Pinch Me

Chapter Eighteen

Sarah helped Laura go through the shop computer, but there was nothing on it resembling a journal. Then Laura called Rob.

“Sweetheart, I don’t know where your newer journals are. I went through your laptop looking for them after…” She heard him take a deep breath. “Even Det. Thomas had someone go through your laptop looking for clues. They’re not there.”

She rubbed at her forehead. “Steve and Bill said I had old handwritten journals.”

“They might be in some of the boxes in the garage at the house. If they’re not there, then they’re probably at the storage unit.”

“Storage unit?”

“Yeah, but that place is packed to the rafters. You can’t go crawling around in there until your ribs are better.” From his tone of voice she knew she couldn’t argue with him.

Hell, she didn’t want to argue with him.

Did I always let him dictate things to me?

How much of her life didn’t she know about? At least she’d been able to sit down with Carol at the shop that morning. She’d gone through all the finances with Laura. She wasn’t rich, but she had some savings and retirement accounts, and the shop paid her a salary every week. She also had a small joint account with Rob they’d recently opened, but it didn’t have much money in it.

Her condo was paid off from her share of her parents’ insurance settlement from the wreck and their life insurance. Bill told her they’d gone ahead and sold their parents’ house because she hadn’t wanted to live there alone, and didn’t have time for the upkeep. Except for a couple of pieces of furniture, he’d given everything else to her to deal with, not wanting the hassle of shipping stuff to Montana.

So she’d gotten a storage unit and put it all there.

I didn’t want to deal with it. That thought came to her with certainty. It’d been too painful, too draining. It had been easier to put it in storage and pay a fee every month, deducted from her credit card on file with them.

I didn’t have to think about it.

“I’m going to cook us dinner tonight,” Rob said. “Are you coming home soon? I don’t want you wearing yourself out.”

“Bill said we’re coming home.” She glanced over and spotted him nodding. “We’ll see you soon.”

Carol and Bill helped get Laura out to the truck while Steve brought Doogie on his leash. As they returned to her condo, she had a thought.

“Why do I have stuff stored in Rob’s garage?”

He let out a little snort. “You planned on moving in together after the wedding,” he added. “And it’s not like you wanted to try to cram all that stuff into your condo. Which it wouldn’t fit anyway. You told me you and Rob were going to deal with it all after the wedding and honeymoon.”

Honeymoon. “Where were we going?” she asked.

He smiled. “Need you ask? You reserved a cabin at Old Faithful for a week.”

She didn’t blame Rob for not telling her all of that. He’d been busy working, and when they were together, and both awake, his focus had been on her, not slamming her head full of information.

“Besides, why wouldn’t you put stuff at the house? It’s your house, too.”

“What?”

He glanced at her. “I thought you went over stuff with Carol.”

“Bank accounts.”

“You and Rob own the house together.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, because you’re marrying him, maybe?”

“But we’re not married yet.”

“You went in fifty-fifty on it. Hell, you’re the one who found the house and told him you wanted it.”

She closed her eyes, feeling overwhelmed again. “I did?”

“Yeah.”

“Then why am I not living with him?”

“Well, because as of just three months or so ago, the house, as you told me, looked like a condemnable wasteland. You guys had friends come in and help you fix it up so you could even stay there. It’s only been in the past two months the kitchen and bathrooms were done. I think Rob told me you guys just got the fourth bedroom painted three weeks ago. He was living with you off and on for a while as you guys did stuff to the house. He sold his condo over in Punta Gorda and used that for the down payment and renovations.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, you guys were back and forth all the time between the places. And if you had a dive trip or something and he was working, sometimes you weren’t at the same house.” He let out a laugh. “I used to joke with you that you needed a secretary to keep track of who was where.”

“What was I going to do with my condo?”

“Rent it out, maybe. You weren’t sure. You guys said you didn’t want to get rid of it. But it was something you wanted to wait—”

“Until after the wedding,” she finished for him.

“You remember?”

She sighed as she opened her eyes. “No. But it makes sense.”

Rob waited for Bill and Laura to return to the condo before he left to go to the house to look for the boxes for Laura.

What he left out was that wanted to stop by the shop before he went home so he could talk to Steve.

They stepped out onto the dock to sit and talk in private. “What’s wrong, son? Other than the obvious, I mean.”

“I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid to say the wrong thing to her, but I’m going out of my gourd. I don’t know how to help her. Apparently I’m not going to be able to protect her.”

“She’s made progress. It’s just a matter of time.”

“How much time? I’m afraid to leave her alone because that psycho might come back. Even if it wasn’t for that, I’m afraid to leave her alone…” He sat back and didn’t finish his thought.

“You’re afraid she might not want you back.”

He finally nodded.

“You have every right to be worried.”

“Oh, yeah, thanks. That’s a big help.”

Steve leaned forward across the table and tapped the picnic table’s weathered surface with his index finger. “Rob, listen to me. The doctors never guaranteed she’d get her memory back. It’s a miracle she remembers as much as she does. Think of it this way. She picked you once, she’ll pick you again.”

“I’m afraid to come on too strong. Maybe she’ll realize she wants someone different.”

“Well hell, boy, sitting on your duff isn’t going to solve that problem now, is it? How did you feel when you first met her?”

Rob thought back. For obvious reasons, Steve and Carol and the others had no idea how they’d met. All they knew was that Shayla and Tony had introduced them.

They always left out the part of it being at a BDSM club up in Sarasota.

“She was pretty. Smart. Funny, but not snotty or obnoxious. She was easy to talk to.”

“Do you still love those things about her?”

“Of course.”

“Then use your brain. Whatever you did before, if it worked the first time, it’ll work again. Only this time you’ve got the special gift of hindsight not to repeat any mistakes you think you made you wish you could take back. You have the advantage of knowing what she did and didn’t like about you. And, you have the advantage of knowing who she is and what she did and didn’t like. That’s a rare gift few ever get.”

He thought about that for a moment. “Without her memory, she’s not the same person anymore.”

Steve nodded. “Neither are you.”

Rob returned to Laura’s condo, empty-handed, over an hour later.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. They’re not there. I went through every box in the garage, and through the spare bedrooms. They aren’t there.”

Somehow, she managed not to cry. “Okay. Thanks for looking.”

He gently pulled her to him and enveloped her in his arms. She felt a sense of peace settle over her in his embrace.

“I promise, once you’re feeling better, we’ll go over to the storage unit and look for them. All right?”

“Okay.”

“Meanwhile, I know there’s a lot of stuff on your computer. Older stuff you imported from your old systems, things like that. You didn’t get your first laptop until about six years ago. After dinner, I’ll help you look for the files. Okay?”

“You don’t know where they are?”

“Sweetie, you are a private person when it comes to stuff like that. And I respect your privacy. The only time I’ve ever used your laptop was to check my email or look up stuff on the Internet, and even then only after I’ve asked you first.”

“Can you check my email? You did it before.”

“Well, yeah. I have your passwords. You have mine, too.” She didn’t miss how he caught himself. “Had,” he softly said. “And can have again. We know each other’s banking information, all of that. And anything you want of mine, anything you want to know, you tell me. But normally, no, I don’t go into your email or other accounts unless you’ve asked me to for some reason.”

She tucked her face against his chest again. “Okay.”

“I have a little surprise. After dinner, Seth and Leah are coming over to visit.”

“What about Shayla and Tony?” She desperately missed Shayla. She’d even texted with her a few times despite being nervous about using the phone and Bill helping her by removing a bunch of extra apps she didn’t know how to use and didn’t care about.

“Maybe tomorrow night. We’re trying not to overwhelm you. All right?”

Part of her bridled against being handled like a child. Yet the majority of her loved him for his concern. And something about his tone of voice stirred something inside her in a good way. “Okay.”

Bill retired to the guest room to handle his email and watch TV after dinner, leaving them alone before their guests arrived.

Rob filled in a little bit of information about Leah and Seth. Shayla had told Laura about them, that Seth had been best friends with Leah’s first husband, who’d died after a battle with pancreatic cancer.

Rob could tell Laura thought it was a little odd the two got together so soon after Leah was widowed, but he assured her Leah’s husband had given them his blessings and even engineered their union.

“Really?” She studied Rob, her brow furrowed.

So much he couldn’t tell her. So much he had to keep from her. He hated it. Hated not being able to tell her that Kaden had carefully trained Seth to take over as Leah’s new Master following his death.

That Leah, for a brief, bittersweet time, had the triad she’d always longed for with the two men she loved, men who loved her.

A triad not unlike the ones Tilly and Clarisse both had, although in those cases the men had relationships with each other before meeting their women.

He’d called Tony for advice on broaching that subject. Other than agreeing that lying to Laura wasn’t an option, Tony hadn’t had any suggestions for breaking the information about their friends’ triads to Laura other than just outright telling her about them.

When Seth and Leah arrived, he’d already briefed them over the phone about Laura’s current condition. That they had to keep the conversation strictly vanilla.

Leah hugged him first before walking over to Laura. “Hi, sweetie.”

Seth gave Rob a hug and whispered in his ear, “You okay?”

He gave a little shake of his head before plastering on a smile.

He wouldn’t let Laura see him upset.

And he wouldn’t let her see that the totally blank look she gave them as he introduced them to her threatened to rip his heart from his chest.

Yes, she’d been closer to Shayla, before. But Laura had been good friends with Leah, too. Next to Shayla, Rob would peg Leah as Laura’s next best friend.

Leah sat on the couch next to her. Rob didn’t miss how the smile on Leah’s face probably matched the one he knew he wore in front of Laura.

The practiced face.

Hiding the pain inside.

Leah’s green eyes looked a little too bright, like maybe she was on the verge of tears. “How are you feeling?” she asked Laura. “Rob said you’re still having some pain.”

“I’m okay.” Rob watched as Laura stared at Leah’s necklace, the silver chain with the heart locket that she wore as a day collar.

I need to get her another necklace. He hated the idea that the bastard who’d attacked Laura stole her day collar.

Rob and Seth mostly stayed silent, watching as Leah did her best to tease memories from Laura’s mind.

When Rob stepped into the kitchen to get a drink of water, Seth followed.

He leaned in close. “It’ll be okay.”

Rob’s shoulders tensed. He’d do anything for Laura to get her memory back and be safe, including giving up their Master-slave dynamic, if that’s what it took.

“I’m not so sure,” Rob whispered.

Seth squeezed his shoulder and returned to the living room. “Leah, it’s late. We should probably let Laura get some rest.”

Rob watched Laura nod.

The strong, feisty woman he’d fallen in love with was hidden somewhere inside the meek, mousey victim sitting on the sofa.

Damned if he knew the secret to finding her.

After hugs and good-nights, Rob walked them outside. Leah sniffled as she hugged him.

“Shayla warned me, but…” She sniffled again.

“Yeah.”

Seth gave him another hug. “Seriously, if you need to bring her to our house, we’ve got the room. You can both stay with us as long as you need to. And Doogie.”

Rob glanced around. There weren’t any strange cars in sight, no one prowling the street. “Her brother leaves the Tuesday after next. If she hasn’t got her memory back by then I might take you up on it. I’m scared to leave her alone.”

When he returned to the condo, Laura wasn’t on the sofa. He found her in her office, sitting in front of the computer.

“Sweetie, it’s late. I think you should head for bed.”

She stared at the screen for a moment. He’d thought maybe she hadn’t heard him when she answered. “I keep having dreams.”

He walked over to her and gently rested his hand on her shoulder. “What kind of dreams?”

“Bad ones. I start out sitting here and this image of a skull appears on the screen. Then someone’s knocking on the door and I wake up before I answer it.”

“You should talk to Dr. Simpson about it tomorrow when you see her.”

She nodded. His heart jumped a little, in a good way, when she rested her hand on top of his and looked up at him. The blue flecks in her grey eyes looked darker, like sapphire chips. “What if she can’t help me? What if I never get my memory back? Are you going to be able to love me like this?”

“What?”

“I saw the way you were watching me. And Leah. I could tell. I know I’m different now. I’m not the same.”

He knelt next to her. “Laura, I love you. Nothing will change that. We’ll get through this.”

She looked down at the engagement ring on her right hand. “I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to call things off.”

“Stop.” He used Dom tone on her. He immediately regretted it when her eyes widened a little in shock.

Or maybe it was fear.

He gentled his tone. “You are the love of my life. Whatever happens, we’ll get through it together. I still want to marry you, if you still want me.” That’s when the horrible thought hit him. “Do you still want me?”

“I…” She looked down at the ring again. “This isn’t fair to you.”

Fear consumed him. “You let me worry about what’s fair to me, okay?” He gently cupped her chin and tipped her face so she had to look him in the eye. “I will be right here by your side unless you tell me otherwise. Got it?”

Her eyes dropped closed. She nodded, then leaned against his chest as he engulfed her in his arms.

With his face buried in her hair, he said, “I swear, Laura, I will take care of you. I love you, and I will do everything I can to help you get through this. Just don’t give up on me. Please.”

“I won’t,” she whispered.

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”