Rock Chick

Chapter Sixteen Must… Stop… Brain

“What?” I shouted.

He was watching me closely.

I bucked, pushed and tried to get away but he held on tight.

“Let me go,” I demanded.

He didn’t say anything, just effortlessly held me to him.

I stilled and looked at him.

There was no denying it. His intelligence about when my infatuation started was too detailed to lie about.

“How did you know about that? Was it Ally?” I asked.

“I read your diary.”

Oh… my… God.

“What? When?”

“I don’t know, when you were fifteen, sixteen. You were schemin’ and throwin’ yourself at me pretty steady, recruitin’ your friends to help, some of it was ingenious. I was lookin’ for ways to…” he hesitated then found the words, “diffuse your eagerness.”

Holy shit.

How embarrassing was that?

It was a long time ago and I didn’t remember what I wrote in my diary. What I did remember was that it was nearly all about Lee and all of it was very personal.

I pressed my hands against his chest and tilted my chin down so I couldn’t see him.

I was never going to live this down. It felt like my whole body was on fire with mortification. I had to get the fuck out of there before I exploded. I was the Embarrassment Bomb.

“Indy.”

“You shouldn’t have read my diary. That was low,” I told his chest. “But it was a long time ago. Things change, I’ve changed. I don’t feel that way anymore.”

“That’s why you made chocolate cream pie last night.”

I lifted my head and glared at him. “You’d had a hard couple of days, I was trying to be nice.”

“Last night was nice, very nice.”

“Go to hell.”

I was too embarrassed for compliments or to be fair or rational. I just wanted to get away.

“Considering I’ve finally had you, had you in three different rooms, and feel pretty fuckin’ pleased about that, I’ll let that comment slide,” he said, sounding like he was beginning to get annoyed.

“Nice of you.”

I bucked again to get away and he rolled on top of me.

“Settle down,” he ordered.

“Get off me.”

“Right,” he clipped, (yep, definitely annoyed), “shut up and listen to me.”

My eyes rounded with anger, about to pop out of my head. Before I could say a word, he started talking.

“First of all, back then, you were underage. No way I could touch you, legally. Not the way I wanted to anyway. There aren’t a lot of people whose opinions I care about but your father’s is one of them. He’d have lost his mind if we’d hooked up then because my reputation wasn’t exactly unearned.”

This was true.

I still glared at him.

“It wasn’t easy to keep sayin’ no, you’re fucking gorgeous and always were. I wanted you then but you were a wild child. Everyone knew you were a handful. I wasn’t gonna go near you until you calmed down. It might be entertaining to watch when you’re removed, but if you’d been mine, you’d have driven me up the wall. I knew myself well enough to know that.”

This might have been true but I certainly didn’t want to hear it.

“Regardless of that, I intended to have you, one day, and that was always at the back of my mind, so I considered you mine even when you weren’t. It was common knowledge our families were close. Half the assholes I knew came to me tellin’ me they wanted a piece of you, the other half lyin’ about havin’ a piece. Why do you think I fought so goddamned much?”

Yikes.

That was news.

He went on. “I knew I had to get my shit together before I got us together. By the time that happened, you were avoiding me. We’ve discussed this part, without much of your honest participation. This brings us to now.”

He stared at me.

I kept my mouth shut.

“You can jump in anytime you feel like it,” he said.

Hmm, sarcasm.

“You shouldn’t have read my diary,” I snapped.

“Get over it.”

“I’m not gonna get over it. That’s personal. How I feel about you should be for me to tell you.”

He waited a beat.

“Point taken.”

That’s as far as he went, no apology and no remorse.

Jerk.

“I was a young girl with an infatuation. You shouldn’t mistake who I was for who I am now.”

Lee made no comment.

“That said, I am what I am. I’m still a wild child, I still do stupid, crazy things. I listen to rock ‘n’ roll, loud. I lip sync with drag queens. I find it fun to try to out-attitude the Sushi Den hostesses and sometimes, Ally and me even joyride around Denver. I haven’t changed and you can’t control me. If you even want to, I’m gone.”

“There’s a difference between controlling and protecting,” he remarked.

“Yeah, be careful not to cross that line. A line, I might add, you crossed this morning.” I was on a roll. “And while we’re talking about control, I may not have changed, but you have. The Lee I thought I loved when I was a teenager is not you.”

That pissed him off and his eyes narrowed. “I’m not hiding anything.”

“Do you mean to imply that I am?”

“Jesus, Indy, if you had the wall around you any more fortified, it’d be so deep you’d be in fucking Mexico.”

“I’ve always let it all hang out!”

“Bullshit.”

I made an angry noise that sounded like someone had punched me in the stomach.

“You got something to say?” I demanded.

His face changed, there was something there I’d never seen before. Something the looks of which scared the hell out of me.

When he spoke, his voice was softer, even gentle.

“You live every day like tomorrow isn’t gonna come. Your mother died before she reached your age. You watched your father chose to live a lonely life rather than replace her. It doesn’t take a psychologist to put those things together and figure out why you allow yourself to take care of all the Rosies and Texes of the world but don’t allow anyone to get very close to you.”

That was when I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

I turned my head away and bucked again. “Get off me.”

“Un-unh.” He curved his fingers and thumb around my chin and jaw and forced me to look at him. “I’m not gettin’ off, not goin’ away, not playin’ anymore games or wastin’ anymore fuckin’ time. I don’t believe in fate or destiny or any of that bullshit. What I know is that, as far as I can tell, there isn’t another woman I’ve met who fits my life. Who doesn’t care if I get home late after she’s made a special dinner. Who doesn’t have a hemorrhage when I talk about one of my men gettin’ shot, goin’ off about how she feels about my work. You got up and made everyone coffee, for fuck’s sake. You’re a woman who tells me to be careful when I tell her I’m out hunting humans, instead of bitchin’ and wantin’ to process how my career choice makes her feel. If an employee walked into their kitchen with a gun and shot at their neighbor, most people would lose their fucking minds. You spent the morning makin’ brownies and the afternoon sleepin’ in the sun. You live hard, play hard and don’t seem to be scared of anything but manage to keep a softness about you that’s almost unreal. You wanted me to tell you why I’m sure about you, that’s why I’m sure. You grew up and your only parent was a cop, you know the drill. I don’t have any interest in trainin’ someone to get it and I need someone strong enough to live with it. That’s you.”

I stared at him, eyes wide. I’d never heard him say so much, all at one time, in my life. And I’d known him my entire life.

“How often do your men get shot?” I asked.

“Shot at, too often. Shot, luckily, rarely.”

I wanted to ask how often he got shot at or had been shot. I wanted to ask but I didn’t want to know the answer. So I didn’t ask.

“Smart decision,” he murmured. He was in my brain. Again.

“I do get scared,” I whispered, “you scare me.”

His eyes crinkled.

“That’s the best thing I’ve heard in a week.”

I was stunned.

“That you scare me?”

His mouth brushed mine.

“If I scare you, then you care. I’m the same Lee, just older and smarter. You love me, eventually your wall will come down and you’ll admit it to yourself and then you’ll admit it to me.”

Jeez, he was so cocky.

His hands started moving on me and he began to nuzzle my neck again.

Apparently our little drama was over.

“I don’t think I’m done being pissed at you,” I told him.

“That’s okay,” he said against my ear, “I can still make love to you when you’re angry.”

Unbelievably cocky.

“I don’t think so,” I said.

His hand went between my legs, his fingers executing a delicious little swirl that was just enough pressure to get my attention but light enough to make me want more.

Bastard.

I opened my legs a bit, I couldn’t help it.

He kissed me as reward.

“I promised to show you who I was, which mostly you know, today you’ll learn more,” he said when he was nuzzling my neck again. I was kind of listening but his fingers were exerting more pressure and doing some more swirl action so I was finding it hard. “And I promised to tell you what I wanted and give you time to decide.”

Oh no, this wasn’t fair.

I’d opened my legs further and the swirling was getting serious. I was running my hands up his back and had my face shoved in his neck. There was no way I could process important discussion.

“Can we…” I panted, “talk about this later?”

I thought he agreed, he slid between my legs and entered me.

Nice, very, very nice.

He started to move.

“I want you in my house, in my bed. I want you to move in by the weekend.”

My eyes were closed but they flew open and I saw he was looking at me.

I still wanted to take our relationship slow, he was talking hyper-drive.

I could not deal with this, not now. He hadn’t stopped moving and he felt good inside me.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him, sliding a hand in his hair.

“Lee…”

I didn’t intend to say anything else, just shut him up so I could concentrate.

“Jesus,” he buried his face in my neck, “there’s nothin’ better in the world than hearin’ you say my name when I’m inside you.” He slid in deep, filling me. “I’ve been waitin’ years to be right here.”

Holy crap.

His mouth was at my ear.

“I could be on assignment, in a desert as hot as an oven, in a jungle as close as fuck and sometimes I’d get through it dreamin’ of you sayin’ my name like that.”

Holy crap, crap, crap.

“I’ll move in by the weekend,” I said.

He lifted his head and smiled.

Fucking Lee.

I was in the bathroom swiping on makeup.

The bruise on my cheek was nearly gone and my mental body checkup declared only slight aches and pains after a day of no mishaps (and a night and morning of great sex which apparently was an effective muscle relaxant). I was thinking my luck was turning as yesterday, outside of finally doing it with Lee, my adventures only included one dead body which fortunately wasn’t mine. Therefore good and bad instead of all bad.

Then Lee walked into the bathroom wearing just the faded navy sweat-shorts.

I glanced at him in the mirror and tried to tamp down my panic.

In the heat of the moment, I’d agreed to move in.

Okay, so it was more about what he said than the heat of the moment, but I’d still agreed to move in.

Further, I’d just noticed something I hadn’t really taken in the night before. Judy had given me a makeup drawer in Lee’s bathroom vanity.

It was all too much.

He slid a fresh mug o’ java on the vanity counter and put my cell beside it.

“Your phone’s beeping,” he said.

I moved aside to make room as he prepared to shave. I took a sip of coffee and let my mind run wild.

Dear Lord in heaven, I was putting on makeup and Lee was shaving, at the same time, in the same room, after having sex, lots of sex, even sex in this very room!

I stood, frozen to the spot, and stared at him.

He lathered his cheeks with a thin gel and his eyes slid to the side. He checked me out from their corners.

“Something wrong?”

“I’m not really a bathroom sharer,” I informed him.

He looked back in the mirror and continued doing exactly what he was doing.

“Honey, it’s good you’re gorgeous or you’d be a pain in the ass.”

Well, I’m so sure.

I grabbed my phone, looked at the display and saw seven missed calls.

Yikes.

How did that happen?

I called my voicemail while I leaned as best I could on my half of the vanity (I had to admit, it was a big vanity… maybe I was being a bit of a wuss) and swept mascara on my lashes.

Four voicemails.

First up, Willie Moses.

“Indy, Willie… call me.”

Hmm.

Second, Marianne.

“I know Ally said it’s none of my business but give me a break, I live with my parents, I don’t have a life. Yours is better and I want to know everything. Let’s meet at The Hornet tonight if you can guarantee we won’t get shot at.”

Yikes.

Third, Stevie.

“Well? How’d it go? Don’t forget Chowleena, I’ll be leaving just before noon. Tod will be home tomorrow, early, so if you still have her for a sleep over, just leave a note. Kisses.”

Fourth, Duke (who obviously was talking before being given the beep).

“… ass in here or I’m gonna kill him.”

I poked myself in the eye with the mascara wand.

“Holy crap,” I said.

“That looked like it hurt.”

I was blinking fiercely, my eye was tearing up, making my other eye tear up and I was trying to see my phone to replay Duke’s message.

Lee tore off some toilet paper, handed it to me and took the phone.

“Listen!” I told him. “The last message.”

I opened my mouth as far as it would go, which was a feminine mechanism that one had to use to open one’s eyes as far as they would go. I dabbed at the tears and blotches of mascara, trying to avert a cosmetics disaster.

“Who does he want to kill?” Lee asked.

“I don’t know, it’s Duke. He has the patience of a gnat and a three centimeter fuse. Do you think it could be Rosie?”

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know, it’s Duke!” I cried, exasperated. “He refuses to buy a cell phone or answering machine. He’s a fucking caveman.”

Lee was scrolling down my phone book and he punched a button.

“Dolores? It’s Lee. Can I talk to Duke?”

Quick Thinker Lee decided to call Duke and Dolores’s home phone. Simple. I hated it when I was an idiot. Thank God he was the private eye in the family.

Oh jeez, did I just think “in the family”?

Must… stop… brain.

I reapplied some shadow and fixed the mascara while Lee was talking and then he said, “Yeah? Got it. Thanks.”

I screwed on the cap to the mascara and threw it in the drawer while Lee flipped shut the cell and slid it on the counter. Then he calmly went back to shaving. I slid the drawer shut with my hip.

“Well?”

“The police took the tape down at the store. Willie called you to let you know and when he couldn’t get you, he called Duke. Apparently, there’s a crazy Italian guy at Fortnum’s saying he’s your new coffee guy. Jane called Dolores because Duke was getting heated. Dolores called the cops. They’re handling it.”

“What crazy Italian guy?”

Lee tilted his head to see his jaw and slid his razor up his neck.

“Don’t know.”

“I didn’t even know we were open today! We have to get down there.”

“Dolores didn’t seem upset.”

“Dolores lives with Duke and thinks he’s cuddly. She works at The Little Bear where people throw around their underwear. Dolores isn’t a good judge of when to get upset!”

Lee looked at me in the mirror. “I’m thinkin’ at this point, you aren’t either.”

I was dressed, khaki low-rider shorts (not Britney-Spears-low-rider but they showed a hint of back), sky-blue, fitted t-shirt with the word “Xanadu” across my chest in glittery lettering and a wide dark-brown belt with a thick matte-silver buckle.

I walked out and went to the closet and grabbed a pair of flip flops with ribbon straps with sky-blue funky shapes against khaki. I slid them on, snagged my purse and pulled it on my shoulder. I walked back to the bathroom, snatched up my phone and dropped it in my bag. Then I rested my hip on the edge of the counter and clicked my nails against the top, my other hand on my hip.

And I stared at Lee.

He grabbed a towel, wiped his face and threw it in the sink.

“Hey! You can’t just throw your towel in the sink! Who’s gonna fold that towel and put it back on the rail? I’ll tell you who it won’t be. Me!”

That’s when he grabbed my hips, pulled me to him and grinned.

“You’re tryin’ to break the land speed record for gettin’ an offer to move in rescinded, aren’t you?”

“No. And it was hardly an offer as much as sexual blackmail.”

His grin widened into a smile.

Fucking Lee!

“Hello!” I called. “Fortnum’s? My bread and butter? The family business for the last…” Wow, I didn’t even know how long it had been in the family, I’d have to wing it. “Umpteen years! Crazy Italian guy? Duke’s homicide threat? Ring a bell?”

He drew me closer to him. “Have I told you you’re cute?”

Grr.

We walked into Fortnum’s and my crazy morning got crazier.

Terry Wilcox, Goon Gary and The Moron were all facing off against Duke.

“What’s going on?” I asked when I walked in, my stomach lurching. You could feel the bad energy in the room.

No customers (thank God, kind of) and Jane was nowhere to be seen (thank God again).

“This idiot has brought the Italian guy back after the police took him away. Says he’s a fucking present,” Duke said.

“India. You look well,” Terry Wilcox said, his eyes sliding down the length of me.

Yuck.

I was getting that queasy feeling that my body seemed to save for my encounters with Terry Wilcox. I was hoping they would only number two, this one and the last.

Luckily, Lee’s hand felt warm and strong where it settled at my hip.

“Coxy,” Lee said.

“Lee,” Wilcox replied.

“You know him?” Duke asked.

“Yeah,” Lee said and that one syllable said he didn’t like him much.

Duke moved toward us at the same time that Lee put pressure on me to move behind him. I planted my feet and stayed where I was.

Goon Gary and The Moron were shifting, getting ready for action.

Great. Just what I needed, a brawl in Fortnum’s.

Wilcox decided to play peacemaker.

“There’s no need to get excited, boys,” he said. “India, you said you had a problem, you lost your coffee guy and were losing business. I’ve brought you a new one, from Italy, where they invented espresso. This is Antonio and he’s very talented.”

I looked at a man I hadn’t noticed who was standing behind Goon Gary. He looked like an Italian version of Rosie except better groomed. Slightly better.

The door opened as I was saying, “I don’t need a coffee guy, thanks, we’re covered.”

Then from behind me came, “Uh-oh, major bad vibe. What’s shakin’ now, woman?”

I turned to the door and saw Tex.

Wonderful, it just kept getting better and better. Now Tex was in the mix.

“What’re you doing here?” I asked Tex.

“Came for coffee.”

Of course.

“How’d you get here?”

“Drove. I have a car, but I usually let the neighbors use it.”

I gaped at him.

“You drove with your arm in a sling?”

“Fuck yeah, only got tricky when I had to shift.”

I lifted both of my hands and put my palms to my forehead. It was a Calgon-take-me-away moment.

“Coxy, she doesn’t want your man. You can send him home,” Lee said, his voice calm but scary.

“He’s a present, for India. It’s hardly for you to say,” Wilcox returned, also calm but combative.

“Lee says he goes, he fucking goes!” Duke roared, not at all calm.

“I make coffee!” the Italian guy shouted, looking a bit more at ease when someone was shouting.

I was having visions of Goon Gary flying through the front window of my store.

“Everyone makes coffee, twerp. I make coffee. Jeez-us. Why the big deal about coffee?” Tex said and lumbered to the espresso machine as if the air wasn’t thick enough with tension. He pushed himself behind the counter. “What’ll it be? I’ll make everybody coffee.”

Oh… my…. God.

This was not happening.

I saw my life flashing before my eyes, or at least my bank balance.

I turned to Lee and whispered, “Lee, that espresso machine cost thousands of dollars…” I stopped speaking and winced when Tex banged something, loud, “If he breaks it, I’m totally screwed.”

“Come on! What’ll it be? Give me orders. Woman, what’s your order?” Tex was pointing the portafilter at me.

“I am barista. I am the best barista in Milan. I make coffee!” Antonio shouted and dashed behind the counter. “Signorina, I make you espresso.”

Lee was ignoring me so I yelled, generally, “Someone stop them!”

“She drinks vanilla lattes,” Duke called.

I grabbed Lee’s arm.

“Lee!”

Lee was watching Gary and The Moron. He didn’t look at me when he said, “He breaks it, I’ll buy you a new one.”

I pressed up against him.

“When I say ‘thousands of dollars’, I mean, like, seven of them!”

Lee’s eyes moved to me. “Indy, honey, what did I say?”

Yikes.

Okay, Lee was concentrating and obviously it was best to leave Lee alone when he was concentrating.

“Ha ha!” Antonio crowed watching Tex slam around. “You know nothing about espresso. I am barista, my father was barista, my grandfather…”

“Shut the fuck up and make coffee if you make coffee, turkey,” Tex boomed.

Wilcox took two steps toward us, Lee moved in front of me and Duke closed ranks.

“That’s close enough, Coxy,” Lee warned.

Wilcox was looking at me but he stopped at Lee’s warning.

“You keep sending back my presents,” Wilcox said to me.

I got a chill up my spine, his eyes were weird, intense and frightening.

“Thank you, you’re being very nice but it would be rude for me to accept them.”

“You accepted the one I gave you yesterday.”

Lee’s body tensed and it seemed as if electricity sparkled in the air.

Then it came to me, in a flash.

I was on the phone to Lee yesterday, telling him about Pepper Rick’s body and Lee had said, “A present.”

I hadn’t thought of it again, but that’s what he meant. Wilcox had killed my kidnapper and brought him to me as a present.

Oh… my… God.

How totally gross was that?

I was standing mostly behind Lee and grabbed bunches of his t-shirt in my hands but I didn’t take my eyes off Wilcox.

“You didn’t…” I whispered.

“I can keep you safe, India. My present yesterday proved it,” Wilcox said.

I felt bile climb up the back of my throat.

Then something else hit me, the store was bugged. Days ago, Lee had bugged the store. If I could get him talking, maybe it could get taped or someone at Lee’s Command Headquarters was listening. Then Wilcox could be picked up for murder and I’d never have to worry about him again, or, at least, until they let him out.

“Lee keeps me protected,” I told Wilcox, I didn’t know what to say to draw him out.

He smiled his oily smile.

“To do it properly, you have to eliminate the threat.”

“Is that what you did? Eliminated the threat and put him at my front door?”

His smile didn’t waver and he didn’t answer.

“I didn’t know he was from you, how was I to know the dead guy was from you? You should have left, like, a note or something,” I said.

“Antonio!” Wilcox shouted, the suddenness of it making me jump, “we’re going. The lady said she doesn’t need your services.”

“But I make coffee,” Antonio whined.

Wilcox just slid his eyes to Antonio and without another word, he rushed out from behind the counter.

Wilcox winked at me, nodded to Lee and Duke and then left, Antonio and the rest of his goons on his heels.

I was holding my breath. When the door closed behind them, I let the breath out in a whoosh, sagging against Lee’s back.

“I’m surprised you didn’t put your fist in his face,” Duke said to Lee.

“I’d rather put a bullet in his brain,” Lee replied in a voice that was oh-so-much-more scary then the calm one he’d used earlier. Mainly because he sounded like he intended to do it.

He twisted, pulled me around to his front and kissed my forehead.

“You did all right,” he told me.

“This has to end soon, I’m coming apart at the seams.”

His arm wrapped around my shoulders and neck and held me close.

Jane wandered out from the bowels of the shelves, reading and walking at the same time, her face buried in an open book. Oblivious to the most recent drama, she seemed to sense the presence of others, looked up in surprise as if she’d just encountered us all in her living room, not standing at the front of a huge, used bookstore. She stopped dead, staring at Tex.

“Hey Jane, honey. How’re you doin’ today?” I asked, worried that she’d have ill-effects after seeing a dead body yesterday.

Her eyes went from Tex, to me then flickered to Lee and I could see her blush.

This didn’t surprise me. Lee had that effect on women.

She didn’t answer me, just nodded and wandered behind the book counter.

“She’s hangin’ in there,” Duke mumbled, answering my unspoken question.

“Indy, are you gonna try my coffee, or what?” Tex called.

I disengaged from Lee and walked on shaky legs to the counter. I took the cup from Tex and before I even took a drink, I stopped and lifted my eyes to look at the big, crazy man.

I could smell it, and it smelled good.

I tasted it.

Divine.

“Tex,” I whispered, “this is the nectar of the gods.”

“I told you anyone could make coffee,” Tex replied.

“You want a job?” I asked him.

Tex stared. “You shittin’ me?”

“Nope.”

“What about the cats?”

“Sometimes they need to play and sometimes they need to sleep. They can sleep while you’re making coffee.”