames were consuming it. She swallowed hard as she righted the saddle and turned to face him. Her breath caught when she saw him. The shirt and jeans he was wearing accented his ample muscles perfectly, but that wasn’t what left her breathless.

His eyes were practically glowing, his fists clenched at his sides, and barely contained rage radiated from where he stood.

“What’s wrong?” She took a tentative step in his direction. “What happened?”

Her words were gasoline on his embers. Sparks flew as they both stepped into the charged space between them.

“She left. She fucking left me. That’s what happened.”

Stella Jo had absolutely no idea what or who he was talking about. But his confession seemed to break him. His head fell forward and a sob racked his broad shoulders. His pain bled into her, pulled her closer to him and she gave him everything she had to give.

“Who left you, Van?” Reaching out gently, just as she had done with Shadowdancer, she allowed her fingertips to stroke the short, dark stubble on his jaw. He was rough where she was smooth, and touching him that way, intimately on his face, sent a shiver through her.

His intense gaze met hers, and they were connected in that moment in a way she’d only ever felt with horses. She didn’t see Van Ransom’s face, his tattoos, or the anger he carried. She looked at him with her heart. And she saw his soul.

It was as dark as the short black hair on his head. Bruised and beautiful.

She had no idea how anyone could ever leave him. She couldn’t have pulled away from him in that moment if her life had depended on it.

Instead of answering her question, he gave a gentle shake of his head.

“Stella.” Her name was a breath, a plea, a confession of a deep-seated need she had no idea if she could fulfill. She was instantly seized with terror. She’d failed her family. Failed to be what they needed. What if she failed him? Couldn’t give him what he needed and made everything worse?

“I don’t know how to do this.” She pulled her hand away, but he grabbed her wrist and yanked her roughly to him.

“What do you know how to do, Stella Jo? Hide down here with the livestock? How’s that working for you?”

Her eyes narrowed. He made her angry. Made her feel things she had no idea how to feel or process. But with his pain still so close to the surface, she couldn’t bring herself to push him away. So she did the only thing she could do. She told him the truth.

“Horses can be broken. You can’t.”

“Can’t I?” He released his hold on her wrist, but neither of them moved. “Feels like I can. Feels like you break me a little more every time I come near you.”

She shook her head. “What do you want from me?”

“I don’t know.” Mercifully, he backed up a step and gave her some space to breathe. The reprieve gave her a second to think logically. “But I do know that five minutes ago I was sitting in a room with a stranger spilling my guts and the only person I actually wanted to talk to was you.”

Logic flew right out of Stella’s grasp. He needed her. It was a heady and addicting sensation. This powerful man with the world at his fingertips needed her. And she didn’t know why or how or what it meant, but she needed him right back.

The ground gave way beneath her as she made her way toward him. “The first step in breaking a horse is gaining its trust,” she whispered. “Can you trust, Van? Could you ever trust me?”

Pulling her in his arms, he rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. She took advantage of the moment to admire his long, thick lashes and his raw beauty up close.

“I could try,” he rasped.

“Ahem.” The sound of someone’s throat clearing nearby sent them both backward. “Don’t mind me. I just came by to drop off the feed.”

Every single cell in Stella’s body jolted as if she’d been hit with a live wire while soaking wet. Her face went numb, assaulted by thousands of invisible needles. The fleeting fear that she might be going into shock raced across her mind.

Jesse Ramirez leaned in the entryway. His eyes met Stella’s and he raised a questioning brow but said nothing as he carried feedbags into the storage stall.

“Here. I’ll give you a hand with that,” Van offered, moving away from her.

When they finished, she was standing awkwardly by Shadowdancer.

Jesse thanked Van for the help and turned to face her. “Stella, can I talk to you privately for a moment?”

I am so fired. Fear stole her hold on her center of gravity as she took carefully measured steps toward where his truck was parked. She could feel Van’s steady gaze on her but she didn’t so much as look in his direction. Not that it much mattered now. He’d seen them.

She wasn’t sure if Jesse had the power to fire her, but she knew he would be completely justified in reporting what he’d witnessed to his father, which would almost certainly lead to her termination.

And then… She didn’t even want to think about it. She’d have nothing. Just a cold home to return to with her tail between her legs because she’d screwed up. Her mother had been right. She couldn’t make it on her own.

“What you saw in there… Um, I don’t exactly know what to say about that,” she began.

Jesse’s hazel eyes went wide as he put a hand up between them. “Look, it’s really none of my business. I just wanted to tell you to be careful and make sure that you were okay.”

“I’m fine. And thank you.” She smiled gratefully. “I wish I could say it wasn’t what it looked like, but I don’t know what it looked like. And I don’t exactly know what it was. Maybe it was nothing.”

Jesse gave her a small smile and tipped his cowboy hat. “I’m no expert, darlin’. But I think we both know it was something.”

She nodded, trying her best to ignore her racing pulse. If Jesse hadn’t interrupted them, she had no idea what would’ve happened. But she could guess. And fantasize.

Before her heated imagination ran away with her, she glanced over her shoulder to check that Van was still out of hearing range.

“I know you probably think I’m like all of the other women here, wanting a piece of Mr. Rock Star. But I promise, even though I don’t know what it is exactly… I want you to know it’s not like that.”

Jesse removed his hat and ran his hand along his forehead before replacing it. “Stella, I don’t know you very well. But from what little bit I do know, I already knew that much.” He frowned at her. “Don’t go putting words in my mouth, lady. I’m not one to judge. Believe me.”

Stella Jo eyed him thoughtfully. At first glance, Jesse Ramirez was the perfect specimen. Exactly the kind of man she should be attracted to. But something was…different about him. She heavily suspected that Jesse might be gay. Certain things he did, the gentle way he dealt with the animals for one, in addition to the fact that he wasn’t married, hadn’t mentioned dating anyone, and from what she could tell, hadn’t given anyone other than the horses a second look, made her wonder. His nonjudgmental nature indicated he might’ve been judged unfairly himself a time or two. She hoped not. But it was Texas. Not exactly the ideal mecca of acceptance. He was sweet and kind, and she liked him. Considered him a friend already due to their shared love of animals.

“Jess, I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’d really appreciate if you didn’t say anything to your dad about this. I know fraternizing with the pat—er, clients is against the rules and I love it here. I don’t want to lose my job.”

He frowned at her. “Fraternizing, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

She smacked him lightly on the arm. “Stop.”

He grinned widely and then sighed. “Your secret’s safe with me, Stell. I got plenty of my own to deal with. No interest in giving out other people’s.” For a split second, he looked forlorn. But then his grin slid back into place. “Plus I kind of like working with you. You’re the only one Shadowdancer will let near him and I’m grateful for the help.”

Stella smiled warmly. “I’m grateful to be of help.” She winked and thanked him again for not ratting her out.

Once he’d left, she turned back to where Van stood. Their gazes collided, desire warring with apologetic remorse.

“Think he’ll say anything?” Van asked as she approached.

“Say anything about what?”

“We’re back there again? You gonna pretend the last ten minutes just didn’t happen?” Van’s face contorted into a mask of disgust.

“No,” she said, letting her own anger edge her tone. “I just meant all he saw was a hug. And he’s not going to run and tell his dad I hugged you. Jesse’s a decent guy.”

“Agreed. But that was a hell of a hug, Stella Jo. Can I have another one?”

In spite of her frustration at the entire complicated mess, she grinned. “Do you really need one?”

He followed her back into the barn, keeping close behind her as she straightened up blankets that were already plenty straight enough.

“I don’t know what I need. I have no idea what it will take to fix me,” he said, keeping his voice low and intoxicating. “But I have a feeling you’re a part of it.”

Her mouth went instantly dry as she tried to lick her lips. “What if I can’t be what you need, Van? What if I’m not enough? I mean, I don’t even know what happened and we can’t just—”

“Calm down, cowgirl. You’re doing it again.”

She turned to face him. “Doing what?”

“Getting all worked up.”

She threw both of her hands up, startling Shadowdancer. She cast an apologetic glance in his direction. “Well,” she began, purposely lowering her voice. “I’m scared. I’m nervous and afraid and I have no idea what I’m doing.”

Van leaned toward her, resuming their position from before Jesse Ramirez surprised them. “That makes two of us.”