Pinch Me

Chapter Twenty-Two

Rob drove to the house, too tired to even think about the fight. He hated himself for not telling her sooner.

He also hated himself for not telling her about the BDSM.

Unfortunately, that was a very complex topic, and involved far more than simply explaining away friends’ unusual relationship dynamics.

What he hated most of all was that he’d lost her trust, something he’d prided himself in keeping and cherishing and protecting beyond all else.

That hurt more than anything. She no longer trusted him.

And he knew he only had himself to blame.

He shut his phone off and climbed into bed. It felt weird to sleep here now. Especially alone. But from the way she’d gone off on him, he knew she needed to calm down, as did he, before they talked.

He was too exhausted to talk. Too exhausted to try to fix the situation.

Not to mention his heart hurt too much.

Maybe she needs time away from me. Time alone to rediscover who she is.

He’d always told himself, ever since he’d taken her on as not just his submissive, but as his fiancée, that if she ever wanted to leave he’d let her go. That he would never stand in her way. That he loved her enough he would never be one of those abusive fucks who held women hostage emotionally.

Now faced with the real possibility of her leaving, he wasn’t sure he was strong enough to survive losing her.

The crazy days working had taken a toll on Rob. When he finally awoke it was after three o’clock in the afternoon and he’d missed a call from Bill, who’d left a message telling Rob they were going grocery shopping and asking how he was.

Nothing from Laura. No texts, no calls.

He knew the shop would be busy but hoped he might be able to talk to Steve for a few minutes. Laura’s truck wasn’t parked out front when he drove up, so he stopped and went in.

Steve took one look at him and waved him outside onto the dock.

“What happened?”

They’d never gone into details about their friends’ private lives with Steve, Carol, and other vanilla friends. They’d met some of their friends before, but that was it.

Keeping BDSM out of the equation, he told Steve what happened, and what he’d done.

Steve rubbed a hand over his face and stared out at the water for awhile. Both boats were out on dive or fishing charters, and the slips sat empty. A cool breeze off the Gulf blew through the mangroves on the other side of the channel from the docks.

Finally, he focused on Rob again.

“I can’t say that I blame you for holding that back from her. In your shoes, I probably would have done the same thing.”

“So how do I make it right?”

“Have you talked to her?”

“Not yet.”

Steve looked out over the water again, slowly nodding. “She’s got a temper on her.”

“Yeah.”

“You know, one thing I haven’t seen much of since the two of you got together is that infamous temper of hers.” He met Rob’s gaze. “She’s been the happiest I’ve ever seen in her life. Carol said the same thing the other day. You’re good for her. Real good.”

The older man leaned forward and tapped the picnic table again with his finger, as he had the other day when they talked. “I’m not about to get involved in your personal relationship with her. I don’t know or care what the two of you do together. All I know is I really want to see her that happy again. So whatever it takes for you to make that happen, I’m all for it.”

Steve sat back with a nod. “I was going to ask if you think a cookout would be a good idea. My house,” he added. “Tomorrow. Invite all your friends, her friends. The closest ones.”

“All of them?”

“All of them.” He didn’t flinch away from Rob’s gaze. “Because maybe if we get them all in one spot together with her, it might help jiggle something loose.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Are they all consenting adults?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then. Not my cup of tea, but I’m not passing judgment on them. Especially since the past couple of years seem to have been the happiest of her life. They’re part of that every bit as much as you are. If I recall, she met Shayla and Tony and all of them right before she met you.”

“We…I met her through them.”

He nodded again. “All right then. Tomorrow, five o’clock, my house.” He stood and started to go inside.

“What do I tell everyone to bring?”

He turned. “Themselves and a side dish. I’ll make burgers and brats.” He snorted. “Maybe it’ll help your brat.” He headed inside.

It took every ounce of strength Rob had not to bust out laughing. Either Steve had just made one of the funniest unintentional jokes he’d ever heard…

Or maybe Steve knew more than he let on.

Just like he’d nearly busted a nut the other night over Laura’s comment about him being the only one to hurt her.

It was a common private joke they shared, and had given him a little hope that she might be close to a breakthrough.

Either way, it didn’t matter. He pulled out his phone and started making calls. Fortunately, he was off tomorrow night, because he had to work that night from six until six tomorrow morning.

As the day wore on, Laura felt horrible about what she’d said to Rob. Bill was right, she didn’t have a right to be mean to Rob, no matter how aggravated she’d felt. She also didn’t feel up to going into the shop and facing Steve.

Somehow, she suspected he’d give her both barrels for yelling at Rob, too.

She also knew she deserved it.

Knowing Rob needed to sleep before another work shift that night, Laura wondered if he’d even come by the house before he left for work.

When she didn’t call him, Bill did, leaving a message for Rob before they went grocery shopping.

Finally, a little after five, Rob stopped by, dressed for work.

She got up and went to him and put her arms around him, buried her face against his chest. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m really, really sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

Tension drained from him as he carefully hugged her. “It’s okay, sweetie. I know this is stressful.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t deserve me going after you like that.”

“We’ll get through this.” He made her look up at him. “But, seriously, can you trust me?”

She nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

He kissed her. It made her want to cry again, the sweet tenderness of it.

“Tomorrow, at Steve’s, we’re having a cookout. All our friends.”

“He knows about the fight?”

Rob smiled. “Yeah. I went over and talked to him to get some advice.”

Now she really felt horrible. “Sorry,” she softly said.

“It’s okay. He offered to hold the cookout. I’ve already called everyone and they’re coming down. Five o’clock.”

“Everyone?”

He nodded. “Everyone that’s a close friend. People from the shop, a few local friends. But yes, including Shayla and Tony and everyone.”

A stray thought floated through. “What about Steve and Carol? Are they okay with…that?”

“It was Steve’s idea.” He stared into her eyes. “Okay?”

She nodded. “Okay. Thank you.”

“You don’t need to thank me.”

“Thank you for forgiving me.”

The way his expression shifted nearly broke her heart. The anguish lurking just below his surface made her feel even more horrible for the things she’d said and thought. “Laura, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re happy, and that you can trust me, and to help you get your memory back and keep you safe. If it means a few bumps in the road along the way, well, that’s nothing. I’ll go through that and more a thousand times over if it means I can take care of you and make you happy.”

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I need to go to work. Love you.”

She didn’t want to let him go. “Love you, too.”

“I’m going to the house in the morning after my shift. You and Bill meet me there and pick me up and we can ride to Steve’s together. Okay?”

“Okay.”

After he left, Bill returned from his room. She hadn’t realized he’d left the living room.

“You all right, Laura?”

She shook her head and started crying. “What if I do something to screw this up with Rob?”

He hugged her. “If he could put up with what he’s dealt with so far, sis, I think it’s going to take a lot more than that to scare him off.”

After his shift ended Sunday morning, he returned to the house and collapsed into bed. Nearly every time he slept his dreams were filled with memories.

He didn’t need to talk to a psychiatrist to know it came from his overwhelming desire to have their life back to the way it was before the attack.

This dream was an extremely fond memory. Early in their relationship, he’d had a Wednesday off, and a group of charter passengers cancelled a fishing trip due to a missed flight.

Not one to miss out on an opportunity, Laura had called him and asked if he wanted to go out on the boat with her.

That was a no-brainer.

Alone together, with snacks and cold soda on board, they took the smaller boat out into the Gulf on a beautiful day. By this time they’d done away with condoms, except for anal and on toys, and he’d wasted no time getting her naked and bent over a cooler once they’d reached their first fishing spot.

He’d enjoyed lathering her with sunscreen, taking time to tease her by playing with her nipples, ensuring he kept her horny and begging for release, to the point that he gave up trying to fish.

All he wanted was her.

Ditching his swim trunks, he sat on the cooler and crooked a finger at her. She dove for his cock, eagerly swallowing him to the root and nearly taking his breath away.

She was damn good.

He loved holding her hair, which she’d put into pigtails low on her head for him today. Two perfect handles with which to control and guide her.

“Spread your legs, baby. Wider.” He watched as a thin string of juices dripped from her pussy onto the deck. “You’re really horny, aren’t you?”

She stared up into his eyes and mumbled what sounded like agreement around his cock.

The sound vibrated through him.

What she didn’t know was he’d packed more than just fishing tackle.

“If you want to come, baby, you’d better make me come.” She gave up all control, letting him take over with his hands in her hair while he fucked her mouth. Wrapping her hands around his thighs she held on, staying with him, eyes turned up to look at him.

He smiled down at her as he thrust, taking his time and enjoying the warm, wet heat of her mouth. “Such a good girl,” he whispered.

She let out a little whimper of pleasure.

“When I come, don’t swallow. Hold it.”

Her mumbled, “Yes, Sir,” is what triggered his climax. He fought the urge to drive deep into her mouth, not wanting to choke her. She sucked on him, pulling every last drop between her sweet lips.

When he could speak, he said, “Show me.”

She opened.

“Good girl. Hold it until I say.” He pulled her up off the deck and pushed her down over the cooler. After a quick glance around to ensure they were still alone, he began spanking her.

She whimpered, but didn’t cry out, knowing if she disobeyed him, the “funishment” wouldn’t be very fun.

Once her ass was pink enough for his liking, he grabbed the duffel bag he’d brought and dug through it. He quickly lubed up the butt plug, a small one she could easily take, and then lubed her rim before slowly sliding the plug inside her.

She moaned, this time with need, but didn’t open her mouth.

Next he grabbed the vibrator. The rabbit-styled device was a little thicker than his cock, and longer. The added deviousness of the clit stimulator would only multiply the fun. He swung around, sitting on her and pinning her to the cooler, the final item in his hand.

A small wooden paddle.

“Okay, baby. You can come as much as you want, but don’t you spill a drop, and don’t you dare swallow. Understand?”

She barely got the mumbled, “Yes, Sir,” all the way out before he turned the rabbit on, on its highest setting, and slid it home inside her cunt.

It was a good thing he sat on her. Before he’d thrust it three times into her, she’d had her first orgasm. And then he started smacking her with the paddle. Not as hard as he could, but hard enough he knew it stung and she had to struggle not to cry out.

Unfortunately for her, he’d put fresh batteries in the rabbit. He struggled to hold back his sadistic giggles as he fucked her with it, alternating between slow, deep strokes and hard, fast ones. Combined with the whacks from the paddle, she literally didn’t know if she was coming or going.

And his cock quickly grew hard again.

He kept it up for nearly fifteen minutes, until her ass was a beautiful shade of red, tears streamed down her face, and he’d lost count of how many orgasms she’d had. Then he finally took mercy on her, removing the rabbit and shutting it off.

She went limp over the cooler.

“Oh, I’m not done with you yet, baby.” He returned the paddle to the bag and turned, plunging his cock home. “It’s time for round two for me.”

Folding his body over hers, he fucked her, enjoying how she shivered and moaned as another series of orgasms washed through her. He played with the butt plug, too, tapping the base and gently thrusting it into her, adding to her torment.

But he couldn’t hold back. He felt his own release build and gave in to it, grabbing her hips and fucking her hard until he’d finished, filling her full of cum on both ends.

He sat on the cooler and pulled her into his lap. “Show me.”

Despite the glazed look on her face, she opened her mouth.

“Good girl. Swallow.”

She did, curling up in his lap and resting her head against his chest. He enveloped her in his arms, loving the content sigh she breathed.

“Love you, baby girl.” He kissed the top of her head.

She giggled. “Love you, too, Sir.”

“Even if I’m a sadistic bastard sometimes?”

She trailed her fingers across his chest. “Because you’re a sadistic bastard sometimes.”

Rob startled awake and realized in his sleep he’d fisted his cock and now had a handful of his own cum. Dragging himself from bed to clean up and check the clock, he realized he’d only been asleep for less than an hour.

Maybe this time I can skip the dreams.

He was asleep seconds after returning to bed.

Laura looked out the back window at the yard full of almost-strangers. In her mind, a swirling, ghostly cloud of isolated memories mirrored the mingling crowd in the backyard. So many vague, random things. Unfortunately, none fell into place and Laura nervously hid inside, watching through the window.

Steve’s wife, Emily, walked into the kitchen. “What’s wrong, honey?”

“There’s so many.”

Emily looked out the window. “People?”

Laura nodded. “He could be anyone.”

Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea after all. Rob stood out at the grill with Steve, trying to not burn the burgers, while Sully, Tony, and Landry looked on.

“Laura, I’ve known some of these people for at least a couple of years. Rob and you have known the rest of them. I don’t think it’s possible any of them could have done this to you.”

“You saw every one of them right after the attack?”

“No, but Steve said a bunch of people stopped by the shop after they heard what happened. Plus you’re here with a large group of people. If anything, this is safe. You’re surrounded by friends. No one is going to hurt you. Not here, not today.”

There was a yell from outside. The women looked in time to see someone throw a glass of beer on a hamburger that had burst into flames on the grill.

Emily tsked. “Well, as long as you stay away from Tweedledee and Tweedledum and their fire pit of disaster, you’ll be safe.”

Emily finally coaxed Laura outside. Holding her hand, Carol took her around to all the guests she knew Laura couldn’t remember and introduced them.

Earlier, Rob had taken her around and reintroduced her to the few of their friends she hadn’t met yet. Like Tilly’s guys, and Clarisse, Mac, and Ross.

Not many memories returned, but Laura remembered three people before Carol’s introduction.

Rob watched from the grill, where Steve poked him, leaning in close. “Stop it, son.”

“What?”

“You’re frowning. No frowny time. Happy time. Happy, happy, happy.”

He shook his head. “Easy for you to say.”

“Come here.” He grabbed Rob’s shirt and dragged him through the kitchen door, closing it behind them. “Look, don’t think this is harder on you than it is on any of us, all right? I know you love her, but we love her, too. I’ve known her a hell of a lot longer than you have. So has Carol. She’s like a daughter to us, and you don’t get to corner the market on being upset. Now get that friggin’ head of yours on straight and go out there and look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

Rob leaned against the counter, arms crossed, staring at the floor. “She’s like a whole new person. She talks differently. She walks differently.” He finally looked up at Steve again. “What if she wasn’t really in love with me?”

Steve stepped close. “Stop it. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You know damn well that’s not true. She is a different person because she doesn’t have her memories. As her fiancé, you’re the one who needs to take the lead and help her.”

“I don’t want to force her.”

“Talk to her. Tell her how you feel.”

Rob turned and watched Carol lead Laura around the backyard, from person to person. “What if she doesn’t want to?”

“Well dammit, you won’t know until you try, will you? You’ve got to start somewhere.”

Steve’s house had a good view of the southern end of Lemon Bay. After dinner, Rob found Laura and got her alone for a few minutes. “Will you come watch the sunset with me?”

She nodded. He held out his hand and finally, timidly, she took it. He led her to the end of the dock, away from everyone else.

He sat down and patted the dock in front of him. She hesitantly sat, leaning against him and accepting his arms around her.

It felt right. She couldn’t deny that.

As darkness fell, a snook hit the surface of the bay a few yards from them, rippling the water. She was afraid to break the spell, worried there might not be too many moments such as these again in her life.

“This isn’t fair to you,” she said.

“This isn’t about me.”

She turned to face him. “Half your life is gone. It’s about you as much as it is me.” From a few private conversations with Carol at the shop, and with Shayla while still in the hospital, she’d learned a lot about Rob, too embarrassed to ask him herself.

She learned they had been nearly inseparable, before. That she’d told Carol, Shayla, Steve, Bill, and others that he was the love of her life, but could she honestly say she loved him now when he was still a stranger in so many ways, regardless of how he made her feel?

Those thoughts led to more guilt.

Rob brushed a stray hair from her face. “Laura, I love you. I have loved you for years, and I will always love you. If that means I have to wait, I’ll wait. You are my life. I will take whatever I can get. If that means sitting back and waiting, I can do that. I will do that.”

Laura didn’t know what to say. She leaned back against him and they watched the boats on the bay in the deepening dusk.

Back at the house, Bill offered to go ahead and take Doogie home and left Laura with Rob to give them some alone time.

She hoped she hadn’t screwed things up between them so badly that it couldn’t be fixed. “Will you stay tonight?” she asked him. “At the condo? Please?”

“Is that what you want?”

She nodded.

He gathered her hands in his and kissed them. “Okay.”

She relaxed a little, relieved. “Thank you for a nice evening. I appreciate all the trouble you and Steve and Carol went through to put that together at such short notice.”

He nodded and looked at the floor. “You’re welcome. I’m sorry you didn’t get more memories back from it.”

“It’s okay.”

“I need to go grab some stuff.” When he returned he found her curled on the couch and listening to a CD. John McLean’s Better Angels album.

“You like it?” he asked.

She nodded. “Did I always like it?”

He smiled. “It’s one of your favorites. You ripped it to your iPod. You’d put it on and play it over and over while you were writing. You’ve got two kinds of music, writing and driving. This was one of your writing music selections.”

“How can you put up with me when I don’t know anything?”

He sat next to her on the couch and held her. “Because I love you.”