Ravage Me

Chapter 6—Harlow

Shit. Shit. Shit. What the fuck was I thinking going out to the main room. Not only was that bitch Mindy there, but fucking Cruz. Why in the hell does he have this magnetic force about him that just pulls me to him, making him hard to resist.

I couldn’t have him. It’d just turn into the same shit I’ve seen a thousand times over and over again in here. A brother starts seeing a woman, fucks her a thousand ways to Sunday, gets tired of her, and then passes her on to the brothers. I won’t be that girl. I may spread my legs, but not to these guys… at least until Cruz. What the fuck was I thinking?

I knew… I was horny. Plain and fucking simple. Why does he have to be… well, Cruz? Power just emanates off of him, beckoning me, engulfing me. I swear that man short circuits every brain cell in my head just by his smell. Then, being in the same fucking room with him, my body throbbed craving his. This didn’t happen with the brothers, never. It had to be just because of my two year dry spell.

If it weren’t for this fucking lockdown, I’d get the hell out of here and wipe my memories of Cruz… or at least I would try to.

Fuck. Throwing open the door to Pops’ room; I found Casey sitting on the bed. “Where the fuck have you been?” I barked. She didn’t look at me but fidgeted with her hands.

“I slept in the spare room downstairs.” Casey turned towards me. “So one night and you’re someone’s ol’ lady. What the hell happened?”

Sitting on the bed, I explained, “I’m not…” Running my fingers through my long dark hair, I shook my head. The last day had been a rollercoaster ride. I knew coming back to this life would make things interesting; I just didn’t realize how much.

“Thought we didn’t fuck brothers,” she said twirling her hands in her lap.

“I know. He’s just so damn overwhelming, and I couldn’t say no, I didn’t want to say no.”

“Is this an ‘I needed a dick thing,’ or is it real?” she asked, puzzled.

“For me… a dick thing. He says it’s the real thing, but he’s a brother. I’m not stupid. Anyway, even if I thought it was real, and it didn’t work out; I’d be fucked.” Knowing if I left him, I’d be out, out of the club, out of the life, yet another reason to be scared shitless about him. It didn’t matter that I was the VPs daughter or a sister to a member. Once I was an ol’ lady, my status with the club would change forever, and there’d be nothing I could do about it. Club rules. This has been my family, my entire life. I was not ready to give it up.

“I think Cruz is a good fit for you.” Her voice was low but serious.

I stared at her as if she grew three heads, not recognizing the woman sitting next to me. Of all the people, I would have never thought those words would come from her. We’ve always talked about the women of the club and how each had their places. And one of those places was the club momma. These women get passed around from brother to brother as free pussy, and for some reason they loved it. It’s the one role that we vowed always to steer clear of.

And more recently, there were reasons that Casey, nor anyone, for that matter, knew. They were reasons that I locked down deep, and they would fucking stay there.

“What?”

“Cruz is a good guy for the most part,” she said, smiling. We all knew that none of these men were angels, far from it. “He’s great with his kid. That bitch of a baby momma is a pain in the ass, from what I hear, but other than that, he doesn’t have a lot of drama.” She turned facing me. “And he can hold his own against you.” She smiled, and I returned it, shaking my head.

“I can’t. I won’t be a whore around here, who the brothers think they can pass around. I can’t. I won’t.” Casey flinched.

“No one’s saying that.”

“Why the hell are you all the sudden okay with me fucking a brother? Wasn’t it you that sat there and made a pact that we never would. Even doing that stupid cut your finger open blood shit.” She laughed her beautiful laugh.

“Yeah. I was there. We were also thirteen. Things change,” she said blowing out a huff of air.

Breathing in deep, I stared at Casey. She’s been my best friend for so long. If I could talk to anyone about this, it’d be her. “There’s something there. I’ve seen more guys in and out of this damn place than I can count. Not one has done what Cruz has. He sparks something inside of me, something I haven’t felt before. But it was one night, and it will be the last.”

“You don’t have to rush into shit.”

A knock on the door stopped her thoughts. Opening the door, I was surprised to see Diamond standing there. “Yes?”

“Need a minute.” His arms crossed over his chest as if power didn’t already radiate off of him.

“I’ll go,” Casey, knowing protocol, called as I stepped aside letting her out. Whenever the President wanted to talk, we knew the others needed to leave immediately.

“What’s going on?” I asked trying to be calm, but inside my nerves were a bit on edge from this impromptu visit.

Diamond eyed me intently. “We’re going on soft lockdown, except for you and Ma. You two are not to leave this clubhouse. If there’s somewhere you have to be, you take a brother. No discussions…” My anger began boiling over. This was all because of Babs and fuck if I didn’t want to kill the bitch. But I locked my lips as he kept going. “I know you’re pissed Princess, but this is a club decision. It’s what’s best for the club. You want what’s best for us, right?”

Hanging my head, “Of course.” In all my years, in this club, I’d always wanted to make the brothers proud, now would be no exception, even if I hated it.

“Look, Princess, we have dealings with Rabbit and his crew. We need to keep those in mind while we deal with this situation.”

Swallowing my pride, “I understand.”

“Good.”

“I need to go to Studio X and check on shit.”

“Then you take a brother with you… and your gun,” he said as he walked out of the room not looking back.

Cruz followed right beside me the entire way to X. After arguing about who was riding with me, Cruz won the pissing contest when Diamond stepped in, again, ordering him to go. I wasn’t happy, but it was what it was. Ma said she’d watch Cooper, so I’m sure he’s getting spoiled rotten.

Pulling up to X, I was happy to see that the building looked exactly the same as I left it two years ago. The blackened bulletproof windows had the sun’s light reflecting off them. The large X hung above the door, but with it being closed, the bright red light wasn’t shining. Parking my bike near the back entrance, Cruz followed closely. I kept my eyes out but didn’t see a damn thing.

Walking in, the place was eerily quiet. The black walls had red drapery that hung all around the room. There was a large bar on one end and the stage with poles on the other. The black tables and chairs were placed exactly where they should be, filling me with pride. I began this place to help the club bring in clean money, and it has profited greatly.

“Harlow?” Liv called from the office as she ran towards me smiling. “Oh, my God!” She squealed. Liv had been running the place for me this entire time, and from the looks of things, she was doing a kick ass job.

Her arms wrapped around me. “Hey, girl. How’s it going?”

She pulled away, “Great. We’ve tripled our profits, and I brought in five new girls. You’ll love them; they’re hot.” She eyed Cruz up and down, and her sharp intake of breath told me she liked the assessment. “Hey, Cruz.” She gave him a very seductive smile, and damn if it didn’t piss me off, not that I had any right to that feeling.

“You two know each other?” I didn’t want to know the answer, but I loved punishing myself, and if I couldn’t be with him, may as well put salt in the wound.

Liv stepped closer to him running her hands up his chest. It took every bit of strength in my body to keep still in one spot. “Cruz and I…” her words trailed off as Cruz cut in.

“I fucked her a couple of times.” His voice was completely unapologetic.

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of a sound escaping my lips even though my stomach fell to my feet, and the air rushed out of my body. I didn’t want to feel this way, but fuck if him screwing Liv didn’t make me want to rip her eyes out. Shit. He’s not yours, Harlow.

“Wait a minute. Am I missing something?” Liv turned to me, questioning.

Eyeing Cruz, I turned back to Liv. “Nah, we’re good.”

Cruz came up wrapping his arms around my waist as I tried to push away from him. “She’s my ol’ lady. Doesn’t want to claim it yet, so I’m claiming it for her.”

Liv’s eyes grew wide. “I thought you didn’t date brothers? And you’ve only been out for what… a day?”

“I don’t, and I’m not his ol’ lady. And yeah, a day. Let’s get down to business. Let me see the profit and loss sheets and the files on the new girls,” I said, pulling out of Cruz’s grasp as he chuckled.

After going over the paperwork and hugging the girls as they came in, we headed back to the club. I didn’t want to stay all night, and Cruz needed to get back to Cooper.

The clubhouse was pretty quiet, but after last night that was understandable. The guys were drinking at the bar, and Ma was playing with Cooper coloring at the table. A couple of women sat on the far couches but didn’t say a word. The club mommas. I rolled my eyes ignoring them.

“There she is!” Dagger yelled, running up to me wrapping his arms around me.

“Here I am… what’s up?” I walked up close to him breathing in the booze and cigarettes, his familiar scent.

“Things have gotten more interesting with you back, Babe.” His words made me laugh.

“Yeah. I’m sure you had enough going on without me interfering in it.”

Zed came up kissing my cheek. “Princess, this is the most fun we’ve had in a while.”

“What? Watching me beat shit up?” I said rolling my eyes.

They laughed. “Something like that.”

Cruz strolled in. “Get you’re fucking hands off of her.” I didn’t move. He had no rights to me, and he needed to fucking learn that quickly.

“Dude, calm the fuck down. We’ve known her since she was a kid.” Part of me was a little giddy at the whole alpha thing Cruz had going on. I’d really never had that before with a man. Damn these fucking feelings. I. Don’t. Want. Him.

“Pin… ess!” Cooper screamed from across the room. My eyes smiled at the little man running towards me and jumping into my arms.

“You have fun with Ma?” I asked, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

“Yep. Me’s got cookies.” I began to tickle his belly as he laughed uncontrollably.

“Where’s mine?” He pointed to his tummy. Lifting his little body up, I began to pretend to eat his tummy, making weird eating noises as he laughed and laughed.

Looking up at Cruz, he had a puzzled look on his face. “What?” I asked.

He lit his cigarette and shook his head. “It just amazes me that the woman who met me blow for blow can turn it off and be what I just saw.”

“What is that?”

“A loving, caring mom.” His words made me freeze, making it difficult to breathe. I slowly walked Cooper over to Ma handing him off, not ready to hear this shit coming out of his mouth and wanting to get away from the audience in the room.

“I’ve gotta go lay down.” Turning, I didn’t stop when my name was repeated over and over; instead I locked myself in Pops’ room. Climbing into my roll on the floor, I laid my head on the scruff pillow as my mind tried to take on the tornado of thoughts bombarding me.

Mom. Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve known this man all of a day, and now he’s talking about me being a mom to his kid? I didn’t know the first fucking thing about kids. Never thought I’d have any. Why does the damn thought excite me? Why does being with Cruz ignite me?

Emotions, I fucking hated them. They always turned me into a blubbering idiot, which was exactly why I’ve stayed away from any type of relationship. Made my head feel heavy and crazy. I’d much rather stick to my hard shell and not feel.

A hard knock on the door had me covering my head with the blankets, trying to escape from everything and everyone, but its persistence made me get my sorry, ass up. Opening the door, the oxygen left my body at the sight of Cruz standing in front of me. His tight black shirt fit his body like a glove, showing off every curve of his muscles. His hair was its normal disheveled self, and his eyes were on fire with lust.

My pulse picked up as blood began racing through my body. My heart was about ready to burst out of my chest as the air around us became electrified. Remembering the night before, and the intensity that came from Cruz, I knew I needed him. Dammit.

The sexy smirk gracing his face told me he knew exactly what I was thinking. Shaking myself out, “Whatcha need?” My tone had a small bit of its punch back. When G.T. found us together, I didn’t know what happened to me. I knew I sounded like a sullen child, but in a way, I was. I embarrassed myself, and I didn’t like that feeling. Too many memories started flooding my mind that I wanted to keep locked up, and I needed to get away from him. Time to snap my shit back.

“Talk,” was the only word he uttered, confusing me. I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest.

“About?” The defiance came back fully.

“Stop the fucking bullshit. What the hell was that this morning?” His sexy voice washed over me, remembering the words he grunted in my ears over the course of the night while he thought I was sleeping. That voice alone can cause a woman’s panties to fly, so forceful, deep and sexy.

“Nothing to talk about. It was a mistake.” Normally, men would be happy with a one night fuck and leave me the hell alone. But not Cruz for some fucking reason.

“The fuck it was a mistake. You didn’t feel that way when my dick was pushing in and out of that tight pussy of yours.” Wetness seeped out of me from his gruff words. I couldn’t help but get hot as hell when he talked this way. It made every part of me tingle something no man has ever fully done before.

“I’m not one of those women out on the couch. I can’t be.” I steeled my voice, not letting the vulnerability come through. I’d already given him enough of that shit this morning.

“Why the fuck you are so hung up on this shit I don’t know. But you need to deal with it and get the fuck over it. Now. Do you want me to treat you like a whore? I can arrange that. But I don’t fucking want to. That’s the damn difference.”

“What happens when you’re done? I know the rules. I’ll be banned. This is the only life I’ve ever known.” Damn if this man didn’t bring out all my weaknesses even when I tried to hide it. Family. I didn’t want to lose my family.

“First, I ain’t gonna be done. Second, any of these men touch you, I’ll pound their asses down.” He stepped closer closing the door behind him. The room instantly became electrified with a current so strong it was pulling me under. “Third, I didn’t say you were my momma. I said you were my girl, my woman, my ol’ lady. End of discussion.” He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me to him. I didn’t want to resist. My body was in such a tornado it was making my head spin.

“You don’t even know me.”

Looking up into his blue eyes, they warmed me, and my insides melted. Dammit. “Let’s go over what I know. You’re strong; you met me blow for blow, stood up to me when no other female would even dare, you’ve got balls of fucking steel, and know how to take care of yourself. And you’re good with my kid, who’s already taking quite a liking to you. Fast. Yeah. But that’s how I live my life. I see it. I take it. I’m taking you.”

Uncertainty ran though me, but my body was craving this man’s touch, craving those magical lips to send me over the edge. Everything around me was swirling out of control. Why the hell was this happening? I’m so damn sure of myself all the damn time, one day with this man, and I’m questioning everything.

Fuck it.

Gripping Cruz’s shirt, I pulled him hard down to my lips as I took what I needed from him, and he gave, punishing me in return. “I’m glad you see things my way,” he murmured, before cupping my ass and lifting me up as I wrapped my legs around his body and my back crashed against the door. Our lips and hands attacked each other in a frenzy of lust.

Everything happened so damn fast that before I could process what was going on, my pants were removed; Cruz was sleeved and balls deep inside of me. His body hammering into mine so hard and so fast that I forgot where I was, much less… who I was. My body became one huge nerve ending that was on the verge of imploding.

Cruz’s name escaped my lips as he gasped my name giving two more thrusts and slowly stilling as we came together. Our breathing was unbelievably labored, and I rested my head on his shoulder trying to regain myself.

I shook my head at the realization that this would happen. If for nothing else, his dick was becoming a drug, and I wanted more. Hopefully, he’d prove to be worth the risk.

Two days later

My legs spread wide as I gathered myself in my stance. It’d been so long since I’ve done this, practice. I was damn well gonna hit that fucking target over and over.

Raising my arms, I cupped my girl in my hands, loving the weight of her. As I squeezed the trigger over and over, the familiar lulling sound of each shot going off made me smile. Keeping my eye on the target, I kept firing.

As I pushed the button that brought my target close, I was ecstatic to see that I’d hit my mark repeatedly. Bitch has still got it.

“Great shot,” Cruz’s smooth voice came from behind me. Turning, I smiled and stared into those gorgeous blue eyes of his. These past two days have been a whirlwind. Not only was I trying to learn the ins and outs since being locked up, I was learning about this strong man behind me. And damn if he didn’t send my entire life into a spiral, good or bad was still up for debate.

“Look,” I pulled down my target sheet handing it to him as I added another.

“You killed him; that’s for sure.”

“Her…”

“What?” Cruz eyed me as if he heard wrong.

“You said I killed him… when it’s actually, I killed her.”

“Babs?” I nodded, pushing the button to send my target back through the chute.

“I’m firing!” I yelled out seconds before I began blasting the target again, thinking of Babs bleeding on the ground, gurgling her last breath. It only fueled me up as I kept shooting, adding another clip, going for it again, not stopping until the paper was dangling off the grip.

Placing my gun in my holster, I turned around to see Cruz staring at me. “What?”

“I know the brothers taught you to shoot, but damn babe.” His body moved closer to mine as his hands filtered through my hair, pulling it, so his eyes met mine. “Fucking hot.”

His lips smothered mine in his signature, sexy way as my body instantly reacted. Over the last couple of days, my body had tuned itself with Cruz’s, wanting him more than I ever thought possible. Not that I would tell him that, but my body couldn’t lie.

The clearing of a throat brought our deep kiss to a stop as we looked over to see Rocky standing at the doorway to the range.

“What’s up man?” Cruz asked as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

“Came to shoot,” Rocky’s voice was so quiet, I felt like if I could squint my ears to hear better I would. But what got me was his voice. There was something about it. Something familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

“You done?” Cruz asked, looking down at me while I smiled, nodding. “All yours man.”

“Thanks…” Cruz slapped Rocky’s shoulder as he walked by. When he breezed past me, my body went on alert, full-blown red alert. Something. I didn’t know what the hell it was, but something with him was setting me off, and not in a good way.

Turning, I stared at him. His long hair, beard, and lanky body were nothing that I’d ever seen before. Racking my brain, I tried to place him, but came up blank. As we walked out of the range, Cruz must have sensed something off. “What’s wrong?”

Not one to shy away, I said, “Rocky. Was he around before I went in prison?”

“No, why?”

“I don’t know. I get the sense I’ve met him before.”

“Like where?” he questioned, seeming interested.

“Not sure. I could be totally full of shit.”

“Far as I know, he’s never been near the club. But I’ll have it checked out.” Cruz pulled me close, “Let’s go for a ride.” I smiled up at him, nodding my head.

Being on the back of Cruz’s bike was an exhilarating experience. I’ve always loved riding, but something about my thighs pressed against this rock hard man was making this one of the best rides ever. His smell of leather and testosterone combined with the roar of the bike was making my body pulsate, throb, and ache. Pressing my pussy as close to his ass as I could, I began slightly rubbing just to give myself a small amount of friction to go along with the rumble of the bike.

Cruz’s hand squeezed my thigh as if he knew what I was doing, before placing it back on the throttle. As he revved the bike, I got just enough friction that my body shuddered. It wasn’t an all-consuming orgasm by any means, but it felt good and briefly cured the ache.

As my hands released the clutching grip I seemed to have placed on Cruz’s abs, his body began to move as if he was chuckling. With my body very relaxed, I held on, enjoying my first ride with him.

Cruz pulled the bike into a small diner, Sam’s, just outside of Sumner. I’d missed this place while being inside. The smell of grease and fries surged into my nostrils as my stomach took notice and growled. They had the best burgers and fries, and I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth in them.

After getting off his bike, Cruz wrapped his arms around my body pulling me flush to his. “You owe me,” he whispered onto my lips.

“What?” I said; my breath barely leaving my body.

He shook his head slowly. “Getting yourself off and not letting me watch. Not. Happening. Again.” His lips crashed down on mine, and I felt lost in all that was Cruz. It amazed me how this man seemed to have some sort of spell that mesmerized my body instantly.

Pulling away, “I might let you watch next time.” I smirked patting his broad chest as I turned to the door.

It didn’t take, but a minute for Cruz to be seen in the diner. Many guys coming up to him, shaking his hand and doing that man hug thing. He didn’t introduce me, which either meant he didn’t want anyone to know who I was, or I was insignificant. I was hoping it wasn’t the latter.

Instead of Cruz taking his seat across from me in the booth, he pulled himself right in beside me, pushing me all the way against the wall with his broad body. “You know you can sit on the other side,” I said, wiggling to make room.

“Then I couldn’t do this…” Cruz leaned down placing the sweetest, softest kiss on my lips causing my insides to flutter.

“What can I getcha?” I heard the waitress’s voice, but couldn’t pull myself out of the shock of the gentleness that I just witnessed. This rough man, who has shown me this hard, demanding side of him, has an unbelievably soft side, too, who’d have known.

A sharp squeeze of my hand sent pain through my arm causing me to snap out of it. “What?”

Cruz chuckled, “What do you want to eat, Baby?”

Shit. Shaking my head, I smiled at the waitress, but it instantly fell. Her eyes were totally focused on Cruz sending a surge of fire throughout me. As if sensing it, Cruz’s hand came up under my chin, pulling me towards his face. My eyes locked on his just as he placed another kiss on my lips.

“Order what ya want.” He winked.

Without looking back at her, I ordered, as did Cruz, sending her away. “You don’t like her looking at me, Babe?”

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer, because I didn’t fully understand it myself. “So, you were in the Marines?”

His body stiffened, “Yep.”

“You don’t like talking about it?” I asked as the waitress placed our drinks on the table, and I reached for mine.

“Nah…”

I knew better than anyone about not wanting to talk about shit. So I changed the subject. “Why’d you join Ravage?”

A smirk claimed the corner of his mouth. “I realized this is where I belong. This is my family.”

His answer was utterly diplomatic and really didn’t give me a lot to go on, but deep down I understood. The brotherhood wasn’t something that most men talked about. Even if I grew up here and knew the life, he steered away.

“Do you have a family outside of Ravage?”

“Nah, Mom died when I got out of the service. She was all I had.”

“Didn’t know your dad?” I instantly regretted the question when his voice spoke.

“He left when I was young. Loved some other woman; crushed my mom. It wasn’t pretty.”

My insides churned for this man. I couldn’t imagine Pops ever leaving me, abandoning me. He’s taught me so much throughout the years. Reaching over, I clasped his hand and squeezed as his eyes locked on mine. As I tried to release him, he held tighter, and I began to relax into him. He absently began rubbing circles with this thumb, sending shocks throughout my body with each swipe. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s who I am, but enough about me. What about you?” I didn’t know what to say. These past two years, all I did was survive. What do I say to that question? He must have sensed my apprehension. “Growing up.”

“This has been my life. Hanging out at the clubhouse, and the brothers are really all I’ve known. They’ve taught me how to be me.”

“Must have been weird growing up around all those guys.”

“No. Not actually. They were all Pops’ brothers, and they treated me very well. I always respected them, and they did me.” Not saying they didn’t try to fuck me as I got older, but I thought I’d leave that part out.

“You ever want to get away from here?”

His question caught me off guard, but I answered immediately. “No. This is my home. You wanna tell me about Mel?” I asked, really not wanting to know, but thinking I should.

“No. She’s inconsequential.” There were questions there, but I could tell the subject was closed. “You wanna tell me about your time inside?”

No. I didn’t, but I would. “Boring. Same shit different day. I kept to myself as much as possible. My only goal was to get out alive.”

“Understandable. Heard you had your own space.”

“Yeah. Pops and Diamond worked something out, and I owe them.” I did. I knew it. That’s why when they asked me to take care of a couple of things for them I didn’t balk one bit.

He didn’t respond. As I looked around the diner, eyes were focused on us. It was the same as it was when I was out with Pops and G.T. The Ravage patch held great honor and respect around here, not to mention curiosity. They all probably wanted to know everything that was Cruz’s life. The thought made me snicker because no one would ask… not that they would be told anyway.

As our food came, and we settled into small conversation, I felt happy, something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

From going to sleep on a mattress that felt like a board in prison, to being wrapped up in Cruz’s arms in a soft bed, was a huge change. I’ve had to admit his arms were beginning to be one of my favorite places to be. Prison was so stark, and Cruz was colorful and bright… life.

“You gonna tell me your real name?” I asked him, running my fingers up and down his washboard abs to chest and back again.

“Cruz,” he answered lying there with is arm resting over his eyes.

“Okay, Cruz what?”

Removing his arm, he looked down at me. “Donavan Cruz, but no one calls me that except for the cops. I love to ride, so Cruz stuck.”

“Donavan, huh? I’m gonna start calling you that.”

“Bull-fucking-shit you are. It’s Cruz. That’s it. Got it?” I nodded, hiding my smile. Since I grew up in the club, I never called any of the brothers by their real name. My brother G.T. has been called that since he was a baby. No one ever uses his real name, except when I’m really pissed. I might throw it out there a couple of times to get under his skin. It’s the same as my name. No one calls me Harlow around here, even though I think it’s a pretty kick ass name. I’m always Princess.

“Got it. How about Stud? Can I call you that?” I smirked, looking up into his blue eyes that engulf me every time; my head rested on his chest.

“Babe, you can call me that whenever you damn well want.” I smiled, climbing up to him, kissing him on the lips.

Yawning, I mumbled, “I’m beat.” I curled up alongside Cruz as he absently began rubbing circles on my shoulder as I drifted off to sleep.

No… I don’t want to… it hurts. I wanted to whine, but I knew better. It wouldn’t help what was about to happen. ‘Shut the fuck up. You want this you dirty little whore.’ He pushed my stomach down onto the hard bed as my arms tried to pull myself up; he pushed harder, his fat beer belly pushing the small of my back. ‘I know you need what I’ve got. Lay there and take it… or fight. I don’t give a shit which you choose.’ Everything in me wanted to fight, wanted to put this asshole on his ass, but I knew I couldn’t do it. I knew I needed what he had for me. I had to do it for the brothers. As he tore into me, I cringed from the pain, biting down on my lip so hard I tasted blood. He was never gentle, but he always brought lube. I think it was more for him than for me. ‘You fucking little whore. Doing this for daddy, huh?’ Every time he came to me, he repeated those same fucking words. And the sad thing was they were true. My body was on fire as each time he thrust into me; it would tear me more and more… I couldn’t breathe… I was suffocating…

“Princess!” My name being called startled me awake. As I turned to the voice, Cruz was sitting up on the bed towering over me as if he’d been working really hard at something. “Are you okay?”

I rubbed my eyes trying to wake myself up. “Yeah. Why?”

He rubbed his hands over my face. I could feel the sweat as he glided his fingers across. Fuck. The dream. Everything came flooding back, but there was no way in hell I was talking to Cruz about it. Not for a single fucking second. “Really. I’m okay.”

“You were mumbling and thrashing your arms around. It didn’t feel like nothing.”

“Really. I’m good. I just need sleep.” I didn’t know how, but by pure luck he let it go, wrapping me in his arms and kissing the top of my head. “I’m just really tired.”

“You will tell me what that shit was about.” His voice was firm and absolute, but I wouldn’t be telling him. Ever.

“Cooper!” I called looking for the little guy. One thing I would fully admit was that little man warms my heart in ways I never thought possible. The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to spend time with him.

“Pin… ess!” I hear before I saw him as he barreled down the hall, Ma following close behind.

“Hey, Buddy.” Picking him up, I squeezed him in my arms. “You ready to go outside?”

“Yes!” He jumped in my arms excitedly.

“Hey Ma, he okay for ya?” When I needed to go to X, Ma would watch Cooper when Cruz couldn’t, and lately, that’s been quite a bit, club business and all. Ma’s been a life-saver. I admit, becoming an instant caretaker, has been a bit of a challenge. But it’s one that I actually didn’t mind.

“Yeah. I gotta get back to the shop.” Her brilliant smile appeared as she took off out the clubhouse doors.

“Thanks…” Squeezing Cooper, we went outside to enjoy the day. The guys built this whole playground contraption that would make old Ronald blush. It had slides, swings, monkey bars, a small clubhouse, teeter totter, rock climbing wall, tire swing, and so much more. It also had a huge sandbox with lots of big trucks and toy motorcycles, of course. This was Cooper’s favorite place, and who could blame him, it was a toddler’s dream.

“Pin… ess, come get me!” Cooper yelled as he took off running. He loved playing chase, and I found I did, too. I loved catching him, twirling him in the air, and hearing that wonderful laugh of his.

Cooper took off around the playground. “Shit!” My foot stumbled on one of the trucks I didn’t see laying out, and I fell hard to the ground knocking my leg with a thump. Shooting pains raced up my leg quickly as the blood began flowing. The shorts I was wearing left no protection, but I could handle the pain. It was the blood I was gonna need to get cleaned up and make sure the cut was okay.

“Pin… ess!” Cooper screamed and started crying hysterically at the sight of my leg.

Wrapping my arms quickly around him, I began rocking him back and forth, his head buried in my chest. “I’m okay, Buddy. It’s just a little blood. No biggie…”

“Hurt… owie,” his muffled cries said in my shirt as my hands rubbed his back.

“Just a little owie, it’s okay.” I rubbed his back gently and kissed him on the top of his head. I surprised myself after I did it but quickly smiled.

Boot steps running our way had my eyes peering up into Rocky’s. I still felt on edge with him, but since talking with Cruz it has lessened quite a bit. “Stay,” was all he said as he looked at my leg and ran off. When he came back, he was holding a first aid kit and began doctoring me up without saying a word.

“Do I need stitches?” I asked with Cooper still clinging to me.

“Nah…” He reached into the kit to grab the liquid stitch; that stuff’s like superglue and burns like shit going on. As he continued working on my leg, Cooper calmed down enough to begin watching what he was doing. He even smiled when Rocky put a Superman Band-Aid over the cut.

“Now I look like you,” I teased Cooper, who giggled. “Thanks Rocky.” I smile at him. He’s more than proving my initial reaction wrong each time I’m around him.

Instead of responding, he grunted and took off. He was a man of few words. Kinda weird, but I actually liked that in a twisted sort of way. I mean, hell, a guy who doesn’t give you any shit. What’s not to like, right?

Two weeks later

“Harder!” I yelled, feeling the wonderful pain-pleasure mix of Cruz slamming deep inside of me. Ma had Cooper for the day, and we were enjoying every minute of our time together. The guys had a run tomorrow and would be gone for a few days. It’d be our first time away from each other since we met.

Cruz and my need for each other was growing uncontrollably; I never thought I’d get enough of him. More than that, we’ve actually talked more. We went from not knowing a damn thing about each other, except for our lust-filled minds to learning so much in the course of two weeks.

He never mentioned club business, and I respected that. I didn’t need to know anyway as everything was calm on the home front, neither Rabbit nor Babs had made any moves, causing me to relax a bit. The brothers wouldn’t take me off lockdown, though. It was starting to wear on me. There’s only so many times a girl can go to the shooting range or work out before she goes nuts.

Cruz began pounding me with everything he had. He picked me up, flipped me onto my stomach, and pushed my knees up and slammed deep inside of me causing a powerful orgasm. A scream escaped my lips. Cruz stilled behind me as he spilled inside of me. We were still using condoms. I had gotten the shot, but had to wait another week before it was completely effective. We both got tested and, thank God, came up clean.

We collapsed down to the bed, gasping for breath.

“Shit.”

“Yeah… shit, Cruz.”

“When I’m gone, you go nowhere without Buzz, Breaker, Rocky, or Tug. Got me?”

“Yeah, I got ya.” My heart swelled with this man, and I knew I was in deep shit. Falling in love with a brother was never part of my plan, but damn it if it wasn’t happening and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

“You know that you sleeping around on me isn’t gonna work.” My mind spun back to Flash and Dagger’s relationship; they could handle that shit; there’s no way I could. Then it flashed to Cruz’s mom and dad… I couldn’t deal. I could deal with guns, drugs, killing… but my heart wasn’t as strong. I knew that. I’ve also learned over the years that many of the brothers had their road whores, the women who took care of their needs on the road. As most of the runs were consistent, having a road whore in another city happened. I couldn’t deal with that. If I wasn’t woman enough for my man, he didn’t need to be mine.

Cruz turned on his side, resting his head on his hand. “It’s not, huh?”

“Look Cruz, I know how this works. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the women around when the ol’ ladies are gone. I’m not stupid. The only one I haven’t seen it with is Pops and Ma. I can’t do it. I’m not the woman that can handle my man being with someone else. If that’s the case, then we need to end this. I couldn’t take it.”

Cruz brushed the hair from my face, “I couldn’t either.” He bent down kissing me softly.

The guys have been gone for two days and were expected back tomorrow night. Coop and I have been enjoying each other, and Casey has been around quite a bit. I have to say it’s pretty shocking, considering I haven’t seen her much since I got out. She kept making excuses about what she was doing. It’s nice having her around, but something with her seems a bit off.

Living at the club hasn’t been hard. Coop and I fell into a great routine with Ma watching him while I went to X for a while each day. I listened to Cruz, and took a Prospect with me each time I left the clubhouse, with the strict instructions from him that they’ll help you with whatever you need.

“Princess, you got a package.” One of the B.Boys called from behind the door.

Taking the large envelope, I thanked him before closing and locking the door to Cruz’s room. I’d been staying here now since that first night. Cooper was playing on the floor with some toys Tug went out and got for him, totally content with the world.

As I opened the envelope, I began to stare and read all of the papers inside. I’d been waiting for these to arrive since I got out, but it must not have been clear to send them to me until now. Inside was information on Babs, where she lived, worked, her family history, social security numbers, birth certificates, her crew, and recent photos of her and Rabbit parading around town. There was also a detailed description of how she spent the last week from the time she fell asleep to every step she took during the day.

While inside, I made some friends of my own, ones who have eyes and ears everywhere. While I gave Diamond my word not to get involved with club business, I would get my personal business with Babs taken care of.

My cell going off made me jump. Seeing it was Liv, I answered right away. “What’s up?”

“Get over here, now. Some guys are in here tearing the place up. The girls are locked in the backroom, and I’m in the office.” Liv’s hushed voice came through the line. I began stuffing all the contents of the envelope back in and threw it in a drawer, shutting it quickly.

Hearing gun shots in the background, I scooped up Coop and ran to Ma’s room. “I’m on my way. They say what they want?”

Banging on Ma’s door, I yell, “Ma take care of Coop, gotta run to X.” Ma nodded.

I began running down the hall. “They didn’t say anything. Just asked if you were here, and when I said no they started tearing up the place.”

“Shit. Stay locked up. Be there in a few.” Crashing into Cruz’s room, I grabbed my gun and placed it in the holster on my back, along with my two smaller ones to go in my boots. Rushing out into the clubhouse, I yelled at the B.Boys and Tug to hurry. I had to go. Rocky had left to spend time with his woman, whom I didn’t know he had.

They didn’t argue, just followed me to the bikes. “What the hell’s going on?” Tug asked.

“X. There’s gun fire, and my girls are in danger.”

“Shit,” Tug sent off a quick text; I’m assuming to the brothers, as we raced to X.

Weaving in and out of traffic on our bikes, we got there in about ten minutes. No cops were in sight, but that was just a matter of time. Parking the bikes, we moved to the back entrance of X. “Get behind us, Princess,” one of the B.Boys said.

I didn’t have time for this shit. “Don’t treat me with fucking kid gloves. Let’s go!” I barked, opening the door from the side. When no shots rang out immediately, I dipped my head slowly in and nodded for them to pass. I pointed B.Boy one to the left and B.Boy two to the right, then for Tug to follow behind me.

Gun shots began raining everywhere, and from the sound of it, we were walking right into the line of fire. “Stay down and only shoot when you have a clear shot,” I whispered to Tug. He nodded. With our guns in front of us, we began creeping around the corner staying out of their line of sight. Three men wearing green and black rags were shooting the glass mirrors, destroying the room. Every liquor bottle was shattered with alcohol splashing everywhere.

Lining up my gun, I had a clear shot of Asshole One. Looking over at Tug, he was lined up, too. We nodded at each other and shot at the same time, each of us hitting our mark. Asshole Three came barreling towards the door blocking us, shooting as he came. Reaching my gun around, I began rapid firing low, not wanting to kill him just yet.

His grunts and groans as the bullets hit him sent a sense of euphoria through me. No drug could give anyone a high like this, not as good as riding, but up there. Peeking around the corner, Asshole Three was groaning, his gun about two feet away from his hand. Walking slowly towards him, Tug went to the gun, moving it out of his reach.

I walked over to the asshole bleeding all over my beautiful carpet; good thing it was blood red. Kicking him in the stomach, “Who sent you here?” I barked, pointing the gun at his head.

“You stupid puta!” I kicked him again. Asshole needed to learn respect, which he obviously didn’t have, shooting up my place.

“Tug, check it out.” Tug immediately took off.

“Listen, Fucker. You wanted me. Now you got me. What the fuck do you want here?” I barked, clutching my gun.

“Boss says you stay away from Babs, or this happens again.” I laughed. It all comes back to that stupid bitch, and yet she hasn’t had the fucking balls to show her damn face.

“This is because of that bitch?” I smacked his head with the butt of my gun, sending blood flying.

“Puta!” he yelled, holding his head.

“Tell me why she thinks I’m coming for her?”

“Fuck you.”

Tug walked in the room, “Clear.”

“Go let the girls out.”

“My pleasure.” He turned and walked toward the back.

“Again. Tell me why she thinks I’m coming for her?” Each word I emphasized with a kick. This fucker obviously thought I was a weak little thing. I needed to show him how wrong he was.

“Fuck,” he groaned, trying to roll to his side.

“No, I don’t want to fuck, but thanks for offering.” I smiled, pointing my gun at his head. “I don’t need you alive, I could care less if you live or die. That choice is up to you.” The dead calm from my voice was even strange to me, but I’ve used it many times in my life.

“She put you in… doesn’t want the brothers coming after her.”

“It’s not the brothers she needs to worry about, now is it? You think coming here and making a fucking mess is gonna get her in our good graces?” I paused, looking at Liv as she walked in the room. “Liv, make sure the girls don’t come in here. Take them out the back.”

She scurried across the floor to the backroom. “Now. What to do with you? We’ve already killed two of your men. So maybe I’ll let you live to deliver a message.” Taking the gun, I shot him once in each leg. His screams made me smile.

“Would you like that? Staying alive?” He shook his head like the pussy he was. “Okay, here’s the message. Tell Babs, I love her.”

He looked at me shocked. “What?”

“You heard me.” Pausing, I looked at Tug across the room. “You might wanna look the other way.” I smiled smugly, but he didn’t turn away.

“Pull your dick out,” I ordered to the asshole.

“No, puta,” he growled at me.

Hitting him with the butt of my gun again, this time in the nose, sending more blood spattering, I ordered, “Do it. And if you fucking call me puta again, I will blow your fucking dick off.” Looking at the asshole, I felt Tug by my side. “Tug since you’re not looking away. Come hold the gun on him.” He complied. “Wrap his hands with this.” I handed Tug part of the drapery that had fallen to the ground.

With my gun in my right hand, I slowly grabbed the asshole’s dick. “Now, do you want your dick or your balls?”

“Wh… at?” He was visibly shaken by the question.

“Do you want use of your dick or your balls?” When he didn’t answer, I made the decision for him. Wrapping my one hand around his balls, I pulled with all of my strength feeling the ligaments and flesh pulling away from his body. When he yelled, I pulled harder. I heard a small whimper from Tug but didn’t look his way. Rewrapping my hand around him for a better grip, I pulled once more for good measure making sure the only way he’d use these bad boys again was with a lot of surgery. I didn’t need him reproducing.

“Now you remember what the message is?” I asked, nonchalantly as if I didn’t just rip a guy’s balls off.

When he didn’t answer, I grabbed his dick as he paused, fear laced in his eyes. “Ye…sss…”

“What is it?” My words dripping with honey.

“Tell Babs you love her,” he stammered out.

“Good. Tug get him out of here. Ditch him far away.” Tug nodded, picking up his phone, making the arrangements. “Where are the B.Boys?”

“Taking care of the girls… hey, Princess?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said looking around at the pit Studio X had just become.

“Remind me never to piss you off.” I turned, smiling at him, not responding.

The B.Boys moved the bodies quickly, getting them the hell out of there. And by the time the cops came, there was only the mess to deal with. I told them that someone broke in and trashed the place, shooting guns off everywhere. By the time I got there, they were all gone.

The cops didn’t ask any other questions. We’ve known the chief for years, and he kept our business… well, our business.

Liv came in, visibly shaken. “Girl, you okay?”

“Will be,” she replied as her eyes searched the room, taking in all of the destruction.

“I’ll ask Cruz if the Prospects can help clean up the mess and we’ll get the girls to help. We’ll be up and running soon.” I hugged her, rubbing her back. “We’ll need to be closed for a few days.” She nodded.

“Princess, phone call.” Tug held out his phone to me. “Cruz.”

I figured and turned on the charm. “Hey, Baby. How’s the trip?”

“Don’t, what the fuck happened?” After explaining in detail what happened, he wasn’t very happy with me. “Get your fucking ass to the clubhouse, now.” He yelled loud enough; I had to pull it away from my ear.

“We’re just about done here.”

“No. Now.”

I tried to swallow my frustration, but it was difficult. “I’m fine. Everyone is fine.”

“You are not fine. You fucking shot two guys and ripped a guy’s balls off. Not to mention the Studio is fucking trashed. Like I said, get your ass to the clubhouse, now. I’m on my way. Be there in two hours.”

Blowing out a deep breath, I forced out, “Leaving now.”

“Good. Lock yourself in my damn room with my boy, and don’t fucking move.”

Rolling my eyes, I responded, “Okay.” I waited for him to hang up.

“Let’s ride,” I said to Tug, slipped my phone in my pocket, then turned to the boys. “B.Boys get Liv home, please, and lock this place up tight.”