Pinch Me

Chapter Fifteen

Laura tried to relax around Bill. Intellectually, she knew if Rob trusted him, he was okay. She had few memories to rely on.

The fact that meeting him didn’t trigger new memories depressed the hell out of her, although she wanted to hide that fact from the men.

“Well,” Bill said once Rob had said his good-byes and left for work, “can I make you some breakfast?”

She nodded. “Thank you. That’d be nice.” She followed him into the kitchen, Doogie on her heels.

“French toast?”

She thought about Shayla’s omelets. “That’s fine.” She leaned against the counter to watch him as he searched for ingredients in the refrigerator and realized she’d be less than helpful.

She had no idea where anything was.

“Are you married?” she asked, unable to remember if she’d already asked that of anyone else.

He laughed from behind the fridge door. “No, happily divorced over six years now.” He peeked at her from over the top of the door. “You despised her, so you weren’t exactly heartbroken when it happened.”

She felt her face heat. “Sorry.”

“No, no need to be. She was a bitch. I just didn’t see it at the time.” He set eggs, milk, and a bottle of vanilla extract on the counter. “Mom and Dad didn’t like her, either. Although I loved you all like hell for keeping your mouths shut about it at the time. I knew she didn’t make a good impression, but you all still tried to welcome her to the family.”

“Um, okay.”

He found a loaf of bread in the pantry closet. “Don’t worry. Mom and Dad loved Rob.” He paused, a sad look on his face. “They adored him. They’d be happy to know you guys are getting married.”

She stared at the engagement ring, that she’d put on her right hand. She didn’t know why she’d moved it there.

He spotted it and met her gaze again. “Are you two still getting married?”

“I…” Her mouth snapped closed. Rob hadn’t said anything else about it.

And she’d been too busy struggling to corral her free-ranging memories that she really hadn’t thought much about it, either, other than her conversations with Shayla.

Bill didn’t speak. She knew he was waiting for her answer.

She couldn’t bear the weight of his gaze any longer and looked down to where Doogie was curled up in the corner of the kitchen, watching them. “I think so. Eventually.” She shrugged and that hurt her aching ribs. “I guess so.”

“Laur,” he softly said, “if you have any doubts about Rob, don’t.”

“I don’t. I guess. I just…” She closed her eyes and tried to condense her jungle of emotions into a coherent, short sentence. “I have doubts about me,” she admitted.

“What?”

“I don’t know who I am yet. What if he doesn’t like the new me?”

When she finally looked at him again, the sadness in his expression nearly started her crying. “Rob will love you no matter what.” He carefully engulfed her in a hug. After a few seconds, she relaxed into his embrace, familiar comfort, different than she felt with Rob.

“Let him be the one to decide whether he can love you or not,” he told her. “Don’t pull away from him because of all of this.”

“He’s so upset.”

“Not at you. No one’s upset at you.”

“Because of me.”

“No.” He held her at arm’s length. “Because of the fucker that did this. And that guy’s a sick, sadistic bastard. Don’t let him win like this by driving you away from Rob out of fear.”

He pulled her close again. She closed her eyes and let her fractured mind drift. “Strawberries,” she whispered, unsure what it meant.

“What?”

“Strawberries.” This time she said it firmly as a mental picture tried to swim into focus.

“Yes?”

She held her breath as the puzzle piece went from fuzzy to solid and slid into place with a click only she could hear. “You love strawberries and try to get them every time you come home because they grow them up in Plant City.”

She sucked in a breath, her words spinning out of her, faster and faster, Laura unwilling to reel them in until they twirled themselves out for fear of blocking the memory. “I make you strawberry shortcake from scratch whenever you come to visit.”

Now her tears did flow. “I make it from Grandma’s recipe, that Mom used to make.”

He buried his face in her hair. “Yeah?”

“I made it for you when I came out and visited you after Mom and Dad died. We had to use frozen strawberries because we couldn’t find them fresh out there.” Her heart pounded, more memories sliding into place.

“When you came home after I called you about Mom and Dad, Rob drove me to the airport. When you made it into the terminal you hugged me and we both broke down crying right there.”

“Yeah.”

Pain echoed through her heart, feeling as fresh as it had that day. “You told me it was you and me and you’d always be there for me, no matter what,” she sobbed. “No matter what.”

He kissed the top of her head and she heard the tears in his voice. “Yeah, sis. No matter what.”

Like a shattered mosaic pulling itself magically, seamlessly back together, a huge chunk of her childhood and teen years returned. She let out a gasp, her grip on him tightening. “I remember you.” Her cries renewed. “I remember you, so why can’t I remember Rob?”

Bill wasn’t sure he’d be able to get her calmed down at first. He helped her out to the couch where he sat, holding her while she cried herself out in his lap.

After getting her a handful of tissues, he said, “Why don’t we just stay here today, huh?”

She sat up and shook her head, a familiar, determined look on her face. “No. I need to go to the shop. Maybe it’ll trigger something. I’m tired of sitting around waiting for things to happen to me.”

He brushed the hair out of her face. “I don’t want you to stress yourself.”

She took a deep breath. “Like you said, I can’t let the fucker win.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “Well, at least your ability to argue to get your own way is still intact.”

“Is that good?”

He hugged her again, unwilling to let her go after nearly losing her, his only living family other than some distant cousins. “Yes. Very good.”

After he cooked her breakfast, she went to take a shower. When the condo phone rang, he picked it up. “Hello?”

A dial tone met him.

He stared at the phone for a minute, unsure what to do. Then he called Rob.

“Fuck, call Det. Thomas. Hold on.” Bill got a piece of paper to write the info down while Rob dug the card out of his pocket. “Tell him about it. How is she?”

“In the shower. She doesn’t know.”

“I wouldn’t tell her.”

“I don’t plan on it. In fact, I’m going to unplug the damn phone here, so call my cell.” He hung up and relayed the information to the detective, who said he’d handle it. Then Bill reached behind the phone and unplugged the cord from the wall.

He went around and found two other bases and unplugged the phone cords from them, too. After trying her phone number from his cell and not hearing any ringing in the condo, he nodded to himself.

One problem solved. For now.

Laura ended up giving Bill her cell phone and asked him to handle it for her. She kept getting texts from people who, while their names showed up in the contacts, didn’t show up at all in her mind.

Except for Shayla and Rob, of course.

She paid close attention while Steve went through things with her, like showing her how to rebuild a regulator in the repair area in the back of the shop.

“I used to do this?”

Steve looked sad. “Since you were a kid.”

“Oh.” As she worked, more things came back to her until she was able to work on a regulator while Steve watched.

She showed him. “Like that?”

He hooked it to a tank they kept in back for that purpose and took a test breath from it. “Perfect.” He offered her a smile. “Like you’ve never been gone.”

Bill quietly sat on a stool at the other end of the repair counter and watched.

“I feel bad you’re just sitting there,” she said.

Bill shook his head. “Try making me leave, sis. You just keep doing what you need to do. I’m your shadow for the next couple of weeks.”

She thought about Thursday. “I’m supposed to meet with Shayla and some others for a girls’ morning on Thursday.”

He smiled. “I know.” He held up her phone. “She texted to confirm. Brunch and then nails.”

Laura grinned. “Are you getting your nails done, too?”

He held his hand out in front of him, fingers spread, nails up. “I could do with a mani-pedi. They’re in kind of rough shape.”

Laura burst out laughing. This was the big brother she…

She took a hitching gulp of air before the tears hit again. Steve and Bill gathered close.

“What is it, sweetie?” Bill asked.

She let out a laugh that mixed with her tears. “Just more memories of you came through. Good tears, guys.”

“You sure?” Steve asked. “I can’t tell the difference.”

She hugged them before wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “Yeah, good ones.”

Bill and Steve put their collective feet down around five o’clock that afternoon. Even though it wasn’t closing time yet, they could tell Laura was exhausted. Steve helped herd her toward her truck, which Bill had driven them in that morning. Bill had Doogie by the leash and loaded him into the backseat while Steve helped her into the passenger seat.

“Am I being given my marching orders?” she quipped.

Bill nodded. “Absolutely, sis. I’m pulling big brother rank on you.”

“And I’m pulling age rank on you, kiddo,” Steve added. “Go home, get some sleep. Rob said you’ve got gun lessons tomorrow. Don’t bother coming in. Go do that.”

“I feel guilty not being here.”

Bill slid behind the wheel and leaned forward. “You believe her?” he asked Steve. “The first vacation she’s had in a while and she’s fighting it.” He smiled.

He took her home, keeping her distracted with the TV and by going through her photo albums again until he got dinner started in preparation for Rob’s arrival.

When Rob returned, he gave her a kiss but sent Bill a look that told him Rob wanted to talk to him. Alone.

Bill followed him back to the master bedroom. “She okay?” Rob asked.

“Yeah. I unplugged the phones here, though.”

“Good.”

“She…” Bill felt horrible, but knew it was the situation. “She got some memories back about me.”

He watched Rob’s face as the man schooled it into professional neutrality. “Nothing about me?”

“It doesn’t mean anything. Don’t give it weight.”

His shoulders slumped. “I know.”

The three sat and talked after dinner. Laura yawned and looked at the time. “I’m sorry, but I need to go to bed. I’m really tired.”

Bill and Rob both stood when she did. She hugged Rob. Bill watched as she reluctantly let him go. “When do you come back?”

He tucked her hair behind her ears. “Tomorrow morning. But then I need to go in at six tomorrow night to cover for one of the guys who covered for me.”

“Okay.” It looked like she was debating something, then she rose up on her toes and gave him a quick kiss, brushing her lips over his.

She hugged Bill. “Night, sis. See you in the morning.”

When she closed the bedroom door behind her, both men heavily sat and stared at each other, the strain each felt mirrored on the other’s face. Bill spoke first.

“She doesn’t even sound the same,” Bill said. “She talks differently. Did you notice that?”

Rob nodded. “Tell me about it. You want a beer?” Rob headed for the kitchen.

“Got anything stronger?”

“Jack Daniel’s.”

“Bring the bottle.”

Rob reappeared with a glass of iced tea for him, and the bottle of liquor and a glass for Bill. “God, I wish I could have a drink,” Rob said.

Bill held up the bottle. “Want some?”

Rob shook his head before he took a sip of tea. “Nothing stronger than this. I have to get back to work.” He took a long swallow. “And I’m afraid if I start on that, I won’t want to stop.”

Bill started to pour his own drink and stopped at two fingers. “Good point.” He capped the bottle and took a swallow, grimacing. “I don’t know how you’ve managed to hold it together.”

“I have to.” Rob looked at his glass. “She’s my life. If I lose her, everything else is pointless.”

Bill studied him. “Don’t give up on her, okay? I remember how she talked about you last summer. She’s madly in love with you. As upset as she was, she told me the only thing that got her through losing Mom and Dad was you.”

Rob looked away before he took another swallow. “I just wish I could believe that. You’d think she’d at least remember a few things about us if that was the case.” He stared out into space. “She put her engagement ring on her right hand.”

“Stop it.”

Rob looked at him.

“Rob, she loves you. Trust me, she does. I talked to her, what, a week before the attack? She was raving about the fricking wedding invitations. At the time, I could have cared less. She was describing them to me, babbling on. She was so happy and I was just listening to her, letting her talk.”

Bill stared at his drink, feeling guilty. “I wish I’d paid more attention now. I was just letting her go on and on. Man, you are her world. She has no doubts about you.” He took another swig of whiskey and swirled the glass. “I know few things with certainty, but I have no doubt about her love for you.”

Bill was already up and watching TV when Laura awoke a little after five thirty the next morning. She felt comforted by the delicious aroma of coffee filling the condo.

Her night had been filled with nightmares about someone pounding on her door, waking up every time she reached for the knob.

Unfortunately, she hadn’t had Rob’s comforting presence next to her to soothe her.

After using the bathroom, she headed out to the living room. He sat on the couch, browsing on his laptop.

“Are you an early riser?” she asked.

He joined her in the kitchen. “Only because I set my alarm. Rob’s supposed to be home soon. Wanted to make sure he got in okay. He also warned me you’re suddenly an early riser.” He smiled. “Despite a lifetime of hating mornings.”

She stared at her coffee mug. Rob had fixed it for her the morning before, with milk and sugar. As she stared at the empty mug, it occurred to her that she didn’t even remember how she used to take her coffee. Rob had brought her coffee. Shayla had brought her coffee.

They both knew more about her than she knew about herself.

She poured herself a mugful and picked it up, blowing a little across the top.

Bill frowned at her.

“What?” she asked. She took a sip, making a face at the bitter taste as Bill started laughing.

“That.”

She put the mug down and added a generous amount of sugar. He reached into the fridge and handed her the carton of milk. She added enough to take it almost to the top of the mug and gave it a careful stir.

“You’ve taken sugar and milk or creamer in your coffee as long as you’ve been drinking it,” he told her as he put the milk back.

“Apparently, I still do. It was an experiment.” She carefully picked up the mug and took another sip.

Much better.

“Here’s today’s plan. Rob put me in touch with your friend, Sully. He texted me yesterday and said he’d be here by nine this morning.”

Nerves took over, even though rationally she knew they shouldn’t. “We’re meeting him at the shop?”

“No, no need. He’s coming here. We’ll ride with him.”

She tried to quell her rising panic. “But Rob said Steve’s met him before. I don’t want to have to wake Rob up.”

He smiled and pulled out his phone, then showed her something. It was a picture of a man. “Rob sent me his pic.”

She let out a relieved laugh as she looked at it. “He’s thinking of everything.”

He took the phone back. “Well, we’re trying. It’s a group effort. Apparently Sully suggested it.”

She jumped when around six thirty she heard keys in the front door. Bill started toward it when Rob walked in.

Just the sight of him started her heart fluttering. She walked over with the intent of hugging him when she realized a strong, acrid aroma of smoke wafted off him.

He held out a hand to stay her. “Yeah, sorry. Wildfire. We had a couple of guys go down with heat exhaustion. Let me get a shower first, then I’ll get my hug.” He kissed her hand before heading toward the master bedroom.

“Coffee?” she asked after him.

“Yes, please.” He disappeared, then stuck his head back out. “Milk and sugar, please.” He disappeared again.

She nodded and headed toward the kitchen, trying to shrug off another round of tears that prickled her eyes.

She didn’t even remember how Rob took his coffee, but she could remember Bill loved strawberries.

Bill followed her. “Stop thinking that.”

“Thinking what?”

“That.” He caught her hands and made her look at him. “Guilty. Stop it. You’re trying too hard. I think more will come back if you stop trying to force it. Did you call and make an appointment with the psychiatrist yet?”

“No.”

“Go take him his coffee. Then when you come back, I want that business card. I’ll call her today and make the appointment for this week, if she can get you in.”

“Okay.”

Rob was already in the shower. She hesitated, but he’d left the door partially open.

“I have your coffee.”

“Bring it in, sweetheart. It’s okay.”

She took a deep breath and walked in. His smoky clothes lay in a heap on the floor. The shower curtain, light fern green with leaves on it, hid his body from her. He pulled the shower curtain back and stuck his head out.

“Want to take a shower with me?”

She must have reacted badly, because his face fell. “Honey, it’s okay. You don’t have to.”

Standing there, she finally put down the coffee on the counter, next to the sink. Stepping over his clothes she walked to the shower and leaned in.

“Maybe I want to,” she softly said.

That earned her a smile, a smile that melted her soul. A smile she knew she’d do anything to see. A smile that seemed to instantly reverse the pain she’d read in his eyes over whatever expression she’d revealed after his comment.

She kissed him, slowly, sweetly, ignoring the spray from the shower lightly beading in her hair like condensation on a glass of iced tea in the summer heat.

His gaze traveled her face. “I don’t want to push you,” he said. “I know this is hard for you. The fact that you’re willing is enough for now.” He started to say something else, but a yawn took over. “And I hate to say it, but I’m exhausted. I only got about three hours of sleep yesterday total.”

He kissed her again. “And you’re meeting with Sully today.”

“You mean I’m meeting Sully today.”

He managed a tired smile. “I’d go with you, but exhaustion and firearms don’t mix.”

“Bill showed me his picture.”

He kissed her once more. “I trust Sully with your life. He’s a good man. Retired cop.”

She cradled his cheek in her hand, felt the stubble there. When the mental spinning started again, she closed her eyes and waited to see if it would bring results or disappointment.

She stood with him, much like this morning, but in a different bathroom.

“Does it have shells on the curtain?” She didn’t want to open her eyes.

Hell, she didn’t want to breathe for fear of losing it.

“Shells?”

“The shower curtain.” Rob stood there in her mind just as plainly as he stood in front of her now. “And the carpet mat is beige.” In here, there was only a white towel on the floor.

At the noise he made, she opened her eyes. She could tell from the way his eyes looked too bright that he was close to tears. “Yeah. The master bath in the bedroom at the house.”

She threw her arms around him, not caring that she was getting wet. “It’s not a lot,” she finally managed, “but it’s a start.”

He buried his face in her hair. “Yeah, sweetheart. It’s a start. And I’ll take everything I can get.”

Laura hoped she didn’t regret her decision to stick with non-prescription pain killers that morning. She couldn’t imagine drugs and guns were a smart mix. And as long as she didn’t make any fast, sudden movements, her ribs didn’t bother her too much.

Sullivan Nicoletto wasn’t quite as tall as Rob or Bill. Maybe in his late forties, his grey eyes seemed to take everything in. When he knocked, Bill had opened the door for him after looking through the peephole to verify his identity.

Bill shook hands with him and introduced himself after letting him in. Even Doogie seemed to recognize him, happily wagging his tail as Sully stooped to pet him.

Sully, as he’d asked her to call him, gave her a friendly smile she found reassuring. “How are you doing, Laur?”

She nodded. He felt familiar, but no concrete memories yet. “I’m okay.”

“Nothing, huh?”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. I talked to Tony and Shay. They’ve been keeping us all posted so we weren’t bugging poor Rob.”

“He’s asleep. He was on shift yesterday.”

“That’s okay. I don’t want to wake him. Are you ready?”

“Am I dressed okay?” Bill had suggested she wear jeans. She’d also added a baseball cap and a pair of large, dark sunglasses to help conceal her bruises a little.

“You’re fine,” Sully assured her.

They headed east toward Pt. Charlotte, her in the backseat of his Jaguar while Bill rode up front. “I talked with Det. Thomas, who put me in touch with a gun range down here,” Sully told them. “I’ve already talked with them. We’re going to put you through a safety class this morning, as well as the concealed weapons class curriculum, then do range work. When we’re done, we’ll meet Thomas over at his office and get your fingerprints taken.”

“Fingerprints?”

“For the license. Required. And we can stop anywhere to get your picture taken. He’s going to personally handle your application to get your license rushed.”

“Okay.” She had a thought. “How much is all of this going to cost me?” She realized she had no idea how much money she had, much less how to access it. All of this might be beyond her budget.

If she even had a budget. Maybe the hospital bills had wiped her out.

Sully glanced at her in the mirror. “Nothing. I’m picking all of this up for you.”

When she started to protest, he silenced her, catching and holding her gaze in the rearview mirror. “You let me do this for you, and for Rob. Consider it an early wedding present, okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t be down here before this.”

She realized he wasn’t a man to be argued with. “Thank you,” she said.

He smiled. “Besides, Clarisse would kill me if I let you pay.”

The class work was easy enough, lasted about three hours, and before long they were in the gun range. Bill sat at a table just outside the range area, where he could watch through large windows.

Sully had brought three guns, two semi-automatics and a revolver, in a metal carry-case. From a duffel bag he produced two sets of shooting muffs and protective glasses.

With the instructor looking on, Sully showed her how all three guns worked and walked her through loading and unloading them. The weight of the guns in her hands wasn’t familiar to her, but it wasn’t altogether unpleasant, either.

Her aim wasn’t the best, but it wasn’t the worst. After shooting all three guns several times and growing more comfortable with them, Sully and the instructor both pronounced her capable enough to safely handle the guns.

Unfortunately, she also realized she should have taken a pain pill. She hoped the men couldn’t see how much pain she was in.

“I’ll make sure I get with you at least once a week to practice,” Sully told her.

“I don’t have a gun.”

He smiled. “That’s part two of my wedding present to you.”

Sully helped her pick out a 9mm that felt comfortable to her. The instructor, who was also the gun shop’s owner, let her shoot several magazines of rounds through it before Sully put down a credit card. She wouldn’t be able to take it home for three days due to waiting period laws, but they got her fitted with two different holsters and a purse she could conceal it in. Sully also got her set up with a cleaning kit, showed her how to use it, and bought her a set of shooting muffs and glasses, as well as a range bag.

By the time they went for lunch, her application had been completed, her picture taken at a drugstore, and Thomas had personally supervised her fingerprints being taken.

And she wanted to break down and cry from the pain.

As they sat in the booth after the waitress took their order, Laura stared out the window.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Bill asked.

She didn’t look at them. “I’m okay,” she softly said.

He reached into his pocket and pulled something out, setting it in front of her.

The bottle of her painkillers.

When she just stared at it, Sully reached across the table, glanced at the label, and then shook one into his palm.

“Hand.”

Something about his tone of voice brooked no resistance. She held out her hand, palm up, in front of him. He dropped the tablet into her palm while Bill slid her glass of water over to her.

“She’s stubborn,” Bill said as they watched her take the pill.

Sully screwed the cap onto the bottle and returned it to Bill. “I know. She thinks she’s a tough solder.” He stared at her from across the table with a familiar intensity that didn’t make her feel uncomfortable.

That bothered her in a way she couldn’t understand. She looked down at her lap.

“I could tell how bad she was hurting,” Sully said as he watched her. “But having dealt with my fair share of pain and that age-old question of do I or don’t I take the meds now or later, I wasn’t going to call her out on it at the range.”

She looked up at him. “Why are you in pain?”

“Got shot in the line of duty. It’s why I retired. Gut and leg. Most of the time, I’m all right. But if I overdo things and don’t take my cane, I can end up needing some of those myself. I try to avoid getting to that point in the first place.”

“I guess it makes it difficult with two babies, huh?”

He looked like he was about to speak, then changed his mind. It took him a moment to reply. “We get by. It takes teamwork.”

It was definitely another of those missed context moments, like she’d sensed with Shayla in the hospital.

Lucky for him she was hurting too bad to pursue it. She just wanted the pain pill to kick in so she changed the subject rather than mulling it over.

“Is this what my life is going to be like now? Looking over my shoulder all the time?” She finally turned to them. “What kind of life is this?” she quietly asked. “Where I don’t know who’s who and might have to kill someone to protect myself?”

Sully reached across the table and laid his hands over hers. “If you need to, you’re welcomed to come stay with us. I already told Rob that, but I’m telling you, too.”

“But that’s not my life.” She looked out the window again. “I want my life back. At least the memories of it. If I had those, it wouldn’t be so bad, I guess. Then maybe I’d know who did this to me. Or at least I’d have a good idea of who didn’t do it to me so I wouldn’t have to rely on everyone else to tell me who to trust.”

“Do you trust me, Laura?” Sully quietly asked.

Something in her heart flipped over in a good way. Not romantically, but…familiar. The same way it’d felt when he’d ordered her to put her hand out.

She turned back to him and stared into his eyes. Grey, clear, understanding. He knew more about her than she did.

“Ask me again,” she said.

His gaze never wavered from hers as he placed his other hand over hers on the table. “Do you trust me?” he softly asked, in a slightly different tone. Firmer, but…something specific she couldn’t put her finger on.

She felt like she should know this.

She stared at him for a moment. Pulling air into her lungs suddenly became a difficult task, even more so with the pain. “Yes,” she quietly said. “I trust you.”

She wanted to add a “sir” to the end of that phrase but cut it off, all without understanding why.

He smiled and gently squeezed her hands before he released them and sat back. “Good. I’m glad you feel that way about me. Because yes, you’re like family to us. I’ll do whatever I can to help keep you safe.”