Lycan Christmas

Chapter Eleven

Lorent didn’t stop by the next afternoon to take Melony to their lesson.

She hadn’t really expected him to, although she couldn’t deny the disappointment. She walked along the path toward the Learning Center admiring the trees and trying to remember the names of the plants Lorent had told her about the day before. But she wasn’t all that good at remembering names, never had been, and by the time she made it to her destination, frustration burned through her.

That frustration was quickly overshadowed by happiness as she walked through the door and saw Lorent waiting for her. He had his back to her, and she admired the width of his shoulders. He was big, and she wanted to reach out to him and run her fingers down that wonderful play of back muscle. When he stiffened, she knew he was aware of her presence. Damn.

Why did he have to do that? Every time she got near him, it was as if he became wary.

“Hi, Lorent.”

“Hey.”

“And what are you going to teach me today?”

He turned around slowly, and her breath hitched in her lungs. His dark hair was tousled as if he’d been standing outside in a breeze, and his features were etched with something . . . feral? She fought hard not to go closer to him even though everything inside her screamed to do just that. She couldn’t explain his allure, but the way he was staring at her, as if his eyes were searing through her physical being and seeing directly into her soul, made her want to leap on him.

She ached to feel his lips against hers, and the dream she’d had of him had only amplified her need for him. She couldn’t help but war with the confusion that still churned in her, the confusion that begged to understand why she should feel so strongly about a man she barely knew. It was scary, it was exhilarating, it was exciting, but it also had the potential to be dangerous for both of them—dangerous to his well-being at Sanctuary and dangerous to her heart.

God, she had so many things she wanted him to teach her, and not one of them had anything to do whatsoever with learning about the lycan race.

Well, maybe that wasn’t true, because she had a feeling what he was played a big part in how he’d make love.

Lorent sniffed the air, clenched his fists, and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. Melony took a couple steps closer to him, and he backed away from her until the back of his knees hit the table behind him. Her eyes widened. Oh my God. Can he read my thoughts? Heat flooded her cheeks, and she knew she was blushing like a schoolgirl who’d just gotten caught smoking in the bathroom.

Part of her wanted to turn and run away in embarrassment, but the bold part of her, the most dominant part, wanted to see just how much he was sensing about her. She smiled at him before nonchalantly plopping into a chair right in front of him.

“Something wrong?” She cocked one brow up in question and watched him intently. If he could somehow read her thoughts, why should she be embarrassed? He shouldn’t be traipsing around in her thoughts anyway.

“Um, no.” Lorent’s words were quiet.

All or nothing. “Can you tell what I’m thinking?” She widened her smile.

“Wh-What do you mean?” He sank down on the tabletop.

“Hmm. I don’t know. Just seems from the expression on your face that you were somehow privy to my thoughts. Did you know what I was thinking just now?” She stood and stepped closer to him.

His breathing grew faster, similar to panting, and she was sure beyond a reasonable doubt that at that very moment, he was as drawn to her as she’d ever been to him. The knowledge excited her, made her want to push him further, even though a part of her chastised herself for teasing the both of them, for possibly leading them to something that might cause them pain.

But oh, wouldn’t the pleasure they could give one another be worth a bit of pain?

She danced her fingers up his chest, and his eyes glowed. “I guess you’re feeling some strong emotions, huh?”

“What?”

“Your eyes are glowing.”

When he went to stand up, she placed her palm flat against his chest and gently shoved him back down on the table. He gasped in surprise, and his eyes glowed brighter. It was a breathtaking view, one that would probably scare the bejesus out of most people. Her? It only made her burn hotter for his mouth, for the predator that looked ready to pounce on her.

“Melony.” He groaned when she leaned closer to him.

“You can tell how I’m feeling, can’t you? Tell me. I need to know.” Her breathing was nearly as erratic as his now.

“Yes! Yes, I can tell you are, um, excited.”

“How?”

“I can smell you.”

Then it hit her in one huge, embarrassing wave. Holy hell. He could smell her excitement? She thought maybe he was picking up on her thoughts somehow, but smelling her was a whole other ball game. She tried to pull away from him, but his hand shot out and wrapped around her wrist, effectively tumbling her against his chest and holding her prisoner at the same time. He was scorching hot. The heat of his skin burned through their clothes and soaked into her. It was a similar feeling to lying out in the hot sun, but not uncomfortable, not a hotness that demanded a spray bottle of water for intermittent cooldowns.

No. His hotness bled out of him and surrounded her, comforted her, made her feel safe, made her body achy and needy for more of his touch.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Melony. I didn’t mean to make you

uncomfortable, but you did ask.” His breath danced across her cheek with each word.

“I just didn’t realize that, that . . .” She chewed her bottom lip and looked down at the floor.

He lifted his other hand, slid two fingers under her chin, and gave a gentle nudge until she looked back up at him.

“Don’t ever be embarrassed with me. Your feelings are honest. They never lie, and there is no need to be ashamed of them.”

“But it is embarrassing when you know how I’m feeling, but I have no idea how you are feeling.”

“You really can’t tell how I’m feeling?” He smiled and leaned a bit closer.

She glimpsed down and realized he had an erection. Yep. I guess that explains a bit about how he’s feeling.

“Um, well, I don’t—”

Before she could finish the sentence, his lips brushed against hers. She closed her eyes and prayed he’d kiss her properly, craved a taste of him, and he didn’t disappoint her. A low growl rumbled from his chest before his mouth slanted over hers and his tongue slid out to dance along her bottom lip.

She looped her arms around his neck and pressed against him, opening her mouth to him and groaning when he slipped his tongue inside. He tasted just as he smelled—wild, woodsy, tempting—and she knew she’d never taste anything as good as him as long as she lived. She blossomed under him as if he was the very essence she needed to live. Nothing she’d ever done had felt as right as this moment, here with this man.

She sank against him, her fingers tangling in the thick hair at his nape, and the whole world and everything in it disappeared but her and Lorent.

They were the only things that existed at that moment, and time stood still while they explored one another, breathed one another, tasted and caressed one another thoroughly as if careful to commit every second forever to memory.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, but what Melony was logically aware was more like a couple minutes, Lorent slowly sat back. She felt the loss of his mouth all the way to her toes, and fought the urge to cry out in denial of the sudden absence of his lips.

She stared into beautiful, glowing pools of hazel. He sighed, and she yearned to lean her cheek against his chest so she could listen to the comforting beat of his heart, but remained where she was.

“I shouldn’t have done that, but I couldn’t resist. I can’t seem to help myself around you.” He scrubbed one of his hands over his face and stood.

Before he could walk away, she placed her hand on his forearm, stilling him. “I wanted you to kiss me, Lorent. I’ve wanted you to ever since the other day when I kissed you. And I’m not apologizing for kissing you.” She nibbled her bottom lip again. “Unless you want me to?”

He lifted his hand and gently ran his fingers down her cheek. “No, I don’t want you to apologize.”

“And I don’t want you to.”

“We shouldn’t be kissing, Melony.”

“Why?” Maybe they shouldn’t, but at this point, she wanted to do way more than kiss him. Slow down, Melony. Slow down.

“It’s difficult for me to do the right thing when I start touching you.” He turned away and went to the window, where he stared outside.

She followed and noticed the sky had darkened and it was spitting rain.

“What is the right thing?”

“Stopping.” He sucked in a breath and turned to face her again. “Because I don’t want to stop once I start touching you.”

“Oh.” Her body ignited, and she understood exactly what he was saying because she felt the same way. “I don’t want you to stop either.” Her cheeks heated, but she refused to take her eyes from his.

She needed to see his face while they had this discussion, needed to witness for herself that he was feeling as reckless as she was, needed to know that he wanted her as badly as she wanted him.

“We can’t.” He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them. “God, we can’t.”

“I think we can, but I’ll be honest. I’ve never been with a man, Lorent, and while I would be honored to be with you, I need to take things slow.

When you touch me, all logic flees my mind, and I want nothing to do with slow, but I don’t want my first time to be rushed. Don’t misunderstand me, because I don’t feel that you would pressure me into anything, but I lose my head with you, and I’m a bit nervous about my first time.”

His eyes glowed brightly then dimmed. “Being a virgin in such a modern world says a lot about your character, Melony. You obviously consider intimacy to be more than a mere slaking of needs. I would never intentionally do anything that caused you any discomfort.”

“Yes, I truly believe that. You’ve been kind with me, and I like you, but I don’t feel like I know you. You’re very guarded. Do you think you could ever trust me enough to open up to me? Even a little?”

He turned back to the window. “I don’t know. I’ve not talked to anyone about me, really. I’m not sure I know how to. I’ve never had a friend, no one to trust. No one has cared to get to know me before.”

“Things are different now. I care, and I know the others here care, or they wouldn’t worry about you. While I won’t pretend to understand why you feel the way you do because I don’t know what has caused your mistrust of others, I realize that you must have experienced things in your past to make you have such misgivings. I can promise you that no matter what you tell me, no matter what you’ve done in your past, I won’t judge you. I will be your friend, and you can trust me. I’m here any time you want to talk.

Whatever you tell me stays with me. Okay?”

He’d never had a friend? She wanted to cry for him, for what he’d missed out on in life. How could anyone he’d been around not want to be friends with him? But his world hadn’t been the same as hers, and she couldn’t pretend to understand it when she didn’t know anything about it.

Lorent wanted to tell Melony everything about his past, wanted to believe that she truly meant it when she said she wouldn’t judge him, but how could she not? Yet he knew the fact remained that he and Melony would never have a future together unless he told her everything, unless she could forgive him for his past. He could never expect her to love him, trust him, when he refused to trust her. How could they have a relationship if she didn’t know who he really was, accept him for who he was?

“Thank you. I hope one day I can take you up on that offer.”

“Me, too. And, Lorent?”

He turned to her once again.

“I know we haven’t known one another for long, but I’ve never wanted to be with a man like I want to be with you. I hope with all my heart you are my first.”

He sucked in a breath as flames shot through his body, straight to his groin, and he swept down to give her a slow kiss before hesitantly pulling back. He framed her face with his hands. God, she was beautiful on any given day, but the desire that burned in her chocolate eyes and the way her lips were slightly swollen from his kisses was enough to make any man weak in the knees.

“Melony?”

“Yeah?” she whispered.

“Just so you know, if I end up being your first”—and he would if he had anything to say about it—“I’ll also be your last. Do you understand?”

Her full lips formed a cute o, and he barely stopped himself from kissing her again. He didn’t because he doubted his ability to stop again. He wanted her more than he’d wanted anything his entire life, and there were limits to his control.

“Yes. I understand as long as you understand the same goes for you.”

She smiled, covered one of his hands with hers, and gave him a gentle squeeze before turning and making her way back to the table and chairs.

“If you don’t mind, I think we can call it a day. I know we didn’t have a lesson, but since this is our last meeting before Thanksgiving—”

“It’s okay. I’ll think of some questions for you over the holiday, and we can get started on the self-defense on Monday. I’m looking forward to that.

It will be fun.” She smiled.

“Can I walk you home?”

“Yes, but if you don’t mind, I need to see if the Internet will let me on for a few minutes to place an order. I forgot to tell you, but it looks like I’m going to be cutting hair here at Sanctuary.”

He scrubbed his fingers through his hair, and she eyed him as she fiddled with the computer.

Thankfully, it seemed to be in a cooperating mood today, and she was done with her order ten minutes later.

“You know, I could cut your hair if you’d like.”

“I’ll think about it. Thanks.” The thought of her running her fingers through his hair was appealing.

A little too appealing.

She stood, and he followed her to the door and outside.

He walked her home thinking about their conversation at the Learning Center. He was amazed that she wanted him, Lorent the reformed rogue, to be her first. He wanted to tell her she’d be his first, and last, as well. The thought of another man touching her made him angry, made him want to throttle something or someone. If he and Melony ever made love—no, when he and Melony made love—there would never be another for him.

He’d never want another woman. Melony was the only one for him, and he prayed that one day he could redeem himself for his past and be good enough for her.